#scriddler oneshot

[stryshttu]

baby wake up, my new scriddler oneshot + dad scarecrow with arkham knight just dropped !!!!!!!

SAFE FOR WORK 💌 just cringe humor

[skeetlebeetle]

ok wait i actually rlly like this line from a scriddler drabble i wrote a year back. riddler says it:

Riddles only manipulate the brains of those who give them thought. Those people are either smart enough to answer them but dumb enough to enjoy their frivolity or simple idiots who can't understand the question…

then scarecrow proceeds 2 point out that riddler also likes riddles and then he gets all indignant like NO i like riddles 4 a different reason!!!! it’s different cuz i’m smart!!!!!! it’s so silly

[stephaniebrownslover]

Updates about my fics!!

Here, my AO3 account;

https://archiveofourown.org/users/stephaniebrownslover

Ongoing Fics;

Stray Souls||Ticciwork-centric Creepypasta Fanfiction

Well, I got my phone back from service so I can keep continue to translate it. Wait for an update soon!!

Purple Dreams(For Purple Hearts)

Well mother look what the war did to my legs and to my tongue

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

I'm truly sorry for people who waiting an update for mu Steph fics, I'm sorry but I just can't bring myself to write anything Batman related after Gotham War. What they did in that arc was purely awful and I can't get over my hate for it since months.

So this is why I can't write anything about Stephanie even though I love her so much, but I swear I'll try my best to do something about it.

Also I don't like how I characterize some of the characters and I can't feel like they're in-character.

So yeah, hoping for motivation.

Fight or Flight

No one seemed to like it including myself so this will probably be discontinued.

Plus, I started to lose my interest in Scriddler ship.

Meaningless Azula Drabbles And Oneshots

I do have an angsty oneshot inspired by Azula In The Spirit Temple comic but I need the motivation to translate it.

I don't like this oneshot much either.

Upcoming Fics(sometime);

Boy with Red Arrows[Roy Harper]

I need to learn more about Arrowfam for starting chapter 2 but I don't have much time so it's less likely to come soon.

My Creepypasta AU Fanfic And Character Files

Still working on Clockwork character file and it's so damn boring to do, I can't stay motivated on this topic. Here, have a sneak peak.

Oh, did I mentioned that this work is Clockwork-centric?

...

History

Birth date: 13.10.1994

Place of birth: America/New Jersey

Key family members:

Mary Beth Ouellette (Mother; Deceased)

David Ouellette (Father; Deceased)

Lucas Ouellette (Brother

Notable events/milestones: Won an art competition for kids, sadly she never got praised for it

Tried to drink beer once, hated it but now she can stand its taste so we can say that she learned to like it

Wanted to start her little rock band with Toby, they even tried to find some other members, but that dream never came true as you can see

Met with Toby in high school, while stealing coffee from cafeteria but she doesn't recalls that

Killed her family and put a clock on her left eye, then burned her house down to the ground, she is an well-known and scarred killer ever since that day

One time, when her mother was really drunk and Natalie was acting like she is sleeping, her mother said "I'm so sorry my baby, I'm sorry." and after leaving the room, Natalie bursted into tears

Criminal record: Has so many records since she's really sloppy about hiding evidence, still police can't catch her- maybe because she kills all the police officers who catch her

...

Trapped In A Maze//Stephanie Brown

A weird Stephanie work because I love her so much that I want her to suffer.

If I Die Tonight, Would I Be a Hero Like You?「Azula & Zuko」

Basically a Vampire AU which continues on where the show left.

I want to start writing this thing as soon as possible but I'm not sure whether I can keep updating or not

Fire siblings centric.

ChesRoy(Cheshire x Roy Harper) Oneshots

I love this ship so much and I already have 2 oneshots which need editing and translation.

Creepypasta Humans Vs. Vampires AU

I have a simple post about it but I would really love to keep working on this AU, if you guys want to learn more about it.

Heart Of The Christmas[Batfamily Oneshot]

Just a classic, fluffy Oneshot where Bruce is not an asshole. But I can't stand writing him anymore, sorry.

Stephanie Brown Angst Oneshot-Part 2

Yeah, a oneshot where she gets her revenge from her father.

So...What Happened To Our Money?[Batfamily Coffee Shop Au Fanfic]

They open a coffee shop; that's it, that's the plot.

The Annual Of Purple Alien's Homecoming[Stephanie Brown+Batfamily Oneshot]

Again, a fluffy angsty, Steph centric oneshot.

Christmas Brings Chaos||Creepypasta Oneshot

Let's just say if I ever have time to write this, it'll be very chaotic

Happy Deadly Halloweens||Creepypasta Oneshot

A fluffy creepypasta Halloween oneshot.

Nurse Ann's Origin Story

You guys know that Nurse Ann doesn't have a origin story, right?

So I really want to write a 2010's styled oneshot origin for her. This will be not canon but it would be still fun to do. I hope I can do this soon.

Hunter[Jane The Killer]

A Jane centric fic where she lives her life with Mary and hunts Jeff.

Rainy Days In Summer Months||Batfamily Oneshot

Batkids would be locked in manor in a rainy day for some reason and they'll try to have some fun.

A Maze Full Of Killers[Creepypasta]

A fic with a similar plot to Hunger Games but also different than it. I don't know, it's confusing and I haven't decided who's the main character.

Babysitting Show[Crack Batfamily Minific]

Yup, there's a show where hero's babysit a literal baby and it's centered around Batfamily. Maybe I can keep going with other heroes as the story develops but I don't think this will last long.

[darkpurpledawn]

my favorite Batman fics from 2023, part two

and here’s the rest! favorite bat fics completed in 2023--the previous list had harlivy, batcat, batfam/gen, and bruce-centric, now we’re walking on the less canon side

Riddlebat

april showers bring may flowers by paprikaflakes (@paprikaspice)

What’s better than sex pollen fic? Sex pollen fic with two deeply repressed nerds and a giant chessboard!

folie à deux by bloodfruit

super cool and beautifully written Riddlebat 2022 fic using a console-style format

Misc rogues

i violated professional boundaries (and all i got was this stupid tee shirt) by paprikaflakes (@paprikaspice)

An immensely fun Scriddler fic in which every line is worth savoring

Let it Slide by finnieston_crane (@finniestoncrane)

Incredibly true-to-characrer Batman Unburied Riddler/reader smut oneshot

Bruce and Harvey by burninswell

Bruharvey smut fresh and hot, come and get it!

Batjokes and Joker centric

burn it to ashes by distortopia (@distort-opia)

An absolutely scorching batjokes fic based on the Deadly Duo comic that uses the (canonical!) gimp mask for all it's worth =))

Grudge Match by frickityfrac (@fractualized)

You'll never be able to think of Dick Grayson and the Joker the same way again--a pairing that seems like it shouldn't work but becomes both plausible and hilarious in this masterpiece

Pierrot by Vampowerment

Gorgeous and well-realized fic in which Harley pines for Joker and Joker pines for Batman, absolutely a top read of the year

Two weeks til the music stops by MargueritePoretesDefenseAttorney

Actual laugh-out-loud fic about the Batfam investigating Bruce’s suspicious new relationship with a guy who looks weirdly like the Joker. I was wheezing

Take Me From Within by Shiny_n_new (@shinynewwriting)

Joker, in Santa Prisca, talks to the Batman Who Laughs. Taut and tense and captivating

To the Victor Go the Spoils by ArgentNoelle (@argentnoelle)

I’m cheating here as this is part of a series, but it’s a series I’m obsessed with and highly rec this chapter as well as the whole thing

what cuts is not the horror by distortopia (@distort-opia)

Joker/Bruce Wayne, all the content warnings, all the fun

Woman in the Attic by DesdemonaKaylose (@desdemonafictional)

spectacularly, wonderfully, intricately Messed-Up

link to part one

[acapelladitty]

how do you shake burnout, and writer's block?

I find asks like this hard to answer because I wish I could do more writing but then many people tell me that my output is already fucking insane and that I need to relax (esp cause I'm juggling it with a very intense full time job, running my own house, and also keeping up with my family and social life). So I'm never too sure what to think, but I'll break down my thoughts a bit more below.

I'm constantly changing up what I do and that can keep the writers block at bay. I play with different fandoms, characters, tropes, settings etc all the time. So, for example, if I'm not getting anywhere with a Scriddler oneshot then I can quickly flick to some Resident Evil smut. It makes things fresh and fun and it definitely keeps the writers block at bay.

I do get burnout and it's never nice when it rears up. I try not to let it get to that point because, at the end of the day, writing is a HOBBY for me and less than 5% of my output is made up of paid comms cause I do this shit for the love of the game. So when burnout comes, I will take a step back cause I'm obviously not getting what I want out of writing and I need some time away.

But I really do find questions like this tricky so if there's a more specific thing you'd like to ask then please lemme know xx

[gxdsetmxnsters]

As quiet as a mouse...

Short Scriddler oneshot. Trying to get back into writing after several months of writer’s block. Apologies if any of this is OOC. It’s not set with any specific versions of the characters and isn’t apart of our AU either. It’s just a short standalone story.

Edward stiffened when he heard rustling from the plastic bag he’d set by the door hours earlier. Sitting up in bed, he rubbed his eyes and squinted before groping for his glasses. Putting them on didn’t do much for helping him see in the dark, at least not in night vision terms, but it did make a few objects in the room sharpen. The city lights from outside the window gave him just enough light to see the hazy outline of the door and dresser.

Frowning, Edward cocked his head and listened intently. No rustling, only the deep even breaths of the man still asleep beside him. Glancing down at Jonathan, Edward smiled. He was extremely lucky to be with someone like Jonathan even if they had their ups and downs, but then again, what couple didn’t? They made things work, and they were happy. That’s all that mattered.

Edward couldn’t believe how beautiful Jonathan was when he was asleep, though he’d never tell Jonathan. The man had a dislike of being called anything along the lines of “cute” or “beautiful” (calling him handsome was even pushing things some days). But in these quiet nights when Edward woke up in the middle of the night when Jonathan was still asleep... Well, he could call Jonathan anything he wanted then, at least to himself.

Taking his glasses off, Edward reaches over to put them on his nightstand, convinced that whatever sound had woken him up was just a figment of his imagination (or perhaps something he misheard) when it happened again. Pausing, he slowly replaced his glasses and slid out of bed, flinching slightly as his bare feet hit the cold wooden floor.

Shuffling over cautiously towards the noise, he froze when he saw something dart across the floor and under the dresser.

Oh hell no.

Edward silently prayed that whatever that’d been wasn’t what he thought it was. He’d lose it if a mouse had gotten into the apartment. There was no reason for one to be there. Edward made sure of that, always making sure the whole apartment was spotless from top to bottom (minus the basement since that was Jonathan’s lab and Edward was only allowed down there on very rare occasions).

Swallowing hard, he tiptoed over to the bag and swiftly picked it up. Peeking into it, he frowned before angling it closer to the window to get a better look. Upon seeing the contents of the bag easier, Edward made an indignant sound in the back of his throat.

The damn mouse had chewed a hole in the bottom of his to-go bag of curly fries.

The first insult was that there was a mouse in the apartment. The second one being it was eating his food. Granted, Edward probably shouldn’t have left food that should’ve gone in the refrigerator on the floor of the bedroom, but in his defense he’d gotten home late. He was exhausted and didn’t think much of it being a problem to leave the bag on the floor before flopping into bed and passing out.

Hesitantly, he reached into the bag and fished around for a fry, and cringed as he touched one. They were cold and stale now, and most certainly not safe to eat. A whole good bag of fries wasted all because of a mouse and his own exhausted laziness that caused them to get ruined in the first place.

Letting out a huff, Edward took a moment to glare at nothing in particular before he started to think about what he was going to do about this new rodent problem. They didn’t have any mouse traps in the apartment due to Edward’s now false assumption that they wouldn’t get mice, so that wasn’t an option. He could just leave things until the morning but the long he thought about a mouse hanging around the more nauseated he became. No, this had to be dealt with as soon as possible.

He considered the bag in his hands. The fries were ruined now, perhaps he could put them to use if the mouse was so intent on eating them.

Setting the bag back down on the floor, he situated it it rested on its side, ready to be hopefully reviving the mouse. He was going to catch this thing, even if it took the rest of the night. Edward glanced longingly at the bed, wishing he could allow himself to forget about the mouse and cuddle Jonathan under the warm blankets instead of sitting on the cold floor waiting for a mouse to fall into his makeshift trap. Alas, he was stuck on the floor until he caught the damn thing.

Sitting as still as he could, Edward waited patiently for the mouse to make another appearance. The minute stretched on and Edward once again found himself wondering if there even had been a mouse despite the evidence placed before him. He stiffened when he saw a small lump move across the floor.

There it was.

Holding his breath Edward watched the mouse scurry across the floor, growing ever closer to the open bag. Soon the rustling of the bag started up again and Edward lunged forward, intent of catching it. He cursed silently as he missed it, being too slow.

Relaxing again, Edward took up his position and waited for another chance. It took a several tries over the span of an hour before Edward caught the mouse, and when he had it successfully trapped in the bag, he celebrated silently. His back and ass hurt from sitting hunched over on the floor for so long, but now that the mouse was captured he could fall into the sweet comfort of the bed, and then sleep.

Standing up, he kept a tight grip on the bag before stretching. He felt the bag move and being curious, Edward opened it slightly, intending to get a peek at the nasty rodent that’d woken him up and tried to eat his food. That however proved to be a mistake.

Edward let out a shriek of surprise as the mouse launched itself towards the opening of the bag, and by proxy Edward’s face. Tripping backwards in surprise, Edward shrieked again as he felt the mouse run over his hand before it jumped to the ground and ran under the bed.

While Jonathan has slept though the rustling sounds, he most certainly woke up due to Edward’s shrieking. He bolted up and was half out of bed before he even processed himself doing so.

“What’reya yelling about?” Jonathan asked, his accent more pronounced than normal in his groggy state. “No point ‘n yelling to wake me up...”

“There’s a mouse!” Edward said shrilly, scrambling over to Jonathan, abandoning the bag of fries that’d spilled over the floor when he’d dropped it. “I woke up to hearing it and it was eating my food Jon, my food that I’d bought and paid for. It ate it!”

Jonathan rubbed his eyes and yawned before letting out a sigh. “So you screamed over a mouse? Honestly Edward, why didn’t you just leave it until the morning? Put the food away and left it at that, why was it on the floor to begin with?”

His voice regained its normalcy as he continued talking, being more awake now. He sat on the bed and turned on the lamp sitting on his bedside table that was stacked with books.

“Because!!” Edward said, blinking as the light assaulted his eyes. “It was a mouse Jon. A mouse! In the apartment! In our room and it was eating my food.”

“As you keep saying...” Jonathan reached over and picked his glasses up off the nightstand before putting them on. “Honestly Edward, it’s just a mouse. If anything it’s more afraid of you than you are of it, unless...” Hs quirked an eyebrow, leaving his comment open ended as he looked at Edward.

“It’s not just a mouse Jon!” Edward stared at Jonathan, why wasn’t he getting all worked up too?

“And I’m not afraid of it,” Edward hastily added. “It startled me, and I don’t want it in the apartment, that’s all. It’s a matter of cleanliness.”

Jonathan grunted and took his glasses off, setting them back on his nightstand before turning off the lamp and settling back down onto the bed.

“What are you doing?” Edward gawked at Jonathan.

“I’m going back to sleep,” Jonathan said, rolling over so he was facing away from Edward. “I suggest you do as well. There’s no point in losing sleep over it, and it’s probably not going to cause much more trouble tonight. We can decide what to do about it in the morning.”

“B-But... it’s a mouse...” Edward frowned.

“Come back to bed,” Jonathan said, “we’ll deal with the mouse in the morning, I promise.”

“But...”

“Edward,” Jonathan said sharply, causing Edward to flinch slightly before slumping his shoulders in defeat.

“Fine...” Edward pouted as he slunk back over to his side of the bed and laid down. In the morning, help kept telling himself. They’d deal with it in the morning.

[wtfgaylittlezooid]

Cutely rotates mer au rogues in my head

[gayestnerdsinfiction]

here are some oneshot ideas and u tell me if any of these are worth writing

some kind of race based character study for Jon

Ed cutting Jon’s hair

medication related sexual dysfunction

First time in Arkham

Pets

another gender based character study

[raeofalbion]

Scriddler sharing a bath

Nonsexual Acts of Intimacy Prompt - Prompt Status: Accepting

Eeeeeey. I got your back, friend. This is so fluffy, it’s probably OOC but oh well. I hope you enjoy.

In the days that followed, even Edward’s perfect memory would fail to explain how they’d both gotten into the tub. Jonathan had taken one look at the shimmery green, bathbomb-infused water and had declared he wasn’t doing this. Edward had leapt between him and the door, trying to assure Jon that everything would be fine and it wouldn’t take long. Then everything got a bit fuzzy. Somehow they’d both found themselves, mostly undressed, sitting in the bath with Edward’s calves bracing Jonathan’s thighs so the former psychiatrist couldn’t get up without Edward clinging to him. Eventually, Jonathan stopped struggling.

“This is unnecessary, Edward,” Jon complained, accent leaking thickly into his voice at his displeasure. Something about his posture reminded Edward of an angry cat: long legs sprawled before him, back and neck tense, and palms braced against the tub as though he was about to propel himself out of the depths at a moment’s thought. Edward suspected he was scowling at the tiled wall.

“You’re the doctor, Jon; tell me: when is it unnecessary to keep injuries clean?” he replied tartly, reaching for a washcloth. At the last second, he reached for a different, softer, one—embroidered pumpkins probably wouldn’t feel too good against bruises and stitches.

Jonathan started to reply and broke off with an annoyed click of his tongue.

Grinning smugly to himself at his victory, Edward dragged the cloth through the bathwater, rang out a portion of the water, and began carefully dabbing at the lines of stitches across Jonathan’s back. They were healing well. He’d been…concerned. Throwing himself backwards through a window to escape Batman wasn’t what Edward considered one of Jon’s brighter ideas—it had worked, but finding his (boyfriend?) occasional partner bleeding horrifically in an alley was not one of Edward’s favourite things. It was more accurate to say he hated it.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” he heard Jon drawl, jolting him back to reality. As Edward watched, he leaned forward and pulled off his sock before dropping it on the bathroom floor. Edward couldn’t help but cringe in horror as the sopping article hit the tiled floor with a wet thwap!

“You need to take better care of yourself,” Edward finally replied, resting the washcloth across his knee before turning to collect a couple bottles from the shower caddy. He nearly dropped them as he turned back, discovering that Jonathan had twisted around just enough to look at him.

“If I took care of myself, what would that give you to fuss over?”

Edward stared blankly at him as though that would help him figure out if Jon was being serious or not. “I…you can’t…teasing me isn’t going to make me let you out, Jonathan.” He flicked the damp cloth at him, showering them both with a mist of water droplets. “If I have to suffer through sitting here in wet underwear, you can endure a forced bath.”

“What if I tried flattery next?”

“Appeals to my ego will get you nowhere, for I have none!”

“Force, then.”

Before Edward could ask what he was talking about, there was a splash and a small wave of water crashed into his face, leaving him spluttering. He dropped the soap bottles to push dripping auburn hair from his eyes. “Jonathan.”

“Edward, wait—”

But the water war had already begun.

In hindsight, they should have taken a shower.

[anxietylord]

If you ever thought to yourself “Wow I wish someone would write a disgustingly self-indulgent Scriddler lovers’ quarrel oneshot that’s so mushy they wouldn’t even serve it for breakfast in an old folks home”, boy do I have some great news for you.

[stryshttu]

hello i wrote an arkhamverse scriddler oneshot based on this

TAGS AND SNEAK PEEK:

[themightycancerian]

I decided to write a little drabble about the Scriddler Headcanon I posted sometime ago. Just a little oneshot, nothing too much. Hope you enjoy!

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

your best american girl

by corvus_inc

Batman Oneshots collection. Including but not limited to: scriddler fake dating, bruce smoking so much weed, and gay people doing gay people things

the title is a mitski reference because i have lots of feelings about writing these characters to mitski songs.

Words: 666, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Multi

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Jonathan Crane, Edward Nygma, Original Non-Binary Character

Relationships: Jonathan Crane/Original Character(s), Bruce Wayne/Original Character(s), Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma, One Sided Edward Nygma/Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: One-Shots, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Road Trips, Eddie Nygma's Inability To Shut The Fuck Up, cursing, Recreational Drug Use, maybe ill do something with these one day who knows, poorly written accents, there is also a short Query cameo but not enough to tag her, Nonbinary Edward Nygma, Southern Jonathan Crane, Nonbinary Jonathan Crane, Trans Jonathan Crane, Bruce Wayne is Matches Malone, Autistic Bruce Wayne, Autistic Original Character, Autistic Jonathan Crane, Autistic Edward Nygma, Author is trans and autistic can you tell lmao, edward nygmas self esteem issues, Harley Quinn and Jonathan Crane are friends, Mentioned Jervis Tetch, poorly written southern accents, please dont be mean to the author i have horrific rsd i cannot take criticism healthily, no beta we die like literally the entire batfamily, They/Them Pronouns for Eddie Nygma, They/Them Pronouns for Jonathan Crane, He/They/She Pronouns for Bruce Wayne, Jonathan Crane has Marfans Syndrome, Jonathan Crane has D.I.D., Jonathan Crane and Scarecrow are Different People, sex reference but, No Smut, as of right now, i know i am forgetting tags so just tell me if im forgetting something important

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/38675334

[darkpurpledawn]

I read an ungodly amount of Batman fanfic. Here are my favorite fics completed in January-March 2023 from A to Z!

burn it to ashes by distortopia

An absolutely scorching batjokes fic based on the Deadly Duo comic that uses the (canonical!) gimp mask for all it's worth =))

Grudge Match by frickityfrac

You'll ever be able to think of Dick Grayson and the Joker the same way again--a pairing that seems like it shouldn't work but becomes both plausible and hilarious in this masterpiece

i violated professional boundaries (and all i got was this stupid tee shirt) by paprikaflakes

An ~immensely~ fun Scriddler fic in which every line is better than the last

Let It Slide by finnieston-crane

Incredibly true-to-characrer Batman Unburied Riddler/reader smut oneshot

the quiet noise by littlearrows

Batman's in surgery and Jim Gordon and Superman sit with a distraught but stoic Robin in the hospital waiting room. Really lovely outside pov on baby Dick Grayson

[acapelladitty]

Ditty Fic Masterlist 💞

Whole Day Off (Scarecrow/Reader)

Whole Day Off (Tumblr Masterpost)

Gotham Rogues Kink Series

Paul Dano Riddler (Tumblr Masterpost)

Price Of A Blind Eye (The Batman 2022)

Dream Somehow (The Sandman)

Mouth (Karl Heisenberg/Reader longfic)

Birds of Gay (Roman Sionis/Victor Zsasz)

Total Cants (The Boys)

Kinktober 2023

Kinktober 2024

Fallout (2024) (Tumblr Masterpost)

Soulsborne Games

Research & Development (Doc Ock/Reader)

Puzzles and Phobias (Scriddler longfic)

PoisonQuinn (Harley/Ivy)

My Shiny Teeth and Me (Venom/Eddie)

Hannibal Oneshots (Hannigram)

Devil May Cry Oneshots

Gotham Rogues Oneshots

Scriddler Shenanigans

[lfthinkerwrites]

Endgame

Title: Endgame

Fandom: Batman

Rating: PG for some mentioned, but not explicit nastiness courtesy of one Joker.

Pairing: Scriddler, Harley/Ivy and BatCat mentioned.

Summary: Nothing lasts forever. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Notes: I have two main ‘verses’ I write. One is PI verse and the other is my Oneshot verse, where most of my Scriddler stuff is set. This won’t be the last Scriddler oneshot I do by a long shot, but it is how I see their story ending.  You can also consider this a happier antidote to what’s coming in PI verse...

On some level, Edward always knew he and the rest of the Rogues gallery were operating on borrowed time. 

Life in Gotham, as a civilian, crime fighter or rogue, was a delicate balancing act. There was an unspoken understanding that there was only so far the game could go, only so many lines the players could cross before game over. 

One day, everything finally fell apart. One day, the Joker went too far.

Edward always knew the clown would ruin it, somehow. 

Joker had, in his infinite ‘wisdom’, decided to make Gotham over in his own vision. To that effect, he had poisoned Gotham’s water supply with his venom. Hundreds of people had been hospitalized, including Commissioner Gordon. Edward wasn’t sure how many had died. In the ensuing scuffle with Batman and his foes, the youngest Robin had fallen ill as well.

Even after seeing his own son in the grips of Joker venom, Batman still would not kill the clown. Batman would never take a life, not even Joker’s.

Batman wouldn’t. The boy’s mother was another story entirely.

A week after the Joker had been taken into custody, he’d been taken from the Asylum by the League of Assassins. What exactly happened after that would remain unknown, but Joker’s mutilated body had been found hanging in front of City Hall the following morning. A clear message to the rest of the Rogues.

In his own way, Joker had been a stabilizing force in Gotham City. As long as he lived, the mob bosses would only go so far to antagonize the Rogues, while the Rogues’ ability to team up together was tempered by the desire to keep Joker out of their schemes. Now that the clown was irrevocably gone, chaos ensued.

Joker would have enjoyed that too, the bastard.

Falcone, Maroni and the few other mob heads still active in Gotham City saw an opportunity to reclaim what they’d lost when the age of the Rogues had begun. They’d entered into an alliance to forcibly take over Joker’s old territory. A group of Rogues, headed up by Dent, were mobilizing to fight back. Factor in the dozens of jumped up thugs who were left unemployed by Joker’s demise and the city was spiraling into anarchy. Some of his fellow criminals saw an opportunity. Edward, always three steps ahead of everyone else, saw the writing on the wall.

As tempting as the thought of clawing his way to the top of heap in Gotham’s Underworld was, Edward was rational. He was forty now. He wasn’t getting any younger. While he wasn’t a shrinking violet, the amount of violence he was witnessing was making the prospect of getting involved in this war very unappealing. And truth be told, he’d been active for nearly twenty years. He’d had a good run. Perhaps it was time to consider a graceful retirement.

“You’re absolutely certain about this Edward?”

Edward nodded and took another sip of his drink. “I’ve considered every possible scenario Oswald. This is the only option I have that leaves my freedom and wealth intact.”

Oswald didn’t look convinced. “Surely, people have made you offers.”

“Of course,” Edward snorted. “Falcone offered me a permanent position in his organization if I helped them. Dent was more honest at least. He said, I could join with them, or I had the choice between being shot or being run over by a truck. I never did care for taking orders from anyone.”

“No you certainly haven’t.” Oswald agreed, puffing at his cigarette. “You know, there is another option. As you know, I’m staying out of this petty squabble.”

Edward knew. Oswald was a smart man. He knew that no matter which side ‘won’, it would be a Pyrrhic victory at best. Losses would be sustained on both sides, and Batman and his cronies could be counted on to deal with the winners. And when both sides were taken care of, it would be Oswald Cobblepot ruling over the remains. “I could easily offer you a position Edward.”

Edward shook his head. “Thank you, but no. To tell the truth Oswald, I’m not enjoying the game much anymore. I haven’t since before the Joker got what he so richly deserved, but now...”he sighed. “I’m tired. I’m ready to move on.”

“And what does Crane intend to do?”

Edward fiddled with his ring finger. The gold band he wore under his glove had never felt heavier than it did now. “I...we haven’t discussed it yet.”

Oswald mercifully said nothing about that. “Well. I don’t agree with your decision, but I respect it.” Oswald held out his hand. “My door is always open to you my friend.”

Edward shook his hand. “Until the next lifetime Oswald.”

“So it’s true? You’re leaving Gotham?”

“Are you going to try to talk me out of it Selina?”

Selina shook her head. “No. Honestly Eddie, I’m relieved. This city...sometimes I wonder why I’m still here.”

Edward thought a certain masked vigilante had something to do with that, but didn’t say anything. “Harley’s not still in town, is she?” Harley had left Joker for good years ago, but Edward didn’t think Talia al Ghul would ignore her past association with him.

“No,” Selina answered. “She and Ivy left last night. Said they were going to South America for a bit. So, where are you and Jonathan going to go?”

Edward fiddled with his ring finger. “I don’t know. I...I don’t know that Jonathan’s coming with me.”

Selina looked shocked. “Jonathan’s not seriously going to join in this mess, is he?”

“I..we haven’t talked about it.”

Selina slapped her palm against her forehead. “Eddie! He’s your husband! How have you not talked about this?”

“He’s been shut up in his basement since we heard about what happened to Joker!” Edward snapped. “He hasn’t talked to me!” Edward could and should insist. But there was a part of him that felt that if he did, then Jonathan would want to stay. The longer he out it off, the longer they could stay together.

Selina sighed. “Ok. This might be the last time I see you for awhile. I don’t want to spend it fighting. But you will talk to him.”

Edward rolled his eyes. “Yes Selina.”

Selina nodded. “Good boy.” She paused. “You’ll need to go soon,” she said seriously. “Batman thinks that things are going to start getting bad in the next few days. He’ll be so busy trying to help contain it that if you and Jon take off and lay low, he won’t come looking for you.”

Edward nodded. “Right. Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid like trying to be a hero.”

Selina laughed. “Who me? Please.” Selina got up out of her chair and hugged Edward then. “Don’t completely disappear. I’d like to stay in touch with you.”

Edward returned her hug and pretended his eyes weren’t welling up a bit. “I won’t. Stay safe Lina.”

Two days later and all of the necessary arrangements were made. Edward had moved his money into an offshore account, barring a few thousand in cash, he’d sent Nina and Deirdre the last of his old equipment and he’d let go his last few remaining henchmen. All that was left was to decide where to go. 

And to talk to Jonathan.

Jonathan was sitting on their sofa, reading an old textbook of his. His eyes looked up at Edward as he entered their home. “You’re home late,” he drawled. “What have you been up to?”

Edward fiddled with his ring finger. Now or never. “Jonathan,” he said. “We need to talk.”

Jonathan put his book down and looked Edward straight in the eyes. “Oh?”

Edward wet his lip. “It’s about what’s happening in Gotham.”

“You’re referring to the upcoming war I assume.”

“Yes, yes I am.” Edward took a breath. “I can’t stay here Jon. I’m leaving.”

For a long moment, Jonathan said nothing. His expression was as cold and impassive as ever. “Did you hear me Jonathan?” Edward asked. “I’m leaving!” Surely, Jonathan cared about that. Why wasn’t he reacting?

“I see,” Jonathan answered. “That’s a relief.”

Edward blinked. “It...is?”

Jonathan got up off of the sofa. “Edward,” he said. “Follow me.”

Edward did as he said and followed him down into the basement. What he saw made him audibly gasp. Jonathan’s basement was almost completely bare. All of Jonathan’s papers were packed into boxes on the floor, his chemicals were stored away and his desk was cleared off. Nightmare sat in his cage, observing the two men.

“This is what you were doing?” Edward asked. 

“Yes,” Jonathan answered. “I’m fifty years old Edward. I’m getting too old for this nonsense.”

“But-what about your research?”

“I’ve spent over twenty years collecting data. That should be more than sufficient. If more is required, I don’t need to be in Gotham to do it.”

“And just when were you going to tell me about this!?”

“Tonight. I wasn’t sure what you were intending to do. If you had said you wanted to stay and get involved in this nonsense, I was prepared to sedate you and take off with you.”

Edward’s mouth opened, then shut again. Jonathan took advantage of his silence and grasped his hands. “I married you Edward,” he said softly. “There was no scenario in which I would have ever left you.”

Now tears were freely streaming down Edward’s face. “Jon...” he wrapped his arms around him and Jonathan held him tightly.

“So we’ve ruled out Metropolis, Keystone City, Central City and Star City for obvious reasons. You don’t want to go back down South, which I’m in full agreement on. What about San Diego? The weather’s nice, it’s close to the Mexican border if we need to flee-”

“Too many damn Californians,” Jonathan interrupted. “What about Maine?”

Edward pulled a face. “Maine? Jonathan, the winters there are godawful. You’d freeze to death! What about the Southwest?”

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. “You want to live in a desert?”

“Alright, fair point. What about Boston?”

Jonathan considered this. “I think that would work.”

“Boston it is.”

The next evening, the car was packed. Edward had sent most of their things off to their new address in a Uhaul, leaving only their personal effects and Nightmare, who was cooped up in his carrier. “Nightmare hates that thing,” Jonathan groused.

“Well he’s not flying loose in my car. I spent over $300 getting the seats cleaned the last time.” Edward took one last look at the house. They’d had some good times in that place. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

Edward started the car and began driving along the main road. In no time at all it seemed, they were on the main bridge out of Gotham City. Edward took one last look at the Gotham skyline reflected in the rear view mirror. He’d spent his entire adult life there. Were they doing the right thing? What would they do with themselves?

Edward felt Jonathan’s hand grip his shoulder gently. “We’ll be alright Edward,” he said. “As long as we’re together, we’ll be alright.”

Edward took his eyes off of the rear view mirror and looked at the open road ahead of them. “Of course we will be,” he said. “I am a genius after all.”

Jonathan rolled his eyes. “Of course you are.”

Five years later

“Darlin’ I’m home!” Jonathan called out as he entered their apartment. Thanks to the fake credentials Edward had managed to secure and his own powers of persuasion, Jonathan had managed to get a job teaching psychology at a community college. It might not be as prestigious as Gotham University had been, but it was still satisfying. Jonathan had almost forgotten how much he had genuinely enjoyed teaching. “Edward? You here?”

“I’m in the bedroom!” Edward’s irritated voice called out. Jonathan walked in to find him scowling in front of their mirror. “Look at this!” he complained. “I found another gray hair!”

“It’s a natural part of aging Edward,” Jonathan said, placing his briefcase on their bed. “You should take it gracefully.”

“You’re one to talk,” Edward groused. “You’ve been going gray for the better part of ten years!”

“Beats dying Edward.”

Edward’s face softened a bit. As they had both predicted, the gang war that had erupted in Gotham had more than a few casualties. Sionis, Falcone, Elliott, Walker and Lynns had died outright, Freeze had disappeared and most of the others had been transferred to an out of state facility after the fighting had destroyed Arkham. Still, it wasn’t all bad news. Oswald Cobblepot was the undisputed king of the Gotham Underworld now, defanged as it was. Harvey Dent had apparently finally reformed. Harley and Ivy had visited them in between their travels. Selina kept in contact too, constantly sending them pictures of her daughter, who was now three years old. And of course, Jonathan and Edward were still together. “I suppose we did get a happier ending than we probably deserved, didn’t we Jon?”

Jonathan leaned down and kissed the top of Edward’s head. “I’m not complaining.”

Edward smiled and pulled Jonathan down for a proper kiss. Life was a bit boring at times, but life was good.

What neither man knew was that someone had been watching them. Bruce Wayne had arrived in Boston after receiving a tip that Jonathan was teaching there. He’d been observing them for almost a week now and the worst thing he’d seen them do was bicker over the copy of a Boston Globe. Bruce walked away from where he’d been watching their apartment building and back towards his car. He’d been away from Gotham and his family long enough. He’d keep an ear out for any potential trouble, but as far as he was concerned, there was no need to bring in Edward Nigma and Jonathan Crane.