#screamy basement boy

[frnkiebby]

show me the 1409 frimage pls :3

1409 just for you bby~🎃

(the game)

[banannabethchase]

Going with some 5's on the music ask: 5 and 15!

5:A song that needs to be played LOUD

Ooooh good question!

For songs I think of immediately, I go for Burn the Witch by PVRIS, Tommy Gensis, and Alice Longyu Gao. It's so goddamned good and angry. For a classic loud screamy boi,

DONTTRUSTME by 3oh!3. Like. Come on. Who hasn't screamed, "Tell your boyfriend if he says he's got beef that I'm a vegetarian and I ain't fuckin' scared of him" at the top of their lungs in somebody's basement party at 12am?

And, as I am perpetually somehow both a scene kid and a nostalgia junkie, Fins by Jimmy Buffett.

15:A song that is a cover by another artist.

(I originally was like "I gotta have at least one cool person answer for this" but I don't. All my cover favorites are super dorkmode.)

The not cool Teen Wolf fan answer: Mourning Ritual's cover of Bad Moon Rising by CCR.

The not cool scene kid answer: The Almost's cover of Free Fallin' by Tom Petty.

The way not cool with no qualifiers answer: Groove Coverage's cover of Poison by Alice Cooper. Don't - stop. I saw it on a Drarry fanvid in like 2007 (I SAID DON'T) and loved it.

[shadowofmoths]

hello snips what songs would u recommend to someone who is mostly into rock metal and some electronic rock if they wanted to get into mcr :o

i love you so much for asking this. putting this under a cut because oh my god it’s gonna get so, chaotic,,, you don’t have to read all of it if you don’t want there’s a spotify link at the end. xx

ok i gotta do some googling abt music genres but i’m so excited you asked this question. i also went to go listen to random starset songs to get a feel for what you like and i have a feeling you’re gonna actually enjoy mychem based on this info. ok. ok. um so mychem is actually considered rock, generally ! i think they’re kinda genre-defying no one rly knows what to call them but if we’re getting specific ppl would say post-hardcore punk and/or emo (i saw “emo glam” once which is rly what i would call them if i had to but. anywsys). um i’m an albums person, i’m gonna give you specific songs but i’d say your best starting bets are danger days & three cheers for sweet revenge. black parade is basically a perfect album, but i think you’ll like it better if you already have a sense of if you like the band in general, because it’s mychem at their Most Mychem, arguably. anywsys. danger days is what i’d consider much more rock than post-hardcore/emo, and it’s a concept album (with comics!) that’s basically like what i’d we were a found family in a post apocalyptic desert. for you i’d suggest na na na (na na na na na na na na na) and destroya ! na na na was my first mychem song and it’s sentimental for me :) if you like that, danger days is for you! if it’s not clicking, or you wanna see what else is out there, the songs “thank you for the venom” and “it’s not a fashion statement, it’s a fucking deathwish” from three cheers for sweet revenge are other ones id suggest for you! revenge has a looser concept, of a man who has to kill 1000 evil men to bring back his lost love, so most of the songs are about . death and killing and angst and it’s so good for listening to in the car and just screaming so much. just to give you something from every album, “mama” is i think the obvious choice for black parade. do you have religious guilt? are you transgender? do you want to hear liza minelli guest star on an emo song for no reason? yes. go listen to mama. there’s also conventional weapons , a collection of … 10 singles ? that are much more rock inspired and i think you’d like them but check out boy division. their first album is much more “produced in a basement and very screamy” but i’d sayyyy our lady of sorrows for you! and jusr so you don’t have to worry about parsing all my nonsense, here’s a spotify playlist of all this for you! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0tRvaMXsy5PoCmlpkCBAHb?si=hbyZ7kMhQTO5C_JVFBi9mA

[stellocchia]

This Post tells me that we all want Tommy to adopt every possible mob that shouldn't be adopted and, you know what? Fine!

Here's Tommy getting every single mob he really shouldn't:

It started off easy. Tommy was a big man and he really liked animals, as every big man should. What he didn't like was how unfairly certain types of dogs and horses were treated...

So one day, when a small eight-legged pony approached him just to amicably stare up at him he knew that he wouldn't be able to part from it. Therefore Shroud was now the second official member of the Innit household! Foolish seemed to like him a lot as well, so Tommy didn't really think anything of it.

On another day he found himself being tackled by Baba, the snow horse that he saw near Technoblade's house. Tubbo let out a shriek when seeing this, but Tommy knew that she was just trying to play, so he scratched her ear and brought her home. Clearly, if she ran away it meant she wanted a new owner, so who was he to refuse? He added a little snow enclosure in the basement and made sure to keep Baba cool. Tubbo didn't really approve, but what does Tubbo know anyway?

Then it was the turn of Clementine, a very nice lanky dog that appeared one day in his home and never left. Foolish said that he should have killed her and called her a pest, but Tommy thinks that Foolish is just an asshole. It's not Clem's fault that she's not comfortable with people staring at her! They should learn to respect her boundaries already! So he built another room for her, with a taller roof this time. His house was sure becoming quite popular, huh? Not that it wasn't expected with him being the biggest of men!

And, well, so far no one was too weirded out by it. Sure, they would give Tommy some weird looks, but nothing too bad. In comes the fiery dog. This time Tubbo was very adamant about how: "That's not a dog bossman, that's a fucking blaze!" but since Tommy didn't understand what that meant he elected to ignore it. Couldn't be that important anyway. And Fiery dog was nice! He never shot fireballs at him, only ever using them to turn on the furnaces when asked. He was a nice dog and Tommy really couldn't understand what everyone had against him!

It got worse when he brought back a small slimey horse and a small jumpy horse. Ranboo called them "Slime and Magma Cube" so Tommy assumed the hybrid could speak with them and that those were their names. This time it was Wilbur's turn to come to him in concern. He even apologized for leaving Tommy alone and other shit, apparently assuming that Tommy was bringing all his dogs and horses home as a substitute. He wasn't. They were just nice and people around him misjudged them, so he wanted them to have a family. Not because he could relate to the feeling, just because he was nice like that!

Then it came the turn for the screamy dog. That one was admittedly quite big. So much so that Tommy had to make the biggest nether portal he could manage to bring her home, but it was worth it! He didn't like the name "Ghast" that everyone suggested, so he went for Genevive. He made the biggest glass dome he could for her and Tubbo even helped. Apparently, it was because "You're gonna get yourself killed if I'm not here with all these hostile mobs around" whatever that meant.

Along the way, he also got one of the pillager's horses, who he called Betty, and one of the Nether's ugly horses (who kinda looked like Techno if Techno was a horse, so he called it Better Techno). At that point, people were mostly resigned though. Somehow none of the mobs were aggressive towards Tommy. And, sure, the boy's house was becoming more and more of an eyesore with every expansion, but no one tried to do anything about it because none of the mobs were quite as friendly towards them. That said they were sure that there was nothing Tommy could do at this point to surprise them...

Well, Tommy found a weird dark portal surrounded by blocks he'd never seen. And he jumped in before DreamXD could do anything about it. -why is he like this?

On the other side he found the biggest dog he'd ever seen! It had huge ass wings, cool claws and it breathed out a purple fire that covered the whole ground. Tommy was amazed at her beauty so he told her as much when she lowered down towards him.

"Aren't you the prettiest dog ever? Look at you! You're amazing!" she seemed to like that. So much so that she snuggled up to him for quite a few minutes before lifting him with her mouth and going towards a portal in the center of the pillar. Tommy was sad to leave her behind, so he was ecstatic when she followed him on the other side!

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [FREE THE END]*

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [NEW END]*

Okay, perhaps everyone else wasn't quite as welcoming toward Big Dog as he'd hoped, but Tommy was sure they would warm up to her! And soon they would stop saying stuff like "Tommy that's the Ender Dragon! It's the one thing that could kill us all! Please bring it back where you found it!" and start saying "Wow Tommy, you're the biggest of men and that's the coolest dog I've ever seen" as they should.

[edorazzi]

Once again, it’s the post everyone’s been waiting for! 

This is a followup to the post I made on the first Miraculous “Felix” episode (two and a half years ago! 😱), so if you haven’t already read that one then you might like to! 

This one’s going to follow a very similar format, and as it’s pretty long I’ll put it under a cut. So like before, click through for my complete scene-by-scene reaction to Miraculous Ladybug’s “Gabriel Agreste” episode (feat. Felix) and my thoughts afterwards! 💕

---

Before I get into everything, just a couple of disclaimers:

   1) This post is heavily adapted from much more unhinged and screamy notes - all my reactions are genuine and just a bit more coherently worded. I watched in French, but am taking screencaps from the English dub so I might have some additional commentary!    2) I went on content lockdown between the time this episode aired (Saturday) and when I could watch it (Wednesday). Unfortunately some spoilers were unavoidable but I did go in 99% blind.    3) I was WAY behind on the current season of Miraculous, so as of right now I’m only caught up to Queen Banana and now this one.

That’s the important stuff, let’s get into it!

-

So I really had no idea what I was getting into here. Season 3 was a self-destructive mess (which is why I’m so far behind, I didn’t really want to come back!) but Season 4 has so far been surprisingly good! 

However, it was still a case of weighing  “Season 4 has been pretty respectable and good with its characters” against “Felix Graham de Vanily is a character created as a giant FUCK YOU to longtime fans” so I truly didn’t have a clue what to expect. Felix’s introduction was the lowest point of the Season 3 trainwreck right next to the nonsensical finale, so were they re-introducing him in a bid to fix things or to double down on what they started? 

I wasn’t eager to find out, but in I went anyway. As a longtime Felix fan I have a duty to keep tabs on what my terrible boy is up to.

- Ol’ Gabe’s in the basement soliloquizing to his comatose wife again. I think I made a comment last time about it being no wonder Emilie remained unconscious for this, but I still think it’s for the best because she would MURDER Gabriel for bringing her sister and nephew here to target them on purpose.

- I do love that Gabriel apparently invited Felix here, fully intending to rob him right back. Like has he MET his terrible nephew? Gabe gets regularly dunked on by children and the Miraculous Holders are nice kids; Felix has a thirst for chaos and nothing to lose so good luck. I guarantee Uncle Gabe won’t be getting what he wants out of this.

- AAAAA, IT’S MY BOY. BABY. I’m sure it’ll only go downhill from here but it’s lovely to see Felix again all the same! 

- I like that he’s keeping up with the Ladyblog too, though I really wonder if it’s safe for Alya to be putting out so much public information about the Miraculous. I expect she’ll tone it down now she’s personally involved with Marinette’s secret, but since becoming Rena Rouge you’d think she’d understand the necessity of keeping it quiet. Too much public knowledge is how Miraculous get stolen, you know!!!

- French Felix is interesting. I only ever saw the previous episode in English so this is the first time I’m hearing him! Clearly he sounds exactly like Adrien but I was hoping he’d be softer-spoken, he sounds way too perky for our demure little menace. 

(But going back over this scene in the English dub - while I screencap things - Felix actually sounds really good! It might be a one-off but his voice is pitched significantly lower and calmer; it’s very distinctive from Adrien’s and it wasn’t like that in the previous episode. I really like this change!)

- God, I love how much Amelie loves him. She seems like a massively irresponsible mother - and I’m still concerned about whatever happened with Felix’s dad, which was only briefly touched on in the previous episode - but they really do adore each other. Their little hand touch and the way Felix presses her kiss to his cheek afterwards is the cutest darn thing I’ve ever seen! :’0

- Oh hi Nathalie, thought you were dead.

- Awww, Adrien, sweetheart! He brought her some lunch on a fancy little cart! And then immediately sits down on her bed and starts venting about Gabriel banning his friends from the house again. Nothing comes free in this household.

- Don’t talk to him about Kagami or Chloe, Nathalie. I know you’ve slept through most of this season but things have happened.

- GABRIEL JUST BURSTING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE “GET OUT OF NATHALIE’S ROOM AND LEAVE US ALONE IN HERE”, MY GOD. In the previous Felix episode he was furious at Adrien for thinking they were dating but then he goes and does things like this, what’s the poor boy supposed to think?!

- Do both Agreste men just periodically come into Nathalie’s room unannounced and cry on the edge of her bed? Is this in her job description? :/

- She just shuts Gabriel up with food and a to-do list. This is basically marriage.

Okay, listen. Sidebar for a minute. 

I don’t dislike Zoe. She’s a perfectly fine character and I think she’s an okay addition to the Girl Group at large. However, I in no way believe she was planned before the Season 3 trainwreck and I don’t like that she’s been introduced as a superior version of Chloe - whose obvious redemption arc got trashed halfway through while SOMEONE (Astruc) was on Twitter claiming that bad people can never be redeemed, and that anyone who emotionally relates to Chloe is either naive or evil like her.

I was pretty invested in Queen Bee Chloe, and her sudden regression plus the introduction of Zoe feels like we’re being told “people don’t change!” and having our spicy redeemed bully replaced with a completely bland and inoffensive character who’s a good person right from the start (and gets a Miraculous within two episodes with minimal effort). I do not like it.

ANYWAY.

- It’s nice to see Marc again! They’re reusing a lot of the unique supporting characters this season and I like that a lot, it’s more fun to catch glimpses of Aurore and Wayhem than an endless sea of generic backgrounders. Though why wasn’t Marc involved in the filmmaking episode, isn’t he a talented writer? Is it because that was another of Astruc’s indulgent self-insert stories and the person Marc is based on blocked him on Twitter? Makes you wonder.

- Marinette, your feelings for Adrien are not a secret. We’ve established this. Luka’s akuma established this. Marc may have kept his distance enough to be blissfully unaware, but Nathaniel’s been in the same class for as long as Adrien’s been here. TRUST ME, HE KNOWS. 

- Juleka’s remarkably chill with this new “get Marinette and Adrien together” plan after what happened with Luka, though maybe she truly doesn’t care or even prefers that her bestie not be dating her brother. Hurry and hook her up with Adrien before family dinners get weird again. :/

- Nath and Marc are “romantic comedy specialists”? As in everyone saw them trying to kill each other in the park that one time (during Reverser) and now they’re dating? Because that IS funny, they’re right.

- They wrote a love story about Ladybug and Chat Noir? 1) That’s a surprisingly hetero choice for them, but 2) since Ladybug and Chat Noir are real people, is this like the people who wrote One Direction fanfic when I was in school? Who’s the person who trips in the hall and drops their XY/Prince Ali fanart everywhere, I have to know.

- Ahaha, this Sleeping Beauty parody with Gabriel and Adrien. This is cute as heck actually and really well-drawn, not to mention Adrien being in a flowing dress the whole time which was apparently Nathaniel’s artistic choice. Also it’s nice to see how much Nath’s art has improved since Season 1! I don’t know if that’s intentional or just inconsistent (the same way Marinette’s thought doodles keep changing art style), but he’s really upped his game from those early classroom scribbles and that’s some nice subtle character development when he hasn’t had lot of focus episodes.

- And I was going to say “I don’t think Zoe knows Adrien well enough to joke about his life yet”, but to be absolutely fair it’s likely he comes up in conversation among the girls often enough for her to have picked up on a lot of this stuff already. Zoe may suffer from chronic Mary Sue syndrome but this does make sense, she passes for now.

- Nath really drew Adrien in a princess gown like six times for this flipbook, I’m YELLING.

- CHLOE, WHAT THE HELL. HER BURSTING OUT OF THE CEILING IS LITERALLY THE LAST THING I WAS EXPECTING, THAT’S SO FUNNY. This is what I mean about Zoe being so bland and inoffensive, she hasn’t done a single thing you’d call “entertaining” and yet we get this from our irredeemable villainess. Which sister do YOU think deserves a Miraculous??

- CHLOE’S DOODLES ARE ALSO SO FUNNY. THE RAW EMOTION IN THESE SCRIBBLES. The evil in Marinette’s eyes! Adrien’s fear grimace! Gabriel’s fragile sensibilities!!! And Gabriel holding Adrien protectively like that in the following picture is all I want in the world, even if Adrien has absolutely no clue what’s happening. He’s just tapped out of this whole situation.

- Oh, he put Adrien in a cage forever. Never mind. What happened to that hug?? :(

- OKAY BYE CHLOE. That whole sequence was so funny, oh my god. All the protagonists are being so serious and Chloe just busts in, proclaims her comedically evil plan and busts right out again. I miss her redemption arc but I think I can get through this season if she’s like this; cartoonishly villainous but wildly incompetent. She’s not a hero but I don’t feel I’m being encouraged to HATE her either, you know?

- So tonight is a dinner where Gabriel “invited all his close friends with their children” as in ONLY the friends who have children, or he just invited his close friends and if they have children they’re welcome to bring them? This is an important distinction. Imagine commuting from London to Paris just for dinner like the de Vanilys are apparently doing, couldn’t be me but only because I’m poor and very jealous. :(

- Oh no PLEASE don’t bring Zoe into this. If she’s going to stick to Marinette like glue she could have been Bridgette, get your own plotlines! >:0

- Oh okay, she’s not going because Chloe pitched a fit about it?? Thank goodness, oh my god. I don’t mind Zoe hanging around with the girls but I draw the line at her being a main character when I’m trying to focus on Felix. No offence girl but I’m not here to learn how good and sweet you are compared to your horrible sister, I’m here to see an old man get robbed of his one remaining wedding ring.

- “The Knight” (Marinette) may not have an invitation to “the ball” (Gabriel’s party), but the Knight previously stacked like 15 wheelie bins with the intention of breaking into the Princess’ castle so I don’t think entry will be an issue. 

- They’re going to dress Mari up as a waiter to break into the mansion?? She’s a skinny teenage girl with Ladybug hair! There’s no possible way this can end well, unless Felix is going to catch her out and then lie for her or something but why would he? :/

- I’ve already shared my negative feelings about Zoe, but I do like the performance skills she puts on to act like she fits into her unpleasant family. It’s a nice detail that she has to visibly psyche herself up to be mean to anyone, I’d feel the same! 

- I would also say “just be nice to the staff and they’ll be willing to do more things for you!”, but to be fair (again) it could be this guy’s job on the line. It does make sense for Zoe to act like a brat so he won’t question her - trying to explain that a group of teenagers need him out of the way so they can infiltrate a high-class party and potentially wreck the whole thing isn’t going to get her anywhere.

- I do like Marc hanging out in Marinette’s room. It’s a real change from him physically hiding from her under the stairs at school because she was so intense. You gotta let him come to you, Mari!

- Okay, I get the mustache to hide Mari’s face, but doesn’t it look strange when she’s a 4′11″ schoolgirl?? If the girls won’t be there to see this plan in action then surely Rena Rouge could hide nearby and project a better illusion over her; I understand the responsible use of power and everything but Jem does it! :(

(On writing this up I did remember the five-minute Miraculous timer - and while it would be even funnier if the “waiter” had to make constant quick exits while Alya recharged her kwami and cast fresh illusions, that would mean less focus on Felix and Gabriel so I’m glad they just went with the stick-on mustache!)

- “Close the office. Done!” Oh, you think a shut door will stop Felix if there’s something in there he wants? Where is my boy anyway, I get that he’s just a side character this episode but it’s been ages since we saw him!

- THE FUCK KIND OF EYES WIDE SHUT BULLSHIT IS THIS?? Is Gabriel running a cult? Are they the rich Squid Game patrons? More importantly, are these masks going to be yet another excuse to not show Felix’s face for most of this episode, like in the previous one where he was just Adrien for half of it??

- Oh poor Gorilla, I’m the same with the three different TV remotes my dad programmed. I feel you buddy. But WHAT is happening here? The whole place is on lockdown, there are robot units skittering around instead of real staff, everyone gets fingerprinted and picks up a creepy animal mask? This whole setup feels uncomfortable as hell and how come Adrien isn’t dressed extra-formal like everyone else? 

- Love how this catering lady does not care enough to interrogate this random child in a fake mustache. You can’t scan Marino’s fingerprints though, he’s got a record. :/

- Okay, I love “Marino” grabbing the boxes and insisting he’s THE SUPERIOR MUSCULAR MAN. I’m sure that’s some kind of comment on toxic masculinity but it’s very funny when Mari’s half the size of this lady and trying so hard. :’)

- Why isn’t Chloe dressed up either, by the way? Are the adults having a cult meeting/blood sacrifice and the kids are just going to hang out and have a regular dinner? WHERE is Felix.

- Adrien. Darling. I can buy that you wouldn’t recognise Ladybug but is “Marino” truly enough to fool you?? Is this his Li Shang moment where he spends the rest of the day wondering why he was so attracted to this strange man?

- YESSS, FELIX. BABY BOY. But oooh, did he spot the peacock brooch before Gabriel hid it under his scarf? Does he know what it is or does it just look stealable? 

- What has Gabriel done for Felix that Amelie needs to thank him for? Did he lift the ban on him re-entering Paris or something, because no way there wasn’t any kind of fallout after Felix stole his goddamn wedding ring last visit. I’m amazed Felix had the guts to come back here.

- Oh, does she think Gabe GAVE him the ring?? That’s so funny. AND FELIX’S CUTE LITTLE WAVE LIKE HE’S DARING HIS UNCLE TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT IT. I’d better get another hug between Felix and Adrien by the way, even the previous episode gave me some cute moments and that was almost entirely dedicated to proving how evil Felix was.

- That sneaky, smug look on “Marino’s” face when the catering lady tells her to stay in the kitchen. Is she about to wreck the place just so she gets kicked out-- YES SHE DID EXACTLY THAT, AHAHA.

- AM I GETTING INTERACTION BETWEEN FELIX AND CHLOE?? MY DREAM, OH MY GOD. I remember it was confirmed they knew each other (and Felix thought Chloe was annoying) but we never got anything more than that, GIMME.

- “It’s Fake Adrien!” Did she hear about that?! Who told her. Felix better have heard about Queen Banana to even the playing field of embarrassment.

- Is he instantly pretending to be Adrien just to mess with her? I’m WHEEZING, she doubled back on herself so fast. THEN HE JUST LAUGHS AT HER AND LEAVES. I should turn this off now; like when Adrien hugged Felix in the previous episode this is peak content and it’ll only go downhill from here.

(And rewatching in the English dub - it sounds like Felix’s deeper voice is consistent! In French there was no difference between his tone and Adrien’s so of course Chloe was fooled, but in this scene you can hear it’s Felix. I really appreciate it! :0)

- Hi Kagami!! But WHAT is this dinner. Once again, why is the place on lockdown with everyone being masked and fingerprinted. I hope this is some kind of weird top-secret rich person fashion reveal because it ABSOLUTELY seems like a murder cult right now.

- I like the subtle motion of “Marino” removing the earpiece when the audio feed gets interrupted with that shrill interference, it sounds like it HURTS but she holds it together really well! I have a lot more appreciation for Marinette than I did last season; I feel like everyone’s being written a lot better now and there are more subtle details to appreciate.

- Everyone gets to go upstairs but Felix, huh. He must be sweating bullets, did he actually not get away with stealing the ring and now Gabe’s going to sacrifice him to the cult?? 

- Oh, a private confrontation?? But this is a really sweet look at Felix actually - I’m sure it’ll turn out he’s faking this wide-eyed remorse and gave Gabriel the false ring, but in this moment the guilt over what he did and his pride in the way he’s “fixing” it is very cute. That bright look in his eyes when he hands the “real” ring back to Gabriel and puts on the new one, he’s such a cutie! :’0

- That evil look as Felix left the room though. He definitely gave Gabe a fake.

- But oooh, the way he pauses at the top of the staircase and looks back! Does he know something’s up? We saw Felix notice the peacock brooch earlier but he was also watching Alya’s Ladyblog content, so is he just looking to steal something else and mess with Uncle Gabe (though he had a reason for taking that specific ring, as it was an heirloom Amelie wanted returned to their side of the family) or does he have a hunch Gabriel’s up to something?

- Bro, don’t freak out in Nathalie’s room. Just grab Felix again and tell him you know the ring is a copy. It’s no wonder this man gets dunked on by children every day of the week when he can’t even handle this minor confrontation.

- It’s very interesting for Felix to hide and listen outside the door. Is he trying to overhear whether Gabe believes him about the ring? Also it’s so nice that Adrien’s happy to see Felix, I love that a lot. :’0

- I’m also realising that if Nathalie’s room is directly through that door, there’s no reasonable way Adrien would have been able to get that service cart up there. It’s all stairs!

- “Akumatize him.” That’s cold as hell, Nathalie. Jesus. No nonsense in this bedroom. I like how we’re back to nearly everyone in this house wanting Felix dead, the Agreste mansion is usually so uneventful.

- “He might be feeling negative emotions now, thanks to you, Gabriel.” Except he was NICE to Felix just now. There won’t be any negative emotions if he thinks he got away with it, can this man do nothing right?! WE know Felix overheard Uncle Gabe figuring it out, so he probably knows he’s in trouble - insert the “(chuckles) I’m in danger!” meme except it’s Felix on the stairs outside Nathalie’s room - but neither of the adults know that, right?

(The English dub phrases this as Gabriel being capable of creating negative emotions in Felix from this point onward, which makes more sense. The French subs may be a little wonky.)

- Gabe’s really going to transform right here in Nathalie’s bedroom?? Can he do nothing without his bedridden assistant on hand to approve each step. He didn’t even do the full elaborate Drag Queen Moth transformation, so either he’s REALLY mad at Felix or doesn’t want Nathalie to know how dramatic he is when alone in his lair. :/

- I love that he hasn’t even TRIED to approach Felix and demand the truth about the ring, he just jumps straight to this. Drama queen. Also, Gabriel looking at a perfect copy of himself and lustily whispering “tu est PARFAIT” is something to unpack later. Anyway, let’s see what the kids are doing--  

- I love whatever silent conversation Felix and Kagami are having. I always thought they’d get along great. I also like the little detail of Kagami having a straw in her fancy juice drink but not using it, that’s very her. :)

- Nice to see Adrien got his foosball table back from the void in Sole Crusher! We never did see that being returned. But I’m already curious where Felix is going, I know it’s not really to talk to his mom so is he up to something other than fooling Uncle Gabe with a fake ring? I figured he was just listening in to see if Gabriel bought the lie or not, but then why would he need to go back out there?

- God Adrien sweetie, I’m so sorry. This is awkward as hell. It would have been fine to get left alone with Kagami if you guys hadn’t broken up literally last week. Also I wish Prince Ali and XY were here (and maybe even Lila), we know they have connections with Gabriel and it would be a great excuse to get all the weird rich kids together for once. Even Luka could have come along if Gabriel would let Jagged Stone into his house, I’d love to see Jagged touting him around as his son now they’ve reconciled and he should come see Adrien’s cool room sometime!

- “Marino” getting away with literally anything to “entertain the youth” has me wheezing.

- WTF is going on in this room. This is like a horror movie. I’m so confused about what this party is supposed to be, is this just rich people nonsense?? 

- Also I should at least mention the subplot of Chloe trying to get hold of a phone so she can show Gabriel the video of her classmates planning to set Adrien up with Marinette via fairytale metaphors, but I just didn’t take many notes about it because I’m way more interested in what Felix is doing. Rest assured that Chloe’s here and I’m enjoying her presence.

- I’m absolutely enamoured with this screencap of Felix peeking over the balcony rail. It’s cute as hell and I want it as my wallpaper. But he’s still spying on Gabriel, what for?

- Oooh he got into the office. I SAID a closed door wouldn’t stop him. And it’s heartbreakingly sweet to see him appreciating that portrait of Emilie - maybe it’s just that she looks like his mom, but the previous episode established that Felix and Adrien played together as kids so Felix probably has a lot of nice memories from that time. If he didn’t then surely he wouldn’t have been THAT angry about Adrien “abandoning” him after his dad died, there’s a terrible bitterness there and I get the feeling Felix has been seriously damaged at some point in a way Adrien hasn’t.

- He’s getting kinda close to the secret buttons on that painting--

- OH JESUS FUCK. OH GOD.

- Felix’s recovery time is IMMACULATE. He just brushed that jumpscare right off and turned around all super sweet like “Oh Uncle I want to get to know you! :3″. I would have DIED.

- So Gabriel made a Sentimonster just to ask Felix where the ring was? What if he’d actually told him and/or given up the real one, what would Gabe have done then when his elaborate plan of revenge on a child was already laid out?? He’d be a fool dressed like a peacock in his secretary’s bedroom.

- WHAT? PARDON ME?? FELIX GUESSED HE’S SHADOW MOTH????? I’m sure the Sentimonster clone will “prove” he’s wrong, but YOU’RE TELLING ME FELIX FIGURED IT OUT BEFORE ANYONE ELSE ON THE WHOLE SHOW???

- Startling revelation aside (for now), it’s a VERY bold claim that Gabriel has “the power to destroy (Felix’s) life”. Gotta catch the slippery little bastard first and I don’t think your old man joints are up to it. :)

- LEAVE MY SON ALONE!!!!! What does he MEAN snapping his fingers is enough to get rid of Felix, is he threatening to have him killed?! I’m loving this dramatic framing though, holy shit, this is so intense!!!

(And I didn’t consider this at the time, but when chatting with my friends afterwards they brought up the theory that this could mean Felix - and by extension Adrien - is a Sentimonster, and that’s extremely interesting. I’m not sure I buy into it quite yet, especially when the English dub words this line slightly differently, but it’s a pretty strange and intense threat for Gabriel to make right here...)

- I already saw it coming that Sentimonster!Gabe was to remove suspicion from the real Gabriel, so that’s no surprise (though I hope Felix holds on to this theory, he’s come SO close to the truth and I’ll be devastated if it stops here!), but FELIX REJECTED THE AKUMA??? HOLY SHIT. BRUH. I was expecting anything from “Felix causes an akuma because he’s terrible” to “Felix becomes an akuma because he’s terrible”, but “Gabriel goes out of his way to akumatize Felix and Felix simply does not allow it” was NOT what I anticipated!!!

- Didn’t I draw something like this after Chat Blanc, with Adrien wrapped in a shock blanket and Felix insensitively going “if Papillon tried to akumatize me I simply wouldn’t let him, RIP to Adrien but I’m different”. Is that canon now??

(I did draw that, and already made a joke post about it! UNBELIEVABLE.)

- What was that?! Felix grabs a worryingly-sharp cufflink off his shirt, skids under “Gabriel’s” legs and slashes his trouser cuff with the pin?? Look at my boy GO! The way he books it out of there, instantly blocks the door and starts planning an exit strategy because he’s literally fleeing from Shadow Moth!!! This is so insane, I didn’t expect this episode to go anywhere NEAR this hard!!! >:0

- Nathalie really wants Felix dead, doesn’t she. No empathy, just “akumatize the Sentimonster”.

- OOOOH, THE COLLECTOR IS BACK!!! I MISSED THIS GUY. I’m not naïve enough to be optimistic (they still have a good 5 minutes left to ruin Felix’s character, ample time for him to set Adrien on fire or something) but this episode APPEARS to be getting better and better!

- I love how upset Adrien looks that his dad got akumatized, like this day is not going the way he wanted but he’s not particularly surprised. I also adore Kagami stuffing him in the closet and grabbing a rapier to fight with, she’s the real knight in this fairytale and I appreciate that she still cares about Adrien’s wellbeing even though their friendship has been rough lately! 

- This catering lady running in with a broom!!! It’s kinda fun that akuma are so integrated into Parisian life that regular people are prepared to just grab a weapon at any time. I really like the borderline-mundane reaction to the party host going nutso, like they’ve just gotta hold their own until Ladybug and Chat Noir get here.

- I don’t blame Felix for not getting involved (he’s the target after all, he’s not getting anywhere NEAR his insane possibly-supervillain uncle!), but smart boy for making Collector take out the front doors so he could escape! I’m deeply pleased by how clever and resourceful Felix is, it might be intended as a negative trait but he’s VERY capable in a way we’ve only really seen from the Miraculous heroes so far.

- Ladybug catching Felix in her arms is everything. And are the heroes making boomer jokes about Collector finally catching up with technology? That’s extra funny considering Gabriel engineered this whole thing because he couldn’t approach one (1) child. He’s been dunked on by every toddler he’s fought today!

- Now before catching up with this episode I did see a glimpse of this part with Felix on Chat’s back, but I thought the circumstances of getting here were going to be MUCH more unpleasant and offensive than this. I love the way Felix has been yanked around between the two heroes and neither of them have reacted negatively to him. He seems a little starstruck - he isn’t even smirking! - which is a huge contrast to the way he acted in the previous episode. Maybe I didn’t get a hug between the boys this time but this is just as cute!

- Oooh, alright, so he guessed Gabriel was Shadow Moth but he seems to have no clue about Adrien! I love him immediately going “Oh I don’t know WHY my uncle is after me, he’s so weird and scary :’0″ - I doubt Chat will buy that for a second but this kicked off in such a short amount of time, what the hell did Felix manage to do in 20 minutes to make Uncle Gabe hit the roof??

(And in the English dub it’s really pleasant to hear Felix and Chat talk back and forth here; they sound very similar but no longer identical. I know I’ve commented on this like a hundred times already but it’s a tiny change I appreciate so much!)

- A very bold assumption that Collector’s tablet has a finite storage space! I’m sure the kids are correct because otherwise this fight will never end, but you think Gabriel Agreste wouldn’t equip himself with unlimited Cloud storage?? Though if he locked down his mansion so thoroughly for a party (allegedly NOT a cult gathering) I imagine he’d reject the idea of storing any of his top secret fashion data online. They know this boomer is limited to offline storage only!

- I do like the use of the map with everything disappearing into Collector’s tablet; it draws attention to how many individual assets they have in this one location (especially compared with how barren it was in Season 1!) and it’s cool to see them stripped away piece by piece!

- TRAMPOLINE??

- The building getting zapped out from under the heroes while Ladybug is TRYING to make a plan is so funny. They landed safe - and we’ve seen Chat hit the ground after getting thrown off a skyscraper (during “Lies”) and he was fine! - but neither of them saw it coming! There’s no safe place to perch!!! Also nice “ZAG” numberplate on the catering van, I do appreciate these little details.

- There’s something hilarious about the Lucky Charm plan being to just throw a bunch of plates at Collector until Chat yeets his baton along with them, smacking Collector’s tablet out of his hand and smashing it. It’s so simple compared to some of the ultra-complex plans and really highlights how thoroughly Gabriel’s getting dunked on by children today. :)

- SO WHAT DID THIS ACHIEVE. Gabriel’s playing it nice and graciously returning the fake ring to Felix as if it’s the real thing, after threatening him in his office and trying to kill him? There must be some bigger plan here, he already “proved” he wasn’t Shadow Moth so why go to the effort of pretending he isn’t mad any more, and why treat Felix so carefully if he thinks he’s gotten away with this elaborate cover story? What else does he want from this??

- I also really like the contrast between Sentimonster!Gabriel and Shadow Moth right here; fake Gabe sounds very sincere and apologetic but the cut to Shadow Moth’s precise, deadpan delivery of the same words is terrifying. WHAT is he up to.

- Felix’s lil face when he gets the ring back. Both of them know it’s a fake but is this permission for him to keep the real thing without Uncle Gabe murdering him over it? I didn’t even need another screencap for this part of the scene, I just want everyone to look at our boy.

- The contrast between Sentimonster!Gabriel accepting the protective charm from Ladybug and Shadow Moth speaking through him is CHILLING. Goddamn.

- DUDE, SHADOW MOTH IS TALL. WHAT’S WITH THAT. But OOH, Gabe and Nathalie are going to work on reverse-engineering the protective charms! That’s an interesting possibility; I like the introduction of those to prevent the same akuma being created over and over again but I don’t know if the show’s budget would allow it. Gotta start poking holes in Ladybug’s new Guardian powers.

- I see Felix is still lurking around suspiciously. But oh my god, is THAT why he tore Gabriel’s pants, to see if he was using a body double?? So he doesn’t have definite proof he’s Shadow Moth but he had a hunch from the moment he was targeted with Gabriel still in the room! And even after the whole akuma debacle (which should have “proven” Uncle Gabe’s innocence) Felix still held on to that theory and went back to check the evidence. Oh my god.

- I should think Gabe would be quick to change pants given he’s an elite fashion designer hosting a party full of high-profile guests, he wouldn’t be seen walking around in damaged clothing so this seems like flimsy “evidence”. I won’t put that burden of common sense on Felix though, he’s my baby boy and he’s SMART. :)

- I see Marc keeping his distance while the girls are hugging Marinette for a job well done, he’s not getting too close in case she decides they’re besties again and he has to go back into hiding.

- That’s a nice Mini Menace reference with Marc and Nath’s new comic! But Nath sweetie, WHAT happened to your cool digital art style?? :’0

- What is this, a postscript?? Gabe putting the peacock brooch away in the vault again? I see that stick drawing of him and Adrien in there and it’s very cute, he really does love his son even if you wouldn’t know it sometimes. :’)

- “A little surprise will be waiting for you when you return, my dear nephew...” When he returns? WE’RE SEEING FELIX AGAIN?? I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED, GODDAMN. But I AM very nervous Uncle Gabe’s going to murder him, what does this MEAN--

-

-

WELL. Just like before I can say “THAT WAS AN EPISODE”, but with a completely different tone this time! Obviously I was trying to avoid spoilers to the point of not even knowing whether this episode was good or bad, but I was truly expecting another hearty “fuck you” to PV fans and I’m actually amazed at how they turned this around. I’m going to split my thoughts into two parts:

What do I think of Felix?

If you’re familiar with my posts you probably know how I’ve been straining to embrace Canon!Felix; his introductory episode was a huge middle finger to longtime Miraculous fans and obviously on purpose; the entire thing was a mess going out of its way to prove how unreasonably horrible Felix is and why he should never ever have been in the show - despite his characterisation going against all known concept art, including the original 2DPV where Felix is animated as a shy, reluctant Chat Noir who comes out of his shell around Ladybug.

He did cartoonishly villainous things. All the characters talked about how evil he was. It confused a lot of casual fans who’d never heard of Felix and had no idea why Adrien suddenly had a doppelganger cousin with an entire episode devoted to hating him. They even threw in a moment where he tries to assault Ladybug, because we really NEED to despise him. He also spent half the time just dressed as Adrien (using Adrien’s character model) so we barely got a look at him to begin with. It was an appalling vendetta and made me lose a LOT of respect for the show for a very long time - until literally right now, in fact.

I can quite honestly, unironically say I love this boy. He’s not the same character from before. He’s still a clever little bastard with a quick wit and a habit of sneaking around, but he’s been toned down a LOT. His conflict is solely with Gabriel and he doesn’t do anything to harm other people, also Gabriel fucking STARTED it this time. I love that Adrien enjoys seeing him. I love that the Miraculous heroes are indifferent to him instead of waxing about how evil he was last time they met, and he even has a tiny moment with Ladybug. I love that he gets to roast Chloe a little bit. I love that he and Adrien are now distinctive characters, so for the first time it feels like I’m really seeing and hearing Felix instead of a weird clone. I love his soft moments with his mom and looking at Emilie’s portrait. And most of all I love that he’s suddenly become a very significant character - not just an insulting throwaway. 

What do I think of the plot?

This episode was completely insane, girl help. I didn’t expect a single goddamn thing in here, I thought Felix was going to arrive back at the mansion to cause more problems-on-purpose for poor Adrien! But instead this boy just walks in, identifies Gabriel as Shadow Moth and simply says “No.❤️” to being AKUMATIZED. RIP TO ADRIEN BUT HE ACTUALLY IS DIFFERENT. 

Alya and Chloe have rejected akuma as well - and both were displays of huge inner strength - but one of my friends pointed out that Felix is the first to have done this without ever being akumatized before or wielding a Miraculous. He has no direct experience with magic (that we know of) or how Shadow Moth gets into people’s heads, he just has that much self-control! That’s incredible!!!

I’m also deeply invested in this rivalry between Felix and Gabriel; it’s so much better than watching him go after Adrien for no (coherent) reason. Gabriel is terrifying when Felix gets too close to his secret, and despite his elaborate plan to conceal his identity, Felix actually holds on to his suspicions and fucking figures it out!!! THE FIRST PERSON TO PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER IN THIS ENTIRE SERIES AND IT’S FELIX. The status quo isn’t restored at the end either, Felix actually knows!!! I can’t put into words how mindblowing that is to me - it almost feels like an apology for the way they introduced him.

Actually, yes, that’s what this whole story feels like - a goddamn well-deserved apology while this show is trying to recover from Season 3. Felix returns and there’s only minimal hell raised - the important thing is he stole Ol’ Gabe’s wedding ring and there’s no mention of the frankly fucking ridiculous lengths the previous episode went to. He’s an important character now. He’s clever. He figures something out that completely rocks the status quo and makes Gabriel scarier than he’s ever been. He’s strong in a very significant way which implies he would have been a good Chat Noir in some other life. He’s not a “good person” but he doesn’t have to be in order to bring something interesting - if they’re going to put Felix in the damn show at ALL it should be like this, I think.

-

So there we go, I think! Thank you for coming on this journey with me, I’m astounded to say I actually had a lot of fun and I’m fascinated with where this story is going to go. Roll on the next Felix episode, I think I might have faith in this.

Now where is Bri? 🤔

[abloodymess]

I am a music person. One of my earliest memories is listening to Patti Smith's Horses with my Mom as we washed dishes. The Velvet Underground, weird Jazz, Chicago Blues, 70s Soul, along with all the heavy hitters of classic rock (Stones, The Who, Beatles, Kinks, etc) were always coming out the stereo my entire childhood. As a child my Dad took me to see and meet all sorts of old blues guys, he also used me to sneak back stage, it was a good gimmick and I have fond memories of standing just off stage as Bonnie Raitt was about to take the stage, and her taking a shine to the 7 year old roaming around.

Anyways, I thought this was how all kids experienced music. When we moved and I started a new school (big 4th grade) and I tried to communicate my love of music, kids my own age had no idea what I was talking about. My first sense of a disconnect between myself and my peers of this farm town. Reading Thrasher and watching skateboard videos sure planted the seeds of a whole world of modern music I had not experienced yet.

I did not come online as a modern music fan until 91. My cousin noticed I was getting drawn into metal and hard rock; he took me aside and showed me this new band called Nirvana. He had Bleach and showed me it, "you like this?, they are playing in two weeks in Chicago, want to go?" Not sure how we got my mom to say yes, but my first concert without my folks was seeing Nirvana at the 1200 person club The Metro just before the Teen Spirit video broke. I honestly was kind of scared, but the energy and the feel of the electricity in the room changed me. I knew this is something I wanted to be part of. Are there more bands like this?

91-95 felt like it should have been a lifetime, looking back its crazy how small that window really was. How fast the mainstream was able to pounce on underground bands with really progressive ideals and just decimate them. They either died (literally or financially), went back to the underground, or imploded as the machine found copies of copies that could fit in the box but were easier to deal with. If Nirvana was a Pixies rip-off, I am not sure what you would call Days of the New when they showed up in 97. God bless REM for soldiering on. (I am generalizing here because there was A LOT of music that got marketed as “Girl Music” your Tori Amos, Fiona Apples, Natalie Merchants, all of a sudden this was music for girlfriends and should be separated to the Lilith Fair while “real music” was Creed or something? and I am not even touching Hip-Hop here) There was a moment though in the early/mid 90s where it was perfectly normal to see Cibo Motto on the same stage as Soundgarden, then something changed. 

“Grunge” or whatever you want to call it was hollowed out and the imitators were fizzling out (some great singles in there but very few career groups), there was a push by radio to somehow hybrid cool DJ/Rave culture with rock culture and you got “Electronica” which was kind of soulless, but the good and pioneering electronic groups got a place in the sun. Rock though, it got hyper masculine (and not that Grunge wasn’t, but there was a sincerity and fragility that was removed) and fucking dethatched from any other feeling but anger, anything else was viewed as a weakness, there was no longer a sense of queerness or the feminine. 

By 96 I was out, I wanted nothing to do with what was going on, so I turned inward and got real into early Emo bands and old Goth records, I was a full on punk with metal leanings. Screamy boys and girls who had nothing but “feelings” and sincerity bubbling out of themselves. We formed our bands and locked ourselves in basement across the country with our own shows and did our own thing, ignoring what was going on above ground. A nice deep sub-genre of a sub-genre to keep myself with not having to associate with what I saw as the meatheads taking over. (Again, not that there wasn’t dreadful misogyny, racism, and shitty shit going on where I was). 

When I watched the documentary it was incredibly depressing. I can’t say if the documentary itself was good or bad, but the ideas presented, the where we were at that time and how we got there just kept rolling over and over in my head and how fast it happened from 94-99 a complete sea change happened. I don’t really have any insight to that, but its just staggering to go from waiting for a concert to start and having Food Not Bombs handing out flyers and a few short years later it is Girls Gone Wild getting girls to show their boobs (AND IT WAS THE SAME BAND just 2 years later and a really different fan base and energy). 

Clearly the promoters of Woodstock 99 were at best evil dummies, who after all this time showed zero reflection and just wanted to blame women and Mtv or the bands or anyone but themselves. I do not think the documentary sides with them, but presents that is what these men believe. Honestly if anyone sides with those dudes, get some help. Corporate rock sucks and even the most well meaning bands get put in horrible positions time and time again. I will never understand how Rage Against the Machine is always at the most corporate shit-shows standing there like a bunch of assholes. 

Anyways, sorry, I just needed to vomit out some words about this. I am just glad I wasn’t there, didn’t see myself reflected back, or see any of my friends. 

[iamtheepicemily]

tagged by @endernadra​, ty frend

Rules:

1. Post the rules 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. And tag 11 people

Endernadra’s questions

1. How many books do you own?

TOO MANY. I’ve cleaned out the basement at least a dozen times but I get too nostalgic to donate my precious books ;A; I have a bunch of crates and bins full of books that I read YEARS ago ajkfbfa

2. Favourite song?

oh boy don’t make me choose. I can’t choose my favorite band or even genre. I’m all over the place. The song I’ve liked for the longest is A Team by Ed Sheeran but it’s definitely not my current favorite. idk man, anything by Dodie Clark, Owl City, We the Kings, or Set It Off is my favorite song

3. Favourite book?

oh god I really don’t know I’m bad at these questions im sorry

4. Sign? Aries, Taurus, etc.

Leo. I live off of attention, love me 

also snake for Chinese sign thingy

5. How long have you been in fandoms?

I joined tumblr about a year ago? I think my first actual fandom might have been the Dodie fandom lmao and I only discovered her about a year and a half ago

i’ve been a fangirl all my life tho :’) me and my cousins were cringey af when we were like 8 and wrote bad fanfics together about Fairy Tail and Inuyasha

6. Do you have any pets?

Yeeeee I have two dogs, Oliver and Mason. Oliver is a boofy bichon frise and Mason is a brown Shih-Tsu Poodle Mix. Ye they’re small but they don’t shed so its grEAT.

also i have two turtles, Athena and Ares but I haven’t much to say about them. Athena is constantly hungry and Ares is aggressive af.

7. If you could spend $1000, what would you buy?

I actually... don’t need anything substantial. I’d probably just hold onto it and accidentally spend it all on food cause i hang out with my friends too much

8. Are you into makeup/hair?

nope. i put on wonder pencil (which is like foundation in a pencil, it’s gr8) when there’s an event and ik there’ll be photos. that’s kind of it. i touch my face too much for makeup tbh, id smear it everywhere by accident

also my hair is TOO GODDAMN SLICK for me to do it up. it doesn’t stay in braids nor pony tails very long, much less anything fancy

9. Can you play any instruments? if not, what intrusment would you like to learn?

nope i play vocal chords and not very well. if i could, though, I want to learn ukulele *-* ukuleles are by far my favorite instrument, it’s so goddamn cute and i immediately fall in love when i hear someone play it

10. Do you write fanfiction, or make fanart?

i make fanart !!! i have an art side blog cause i feel weird posting it on my main account :’)

i don’t write fics cause i’m like trAUMATIZED from reading the fics me and my cousins wrote when we were in elementary school. goddamn.

11. Can you speak another language?

Yeeeee except it’s not useful at all. I speak Teo Chew, which is a type of Chinese that noBODY KNOWS ABOUT. NOT EVEN OTHER CHINESE PEOPLE. but it’s fine cause i can freely gossip with my family in teo chew without having to worry that someone will understand us. 

My Questions (I’m gonna answer my own questions cause im extra)

1. Cats or dogs

dogs cause i used to have a cat and he was a goddamn jerk, i’ve never met any jerk-y dogs

2. Do you have any pets?

3. What fandom(s) are you super into rn?

bnha and voltron :’)

4. What fandom(s) do you wish weren’t dead/were more popular? 

oNe PiEcE G O D D A M N

5. What’s your favorite blog on tumblr?

ipxakachi. xeiv is so goddamn cute and kind and talented and I’m tears over them

6. Do you write and/or draw?

7. How do you feel about rain? fog? candy?

ew, ew, and ew

8. What kind of music do you listen to?

iM ALL OVER THE GODDAMN PLACE, I LIKE BOTH SOFT WHISPERY SONGS AND SCREAMY METAL ONES

9. Hows/how were your grades in school?

eh. As and Bs.

10. What shows (esp anime) did you watch as a kid?

ICarly, Inuyasha, Fairy Tail

11. Are you good at math?

n o p e

Optional: What’s your sexuality?

pan/bi cause everyone is lovely and deserving of love

I’ll tag...

@thatsociallyawkwardgirl @fox-fly @celestialanimeworld1 @wakan-nai @acey-poo @rollypollypolnareff @gaysimulator @blogofperseus @angry-mina @thesmallestcinnamonrollofall @uselessvalshit

as always, y’all don’t have to and if you don’t want me to tag you in stuff, just tell me (i dont bite lmao)

[themonologuearchive]

The Little Coochi Snorcher That Could

From: The Vagina Monologues, by Even Ensler

Genre: Dramedy

Topic: Autobiography; Rape; Sexual Healing; Memories

Character: Female; Adult; Southern; Woman of Color

Memory: December 1965, five years old.

My mama tells me in a scary, loud, life-threatening voice to stop scratching my Coochi Snorcher. I become terrified that I’ve scratched it off down there. I do not touch myself again, even in the bath. I am afraid of the water getting in and filling me up so I explode. I put Band-Aids over my Coochi to cover the hole, but they fall off in the water. I imagine a stopper, a bathtub plug up there to prevent things from entering me. I sleep with three pairs of happy heart-patterned cotton underpants underneath my snap-up pajamas. I still want to touch myself sometimes, but I don’t.

Memory: seven years old.

Edgar Montane, who is ten, gets angry at me and punches me with all his might between my legs. It feels like he breaks my entire self. I limp home. I can’t pee. My mama asks me what’s wrong with my Coochi Snorcher, and when I tell her what Edgar did to me she yells at me and says never to let anyone touch me down there again. I try to explain that he didn’t touch it, Mama, he punched it.

Memory: nine years old.

I play on the bed, bouncing and falling, and impale my Coochi Snorcher on the bedpost. I make highpitched screamy noises that come straight from my Coochi Snorcher’s mouth. I get taken to the hospital and they sew it up down there from where it’s been torn apart.

Memory: ten years old.

I’m at my father’s house and he’s having a party upstairs. Everyone’s drinking. I’m playing alone in the basement and I’m trying on my new cotton white bra and panties that my father’s girlfriend gave me. Suddenly my father’s best friend, this big man Alfred, comes up from behind and pulls my new underpants down and sticks his big hard penis into my Coochi Snorcher. I scream. I kick. I try to fight him off, but he already gets it in. My father’s there then and he has a gun and there’s a loud horrible noise and then there’s blood all over Alfred and me, lots of blood. I’m sure my Coochi Snorcher is finally falling out. Alfred is paralyzed for life and my mama doesn’t let me see my father for seven years.

Memory: thirteen years old.

My Coochi Snorcher is a very bad place, a place of pain, nastiness, punching, invasion and blood. It’s a site for mishaps. It’s a bad-luck zone. I imagine a freeway between my legs and I am traveling, going far away from here.

Memory: sixteen years old.

There’s this gorgeous 24-year-old woman in our neighborhood and I stare at her all the time. One day she invites me into her car. She asks me if I like to kiss boys, and I tell her I do not like that. Then she says she wants to show me something, and she leans over and kisses me so softly on the lips with her lips and then puts her tongue in my mouth. Wow. She asks me if I want to come over to her house, and then she kisses me again and tells me to relax, to feel it, to let our tongues feel it. She asks my mama if I can spend the night and my mother’s delighted that such a beautiful, successful woman has taken an interest in me. I’m scared and I can’t wait. Her apartment’s fantastic. She’s got it hooked up. It’s the seventies, the beads, the fluffy pillows, the mood lights. I decide right there that I want to be a secretary like her when I grow up. She makes a vodka for herself and then she asks what I want to drink. I say the same as she’s drinking and she says she doesn’t think my mama would like me drinking vodka. I say she probably wouldn’t like me kissing girls either, and the pretty lady makes me a drink. Then she changes into this chocolate satin teddy. She’s so beautiful. I always thought bulldaggers were ugly. I say “You look great,” and she says “So do you.” I say “But I only have this white cotton bra and underpants.” Then she dresses me, slowly, in another satin teddy. It’s lavender like the first soft days of spring. The alcohol has gone to my head and I’m loose and ready. There’s a picture over her bed of a naked Black woman with a huge Afro. She gently and slowly lays me out on the bed and just our bodies rubbing makes me come. Then she does everything to me and my Coochi Snorcher that I always thought was nasty before, and wow. I’m so hot, so wild. She says, “Your vagina, untouched by man, smells so nice, so fresh, wish I could keep it that way forever.” I get crazy wild and then the phone rings and of course it’s my mama. I’m sure she knows; she catches me at everything. I’m breathing so heavy and I try to act normal when I get on the phone and she asks me, “What’s wrong with you, have you been running?” I say “No, Mama, exercising.” Then she tells the beautiful secretary to make sure I’m not around boys and the lady tells her, “Trust me, there’s no boys around here.” Afterwards the gorgeous lady teaches me everything about my Coochi Snorcher. She makes me play with myself in front of her and she teaches me all the different ways to give myself pleasure. She’s very thorough. She tells me to always know how to give myself pleasure so I’ll never need to rely on a man. In the morning I am worried that I’ve become a butch because I’m so in love with her. She laughs, but I never see her again. I realize later she was my surprising, unexpected and politically incorrect salvation. She transformed my sorry-ass Coochi Snorcher and raised it into a kind of heaven.

[yourbleedingh3art]

songs today

the casualty - cursive - electric guitar, punky breathy moany male singer, good head bopper, lyrical part I like: "night time triggers the land mines, bedroom wounds, lovers like brig-A-diers.. marching 2 by 2.. marching 2 by 2,, a soldier's down flood gates burst" // " ah ah ah ah .. etc" part (3.5/5)

2 headed boy - ajj (cover of neutral milk hotel) - folk punk driven by high tempo banjo strummin, good for camping/hiking, some more male moaning and groaning happening here, lyrical <3s: "2 headed boy there's no reason to grieve the world that u need is wrapped in gold silver sleeves left beneath Christmas trees in the snow" / "de de de de de deeeEee.." part (3.9/5)

unreal is here - Chavez - "what can't be done? your unreal is here now" nice steady background drumline, smooth guitar weaving in and out, build up of energy thru songs, lyrical <3s: "there is nothing to be amazed at.. there are weeks upon years upon days that.. things that can happen.. happen 2 u.. ur unreal is here now" (4/5)

driveway to driveway - super chunk - garage band performing at hs kickback lead singer still in luv w his ex and singing directly to her type'a beat.. "my hand on your heart had been replaced, and I thought it was you that I had chased, driveway to driveway, drunk (...) glad I still have the scrapes to prove" (3.3/5)

hunger strike - temple of the dog - been a favorite for months, soulful, grunge-y/gravelly, gritty, "I don't mind stealin' bread, from the mouths of decadeeenntttt....but I can't feed all the powerless when my cup's already overfilled" // "But I'm goin hungryyyyyyyy (I'm goin hungr-YYYY)" (5/5)

would? - alice in chains - that opening "weeeuuhhhhooooh..." "knooow meee broken by my master.." love this one too love the vocal tone last one was less strongly grunge but this one goes from toe dip to full dive "so I made a big mistake.. try to see it once my waaayyy!!" to me title of song displays self doubt but also a bit of self protection.. kinda digging heels in behavior, like, hey, would you do the fucked up shit I did if u were the fucked up person I am? (4/5)

big empty - stone temple pilots - driving ur drunk alternative girlfriend home w big black raccoon eyes sorta smudging and mascara sorta flaking everywhere, head on window, hole in pants. "conversations killlll.... coversations killl... coversations killll...." (3.5/5)

salad days - minor threat - surfer ass x Christmas gargoyle high energy intro, screamy stompy, total mosh song, hair flopping everywhere, really fun lackadaisical vocals "wishing for the days! when I first wore this suit" (3.7/5)

nearly lost you - screaming trees - i always end up singing along to this song but I low-key hate when it comes on the shuffle.. very loud. lotsa electrical guitar drum intruments all interminglin not in the most pleasant way but still not trying to diss it's just not my favorite I uh appreciate it for what it is "I nearly lost u there" (3/5)

bound for the floor - local h - this one is a cream of the crop song for me recently, great head bopper, build energy, great guitar line "born to be dowwwnnn I think that I've said this b4 No-ow.. born 2 be down, what good is confidence.. and u just don't get it ya keep it copacetic...and u don't.. and u don't.. and u just don't get it ya keep ut copacetic and u learn to accept it you know you're so pathetic" (5/5)

meatpuppets - backwater - drone shot overview of the high school that our 2000s character that lives in the basement goes 2 and this song plays in background type'a beat "hey, I'm blind, good, fine, roll the time, on whose, dime"

tyler - toadies - loaded name for me so and I've never heard this song and its about to play I'm scared y'all... I like it so far dammit the guitar in the background is kinda discordant from the vocals it's a good touch it's another easy to follow head bopper beat w punky vibes I Gotta admit quite like it.. "we will wake up.. we will, yeah, yeah, I wanna be " HALT. HALT. HALT. This song is in reference to Tyler,Texas. and its about someone breaking into a woman's house to r*pe her oh Hell fucking no (0/5)

santa Monica - ever clear Im falling asleep can't even listen to this one wait its good I like it (3.5/5)