#screaming crying throwing up im so tired of this shit but hey at least there's pathetic men

[ganemouchie]

I've assumed artblock is actually never going to leave me (false) so i might as well push through it while drawing, ARTHUR LESTER!!

[1eos]

Hi, just read your post about immigrant mothers ruining their kid's jobs. My mother is not an immigrant but she's asian and she cannot for the life of her be considerate with my previous job situation.

I earned 2k monthIy. It's quite low bc we're poor and I have to use half of my pay to support my family. So I decided to take this remote part time job for savings (not just for me but for the family also) and bc of that I am almost in front of my laptop 24/7. It's a report writing job and usually I would have 2 reports weekly to be submitted within 4 days.

My mother hated that I am always in my room doing work and would get so angry because "I listen to the employers more than her". She would make me do a lot of house chores when she knew I was tired from work just to spite me, saying that in the house I do the least chores???? Yeah bc I have a deadline to catch OMG.

Usually I would plan my week for the reports but then she would make me drive her for errands etc and would guilt trip me if I don't do so. Because of this I would stay up all night trying to finish the report just so that she won't throw a fit. Also, I have 2 other brothers who have a lot of free time but just for gaming, not for chores.....but somehow I'm the bad guy......which also makes me believe all asian mothers are "boy moms" but that's for another day.

The problem about these mothers is not because they don't understand their children. It's because they DO NOT WANT to. Because if they do, it means they have to listen/cater to you; not the other way around. They rather die than doing THAT.

first n foremost i haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate that you're going thru this :(. it's truly thee worst to be sabotaged by a mother its truly so insidious and too many ppl in this day and age think its cute or like something we just have to suffer thru bc hey that lady gave birth to us and helped raise us. like the idea that GIRLS --bc they rarely if ever do this to sons--are literally put on earth to toil and suffer and serve their mothers, brothers, aunties etc until some man comes along and then u serve him w no thought or care for ourselves until we die is sooooooooo pervasive.

like its so sad that in 2024 you have someone purposefully going out of her way to sabotage your hustle :(((((((((((((((((( and i won't do the annoying 'just move out!' bc trust me ik how hard it is to move out right now!!!!!!!!! i will say i hope you maintain the strength and energy to persevere thru the sabotage 😐 you will win. misogyny will not win! m*thers who are mad that their daughters aren't just rolling over to be the family doormat. and its like? you'd think they'd be happy but that post partum jealousy is something else i'll tell you that

i still remember being a kid and my mom waiting until i was totally asleep to force me awake to put two dishes in the dish washer?????? and would be yelling and totally pissed off that im not standing at attention to do the dishes at 11pm 😭😭😭😭😭 bitch i was in literal rem sleep why are u screaming at an unconscious child? just lacking control or excitement in their own lives and take it out on their daughters its fucking sick

bc you're right lolllll its not that they 'dont understand' they deadass do not want to. which is why i don't believe in extending grace for bad mothers in a lot of these situations bc why the hell do i have to put myself in YOUR shoes and suffer disrespect always thinking about YOUR feelings when for the first 18 years you were the ONLY adult??? absolutely bizarre. i hope one day we can stop lighting up mothers for shit they can't control like crying babies or having to breastfeed and clock them for the way theyre cornerstones in keeping the patriarchy alive. and the specific bullshit mothers dole out and get away with it bc society expects total devotion to mothers especially from daughters like i need everyone to wake it up bc there's nooooo reason for a grown ass person to be sabotaging you like that! a lot of us are living in the house with our worst opponents and i hate it!

but bottom line? I AM ROOTING FOR YOU ANONNNN WE WILL MAKE IT OUT OF HERE I PROMMY

[glassartpeasants]

You Look Happier

Shigaraki x F!Reader x Overhaul

Warnings: Angst, toxic relationships, cheating

~~~

You sit on your boyfriends bed as a sigh escapes your lips. It’s been like this for as long as you could remember. You, sitting on the edge of his bed while he sat at his computer utterly ignoring your existence. You knew deep down he loved you, at least that’s what you hoped.

It felt like the same thing over and over and over again. You feel ignored and you go to ask your boyfriend for some time together then he just ends up yelling at you for making him die. It was a process that always repeats itself.

But no matter how much it pissed you off you always stayed. Why because to you, he was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. But you slowly were beginning to think he didn’t feel the same.

“Hey um, Tomura?” You asked as you gently tapped his shoulder which resulted in him slapping your arm away.

“What?” He said in a irritated tone.

“I was just wondering what you wanted for dinner...” You said quietly.

“McDonalds.”

“But, you ate that last night. Can i make you something a bit more healthier at least?” 

“You asked what i wanted and i said McDonalds.”

“Oh o-okay...” You voice sounding like a scolded puppy. You turn away and walk out to your car and turn the key.

~~~

Once you had gotten McDonalds you walk out of the store and go to your car...only to find it’s gone.

“W-what happened to my car?!” You gasped. Looking around to see no trace of it.

“I guess thats what i get for leaving the door unlocked...” You sigh as you felt tears prick against the corners of your eyes.

You begin moving your feet towards you home as tears stream down your face. First your boyfriend ignores you, then was being an asshole and now you’re car was stolen.

~~~

You could see your house from where you stood. After an hour of walking you made it home in no time. You sigh in relief before you felt a gun being pushed against your back.

“Give me all your money or i blow a hole through your damn chest.” More tears was coming out of your eyes.

“I-I dont have any money...it was stolen along with my car...” You’ve been to McDonalds so many times that you know the exact price of your boyfriends favorite food by heart. Thats why you only took some money from your wallet and left the rest in the car.

“Bullshit! You have McDonalds in your hands. I’m gonna say it one more time give me the money or I’ll-AHH!” A liquid hit your back and the feeling of the gun was no more. You turn around and saw a puddle of blood and a man with a plague mask next to it.

“Disgusting honestly-”

“Thank you so much sir!” You cried as you dropped to your knees. you held the fabric of your jeans in your hands as the McDonalds splatter all over the ground.

“Why didn’t you use your quirk? Everyone-”

“I don’t have one. So i guess you could say i was born unlucky.” You laughed trying to stop your tears.

“Quirkless eh? People go after you guys all the time since you have nobody to protect you.”

“I have a boyfriend but..he doesn’t seem to care about making me safe i guess,” You chuckle but your tears keep streaming as you look up at your savior.

“That’s unfortunate.” He looked down at you before scrubbing his arm.

“Not a fan of germs I see?” You smile up at him.

“No.”

“Well i guess im not a fan of germs myself haha..” You get up and look at him smiling even through your tears.

“Ah i see.” You only giggle making him raise an eyebrow before you hear your ringtone that you set for your boyfriend. You laugh nervously before picking up the call and the first thing you were greeted by was yelling.

“Where the hell are you?!” You boyfriend screeched.

“I’m s-sorry. My car got stolen and i had to walk back.” You said facing away from the man that saved you not seeing him furrow his brows.

“Well it’s probably cold now!”

“I’m sorry, I’ll try harder next time...I love yo-” Your boyfriend hung up the phone before you could finish.

“I’m sorry you had to see that sir, it’s best i be going now.” You said grabbing the McDonalds and throwing it away.

“Here.” You turn around and saw him holding a piece of paper. You grab and see a number on it.

“Thank-” You look around and see the once mysterious man disappear. Even if he was gone you couldn’t help the smile on your face. Maybe you would actually have a friend that didn’t ditch you after you got a boyfriend.

~~~

“Hey...I’m back...” You said opening the door to your apartment only to hear rough moaning coming from your you and your boyfriends shared bedroom.

You tip toe towards your room and put your ear towards the door only for a blood consuming sadness washed over you.

“I can’t wait to meet you next week! All this online sex is getting boring.” A feminine voice rang. 

“Yeah just gotta make sure my girlfriend wont suspect anything.” Thats when you lost your shit. You kicked open the door and stomped your feet all the way over to your shitty boyfriend.

“Get.The.Fuck.Out.” You said grabbing him by his collar and yanking him out of his chair and turning his computer off. 

“You look so much happier with her! Go be her boyfriend for all I care! I’m sick and tired of doing everything for you only to be treating like crap. Tell me Shigaraki Tomura, did you ever love me.”

“W-what?”

“YOU FUCKING HEARD ME!” You screamed at him, tears rushing down your eyes and onto the hardwood floor. Making a tiny puddle.

“I did...”

“Then why?” You said as you felt your entire world start to crash around you. 

“...”

“I can’t believe i even wanted to marry you! Have kids with you! I can’t believe i even thought a selfish prick like yourself was capable of love!” Shigaraki’s eyes widened. He was at a lost for words. You wanted to be together forever. You wanted to start a family with him. And now because he was so closed off and refused to believe you truly loved him he ruined it. He was so stubborn and in denial that you truly loved him he destroyed the only person who would have cared for him in his darkest days.

“I’m giving you 2 hours to get your shit and leave. Stay here any later and im calling the cops.” You said before walking out of your bedroom and going to the kitchen.

~~~

2 hours were almost up and Shigaraki had all his stuff packed. Everything he owned was out the door except for a necklace that you had given him for his birthday. It had a picture of you and him in it. He shivered as he remembered the day you took it.

He stepped out of the bedroom and went to go to the front door where he saw you in the kitchen. Tears whelmed up in his eyes before turning around to leave.

“I paid for that locket. Leave it here or destroy it.” He froze in place. Did you really mean it? Couldn’t he have just one memory of a good time you both had?

“You don’t deserve to remember me.” Shigaraki started to shake as he held onto the locket tighter. He held on it like his life depended on it before he felt it slip through his grasp. He turned around only to see you holing the chain in your hand as the locket dangled in front of him.

“Please give it back...” His voice sounding so weak and vulnerable. His heart pounded in his chest before stopping as he saw you throw the locket to the ground and stepping on it making the locket break to the point of no return.

“There I did it for you.” You said before grabbing the back of his shirt and tossing him out of the door and shutting it. Making sure he heard you turning the lock.

~~~

1 year later

Your laughter was music to the mans ears. Ever since he met you on that day where he saved you from being robbed he couldn’t get you out of his mind.

After he heard about your breakup he swooped in and immediately was your shoulder to cry on. He didn’t know what it was about you. You were just his everything after he met you. Pretty much to the point where it annoyed him.

“You jacket looks cleaner today, did you wash it?” Boom there it was. Everything you said and did always made him fall deeper in love. 

“Why I did thank you for noticing, by the way, I have a meeting tomorrow with someone and i was wondering if you would like to accompany me?”

“Of course! I would do anything for you Kai!” You said smiling as you wrapped your fingers in his gloved hand before brushing your cheek into his sleeve.

“You know you look so much happier then you did when i first met you.”

“Well before then I didn’t have you!” You giggle before planting a kiss on his mask making him blush a bit. You never kissed him on his skin only on his mask. Which he greatly appreciated but he did want to feel your lips on his once.

~~~

You and your boyfriend sat on the couch while you heard footsteps coming closer to the door. You scoot closer towards your now boyfriend and intertwined his gloved finger with yours. Making him hold your hand tighter.

“Right this way.”

“Fine whatev-” Silence. There stood your ex boyfriend Tomura Shigaraki. He looked so much different. Your once happy face slowly dropped to a emotionless one. No noise was made as Shigaraki made his way to his seat.

“Now Shigaraki lets talk.”

Overhauls voice meant nothing to him. All he could do was stare at you behind father. And you knew he was staring at you too. He couldn’t believe it. His ex girlfriend, the one who he let get away, was with Overhaul.

What hurt the worse is that while shigaraki was in Overhauls office he noticed all sorts of pictures of you two together. Smiling and happy with one another.

When was the last time you smiled at him like that?

“Shigaraki! Are you even listening?” Overhauls voice dragged him out of his thoughts.

“Yes.”

“Good, now I have a question for you.”

“What?”

“Why are you staring at my girlfriend?”

“Because she looks happier.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“I think you know...” 

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Hello love I just got a idea from the cookies dough where Kai said What I say gos can you do one like were his like I’m the man of the house and you have to listen to me after his s/o dose something he doesn’t like and she gos on a mum rant like almost all mothers and is like no im the man because not only do I put up with your bs but Ipushed 2 annoying but lovable parasites out of my vagina so you show me respect brat you know General angry mum stuff with fluffy ending but If you can’t do it ok

Oh shit angst where parents fight not cool

The moment the room went silent and you and Kai just glared daggers at each other was enough to make shivers to appear in both of your childrens bodied... Kaito was still with his face serious as ever but his tiny muscles and whole body in general were tense and frozen, while Kin just weared that wary look on her golden eyes.

"Kaito, Kin." You said more serious than normal, not daring to look away from your husband threatening eyes "Is better if you two go to another room."

"Agreed." Growled Chisaki, not even blinking as he stared you down.

"But mo-"

"Are you deaf Kaito Chisaki?" Asked bitterly Chisaki, looking at his son with only anger in his eyes, but voice still calm "Out."

"You don't need to talk to him like that." You said sternly, trying not to flinch when he directed his threating golden eyes at you again abruptly.

You made again a signal for your kids to left the room, and thankfully this time both obeyed and left, Kaito looking at the scene one last time before closing the door.

"What's going on here my favorite brats?" Said the elder as he notice the faces of his grandchilds.

"Mommy and Daddy are fighting..." mumbled the four year old girl while her older brother glued his ear in the door.

"Is that so? Is rare seing these two fighting..." spoke in worry now Pops before his ten years old grandson mentioned him to do the same actions he was doing.

"Maybe is better to let your parents be Kaito... why not both of you come with me instead..." hesitantly the kids complied, praying that you two wouldn't get serious with this argument.

~

"Wait wait so I am the wrong here? Seriously?!" You spoke in disbelief as he sighed in annoyance while massaging his temples.

"(Y/N) you don't have any earing or mental problems so I don't have to repeat myself again like a fool."

"Just because I let some of the damn dishes to wash later you doing this?! Ah yeah I forgot! Because apparently I didn't do a good job on cleaning both of OUR kids room is that it?!"

"I could do better in my sleep than that." He growled, oppening his eyes threateningly "You already know what I am and what I wish for."

"Listen. I'm tired of you always complaining about those... those IDIOTS AND USELESS things of yours! I thoughf that whole germophobic thing had at least settled down for once! For God's sake you changed Kaito's and Kin's diaper!"

He never did complained until now, you knew that his anger was just because of a probably a bad day, and you knew that, but you were just surrounded by anger that you didn't think too much on what you were spilling in fact.

"Idiotic? Lets see who is the fucking idiot in here when one of us get sick." He growled "Then who is going to be the one to blame for?! Answers me (Y/N)!" He shouted this time making you flinch.

Chisaki never was one to raise his voice, childhood trauma leaded to that, so you it was a understatement when you got scared at it and lowered a little bit your own tone of voice.

"Hey don't need to raise the tone of voice, Kaito and Kin might be-"

"So what?! Is not like they need to hear how SICK OR CRAZY THEIR FATHER IS or HOW USELESS THEIR MOTHER IS!" He shouted and immediately regretted, getting a deja vuu at saying those disgusting words himself directly to his dear loved wife.

The way you widened your eyes and some tears were stuck on them felt like a shot to his heart.

"Useless..? I'm sorry, could you repeat that again? Chisaki..." you said coldly and bitterly his name while you holded back your tears.

Ah shit. You used his surname... you were pissed.

He knew he had cutted all of your pacience...

"Can you repeat that again to me? Repeat that to the person who loved you to no ends for years already? The person whose you called 'angel' countless times until the current days? The person who always was by your freaking side and hold your crying self when no one else would because you're too FUCKING PRIDEFUL AND ARROGANT to accept that you need help BECAUSE YOU'RE SICK?! THE PERSON WHO PASSED THROUGH HELL TO GIVE YOU TWO LITTLE TREASURES IN YOUR GODAMM DARK LIFE?! I'M THE USELESS THEN CHISAKI?! ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?!" you yelled while some of tears fell to the ground.

Chisaki didn't answer due to his own shock surrounding him... he didn't mean it to let out those words, he sweared to God that he didn't...

He hesitantly extended his hand but you took a step back.

"What happened with the 'no touch'?" You whispered angrily which he only lowered his head.

Both of you stayed silent and frozen until you regained your compusture and went in the direction of the door. You stopped to say something.

"I'm going to take a walk... both of us need to cool down our heads apparently."

He nodded numbly before he heard you closing the door... He dropped on his couch with his hands burried in his dark brow hair in anger at himself, shame and sorrow.

You left the room and breath in slowly to calm yourself as you went towards your shared room.

~

Both of kids were already in bed, and Kai thanked Pops for the help. The elder noticing his boy's discomfort placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling the way he tensed and cringed at the contact.

"Kai, was the fight that bad to let you on this state?" Chisaki merely lifted his eyebrow, giving the answer Pops needed.

"Look my boy, it's normal to have fights with their significant others, but what is not normal is to sleep through it without a damn apology from both of your sides. I could hear (Y/N) and your screams from afar..."

Chisaki still weared that numb expression as he looked down in thought.

"I was the one who fucked up the most honestly..." he mumbled monotonously as he felt Pops's hand leaving his shoulder.

"Then why don't throw that arrogance of yours away and go apologize? Its at least the advice I'm offering you..." he left to his own room.

"Night Kai. Wish a good night for my daughter in law for me, will you?"

He sighed while massaging his temples... That is if you were still accepting to be his wife...

~

He oppened the door slowly and thanked internally that you haven't locked it. He immediately catched your figurine messing around in your cellphone while he noticed that the bedroom was far more organized and clean than usual.

As much as he was pleased with this he felt a knot forming in his stomach, already knowing why exactly you did that...

Your eyes found each other and you immediately looked down at your phone to turn it off and lay on the bed to sleep. While him was still preparing too.

He after layed down and notice you were too far away for his liking.

"You're going to fall from the bed.." he stated while looking at you, who was with closed eyes.

You didn't respond, causing his heart to clench a little.

"(Y/N), I know you're awake..." he said, again with no response.

"... I'm sorry angel." He murmured sadly, surprising you when he got closer and higged you tight.

"I'm sorry... words can't express how regretful I am for saying those words to you... I was completly out of my element and even dared to say something that my... that I once heard... I know an apology can't fiz how hurr you must be now... you can retribuit all the things I did with me if that's mean you will feel better again..." he let go of you and stared at your now open eyes.

You stared for a couple of moments before lifting your hand to caress his jaw, your heart clenching at the way he flinched at first, probably thinking you were going to hit him...

"I own you a apology too... I called you things and yelled as well, even knowing how you hate it... guess we both fuck up."

"Apparently..." he whispered still looking everywhere but your eyes.

You two stay in silent until you took the courage to grab his gloved hand and rub little circles on his palm.

"You're not even a bit useless... you had to atture me for ages now..." he said, breaking the silent "After all... who takes more than two months to show their face to their loved one...? you maybe be right about me being the sick one..."

"You take that back." You squeezed his hand gently, finally getting him to look at you.

"You aren't that, neither I am... we both said things we didn't mean to at the heat of the moment... it's fine." You smiled at him which he only scoffed.

"Why do you do this? Forgive me this easy...? I don't... I don't deserve it such a angel like you... my only worth is-"

"Stop that." You said gently, hugging his torso and burring your face on the crook of his neck, noticing how his muscles fir a second tensed but instantly relaxed.

He slowly bringed one hand to carry your hair while his other arm holded you firmly pressed to him.

"Forgive me my angel?" He whispered in your hair.

"As long as you forgive me too my devil..." you hugged him a little tighter when he muffled pressed a kiss in the too of your head.

"Thank god... no more fights like this... it gives me a sick feeling on my stomach..." he pressed you on the bed as he got up on you staring you down.

"Can you really forgive me that easy?"

"Look what love does to us right my handsome husband." You giggled when he breathlessly chuckled before taking his mask off and started to shower you in kisses. Every part he could reach his lips were pressed on it.

"I still think I own you though." He said nibbling on your ear lobe "So I guess I will."

"... Are you serious?" You asked smilling up at him, seing already his dark lusted look.

"My angel, this is my punishment." He pressed his lips against yours gently but the kiss itself was enough to leave both of you breathless.

"And I'm happy to pay for my sins..."

"Hmm... you were the demon of lust this entire time I knew you then?" You started to laugh at the mortified and disgusted look he gave it to you.

"I am not. How dare you?" He said darkly but offended as well.

Your laughing didn't collaborate for his red face... but he was still trying to contain his own smile growing at seing you happy with him again.

Well, nothing better than a bite to quiet this angel down.

[whileyoursleeping]

a buddie fic, as requested last week! (im sorry this took so long omg work has been absolutely insane)

also yes i’ll take buddie prompts but i’m really terrible at getting around to writing them so if you do request something i’m super sorry if it takes me forever

prompt: Bucks off his blood thinners so they throw a little party since he never got one when he came back something happens like he gets cut by a gift and has to remind everyone except Maddie that he's off his meds finally

-------------------------------

He really should've known a welcome back party was not a good idea.

Not like it was his choice - now that the lawsuit is over and the chill has passed, the family at 118 have welcomed him back with open arms and it's of course Hen's idea to throw him a welcome back party.

If Buck thinks about it the string of unfortunate events otherwise known as his life should've predicted some bad shit happening - first his leg is crushed, then the embolism, then he gets hit by a tsunami... the list is endless. But he's off the blood thinners, which is great, and now he can do everything he used to normally.

He can't help it. He loves his fire family and he loves being included again so when Hen announces it, he's all for it. He's back in the thick of it, with his family, being teased and shoved around playfully - he lives for it, he really does. He loves them. So fucking much.

The only downside is Eddie - things are better, but he's still a little reserved. Buck worries he's done real, lasting damage, and so he refuses to feel needy when he says, "Hey, man. Are you swinging by mine for the party tonight?"

Eddie smiles at him. "Wouldn't miss it."

There's beer and presents and someone has the idea to wrap one of them in a bunch of zip ties, and Buck - who can't find scissors - decides to use a knife to get into it.

A knife that promptly slips and cuts his palm open.

"Buck," Maddie sighs as the whole room goes quiet, in that patented my-little-brother-is-an-idiot voice. "You-"

"Let me see, Buck," Hen says gently, and Buck blinks at the sudden amount of fussing going on. Chimney's running for ice and a towel and Bobby is looking like he's one number away from dialling 911, and Eddie - Eddie's gone bone white which is weird.

"Guys," Buck says, over the sudden shuffle of trained medical professionals launching into action. "Guys, I'm not-"

"Elevate his hand," Hen orders. "Once we've got it wrapped we'll get him to the emergency room."

"But I'm not-" Buck protests.

"Is there a first aid kit around here?" Chimney's asking, and Eddie is taking Buck's hand and raising it above his head.

"Eddie," Buck says. "Eddie, I'm not-"

"Why does anyone let you near knives, Buckaroo?" Hen says, grabbing for a tea towel to press into the wound on his palm.

Buck wants to bask in being called Buckaroo again, but Eddie looks scarily blank, save for the little tic in his jaw that tells Buck he's concentrating. Nobody's listening to him for totally different reasons than they were a while ago, but still, Buck's frustrated that he can't even get a word in edgewise.

"Guys-" he tries again. He attempts pulling his hand away and wow Eddie has a great grip.

"Guys!" Maddie says, loudly, and everyone looks up at her. She nods at Buck.

"I'm not on blood thinners anymore," he explains, a little uncomfortable with the five sets of eyes on him. Normally he'd like it, the attention of the team - of Eddie - but it reminds him a little too much of why they were all cold shouldering him in the first place. "So... you know. It's fine."

He tries for a winning smile. Hen sits back, at least, but Eddie hangs his head and doesn't say anything.

"So we don't have to take you to the emergency room," Chim jokes.

"I think if you do they'll start charging me rent there," he jokes. He's trying to work out why Eddie still has his head down, looks ashamed.

Hen seems to realise what's going on, because she says something about the others helping her with things in the kitchen, and there's a round of agreement. Everyone disappears except Eddie, who at least moves to sit on the coffee table instead of the ground in front of Buck.

"Sorry I didn't tell you," Buck says - he's not sure if this is one of those things that's a big deal and Eddie will be upset over or not. He doesn't want Eddie to be upset, not right after they finally became friends again. "I would've told you, it just didn't seem that important."

"Can I see?" Eddie asks, totally ignoring everything else Buck just said.

Buck blinks, but he holds his hand out. Eddie's gentle as he flips Buck's hand over, palm up, and inspects the cut. It's already mostly stopped bleeding, which is so novel for Buck that even he finds himself staring at it. Or maybe he's staring at it as an excuse to watch Eddie touch him. No one needs to know the reason.

"It reminded me of the tsunami," Eddie says abruptly, finally making eye contact with him. He doesn't let Buck's hand go. "When I found you and Christopher. You had that cut on your arm, it was bleeding everywhere."

Buck has really vague memories of the aftermath of the tsunami. It all goes a little blurry once the team showed up and he collapsed, but he does remember a cut on his arm, how lightheaded he felt. He's not totally sure on how he got to a hospital afterwards either.

"Yeah," Buck says, slowly, trying to figure out the relevance of this to that. "That was uh - I was bleeding pretty bad. But this isn't like that, Eddie. I'm okay."

If he thinks about it, he can remember the throbbing pain in his head, over his eye. How his leg hurt. But mostly he just remembers the water and Chris screaming for him.

"I was more worried about Chris," he admits.

"I know you were." Eddie's still got his hand, but hasn't made a move to clean it or patch it up. "That's why you need someone to worry about you."

"You did though," Buck insists. He won't let Eddie feel bad about this, especially when it was Buck who lost Christopher. "I remember you came and got me at the hospital."

Eddie looks away from him. "Yeah," he says uncomfortably.

They're quiet for a moment. Eddie finally starts cleaning out the wound and Buck thinks back to that night - stumbling out of the emergency room, a fair bit of blood lighter and with rudimentary first-aid having been done, given that there were people hurt a lot worse, wondering how he was going to get home with his car six feet underwater.

And Eddie, in the waiting room, looking exhausted and strung out and who had hugged Buck the moment he saw him. Loaded him into the car, helped him into the house and found him clean clothes so he could shower and sleep.

There were no nightmares that night, because he was too tired and felt safe with both his Diaz boys in the same house.

He'd woken the next morning with Chris piled onto the couch next to him, and Eddie watching them over a mug of coffee in the kitchen. They'd staggered through the day, bone-tired and hardly speaking, and Buck had gone home distinctly feeling like he'd failed both of them.

"I mean," he says, out loud, because Eddie's got that little worry line in his forehead and his mouth is downturned and unhappy, "I lost Chris and you still came and got me-"

"You didn't," Eddie says, almost angry. "God, Buck, I didn't even know anything had happened until I saw you there. It didn't even cross my mind that something had happened because he was with you."

"I know," Buck says guiltily. "I - Eddie, man, I'm... I'm so sorry, if I could take it back-"

Eddie lets go of his hand abruptly, and Buck has a split second to wonder how he keeps making this worse for himself before Eddie's hand wraps around the back of his neck and he's dragged down into a kiss.

He's shocked, for a moment, and then he remembers this is Eddie who's always been there, Eddie who trusts him with Chris, Eddie who doesn't think he's a fuck-up or still Buck 1.0 or anything other than his best friend, and he kisses back, desperately, lunging into Eddie's warmth.

They separate after a moment, and Eddie leans his forehead on Buck's, his eyes closed.

"Buck," he says, softly, "I'm trying to say that I didn't think to worry about Christopher, for once in my life, because he was with you. Because he's safe with you. You're the only place I'm ever sure he's safe, other than me. That hasn't changed, okay? You were there for us when we needed you, and when you needed me I-"

His voice breaks. It's painful to listen to, and Buck shuffles closer, until their noses touch too, and puts his hands on Eddie's shoulders, presses his thumbs into the spaces between Eddie's neck and ears.

"When you needed me I failed you," Eddie croaks. "You were scared about your job and on blood thinners and you needed me and I just - I got angry, because I missed you, and I felt like you'd left like Shannon did, and I didn't even think that it was because you were trying to get back to us. And you still blame yourself. You pulled Chris out of the water, Buck. You. Not me, not abuela, not Pepa, not anyone else from the 118. You."

His eyes are stinging. He feels Eddie's hands on him, stroking him gently, soothing. "Stop," he whispers, and his voice breaks. "You're gonna make me cry, man. It's my welcome back party. I'm not supposed to cry."

Eddie laughs a little, then says, "I'm trying to tell you something, Buck."

"Yeah, I got it, what with the kiss and everything," Buck jokes weakly. "I - Eddie, I'm pretty messed up."

"My wife disappeared, came back, said she was divorcing me, then died," Eddie says. "We're even. I don't mind if you don't."

How could he ever? "So... what now?"

Eddie leans back. Buck feels a little less embarrassed when he sees that Eddie's eyes look a little wet too. "I'm gonna fix your hand," Eddie says. "And then we can tell everyone to stop eavesdropping from the kitchen."

There's a pause, and then Chimney's head peeks around the corner.

"We found scissors," he says sheepishly, and Buck laughs. He doesn't really care if they overhead. In fact, Maddie has that I-knew-it look on her face.

"I told you he didn't hate you," she says, patting him on the head.

He shakes her off playfully. "Not like you've been right before, so-"

"Do you want this present or not?"

"Sorry, Ma'am."

[bow-woahh]

She-Ra season 5 thoughts

A chaotic summary of my feelings/ reactions of each episode! Spoilers. Obviously. 

Episode 1 — Horde Prime

- First of...Adora stop throwing yourself into battle challenge - "You're not She-Ra anymore" — TELL HER SIS - The way Catra was so smug but Glimmer was not having any of it "You're just as alone as I am" if that ain't the truth idk what is - Catra wanting the climb up the ranks? Sis I don't think so let's see how long that lasts - The DINNER pissed me the fuck OFF - Oh yeah here's my obligatory SW FUCK OFF CHALLENGE - Micah, King, glare at her!! Yes!! - The way Scorpia said "Catra thought my singing was annoying" honey - That clone was SO annoying stfu about Prime being omniscient and omnipresent and shit like ugH idC - Bow and Adora are the BROTP - Scorpia stinging Adora to keep her safe - and that's on friendship - The way Prime INSTANTLY called Catra out "Adora means something to you" listen I hate the gay but damn he's smart. He saw right through her act. - "Adora chose her side and I chose mine" that doesn't mean you don't still care Catraaa - Also that was REALLL quick lmaoo the way five seconds she was like "imma climb up the ranks" then in about two secs HP was like "sis I have no use for you" - "What are you going to do to me?" IM CRYING - Adora and those weird flashback PTSD things -- are u okay sis?? - This was the first episode and I already want to cry so....wow

Episode 2 — Launch

- Adora omg she's so fatigued girl S L E E P - Bow getting pissed at everyone for not letting her rest...what a king - Catra disobeying HP and talking back to that clone but then HP took its form...fuck man that shit scary - STOP CALLING HER  LITTLE SISTER CHALLENGE JESUS FUCK - Everyone hates Entrapta wow ouch - Literally Entrapta being horny over robots is hilarious lmaoo - Mermista is a great leader and they worked so well together ahhh! I'm loving Scorpia and Frosta's friendship - Entrapta got the signal!! I'm proud -  Adora stop following holograms and illusions challenge -  Adora being all like "I don't know my destiny anymore but I know I need to save my friend." LIKE YES HONEY -  Glimmer is sO volatile like honey,, did you need to break HP's crystal ball thingy?? DID U?? -  also she knows her dad is alive now and that H U R T S ++ I bet she doesn't know the sword is broken so fuckkl -  Micah as She-Ra?? something I never knew I needed -  SW not being in this episode at all? love that for us - "I reinstate my horray" I LOVE YOU SCORPIA - "Can you stay?" MY FUCKING HEART GLITRA FRIENDSHIP HERE WE COME

Every episode I just feel immense f E AR

Episode 3 — Corridors

- THIS STARTS W BABY CATRA AND ADORA?? NOELLE WHY ARE TRYNA KILL US?? - Catra and Glimmer talking about sleepovers and Adora...damn my heart - Adora and her stupid ponytail 💀 - "I'll never say sorry!" - THE WAY YOUNG CATRA WAS SO JEALOUS EYE— - "There's no one in the entire universe who cares about me." - "Im sorry! For everything." IM SO UPSET WTF -  CATRA IS FUCKED BUT SHE SAVED GLIMMER -  HP GTFO CHALLENGE -  I'm so proud of my baby tho wow... -  What the fuck we gone do now? -  so much happened in this episode so this is a lot shorter because my brain is numb. Catra is gonna get brainwashed?? isn't she?? -  "I want to do that one good thing in my life." IM CRYING Y'ALL

Episode 4 —Stranded

- Adora is like "Catra, Catra?? saved you?? wtaf?” Lmaoo - Bow and Glimmer fighting is hurting my HEART - KYLE HAS A CRUSH ON ROGELIO?? SCORPIA DONE EXPOSED IT AHHH - Swifty tryna contact Adora?? kinda cute - him impersonating everyone was onbrand and kinda funny ngl - The way Adora is like "it's complicated" lmaoo girl everything is w you - I live the star siblings omg yeS - "I have to save someone. Someone I—" omFG ADORA - Adora is S T R O N K - she GLOWED OMFG SHE RA?? IS THAT U?? - BOW AND GLIMMER BEING OKAY?? MAYBE - Etherians really are wilding out here - YESSS THEY JOINING THE REBELLION - "Maybe we'll never be friends like we used to be."  Glimmer...I love her sm - "I can't just leave her there. I have to try." Adora actually cares so much about her!! and I love Glimmer being supportive wow we love a queen! - THE BEST FRIEND SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER!! LETS GOO - "She-Ra is back." Swift Wind is annoying but thank you. thank you for saying that horse.

I literally threw my hoodie across the room and forgot that I did that wow lmao

Episode 5 — Save the Cat

- My friend who's ahead me said wait for episode 5 now I'm fucking S H OO K - this episode name has me shook I can't - its WRITTEN BY NOELLE?? WE'RE FUCKED - I love Wrong Hordak SM what an idiot - Catradora really is gonna be canon wow - WTAF IS THAT SHE IS NOT MY CATRA SHE IS A CLONE her hair tho?? kinda nice - the way HP said "your Catra." like low-key he said gay rights - "You broke my heart. And he has made me whole again." - "We both know I don't matter"  and "you're and idiot" "I know" THESE TWO ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER - SHE JUMPED OFF A CLIFF FOR HER - the way she's holding her?? so soft - SHE RA IS LOOKING FLY -- and is she taller?? - "You miscalculated" YES QUEEN I LOVE HER. THAT WHOLE FIGHT SCENE WAS AMAZING - FuCK HORDEP PRIME - Darla is the best Light Hope SUX - the "Hey, Adora" was SO SOFT IM SO HAPPY

That episode really hiT different Catradora is DEFINITELY canon EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU NOELLE

Episode 6 - Taking Control

- Adora. Chill. - Catra's trauma...wow - honestly I have SO MUCH TO SAY and so little at all. - The ending w Catra joining was so cute and all the Catradora interactions are SENDING ME this is the development I need - "Adora. Stay." MY HEART - thank fuck that chip is gone YAY - Entrapta and Catra making up? Catra saying "Thank you and I'm sorry" her least favourite words -- characters DEVELOPMENT - The way Catra blushed when Adora transformed GIRL YOURE GAY - SHERAS POWER IS TOO MUCH SLAY GIRL - Horde Prime FucK off challenge I hate him - Micah tryna be a father figure? cute - the endING FUCK WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT SPINNERALLA??? POOR NETOSSA

okay but where tf is DT, KYLE, LONNIE AND ROGELIO??

my mum is so tired of me screaming lmaoo

Episode 7 — Perils Of Peekabloo

- Catra just SAT on Adora's lap the PDA is unmatched - We love a filler wow - we literally can't trust anyone this shit sucks - SCORFUMA STANS STAY WINNING - Mermista and Seahawk kinda cute tho (the  heart eyes) - DT I KNEW IT   - CASH KITTEN? EYE—JUST SAY SUGAR MOMMA AND GO - NETOSSA DOESN'T DESERVE THIS - MERMISTA TO - EVERYONE is chipped WTF - DT is a theatre gay through and through   - THEY'RE FUCKED WE'RE FUCKED - NOOOO SCORPIA 😭😭😭 - "I'm the muscle, remember?" - SCORPIA'S POWER, HER REACH, IT'S AMAZING - everything is going downhill FAST - "Happy Anniversary" EYE—😭😭😭😭😭

well that sucked What the fuck we gone do now?

Episode 8 - Shot in the Dark

- The soft smile Catra gave Adora while teasing? love that - loving this new squad - the wAY HER TAIL FLUFFED UP SHES SO SCARED MAN - Wrong Hordak is my main g - the LAUGHING!! THE BLUSHING!! EVERYONE CAN SMELL THE GAY TENSION - omg Catra being the brains of the operation?? yes please - "Catra's first mission" THEY'RE SO OBNOXIOUS I LOVE THEM - "I'm going to kill your friends." "Please don't." we are ASCENDING - Casta? Strike her down anyway please 🙏 - Adora is SO WHIPPED the way she blushed at Catra making the door - "It's such a cute sneeze" BOW KNOWS IT CATRA IS CUTE AND THATS THE TEA - literallyyyy I hate SW GTFO CHALLENGE get OFF my screen 😡 - CATRA WHY DID YOU LUNGE AT THAT THING?? - OMFG MAGICAT?? (Nope dumb bitch) - "I'm coming!" "Hurry." - "I'm sorry. I got angry. It's something I'm working on" ADORA GLOWED AND SAID "You are?" WE LOVE SELF GROWTH AHH - It was Catra's hand OMFG IN THE TRAILER - Adora and cat thing being magic? we love it - MELOG IS SO CUTE and Catra can talk to it?? wowow - they love taking strays lmao - Wrong Hordak's character arc is the best one in the show - CATRA HAS AN IDEA?? YES - Preach Casta shut Weaver up - "That about sums it up, yes." I love them as a team - the hand holding? so cutee Catra don't pretend you're not whipped - oml Glimmer kissing Catra before Adora? EYE— Glitra shippers gonna be so happy at that one moment lmaoo - THEY'RE HOMEEEE

ahhh we're getting close to the end nooo

Episode 9 —An ill Wind

- oh god oh god - Catra is so badass with Melog i LOVE HER EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ANIMAL  - having to fight your own wife? that shit sucks - Erelandia? it's free - omg HP is angry asfff - FROSTA CHILL SHE PUNCHED HER HARD - Adora and Catra are soft 🥺 that's all I have to say

Episode 10 — Return to the Fright Zone

- omg are we gonna see Kyle?? Lonnie? Rogelio?? (also nope, stupid hoe) - okay but Netossa getting screentime? YES PLEASE - I love the intro sm ahhhh - also her knowing everyone's weakness? love that shit - ouch Perfuma ouch didn’t have to go so hard on Catra and YET - omg I forgot Bow's dads existed - "Mostly bad memories" 😔😔😔 - competitive gfs for the win - Catra FLEW tho WOW Scorpia is STRONK - the dad jokes are immaculate - "I'm working is being a better friend. That has to count for something right?" - "We don't throw tanks at our friends" sis you don't give flowers to your them at this current time either - "why did I get stuck with the water Princess?" Catra...baby I love you - omg there's a fail safe THANK FUCK I was legit speechless - "There's real power in love and friendship" preACH IT GIRLIE - SCORPIA FIGHT IT YESSS - legit forgot Spinny and Netossa were fighting lmao oof - FINALLY ANGST OVER THE WIVES ARE BACK - omg THE PAN TO ADORA ABOUT BEING VULNERABLE AHHHH - Perfuma is Catra's therapist that's my headcanon - OMFG I FORGOT ABOUT SW FUCK SHIT CATRA BABY IM SORRY

damn I'm stressed out

Episode 11 — Failsafe

- Weaver STFU challenge - them taking about their abuse? we love to see - "We— I could really use your help" KILL ME NOW THEY'RE TOO MUCH - "Not because I like you" she says SMILING - Melog is Catra's affectionate side prove me wrong - Stan Entrapta for clear skin - SW doesn't deserve rights (as per usual) - DONT TOUCH HER BITCH LITERALLYYYY WHYYY - and now She Ra is glitching?? fuck - Catra is so jumpy eye— "Trust Me" MY HEART SBSBDB - Weaver really called her a DISTURBANCE STFU 💀💀💀 - Entrapta and bird horse ftw what a tag team - OMG NO BE CAREFUL - "Did you just jump in fire to save me?" SHE WAS SO SMUG - can SW burn like... now? - "It's none of your business" LITERALLY BUTT OUT  - "Catra, she distracts you, confuses you." WEAVER I FUCKING HATE YOU SM I FUCKING I WILL PUNCH MY SCREEN - Entrapdak being a thing? I do not know how to feel - "Your imperfections are beautiful."  I am.... conflicted - SW doesn't deserve screen time - Catra is an i no cap (I genuinely have no clue what I meant so sorry about that) - i think the fuck not - this episode is so stressful - Catra saving Adora >>>>>>>>> - what an awful reunion for Glimmer damn - "It doesn't always have to be you!" IKR IT SHOULD BE WEAVER - fuck dark magic fuck it all - Catra's upset?? no my baby 🥺 - this whole episode is just traumatising - Adora's heart do be glowing - Catra's LEAVING?? why?? - "What do you want Adora?" - MY HEART BEEN BROKE SO MANY TIMES I DONT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE 😭😭 - omg this time instead of Adora leaving it's Catra (you are a dumbass DUH) - that H U R T S - ADORA TELL HER YEs QUEEN

omg HEART NEXT???

Episode 12 — Heart Part 1

- I am not prepared for this - Adora...baby I'm so sorry - Glimbow moment with a banjo?? that was cute - Adora really is a party popper - "Adora doesn't want me. Not like I want her." AND THAT'S ON LESBIANISM BUT ALSO FUCKING OUCH  - but really Catra...do you really think Adora doesn't want you? girl are youb B L I N D?? - Wrong Hordak is MY GUY - Stan the rebellion for clear skin - NOOO WHAT THE FUCK MY HEART DON'TPLAY WITH ME LIKE THAT THEY NEARLY KISSED AND IT WAS A FUCKING SIMULATION - real Catra be CAREFUL - "We have to warn Adora" YES SIS WARN YOUR GF  - "I thought I could make my own destiny" U STILL CAN SIS - I'm scared I'm fucking scared - my HEART IS BEATINGG FASTT - I really hate Horde Prime uhhhhhhhgg - for once in your sorry life do something good Weaver jfc - "I can't leave her behind again" - BEST FRIEND SQUAD + MELOG YES - "Bow, I love you." GLIMBOW IS BACK ON AHHH - BUT AT WHAT COST??? (literally what am I saying??) - "You deserve love too." AND THAT'S ON PERIODT - Glimmer coming in clutch!! - Mermista and Seahawk do be cute tho - Micah is actually the worst rn wow - "Goodbye, my oldest enemy" CATRA COME QUICK AHH

the last episode....I'm not ready to say goodbye

Episode 13 — Heart Part 2

- ofc this is written by Noelle - "Hey, Adora" MY HEART - "I'll catch up okay? Get to the heart." - SW ACTUALLY DIED?? THANK YOU MY GIRLS CAN HEAL NOW

andd that's as far as I got before freaking the fuck out with everything that was happening onscreen but THE CATRADORA KISS WAS EVERYTHING and the ending was perfect 🥺💖

—

Thank you Crew-Ra, Noelle for making such a beautiful and heartwarming show, this will be remembered for years to come because what this show did was incredible and unlike anything I've ever watched.

[naptoons]

Story Of Us-Joel Pimentel

Warnings: sexual content, alcohol reference, mild language.

Theme: Smut

A/N: this was requested by @cncogirl18 , I hope this is good enough for you and I hope it isn’t cringe asf cause I’m lowkey bad at writing imagines. And it’s first pov, just for you bby. And also google translated Spanish, it ain’t my first language but I’m learning slowly. I didn’t proofread either I kinda just typed it all in one go so I apologize for any errors🥺

20 years old I’ve turned. The age requirement that considers you an adult, and also the requirement that calls for experiences, drunken memories and maybe a little bit of hazy truth. And I just knew it was going to be crazy tonight. Cnco just finished their tour, Richard’s daughter was with her mom. I just knew that whatever happened tonight. I’m going to love it but hate it. Laying in your bed I waited for Chris to text me about the plan. I’m always close to Chris rather than all of the other members too the point that they thought we were dating.

Everytime the topic came up, the both of us just squelch in disgust,ultimately feeling so sick to my stomach that they could even think that. He was more like a brother to me, all of them were. Except Joel. Joel was more than a brother in my eyes. Yes very cliché but I couldn’t defeat silence as my heart beats whenever he was around. I couldn’t help but feel the butterflies build in my stomach. It’s been like that for a while, but the courage could never spill out, liquid courage is something different. I almost did once, if it wasn’t for Chris i could’ve ruined everything.

My phone buzzed interrupting my thoughts, it was Chris, sliding to answer I put the phone in speaker. “HAPPY BIRTHDAY PUTA!!!” He yells, just as i expected that’s why i put it speaker.

“Thank you puto, so what’s the plan?” I ask

“Duh, we’re getting you hammered for the first time, and not wine this time” Chris Jones

“Ha ha, that was one time” i roll your eyes, getting off the bed I walk towards the closet deciding on what outfit I’ll be wearing “so we’re going to a lounge or something?”

“I’m not telling you shit, sólo espera y mira” Chris laughs, knowing i won’t get anywhere with him I just nod my head and reply with an okay. “Coming to pick you up in thirty”

“bueno” I reply, then hanging up the phone, I m see a leather skirt and a red graphic crop top you bought two weeks ago. Smiling i grabbed it from your closet, laying it on the bed, sitting down on the floor i dictate which shows you want. Looking at my strappy black heels,I smile throwing them at the foot of my bed.

After my shower, I get dressed looking in the mirror at yourself I decided to change to something comfortable, so i switched your heels for some black platform ankle boots. Spraying favorite perfume on my phone rings. Already knowing who it is i don’t answer i just grab it along with my wallet. Swinging the door open you see Chris’s car. Locking the door to my apartment you race over to the passenger side.

“Who you trying to look good for?” Chris comments, while I strap yourself in with the seatbelt

“Cállate” i reply, on the way to wherever you guys were going, i controlled the music and he no say in it.

Cause it was my birthday.

Arriving at the club, Chris looks for a parking space, seeing as Richard was already here with The rest of the boys. Parking right next to their car I can hear Richard calling my name. “Fucking psycho” i mumbled. Getting out the car Richard raises his arms up bringing me into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday mami!!” Richard kisses the top of my head, smiling I hug him back “thank you rich” I pull out of his chest greeting the rest of the guys. When it was my turn to greet Joel. It seemed as if my brain went into tv static. But you pushed through it.

“Hey” shakily i approach him, Joel smiles sheepishly pulling me into a hug “hey happy birthday princesa” his voice melts into my heart, those infamous goosebumps traveling up my arm.

“thank you” i awkwardly mumble in his shirt. His hand slowly leaving my waist “I hope you don’t mind I bought more of my friends and Emilia along”

Softly I bite my lower lip softly at the name, i couldn’t deny it they were really great together, they had great chemistry. It just made me a little bit bitter that I lost my chance. A chance at holding him in my arms.

“Oh no it’s okay, the more the merrier” i smile, maybe a forced one but Joel really doesn’t pay attention to me. So I thought.

“bueno, lets go” Joel smiles, I nod my head greeting the rest of Joel’s friends, walking in the club it was packed, out of all the days my birthday could fall on. It had to be a Saturday.

“I’m going to regret ever taking up your offer” you punch Chris, he throws his arms around my shoulder “don’t worry we’re going to have so much fun tonight” he winks at me, to which Joel caught and he didn’t appreciate much.

Everyone but y’all knew the feeling was mutual. But the boys decided they wouldn’t interfere with someone else’s love life, they just decided “let nature take its course” Joel rolled his eyes at Chris’s remark, grabbing Emilia by the waist and making his way to the bar. My eyes eases him up and down sighing heavily I decided to not let him bother me.

At least not in the moment.

Five shots in i were tipsy maybe a bit beyond tipsy, taking shots after shots, Chris wasn’t lying when he said y’all were getting hammered. “I wanna dance now” I yell.

“Dale niña!” Chris says drowning in his last shot with a squeeze of a lime, nodding my head I turn around quiet too fast for my body to comprehend, i almost stumble off the stool. Joel and I made eye contact and immediately he grabs Emilia’s chin pulling it towards him and making out with her. Quiet sloppy, rolling i eyes and grab the first member which happened to be Richard.

“Wanna dance?” I smirk appears, Richard doesn’t get a chance to think as I’m grabbing his hand pulling him in the dance floor. As the music blared in the background, I back it up on Richard rubbing my ass on him, one of Richards hands was on my waist while the other was holding his drink, as I rolled my hips against his,singing the lyrics to the song that was playing. I look at Joel whose face is almost flushed with pink shades, i wink at him biting down on my lower lip trying not to smile.

Two can play your games Joel.

Richard throws his arm around my shoulder as my fingers hook onto his forearm. Richard presses me against him harder as his fingers imprint into my hips. After the song ended Richard and I made our way to the bar again grabbing another drink.

“How’s your birthday so far mami?” He asks

“Great! I swear I’ve never had this much fun in my life” i smile, sipping on my drink, i turn around and see Zabdiel dancing with a girl, smiling at my group of friends.

Excuse me for being a sappy drunk, but I’m so grateful for them, I never took them for granted. Richard flicks my forehead, flinching I hit him on his arms “What was that for?!” I scream

“You were being sappy drunk, we don’t need that here” Richard says downing another shot glass.

“Shut the fuck up” i drink the colorless liquid, turning back around I see Joel and Emilia grinding against each other, basically doing what Richard and I was doing.

“Trying to make Joel jealous?” Richard asks

“What?!” I asked startled just by my response he already knew my answer “I can help with that” Richard winks

“Really?” I ask, Richard doesn’t answer me but walks a over to Zabdiel putting me in between them, now this time i were grinding on Zabdiel fusing our bodies together sticking to each other like sap off a tree. Joel was fuming with anger and jealousy. He just couldn’t hold back his emotions tonight. But neither could I .

The tension was rising between the both of us. Would the flames swallow us up and disappear into pieces? Or would it ignite a new flame?

After that song I wanted to sit down, moving over to the couch, Joel tried to get away from Emilia to reach you but she sits on his lips wrapping her arms around his neck, stretching her legs out so their isn’t anymore room. Rolling my eyes I place my cross my arms across my chest.

“Can you please move your legs, I want to sit down” I ask politely when i should’ve said “fucking move your feet cunt”

“Why? So you can try to steal his attention?, don’t you have a man? Isn’t your man Chris? Stop playing these dudes hearts” she smiles sheepishly, every fiber in me holds back the urge to punch her in lip.

“One that isn’t none of your business and two I asked you politely to move your legs, im fucking tired, Joel make your girl move please” I ask as calmly as I can.

“Joel, you agree, she needs to learn to be loyal. She’s just fucking all your members, they’re all being played, that’s what you told me” Emilia smiles cradling his head in her hands, your eyes come into a sudden shock seeing as Joel has been talking shit about you to her. In such a negative way.

“Oh really?” I ask calmly

“So move along, you’re not his type” she says, your eyes dart at Joel whose been silent for a while, Joel’s eyes tries to meet yours darker than the nightsky. “Okay bet” I walk up to Emilia punching her in the lip feeling a pair of arms pick me up by the waist averting me away from the situation.

“Don’t you ever disrespect me goddamn it I should’ve gotten your fucking nose!!” I yell potentially busting a vein, Joel gets up finally looking down at emilia’s busted lip. His eyes now angry at you.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Joel yells

“Me?! Bitch you’ve been talking shit about me like I ain’t nothing goddamn!!!” I yell feeling my feet on the ground, but arms still holding my waist. “You fucking piece of shit you thought I was fucking your members?! That’s what you really think of me?! I fucking love you!! You!!”

“Only you dumbass!!” I start crying through my yells, the lump in my throat closing my air way

“So what the fuck is with you and Chris?!” Joel finally speaks

“Hes my fucking cousin!! Why would I date my cousin?!” The grip on your waist falls flat

“Your cousin?” Zabdiel questions. In fury you walk away from the heated situation and into the bathroom slamming the door behind you, the mascara I once knew of was dripping down your face. Grabbing a paper towel I wet it then wipe it off. the more I wiped the more the tears flowed.

I just knew it would slip. But no this way. I didn’t know it would come out in the heat of an argument. It’s not like you were hiding that Chris and I were related I just thought it didn’t have to be stated. The door jiggles open not even looking to see who it was I just keep cleaning my makeup off.

“Brenda, let’s talk about this” his voice sending those chills throughout my spine.

“One don’t call me that and What is there to talk about? I’m just a fucking whore in your eyes” you sting him

“I’m sorry bre,Never for a second did I ever say or thought that” Joel replies in sincerity

“So what did you really think Joel?” I ask turning around towards him, his hands cupping my face with one hand and cleaning my makeup with the other.

“I think you’re a rainbow in the middle of a hurricane,the moon before it kisses the ocean, the sunflower in the middle of roses, you’re different bebesita, just the woman I fell in love with” Joel mummers

“You don’t mean that you’re fucking drunk” I slur

“Not drunk enough to wear my heart on my sleeves for you, ask me this tomorrow and I can tell you word for word what I said” Joel looks into my eyes intensely, he tilts my chin up to his lips as out fuse together, tasting the strawberry liquor he drank, his hands on top of my ass picking me up and putting me on the sink. His lips now on the my tepid neck, my fingers combing their way through his hair. Joel pulls out of my neck his eyes easing me up and down trying to level with mine.

“Bre, I love you okay? No one else” Joel speaks softly

“So you and Emilia?” I ask curiously

Joel’s smile increases “we were never a thing, I want us to be a thing, trust me I won’t break your heart, the last thing I want to do is see you cry again because of me” Joel’s smile disappears, I touch his jawline caressing them with my fingernails.

“Me too” I mumble

“So will you go out with me bre?” Joel speaks above my lips, nodding my head he leans in smiling as our flavors interlock with each other. Joel helps me jump down from the counter and onto the floor. “Let’s go home?” He ask more or less as a question

“Yeah”

Erick ended up driving the both of us home, cause we were way past drunk to even think about getting on the road. Kicking off my shoes at the front door I meet Joel in the room, seeing him already half undressed, my face begins to change in temperature, my knees begin to buckle and become jello. Ignoring the pool in between my thighs I jump on the bed sitting on the edge of the bed. Joel turns around smiling at me which just brings back those butterflies. Now that he is actually mine I don’t think those will ever go away.

Joel towers over me pressing his lips upon mine moving in sync with each other, slowly I lean onto the sheets of his bed caressing his biceps with my nails. Joel lets out a soft groan in my mouth his hand gripping onto my thigh raising it up to his waist as his body dips into me. Rubbing his hard member against my wet core. Both of letting out a desperate pleasure, Joel pulls away his eyes painting onto mine.

“Wanna continue this?” Joel questions

“With you? Yeah I do” i smile, Joel’s smile slowly starts to creep upon his face, my hands find themselves under his shirt feeling his abs clenching on and off to my touch. “You got me, so now what?” I smile

“Eres muy hermosa” Joel mumbles, his plump lips leaving tiny trails of kisses on my neck up to my jawline as I gasp in comfort, his hands sliding under the fabric of my clothes touching my burning flesh. His hands cups one of my breasts as his lips makes their way down to my neck. Pulling away he tugs on the hem of my shirt and lifting it over my head. Before I could process anything his lips attack my swollen nipples licking and tugging at the seams as his fingers firmly unclampes my bra from the back, my back slowly rising off the bed sensitive to the way his tonuge explores my body.

Backing away from my body Joel pulls my bra down from my body as I look at him in lovestruck, Joel smiles at my sudden subspace, lifting his shirt over his head my eyes can’t help but to wonder every detail and curve to his body.

And I can’t believe tonight I’m going to be under it. Joel pulls down the zipper of my skirt, I lift my hips up to him slightly as his fingertips hook on my fabric pulling down both pieces of clothing down throwing it on the floor for decor. Slowly Joel opens my legs wide his fingertips digging into my waist he pulls me closer to him. Joel’s lips begin kissing the inside of thighs softly as my body aches for his touch, his breath hovering over my swollen clot awaiting for his tongue to be buried inside of my slit. Joel makes eye contact with my forming that smirk he’s been giving my all night. With one finger he slides up and down my slit coating it in my colorless essences.

His soft but simple touch feels like ecstasy to me, popping his finger into his mouth tasting me he presses down on my clit making me squeeze the covers in my hands. “Joel...” I plead. “What is it you want baby?”

“You” I let out desperately, Joel wastes no time after my answer as his tongue slowly laps up my slit dripping in sticky liquid just pouring out by every touch he makes. Joel’s eyes meet up with mine, feeling his tongue creating circles around my swollen clit with a tight tug of his lips sucking. My head sinks into the pillow letting myself fall into euphoria. Joel savoring me like his last meal, groaning into me as my moans fill the air along with the beads of sweat trickling down my body. My eyes rolling back at the his tongue flicks my sensitive bud. A knit begins to form in my stomach as my moans start to become more and more silent.

“I’m gonna come..” was the only sentence I could achieve, Joel hovers over me his two fingers pressed against my pearl shifting them from side to side filling the air with my juices and sparse broken moans. Joel wraps his hand around my throat softly but still be mindful not to choke me. “Come baby, mira pa’ acá princesa” his voice reverbs off the walls, opening my eyes you look into his. “You’re going to come for me babygirl?” Nodding my head as the whimpers begin to spilling out of me, my legs begin to tremble eyes rolling back as silence fills the room. My legs begin to close but Joel holds them open using his middle finger only to slide up and down my slit sending me into another phase of euphoria.

“I can’t Joel..” I whimper holding his wrist with one hand, but Joel ignores my cries, applying pressure back to my bud, rubbing in a circular motion his fingers engulfed in a creamy substance, this time his pace stable. Bitting down on my lower lip my whole body begins to shake reaching a another climax, “you’re so beautiful baby when you come” my hand digging into his forearm as I cum all over his fingers. His tongue cleaning me up I spasm every time it comes into contact with my bud. He unbuckles his belt dropping his pants and boxers to the floor. Reaching over the his bedside table he pulls out a gold wrapper. My body still trying to come down from the high as my chest rises up and down slowly.

“Ready for this?” Joel reassures “is this something you really want?”

“Wouldn’t want to have anyone else as my first” I smile caressing his jawline

“Me too” Joel slowly dips into me sliding ever so slowly as my face screws up in agony “am I hurting you? Do you wanna stop?” Joel ponders, opening your eyes you meet those soft butter pecan eyes. “No, keep going” I whisper. Joel intertwines his hands with mine, as my walls engulf him deeper and deep, the pain slowly started to subdue and pleasure came to replace it.

“Better?” Joel’s soft voice rings

“So much better” I moan, feeling him slide in and out of me, his manhood stretching me out with every slow thrust, almost sensing that I want more Joel sinks deeper into me planting his kisses on my neck, my fingertips scratching his back making sketches upon his skin my soft moans echoing his ears felt like he was in the studio recording a song. With every stroke I lose my breath, our hips clashing together as the beads of sweat drip upon us both. His grinds increased as the headboard constantly thumped against the wall.

The familiar knot builds in my stomach as Joel’s strokes become sloppier but never stopping to hit my sweet spot. We were both close to falling over the edge. “Come for me” He whispered as I fell over the edge into a waterfall of pleasure, grabbing purchase of his hair My eyes rolled back as I screamed his name, as he came along with me. My eyes slowly open feeling my walls unclench from him, rolling the condom off he threw it in the trash coming back with a warm wash cloth, to clean ne up.

“Do I taste bad?” I joke Joel’s eyes dart at me in concern “it’s a joke baby, cause you the cloth you’re too sweet”

“I mean I can use my tongue to clean you, but I may not know when to stop” Joel answers me cleaning my cum up I squirm a little making Joel chuckle. “I love that, me necesita” Joel raspy voice creates a heated pool in between my thighs. Getting back in the bed Joel wraps his arms around my waist sticking my back to his chest, while his chin sinks into the dip of my shoulder.

“I love you Joel”

“I love you more baby” Joel replies through the heavy clouds of sleep.

Waking up the next morning Joel left me a note saying he went to practice for their performance here in my hometown , breakfast is on the counter. Smiling I grab my phone heading straight for Instagram I see a picture of Joel.

358,662 likes

joelpimentel

🛏 day.

@/Bree__

All mine right?🤤

joelpimentel

@/bree__ all yours mami😘

Smiling I set my phone down heading to the kitchen not until I hear keys jangling in the lock. Joel’s head pops into his house closing the door behind him locking it with one hand. “So were??”

“Oh shush” Joel shuts me up by cupping my jawline in his hand planting his lips on top of mine, his lips tasted of raspberry, pulling away he kisses all over my face as I let out a series of giggles. “Yeah we’re official I don’t know who asked who, but you’re mine I don’t like sharing”

“Me either” grabbing a French fry you smile. Joel being my boyfriend was something I thought to be impossible but here I am I’m his kitchen wearing his hoodie. Couldn’t be any better.

[spacesuitsforemergency]

💍 for roynawa?

“Solace! Arsenal! Where are you guys?” Nightwing shouted into the coms.

“Christ! Please, scream in my ear a little louder!” Solace snapped as she sent a burst of energy towards some of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants goons. “We got held back, don’t worry about us. Just get to the President, we’ll block the entrance!”

“Got it, we’ve got eyes on Diablo, you stand guard!”

“Shit! They’ve got Domino with them!” Arsenal shouted, pointing out the mutant with the power of luck on her side.

“Damn it Roy, you better have good aim today!” Onawa snapped at her boyfriend, quickly throwing up a shield for them. “Hit her core, Anja said she can’t dodge those as easily!”

“Got it, babe!” Roy grinned, quickly loading a crossbow and shooting at her. Onawa smacked him across the head when she dodged it. “Hey! It’s not my fault!”

“You take care of Avalanche and Blob, I’ve got Domino and Quicksilver. Understood?”

“Yes ma’am.” He nodded, and they switched fighting partners.

Solace used her powers to lit Quicksilver off the ground, and tossed him at Domino to knock her down. Her golden orange magic struck through the air towards Quicksilver once he got up again, dragging him to the ground so he couldn’t run away.

“Onawa!” Roy shouted, and she didn’t have time to react before a wave of red magic flung Roy across the battlefield, knocking him clean against the building.

“No!” Onawa screamed, eyes scanning for the perpetrator. She saw Scarlet Witch standing among the mutants, and their magic collided as they sent attacks towards each other.

Onawa’s rage fueled her strength, and she sent a wave of magic that knocked everyone to the ground, causing them to become unconscious. Once she knew they were all down she ran over to Roy, heart dropping when she saw blood.

“Roy William Harper, you better not be dead.” She mumbled to herself, carefully lifting him and laying his head in her lap. She I clipped her cloak and used it to gently wipe blood off his face, careful not to apply too much pressure.

“I think I’m gonna need an Advil.” Roy whispered, a tired grin on his face.

“You’re an idiot.” Onawa chuckled, moving her cloak so it acted as a blanket for him.

“But I’m your idiot.” He smiled wider, eyes still unfocused.

“Quit talking, just rest, you doofus.” Onawa shushed him, tenderly running a hand through his ginger hair.

“Solace, Arsenal, do you copy?” Soldier said into the coms.

“Arsenal’s hurt, Brotherhood is down.” Solace responded.

“Alright, we’re coming out.” Artemis alerted.

“Yeah, we’re all gay.”

“Oh, shut up, Wally!” Everyone snapped.

“Roy?” Onawa whispered to him.

“Hm?” He hummed, eyelids heavy.

“Will you marry me?”

His eyes widened, suddenly now wide awake.

“Dammit, O, I had a whole proposal planned out!” He finally groaned.

“Well, you took too long.” Onawa shrugged.

“Onawa, you ruined it!” She heard Tye shout.

“Wait, my com is on?”

“Yes!” Everyone shouted.

“For the lords sake, yes or no, Roy?!” Nightingale asked excitedly.

“Of course I’ll marry you.” Roy smiled up at her.

“Good. Because if you said no I would leave you here to die of blood loss.” She said sarcastically, leaning down and gently pressing her lips to his.

“I’m still invited to the wedding, right?” They both looked over when they heard Diablo speak.

“Yes. But only because I love Amias and Anja with all my heart. Otherwise you’d be toast, devil boy.” Onawa nodded.

“Keep moving.” Anja shoved her handcuffed brother towards the police cars that started to arrive.

“What? I was just asking.” Sawyer mumbled as he was led away.

“What was the proposal that you planned?” Onawa asked Roy as Dick and Conner walked over and hauled him to his feet.

“Oh, nothing as good as this.” Roy winked at her.

“Oh, please.” Conner rolled his eyes while Dick laughed. “Well take him to medical, your girls are over there.”

“Thanks Conner.” She nodded, gave Roy one last kiss before grabbing her bloodied cloak off the ground and walking towards her team.

“You really had to propose now? He was getting to it!” Tye walked next to his sister.

“Tye, you know how impatient I can be.” Onawa slung an arm around her little brother. “Besides, whatever he was gonna do wouldn’t have fit my standards.”

“But proposing while he’s half conscious and you’re both covered in blood does?” Tye raised an eyebrow at her.

She opened her mouth to respond, but was bombarded by her girls.

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!” Anja shook her by the shoulders in excitement.

“IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!” Lani picked up the taller girl in a huge hug.

“I CALL MAID OF HONOR!” Olive shouted.

“What?! No way!” Anja turned to her. “You won’t even wear a dress!”

“So?”

“No, I call it! I’m her favorite!” Nohealani set down Onawa to join in the arguing.

“No, I’m her favorite!”

“Olive, you’re no ones favorite.”

“Shut up, Anja! At least I’m not a suck up!”

“Girls!” Onawa snapped her fingers to gain their attention. They all shut up and turned to her. “Newsflash, none of you are my maid of honor. That position goes to my dear brother.”

“Do I look like a maid to you?” Tye glared at her.

“Pardon me, MAN of honor.” Onawa corrected herself. “Please?”

“Well...I guess.” Tye grinned, and stiffened when she tugged him into a hug. “Hey hey, we’re not getting sappy, are we?”

“No.”

“You’re crying.”

“No I’m not.”

[breathinginthevapor]

“At least think of me while you’re gone”

Summary: your relationship with Tom is a secret, and you hate it. At a party, your feelings are finally confronted.

A/N: This is a very, very, very late (im so sorry taylor!) entry for @plushparkers 2k writing challenge, so a big congrats to her on reaching on that amazing milestone! I hope you guys will give it a read and tell me what you think afterwards!

Word count: 5600+

T/W: alcohol and swearing

My masterlist

To: The Worst Spiderman Ever🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

When does your plane arrive?❤️ (heart emoji)

You hit send, putting your phone down on the sink. You pick up the mascara instead, painting your eyelashes black before the “Ping!”-sound from your phone startles you and causes you to draw a dark line just below your eyebrow.

“Fucking shit,” you curse, searching through your cabinet with frantic movements for a cotton pad and makeup remover.

While you try to remove your mistake, you look at your phone.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

Around 5. Don’t have to pick me up, though.

Throwing the cotton pad in the bin, you quickly type an answer.

To: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

You know I want to. Missed you😘 (kissing emoji)

You smile at the thought that you’ll see him today, and that these last months spent longing will finally be over. In just a couple of hours, you will be able to smell him, talk to him, touch him. And yeah, maybe he won’t kiss you at the airport, but he definitely will later, when it’s just the two of you.

Another “Ping” lets you know you’ve gotten a new message, and you try to keep your cool by applying some lipstick, but your whole body is buzzing, eager to see his answer.

Soon, your lips are coated in a beautiful red shade, perfectly kissable in your own, humble opinion. Tom loves having your lips mark him, his jaw often covered in lipstick marks after you’ve been hanging out, and the fact that the popping colour draws attention to your lips doesn’t hurt, either.

You want him to hug you in the airport while he’s yearning to kiss you, yearning to see if you taste like that cherry lip balm he likes, and maybe you won’t when he finally gets you alone, but by then it won’t matter.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

There’ll be a crowd, and I’ll be too tired to do anything but sleep anyway.

You don’t understand. Does that mean he doesn’t want you to come? Or that he thinks you’ll get uncomfortable surrounded by his screaming fans?

Because you can deal with the fans, you’ve done so before, but if it’s because he doesn’t want you there, you won’t know what to do.

Before you can answer, though, another text shows on the screen.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

I’ll just see you at the party🕺🎆 (dancing man and fireworks emoji)

The welcome home party might already be tomorrow, but you still feel stupid. Here you’ve been, ecstatic for his return for weeks while he doesn’t even want you to be there in the airport. Besides, who knows how much you’ll even see of him tomorrow, everyone’s there to see him, after all.  

To: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

👍 (thumbs up emoji)

And yeah, maybe your answer is passive aggressive, but right now, you really don’t care. Not when you’ve spent days debating what to wear for picking him up and figured out exactly what amount of make-up you should go for to ensure you looking great but not over the top.

And now, he doesn’t even want to see you.

You find the makeup remover once more, this time removing all traces of the makeup you’ve just applied. You slide the cotton pad all over your face with harsh movements, and while it might not be the best way to clean your skin, it helps relieve some of the anger.

Both your skin and your eyes are red when you’re finished, but you don’t look at yourself in the mirror long enough to see the tears sliding down.

Instead, you go back to bed, crawl under the covers and cry to a sad teen movie you loved when you were younger.

The worst part is, you find that you still love the movie just as much as back then, all too similar to the way your love for Tom has done nothing but increase since you first discovered it in your teen years.

   Tom’s parents’ house is filled up with people, but as Tom’s best friend through most of your life, you know the bigger part of them.

You spend a couple minutes talking to his aunt about her hip problems, but then you figure you want something to drink and excuse yourself.

There’s a lot to choose from, delicious sodas and expensive-looking bottles of champagne and wine, but you pick up a canned beer instead. You figure you need some alcohol as soon as possible. That way, you hope you’ll have the courage to face him when you have to.

You definitely can’t keep avoiding him, because even though the house isn’t small, it isn’t exactly a mansion, either.

You sip the beer, taking a few steps towards the wall to let Tom’s young cousins access the drink’s table.

Then, your eyes meet his, and you feel slightly dizzy as it seems almost unreal to finally see him in real life and not through a screen.

Still, you’re angry and hurt, and there’s a knot in your stomach. You can’t remember the last time you felt like this, the last you were angry at him. And maybe it’s petty, but you just hate the fact that you always plan everything around him, while he, when it comes down to it, doesn’t even want to see you after spending four months apart.

“Hey,” he greets you with a smile while still making his way to you, squeezing in between people and excusing himself.

“Hey,” you repeat, but your voice is cold as you take another sip of your beer. There’s a flicker of worry breaking through his confident, happy exterior, but it disappears quickly.

When he’s finally standing close enough to you, he engulfs you in a tight hug, and although you’ve dreamt about this reunion, this first hug in months, it doesn’t even feel that nice. Your body is tense, and your attempt to reciprocate his hug is half-hearted, so he finally lets you go and looks inquiring at you, still with a grip on your elbows.

“We cool?”

You swallow a lump, trying to put on a fake smile. You hope he doesn’t see through it, because although he used to be able to read your face as if it was a stop sign or a stupid brochure for a new pizzeria, it’s been a long time since you last saw each other.

“Sure.”

“Why are you acting weird then?” he asks, and you know he’s split between knowing you’re lying and the fact that it probably won’t help his situation to call you out on it.

You shake his hands off you to gulp down some beer.

“I’m not.”

He crooks his head, scrunching his eyes and looking down at his hands that hang loosely down his sides after returning from you. They start fiddling with the red polo he’s wearing, and you let your gaze wander slowly up his body, not missing how strong his biceps look or the broadness of his shoulder, before you get to his face to find him already watching you.

“You are.”

This time, you don’t argue. Why even bother?

A silence settles between you, so different to the happy chatter filling up the room, and you don’t know how to act. You don’t think you’ve ever experienced anything so awkward with Tom, he’s always been the one you could talk to for an endless number of hours, the one you could be quiet with, the one person in the world you were most comfortable around.

“Nice party,” you say when the silence becomes too much for you, but you hate yourself for being the first one to bow down. It seems that you always are.  

He shrugs, “You know my mum. Always inviting people we don’t even talk with often.”

Perhaps it just runs in the family, you wonder; making people feel like they’re more important than they are.

“They’ve missed you,” you just tell him, knowing that it’s true. He tends to have that impact on people, squeezing himself into their hearts in a matter of five minutes. And once you’ve met him, it’s impossible to forget him.

“They?” he softly asks, and you know he wants you to elaborate.

When you don’t, he asks again, this time phrased so you have no chance to get out of answering, “What about you? Haven’t you missed me?”

You look away, your gaze landing on Harrison who’s laughing with Tom’s grandma.

“Don’t know why you would ask something so stupid,“ you mutter.

He steps closer, and you can feel his presence all over your body. His breath hits your face, and you can smell both beer and the homemade chips his dad is famous for.

“Wanna hear you say it.”

You look at him again, and like countless of times before, you are hit by his beauty. You don’t think there’s a single person in this world as handsome as him, but you might be biased.

Being in love with the same guy for years tends to do that to someone.

“Missed you so much it hurt,” you admit, and you watch his face soften. He’s so close that you could just lean forward and kiss him.

Needless to say, it takes everything in you not to.

Luckily, he steps back, and the enchantment is broken.

“I should probably talk to the other guests. Don’t want them to feel left out, do we?”

You force yourself to laugh, “Of course not.”

But everything in you is begging and hoping that he just takes your hand and leads you away from everyone.

You want him to say that he’s missed you too, that he’s been thinking of you constantly, but you know he hasn’t. Or, maybe he’s felt a pinch of pain occasionally, but then he’s moved on and forgotten about it. Unlike you, who has spent so many nights crying, wishing that he was laying right beside you. And you know that it’s not his fault, that your circumstances are different because he’s out there, doing what he loves most while you are drowning in boring schoolwork and waiting impatiently for his return.

He steps closer, and you think he’s going to kiss you, in front of all those people, and your heart starts beating terribly fast, but then he turns his head and whispers in your ear, “Will I see you later?”

You know what he means: Another quickie in the dark, no one finding out there’s any more than friendship between you. Because that’s how he wants your relationship to be, a secret, even from his own family.

It feels like a stake to the heart, and honestly, you don’t feel like he deserves an answer. Instead, you opt for a small smile that could mean anything and then you down your beer, leaving him there and walking over to your other curly haired friend, but not before handing him the empty can.

If he’s so determined to be the perfect host, he might as well clean up a bit.  

“Hey Haz,” you mumble, throwing your arms around Harrison’s torso from behind.

He looks back at you and smiles widely, and contrary to what one might think, you aren’t completely oblivious to how good looking he is.

You wonder if you should have thought of getting some less pretty friends to make yourself shine a bit more in comparison, but you don’t think you’d be able to find someone who could make you laugh as much as Tom and Harrison can, not even if you searched the whole planet.

You just have to live with the unfairness of their unarguable attractiveness.

“Hey Y/N. Tired?” he asks softly.

You yawn, realizing that you actually are and confirming his question. He chuckles, and you press your cheek against his shoulder, closing your eyes for a second.

“I like this sweater. Really soft.”

“Hi nan,” you then greet Tom’s grandmother who has always insisted that you treat her the same way her grandkids would.

Measured in how much time you’ve spent with her and the rest of the family, you might as well be.

“Hello, darling,” she says, sending you a sweet smile. “I have to serve the cake now, but come catch up with me later, won’t you?”

“Of course, nan,” you promise her, watching her leave and then letting go of Harrison.

“Everything alright?” he asks after turning around to face you.

You shrug, “I guess.”

He rolls his eyes, pointing his finger at you in a reprimanding manner, “Tell me what’s wrong or you know what will happen.”

You can’t help but smile, but then you play along and squeeze your eyes shut and crossing your arms, “I’m not scared of you.”

“You’re not? Then you won’t mind if I TICKLE YOU?”

Harrisons hands reach for you, but you run away, squealing, before he can catch you.

“You’ll never catch me,” you mock him, running up the stairs and into Tom’s bedroom before realizing the inevitable: that you’re trapped.

“NOOOOO,” you scream as he pushes you onto the bed and starts tickling you, hands gripping your sides.

“Let me go, please, Haz,” you beg in-between laughs.

“You know what you need to say, Y/N,” he grins, and you shake your head.

“Never.”

However, it doesn’t take long before you surrender, throwing your hands up and rolling your eyes.

“Alright, alright, you are the hottest, coolest, cleverest, funniest person in the world, Harrison Osterfield.”

He immediately lets you go, plopping down on the bed beside you.

“Finally. My arms were getting tired,” he sighs contently.

You grunt, “Should spend a bit more time in the gym, then.”

“Oh, shut up, Y/N.”

He hits you playfully, and you both laugh, looking up to the ceiling and catching your breaths.

When you’ve stopped panting, you speak up, “Would you be ashamed of me if we were dating?”

“How can you even ask me that? You’re the dopest person ever,” he reassures you, turning his head to the side to look at you.

You laugh, “I can believe you still say dope.”

“What can I say, I’m just a dope person, too, Y/N.”

You roll your eyes at his stupidity, before a pang of sadness rushes through you. For a second, you wonder why, but then you remember why you’re feeling down and repeat your question for Harrison.

“No, but honestly, would you be ashamed of me?”

His blue eyes watch you intensely like it’s very important to him that you understand what he says, “Never.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

He laces your little fingers together, the ‘pinky promise’ an old ritual of yours.

“But why are you asking?” he inquires softly.

“I just- I’m just so damn tired of being his secret, you know?”

He gives you an empathic smile, letting you continue instead of answering your rhetoric question.

“I’m not even sure he likes me like as more than a friend anymore.”

You don’t mention a name, but you both know who you’re talking about. Although neither of your families know, it was clear to both of you from the start that Harrison would figure it out no matter what, and that you might as well tell him yourself.

“That bad, huh?”

You sigh, “Yeah. Not even exaggerating, I’m really not sure.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, that sucks.”

“Sure does,” you agree, laughing involuntarily at the tragic situation, and Harrison soon joins you.

Then, he says softly, “If you aren’t happy, Y/N, you should let him go. You deserve better.”

“I know,” you whisper, “But I don’t think I can.”

He takes your hand, squeezing it and interlacing your hands, and no words are needed. You know he feels bad for you, and you both know there’s nothing he can do to ease your trouble.

“I wish it was you instead. We’d make such a great couple,” you tell him, trying to lift the mood.

He nods, grinning, “Legendary.”

“Shame we don’t like each other like that, really. Our kids would be so beautiful.”

“Maybe that’s why. Would be unfair to their peers when they’d be so much uglier.”

You shake your head, smiling at the thought.

Then, on a more serious note, “Thanks for being here, Haz.”

“Anytime, Y/N.”

He squeezes your hand once more and then helps you get up.

“If it makes you feel any better, he looked terribly jealous when you hugged me,” Harrison tells you, and though it shouldn’t, you catch yourself being happy with it. At least he’s not totally indifferent.

You return to the party, Harrisons hand laying comfortingly on the swell of your back the whole time, until it’s to go home. He presses a kiss to your cheek and tells you to hit him up soon, and you thank him for being such a good friend. He truly deserves the world.

You wish you could go with him, but still, you stay, having been tricked into helping with the cleaning by Tom’s mother, and really, you’d be happy to if it didn’t involve seeing Tom.

It’s hard to even remember what made you mad when you’re near him, and if that wasn’t enough, you’re afraid that you’ll say something you’ll regret later.

Because while this might be tearing you to pieces, you know it’d be much, much worse if you lost him completely.

Although you are deep in thought, you probably shouldn’t be as startled as you are when he speaks, considering you are cleaning the same room as him.

“I got a bit cold out by the grill, so I went to see if I had a sweater in my room, and I didn’t mean to, but I heard you and Harrison,” he softly tells you, eyes scanning your face for a reaction. You try not to give him one, pursing your lips tightly together and remaining silent.

He sighs, running a hand through the curly locks of his hair.

“Y/N, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?” you mutter, looking away.

You wish this conversation wasn’t happening. You don’t even dare to imagine the outcome.

“That you feel like I’m keeping you a secret.”

You scrunch your eyes, looking at him again, “What did you think I felt, Tom? Honestly? You haven’t even told your mom, and we both know you tell your mom everything. I feel like I’m nothing to you.”

Your words are harsh at the beginning, anger in your body, but it quickly deflates and leaves you sad instead, making your last words soft and fragile.

And Tom looks taken back by your statement, stuttering when he replies, “I- I- I guess I just thought we were on the same page. That you didn’t care whether people knew about us or not.”

You roll your eyes, “If you truly believed that, you don’t know me like I thought you did.”

You let go of your hold on the black rubbish bag you’re throwing empty cups into as you wait for his answer.

“I guess you’re right,” he admits with a whisper, “I guess I did know.”

You nod, throat tight.

“Yeah,” you just say.

You stand there, looking at each other in silence, and you don’t even try to hide your tears. If there was anyone but him watching, you probably would have tried, but this is Tom, your best friend, the person that has broken your heart but also someone with hands you wouldn’t hesitate to put your life into.

He takes a small step closer to you, looking at you with desperation.

“I wish we could tell everyone, Y/N, I really do. But you know how my agency feels about my image and my availability,” he pauses, swallowing down a lump in his throat before he continues, “But if my next movie just gets big enough, it will be different, Y/N, I promise. Then they can’t refuse.”

You shake your head, your vision to blurred to see anything, but your mind is surprisingly clear. You don’t believe his words, and really, you just wish he would tell the truth, because to you, it seems that this mess has gotten so bad because of lack of honesty, and you’re done with it.

You’re done with being anxious all the time, not knowing if he’s uncertain about his feelings for you, even doubting whether you’re the only one he goes home to. You’re done with feeling inadequate and unlovable and stupid, waiting around for someone who doesn’t want to come home.

“Far from home was one of the best-selling movies ever, but apparently, that still wasn’t big enough. So, what’ll it be, Tom?”

“Are you asking me to choose between you and my career?”

You shake your head violently, not understanding how he could accuse you for doing such a thing, but then you nod, realising that maybe you are. And surprisingly, you don’t feel selfish doing so.

“Not between me and your career, Tom, but yes, I am asking you to choose between me and the stupid rules of your agency.”

Now, he looks angry, brow scrunched and tight jawline, “My agency and their stupid rules,” he starts, emphasizing the last three words mockingly, “is what gets me jobs, Y/N! They are the reason I can live my dream, don’t you understand?”

You step closer to him, not believing he would dare to treat you like a stubborn child. “Of course, I understand, Tom! I’ve done nothing but understand ever since we started this damn relationship, but I’m fucking sick and tired of it!”

Your loudness seems to surprise Tom, who takes a few steps back from your anger, almost tripping over your discarded rubbish bag.

“Please don’t do this, Y/N. Don’t make me choose,” he begs, and there’s a part of you that wants to give in, but the bigger part of you knows that nothing will change if you do, and that you’ll just stay miserable.

“I’ve known you for most of my life, Tom, and I’ve been in love with you for years, but I can’t do this, not if you’re not in it like I am. I can’t keep giving you my everything when I only receive 30% in return.”

Then, he says those words that you know will haunt you forever, “I’m- I’m- I’m so sorry, Y/N, but I just can’t. Please understand, I just can’t.”

You nod, but you don’t, you don’t understand. He won’t even meet you halfway.

You look at each other, and you watch how he clearly fights to keep himself together, and you can’t stay mad at him when he looks so broken. You’re always putting him first.

“Will you- will you promise me one thing, though?” you ask, voice hoarse and broken.

He nods, eyes wet and lips pressed tight together.

When you speak, there’s a salty taste on your tongue, and it feels like goodbye, “I know there’s so many incredible things out there, and I promise I don’t expect anything else from you anymore, but at least- at least think of me while you’re gone, won’t you?”

A sob escapes his lips when he nods, but he still doesn’t say anything, so you gather your belongings in silence, walking into the hallway, Tom only a few steps behind you.

Your hand has just reached the doorknob when you realize that no matter how hurt you are, you can’t just leave him like this. So, you turn around, throw your things to the floor and hug him, relishing in the smell of his cologne and the soft material of his shirt against your cheek.

His chest is shaking with sobs, and his lips feel chapped when he kisses your forehead like he’s done so many times when you were nervous or sad, even before your friendship turned into something more.

There’s a wet spot on his shirt when you pull away, and you smile through your tears, watching him through your blurred vision.

“I’ll see you around,” you tell him, but you don’t know if you’re lying.

You pick up your things, and he looks like he wants to stop you from leaving, but he just nods and says goodbye with a broken whisper, “Yeah, I’ll see you.”

Then, you close the door behind you, your body a mess while nostalgia, sadness, despair and love fights for dominance in your body.

If you weren’t so busy being heartbroken, you might have wondered if it was worth losing your best friend in return for some months in paradise, spent kissing and making love under the covers. And you would quickly have come to the solution that it wasn’t, that if you could, you would go back and undo all this mess and settle for being his best friend.

Luckily, you don’t think any of these thoughts, not yet. That sorrow is for another day.

   “Ping!”

The screen of your phone lights up along with the sound, telling you you’ve got a message. You figure it’s Jake, asking which chocolate you want or if you need more tampons. You smile at the thought, finding it funny how Jake’s biggest fear seems to be that you don’t run out of sweets and sanitary items when you’re on that time of the month. You wonder if he’s scared you’ll turn into some weird monster, but it’s probably just him being sweet.

However, the text isn’t from Jake.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

Hey. I’m home for a couple weeks and I really want to see you

You can’t believe he still has that stupid name on your phone.

You delete all the emojis and text and write his full name without any emojis to follow, but your index finger lingers over the save button. Then, you go back without changing anything.

It feels wrong to do so, like deleting a period of your life that should, at worst, be packed away in a box in your closet and not completely thrown out.

On the other hand, though, the box seems to have jumped out of the closet and into your living room instead, making its presence known where it isn’t appreciated.

Still, there’s a small part of you, the part that was Tom’s friend and nothing else, wants to meet him and see how he’s doing. 

To: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

Hi Tom

You don’t want else to say, or write, so you just hit send and put the phone down again, your breath quicker and a spark of panic rising in your body. Even after all this time, he still gives you all the motions.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

Please don’t be like this

Be like what, Tom, you wonder, but you just text him the name of a coffee shop and ask him to meet you there in a few hours. If anything needs to be said between you, it should be in person and not through text.

From: The Worst Spiderman Ever 🤮🕷❤️ (barf, spider and heart emoji)

Thank you, Y/N. Really❤️ (heart emoji)

You really hope you’ve made the right decision.

   “Y/N, I’ve been a fool, no, worse than that, I’ve been a big, stupid idiot, but I need you.”

His grip on your hands are tight, and you gently try to get him to let you go, but he doesn’t seem to notice.

“We’ll do it properly this time, tell everyone, and we’ll go on the red carpet together and-“

“Tom,” you interrupt him softly, and you just want him to stop talking. This will get embarrassing for both of you if he keeps going, and you don’t want that.

Unfortunately, he doesn’t let you save him.

“And I’ll be home a lot more, Y/N, I promise. We can travel together, to Paris or Seoul or Rio, and I won’t care who’s watching-“

This time, your voice is a bit louder, hoping it’ll get through to him. “Tom, please, stop,” you plead. Still, it seems like he doesn’t hear you.  

He leans closer to you and looks you right in the eye, “I love you, Y/N. More than anything, and I don’t know why it’s taking me so long to realize, but I do, and I’m terribly sor- Why are you crying?“

You haven’t even noticed your tears before he comments them, but then you carefully, as if he’s made of glass, untangle your hands from each other.

“I’m with someone, Tom,” you tell him, and it feels like a knife to your heart when his face slowly falters as he realizes what you mean.

“I- what- who? When?”

“You don’t know him, Tom. He’s from school.” There’s a flash of relief on his face when he finds out it isn’t someone he knows, maybe even one of his friends, but then the hurt returns.

“When, YN?”

You swallow a lump, looking down at your coffee.

“Almost a year ago,” you tell him, knowing that he won’t understand. That he’ll think that you got over in the span of a minute and moved on, but it isn’t true.

So, before he can say anything, you explain, “He was in one of my classes and had asked me out before, and when you left, I just needed to spend time with someone who didn’t know you, someone who wouldn’t ask or talk about you.”

Most of your friends were friends with Tom, too, or at least they knew him, but you needed to be someone who didn’t.

“I told him from the start that my heart was broken, but he was so patient and waited until I was sure I was ready. He really helped me a lot, Tom.”

Tom nods, and you know he understands. Everyone has different ways of coping, and for all you know, he could have slept with half of the world in this past year. You know he probably did with a couple, and the thought doesn’t make you sick like it used to do.

You’re just sad that he probably didn’t have anyone taking care of him like Jake had taken care of you.

“Does he make you happy, Y/N?”

“I-“ you start, but it’s hard to get the words past your lips when you know that they’ll hurt him.

For a long time, you wanted him to hurt, to know your pain and know that he had lost one of the best things in his life, but now, after doing a lot of growing up, you wish you could find a way not to hurt him. Maybe if you lied, but he’ll probably always be able to see through you.

Knowing you have no other choice, you answer him honestly, “Yeah. He does. He really does.”

He gulps, looking away for a moment. You follow his gaze, watch the busy streets of London packed with stylish locals and less stylish tourists, and you wonder if it still feels like home to him. If home becomes a fleeting place when the whole world is at your disposal. You wonder if you’ll ever know, but you don’t think you will.

And as for yourself, you might never get to travel the world like you used to dream of doing, but you’ve realized it doesn’t matter. You have so much else, so many wonderful people in your life, so much love around you. 

“Do you love him?”

You look at his face and know that he wants you to say no, that he wants this to be like a movie where everything works out in the end, and the guy gets the girl, and everyone lives happily ever after.

But this isn’t one of his beloved movies. This is real life.

“Yeah.”

A tear slips out of his eyes, and you notice they are beginning to turn red. You don’t know if your next words will make him feel better or worse, probably the latter, but you still say them.

“Not the same way I loved you, though. Don’t think anything can really compare to that. But I really do love him.”

It’s clear he tries to contain it, but still, a broken sob leaves him, and every fibre of your body yearns to soothe him, to protect him, but you can’t, just like he couldn’t protect you.

“Do you remember that last day? You told me to think of you when I was gone. How could you think I’d do anything but?”

“Tom, please.”

“I think about you every single day, Y/N, knowing that I made the wrong decision.”

He grips your hands again, this time so tight it turns his knuckles white with desperation.

However, you both know it’s not only your hands you’re talking about when you beg, “Let me go, Tom, you’re hurting me.”

His grip on your hand disappears immediately, his face painted with both sadness and guilt, and you don’t know who’s to blame for the fact that both of you have lost your best friend.

And you wonder if the two of you can work it out, if you can get at least an inkling of your old friendship back, but to be honest, you don’t have the courage to try.

Instead, you leave him there, in a coffee shop in London you used to love. And you know you will never have the strength to go back, not to the coffee shop and not to Tom, both places too haunted by bad memories now.

[reminiscing-writer]

Boys Can Be Victims Too

A while ago, I got to thinking about how I haven’t read many pieces on here where the guys are the victims to domestic violence- I realized I wanted to try to write something out.

Warning: domestic violence/abuse, harsh words, Reid crying

ALSO- just FYI- Im writing this as pre-prison Spencer, because I believe after prison Spence wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Whereas, before, he would be more vulnerable to just be loved. I just love this gif of him lol

—————

“O’Keefes, anyone?” Those two words leaving Morgan’s mouth was all it took for the whole group to start cheering. The team had just arrived back to Quantico office after a two week long case. Granted, everyone was beyond exhausted, but, they also wanted to unwind a bit.

A vary of ‘hell yes!’, ‘it’s on you!’, and ‘can’t wait’s, stir among the few of the group, as all the agents make their way towards the elevator doors.

Y/n shifts her bags shoulder strap, and as she’s about to get into the elevator, notices a missing presence. “Hey,” she glances around everyone’s faces, “Spence already down?” She asks.

Derek takes his shades off his face, and folds them onto the front of his V-Neck, “I think I heard him say he was too tired.” He gives a tired shrug.

She steps back out of the elevator, “I’ll meet you guys there, then. I’ll just check what’s up with him.” After giving a nod and wave, her colleagues leave and she turns back into the office.

Spencer has his back towards the large glass doors through which y/n enters.

“I know... yeah, I’m sorry.” She could barely hear him whisper, “I promise, I’ll make it up to you.” He scratches the back of his neck, “I love you.” He stays on the phone for a second longer before shoving it into his pocket.

Y/n clears her throat, not to startle him, and he turns around, “You not coming?” She cocks her head to him.

He shuffles his feet, and shakes his head, “No, uh- Emelie is waiting for me.” He smiles half-heartedly, avoiding eye contact.

Y/n smiles softly, happy hearing he has someone waiting for him at home, “That’s nice,” she bites the inside of her cheek, wishing it was her at home instead, “tell her I say hey.”

Spence almost scoffs lightly, “Yeah.” He breaths.

-

Because of the late arrival the day before, the team was off the following day. Y/n was making her way to Spencer’s home. He always loved the mozzarella sticks O’Keefes had as appetizers, and y/n couldn’t help but pack some as takeaway to give to him the next morning.

She knew they weren’t exactly going to be edible the next day, but she honestly just wanted a reason to see him.

Coming up the few steps leading up to his front door, she knocks softly, taking a step back. She plays with the top of the rolled up greasy paper bag in her hands.

The door opens— barely, and a familiar face peeks out. “Y/n? What- What are you doing here?” Spencer asks almost rushed.

She holds up the little baggie, a smile on her lips, “I got some of the mozzarella sticks you like so much.” She hands him the bag, “We missed you last night.” I miss you last night. She thought to herself.

“You really didn’t have to do that,” he takes a quick glance behind his shoulder, “thank you, though.”

Y/n couldn’t help but feel like Spencer didn’t want her there. “You want to maybe grab a bite later?” She offered, “I feel like we haven’t just hung out... in months.” She reminisces.

His eyes almost soften and a sad look glazes them, “I can’t,” he gulps, turning her down, causing her chest to ache, “maybe some other time.” He gives her an empty promise.

Y/n opens her mouth to try and continue a desperate conversation with her best friend, just to hear an unfamiliar female voice from behind Spence.

“Who is it, Baby?”

Spencer’s head whips around and in seconds he spits out, “Nobody,” he locks eyes with y/n, “just an office colleague.” He breaks eye contact, and looks down, “He was just leaving, though.”

Y/n furrows her brows slightly, trying to get an answer without saying anything. Without another word from her friend, he closes the door, and she’s left on the doorstep.

Spencer leans against the closed door, just to be greeted by a short haired blonde come out from the bedroom. He quickly hides the little bagged treat behind his back.

“Your friend gone?” She asks, cocking her head.

“Uh- Yeah. He just came by to grab some paperwork.” Spence licks his dry lips, and scratches the back of his neck, his one hand trying not to make the paper bag rustle behind him

“He couldn’t wait till tomorrow?” She asks, narrowing her blue eyes at him. Slowly walking towards him, he subconsciously cowers back into the door he’s up against. The bag squishes behind him.

He’s trying to form words, desperately trying to make a sentence, “It was for a case he’s on. He’s new on it, so he doesn’t know what he’s working on. It’s really no big deal. He’s got the info now, and he shouldn’t be back.” He rambles, swallowing hard, looking down at the girl standing inches apart from him.

She stares back at his brown eyes, showing no emotion. “Sweetheart,” she strokes his cheek. Even though her touch is soft, he still flinches slightly. “you know I don’t like when you lie to me.” Her words are spoken so quietly, a chill runs up Spencer’s spine. Her hand goes from his cheek up into his hair, and she grabs a handful of his hair, pulling him down to her height- causing his breath to hitch. She holds his face inches from hers, ripping the bag out from behind him. Not breaking eye contact, she throws the baggie across the room, causing to hit a wall, leaving a little grease trail as it falls down. Spencer’s breathing is heavy, and his eyes water- one, because his hair was being tugged so hard at the roots, and two, because he knew what was coming.

“We’ll talk about this after dinner, love.” She growls, her eyes dark. She let’s go of her grip on him in such a way, his head hits the door behind him with a bang, causing him to fall, groaning in pain.

-

It was hot. Of course it was, it was the middle of July. It was hot, and y/n, for the life of her, couldn’t fathom why Spencer would wear a sweater inside the office.

They were best friends Once Upon A Time, but lately, he had seemed to be ignoring her. And, y/n was taking full offense.

If she entered a room, he would politely excuse himself. If y/n spoke up during round-table discussions, Spence would make a point not to talk at all. The one that hurt y/n the most, was when he was standing in the break room all alone, and she purposely went in to try and figure out his problem.

She politely asked him if she had done something to upset him.

“No,” he spat back, pouring his coffee, “You didn’t do anything.”

“Sure feels like I did,” she steps closer, “You’re treating me like I hurt you. You’re being so mean-”

At that, he scoffs, and for the first time all day— for the first time in a long time, he looks straight at her. She’s taken aback at the sight of the dark under his eyes, and the red lining them. Had he been... crying?

“I’m being mean? Y/n,” he steps closer to her, “you don’t know the meaning of mean.” He says roughly. She searches his empty eyes, and hears a hurt in his voice. He steps around her, and she quickly turns with him.

“Spence, hold on-” She habitually grabs his wrist pulling him towards her. His sleeve shifts up, and her eyes catch a glimpse of discoloration on his arm.

Bruises. Tons of them.

Her eyes widen as he snatches his arm back, fixing his sweater. He leaves the breakroom and y/n chases after him. “Spencer!” She calls after him desperately.

He gets to his bullpen and places his coffee down. As she gets closer to him, he sternly says, “Leave me alone, y/n.”

“No.” Is all she answers, looking at him intently. His cheeks were sunken in, and his brown eyes had lost their glow.

He gives her a deathly glare from behind his locks, “I said,” he growls, sizing her up, pushing his shoulders back, “Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Absolutely,” y/n crosses her arms across her chest, “Fucking. Not.” She holds eye contact, “Confrence room. Now.” She growls back at him.

The two had attracted the attention of many of their colleagues. To everybody else, this seemed like what was needed for the two. Everyone knew that Spencer and y/n were like two peas in a pod. Everyone had also been noticing the drift between the two, and frankly, a little screaming would at least get out their frustrations.

“Y/n, I’m not in the mood for your bullshit-”

“Neither am I, Reid.” She spits his name back at him.

He huffs and stomps his way towards the empty room. Y/n follows right behind. Slamming the door behind her, it takes seconds for their voices to come out at top volume.

“What the hell is that?!” Y/n screamed first, motioning to his arm.

“None of your goddamn business, that’s what!” He fired back.

“Spencer, if someone is hurting you, it is my business!” Spencer shakes his head, pacing the room. Huffing and puffing, he runs a hand through his hair. “Spencer,” y/n repeats sternly, yet slightly calmer than before, “what’s going on?” Her eyes are trained on the man before her.

His hands start to shake, and gulping, he uneasily pulls at the bottom of his sweater. “It- it was just one time.” He says barely above a whisper. His eyes dart everywhere but to meet y/n.

Y/n peers at him, and steps closer, “What are you talking about?” She urges.

“She was just having a bad day,” he stops pacing, and turns away from his friend, “it was my fault, I got her upset even though she told me exactly what to do.” Spencer’s eyes started to water, and he quickly sniffles and wipes at nose and eyes- and basically his whole face.

Y/n’s heart sunk. She didn’t know how to react. She had always confronted the female victims whenever they were on a case, but never in a million years had she thought she would be having this conversation with her best friend- much less, her best guy friend.

“Spence,” y/n spoke barely above a whisper, “does Emelie hit you?” She didn’t want to believe it. Hell, neither did Spencer.

Spence quickly turns around, his eyes red, and his face already streaked in tears, “No! No, no, no. I told you, it was just once.” He sounded so desperate, as if clinging onto some false hope.

“Spencer, you know better than what you’re saying.” Y/n spoke slowly, “She’s abusing you.”

She could physically see Spencer’s bottom lip wobble, “No,” He squeaks out, shaking his head, “no, she’s not. She loves me. She tells me every day.” He hides his face behind his sleeve covered hands.

Y/n sees his shoulders shaking, and although her own chest aches, and eyes water, she cautiously wraps him in a hug. “She doesn’t love you, Spence. You don’t hurt the ones you love.” Y/n whispered softly.

“She loves me.” He whispers brokenly.

“No, Spence,” y/n repeats, “she doesn’t. She’s using you.”

The tall man wrapped his arms around his friend, burrowing his face into her neck. “I don’t know what to do.” Y/n hears him softly mumble into her neck.

She soothingly rubs his back, “It’s alright, we’ll figure this out.” She whispers to him.

I’m gonna kill her. Is the only thought running through y/n’s head. I’m gonna kill the woman who made the man I love cry.

-

Ew this is so bad I’m so so sorry I started off with so many intentions and ideas but ughhhh

[wienerbarnes]

Guardian

Pairing: Demon!Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 2,119

Warnings: Mention of cancer, maybe angst?, fluffy thoughts at the end, sometimes i feel like these warnings are spoilers sometimes, ya know? 

Prompt: “no, no, no. don’t fear me. everyone fears me.” (bolded)

A/N: this is my submission for the love of my life, @thefvcker-tucker‘s #freaky500wc <3 i loveeeee the idea of this theme bc im a total whore for supernatural and scary stuff ;) go follow my angel, doll!!! she’s amazing and a total babe :) oneshot continued under the cut!

You wield the wooden bat tightly in between your fists, raised and ready to strike, despite how shaky your hands are. Bare toes silently creeping along the floorboards of the hallway of your apartment, feet slowly leading you to your kitchen where the loud bang and clinks of things falling from your counter and to the floor were heard. The oversized shirt that hangs off of your frame causes goosebumps to raise on your legs as the hem brushes against your thighs, or at least you attribute your goosebumps to that and not the possible intruder in your home. Could it be rats? Absolutely. Perhaps maybe even a bird flew in through an open window when your weren’t looking.

You would consider these possibilities if it weren’t for the “Shit!” that was whispered following the cluttering from whatever fell.

The closer you get to your kitchen, the louder everything is. Your heartbeat. Your breathing. Is that the sweat trickling down your neck that you hear? The loudest thing in the apartment, though, is the labored huffing as whoever is in your kitchen picks up your things from the floor and tries to set them on the counter as quietly as possible. You try your hardest to concentrate and focus your hearing, picture where this person is standing in your kitchen as to prepare yourself to attack, even though a battle with a stranger at three in the morning in the middle of your apartment isn’t something you think you’ll ever be prepared for.

You let out three harsh but quiet breaths before forcing your body around the corner and meeting eyes with the robber. You let out a yell as you whack the man across the face with your bat with as much strength as you can muster. He lets out a loud grunt and falls the floor, blood that’s almost black in color sprays across the wall and he groans on the floor. You let out another yelp as an overwhelming amount of adrenaline pumps through every vein in your body. You continue your screaming as you run back down the hall and into your bedroom, slamming the for behind you.

Turning the lock, you drop the bat and scramble around the room in search of your cellphone. Throwing your blankets across the floor in frustration you realize it’s sitting on your coffee table from when you were watching a movie earlier.

“Fuck!” You whimper, realizing you’re locked in your room with nowhere to go while a stranger roams around your apartment.

“Hey! Hold on! Wait!” You hear from the man, voice getting louder as it nears your bedroom. Your breaths come out of your body quicker and quicker; you feel as though your lungs are about to burst. You quickly gather your blankets as a shield and crawl towards the farthest corner of your room.

Your heart catches in your throat as you see the knob turning as the intruder tries to open the door.

“Open the door!” He pleads with you, the knob turning with force as though he hopes it will suddenly unlock by itself.

“Take whatever you want! Please, just don’t hurt me!” You yell back, voice cracking near the end of your beg, the fear overcoming your entire body as tears fill your eyes. You attempt to muffle your hiccups, tears falling from your eyes faster and faster as he continues to turn the knob.

“No, no, no. Don’t fear me. Everyone else fears me.” He whispers, the knob finally stilling and you hear a small movement, as though he situates himself on the floor.

He lets out a long and deep sigh, one that sends exhaustion through your whole body, you feel an immense cloud of tiredness and defeat rise over you, as if he somehow sent everything he was feeling to your body.

“Ugh, you don’t understand. I’m trying to help you, we’re both in trouble and I don’t know how to explain it.” He vents, a small thump heard against the door, his head, you assume.

Bucky has no idea what to do. Slumped on the floor against the door, shirt soaked with his black blood from his now broken nose, there wasn’t a worse way this could’ve gone. He doesn’t feel the pain in his nose anymore; it’s stopped bleeding soon after impact was made and it’ll set itself soon enough. He’s been a demon for a very long time and, although he knows the ins and out of pretty much everything he’s capable of, he’s never really gotten the hang

“We’re… connected.” He tries to begin, but shuts his eyes when he hears your heartbeat quicken. Great, now you probably think he’s some stalker who thinks you two are “meant to be” or something.

“That wasn’t right, uhh,” He corrects. “I’m a demon. Your demon, specifically.” He finally lets out.

“And I know it’s crazy and I know theres a lot of conspiracy about the whole existence of demons and what not and I really don’t want to scare you but, I really need you to hear me out; both of our lives are on the line.” Bucky explains.

He hears you slowly creep closer towards the door and although you don’t lean yourself on the other side as he is, you do put yourself significantly closer to him. His anxiety begins to lower as he hopes he’s getting through to you.

“What do you mean?” You quietly whisper, so quiet he barely heard it. He can hear that your crying has stopped, but your heart hasn’t exactly slowed back to normal.

“Uhh… which part?” Bucky calmly asks.

“The demon part.” You answer, answer slightly muffled by the blanket you’ve wrapped around yourself and covered your face with.

“Oh. So, uhh, everybody has one. Like, sorta how everyone has a guardian angel, everyone has a guardian demon, too. Like the angel and devil on your shoulder, those are real.” He treads lightly, terrified of scaring you again and not being able to get your help at all.

He doesn’t hear any changes in movement or heartbeat or breathing or anything, so he continues.

“How they work, though, is, um,” Bucky pauses, trying to find the simplest words to explain the whole system to you in your scared state. “You know how I said before that we’re connected? Well, when you die, I will die, too. And then… I don’t know what happens after that.” He trails off.

He hears you crawl the rest of the way to reach the door and rest your back against it, matching his position. He plays with a thread on his shirt as he feels the heat radiate through the door and on his back.

“And you said we were both in trouble? Am I dying?” You question, voice still tight and filled with confusion, but intrigued as to what this could mean for your life, that is, if Bucky’s telling the truth.

“Yes,” Bucky answers after a pause of silence. “You have cancer, but it can be treated if you do something about it early. That’s why I’m here; I came to warn you.” He finally tells you, turning his body slightly to rest the side of his head against the door.

He can hear that you’re breathing has slowed as you process the information he just told you.

“So, what, you just don’t want to die yet? Is that it?” You accuse, throat tightening again as your body feels more and more exhausted the longer you sit here listening to this man talk.

Bucky takes a moment to think and gather his thoughts in order to express them correctly. “You’re a really great person. I mean, you do so much for your family, your friends, your job, strangers you meet on the street. Like when you paid for that lady’s coffee the other day at that shop you go to every morning,” He stops himself when he hears your breath hitch. “I’m not ready to die, again. I didn’t live the best life when I was alive and now I get to watch someone else live such a fulfilling life, a life full of meaning where you actually have people care for you, where you’re actually making a difference. I don’t want to give that up just yet. And I don’t want you to have to give up anything, either. You don’t deserve that.” Bucky finishes, emotion piling up in his chest at the thought of losing you and ending up who knows where after he dies, again.

“I’ll… I’ll go to the doctor in the morning.” He hears you sniffle.

“But, if I’m being honest, there’s absolutely no way I’m opening the door, regardless if you’re telling the truth. Demon or not.” You inform him and he lets out a watery chuckle, incredible grateful that you’ll get yourself checked out.

Bucky feels so much happiness in his chest at the thought that he might’ve saved you because of his intrusion tonight. It feels good to actually help someone instead of hurt them, especially help someone as great as you. He clears his throat to compose himself, but his heart is still jumping for joy in his body.

“That’s understandable.” He assures you. “I guess my work here is done; I’ll, uh, leave you alone, then. We’re not really supposed to communicate, but, I wasn’t going to sit around and watch you and not do anything.” Bucky picks himself off the ground but the sound of your voice stops him from walking back down the hall.

“What’s your name?” You ask quickly, as though he’ll disappear forever no that he told you what he needed to.

“Bucky. My name’s Bucky.” He responds. He feels bittersweet. He’s upset with the way he scared you. And he’s upset that you’re sick. And he’s upset that he probably won’t ever see you again; it just isn’t allowed. But he’s so happy to have been able to help you; to have warned you. You’re going to be okay. And so will he.

“Thank you, Bucky.”

…

You don’t leave your bedroom until about two in the afternoon. Everything that happened during the night thoroughly tired out your body. You pulled yourself out of bed and gathered the blanket around your body to hold onto whatever heat is left in the seams. You drag your feet to the door and notice the lock still turned up. A shiver runs down your spine as you’re reminded of the image of a tall man standing in the dark shadows of your kitchen.

“There’s no one here,” You reassure yourself, “C’mon, you gotta go to the doctor.” You try to push yourself.

You twist the lock and open the door before you can try and convince yourself to hide in bed all day. Your hallway is lit by the creaks in your windows from your living room that let the morning light shine through. You slowly make your way to the kitchen and feel a wave of relief when you find it empty. You also notice something else.

The pans that woke you up during the night when Bucky showed up were now stacked neatly on top of your stove and Bucky’s blood that splattered on the wall when you swung at him was now gone. In fact, your kitchen is spotless. The stove scrubbed, the countertop wiped down, cabinet doors rid of any dust. And a note.

You step closer to the counter where the note lays and see a rough drawing of a smiley face with devil horns with the messy scrawl underneath: Good luck. Love, Bucky.

You smile and pick up the note and tape it onto your fridge before walking back down the hall. A small part of you wishes he was still around, standing in your kitchen awkwardly gathering pots and pans from the ground and stumbling around your apartment tripping over his own words while talking to you. You wish you weren’t so afraid of him yesterday. You wish you would’ve been able to talk to him more; how he died, who your guardian angel was, what was hell like, if that’s even where he came from. Maybe someday you’ll be lucky enough to cross paths with him again. Or rather, perhaps he’ll cross your path again, with some loud and obnoxious entrance in the middle of the night. Although you were so incredibly terrified a couple of hours ago, you don’t mind the idea of his presence and the fact that he’s always been watching over you, even if he was the reason behind the bad decisions in your life.

Somewhere, you just know Bucky’s smiling at you. And you smile, too.

Tags: @thefvcker-tucker @gagmebucky @hannie-writes-marvel @angel-fire

[ain-t-bovvered]

15x04 Commentary

bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)

Hello and welcome:

@purpleskiesandcherrypies​  (Nat)

@dean-winchesters-bacon​  (Kat)  

@waywardbaby​  (Zee)

@ain-t-bovvered  (Giulia)

Giulia: Ok so in my haste of things i just spilled all my hot coffee on my self.  I’m burning but the ep is ready. But fuck

Kat: Oh shit. Go rinse with cold water

Zee: You alive ??

Giulia: No i burned my self with coffee

Nat : Where did you spill it

Giulia: Leg

Nat : You need a minute?

Giulia: No i think I’m good

Zee: Any blisters ?

Giulia: Well i’ll see tomorrow won’t I.  Whatever just start the episode I’m already angry. Just...start the ep so I can deal with the mess later on , can’t wait for that

Nat : ok

Nat : 3

Nat : 2

Nat : 1

Nat : go

Nat : "We're gonna be free"

Giulia: No i don t wanna see this again

Zee: Becky ?

Giulia: Gasps

Zee: Wtf?

Nat : is

Nat : that

Kat: BEARDED DEAN BEARDED DEAN BEARDED DEAN

Giulia: AAAAAAH

Nat : AHHHHHHHHH

Giulia: jesus christ

Nat : BAMF

Giulia: Yes please

Nat : I THINK I'M WET

Kat: I KNOW I AM FUCKING HOTNESS IS WHAT IT IS

Giulia: YUM

Nat : I JUST SQUIRTED?

Zee: Are you asking ?

Nat : I'M NOT SURE IT'S ALL WET

Giulia: THE FUCK THE FUCK

Nat : FUCK

Nat : I'M NOT OK

Giulia: I HATE HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS

Nat : IT'S MORE THAN I HOPED FOR

Giulia: YES

Giulia: YES SAME

Kat: SO MUCH BAMF BEARDED DEAN

it’s what we deserve

Giulia: FUCK AAAAAAH

Nat : LUMBERJACK

Kat: BBBEEENNNNNNNNYYYYYY

Zee: Benny?

Giulia: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Nat : BENNY

Giulia: BENNY

Nat : I KNEW IT

Giulia: BEEEENNY

Nat : BENNYYYYYY

Giulia: NO

Nat : I TOLD YA

B: I'll see you on the other side, brother

Giulia: NOT THE SAME LINE

Zee: I can’t type

Nat : I'M CRYING

Zee: Bye

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Giulia: FUCKING HELL

Nat : OK BACK TO THE BEARD

Giulia: NO WHERE

Nat : THE VOICE

Kat: SAME THING HE SAID BEFORE HE WENT INTO DEANS ARM

Giulia: FUCK OFF

Nat : HE CAN LITERALLY HAVE ANYTHING HE WANTS

Nat : WHY ARE WE ALL SCREAMING

Giulia: AAAAAAH

Kat: FUCK HES SUCH A BADASS

Zee: OHHH FUCK

Nat : SHIT

Giulia: HATE THAT

Nat : CAN WE HAVE A PARALLEL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS BAMF

Kat: BOYKING DEMON SAM

D: What you did to them...what you did to Bobby...to Jody...

S: They tried to stop me. But I will not be stopped.

D: Sam, you listen to me.This is the demon blood. You have to fight it!

Giulia: JENSEN MY GOD

Nat : SHIT

S: Why would I do that?

D: Sammy Please

Giulia: MY GOD I CAN T

Nat : "SAMMY" I HATE IT WHEN HE SAYS IT

Giulia: SAMMY PLEASE

Nat : SAMMY PLEASE

Giulia: HOW ABOUT NO

Nat : NO

Giulia: WOW OK

Nat : FUCK YOU SAM

Kat: OUCH

Nat : Is that chucks book

Kat: And bye bye bearded Dean. Gone too soon

Already missed

Giulia: Well Sam do see his shit now

Nat : The beginning with Dean sounds like something I would write

Nat : I WANT MORE OF THAT DEAN

Giulia: Don t we all

S: Dean, you know I don't eat --

Is Sam vegetarian now?

Nat : VEGGIE BACON

Zee: VEGGIE BACON

Nat : WHY ARE WE STILL SCREAMING

S: "I don't want any of that hippie, Sarah McLaughlin grass-eater crap in the Meat Man's kitchen."

Giulia: MEAT MAN

Nat : THE MEAT MAN DOES HE KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?

Zee: ARE WE ALL GONNA BE TYPING IN CAPITALS?

Giulia: YEAH

Kat: It means he has a big dick

Nat : I KNOW, BUT HE DOESN'T

Nat : Anyway, I'm done watching am I not? That's it. That's the whole episode

Kat: My boys need hugs

D: Look, man, I get it, okay? With Jack...and Rowena..

Giulia: ARE WE GONNA ADRESS

Giulia: SEEMS NOT

Giulia: OK FINE, IT’S FINE, WE’RE FINE

Kat: What

 Zee: What?

Giulia: Nothing . We just gonna push it down in true Winchester style. 

Nat : Of course not, it's a filler episode

Kat: Oh, I think I know If it’s what I think, it’s not mentioned at all

Giulia: What else is new

S: That’s real bacon

D: You're damn right it is

meat man

Nat : Ok bye guys

Kat: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN

Nat : I WANT TO THINK THAT I SAW EVERYTHING I WANTED

Zee: No you didn’t

Kat: But it’s Jensen’s last ep. And I really like it.

Giulia: Anyway

Nat : lAcrOsS

Zee: The end of the world

Zee: He knows

Nat : The little prayer thing at half time

Kat: Ugh parents

Nat : me talking to someone

Nat : SIR CONTAIN YOUR EYEBROWS

Zee: That’s awesome

Giulia: That’s awesome

Giulia: Ok but u know what i don’t like about filler eps tho. That they are like these oases outside of everything where seems like things don’t matter .... Whatever

Nat : Gag me

Zee: Kinky

Nat : please do

Kat: What she said

Nat : SHOULDER TO HIP RATIO

Giulia: Oh the flask again.  What esle is also new, this day is already ruined anyway

Kat: So good

Nat : also it's been shot in the beginning, I hardly think that Jensen knew what happened the episode before that.

Zee: Why is dean drinking and eating all the time?

Nat : don't you do that?

I mean....same

S: We keep them from dealing with the truth, with what's out there, and we carry the weight. It's great. They have no idea What's out there.

Kat: Sammy is a little disillusioned

Giulia: OH WHAT

Nat : oh no

Zee: Becky?!

Giulia: awe

Kat: She’s so normal now

Nat : There's something wrong with Becky

Zee: Great

Giulia: No fuck off

Nat : Ah, there it is

Kat: Not with her lol

Nat : God is fucking desperate

Giulia: That’s not everybody’s else problem tho so can he fuck off

Zee: Somebody’s got a fetish

Kat: Okay Dean

Nat : Don't we all

Kat: Cheerleader fetish lol

Nat : Mine is Dean

Kat: Many

Giulia: Of course she is

Giulia: Oh becky

Nat : mY WOrK

Zee: Oh honey

Nat : A little obsessed

Giulia: Oh honOh look she is us after the show ends

Nat : What show ends?

Kat: The one you’re not watching

Kat: At least she’s not a complete wackadoodle now

Nat : A little bit of a falling out

Zee: Poor God,  Nobody wants to hang out with him

Nat : God is a fucking child throwing a tantrum

Kat: Because he’s a douche

Giulia: Awe that’s so pathetic it’s almost cute

Nat : It sounds wrong

B: I am married to an amazing man, I have two great kids,and I like myself, Chuck. For the first time in a long time, I like myself. So I don't need you.

YOU GO GIRL

Nat : you do you, becky

Zee: By Becky nonetheless

G: You don't need me. No one does.

Zee: Boo fucking hoo

G: I feel so lost.

Kat: Oh shut up with the pity party chuck

B: Then, Chuck, you have to write.

Giulia: Oh no he doesn t

Nat : Dean is eating his way through the episode

Kat: Rob plays annoying so well

Kat: thicc arms

Giulia: Sure she wants to help you lol

Kat: Dean with the slow clap

Zee: That smile

Nat : I can't with Dean's eyebrow this episode

Giulia: Felt that

Kat: I need wine lol

Nat : It's the dad?

Giulia: Wow

Nat : Anything stronger than what? Water?

Zee: What does he want with Becky ??

G: I mean, I used to be able to see Sam and Dean in my head, wherever they were, whatever they were doing. It was all just there, ripe for the picking. And now it's just gone.

Nat : oh god, chuck annoys the fuck out of me

Nat : throw him out, becks

Giulia: Hey

Zee: Fan fic isn’t the same ?? Excuse you dick

Nat : I read EXPOSE your dick

 Kat: I wish she wouldn’t push him to write

Giulia: Awe look at that maniac stare

Kat: Bad idea

Giulia: Ew no

Kat: Of course

Nat : Ah, it's both of them

Nat : Sam walks in with a puppy look

Kat: He looks like that the whole ep

Giulia: How they know

Zee: TheY seriously need to control their ducking faces

Zee: Fu

D: We're not FBI.

Giulia: Well that was hot

Nat : Where did he keep the machete

Nat : in his pants?

IN HIS MEAT MAN PANTS 

Kat: A holster under his many layers

Giulia: Not great

Nat : The way he says Sammy

Kat: JUST WAIT

Nat : But right at his ass

Zee: FOCUS

Kat: She is. On his ass.

Nat : I can't. I wanna see how he pulls it out from another angle

Zee: What she said

Nat : finger guns

B: No one even mentions Cass.

Giulia: AH

Zee: Thanks Becky

Giulia: I LIKE BECKY

Nat : Becky gets it

Giulia: chuck angry

Kat: SHUT UP BECKY

Nat : Ah no,

Giulia: Fuck. No thanks

Nat : I give you danger

Zee: Fuck you becky

NO, WE LIKE HER NOW

Nat : get off my dick god

Nat : Ah

Kat: Now you know

Nat : Well

dad: You don't have children, do you? Because if you did, you would know that to see your child in pain rips your heart out. And you'd know that you'd do anything. You'd die for them.

Giulia: AH but he does. They all do

Nat : He had a child, thank you very much

Giulia: JACK

Zee: And Ben

Nat : EMMA

Giulia: Meh whatever

Giulia: Hate this

Kat: This whole thing is sad

Nat : I mean, I kinda feel for them

Zee: The kid wants to do good

snorts.....like Jack....lol ring any bell?

*sound of someday starts to play*

Nat : AH

Giulia: AAAAAH

Zee: NOOOOOOO

Nat : SOUNDS OF SOMEDAY

Giulia: FUCK

Nat : WHAT

Giulia: STOP

Nat : MY GOD

Giulia: SOB

Nat : Great, now I will associate it with that scene?

Giulia: UGH

Zee: IM DEAD

Giulia: WOW OK

Nat : I'm sads

Zee: SHIT

Giulia: WELL OK

Nat : It's so sad

Giulia: oh no this is so sad. This shot is beautiful tho

Nat : Cuz it's true, the lengths parents are willing to go

Giulia: Chuck fuck off

Zee: FUCK YOU CHUCK

Nat : CHUCK SHOULD FUCKING GET OFF OUR DICKS

Giulia: Yeah it is dark af

Kat: IT GETS SO BAD GUYS

Giulia: Nice

Kat: HOLD ME

Zee: FUCK YOU

Nat : GO TELL HIM BECKY

Kat: Winchester 😭

Zee: WHYVIS BECKY US ?

B: You can't do this to the fans.

Nat : It's good right?  Fuck off

Giulia: I already hate this

Kat: OH NO OH NO OH NO

Nat : Ah no

Giulia: OH COME ON

Nat : WTF

Giulia: CHUCK

Nat : FUCK YOU

Kat: IT GETS WORSE

Nat : FUCK YOU CHUCK

Zee: I can’t

Giulia: Ah babe dean already did that. Remember when Dean prayed to God about Mom, Crowley and Castiel? lol Bet this fucker made the exact face , maybe munching on popcorn 

Nat : WHAT IS THIS SHIT

Giulia: and we are at 5 goodbyes . So: Kevin, Ketch, Rowena, Becky, Benny

Nat : I SHOULD HAVE STOPPED WATCHING IN THE BEGINNING AFTER THE RIDICULOUSLY HOT DEAN

Kat: See she shouldn’t have encouraged him

Giulia: With my leg burning

Zee: Shut up both of you

Nat : Go look after your leg

Kat: Now for the BM scene

Giulia: My room smells like coffee

Zee: Not bad

Giulia: Coffee i did not drink

Nat : Ah stop it Dean

Giulia: Why they look so much all over the place tho

S: we'd have done the same thing. For Jack. If we had the chance.

I can’t decipher Dean’s expression right now . idk.

D: I get it. We have lost way, way too much. And it's hard not to feel like just...cashing out. I felt like that.  After Chuck, back at the crypt. But you know what brought me back?  You did. By sayin' that what we do still matters. I mean, that's why I wanted to drag us out here  That's why I wanted to -- to work a case, to save lives, you know? 'Cause it is -- it's a -- it's a crap job.  We do the ugly things so that people can live happy.

S: lucky them

D: We still do the job. But we don't do it for us We did it for Jack,  for Mom, for Rowena. We owe it to anybody who has ever gave a damn about us to keep putting one foot in front of the other. No matter what. And, hey, man, like you said, now that Chuck's gone,

Giulia: AH THEY THINK

D: we're finally on our own.  We are finally free to... move on, you know?

Nat : Sam with his stupid puppy face

S: I can't forget any of them. Dean, I still think about Jessica. I -- I can't just let that go.

Giulia: aw sam

Kat: I still think about Jessica

Zee: Someone hug Sam

Kat: Damn it not the hearts

Kat: Sammy is broken af 😭

Nat : "I can't even breathe"

Nat : Same, Sam

Giulia: Hate this

Giulia: Hate

S : But maybe tomorrow. You know, maybe I'll -- I'll feel better in the morning.

Giulia: Can sam stop crying

Giulia: Asking for a friend

Nat : Can Sam just stop Period

Kat: Ugh chuck again

Giulia: Asshole

Nat : We all know it

Zee: I hate it

Nat : Promo?

Nat : So young,  and the way he's so full of himself "obviously", so proud

Giulia: So cocky

Giulia: Bastard

Kat: Makes me giggle bc the fandom always says he doesn’t age

Zee: I can’t wait for the million red gifs

Kat: I’ve already reblogged a few sets

Zee: I saw

Kat: And made a post about his beard

Kat: Did you look before the episode?

Zee: I can’t hear you. I’m entering a tunnel 

Why am I not even a bit surprised.

Zee: I’m talking about the gifs Giuls will start slapping us with

Giulia: Idk I don t feel like it. I’d would love to make them nicer BUT NO ONE I ASKED TOLD ME HOW so....

Nat : I’ll rewatch the first 5 minutes and keep on squirting

Zee: TMI bb?! lol

Nat : Is there anything like TMI with us?

.

NO, there ain’t

.

.

.

.

If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.

TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl​  @destiel-honeypie​      @mariekoukie6661​      @dragontamerm​       @closetspngirl​    @rainflowermoon​     @mattiecat​       @bunnybaby121115​  @aliaitee2​    @jacks-word-of-the-day​     @4evamc​       @dammitsammy​     @legendary-destiel​   @winchesterprincessbride​    @destielhoneybee​    @castiellover20   @ravenhg​ @evvvissticante​ @emoryhemsworth​

[mandowh0re]

Baby For a Week

Day 2 Part 2

Fandom: Avengers MCU

Summary:  Loki decides it would be funny to turn Peter into a two year old, thrusting Tony into the life of an actual parent for a week. Is he ready?

Word Count: 1383

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, angst

A/N: I’m,,, updating??? HI GUYS! Also, I made Stucky a thing in this. Sorry not sorry.

Happy Reading!

Part 1.1/ Part 1.2/ Part 2.1/ Part 2.2

It was a relatively quiet evening after May left. Peter went down for a nap on his own and Tony took him and placed him in the crib along with the Iron Man plushie and puppy.

Deciding takeout would be a good idea after everyone tired themselves out playing with Peter, Tony ordered Chinese food to the Compound.

“So, how’s dad life treating you?” Natasha asked, before popping a piece of orange chicken in her mouth.

Tony shot her a glare, “I’m not-”

“Oh for the love of God!” Bucky slammed his flesh hand down on the table, “If I hear you say you’re not the kid’s dad one more time I’ll slap Steve,” he jerked his thumb to the man next to him.

“Um excuse me, don’t bring me into this!” Steve’s hands flew up.

Bucky ignored his boyfriend’s protest, “You literally walk, talk, and act like Pete’s dad twenty-four-seven. I’m pretty fucking sure the only person who doesn’t realize that is you.”

Steve quickly slapped Bucky upside the head at the same time Natasha kicked him under the table and Sam scream whispered, “Dude!”

Tony blinked a few times before his brain caught up with him.

“What did you just say?”

Bucky’s eyes got wide and they shot around the table.

“I no longer feel safe in this environment.” he said as he slumped in his seat.

“Oh now you’re intuition works.” Natasha hissed.

“Barnes,” Tony said, “What did you mean by that?”

It was silent for a few seconds before Bucky rolled his eyes and sat back up, “Well there’s no point in hiding it now!”

“It’s not your secret to tell, Buck.”

“I’ll get murdered either way. I’d rather get murdered by the spider.”

“You’re gonna make the kid cry.”

“He made us promise, Barnes.”

“Hey!” Tony yelled, getting everyone’s attention, “I’d like to know what secret my supposed spider child is keeping from me. So if you be so kind as to enlighten me,” he raised a brow.

Before anyone could stop him, Bucky blurted, “Petercallsyoudadwhenyouarentaroundto-.”

Tony choked on his spit at the same time Steve tackled Bucky to the ground..

“That’s a bold faced lie,” He said, but with such uncertainty that is came out painfully wavered.

His eyes flickered to Bruce, who just shrugged.

“FRIDAY?”

“Sergeant Barnes is telling the truth. I could not tell you because Peter convinced me not to.”

There were so many things swirling in Tony’s head right now.

How long had this been going on? Was it an accident at first? He really hasn’t fucked up with Peter? How had the kid manipulated Tony’s own AI to withhold information?

So he just avoided it altogether.

Turning to Barnes he said, “Can I at least say it one more time for the satisfaction of seeing Rogers get slapped?”

The look on Bucky’s face was pure evil.

***

That night, Tony was woken up by Peter screaming his lungs out.

Pepper had left on a business trip earlier in the evening to China, so he was left to his own devices.

Looking over the paper May had given him, she listed a few reasons as to why Peter may throw a tantrum.

Ear infection

Sick

Overly tired

Frustrated

Peter had an enhanced healing factor that made it damn near impossible for him to get sick, and he was sleeping. So all of those possibilities flew right out the window.

Tony had been bouncing the boy and cooing at him for the last ten minutes but nothing even caused Peter to let up on the screaming. And because he was screaming, he couldn’t communicate to Tony what was wrong.

“FRIDAY, can you scan him to see if there’s anything wrong that I’m missing?”

“I have already done so three times, boss. I cannot find anything physically wrong with him. Perhaps you should call Bruce up to look at him.”

“Right, right, okay. Can you have Bruce meet me in the med bay?”

“Will do.”

Tony grabbed puppy and the iron man plushie that the kid now called “kitty”, which the others made fun of Tony endlessly for.

“I don’t see him clutching to a stuffed version of any of you shit heads.”

When he got to the med bay, Bruce was already there in his pajamas with a white lab coat on.

The screaming child in Tony’s arms made him wince, “Mam, FRIDAY wasn’t messing around.”

“Does she ever?” Tony asked as he walked over to the bed.

“Yeah, if you ask her to.”

“One time. That was one time and you all basically grounded me.”

Just as Tony went to set Peter on the bed, the screaming got impossibly louder and Peter latched onto Tony with his spider powers.

“Well shit.”

“Just sit on the bed and put him on your lap. He should be fine there.”

After an extensive check, Bruce finally concluded that there really was nothing wrong with Peter. Luckily, by the time he was finished, Peter had calmed down to the point of hiccups and sniffles.

“Peter,” Bruce spoke quietly, “Can you tell us what’s wrong?”

Peter clutched the stuffed toys tighter and looked up at Tony, his chubby cheeks red and stained with tear tracks.

Tony ran a hand through the boy’s curls and carefully wiped a stray tear away, “It’s okay buddy. You can tell us.”

Peter looked between tony and Bruce a few more times before settling into Tony’s lap.

“Bird.”

Wait what?

“What do you mean, bud?”

“Mean bird. Big a-and gween eyes. Hurt.”

“Peter, there aren’t any birds in the building,” Bruce tried to explain, but Peter shook his head violently.

“Drop me in water! Th-then big house fell down n I not move and nobody help!” Peter was beginning to hyperventilate.

“He’s talking about Vulture. Toomes. I think. I’m not sure what he means about the house though.” Tony told Bruce.

“So a nightmare.” Bruce stated.

“I thought he only remembered us and his powers. No events.”

Bruce shrugged, “Maybe he has memories of things in his sleep. It’s Loki. And it’s magic. Honestly, we have no way to control or predict anything from here. We just gotta play it by ear.”

“Wonderful,” Tony groaned, “Hey Pete. The big mean bird is gone, he isn’t gonna hurt you. It was just a dream. I promise you’re safe.”

Peter only whimpered in response, but Tony took that as an okay to take him back up to the penthouse.

“Sorry for waking you, Brucie.”

“Never a problem for Peter.”

“I see where I stand.”

“Against the world’s cutest kid? Yeah, you do.”

Tony chuckled but headed back to the elevator.

When he finally got Peter to fall back to sleep, Tony snuck out to the living room of his penthouse.

“FRIDAY, I wanna know what Peter meant by what he said earlier. Look for any collapsed buildings in New York City in the timeframe from when he first told Happy about Toomes to the night Toomes was arrested.”

“I have found five collapsed buildings reported within those constrictions.”

“How many are still open cases or listed as suspicious or unsolved?”

“Two.”

“How did each one fall?”

“One building was an old abandoned apartment that burned to the ground. No arrest has been made in the case, but it appears to be arson. The other was an abandoned parking garage, collapsed from possible structural integrity. No arrest has been made, but it happened the night of the plane crash. The call to emergency operators came in about twenty minutes before your plane crashed.”

Tony physically felt his heart drop into his stomach.

“Were there any security cameras around that night?”

A shop across the street had a camera with the garage partially in its frame. I’m pulling it up now.”

A video feed came over the tv screen that had a partial shot of the street, including the parking garage.

A few seconds played before a red streak flew through the frame.

“Stop. Rewind. Play that frame by frame and enhance the video.”

FRIDAY did as requested, and there on the screen was Peter, in his old homemade spiderman suit, swinging towards the garage.

Tony felt his heart beginning to beat faster. Faster than it should.

He watched patiently for another three minutes, before the structure collapsed.

***

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[midoriyaizukustan-inactive]

Angst ending- Deku focuses all the energy stored in OfA into his fist, including his own life force. He manages to defeat the villain, but not only his arm is ruined forever, but he manages to lift and clench it into a fist as a final gesture of victory, before dropping dead on the ground.

actual picture of me reading this ask:

HHH but,,,i can see this happening and ive actually thought abt smth similar

so im thinkin in the inevitable final battle we’re gonna have of ua vs. all for one and the league of villains, midoriya probably is gonna have to face off shigaraki and all for one all by himself (cause toshinori is not gonna be in any state to fight)(but i refuse to believe hs gonna be dead though nope no no)

maybe bakugou will be there for a couple of seconds but midroiya’s mostly gonna have to deal w it on his own

anyway so the nomus r the biggest problem. theyre strong and have absolutely no qualms abt hurting and killing ppl, and worst of all, they will not stop at anything unless u somehow manage to kill/incapacitate them bc they will Not stop obeying orders

and who gives them orders? shigaraki and all for one

midoriya picks up on this during their fight, so he’s trying as hard as he fuckign can to stop them bc holy shit his friends and teachers and schoolmates are all on the line and he CANNOT afford to mess this up

so as the battle wears on and as midoriya gets more exhausted, he realizes,,,theres only gonna be a couple ways to end this in his favor. and fuck, he’s so scared, he’s not even technically done with high school yet, he hasnt saved nearly enough people, but his friends, they need him to focus now, so-

so he starts building up one for all, but its gonna take time so he needs to figure out how he can distract all for one and shigaraki while he does this

so he talks and dodges attacks mostly bc he can’t attack at all if he wants a build-up of power

this leaves him,,,vulnerable,,,though,,,

shigaraki probs decays some of his chest nd hero suit, but its nothing midoriya can’t ignore for the time being. no, he’s mostly worried abt all for one, and if he’ll figure out what midoriya is doing

all for one does, in fact, figure out what midoriya is doing, bc this is exactly how his brother would act

so he does his power/red-black stabby quirk bs nd midoriya gets stabbed like three times (leg arm and shoulder) but still midoriya is holding on bc he needs their attention to stay on him so they cant give the nomus additional orders, nd also he needs to end this like yesterday

since midoriya is focusing on one for all, he can hear the other users’ voices. some of them are yelling at him, asking him what the hell he’s doing, doesnt he know he’s gonna kill himself?, some of them are shouting out directions for him to dodge and jump and run and anything to help keep him alive, and one voice (all for one’s brother) is telling him how to keep the power buildup so it wont rebound onto midoriya (…at least, not until it’s supposed to)

so midoriya listens, cause he cant really talk back to them to reassure them otherwise, nd he’s just. so exhausted honestly, and also his arm is starting to burn which is frankly the last thing he has time to worry about, but also it means it’s working, just a little longer-

midoriya feels smth click when his life force slides into the deal, nd all for one’s brother is kinda like “hey kid so problem” but midoriya still can’t talk back, and he can see his friends in the distance behind all for one and shiagraki on another part of the battlefield, and they look- they look-

theyre just as exhausted as he is, and theyre surrounded by nomu, and midoriya will not let them get hurt, so-

so he begins to charge, because when his life force connected with one for all’s power, he knew the build-up was ready to be used

all of the previous users are screaming at him for a hot second, before all for one’s brother gives midoriya directions on how and where to hit his brother to be most effective. midoriya ignores how sad and choked up he sounds cause he just doesnt have time-

just like all might, midoriya fakes one hit and parries with another; shigaraki is right next to them, a hand reaching out to disintegrate midoriya’s arm, so he gets caught up in the blast as well.

everything goes white for a moment and midoriya cant really feel anything for a split second.

then the world fades back in, and midoriya’s entire fucking body is burning, gaining intensity the closer you are to his arm. He’s almost certain his arm has been completely blown off, but when he opens his eyes, it’s still there.

horribly mutilated, but there. his hand is still curled into a fist, still punching all for one.

oh. all for one.

midoriya tries not to throw up at the sight.

yeah, he’s not getting back up again. the only problem is, midoriya thinks as he stumbles back a couple steps, he himself is probably not, either.

the force of the blow left him in a crater. he almost wants to cry, because dammit, everything is on fire; he knows that his entire arm and shoulder are broken, and it seems like everything else is not far behind. his nose and mouth are dripping blood, in addition to the flesh wounds on his chest (thanks, shigaraki) and the stab wounds from earlier bleeding like no tomorrow; how is he gonna climb out of here?

still, despite his grievances, midoriya shuffles forward, each step aching as he tries to claw out of the literal hole he’s punched himself into. he cant move the arm he punched with at all; his fist is still clenched.

still, he manages to heave himself up and out of the crater. the battle is at a standstill, is what he finds when he reaches the top.

some people have passed out from the sound, midoriya can see. jirou lies protected by yaomomo and kaminari as she tries to get her bearings again.

others have passed out due to the blast snatching oxygen away from them for a few precious moments. they’ll be fine, though, midoriya can tell; he can see kirishima’s chest rising and falling as he breathes unconsciously.

midoriya raises his gaze, exhuasted, to where his friends were in the distance, seconds before he punched all for one.

he can see shigaraki passed out, having hit the side of an upturned rock too hard, which was there thanks for pixie bob

his friends are okay. theyre stumbing to their feet, looking about, and he catches todoroki’s eye while they do so.

he smiles then, breathes out a sigh of relief – theyre okay – before raising his fist (the one that’s horribly mutilated; it hurts to move, but midoriya doesn’t care).

he starts falling back, then, and he can’t shift his feet to regain his balance.

he falls like a house of cards.

his breath rattles in his chest, and it’s how he knows he’s not long for this world, anymore.

he’s too exhausted to feel panicked, per se, but he- he’s gonna miss his friends so much, he’s gonna miss mom, toshinori-

tears start collecting in his eyes, but he’s too dehydrated to form enough of them that they can fall down his face freely.

he doesnt- fuck, he doesn’t regret doing it, he just-

he’s not going to last long enough for anyone to even get to him, he’s going to die with no goodbyes-

then the voices of the other users fill his head again.

their soft, sorrowful congratulations, reassurances that he did the right thing, and that dying is scary but it doesn’t hurt, and he’s going to be okay, wherever he ends up next.

it does little to ease the fear, but it does do something, so midoriya is thankful nonetheless.

im sorry, all for one’s brother says abruptly.

why?

my fight with my brother should never have ended at the cost of a teenager’s life.

midoriya can’t help but laugh a little then. he coughs up blood for it. if all it took was one life, i’m glad it was mine. i wouldnt want anyone else to fall to him.

and it’s true, midoriya isn’t lying, it’s just. he’s gonna miss his loved ones so much.

he closes his eyes, breathes out of a broken chest one more time. his lungs are too tired to inflate again.

distantly, he can hear his friends calling his name, but he’s just…so tired…

there are soft murmurings from the other one for all users, but midoriya can’t make them out anymore.

all he can really hear is a ringing in his ears, an echoing call of, “Midoriya!” but he cant…

he hasnt done nearly enough. he doesnt feel like he deserves this rest.

but…all for one is gone. surely he can take a few minutes for himself?

yes, that should be fine.

the world falls away.

[hellishvu]

Doodles and Feelings;

— i really wanted to write about peter but i couldn’t think of anything good… like at all so i decided to check out this website where i got this prompt from the website <- link here, and yes i did write this so long ago but my account of peter parker is messed up somehow and tumblr hates me so im posting it here hopefully it shows up in the TAGS- 

彡 where peter draws doodles of you two together but things end up mixed up when you find them.

“You don’t have to help me study, Y/N I swear I got it.” Peter says getting his keys from his backpocket, you rubbing his hair telling him to open the door anyway.

“With all your superhero stuff, as a friend I want to help you catch up.” You slouched on his couch, seeing the living room clean. Guessing Aunt May cleaned it before leaving so you two could study alone.

“Yeah just go ahead to my room and I’ll bring us snacks alright?” Peter says in the distance already walking to the kitchen, you nodded grabbing his backpack opening his bedroom door. You saw his desk with a bunch of markers and an open notebook.

You looked down seeing a picture (badly) drawn but you could make out what it was. It was him doing the iconic spider man kiss that was written in all newspapers and movies. You snickered but seeing the person giving the kiss was another male, couldn’t tell who it was.

Peter walked in with the snacks in his hand seeing what you were seeing, you snickered to yourself seeing Peter drop almost everything to cover the drawing.

“Come on you could’ve told me you had a crush on someone.” Raising an eyebrow, Peter looked at you utterly confused. Okay maybe he was bad at drawing but he wasn’t that bad was he?

“What do— I mean yes! Crush on a guy, you know… just crushing on a guy named… John.”

“Well Pete the John must be really lucky.” Peter smiles at you but in the inside he was dying, how could he not know it was you in the first place? How could he leave it out in the open also?

“Well no more doodles about lovey boy John it’s time to study.” Setting down the stacks of textbooks and Peter taking his notebook closing it and seeing the title “Peter’s obvious crush on Y/N” written by the famous Ned. Setting it down so only the back of the notebook was shown, protecting his secret love doodles.

Study time went by quite slow, seeing Peter almost passing out on you when you started talking quantum physicals. You felt his head lean on your shoulder, small snores coming from the guy softly sleeping. You never admit it but you love moments like these, when Peter comes back to you after all this superhero spider man stuff to just be vulnerable.

Aunt May came in, knocking before she opened the door. Seeing Peter sleeping on your shoulder you waved trying to help him by still doing his notes for him. Aunt May saw the notebook on the doodle notebook faced down but she knew all too well of the heart stickers that it was the notebook.

“Oh you must’ve found his cute doodles of you and him.”

“Him and I? You mean I and Him? Us?” Turning to Peter the small drool beginning to form, the brown curls he had, and the beautiful pink lips he had. Aunt May covered her mistake by awkwardly laughing backing away till she closed the door.

Peter woke up, rubbing his eyes. The half eaten apple he didn’t finish on the desk and the open bag of chips. Peter saw no trace of you but saw the notes perfectly done by yours truly. He looked through them all seeing you had highlighted every important thing or what would be on the test. He got to the last page seeing a date, time, and place.

Peter walked to the place seeing it wasn’t too far and telling Aunt May that he was going to meet the boy of his dreams that could possibly connect the dots to the drawing… well it wasn’t a good idea. He walked in the place seeing art supplies and two chairs with two canvas.

“Oh you made it!” You jumped out causing Peter to scream, you laughed at him while he whines. Peter wearing his green hoodie looking like he was ready for bed since it was so late. At least he wasn’t in his hello kitty pants.

“What is this? Aren’t they closed?” Peter asks seeing the building lit by candles so people didn’t think it was open and interrupt your time with Peter.

“Well I got some connections and boom we are here!” You smiled grabbing a tube of paint showing off that you bought the supplies. Peter sat down on the stool seeing the blank white canvas.

“Y/N you know I can’t do anything artistic like.” Passing the paintbrushes to him and the cup of water to clean the brushes. You grabbed a glob of paint on your brush plopping some paint on his nose. The vibrant color on his nose, seeing Peter gasp.

“Just draw what first comes to mind.”

“Kissing you, god kissing you comes to mind.” Thoughts of just throwing all this paint and kissing you came racing through Peter’s mind.

You started painting almost immediately, Peter shocked at how you came up with something already. You played soft music to hide the quiet empty art store. The paint somehow mixing and half of the time you’ve spent asking Peter where a certain color was before realizing it was right in front of you.

Peter spent most of his time looking into your eyes, your gorgeous eyes. Doing slow progress on the canvas because he couldn’t shake off you, how he saw how your hands gripped the paintbrush. He wanted to know how it felt to hold your hand.

A new song started playing in your music collection, the soft melody and the lyrics about falling love. The lyrics hit too close to home for Peter. The song about having a crush on someone. The lyrics sharing the same struggles that Peter has, the thoughts about you all day, wanting you to take the hint, and the frustration of not making a move. Peter could literally start to cry, he hummed trying to stop the tears but once one dropped then another did and he was full on sobbing. You stopped painting, getting off your stool holding him close.

“Hey what’s wrong? Did something happen? Are you tired?” Peter sobbed a little more into your chest his hoodie still up so you couldn’t touch his hair. God, did he want you to ran your hands through his curls though, you rubbed his back though drawing little circles with your fingers. The silent art store was now filled with soft melodies and Peter crying.

“Do you know how much you mean to me? How much you make my heart flutter? The nervousness when you’re so close to my face that I could just kiss you.” Peter looks up you embracing his face seeing the red puffy eyes.

“I like you so much. Drawing cute doodles in that notebook even if they were terrible, they were how I felt.” Peter’s weak voice from the crying grabbing the notebook from the backpack he brought along with him.

“Well funny you say that.” You rubbed the back of your neck, Peter sniffing when you turned around your canvas. The famous underside down kiss, but you had practiced a whole shit ton at home before this so the painting came out decent. The vibrant colors, the deep red of his suit and he saw you drew you embracing his face pulling him into that kiss.

He could tell who it was and that made him feel like cloud 9. You waited for a response of anything till Peter chuckled the weak voice slowly going away.

“I know I’m not a John but will you go out with me Peter?” Embracing him once again, rubbing his cheek with your thumb. The dry tears leaving marks and the bright smile coming from his face. It was worth the practice and the waiting.

“Of course. A 100% yes.”

[moonie-here]

Shaken to the Core-Chapter 1

Fandom: Thomas Sanders/Sander Sides

Summery: Logan and Roman make a mistake with deadly consequences. Can Patton right their wrong before Virgil is gone forever?

Warnings: Angst. Crying. Non-descriptive body horror. General sad feeling. Slight physical fighting.

Pairings: Platonic Moxiety

ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13874427

{°°°}

The cracks first appeared he was alone.

Virgil was sitting on his bed drawing and listening to My Chemical Romance when he felt it.

It was as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to his ribs and mercilessly beating him with it. A scream of pain wracked it’s way up his throat, but was muffled by the sleeve of his hoodie as he threw his hand over his mouth.

Oh god oh god ohgodohgodohgod.

He crawled off of his bed over to the mirror on his wall, small sobs coming from his lips  even with his hand over his mouth as he worked his way over slowly to the mirror.

He took a minute to gain focus and work past the pain before yanking his hoodie off and lifting up his shirt.

When he saw what was there a much louder sob pushed from between his lips.

Cracks.

Starting at his left hip slowly working their way up his abdomen and onto his chest. Something that looked like oil and blood dripped slowly from the newly formed crevices in his skin. Bruises were forming around the edges in shades of black, blue and yellow.

He let his shirt slip from his fingers and sat back on his knees. He finally caught his own reflections eye in the mirror. His makeup was smeared down his red puffy cheeks and exposed the heavy, purple bags under his eyes. His hair was messy from where he had grabbed his head in a state of panic. He looked like shit. He felt like it too.

“So this is how I go huh?” He whispered to the empty room.

...

“Not surprised.”

{°°°}

He figured out pretty quickly what was happening. Patton would avoid eye contact, Roman didn't talk to him and Logan would freeze every time he entered the room.

They didn't tell him. He didn't expect them to. It was supposed to be a secret between the three of them anyway. Why make it awkward?

Oh hey, by the way, I totally know you got Thomas is to take anxiety medication. Yeah, also it's totally gonna kill me. Anyway how's your day been?

Not happening.

Whenever he felt the cracks worsen he simply shut himself in his bathroom for as long as it took for it to stop and to clean himself up. The blood-oil stuff was a mess to clean up so he stopped trying to clean the bathroom after every “attack”. It was gross but at this point he didn't care. He was dying after all.

This happened consistently for a week before it really got worse. The cracks spread rapidly and Virgil spent most of his time in his bathroom, which was now covered in a layer of black sludge. He left only if he knew nothing was going to happen, which was almost never at this point. And despite the fact that Pat had tried to talk to him consistently over the last two weeks he felt...so alone.

{°°°}

Patton missed Virgil. Ever since Logan came to him and Roman with the idea of medication he felt...iky. Roman had been on board right away but Patton wanted to ask Virgil about it and the others wouldn't let him.

He felt wrong. Virgil was his best friend and he hated lying. He had rarely seen Virgil since this entire thing started and when he did Virgil looked on the brink of death. It had been two weeks since they had they had a proper conversation and oh, he just wanted to hug his son right now. He wanted to help Virge with whatever was going on and see if the pills had done anything bad.

Patton was curled up in his bed debating on going to tell Virgil what was going on. He’d tried to check on the other side before but Virge had always turned him away saying “I’m fine,” or “I’m just tired.”

In fact Patton was so wrapped up in his own thoughts he only snapped out when a violent, hysterical scream pierced through the tense air of the mind scape.

He shot straight up, throwing his quilt and several stuffed animals off of his bed. He swung his door open and rushed into the hall looking around widely until another scream pierced it's way into his brain.

His stomach sank.

The scream came from Virgil’s room.

{°°°}

Virgil felt it coming. After about two weeks he could feel it before it hit, like someone would just start slowly squeezing his kidney until pain took over his entire body. The cracks almost covered his body now. Up to his collarbone, forearms and ankles.

This one was different though. He could tell. His stomach twisted differently and his hands shook more than usual. The throbbing all over his body was more intense as well.

This was gonna be the last one.He felt tears gather in the corner of his eyes as he walked shakily from the bathroom to the desk in his room. He didn't want to sit down but his legs were giving out.

He slumped into the chair and pulled out a new sheet of lined paper and his favorite pen. He couldn't figure out what to write to the others. He wanted to say goodbye but he wasn't good at all this mushy stuff.

Fuck it.

He poured out everything he was thinking onto the paper until he had to flip it over for more room. Halfway down the second side the pain hit full force.

He tried to push up to make it to the bathroom but ended up falling onto the the floor, chair toppling right alongside him.

The pain was so much at once. It tore through him. Literally. He couldn't breath, he could barely think. He wanted it to end.

Make it stop oh god oh god please helpme helpme helpme i should have told them i dont wanna die please stop it it hurts

Tears ran down his face as he curled into a ball. He clenched his jacket’s sleeves looking for some release but all he felt was his fingers cracking and slipping on the weird sludge that was now soaking the fabric. He felt a scream claw its way up his throat.

…

Hands.

Hands were on him. Pulling his own fingers from where he clenched the hoodie till it tore. Someone was crying and holding him. Pushing his bangs from his forehead, as he felt tears land on his face. The person was singing to him with shuddering breaths. He wish he knew who it was. He couldn't sort out any real thought and his body was thrashing out of his control, jerking violently in every direction.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know dear how much i’ll love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.

Patton?

Virgil open his mouth to talk, only to start hacking up black sludge. The taste of mud and iron worked its way up his throat and passed his lips. I can't breathe!

The coughing, pain and cracking went on for what felt like hours. The presence of two others appeared by his side only to be pushed back by what he assumed was Patton. It took all of his strength but he managed to pull his eyelids apart. He locked eyes with Pat.

“V-virgil? Kiddo-o you with-th me?”

“Virgil, what caused this?” Virgil’s eyes flickered towards the voice even when his body jerked away, curling further into Patton’s arms.

“Not now Logan.” He looked back at Patton who was glaring at who he gathered was the logical side. Patton looked…. Scary. His eyes were red and watery but looked as if they were shooting daggers to kill someone. His entire face a bright pink in the non-blushy way. Sadness? Anger? This wasn't Pat.

He coughed again and all attention was back on him. He whimpered “P-patn?”

“Im here kiddo. Im right here…”

“Hurts...make it stop?”

He felt fingers run through his hair. “Yeah I know kiddo. I’m not sure I can make it stop, but i'm damn well gonna try.”

“I-I think ima die?”

The hand froze and three people sucked in at the same time.

“No. You're not gonna die Virgil. You're my best friend and im not letting you die.”

“I can feel it… I don't wanna die Pat.” His fists worked their way into his polo. “Don't let me die.”

Tears. Everything was blurry as tears ushered down his cheeks making tracks through the black goop that strained his face. He let loose a few strangled gasps as he felt himself crumble.

“NO! COME ON VIRGIL PLEASE! I-I cant l-loose you…”

“M’sorry Pat….”

{°°°}

Patton’s arms were empty now. They had been for an hour. At least what he thought was an hour. He didn't know anymore. He didn't care. His best friend died in his arms and he did nothing but cry.

When Virgil passed it was messy. A mix of dust and black sludge were pooled around him staining everything it touched. The only thing left was Virgil’s hoodie, which Patton had clutched in his closed fists. Logan and Roman were still standing in the doorway where Patton had kept them. He still didn't let them close. When Patton finally moved from his kneeling position, two hours and thirty-seven minutes later, he fell onto the edge of Virgil’s bed smearing black onto the mussed up sheets.

Logan spoke, breaking the silence. “Patton. We... we should clean this up.”

Pat looked up at him from the hoodie in his grip. Mouth opening and closing a few times before he found his voice. “No.”

“Pat this is hard for all if us but surely we cant-” Roman was cut of when a fist connected with the side of his face.

“Patton!” Logan yelled as Princey fell to the floor with a thud.

“NO LOGAN…” He yelled spinning to face the logical trait, and grabbing by his collar. “MY BEST FRIEND JUST DIED IN MY ARMS AND YOU BOTH ACT LIKE IT’S NOTHING!” He spat it out as if it was the most disgusting thing ever to touch his tongue.

Tears threatened to spill from Patton's eyes as he stared Logan down.

“He’s gone…

And it’s because of his own family….”

Pat let go of his shirt, arms swinging to his sides. A sob broke through his lips as he sank to the floor once more, curling up into a tight ball. His whole body shook as he cried loudly into Virgil’s hoodie.

Roman looked on in disbelief. Patton hadn't cried like this ever...not even when Thomas got dumped.

Bile rose in his own throat as he looked over the moral side. He threw his hand over his mouth in order to keep it down. Tears spilled down his own cheeks as he looked up at Logan.

His eyes widened when he saw red blotchy cheeks and shaking shoulders.

“What did we do?” He heard Logan whisper.

“Oh god what did we do…?”

@pattson @anxious-ball-of-sunshine @my-happy-little-bean @ironwoman359 @mirror2thespirit @shadow-walker-1201 @thecrimsoncodex (suffer with me)