#screaming and crying i love mom!sunghee

[theogcny]

@daydrcvms​ asked: “my problem with christmas is i hate red and i hate green.”

A scoff echoed through the hall. Seemed like her father’s employees had already decorated the manor.  Her eyes scanned through the new décor as her youngest brother spoke. Sunghee turned to face him, crossing her arms. “You should’ve helped them with the colors and the decorations then.” Although she had never payed attention on the colors her father chose as a theme for the household yearly, it was rare when they stuck to the original colors. Maybe the other had been too young or too nonchalant the last time they actually used these, but she found some amusement in the situation. He and Eunjae were still stuck here, they couldn’t really do anything about it.  “You should’ve cleared your throat and gone to our father and told him the same. Maybe he would’ve chosen gold and orange, it always boosts his ego when the colors match his quirk.” She let out a small chuckle, extending her arm to rest it around the other’s shoulders. “You can decorate my apartment if you want. We can fill it up with your favorite color...” Her voice lowered as she leaned, whispering so only he could listen. “But you have to tell Eunjae that I chose the color myself so he doesn’t get jealous, ok?” 

[famedroleplayarchive]

KANG SUNGHEE is the LEAD RAPPER of UNITY under DIMENSIONS ENTERTAINMENT. He was born on MARCH 5, 1998. He looks a little like HAN JISUNG (HAN) OF STRAY KIDS.

CHARACTER INFORMATION

faceclaim: han jisung (han), member of stray kids

legal name: kang sunghee

stage name: n/a

pronouns: he/him & they/them

birth date: march 5, 1998

hometown: shanghai, china

position: lead rapper and vocal of unity

claims: feature ; feeling - dimensions soloist 2

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: ableism

i.

kang hyejin moves from busan to seoul with the sole intention of attending one of the countries’ best universities. it’s not just anyone who succeeds at getting a spot in the seoul national university, and she does so with praise and honors. her parents are reluctant to let her go, reluctant to allow their youngest daughter to be far from them for such a long time, but they know it’s the best they can do for her, the best future they can offer her. and so hyejin goes, with goals set in mind, with a big hope for what her career is going to become.

things don’t really go as planned.

for the first year, yes, she manages to keep her track record as clean as possible. her grades are high, her academic accomplishments higher, and, in a majorly male field, she manages to succeed. that is, until she meets kim sungki, on her second year at the university. he’s the very stereotype of the men parents warn their daughters against. older but not at all responsible, she falls for his charms, for his looks and for his words, faster than she thought it’d be possible. from there, her studies go downhill. hyejin starts skipping classes, something she had never done, and accepts recklessness into her life without caring for the consequences. she fights with her parents and gets invited to leave university as she stops bothering to attend anything whatsoever. moving in with sungki, hyejin is forced to take odd jobs here and there, but she’s in love – or at least she believes this is love – and that’s all that matters to her.

getting pregnant was not in her plans, but very little things were and they ended up happening anyway. hyejin is scared but excited – sungki seems happy enough for her not to question the glances he’ll throw her way, his reluctance whenever he’s supposed to follow her somewhere. those are all easy to ignore once she falls in love with her baby boy at the first ultrasound consult. she spends months lost in the bubble of happiness she’s created for herself, one that only grows bigger and stronger as soon as sunghee is brought into the world. he’s so small in her arms, even more so in his father’s arms, and hyejin is nothing but content as she lies down on the hospital bed.

the bubble bursts, eventually. at first, it’s when sunghee’s baek-il arrives and he still hasn’t met his grandparents or either of his uncles. alongside that, she notices the way sungki distances himself. she has to ask for him to give their child the time of day, and his fuse gets shorter and shorter. they fight, sunghee’s piercing scream a match for their loud tones as they shout angry words at each other. the frustration only builds and the moments of reprieve are almost non-existent. the bills are, too, much bigger than either of them can pay with their odd jobs, especially with how hyejin can’t work as much because of sunghee. she goes to sleep with tears in her eyes more often than not, exhausted beyond measure, only to be awoken by a fragile child who doesn’t know any better.

it all comes to an end when hyejin wakes up and sungki is nowhere to be found. she thinks to wait until the end of the day to get worried, hoping it’s because he’s found a well paying job, but those thoughts are erased upon she notices the lack of his clothes. every small belong of his is gone, and there’s not a single note left. the father of her child abandons her on a tuesday morning and it takes her until the evening to muster the courage to call her parents.

hyejin’s father as well as one of her brothers drive up to seoul the next morning. there’s not much they can do other than help her pack all the essentials and shove them into the truck of their respective cars. they can’t hide the shock at meeting sunghee, neither of them even being aware of his existence, but much like hyejin, they fall in love immediately with the blabbering child who’s, at the same time, overjoyed and shy, hiding his face on his mother’s neck as she carries him around.

she doesn’t look back as they leave behind all the dreams she’s ever had and the place where she was forced to let them go.

ii.

for the first three years of his life, sunghee spends most of his time with his grandmother.

his uncle owns a bookstore where his mother starts working at once they move to busan. she takes the most shifts out of anyone who works there, her subtle way of trying to compensate for leaving them behind the way she had. it means she has less time with sunghee, but considering they spend their evenings together, the two of them sharing hyejin’s childhood bedroom, she considers the sacrifice worth it.

at first, sunghee is reluctant to let anyone of the family other than his mom to so much as touch him. he’s fussy, which is not something hyejin had expected, since he had always been such a happy and cuddly baby. eventually he takes to his grandmother, who’s filled with so much patience and care for him that it’s inevitable he’d love her as much as she loves him. and happy he is, a small ball of energy that learns how to speak fast and run faster. he babbles, tries to join conversations even when he doesn’t have the words or the understanding for it. sunghee is their sunshine, the most precious aspect of their lives, and hyejin finds that she doesn’t regret her choices as much, not when she has him.

she doesn’t expect to find love again, but she does. this time, it’s by accident. just another client at the bookstore – one that was, admittedly, pretty handsome, in a way that had her and her sister in law whispering as he walks around. when she goes to help him, he has an accent, one that lets her know he’s not from south korea, but he pronounces his words elegantly. hyejin wouldn’t have to be smarter than she is to know he comes from money. she had expected him to treat her flippantly, or at the very least with some form of disdain, but he’s nothing but charming and sweet. he leaves with a promise of coming back.

and coming back he does. conveniently, whenever hyejin is working. he introduces himself to her as yao jiongmin, indeed a rich business man from shanghai, who’s spending a year in busan working at their local office. the more he visits her, the more she’s charmed by him. inevitably, jiongmin invites her out on a date and hyejin is only a little bit reluctant to accept. she’s been down this road before, she knows, but she’s still a romantic at heart and it’s hard to tell him no when he looks at her the way he does.

they fall in love. he doesn’t seem to mind she has a son, even when sunghee spends most of their first meeting hidden behind his mother’s legs and refusing to say a word to the man.

they get married less than a year later. hyejin’s parents, even more so than her, are at first scared that it’s going to be a repeat of sungki. that she’s going to leave only to have her heart broken by this older man. however, there’s some reassurance to be found at the fact that not only is jiongmin accomplished and successful in a way sungki never was, he’s offering marriage, not just a unstable relationship.

yet again, hyejin moves away from her childhood home to a place where her future lays. a different one, yeah, but one she looks forward to nonetheless.

iii.

after being taken care of by his family until his current age of four, sunghee, going by shengxi, is put in kindergarten within months of their move. it’s not hyejin’s first option, but since jiongmin works and her husband had insisted she went back to studying, she’d rather have her son learning how to socialize than to keep him at home with people looking after him. it’s expected the sunghee would feel reluctant to speak to others at first, especially since he barely knows the language, but jiongmin had assured her they’d find a place where at least one of the carers spoke korean, to make the language learning easier to him.

still, months pass and sunghee retreats further into himself. hyejin’s told about it but is reassured that it’s normal behavior and he’ll feel more comfortable once communicating becomes easier to him. when sunghee’s fifth birthday comes and goes and his behavior doesn’t seem to change, concerns are raised. not only he refuses to socialize with others around him, he takes to playing with himself completely, quickly getting tired of everything he starts, and seems to have lost some of the skills he had already learned by the time they moved to shanghai. at home, he’s impulsive and prone to random bursts of emotions that leave both hyejin and jiongmin confused. after one too many days of sunghee playing silently with one single toy, to the point of crying whenever it’s taken away from him, the caretakers suggest hyejin takes him to see a specialized doctor. with jiongmin busy as he always is during the day, hyejin has no other option but to take her month old daughter with her.

terrified that there’s something wrong with her child, hyejin watches as the doctor speaks to sunghee quietly, having handed him some crayons and papers that he happily draws on. his answers are short hums, as if he’s only half paying attention to the woman, who’s kind to him. it takes a couple of exams and a few more visits to the doctor for a diagnosis to be offered. jiongmin is with her when they are told sunghee most likely has both adhd and asd. they are reassured of their concerns when it comes to whether those are consequences of how he was raised, as well as the best course of treatment. since he’s young, they are told, sunghee can test out the best course of treatment in order to make life as easy for him to deal with as possible, and that he’ll grow up well, especially if his parents try their best to be supportive of him.

as it’s suggested, sunghee tries out several different types of therapies and therapists until they find one that is just right for him, one that helps with the vast majority of the symptoms. slowly, he goes back to speaking, learning mandarin and shanghainese with as much ease as he had learned korean. he regains the basic skills he had started losing, learns mechanisms to better handle his emotions as well as conversations and social interactions. sunghee had surprisingly taken to his sister well and, when his brother is born, their connection comes even faster. he’s deeply attached to both his siblings, working the role of the older brother like it was meant for him. with other kids and strangers, his reluctance to get close is visible and transparent, and he still struggles with making friends, but he learns way to make it easier.

music helps. it’s a suggestion by one of the therapists, that maybe learning an instrument will be good to him. there’s half the chance that sunghee won’t be interested at all and, thus, it would be a pointless pursuit, but they can try. he’s given a handful of options, paths he can follow, instruments to choose. they are surprised when he picks the guzheng, even more so when he takes to it as if he was born to do it. they were warned of the possibility of hyperfixation to a level of it being unhealthy to him, but sunghee practices it because he loves it and stops when he must. it’s added to his square routine, eventually joined by the liuqin as well as the guitar.

iv.

sunghee grows as he’s supposed to, the mechanisms from therapy indeed making life that bit easier to him, to the point where he’s back to being the joyful child he was as a baby. as much support as he’s given, hyejin doesn’t fail to notice when jiongmin grows distant from sunghee. there are two younger children for him to care about – kids he wasn’t even supposed to have, in the first place, but money hadn’t been an issue and there’s a lot you can get away with when you have as much as he does – so hyejin tries not to mind. she knows sunghee is everything jiongmin does not want for an heir, starting from his average grades. every moment he should spend studying is instead spent practicing, or with his siblings. jiongmin tries to forbid sunghee from playing his instruments until his grades are better but hyejin sets her foot down and reminds him that sunghee needs it more than he needs grades.

it’s a given that sunghee is not in the run to be the future owner of the family’s real estate business. even he notices it, at one point, how the expectations slowly go from him to his younger brother, even when the boy is nothing but a small child. having become fiercely protective of both his siblings, sunghee reaches the point of fighting with his step father about it when he’s only ten, which serves to only push them further away from each other. hyejin watches not knowing what to do, refusing to fight her husband or her child over this and knowing she’d have to eventually suffer the consequences of this choice.

the strained relationship with his step father has sunghee finding forms of escapism. he’s already prone to those but he ends up searching for more, ones that go beyond the instruments he plays and the anime he watches relentlessly. it’s how sunghee stumbles upon kpop. inevitably being raised tri-lingual, sunghee easily learns what to search for. decipher’s replay is one of the first music videos he watches and from there he looks further and further, until he’s using his mother’s credit card to buy albums from the most various kpop groups and artists. he goes from kpop to korean hip hop artists and from there to western hip hop. sunghee falls in love with all of those, some more than the others, but all of them in their own way.

      v.

up until then, he had been floating, knowing there wasn’t anything in particular he wishes to do with his life eventually other than be around for his siblings and playing his instruments. even though the thought has crossed his mind in the past, auditioning for companies comes as a most definitely impulsive decision.

the summer after sunghee turns fourteen, he sees a few announcements for auditions to the big three companies that would be happening in shanghai. it doesn’t matter that he is perhaps too young for it because he’s already set on going. sunghee can’t walk in without someone responsible and he knows very well that neither of his parents would want to accompany him. instead, sunghee elects the help of an older cousin, someone who understands sunghee’s passion for music better than anyone else. and off he goes, his cousin driving him to and from the auditions, taking the guzheng, the liuqin and the guitar with him because sunghee knows he’d need to have something extra to offer. he tries for bc and gold star first, rapping in both his auditions. even though there is some degree of them being impressed with his skills in all three instruments and his not at all bad rapping, bc doesn’t think his visuals were quite up to their standards and gold star fails at finding any type of star power in him. discouraged, sunghee stills goes to dimensions’ audition. neither of the facts that had stopped him from joining bc and gold star come up, and dimensions seems interested enough in his rapping and his skills with instruments to give him a chance.

sunghee is… surprised, to say the least. as much as he had hoped, he doesn’t expect to actually get in, especially after being easily dismissed by the two companies before dimensions. he’s overjoyed but his happiness simmers when he realizes this mean he’s going to have to tell his parents. it’s inevitable, he had known that, if by some miracle he had gotten in, he’d have to talk to them about it.

hyejin says no, as sunghee knew she would. jiongmin says nothing, as sunghee had also known he would, yet sunghee reckons his step father disapproves of his decision, much like he’d have disapproved of anything that didn’t align exactly with the expectations jiongmin has of him. sunghee cries, sobs, begs, for once letting go of all the restraint he had to learn, and throws the mother of all tempter tantrums. it’s not even purposeful – sunghee is not used to be told no because there’s not much he asks for in the first place, his parents jumping in to give him what he needs before he so much as has to think about it.

there’s only so much of her son crying that hyejin can take and, after an entire day of it, she goes from no to how are we going to do this? if jiongmin disapproves, he doesn’t voice his opinion and sunghee can’t read his expressions or understand the nuances of his tone when he speaks to know the overall idea of what his step father is thinking. hyejin calls sunghee’s doctors – that had since been reduced from a team to only two – and is reassured that, wherever he goes, he can still consult with them through video and phone calls. they also let her know that, if he needs someone in person, there are always people they can recommend who would be happy to treat him.

another concern that arises is who sunghee is going to stay with, as hyejin refuses to let him live in a dorm with people he doesn’t know. it’s already going to be stressful enough as it is, she knows, and if he’s set on doing this, she doesn’t want it to be worse. she calls her brother, the one who had moved to seoul only five years prior, and he’s more than eager to receive sunghee for as long as he needs to stay around.

just like that, the matter is resolved. sunghee cries before he leaves, arms wrapped tightly around his siblings. the love he has for them is not one he understands, and there’s a never ending ache in his heart when he realizes that he’s not going to be able to see them as often as he’d like to. the hug he gets from his step-father doesn’t last long and that on itself manages to break his heart a bit. his mother flies with him to seoul, sticks around for almost two weeks when she originally was only going in order to sign the papers for his contract. sunghee cries the hardest when she leaves as he’s still in the process of getting settled and everything still feels foreign enough that it terrifies him a lot.

vi.

training is… it’s hard. sunghee is thrown completely out of his axis and the only saving grace is that trainee life has a routine even more strict than the one he had in the past. it still takes him a while to adjust to it and, wasn’t for his uncle and aunt, he knows it would’ve been impossible for him to settle properly. within the first month sunghee manages to make three different trainers mad at him, for various reasons, and words are thrown at him that sunghee is glad he doesn’t understand. after the third time, his aunt convinces sunghee to be honest to the company about his diagnosis. the boy is reluctant because he doesn’t want to either be defined by it or have them going easy on him because of it, but she insists that they are going to need to find out eventually.

his aunt goes with him when he tells them and whereas he’s worried they might kick him out because of it, he’s only asked about his treatment. the woman does most of the talking, explaining the details of his diagnosis and insisting that none of them make it impossible for sunghee to be a good trainee, but that there are still things to be taken into consideration with their treatment of him.

notes are taken and given to his trainers. the majority of them change the way they treat him, in subtle ways that sunghee doesn’t even notice beyond his trainee life becoming slightly easier to deal with. whoever doesn’t, at least avoids yelling at him as much as they do everybody else. it helps that sunghee is genuinely dedicated to what he’s doing. on his worst days, he’s not willing to talk much and his attention span is even more out of it than usual, but sunghee still tries. for once he’s allowed himself to have a dream, to hope for something, to want to become better at things he hadn’t even thought about before, and he puts in the necessary effort.

vii.

sunghee doesn’t expect to be offered a spot in unity when he does. he’s barely turned seventeen and he knows there are other trainees who are better than him, especially when it comes to dancing. definitely not one to question a decision that will be beneficial to him, sunghee takes it gladly. he’s even more surprised when they offer for him to contribute with the lyrics for unity’s debut song, the 7th sense. sunghee is thrilled to be able to do something he loves, to be given opportunities when he thought he wouldn’t get them at all.

an introvert at heart, the actual debut is a bigger challenge than what he had expected but one he faces head high. surrounded by members he’s known long enough to feel comfortable, sunghee allows for his excitable personality to shine through whenever unity attends variety shows and he gains a considerable fanbase because of that.

overall, sunghee is content with where unity is. their ever growing fanbase and international appeal terrifies him a bit, as none of them are certain of what can come from it.