#scott-golden9

[fafnir19]

Would it be possible to ask if I could be turned into a demon himbo please?

The excitement of the upcoming soccer match buzzed through the air as you and your teammates, the Golden Army, arrived in the quaint town for the tournament. You shared a laugh with your twin brother, Logan, as you stepped into the opulent lobby of the hotel, its grandeur matching to your  success. The team had spared no expense, booking luxurious suites for the duration of your stay. You and Logan, inseparable as always, had the most extravagant suite of all—a spacious black and gold haven. After checking in, you decided to hit the hotel gym, eager to keep up with your training regimen. As you worked up a sweat, the anticipation of the soccer tournament grew, and you imagined the sweet taste of victory. Dripping with sweat, you headed back to your suite, ready for a hot shower. As you entered, a familiar scene greeted you—Logan, your mirror image, entangled with a stranger. This time, it was a blond twink, his lithe body pressed against Logan's muscular frame. You smirked, remembering the countless flings Logan had during your travels. He never seemed to tire of finding new playthings in each town. Usually, you'd join in the post-training make-out sessions, but today, something holds you back. Perhaps it's the intensity in Logan's eyes as he kisses the boy. Unbothered by your presence, Logan continues his display, his hands now roaming freely over the twink's slender frame. You shake your head, deciding it's time for your shower.

As you turn to leave, a faint blue light catches your attention. The blue light began to glow from the blond's palms, and before you could react, a sphere of energy was launched in your direction. It enveloped you, and in a flash, your world changed. Your golden soccer kit melted away, replaced by a skimpy silver thong that left little to the imagination. You felt a strange sensation on your temples, and when you reached up, you discovered small, delicate horns. As if that wasn't bizarre enough, wings sprouted from your back, and your body transformed. Your muscular build softened, becoming lean and graceful, and your features took on a more youthful, boyish appearance. You stumble, falling to your knees, the room spinning as you adjust to this unexpected shift.

Kneeling on the floor, you struggled to comprehend what had just happened. But your confusion was short-lived as your gaze fell on Logan. In that moment, you saw him as if for the first time. His chiseled features, so similar to your own, now held a new allure. Lust stirred within you, an unfamiliar desire was swelling in you. The fact that he is your twin brother no longer seems to matter as desire clouds your judgment. Your plan was simple: pleasure him until he was putty in your hands, and then take what you wanted. With determination, you pull down his shorts, exposing his manhood.

Your tongue darts out, licking the tip of his cock, and you hear a soft moan escape his lips. "Mmm... Scott, that feels incredible," Logan's voice is husky with desire. As you work his shaft, taking it deeper into your mouth, his cock responds, growing harder with each suckle and moan.

The blond twink, the sorcerer who had altered your form, moves behind you, his touch light on your back. But your attention is solely on Logan, and the twink's presence fades into the background. His fingers trail down your spine, causing a shiver, and then there's a slight pressure as he pushes a finger into your tight hole. You gasp around Logan's cock, the sensation both unexpected and strangely arousing. The twink's other hand finds your horns, stroking them gently, and you realize these touches are not just arousing but also soothing, making you pliable. "Ah... yes, just like that," Logan's voice is a low growl, his hips moving slightly, encouraging you to take more of him. The sorcerer's fingers continue their dance, working you open, and your own cock throbs with need. You're so focused on Logan's pleasure that you barely register the twink's actions until he adds a second finger, stretching you further. "Oh, fuck!" Logan's hips jerk, and you feel his cock twitch in your mouth as he gets closer to the edge. Your own desire spikes, and you know this is the moment. Pulling off his cock, you look up at Logan with lust-filled eyes. "I want you, Logan. Let me take you."

But before Logan can respond, the twink coos, his voice like silk, "Ah, no, no, my little demon!" With a sudden tug on your horns, he pulls you away from Logan, breaking the intimate moment. You stumble back and you lose your balance, falling onto the hardwood floor, your wings spreading instinctively to cushion your fall.

Logan stands above you, his cock hard and glistening with your saliva, a stark contrast to his usual relaxed demeanor. "Oh..." The realization hits you like a punch to the gut. This isn't how it was supposed to go. You were meant to be the one in control, dominating Logan, not the other way around. Logan's eyes burn with a new fire, and he doesn't hesitate. He steps between your legs, tearing the silver thong away. "No, wait!" you cry out as Logan positions himself at your entrance. The tables had turned, and he was now the one in control. His hard cock thrust into you, claiming your body with a ferocity that left you breathless. The sorcerer continues to stroke your horns, and you feel a wave of submission wash over you. Your protests die in your throat as Logan thrusts forward, claiming you further in swift motions. "Ahh!" Your cry echoes in the room as Logan fills you, his cock pushing past the resistance of your soul. He sets a relentless pace, pounding into you, and your body becoming a vessel for his pleasure. "Sweet little demon, surrender to your new form," the twink purrs, his voice hypnotic. The stroking of your horns sends a strange calm through your body, making it hard to think, let alone resist. "Ah, yes, let go of your human inhibitions," the twink whispered, his fingers trailing down your back, sending shivers through your body. "You're not one of them anymore. You're a demon, a creature of pure desire and pleasure." Logan's thrusts became more intense, his moans filling the room. The feeling of his hard cock inside you was overwhelming, and you found yourself surrendering to the sensations, your body betraying your previous desires. "That's it, let it go," the twink encouraged, his fingers now stroking your horns with increasing speed. "You're not Scott, the soccer player. You're Sxodnir, a demon of lust and desire. Your purpose is to serve and please." His words resonated within you, and as Logan's pace quickened, you felt a surge of arousal. Your eyes widen as you realize what's happening. The stroking of your horns was like a spell, making you pliable and docile, erasing your former desires. "Oh... oh yes!" Logan's voice cracked as he drove into you, his body glistening with sweat. His eyes locked with yours, and for a fleeting moment, you saw the brother you knew, but then, something shifted. The brotherly bond faded, replaced by a new, unfamiliar yearning. The realization hit you like a bolt of lightning. You weren't thinking of Logan as your sibling anymore; he was your master, and the thought sent a jolt of pleasure through your body. Your cock, throbbing and hard, responded to this newfound submission, and you couldn't hold back any longer. With a cry of surrender, you climaxed, your essence shooting out in a warm release. Logan's eyes widened as he felt your ass clench around him, and with a final, powerful thrust, he surrendered to his own release, filling you with his seed. "Yes!" he grunted, his body shuddering. "The transformation is complete!" the twink exclaimed, his voice filled with triumph. "You are no longer brothers, but a demon and his master! Sxodnir, the Himbo-demon, is born!"

As your vision clearer in the aftermath of your climax, you see Logan and the twink embracing, their passion evident. "You've given me the perfect gift, Felix. My brother is now an obedient servant." Logan's eyes find yours, and he smiles, a mix of satisfaction and mischief. "Sxodnir, huh? I like the sound of that. No more sharing the spotlight, my … not brother anymore," Logan said smirking down on you. "You'll be the talk of the Golden Army as their new mascot." The twink Felix, now your master, added, "And you'll serve us both with unwavering devotion. The seed of our union will ensure your loyalty." Logan, still standing tall above you, grinned triumphantly. "You were always the more popular one, Scott. Now, as Sxodnir, you'll know your place." As their words sank in, you felt a shift within your very being. The sense of obedience they spoke of wasn't forced; it was natural, a part of your new identity. Logan and Felix as your masters...it feels strangely right, and the idea of being their obedient demon is oddly arousing.

Logan was laying his arm around your shoulder and running with the hand through his hair. "And I think it's time we introduce our new mascot to the team. The Golden Army will love having their very own Himbo-demon." The blond twink nods, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "Indeed, they will adore you, Sxodnir. And you'll adore serving them, won't you?" You can only nod, the words 'yes, master' forming on your lips. A satisfied grin appeared Felix’ face, "I knew you'd be the perfect little slut, Sxodnir!" "I... I am yours," you whisper, your voice filled with newfound submission. Logan and Felix exchanged a satisfied glance, their plan a success.  Your words were simple, but it holds all the devotion and obedience you now feel. No longer a soccer player, no longer Scott, you are Sxodnir, a lower demon with a purpose—to bring luck and pleasure to the Golden Army and to serve your new masters faithfully. As the team's mascot, your presence brings an air of magic and excitement to their games. The players touch your horns for luck before each match, which drives you wild by lust, your new form a testament to the power of sorcery and desire.

[aaronazizsasilver5]

Propa stoked this finally arrived..this team is GOLDEN AF BRUHZ! More kit 2 cooome yoooo. Thanx Cap @hypnogold for makin sure we get da best kit innit 💪🏼💛

[romangolden68]

@scott-golden9 bro was overworking himself recently, busy writing and doing stuff and wasn't able to focus on himself and his bros... I decided to fix that.

I approached Scott while he was busy writing sum story for sumthing, I don't know but gave him one of my patented Roman Protein Shakes. I told him he looked tired and overworked and deserved 2 be rewarded for being such a good worker.

He drank the shake, gulping down all it's golden goodness, and wipes his mouth. I smirk as he kneels onto the floor... huhu, he won't know whatz comin to him! I grab his jaw gently with my thumb and pointer finger and have him tilt his head up to me. Rellllaaaaxxxx brah~ I tell him in a sing-song manner as I watch his eyes start to turn into golden spirals while he stares into my own eyes. I smirk as I feel his large muscles instantly start to relax. The knots in his muscles, the stress, the toxins, all of it was leaving his body in da form of Golden Sweat! I feel and watch his muscles turn relaxed and numb, and as a result, I can see his brain turning to straight up puddy, ready to be molded! I lean forward, letting his hypnotized eyes stare into mine as I whisper into his weak, Puddy brain:

Lift Sniff Grow Bro Lift Sniff Grow Bro

U reek U stink U leak No longer weak U reek U stink U leak No longer weak

U burp U fart U golden U gassy U burp U fart U golden U gassy

U a chav U alwayz a chav U a Golden chav Nuttin but a golden chav U a chav Alwayz a chav U a Golden Chav Nuttin but a golden chav After whispering him those sweet golden truths, I shave his blonde hair to a buzz-cut and grab mah camera before taking a photo.

Huhu, he's letting his Roman Bro think 4 him now huhu.

Anywayz! I continued to stare into his golden eyes as mah hands runned along his huge muscles, feeling that they tense up and compress when I touch them, becoming smaller yet stronger! From the bottom of his calves to his glutes to his pecs and even his forearms, all of it compresses as I dance my hands across his muscles. Unfortunately for Scott though, all of his golden sweat of worries and thoughts isnt leavin his skin.... oh well huhu So, once I feel that he is properlly changed and relaxed, I grab a golden Tracksuit made just for him, and put it on him. I snap him out of his trance

Huhuhu, Welcome Chav Scott, howz u feelin???

Oh shiz brah, I forgot to clean u da remainz of ur brainz! huhu. Keep talking to me brah while I clean u up, call me ur "bruv" and keep saying how good feeling dumb and Chav-like feels. I like hearing it brah, too bad u can barely remember ur past or even what u were working on....

Once I finished cleaning him, I took off his smelly tracksuit, much to his protest, and put a spandex muscle-tee on him.

Huhu, brah, Scott, hope u enjoy being a Chav, bc I don know how to revert u back

So to all my brahz out there...

Say Hello to da NEW AND IMPROVED CHAV-SCOTT BRUV.

[robin-gold36]

Recruited to the Golden Army

I was walking by the soccer fields on my way to work when I first saw the team. They were clad in shiny gold kit from head to toe and it was impossible to look away.

I never considered myself to be a jock and didn't pay much attention to soccer, but something about the shiny gold was drawing me in and making me feel so good as I found myself wanting to be in it. I saw the players standing so strong and tall, proudly boasting their gold everywhere they walked. I so badly wanted to walk up and feel the shiny gold kits they were in.

"What am I thinking, I gotta get to work," I thought to myself. I snapped back to reality and continued on my way when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey bro, you interested in joining? We're looking for new recruits" His shiny gold kit was mesmerizing up close. I felt a growing pleasure in me as the large gold #9 on his jersey pulled me deeper.

"What's your name, bro? I'm Scott."

I suddenly couldn't remember who I was, as if part of me had started to slip away. I broke my trance and replied, "Uh- I, sorry, I'm not much of a soccer player."

"Sure you are. Put this kit on and you'll be amazed what the power of the Golden Army can do." He gestured at his uniform. Without even thinking, I reached a hand out and started to rub the shiny gold jersey on him. Massive jolts of pleasure overwhelmed me as I made contact with the gold for the first time.

Scott smiled wide, "That's right bro, you wanna be on the team. You wanna be a part of the Golden Army. It feels good to give in and join the team."

Other players surrounded us as I started to succumb to the power of the gold. The team captain, Richard, walked up to me holding a golden shiny kit.

"Put this on, bro. Join the Golden Army." I complied and removed my work clothes and stood in front of my bros, ready to become a part of the team. I stepped into my gold shorts and golden socks and cleats, overwhelmed with pleasure as they surrounded me.

"One last thing, bro," Scott said, holding a golden jersey with the number 36 on it. As he slipped the jersey over my head I felt the last remnants of my old life vanish as I rubbed the shiny golden kit. The gold was in command now. I was now a member of the team. A proud member of the Golden Army. Ready to serve with my bros.

"Welcome to the team, Robin." I stood next to Scott feeling so good and so ready to serve my team as a golden jock. ⚽️💪💛

(@scott-golden9) (@hypnogold)

[goldtony]

2 Strikers vs. 1 Defender 💥

or 2 poles vs. 2 holes 💛

@scott-golden9 @golden-logan10

[greg-gold01]

Been a long day of runnin around takin care of mah gold team bros. Makin sure their gold bottles stay full, wipin em down after their workouts, using mah magic hands to give em back energy in time for the game, you name it! Had to take mah shirt off cause I was workin up a sweat runnin around so much, but my bros said they liked it so I kept off huhu. Want me to take care of ya too bro? Hit up mah broski @scott-golden9 and apply for the team! GOLD FOR LIFE!

[goldengod-ares10]

Going Gold!!!

Joined the Golden Army and life is so much better now that I'm part of the team . Especially with my twin bro @scott-golden9

[polo-drone-070]

Ams n shoulda's day, bruhz. Gotta, like, do propa trainin to stay fit 4 da Gold Team, innit

if U wanna join da team n train wit us, contact @brodygold or @scott-golden9. They'll, like, set u up properly.

[champ-gold]

dude what's going on everyone is a golden athlete? and at first it was just my social media feed filling up with this stuff, at first i thought it was some crazy mass computer virus. what is happening to everything?

It's the golden team bro we everywhere, join us bro, become golden, message our head scout @scott-golden9

[goldengod-ares10]

Me and my @scott-golden9 dominating The Football and Soccer Fieldz

Other Sports

The Golden Army has decided to expand its horizons by branching out into a variety of other sports. Now, in addition to soccer, they’re diving into lacrosse, basketball, gymnastics, hockey, and even ping pong! And of course we can’t forget about good ol’ American football! Any sport you can think of, the Golden Army is dominating in now.

The team is eager to conquer new fields of competition, bringing their trademark camaraderie and spirit to each new challenge, both on and off the field.

[romangolden68]

(( @scott-golden9 aka Hercules)

(( set in da “real world” Big Mistake, Beta (1)

*I have just recently finished my college work for my Political-Science class. I sigh, rubbing my forehead as I have a stress headache from writing an analysis paper. As i am packing up, I text my roommate, asking if hes in the dorm. I pack up my laptop, but before I fully close it... I receive an email stating that there has been a roommate switch. I sigh and clench the bridge of my nose with my hand. First a stressful night, and now this?! Ugh! I slam my laptop shut and pack up. Heading to my dorm-room......*

5 Minutes Later

*I arrive at my dorm hall and scan my keycard to enter my dorm room. I notice however that the paint of the scanner has turned to a metallic gold, odd. This has to be a joke. I scowl and punch in the keycode to fully unlock the door... and yet the smell of potent, unwashed crotch and foot is wafting around me, where is it coming from? I unlock the door and open it, seeing that it is dark inside my dorm room and that the window is shut. I do however get hit with a small wave of actual heat and a much larger wave of quite musky crotch and foot. I cough and enter my room, slamming the door shut. Did my roommate suddenly leave behind a years worth of unwashed socks?! I waft the stale, hot, musky air, trying to find the fan system to get fresh air circulating through the room. However, I accidently enter the bedroom section of the dorm in the darkness, and hit the lightswitch. My eyes are flashbanged and I cough, covering my eyes. Once I feel that my eyes are used to the light, I remove my hand.... only to see something that I wouldve never expected in my entire life...*

Hercules: “Sup Bruv, u thought u culd escape me in da reel wurld? Nah fam, u cnt ‘scape me bruv. Ur mah bitch, and I don let mah bitchez leave meh. So, ‘M ur roomie now bruv, ur beta-bitch of a “roomie” is now mah muski Sneekrs, and I did sum golden decor to get rid of da beta energy of da ruum. Also, u can burrow sum of mah smaller sneakrs frum wen I was a yung Scally Chav. Now, bruv, dere gonna be sum changes around here now. 1st rule change, u belong 2 me now.”

*I gulp…. Im so fucked*

[robin-gold36]

Feels so good to finally embrace the gold and join my bros in the Golden Army. So thankful to my bro @scott-golden9 for recruiting me and showing me the power of the gold 💛 Join us ⚽️

[goldtony]

@scott-golden9 💛💛💛

[greg-gold01]

Sup bros! I'm Greg, new Head Waterboy for the best team in the world! Any of my bros need anything, anytime I got yous backs 💪. Huge shout out to my bro @scott-golden9 for bringin me on, hit him up if you want in on the team. Time to head out, got lotsa thirsty bros to look after. GO GOLD!

[goldengod-ares10]

Just me and my meathedz twin @scott-golden9 in our golden glory

[romangolden68]

( TF story 4 mah broz @golden-logan10, @scott-golden9 and @toxicafaesthetic) Zeus and Hercules were best buddies growing up. Coming from a small town in rural Texas, they grew up together as their families knew each other heavily. During Easter time, Zeus and Hercules would find shiny, golden eggs together as their families discussed grown-up topics, during the 4th of July they would salute the flag together and play with Roman Candles, but their favorite time together was when they played Football on Thanksgiving. Football soon became their bonding activity, for Hercules was exceptionally strong and made for a great Linebacker, while Zeus was Agile with a capital A and made for a great Wide receiver. They grow up playing football, growing to love the sport to the point of reaching the thresh hold of obsession, but they still had another dream; to travel to the United Kingdom after college. Time passed and they grew up, playing football first in Middle School and being the best players on the team. Then they went to High School and were immediately in first string Varsity. Eventually, during their senior year, they would end up as D1 athletes. As a result of working out and playing football for their entire youth, when they both blew out their candles on their shared 18th birthday, they were truly the strongest people in their small town. Alas, they had to leave the small town and head to a big city college, but they both managed to get to the same college on a sports scholarship. At college they were inseparable. Every class they shared, every schedule was the same, it was as if the gods above didn't want them to separate. They even were able to keep their same football positions on the college football team! Life was truly a dream, and yet they still had one wish left: to visit the United Kingdom. Time passed and they completed their classes. with great difficulty, and they were the posterchildren of the schools football team. They managed to graduate, and the College memorialized them with Hercules and Zeus in their gear posing.

Additionally, their families chose to send them tickets to fulfill their dreams. These shiny, golden tickets were a round trip to the United Kingdom! Hercules and Zeus partied that night, celebrating the fulfillment of their wish.

The next day rolls around, and they pack up their items and head off to the airport. Time passes, they go through security, they get their luggage put away, and they board the plane. Antsy with excitement and anticipation, they begin to sweat in their seats, having to open up their shirts. Unfortunately for the other passengers, they forgot to put on deodorant before getting on the plane, oops.

Anyways, the plane takes off during the sunrise, but little did Hercules and Zeus know, that they would not be returning home to the Texas.

.

.

.

They land in the glorious United Kingdom!

After getting through the airport, they decide to go sight seeing across the city of London. From riding the London eye to watching Big Ben tick away, they loved walking around the city.

However, Hercules and Zeus find themselves in the less developed parts of London after traveling all day. They find themselves taking a short-cut to make it back to the better parts of London. As they are walking through some dirty alleyways, they come across a large, in charge, and incredibly muscular Chav with the name Logan on his clothes. He smirks at Hercules and Zeus, who themselves get a weird vibe from the dude. It also doesn't help that he smells worse than they do, as if he doesn't know what deodorant is. The stranger introduces himself as Logan and asks them if they are in need of some cologne. Hercules and Zeus look at each other, and nod, for they know they do since they themselves left their own colognes at their hotel. The Chav, who introduces himself as Logan, smirks and extends his hand*

And in his hand is the cologne. It looks incredibly cheap and smelling odd, it still stirs the good smell receptors of Hercules and Zeus. They hand Logan some cash and take the cologne.

Logan walks away, stuffing the cash into his baggy pants, leaving Hercules and Zeus to look at the cologne. They both look at each other, and smile. Hercules uncaps the cologne, its smell wafting towards his nose and causing his brain cells to get a bit fuzzy. He then sprays himself and Zeus with the cologne, and puts the cap on again. They both sniff the air, and cough, finding that the cologne has a potent after smell that reeks of... unwashed armpits and jockstraps. They look at each other, worried that they were scammed into buying ineffective cologne.

Unfortunately for them, they did not.

At the same moment, both of their minds clench in an excruciating headache, as if their brain cells were exploding on mass inside their heads. They keel forward and grab their heads, both in pain. Unbeknownst to them however, they are starting to leak golden drool, which is their brain leaving through their mouth. They can only grunt and groan in discomfort and pain as the cologne, stuck and wafting from their skin, keeps flooding into their brains. it is exploding and getting rid of every ounce of brain cell it can find, wanting to purge the brains of the two jocks. Simultaneously, their bodies begin to change. Their muscles expand, the already well-developed coils of muscles flexing and expanding, starting to tear the seams of their clothes. Each muscle fiber ripping and straining, before expanding outwards in a mass growth effect. Their shredded clothes hang to their now overly muscular bodies as thick, blonde hairs sprout from their pits and nether regions. The dense, bushy, blonde hairs already begin to smell, as if they were unwashed and kept sweaty since Hercules and Zeus were 18. Additionally, their feet even tear their white sneakers, leaving them bare-foot!

However, not all is lost, for the headache begins to feel less painful... and actually more pleasurable, as most of the brain cells are completely gone, turned into golden drool that still leaks from their mouths. This pleasure only intensifies as their clothes begin to reform, but they are majorly different. The clothes are now shiny and golden stereotypical Chav clothes. The smell unwashed, and are kind of small, as if Hercules and Zeus never had enough Quid to properly replace their clothes. Their torn shoes soon turn into shiny, golden trainers that reek to the heavens of foot funk and caked sweat. Lastly, their once sizable meat-sticks and fruits expand within their now briefs, their meat-sticks turning into thick, juicy sausage as their fruits grow heavy and swollen with Golden and sticky Chav goo!

After all this, the two find themselves completely and utterly brainless, as the golden drool dries up due to no brain left in their now hollow heads. However, the Cologne fixes that, for it begins to rebuild their brains, but from the ground up. Gone are the former Texan football players, replaced by memories and personalities of two Chav Bruvs growing up in the outskirts of London. Their memories from their childhood are replaced too, for since they were of legal age, they were drinking cheap beer, smoking fags, working out, playing Footie, and being hyper-sexual fuck-bros. Additionally, their personalities change too. They find themselves extremely arrogant, aggressive, cocky, and dominant, with little care for those that aren't their bruvs. The cologne solidifies this by making them drool one gold one last time, and having their eyes turn into golden spirals, leaving their thick, juicy sausages leaking in their now golden and shiny clothes.

They start to chuckle, first softly, then they grab their thick bulges and chuckle like dopes. They look at each other, and smirk. Loving their new looks. For gone are the old Texan Hercules and Zeus, replaced by Chav versions of themselves.

They walk out of the alleyway, cologne in hand, and find Logan facing away from them. He is smirking however, having smelt the putrid musk of his new Chav bruvs a kilometer away. His face straightens as he extends his hand. He asks his new bruv's if they would like to join da chav life, and they smirk like complete idiots and nod their heads.

. . .

Times passes, and Logan, Hercules, and Zeus are all bruv's now. They drink beer. They smoke fags. They work out. They box. They play footie, although their large sizes tend to slow them down, they are hyper-sexual, and they smell each others stank daily! Hercules and Zeus, now nicknamed Chavules and Chavus, are sitting upon golden thrones in the Bruv house. They are going to meet a local gay bro who offered to sniff their trainers and worship their jockstraps, and they couldn't say no. No homo tho! They stare at the doors opposite their thrones, waiting impatiently, their sausages throbbing.

However, they don't wait long, for a knock is heard at the door. They smirk, and give each other a bruv-bump. Life is good now. Life is simple. Being a chav is easy. No thoughts. No worries. Only being a smelly, swole, and stinky Chav.