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manicpixiefelix · 10 months ago

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 9.

Summary: In Oliver's time of need, you and Felix put the past altercation behind you both to be there for him when he says he needs you both. None of you are given time to breathe, however, as end of year exams begin and you and Felix have to remember how to be good students, all the while Venetia appears to be getting bored and is getting more desperate to have you come back to Saltburn.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: discussions of oliver's father dying, also exam stress

A/N: 3265 words. a bit shorter than the past few, but chapter 10 i think will end our time at oxford so im already starting on that as we speak and it will be out soon!! a more chill one, apart from, of course, the ollie's dad thing. plus we get some Venetia in here!! i love her, she's such a menace. already excited to share more with you all <3

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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Oh God, oh fucking God, Oliver looked so small.

Felix had opened the door looking downright helpless, and from behind him, Oliver's voice broke as all he could manage was 'hi, Y/N'. You can hear his voice is thick with tears and barely restrained grief. When you to Felix, questions in your eyes, he has no real answer for you, just steps aside.

"What's wrong?" Immediately you're by Oliver's side, one hand on his knee where he's curled up on himself, sitting in the middle of Felix's floor.

"I didn't know what else to do," Felix admits weakly, more for Oliver's sake than your own as he closed the door. It's dark, blinds drawn, quiet in the mid-morning. Oliver doesn't look up from the floor.

"Needed you here," Oliver mumbled against his knees, "both of us." He sniffles faintly, shifts his feet a little closer to himself. Felix is fidgeting, still shifting his weight from one foot to the other by the door, watching you both. Oliver looks up at him through tear-stained lashes, and finally Felix sinks down, across from both of you.

Still, you have no real idea of what's happened, but when you look to Oliver, he chances another glance to Felix before focusing back in on his shoes.

"His, uh," Felix starts awkwardly, still watching Oliver, as if unsure if this was how he wanted to break the news. Oliver gives a jerky nod of his head, and another sniffle, and Felix looks to you with that same, grim expression he'd worn at the door, "Ollie's dad died," he says softly, "he just found out."

Oliver presses his face into his knees, like even hearing it like that upsets him, his whole body trembling. In an instant you wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him into you for a tight hug.

"I'm okay," he tries to insist with a watery voice, clearly holding back tears, and Felix reaches out to rest a comforting hand on his shin.

"You're not alright, mate, and you don't have to be," he assures, quickly scooting himself over to Oliver's other side, mirroring you with his arms around Oliver too, resting his head on Oliver's shoulder.

"No, I promise, it's just shock, it's -" Oliver continues, desperately trying to reign in his emotions, "he was a- a drunk, and off his face the rest of the time, I probably should have expected something like this," but his heart's not in it.

"He's still family," Felix mumbles against his shoulder. Oliver is very quiet, but you can both feel when he shifts, even a little, his head raising to rest his cheek against Felix's hair.

"I told Oliver he should look into getting an exemption for his exams," Felix says after a few moments, to which Oliver immediately tries to protest, while you wrack your brains for solutions. Of course you agree, a death in the family would warrant -

"I can't, I already told you I can't," Oliver insisted. He looks frantic, gaze never straying from Felix as he sits up, "I'm on a scholarship, I can't miss the exams!"

"Is there anything you could do?" Felix pleads with you, the two of you sitting astride of Oliver and seemingly ignoring his own pleas for the moment. But even in these moments where you deliberate, Oliver's desperate gaze clings to Felix alone.

"I can look into it, I've got to make a trip to admin later today anyways -"

"No!" Oliver finally snapped. There were tears pricking his eyes as he held out his hands to you both, as if demanding space and silence, staring dead ahead, unable to look either of you in the eyes, "this is all I have. I don't get a second chance at being here. I don't get a second chance at being anywhere. I know I will be fine," he takes a deep, sharp breath, wetting his lips, "tomorrow."

"Fine," Felix finally breathes, cutting through the silence. Both of you still focus on Oliver, tense like a time bomb, but slowly letting himself relax.

"Thank you," he mutters, but doesn't curl in on himself this time. He stretches his legs out in front of him, then his arms, fingers reaching and twisting after being all coiled up together for so long.

"If - if," Felix begins tentatively, "you wake up before your first exam and you're not fine, will you tell us and let us take care of it for you?"

"You mean let Y/N break into my academic records?" Oliver asked wryly, turning to Felix, but there was little malice behind it. Felix, glad to see Oliver hadn't taken it as an insult, grins sheepishly.

"I don't ask how they do what they do," he hesitates, "but yeah, probably," he glances over Oliver's head at you and you hold up your hands, wiggling your fingers.

"A magician never reveals his secrets." Both boys snort a laugh at that, and Oliver leans back carefully, laying on the rug.

"If I do end up feeling like that, I'll tell you, but I promise I'll be okay."

"Tomorrow," you remind him, laying back to join him and petting him on the arm in solidarity.

"Tomorrow," Oliver agreed softly. Felix is the last to join you all in laying back, looking over at you and Oliver rather than at the ceiling like the two of you.

"So would you like to do anything today? If you just want to stay here and do nothing, we can do that too -"

"I don't want to stay around here," Oliver blurts out, "I just want to get off of campus and out of my head for a day, with you guys. Is that- can I -?"

There's something almost childlike in the way that he speaks, the way that he clings to your friendship in his time of need. Neither you nor Felix could say no to him, not that you wanted to. Yesterday's altercation was forgotten, today you'd both do anything to make Oliver happy.

Lunch in town, a movie that the three of you talk through at the back of an empty theatre, and late afternoon in a Tesco, buying ingredients for dinner that you and Felix vow to cook for Oliver in one of your dorm's shared kitchens. Your phone's been buzzing throughout the day, particularly insistent, but you don't feel the urge to pull yourself from this afternoon, these moments to check it.

There's something about browsing the aisles together, something domestic and comforting about arguing over pasta ingredients and whether it was worth it to buy pre-made sauce or to make your own. Oliver watches you both so fondly, all hints of his earlier distress having left him, so it seems. The day felt like a success.

The pasta turns out to be far more of a success than any of you were anticipating, honestly; between you and Felix you made one decent cook. Sitting on the communal sofa, bowls all balanced on your knees, you and Felix are eating for a few moments before you realise Oliver's just been staring at his, strange look on his face.

"Promise it's edible," Felix says, half his mouth full, nudging Oliver's shoulder. You, however, finish your mouthful before speaking.

"Everything okay, Ollie?"

"Haven't had a home cooked meal for years," Oliver sounds almost like he's breathless from the realisation, and certainly like he's holding back tears. Both you and Felix, somehow on the same wavelength without even trying, both move your bowls, and then Oliver's to the coffee table, wrapping him up in a hug. Felix, of course, may have been a bit overenthusiastic, and all three of you end up tipped onto your side, squishing you into the old sofa. When you all right yourselves, laughing nonetheless, Oliver's beaming even as he's blinking away tears.

The night ends with Felix walking you and Oliver back to your respective dorms. By your door, you hug them both, giving Oliver a kiss on the cheek.

"I know exams are intense, but don't be a stranger, okay?"

"I won't," he nods a little bashfully, grinning at the dirt.

"We love you, we have every faith in you."

"I know," he says with a half smile, "if I do shit and get kicked out, how will I see you guys anymore?"

"Don't talk like that!" Felix gasps in mock horror, hand over his heart, ever the dramatic one, "do well of course, but don't talk like that!"

"Good night, boys," you chuckle, letting yourself into your room, hearing their banter pick up as they headed out towards Oliver's, the night so much warmer and brighter than the day had started.

Finally, flopping onto your bed, you reach down to grab the charger to plug it in when you finally see who's been texting you so insistently.

Venetia.

ven my love: can't believe youre still losing scraps against fars XD

That was last night, wasn't it? God, what a snitch Farleigh was sometimes, you roll your eyes to yourself, continuing to read the messages she'd been sending after getting no reply from you.

ven my love: dishonor on you dishonor on your cow ven my love: looking forward to summer obvs :-* ven my love: miss u ven my love: is it tru that youre fucking felixs newest toy?? ven my love: the one farleigh hates lol ven my love: is that why u and far got in a tiff? ven my love: ignoring me i see ven my love: youre no fun :(

Sighing deeply, you think carefully as you read through the texts once more before starting your reply.

Y/N: miss you too ven

Her response comes less than a minute later, before you could even properly address any of her other comments.

ven my love: FINALLY Y/N: fi nd me were with ollie all day. i have a life outside of you ven my love: boo no u dont i never agreed to that ven my love: and whats so special about ollie?? ive heard what farleigh thinks about him Y/N: fars is biased ven my love: and you and felix are the pinnacle of impartiality.......

You could almost see her rolling her eyes behind her phone, sarcasm practically dripping from the screen, knowing Venetia. She had a point, but you didn't want to acknowledge it. However, she didn't even give you time before your phone chimes with another text.

ven my love: he's felix's new eddie isnt he

There's something that reads as smug in the message and you have to snap your phone shut to avoid the sudden rage building up inside of you. Part of you would always, unconditionally love Venetia, you knew as much, and part of you would always have an unconditional distaste for Eddie for reasons you refuse to think deeply about, but Felix had fucking loved him. Their shared betrayal shattered parts of him that he still hadn't fully recovered from, and you may not have loved Eddie, but you'd never forgive him for how happy he made Felix, only to rip that away by fucking around with Venetia.

ven my love: ignoring me again ven my love: god you're SO sensitive

Venetia's callousness about it all was one of the few things that set you on edge, and she knew this. Felix pretended to be above it all, but Venetia took some small semblance of joy knowing she was one of the few people able to get under your skin when she wanted.

You finally reply, scowling at your phone the entire time you wait for her expectedly blasé response.

Y/N: one day fi is gonna deck u for what happened with eddie and im not gonna defend you im gonna laugh ven my love: felix is a baby about what happened but he wouldn't hit me and u know it :p Y/N: then i will Y/N: don't test me ven you know id do it too ven my love: touchy touchy... youre so mean

Is all she sends back for the night. Though you go to sleep unfortunately angry, you wake up surprisingly refreshed, and with a single text, from Ollie this time, thanking you and Felix for yesterday, and once again reassuring you that he was much better today.

Exams keep you all busy for the next few days, nights at the pub traded in for all hours in the library amongst the books and struggling to keep each other on task. Oliver becomes something of a recluse, but always answers your texts when you check in on him.

Farleigh's incredibly unhelpful when it comes to studying; he's always been incredibly academically gifted, and is somehow breezing through his first year exams, seemingly only coming to your study sessions for the company. It frustrates Felix to no end, who's had his head buried in his notes far more than anyone else in your group had expected. Some of them tease him, but once they realise how serious he is about doing well in his exams, they leave him be.

As much as his reputation was easy going, he was still Felix Catton; he wouldn't let himself fail with so many eyes on him. That was something you had in common, even if the eyes on you weren't immediately apparent.

Studying with Felix is quiet when it's just the two of you. You quiz each other in the quiet of the library for classes you share, compare notes and quietly bicker about lectures you both only half remember. Often he gets tired of it all before you, so you read out from whatever textbook you're trying to get into, and let him draw in the margins of your notebook.

Geometric patters with no rhyme or reason, swirls, creatures that resemble no living animal despite what he says, rough sketches of eyes focused with brows furrowed, lips bitten or speaking, things he shrugs at and sheepishly has no explanation for when you finally look up from your textbook.

It's almost midnight, you're slowing down as your eyes are stinging for how long you've been focusing on your business textbook. Felix has forgone even messing with your notes and is now slumped over, chin on the table as he gazes out into the middle distance. Beneath the table, he's fidgeting idly with your free hand, playing with your fingers idly as he listens to you rattle off -

"Now moving on, we come to the most effective strategies for profit maximisation within a consumer-first business model -" around a yawn, but Felix can't help but interrupt.

"God, why the fuck are we even taking Econ?" He puffs out his cheeks petulantly.

"This isn't Econ," you yawn again, and he flops his head to the side, cheek flush against the notes he was ignoring, looking particularly tired and childish, "it's, um, Business Marketing, I think?" Felix blows a loud raspberry, and you realise that you're probably not going to get anything else done.

"Why did I sign up for Business Marketing? Doesn't sound like me."

"I signed up for Business Marketing because I thought it'd be good for my future," you rattled off with a put-upon air, closing your textbook and attempting to clean up your scattered notes with one hand, "and I said Felix you're going to hate this, just like you hated it back in first year, but you insisted, no, like a foolish hero," you rolled your eyes, "refusing to let me suffer alone."

"Fuck past-Felix," present-Felix pouts, "can't believe he's done this to me." It's enough to make you laugh, however, and you give him a gentle pet, thanking him for his sacrifice even if it didn't seem worth it to him in that current moment. Finally he sits up, letting go of your hand and taking the hint to start collecting up his own things.

"We should get to bed, so tomorrow-Felix doesn't hate you during his nine-am Econ exam -" Felix cuts you off with a loud groan, throwing his head back in despair.

"Why the fuck am I taking Econ again?" He demanded to know, shoving his things into his bag with the kind of vitriol the poor papers really didn't deserve.

"Because you promised your dad you would."

"Fuck, right," he groaned, "remind me, next year, I'm only taking art and theatre classes. My exams are going to be interpretive dance, and Jackson Pollock recreations," slinging his bag over his shoulder, he levels an unimpressed look at where you're doing badly at repressing your amused grin, "I'm serious Y/N."

"I know, Fi," you snicker, you can't help yourself, petting him on the shoulder as the two of you head out of the library together.

"It's going to be avant garde and it'll be the easiest exam I ever do; spunk and a black light on canvas," Felix, seemingly having slipped into that state just past tired where he starts speaking nonsense, keeps going, "out of spite," he adds.

"Is this for the interpretive dance or the Jackson Pollock recreation?" You smirk, playing along with the bit, "and will it be your spunk or random peoples' spunk? Talk me through the application process."

"It'll be my submission for both;" he says, far too sure of himself, "just me, dick in hand, in front of the exam people," he deliberates for a moment, "black light in the other hand," and he nods very firmly, as if set on his plan, "it's provocative, it's confronting and will make them reconsider what art is; I'll get a perfect score." Then, under his breath, "fucking nine o'clock Econ exam." And you pat his back in solidarity, arriving outside of his dorm. With a heavy sigh he wraps you up in a hug, and kisses you on the forehead.

"I'll be by at eight-thirty to make sure you don't miss it."

"Fucking nine o'clock fucking Econ fucking exam," is all Felix says with a shake of his head, heading inside as you chuckle to yourself.

In bed, once again winding down for the night, you notice another text from Venetia, the first in several days.

ven my love: still mad at me? Y/N: depends on what u want now ven my love: i can work with that ;) ven my love: come manhandle me im bored Y/N: and im several hours away from you and more importantly an exam ven my love: i'll pay for your train ticket. first class xx\ ven my love: i'll hire a carriage and make duncan pull it like a horse all the way to oxford and back. ven my love: i'll only wear nice lingerie and you can have your way with me in the back like in pride and prejudice ;) Y/N: thats not what happens in pride and prejudice ven my love: it is in my head. kiera knightly is so fit Y/N: youre thinking of that scene in the titanic ven my love: thats kate winslet ven my love: but yeah i am ven my love: for my birthday can you hire leo dicaprio to come to my party so i can shag him in the back of a carriage ven my love: come on you can afford it Y/N: ill shag you in the back of a carriage or a car or anywhere you want when i next see you Y/N: for free ven my love: ugh fine luv u. come home soon xx

And honestly, even with only a few exams left to go, you can't help but agree. Soon can't come soon enough.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton x reader #felix catton imagine #oliver quick x reader #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick imagine #oliver quick x y/n #oliver quick x you #venetia catton imagine #venetia catton x reader #venetia catton x you #head heart hand fic #manic writer

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rancidpancakebatter · 2 years ago

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Choose Me (Fix It)-[P.P.]

Pairings: TASM!Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Summary: Trouble in paradise and the Green Goblin, what could possibly go wrong? (Everything...everything can go wrong)

Word Count: 5.5k words

Content: Swearing, Mentions of pregnancy, Mentions of Miscarages, Near-death experience, Hospitals, Happy ending

( Masterlist )

A/N: @thoserthebestkind I hope this is a sufficient fix-it. I apologise that it took me so long to make this, to be completely candid I forgot, lol.

I changed the formatting a bit and there were some minor revisions to the original story.

I added a cute text break to indicate transitions from past and present.

I hope you like the little epilogue :))

Life was cruel sometimes. That was the only thought you could think as you felt this crushing weight on your chest. You could slightly make out someone calling your name; you turned your head around looking for the source.

“No, don’t move, it’s okay. Just stay there. Stay right there.” His voice sounded strained, he was grunting. You saw him then. The red and blue suit and pale white eyes staring back at you. Stuck under rubble and debris. Trying his best to pull himself up was Spider-Man, Peter Parker. Your Peter Parker.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You thought back to just this morning. You had woken up to an empty bed, something you hated saying you were used to. You checked your phone, first checking to see if your husband had tried to reach out to you at all. When that came up empty you checked Twitter to see if there were any updates on Spider-Man.

Anytime you saw he was trending you felt your heart in your throat. Worried that this time it wouldn’t be because he stopped some super-something-or-rather, but because it had stopped him. Luckily there was nothing there either. Just silence.

You began getting ready, showering, brushing your teeth, and making breakfast. You were getting dressed when you heard your window open. You ignored the man and his quiet footsteps, focusing on choosing a jacket.

You felt his arms circle your waste as his chin came to rest on your shoulder. “Good morning, beautiful.”

You felt anger burn in your chest at his nonchalantness. “Where were you, Peter?”

He released you from his grasp, knowing that tone all too well now. “I was patrolling.”

His reply came out dry and tired. You fixed your blazer before turning to face him. He looked mostly intact, there was a small bruise on his jaw but other than that he seemed fine.

“All night?” You were aggravated. You were tired of having this conversation with him.

He brought his hand up to his face, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Yes, all night. Do you think I was doing something else?”

You clenched your jaw, counting to three, just like your marriage councillor taught you.

“No,” You said curtly, “I know that’s what you were doing because that’s what you’re always doing. You’re never here because you’re always patrolling.”

Peter shook his head letting out a humourless laugh. “Yeah? Well, why would I be here? For the past three months, it’s just been this!” He threw his finger quickly between the two of you.

You let out a dry chuckle of your own, looking up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. “Right, and that’s completely my fault, isn’t it?”

Peter didn’t say anything, just looking at you with dead eyes. Ones that used to be so full of love you almost couldn’t stand to look at them. Ones that used to crinkle when he laughed, he didn’t do that so much anymore.

He was right, you guys had been fighting a lot. Something you never used to do. Being with Peter was one of the easiest decisions you had ever made in your life. He got you, in a way no other person could. There was no need to quarrel because you guys were always on the same page.

When Peter told you he was Spider-Man it scared you. You had been dating for a year and studying with him for two. He had cancelled on you again. You shook with anger and confusion. Midterms were coming up and you needed to get good grades to keep your scholarship. You had been so stressed out and Peter promised to help. He promised.

“What could possibly be more important than this?” You remember shouting at him. You watched as he ran his hands through his hair before grabbing his backpack and leaving with a small, “I’m sorry.”

That night he returned to you, early in the morning. He sat you down and broke the news to you. At first, you were in disbelief but he made his point by jumping up and hanging from the ceiling by his fingertips.

Your brain started connecting the dots. All the times he seemed to be covered in bruises only for them to disappear a day later, making you think you must have dreamed them. Peter’s absence during big events only for Spider-Man to appear, saving the day. His constant tardiness.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You had started crying and he quickly let go of the ceiling and sat next to you on the sofa. He pulled you into his lap and began caressing your hair. He wasn’t sure what you were feeling but he wanted to make it better.

“That’s how I lost her.” Gwen. You never knew her but he had mentioned her before. He had brought her up in that first year of college. He had brought her up again before you had agreed to date him. He told you that she had died. He told you that he was scared. You understood now, of course, you didn’t have the whole picture but you had enough.

Your worry for Peter never diminished, if anything it grew. The longer you were together the more you loved him and the more you loved him the more you saw a future with him. But it’s hard to plan for a future when your partner is mindlessly chasing some abomination through the streets of New York. And worry can be masked by many emotions, mainly anger.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You heard a sardonic cackle in the air above you. “Oh Peter, won’t you save her?”

You didn’t like the way he said his name. That wasn’t for him to say. You heard some heavy steps, then metal colliding with something before Peter groaned. You mustered as much energy as you could.

“Leave- leave him alone!” It wasn’t very loud but the attacker heard you. You listened as heavy steps came towards you.

Your vision was blurry but you made out big blond hair, cold blue eyes, and a pale face with lots of veins. His suit seemed metallic and hefty. He squatted down, closer now, grabbing your face; his fingers digging into your cheeks. It hurt.

“Oh, Peter dear!” He sang in a nasal tone, “Ms Lady doesn’t look too hot over here. You might want to hurry up!” He called the last part over his shoulder. He was mocking Peter and it made you angry.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

three months ago you held a pregnancy test in your shaking hands. Your palms were so sweaty that you dropped the box twice trying to open it. You were three weeks late and you ran to the bodega down the street as soon as you realised.

You and Peter had been married for three years now. You had made it through college, a teaching licence and many monsters together. You were nervous, to say the least. You wanted a family with Peter. You loved the man and you knew how important family was to him. You wanted to be able to give him that.

You twisted the rings on your fingers waiting for your timer to go off. You admired the small diamond on your engagement ring. It was Aunt Mays. She had given it to Peter to propose with. He told you later that he hadn’t even considered it until she did, but then he realised that marrying you was all he wanted to do. Your heart melted at the thought.

It was positive.

Your anxiety grew tenfold at the realization. You were going to have a baby. You were going to have a baby with your amazing husband. You were going to start a family. But if he wasn’t more careful he wasn’t going to be around to see it.

You told May. You had to. You were dying to tell someone but also you wanted to tell her. She had become a mother to you in a lot of ways over the years and you were delighted to tell her she was going to be a grandmother. She wasn't thrilled about Peter not knowing but also understood that you were scared.

Now you were too busy fighting to tell him. Too scared that he hated you too much now to want you. Terrified because when you told him it would be real.

You convinced Peter that you should do some couples counselling and he hated the idea but agreed to do it. You needed help to tell him, but it never came up. Between the therapist trying to figure out what Peter’s second “job” was and you two snipping at each other, not much progress was made.

“We pay this guy up the ass and it doesn’t seem to be helping!” Peter once said to you. Silent tears fell down your face, unsure how to defend it without coming clean about lying to him for a month.

“It’s only, like, a hundred a session. That’s not so bad.” You were wringing your hands in the cold December air. Something Peter usually picked up on, but not lately.

“Yeah, well so far I don’t think I’ve gotten my 300 dollars worth.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

“Don't fucking touch her!” Peter sounded distressed and you wanted to fix it, but you were useless in this situation.

You felt a dull ache throughout your body. You remembered then, the baby. You looked down at the debris littering your body and began to cry. There’s no way they survived this, you would be lucky to.

Peter heard your hiccuping and it seemed that’s all he needed. He broke free from the rubble and when he saw Harry’s hands on you his vision clouded with red.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You remembered this morning. Peter staring at you from the edge of your bed three feet away but never feeling so far. You balled your fists taking a shuddery breath. “I just don’t understand why it’s so hard to choose me.”

And with that, you grabbed your coat and walked out the door. You had been fighting about his Peter-to-Spider-Man ratio a lot lately. You wanted Peter home more, and safe. He said he couldn’t just tell crime to stop, so he had to keep going out. You were arguing in circles and it was getting you nowhere.

Your whole day at work you were a snivelling mess. The kids didn’t complain as you declared it a video day, each class loving the selection of Bill Nye videos you had chosen. You were about to leave the campus to get some lunch when you heard a knock on your classroom door. You wiped your tears and beckoned them in.

Peter was still in his lab coat, probably rushing over here from his day job. Usually, you would swoon at the sight of him but you were still very upset and maybe a little hangry (and quite possibly pretty hormonal as well). You crossed your arms in your chair and said nothing as he came closer.

“Darling,” He began. “I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

His eyes held a certain softness that had almost become alien to you. The coldness you had become accustomed to now melted into gentle, dark chocolate. You tried to keep your stare stern as he continued walking toward you.

“You’re right, I-” He stopped abruptly, his face falling from neutral to distressed very quickly. You pulled your brows together in confusion, unable to keep your face level.

“Have you been crying?” You looked away embarrassed. You were angry and you didn’t want him to see you weak. Suddenly, he was on his knees in front of you.

“Oh, Honey, I’m so sorry. I- I made you cry at work. Well…crying at all is bad but this is really bad.” You refuse to look at him as you feel new tears fall. Your door unexpectedly creeps open.

“Mrs Parker, are you in here? Mrs- Oh, sorry I didn’t know you were busy.” You look past Peter to see a student in the doorway.

Travis Deakin was an odd kid, he wore a flat cap and a Minecraft creeper hoodie every day, with his trapper keeper strap slung across his chest. He was weird and someone you would have found annoying when you were his age, but he was kind and did his work on time.

“It’s quite alright Travis, I’m never too busy for my favourite student.” Peter shifted to sit beside you on his haunches, admiring how you treated your students. You noticed Travis was staring at Peter and decided to introduce them, “Travis, this is my husband, Mr Parker.”

You watched as the boy gave Peter a small wave and Peter returned it. “I’m sorry to interrupt, I just want to make sure you were okay.”

You tilted your head and quirked a brow, “Of course, I’m okay.”

“It’s just…everyone’s said they’ve seen you crying today.” Travis was playing with the strap of his trapper keeper as if worried about getting in trouble for saying it.

You gave the kid a genuine smile, “I’m okay, I promise. Thank you though. That’s very kind of you to check on me.”

You tried to ignore Peter staring at you, knowing his expression would be filled with guilt. Travis didn’t seem convinced and chewed on his bottom lip as if debating whether to say something else. You sat, patiently waiting.

“Is it because you’re pregnant?” Your jaw dropped, your mouth flapping like a fish as you stuttered over what to say.

“I-well I- um, Trevor that’s…um” Peter cut you off before you could conjure up an excuse.

“You’re pregnant?” Peter’s face was back in front of yours. You couldn’t quite read his expression and you didn’t think you wanted to. You looked back at the kid who now seemed alarmed looking between you and Peter.

“Um, Trevor why- why would you think I’m pregnant?” You watched as he shuffled from foot to foot, Peter unmoving and hands on your waist.

“Well, you seem really happy, and you hold your belly a lot when you talk…and I heard Ms Kragger say you are.” You chuckled before letting out a sigh. You looked into Peter’s eyes smiling.

“Yes, It’s because I’m pregnant.” You had never seen Peter smile so wide, you think he created more dimples. He picked you up from the chair spinning you around. You giggled in glee as he brought you in for a kiss.

“God, I’m so happy. I love you so much.” You giggled and Trevor excused himself, shutting the door.

“I love you too, Peter.” You ran a hand through his hair, soaking in the sweetness you had been deprived of. His smile faltered slightly as he searched your eyes.

“How long have you known?” You looked away from him, ashamed.

“Three months,” You said in a voice so small that he wasn’t sure he would have caught it without his supersonic hearing.

You watched in horror as Peter fell to his knees, his head carefully buried in your stomach.

“I’m so sorry. You’ve been so worried about me and I just-” You massaged his scalp, trying to ignore his tears wetting your shirt.

“Peter, it’s okay. It’s okay, love-” He raised his head, shaking it furiously from side to side before resting his chin on your belly.

“It’s not, but please know I choose you (Y/n). I’ll always choose you.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You couldn’t move your hands. You couldn’t feel them much either. You wanted to push the rocks off of you, to curl up and hold your stomach. You knew realistically the baby was gone but you couldn’t let yourself think that.

Tears of frustration racked through you as you tried your best to move. You heard Peter and that guy fighting, they were talking but you couldn’t make it out. You were scared. You didn’t want to die, and certainly not like this. Peter needed you and you couldn’t leave him, not yet. There was still so much you wanted to do.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

“We should make a bucket list!” Peter chuckled from the kitchen, where he was washing plates from dinner. He stepped over to the coffee table and sat beside you on the floor.

“Why? Planning on dying anytime soon?” You shoved his shoulder with yours.

“No, never, but I think it would be fun.” You grab a notebook and pen from your backpack, labelling it "Future Parkers' Bucket List." He smiled and you continued to scribble things down as he peered over your shoulder.

“Hey, that one doesn’t count,” Peter said pointing to the first thing you wrote down: “Marry Peter Parker.”

“Yeah, it does! It’s important when making goals that you also have mid-goals and easily obtainable ones, so you don’t get bogged down by a lack of progress.” Peter relented and continued moving down the list, reading them out loud.

“‘Own five plants at the same time and keep them alive for at least a year’, ‘Learn to drive a manual', ‘Go on a hike’-Have you never been hiking before?” You shook your head no and Peter continued.

“‘Win one honest game of chess against Peter’. Yeah, keep dreaming, love. ‘Vacation on a different continent’, ‘Own a pet named Pancake’, ‘Learn the Footloose Dance’” Peter’s smile doubled as he read the last one.

“We can get this one done now,” He said with a wolfish grin. Peter ran to grab his laptop and set it up on the entertainment system. He then turned to grab your hand and lifted you from the floor. Your chest blossomed with love as he brought your ringed finger to his lips, giving you a soft kiss there.

One hour and three dance tutorials later you had both mastered the moves, you continued dancing around your living room when Peter declared, “We should play this at the wedding!”

You laughed but it was still played. You let Peter lead you to the dance floor once again as he now placed a kiss on your wedding band. You and Peter were the only ones there that knew it besides Aunt May and a few of your uncles.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You cried harder as you realized your life was flashing before your eyes. That wasn’t good. Neither was the coldness you felt seeping into your bones. All you could do was lay there…and die.

There was no second wind, no sudden powers coming, no way to pull yourself out, no chance. Your eyes felt heavy and you knew what that meant. You closed them smiling as your memories continued to bring you peace.

Your wedding vows came to mind:

“Peter Benjamin Parker, I promise to love you and cherish you every day. I promise to support you in all your endeavours. I promise to be the love of your life for the rest of your life. You have been my best friend for these past six years and I couldn’t imagine anyone taking your place. When life gets hard I promise to be there. When money gets tight I promise to make you fancy ramen. With kindness, selflessness, and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together.”

Had you done that? You had loved him for sure. Did you cherish him enough? Were you supportive and kind and selfless and trusting? You did your best. You worried now that it hadn’t been enough. And there was no time to fix it.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

Four hours ago Peter returned home early from patrol. You were grading papers and distracted. Suddenly your vision was filled with roses, and you turned to see your adoring husband behind you.

“Roses? For me?” You held your hand over your heart and released a dramatic gasp.

“But of course!” He leaned down to give you a kiss on the forehead. You began tearing up.

“Oh, baby, You shouldn’t have!” Peter, confused by your sudden tears, squatted beside you in your chair to move some hair out of your face.

“Oh, I definitely should have. It’s the least I can do for my darling. You deserve much more than twelve. More like a hundred, a thousand!” You chuckled at his dramatics.

“Sounds expensive,” You joked, bringing a hand up to hold his cheek. He leaned into it, pretending to consider it.

“Hmm, would you settle for five hundred?” You giggled pecking him on the cheek, before getting up to put them in a vase.

Peter trailed behind you as you made your way to the kitchen.

“I wanna take you out to dinner tonight.” You placed the vase down and looked at him carefully.

“Peter Parker, are you asking me out on a date?” One thing that had never changed was how much you guys loved to tease each other. You imagined that you would be in a nursing home swapping quips and the thought warmed your heart.

Peter walked to you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Will you make me the luckiest guy in the world and say yes?”

An hour ago you were sitting at a nice restaurant. You hesitated when getting dressed, your baby bump becoming a little harder to hide. You settled on a dress that didn’t hug you too tightly and greeted your husband in the living room.

Peter assured you that you could have anything you wanted. You had ordered dessert first and when the waiter offered you wine Peter shooed him away so quickly you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Peter he’s allowed to offer, it’s his job. I’m pretty sure you scared him.” Peter was still glaring daggers at the poor server who had made his way to a different table.

“Good! You shouldn't offer pregnant people wine, is he crazy?”

You reached across the table to grab his hands, bringing his attention back to you. After hearing what your student said today, Peter realized he was the dumbest person in the world. All the signs were right in front of him, he was just too blind to see them. He would spend the rest of his life making it up to you.

“I love you (F/n) (M/n) Parker.” You felt pride and love blossom within you, warming your cheeks.

“I Love y-”

An explosion went off and Peter was quick to his feet. He gave you a look and you nodded knowing what he needed to do. Everyone began to evacuate and you got lost in the sea of people. Once outside you saw the fire in the distance. Suddenly all you could think of was Peter. You ran towards the building seeing Peter battling some dude on a hoverboard.

Everything happened so quickly. He was thrown to the ground and you heard a snap. You yelled for him and then you heard another explosion, and another, and another. Before you knew it the building in front of you was falling. Coming directly for you and Peter. He was trying to push himself off the ground but he wasn’t moving fast enough. You began to run towards him, to use your body to shield him. You couldn’t lose him, not after everything.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

You felt a hand on your face, wiping at your tears, “Hey, hey! (Y/n) look at me. Open your eyes, come on look at me!”

You tried your best, but your head hurt and your vision was cloudy. You could make out the soft umber eyes of your lover, filled with tears. His face was covered in grime. You felt enormous pressure taken off of you as you heard rocks tumble to the ground.

You took a deep shuddery breath, your lungs felt like they were on fire. You tried getting up but Peter gently pushed you down. “No, no, stay there it’s- it’s okay.”

You tried moving every muscle in your body, but the only one that could move was your left hand. You brought it up to cradle his face. Peter gripped it so hard you thought it might snap. There was blood on his hand and you began to panic.

“You- your bleeding?” It came out more of a question. A sob racked through his body as he looked at you. You followed his gaze seeing a piece of steel rebar cutting through your stomach.

You started crying again, “The baby…”

It was too much. You had a whole future ahead of you. One filled with laughter and Peter chasing around your toddler and Aunt May spoiling them with gifts. One filled with dogpiling in bed because of a nightmare. One filled with you and Peter.

You heard sirens in the distance. And Peter looked up, a small smile on his face, “It’s gonna be okay, they’re coming.”

You felt bad leaving him like this but you couldn’t keep fighting to stay. You were tired, you felt heavy, and you wanted to rest.

“I love you, Peter Parker” Your head rolled to the side too tired to keep it upright. You felt his hand rush to your face lifting it for you.

“No, no, no! (Y/n)! (Y/n) look at me!” You couldn’t, not anymore.

Your eyes were too heavy. You gathered everything you had left and squeezed his hand, “I’m sorry.”

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

The first thing you remember feeling was a deep pressure in your head. It felt as if your brain had quadrupled in size and now was splitting your skull. Then you felt an itch in your nose, an irritation in your nostrils. Your entire body felt sore but as you focused you felt them moving and contracting, so that’s good.

You brought a hand up to scratch your nose and felt hard plastic against your fingers. You went to move it but a hand stopped you.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Don’t move that, let me get a doctor.” Her hands were soft, and her cadence was one you recognised well.

You tried to open your eyes but everything was too bright. You groaned as the fluorescent beams attacked your retinas, bringing your arm up to block them. You felt a twinge in the crook of your elbow and were able to make out an I.V. in your arm. You looked to the door and saw May smile as she flicked the lights off for you, before assuring you she would be right back.

You took a moment to take in your surroundings. By your bedside table, there were many bouquets of flowers in all shapes, sizes, and colours. As you took around the rest of the room you realised flowers were everywhere around the space. You were surrounded by a small garden, and it brought a small smile to your face.

Behind the jungle of flora, there was a chair and a small couch made up like a bed. Neither of them looked particularly comfortable. There was a book resting atop the messy sheets but from here you couldn’t see what it was.

You didn’t get to dwell on it long. You heard a commotion in the hallway. Fast, heavy footsteps approached as several people exclaimed for the offender to slow down. You felt panic rising as you heard the EKG machine beep faster. Your brain conjured up a terrifying scenario in which the ghostly man from before had come to finish you off.

A silhouette entered the door frame and froze. You both locked eyes, in a state of disbelief. As he stepped closer your heart rate continued to gallop, but instead of fear, you felt love.

“(Y/N)?” He sounded broken, desperate. You could hear the rasp in his throat and you wondered why his vocal cords were in such a state.

He moved to your bedside before falling to his knees. His hands wrapped around yours before burying his face in them. You felt the wetness on his face and watched as his shoulders shook.

“You- you woke up. We didn’t know if you would. I- I thought I lost you. Fuck, I thought I lost you. The doctors said they didn’t know if you were gonna wake up. I thought you were gone.” Words fell from Peter’s mouth like a waterfall. You tried to pull him from the waters before he drowned.

“Pete, I’m right here.” Your voice was just as wrecked as his, but you knew yours was due to inactivity. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

You squeezed his hands as he continued to sob. Your heart shattered seeing him like this. Peter had been through so much, experienced more loss than any one human should. You felt almost guilty for making him face that fear once again. You brought his hands up and held them to your lips, trying to piece him back together as best as you could.

May returned with a doctor and Peter refused to step away, forcing the doctor to do his examination around him. You had broken a few bones and you had a concussion but that was expected. They had to perform surgery on your wound, though with rest and plenty of pain meds, you should be fine.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, but unfortunately, due to the nature of the trauma you endured, your baby did not survive.” Peter held you as you cried together. You knew it was ridiculous to hope that they might, but you couldn’t help it.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

“Peter! Are you almost ready?” You called across the house.

“Yeah! Just a second!” You heard him call back from the bedroom.

You were setting up a camera in the living room when you heard him emerge. You gasped as you took in his costume. He was dressed as Jack Sparrow, complete with a wig and hat.

“Oh, Pete you look great,” You said as you walked over to your beloved husband. He pulled you in close as your hands came up to cradle his face, gracing him with a loving kiss. His grin was blinding as he pulled away.

“Just wait till you see Benny’s.” He moved to stand beside you as he called out to your son.

His small frame emerged from the doorway with a dramatic jump and pose. He really was his father’s son. His face was twisted into a silly sneer with his finger curved in the shape of a hook, “Arg!”

You clapped in glee, then bent down with open arms. Ben ran to them and you rested him on your hip. “Oh wow Benny, you look so cool!”

He had declared that everyone would dress as characters from Pirates of the Caribbean after watching it for the first time a few months ago. Your boys had wanted to surprise you, which meant they had to elicit the help of Aunt May for their costumes. Benny was Davey Jones because he thought he was cool. He wore a beard of stuffed tentacles on his face but you could tell by the scrunch of his eyes he was beaming underneath.

“You too, Momma!” You tilted his hat up to place a kiss on his forehead. He places his small, gentle hands on your cheeks and you let him angle your head down so he could leave you one there too.

He wanted Peter to hold him for the photo and reached out for him as you stood in front of your mantle. The camera flashed as you all posed. You pressed the shutter another time as you and Peter smooshed your son’s face with your lips, Ben’s giggle ringing through the air.

Peter set down Ben and told him to get his candy basket. As soon as Benny made his way down the hall Peter grabbed your waist and the back of your head and dipped you. He brought his lips to yours and you heard the camera shutter go off again. You looked into the eyes of your husband and saw nothing but pure adoration.

“I love you (F/n) (M/n) Parker.” You grinned.

“I love you, Peter Benjamin Parker.” He pulled you into another kiss.

“Ew!” You broke away from each other, laughing at your son covering his eyes.

Peter lifted you back up before crouching low and scooping up your child, hanging him upside down as he tickled his sides. “No, you’re ew!”

You chuckled as they seemed lost in their own little world for a moment. You hated to interrupt it, but you caught a glimpse of the clock.

“Alright boys, we have to leave now if we wanna catch May before she goes to sleep.” Peter sighed setting down Ben.

You watched as Benny put his pudgy hand in Peters, “Come on, Daddy. I wanna see Gamma.”

Peter smiled wide as he allowed his son to pull him to the door, “Yeah, let’s go see Gamma.”

They took a few steps forward before Peter stopped, extending his hand to you. You placed your hand in his as you walked to the door. You rested your other hand on your stomach, wishing the little one inside you could hear this. That they knew they would be loved, so loved. You hoped they knew how amazing their father was.

Tag List: @andrews-lovr, @heejinw0rld, @invisibletrolleyson-jeremy, @negasonic-teenage-asshole, @preciousbabypeter, @princesskittycatofmeowland, @rudy-the-winged-wolf, @scorpiolystoned, @wannapizzamymindposts, @whoreforklitz,

I think I finally got all of my tags sorted but if you think a mistake was made please dm me or fill out the tag list form linked in my masterlist. (I really suggest you look at the masterlist bc it sorts it easier and you get more options)

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