#scarlettstitt

[scarlettlovestitt]

She stood on the edge of the metal fence, smiling, ready for someone to tell her to jump or go back or to start again.

Readying herself she breathed in, sucking air up her spine. In many ways she had been ready for this moment since the day of her birth. The ensuing years had been preparation at best, onslaught at worst, and she felt she had no more to offer a system that had blighted her so determinedly.

She exhaled, wafting the lazy waves of half baked anxiety away on the wind, ready for their casual snake round and up and into the back of her head, as they always did, the hounds of self loathing laughing at her on the brink of every new discovery, blocking the light.

At last she opened her eyes, dazzled by the sunlight across the meadow in the city’s smokiest district. The plot had been bought by faceless men, and was due to be dug out, laced with explosives and bombed tomorrow before the sun rose again. Laughing she reminded herself of the good days, when land had felt sprawling and the adventures expansive, even endless.

On the horizon against the smoke she saw a swarm of ill defined business people beginning to gather at the concrete edge of the plot. Through the crowd she could sense his presence, and a wave of heady euphoria punched her in the stomach. She felt sick and dizzy, mesmerised and wet. She knew he would come.

Suddenly a wave of air from the sky slammed into her back and she jolted forwards, her arms and legs tensing ferociously to keep her welded to the steel beam overlooking the drop beneath. She suddenly began to wonder if this idea had been reckless and ill thought out. She wanted to go back to bed, to forget this scene had never happened, in the middle of the city’s smokiest district, for all the business people to see.

Laughing it off she tried to get down but a deeper instinct froze her to the spot. She was suspended between states of action and passivity, and as the sun glared down at her from on high she realised she was paralysed, naked and visible to everyone in a 5 mile radius, including the cars.

She had failed to be brave again. It was like yesterday’s version of her knew she would, even as yesterday she thought out this radical plan, glitching with excitement. Fixing a smile now, she stayed rooted still, hoping the fuss would altogether die.

Eventually she cracked open an eye. She couldn’t make out any of their faces, apart from his. After all, his eyes always had a particularly enigmatic clash of yellow and blue-gray, like a lion’s. She wanted him to devour her, and fantasised regularly about his teeth on her neck. She could see through the weeds and dust that there were some footprints in the red clay. It dawned on her that the very act of suicide was merely a failed cliche.

Then a shadow fell across her face. The sun was blocked by a figure emanating a dense, soot like black, like the source, or a cosmic suction. The sun framed his matted hair, the wisps of fraying nylon static against his decaying suit jacket. He had come.

“Hello?” She bleated, a flush rising up her neck like a cry for help. She knew this was nearing the end and she was wildly delighted to see him.

He didn’t answer, but reached his hand out to feel her stomach. Her jaw unclenched, her muscles unknotted and her arms reached out instinctively to clutch at his shoulders, her form falling into his like a perfect mould. A moan escaped her lips.

From on high the sun roared and belched. Seated in the office window at the top of the conglomerate tower consigned to lithium and gas, you could barely make out a figure leaping into the depths of the construction pit.

[scarlettlovestitt]

There’s a crusty diamond in the dungeon that’s called frazzled, visiting her at work made me envious of her staff discount, wish I could walk out wearing all those clothes and afford everything I ever wanted, it isn't even that nice, yes it is, is it designer, is it on sale, is brick lane laughing at me, I got fired this week, I can’t afford to be late for work, so why are you always late? She tells my dad when he brings me a sandwich because I can’t afford to eat out again, this meal that thing, cursed wanting endless, is it my fault I’m an adrenaline junkie, stealing other people’s energy and/or time to fund my own corruption, but is it as corrupt if you’re an AFAB non-conformist, really I think it looks great on you you should wear it everywhere, fantasy never as good as the real deal, if I had more things to go to I’d be less obsessed with the way I look, have you been downstairs it’s got even more expensive, sorry it didn't work out, climbing to the top of the building to look at the view and all I can think of are the houses I’ll never be able to buy, if it was up to me I’d have massive warehouse windows that look like an old factory, hustle harder only to fall on the floor.

[scarlettlovestitt]

Found Poem Part 1

I win Your turn Ok fossil Joaquim Alberto Muito Bemalimentado Q: How far can a dog run into the woods? A: Furlong Look behind you

Love you dad Rawrrr Jessica Live a little!!! (Not too much!!!) Good luck Melan! (Will you ever see this again….?) Smile always Don’t base your life on what you can get away with but who you want to become Actions mutually reinforcing beliefs

Plop vs the world!

I hate my boyfriend How many times do I have to get cystitis til I get a letter from the King? Unite Break your boxes be open not narrow Will you succeed or no will you get a good job or no Mindset is everything so dream & make it happen Love me! I love you We are all connected I’m thinking of you You’re a beautiful person even when you’re on the toilet I’m not wearing any pants!

The girl who works here with the glasses smile more Instead of writing here why don’t you just go and talk to people and say something worth a smile She smiles at me cause I’m not a dick I’m just here for coffee and a nice read Ok everyone calm down Had to leave… the hipster vibes were getting to me That’s just what a hipster would say Accept it, we’re hipsters and it’s nothing to be ashamed of Meta… the hallmark of a hipster You too

I am Jay this is my favourite coffee shop in Islington, I will take my kids here someday, hopefully I buss case I love when guys look up my skirt! It turns me on so much Especially when I am not wearing any pants … I like it when girls look at the bogeys up my nose Have you guys seen Miss Kitty? She was last seen here, table dancing and drinking espresso xxxx P.S. she loved every minute LIFE HAPPENING FOR US NOT TO US The Clockworks You are the best This is a gluten free wall? I’m in my early 20’s and everything feels intense, scary, uncertain, wonderful, finite. Does that stop? Learn to walk Hey I have feelings too you know You have tasty feelings Once honest never the same Nothing lasts forever that’s ok I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing Red Flag on Spotify I’m stressed 08/12/17 I made a difference

Found Poem Part 2

The goal of life is living in agreement with nature so go to the toilet when you need it Zero fucking fun in that Get caught wanking! Meat is murder Tofu is LIFE Meat is life come for me vegans I’ll take you all in a fight Donald Trump was ere hashtag Asslighter Work hard & be nice Vegan all sorts To the window to the wall till the sweat drops down my balls Use a little less toilet roll than you think you need

Your bum what Best Band in Barcelona Toot dent I’m in love with Nigel Leach You are loved you are valued you are wanted Lil Kim made me do it I miss Charlie I miss Ethan he was good in bed Shakira was here, call her

Big bad Lou Lou is nuts about Toush No spoons :( Big bad Lou likes fart ups so do big bad Tam Lol? I am less pretentious in real life I am going to have surgery soon and I feel scared It’s going to be okay

Happy six months Baby blue where it all started I’ve been forced out of London by property hoarding boomers and rich kids - gonna miss you all and this beautiful place Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams Pink ferrets Plop versus the world 2! One o clock two o clock three o clock BLOCK

I’m scared that one day I’ll have to stop going here cause it will remind me of you Sexy alive I recognise that snake! Big bad Lou and big Tom rule The staff look tired

From da riva 2 da C, Palestine will B 3 Bad cop worse cop Trans rights are human rights Fuck all hipsters from Surrey Free Palestine and all oppressed people David Attenborough Women are not people with ovaries women exist don’t reduce women to protect others

Blue baby I want to believe All hail the sun king

First date here I met my soul mate (She is a monster) If I swore you were an angel would you treat me like a devil tonight Nazi cunts will be punched For a good time call Steve on 07775989687

Bash one out Decolonize education, Believe women I am Luis RIP Dad we miss you I miss RIP TRIP You are very loved Don’t pay for water One step at a time Think globally act locally Cherish your loved ones Don’t let them take fuck power To anyone who feels like they are lost in life or have fallen behind it is never too late to live the life you want to live to be who you want to be.

[scarlettlovestitt]

If it’s all by design then why am I unravelling

She sits on the tiles by the bath, snot pulsing out of her nose, her body convulsing with sobs

A broadsheet floats into the face of a man running down to old street roundabout late for work

The bus stops and sees weeds growing from the roof of the bus stop, wants to reach out and mark the mould with a finger but it can’t, it’s a bus

The lights flicker on in the hospice as a trans man swaps shifts with an evangelical Christian

The train hurtles from Richmond to Surrey Quays as the trees cast dancing dapples on the linoleum floor, illuminating the slanting shoes of strangers

Someone shovels cement into a mixer whilst another drills deep into the cement that already exists, re-laying foundations for empty apartment blocks

A woman walking home at night

A plane tracking empty gas in the sky

A boy stands at the station with gold paint on his face

The streets that leave London

[scarlettlovestitt]

I think about the 60's a lot. The era that started it all, and a time when all these kaleidoscopic possibilities around art, sex, culture, community found their expression.

I don't know if we're going to have a time like that again, looking back it's hard to see the wilful ignorance around ecology and environment, and as we hurtle toward the future armed with all this tech I wonder what we'll have learned from these 60's stars by 2060.

Maybe we'll realise we don't need things as much as the internet tells us we do. We'll probably still fancy Alain Delon and wear bangs like Jane Birkin.

[scarlettlovestitt]

There’s space for this too

Even in dying

Even in the slow, shallow breath

The wind rustles cells like leaves

And empty form becomes a space to play

“Will you give me your hand?”

Reaching for something but doesn’t know it’s significance

Form flicker in the shallow water

The shallowness of life seen dimly

At the water’s ebbing edge.

Blur your conscience and set foot back up the path

The mountains are AI, the park is Silvertown

A shallow lie leading to a deeper fall.

“I’m not ready yet” someone says.

Journey back to the beginning.

[scarlettlovestitt]

[scarlettlovestitt]

After Dark

Pink light bathed the street outside the sexy museum in Bethnal Green

Hoarders delight in Absinthe

The primal delight of a first meeting

Your smoke, my sweat, a standoff

London buries itself in anarchy at night

The poachers are out with the glittering queens

Having no choices choose repeat revelry

Rebels in shit suits with a savings account

And a culture begins again

Corporates morph into queers and back

Your hand on my spine feels.

I’ve been trying to find my way back from that night.

“You’re a dream”

But beginning again is the miracle of the city that keeps happening to me

While we move on from our mistakes

The lamps keep our secrets

There’s more dark than there is light

#scarlettstitt #love&malice