#scared to be attacked my dc fans I know I’ll get used to it cause I did the first time around but man he annoys the shit out of me

[drasticemotions]

UGH Jason Todd try not to be insufferable challenge impossible

[tdotsspot]

2020.....

Wow, it’s been almost TWO years since I've posted anything on here. I’ve thought about it from time to time, but never sat to actually say anything. I just looked at my last two posts....so funny. This is why I'll probably always keep this....just to look back, see where I was, who I was.

But back to 2020 bc HONESTLY this year is the one to go. down. in the mother. fucking. books. 

2019 was literally the best year of my life. It was the year I did the most traveling, the year I made the most money...it was like, perfect until the end. I went to Puerto Rico and St Thomas....Atlanta, Boston of course, MARTHA’S VINEYARD FINALLY and even though I've been there 100 times, this was the absolute best. Of course having Dameo was a plus, getting to show him my childhood summers, but Unc let me use the Mercedes which I legit fell in love with, we met Danny Glover which was crazy, I got the brass ring on my first try lol, and we had a lot of good food. LA, was amazing, I miss it so much....NY.....I feel like I’m missing a city, oh yes, dc! That was a fun drunk night.

Late November for Britt’s bday we all went out and that was the first time I was ever real life drunk around his fam, but it was so much fun. The next week....nana passed. It was sad, weird....I hadn’t lost someone in a really long time, and I was there to see some of her last lucid moments. We definitely got closer over the last two years or so since I visited her a good amount, and it made me more sad than I thought. I’m glad I got to have those moments with her, it was cool to get a grandmother again. Made me miss nanny a lot though...

A few weeks later, we found out I was pregnant! It was planned, we were excited although tbh I was kind of freaking out. A baby??? Like a whole ass human? No more weed, liquor, or runny eggs??? HOW SWAY! I don’t think I was ready yet, and a few weeks after that, RIGHT before Christmas, RIGHT before we were going to tell the family, I had a miscarriage. Goodness, I really wasn’t ready for that, at all. Obviously it’s common, but I never thought I’d have one....I was healthy, in a healthy relationship....happy....how the hell did this happen? Unfortunately we already told our moms at that time, partially to help cheer ang, and I knew my mom would be hype as well. I knew it was early, but I told some close friends as well. The pain I felt from that, I just didn't really expect. It was, really sad....I delayed our trip to Boston twice because I really just couldn’t bring myself to leave the bed and sit on a train for 6 hours. I almost canceled altogether but KNOWING NOW THAT THE FUCKING WORLD WAS GOING TO SHUT DOWN, I'm really glad we still went. It was reassuring to get my hugs from my mom, cry it out with her, and see the fam. Except Kendall was such a douche that visit *rolls eyes*. I did get to go see the friends pop up which LEGIT made my whole holiday. As such a huge fan, it was AMAZING, simply, amazing, and I got to enjoy it with my two older cousins and of course, the Dame. 

So that brings us to the new year of 2020. 2020 the year I think EVERYONE thought was going to be amazing, and maybe it will be. Maybe everything that’s going on albeit sad, overwhelming, insane....is in fact the year we all really needed. The Amazon was on fire, forever and as someone who truly cares about global warming that was super stressful. We almost had WWIII thanks to good old Trump, but boy oh boy....that was just the tip of the iceberg. A few weeks later AGAIN, I call my dr telling them I still haven’t gotten my period, my boobs hurt, and wtf is going on? She tells me to take another pregnancy test, which I thought was a joke because I JUST had a miscarriage weeks before, and yes we had sex, but we were ‘careful’. COME TO FIND OUT, my ass is pregnant again. I was, very confused...a little upset because I was planning on waiting a bit before trying for real again. I mean we just dealt with so much loss between nana and the miscarriage, I hadn’t even fully processed what my body just went through. I remember angrily buying the test because, those shits aren’t cheap.....peeing with the door open with Dame downstairs, (not at ALL romantic like the first time I told him) and looking down like....wait. “WHAT THE FUCK” about 3 times was said, I explained to dame this indeed does say I’m pregnant, but how?? 

30 minutes later, the world finds out Kobe Bryant died. There were a lot of emotions that day for sure. Even though I wasn’t a die hard Kobe fan or anything, for some reason this one really made me sad. Maybe because I was currently listening to a book his personal coach wrote; relentless....which is REALLY fucking good.

A week later, I'm confirmed via bloodwork that I am indeed pregnant and it’s time for take two! I didn't get excited until I passed my first trimester, just in case...but now at almost 26 weeks, I’m really excited to meet her. My babygirl! It’s still wild to know I’m about to be a mom, but I’m really pumped for both of us and I know we’ll make great parents. 

Ah yes, the mid march, covid 19 hits America. I was supposed to go on a three city tour to the west coast which I was very much looking forward to, before the world stopped. In fact, it was that very weekend, right after we had our ultrasound, the first and only visit Dame was allowed to come in, that everything stopped. A week or so later, a mid level of depression kicked in for me, which lasted about a month. I couldn’t believe that after WEEKS of puking and being dead ass tired, I was finally ready to work again, but I was Essentially unemployed. The west coast gig was a cute check, I had multiple events coming up that got canceled....weddings that got postponed, and all I could think about was I’m about to have a kid with no money. I went almost two entire months without making ANY money....luckily unemployment kicked in and I got a couple of grants I applied for because I really don’t know what I would’ve done. My mom of course was in my corner, and Dame would start working from home, but still fully employed so at least we wouldn’t be homeless. I knew there were hundreds of thousands of people in my boat, if not worse but I couldn’t help but be consumed with not making any money, and my 2020 year essentially being wiped out. 

Again, this was supposed to be MY year. Be a parent, make a lot of money, and I felt like I just fell flat on my face, in mud, and was suffocating. 

America’s approach to covid was trash, more and more people died...I was worried about my mom and aunts as they're older and more susceptible. This is the longest I've gone without seeing my mom, but thanks to technology! We literally FaceTime every day. 

I almost forgot! Red literally almost died. He got attacked by a pit that lives up the street and it was one of the scariest things I ever dealt with. We just came back from a cute little drive, it was absolutely beautiful out, and I just remember parking, letting him out for a walk, looking at a dog running but I couldn’t tell if it was on a leash or not. I then realized nope, this bitch is not on a leash, crossing the street, and watching it whip its head at me and red and sprinting across the street to attack him. I was absolutely terrified. My baby red, is literally getting mangled by a fucking pit by the neck. I’m also pregnant and scared the pit is going to attack me, that my stress is going to cause another miscarriage, and that I’m probably going to watch red die in front of my eyes. I completely blacked out on the woman who was sloppily running to get her dog off of him. Had it been a minute more, max, he would’ve been dead. I still picture it sometimes and it legit makes me so sad, but luckily he pulled through after about a week of healing, and a huge bloody abscess that needed to be drained. 

THEN about a month ago now, George Floyd was killed on tape by a cop and it changed the world. Between Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery dying and being cooped up for months in the house, major cities went up in flames, literally. It was a revolution that Is still happening which has caused corporate America to shove ‘black lives matter’ down our throats like black people just popped up, shown privileged ass white people who refuse to try and understand, racist fucks that just hate us so much....and the list goes on.

That’s been our year so far! and it about to get shut down again because because aren't taking covid seriously. 

Pregnancy has been really interesting though....not at all like what they show on tv and the movies. I’ve been emotional as hell crying over my body  changing....constipated af to the point where I now celebrate any time I shit, hella uncomfortable....but I know when we see her face it will indeed all be worth it. Doing this back to back though like Dame envisions....I don’t know man lol. We shall see. She's due in about 3.5 months. Check in before then....

Tdot, out. 

[sebeth]

Young Justice: Torch Song

Warning, Spoilers Ahead…

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 The return of Young Justice begins with the release of the first two issues of the prequel comic.

Let’s begin…

My boy Conner is on the cover.  Along with Miss Martian.  Can we please end this unhealthy relationship?  Both Conner and Megan need to expand their circle of friends and, more importantly, romantic partners. Preferably in a non-obsessive capacity.

The issues are titled “Torch Songs”. That doesn’t sound promising for the duo’s continued relationship.

The Watchtower, Team Year 6: August 8.

Miss Martian, Beast Boy, and a non-paralyzed Batgirl are at the Watchtower.

Superboy arrives. Megan appears excited until Superboy states “Huh. Didn’t know you’d be on this mission.”

Yeah, I’d say the reunion from last season’s finale didn’t last long.

Batgirl begins the mission briefing: Psimon has returned to the United States. Batgirl, Superboy, Miss Martian, and Beast Boy are team Alpha.

Megan confidently states she can handle Psimon.

Conner questions: “How?! By putting him in another coma?!”

“No! I wouldn’t do that!”

“Meaning you wouldn’t do that again.”

“No…you’re right…I won’t do that…again.”

While the duo bicker, Babs ask Gar: “What’s up with them? I know things were bad after their breakup, but I thought they were friends again.”

“They were. They got along great on Mars. I even thought they were heading towards couplehood again.”

“Well, something’s changed because they don’t look like a couple now.”

If I had to guess, I would say once the adrenaline wore down, Conner realized he still couldn’t trust Megan.  Not only was Megan destroying the minds of villains she attempted to alter Conner’s free will and memories.  That doesn’t even include Megan’s season 1 molding and manipulation of Conner to fit into her fantasy life.

Very unhealthy relationship.

Shouldn’t Babs have a stronger reaction to the “you wouldn’t do that again” line?  Megan escaped any consequences of her mind-destroying spree.

Were the Justice League even aware of Megan’s actions?  I can’t believe they were or Batman would have evicted her from the team. DC has established Batman’s feelings on tampering with a person’s mind.  It would also cause great concern for J’onn J’onzz. Megan’s actions would not only violate J’onn’s personal and cultural ethics on the use of telepathy but it would also reinforce the initial misgivings he had of bringing a White Martian to Earth.

What about the Young Justice members – even the founders? Megan was warned about the misuse of her telepathic abilities in an early season one episode.  Even if the team overlooked Megan’s excessive use of her telepathic powers on villains, an assault on her fellow teammate would surely provoke a response.

Poor Arsenal suffered a PTSD flashback and Dick kicked him off the team.  How does Megan keep escaping from the consequences of her actions?

The Alpha team arrives in Hollywood at a classic film festival.  Megan has shape-changed into a human appearance, Babs is in civilian clothes, and Conner, true to form, is having nothing to do with subterfuge and is rocking the “Superboy” shirt. Gar has turned into a mouse and is hiding in one of Megan’s pockets.

Megan and Gar sneak into a panel that showcases an actress that appeared on the “Hello, Megan” show.

Conner has snuck into the auditorium and encourages Megan to ask a question: “M’gann, you’re the bravest woman I know. Are you really afraid to ask a question?”

Please, Greg Weisman, do not continue this relationship. It’s all I ask.

Megan asks about Marie Logan.  Gar admits Marie was his mother.

Megan thanks Conner for the encouragement: “Happy to help. I mean, ‘cuz…we’re still teammates. Just teammates.”

Babs, the only one actually working on the case, encounters Psimon. The other three Young Justice members are chatting with the actress when Psimon attacks.

Psimon projects the team – minus Babs – into the “Hello, Megan” show.  Starring Miss Martian as Megan.

Gar freaks out: “Oh my god! We’re trapped inside Hello, Megan!”

Conner disagrees: “No. We’re trapped inside M’Gann’s mind.”

Conner and Gar struggle while trapped inside Megan’s mind.

Babs doesn’t believe Psimon has the ability to trap Megan.

Psimon gloats: “All I did was guide her to a pocket of emotional safety hidden deep within her psyche. Now, Little Miss Powerful’s own insecurities keep her trapped there.”

Psimon then attacks Babs.

Gar realizes Megan needs Conner’s forgiveness to break free from the “Hello Megan” fantasy life.

Conner confides to Gar: “She tried to psychically mess with my memories…”

“Oh my god, Conner, that’s horrible!”

“Don’t overreact, when I caught her, she backed off immediately. She had the power to force things. She didn’t.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

Yeah, Conner, do no try to justify abuse!  I’ve known too many abused men and women and heard way too many variations of this type of justification.

Conner continues: “I know. That’s why we broke up. But c’mon, that was months ago. We’ve been through a whole alien invasion since then. She took full responsibility and apologized.”

“And you forgave her?”

“More or less. You know what? Fine. I’ll tell her I forgive her right now.”

“Conner, you don’t have to forgive her. But if you do, you have to mean it or…”

“Or she’ll know I’m faking ‘cuz she’s psychic.”

“She doesn’t have to be psychic. You two were together for five years. Long enough for her to know when you’re sincere.”

“So can you really forgive her or not?”

Megan sings a song lamenting her woes over her former relationship.

Conner confronts Megan: “I need to talk to my best friend. I need to tell her that I don’t know where were going or what’s going to happen but that I forgive her for anything and everything. And no matter where we go or what we do or who were with, I will always love her.”

“Really?”

“Really, that is, if she can forgive me.”

“We got so close on Mars, it scared me, and I pulled away. I’m sorry for that.”

The trio is freed from Megan’s fantasy life. Psimon has escaped.

Megan thanks Conner: “We’d have been stuck in that fantasy forever if not for you.”

“Hey, we’re a team, aren’t we?”

“Always.”

The issue ends with “Never the end”.

First, Conner’s apology/confession/forgiveness made me throw up in my mouth.  

If the genders were reversed, and the abuse was physical and not psychic, no one would support this pairing. See Hank Pym, who slapped Jan in the midst of a psychotic breakdown, and has never been forgiven by the fans or the comic book creators.

Megan attempted to forcibly alter Conner’s mind out of pure self-interest, convenience, and cowardness, and’s it just hand-waved away.

“Bravest woman I know”. Please, Megan has consistently shown an avoidance to truth and accountability for her own actions.

Second, the “that I don’t know where were going or what’s going to happen but that I forgive her for anything and everything. And no matter where we go or what we do or who were with” along with the “never the end” tagline.  Please do not give us another season of “will Conner and Megan get back together or not?” Season two was more than sufficient for that storyline.

I can accept this ending if the “forgiveness” allows for a clean break, settles accounts between the two, and allows Conner and Megan operate as functional teammates with no sniping and longing looks between the two.

If the first two issues are setting up a full reconciliation between the duo, I will not be happy. I might be over sensitive to abuse justifications as I’ve sadly known so many victims of abuse but the Conner-Megan sends the wrong message to abuse victims.

Third, Conner – you’re absolute, for real, soulmate is on your team.  And it’s not Megan. His name is Tim Drake – he’s the slender boy in red. Check it out – expand your horizons.  TimKon for life!

The cartoon debuts tomorrow. It will be interesting to see the time gap between the comic and the cartoon. So excited despite my mixed feelings over the prequel comic.