#sbsdsquad

[soapberrysheriff]

It always embarassed [him] when civilians tried to speak to him in what they thought was ‘policeman’. If it came to that, he hated to think of them as ‘civilians’. What was a policeman, if not a civilian with a uniform and a badge? But they tended to use the word these days as a way of describing people who were not policemen. It was a dangerous habit. Once policemen stopped being civilians, the only other thing they could be was soldiers.

(x)

[soapberrysheriff]

Sheriff Pettaline made a special appearance on local community cable show “Soapberry Boingy Boingy” this morning, talking with host fairy Pillsbury Blossom about the local fauna!

[soapberrysheriff]

springysnaps: herculaneum too

mushmellon:

No better folks to accidentally blip into a cataclysmic Pompeii-style pocket world with than these two lava atronachs! I lucked out big time. Plus they invited me back to their beach bbq after and let me gorge on grilled Spam and halloumi.

48m ago                           36 replies

[soapberrysheriff]

So now you’re in the Sheriff Department!

Here’s a few basic guidelines:

Everything you know about Outworld law enforcement? Forget it! We don’t use the same terminology, classifications, or procedures except in the broadest sense; the Commish thinks bureaucratic formality is a blight on society.

Community focus is everything!! Think of yourselves as a community aid group comprised of appointed citizens, rather than a police ‘force’. We do not use force.

Creativity is one of our watchwords, so use it flagrantly for your job! When you’re filling out reports, you can explain your reasoning there (and trust us, nobody’s ever been reprimanded for creative crime-solving).

It’s a small town, and most of the time your work involves people you know. It’s always okay to help friends and family. 

Remember that self-care is what keeps us all healthy and safe! Don’t work yourselves to the bone. We insist on a good work-life balance, non-negotiable. 

Use the station whenever you need to. It’s open 24/7 and you can bring citizens in for safe-keeping, to use the Exsanguination Station, to feed them, to take statements, whatever’s required for us to help our community.

Get to know the rest of the SBSD! 

Come to the Sheriff with anything. Literally, anything. He’s desperate for company and for people to endure his stories about Apple Fall.

Take-home message? All you need is a true desire to help people and willingness to take on responsibility! Anything else, we can all work out together. That’s what our team at the Sheriff Department’s for.  :)

[soapberrysheriff]

"I know there's a patch full of pumpkins who spout warnings and conspiracy theories," Freddie said, lacing his fingers through Ephram's, "The bloke who sold me the cider was telling me about it - but I'm not sure about the happily supportive sort. I'm not sure if there's much of a market for those kind - I mean, it might be a lot harder to dispose of them in that case..."

Essie shakes her head prodding a fast talking pumpkin with her toe. "No point getting a friendly pumpkin, it's supposed to be spooky. Insults are maybe a little too much but warnings might be fun, maybe we can find one for the department that yells to drive safe, and to not do crime." she then snorts at herself. "I mean more specific crime and not just 'crime' in general."

Ephram guffawed. "I dunno, 'don't do crime' sounds like a pretty dang good soundbite for the Department! Short and snappy." He reached out to pluck at Essie's sleeve. "Come with us and check out the warning punkins! If they got itty bitty ones we can pick up a bunch for everbody's desks."

[soapberrysheriff]

Looking for an exciting new career? Yes, even part-time!!

The SBSD is always searching for go-getters to join our squad -- and you don’t even have to commit to a full-time position. We understand that people have multiple commitments and may not want law enforcement to be their whole life, but still want to be involved in making their community a safer, better place. 

Here’s a couple of the openings we have:

Deputy: the “beat cops” of the squad, deputies can handle a specific territory, or a particular task (public talks, eyewitness statements, requested police presence, etc).

Civilian Clerks: provide relief to the Civilian Administrator, handle dispatch/switchboard, do graphic design and publication.

OSHA: right now the Sheriff is handling Occupational Safety and Health, and boy is he mediocre at it. If you’ve got experience with wellness and ergonomics and anything in that area, please get in touch.

THIS SPACE FREE: the SBSD is a malleable organization and has room in it for created positions. If you have an idea for some niche you could be filling, come on in and brainstorm with Sheriff Pettaline about it!