#says rhe mentally ill man

[jamman42]

Characters/storys I think if they were real they would be a buzzfeed unsolved ep

Steve Rogers

Ok think about Amelia Earhart and how no one has found the plane? Imagine a symbol of power for the US in wwII just disappears one day, some say he crashed into the Arctic, others say he was captured yada yada. Such a case they would cover if cap was found a couple years later than he was. Bucky might also work with this mind set

Crowley and Aziraphale

Video title would prob be ‘ mysterious husbands that have appeared all throughout history’ Crowley has been EVERY WHERE IN HISTORY however he changes his look alot. However Aziraphale hasn’t really hidden himself or changed, ever. So he would be the weird nice man that the entire street thinks has been around since the 1800s and does not like customers at all. Imagine all the pieces and statues that Corey has probably had done of himself throughout history. It just looks like the same dude except one isa picture from the 1900s and the other is a statue from ancient rome. It would be an awesome ep

Hannibal/ The Chesapeake Ripper

Watch the show. No one knows who this killer is?? (Other than us watching the show but even then I can barely tell) Plus the copycat killers. He has a very specific style of killing and is very theatrical but is impossible to find, they would probably say he is a theatre major . All the theories would be very interesting to watch

The Winchester brothers

I have not seen supernatural (I know im uncultured) but my friend loves it and to my understanding, two brothers just go around the country trying to investigate paranormal activity with a man who might be an angel, and ‘fist fighting god’ (what the hell??) according to my sources. Maybe they would just be friends with Shane and Ryan and make a cameo on the show.

Trying to figure out any superhero identity (dc, marvel, ect)

Id imagine all the dumb theories and maybe even trying to get them on the show and investigating them. Spiderman would DEFINITELY get on the show just to fuck with em, especially toms spiderman bc hes a genz icon

The tardis/ the doctor

A box that just appears throughout history, no matter the time period despite being made in the 1950s , people would FREAK OUT. Like Rose Tyler for example she was missing for what a year ? And came back with a strange man out of a police box. A person called the doctor that is worshiped throughout history and sometimes there are photos of the same person in completely different times.

Thats all i could think of at the moment please tell me if you have more <3

[racingmiku2018]

i wish i had a brain that let me focus on anything that wasnt vocaloid, reading about blorbos, or genshin impact. id kill for a brain that could do complex calculations on the spot. or think about fun facts that arent incredibly niche vocaloid or rabbit related

[fagcrisis]

personally i also believe that the issue with psychiatry is an issue with medicine in general. where we have constructed "illness" to be a state of individual deviancy from "health" that can be treated on an individual level. like it's an inherent fault within a person (brain chemistry, physical ailment, whatever) that can be treated by fixing that bit. and beyond that once you level the variation as illness then it immediately becomes something that SHOULD be treated. and then you create a class of people who determine what illness is, diagnose it, and choose how it should be treated (doctors) and another group of people who experience illness but definitionally are not allowed to weigh in on these processes. so like obviously medicine in general fucks patients so hard. and then mental health as a field and particularly psychiatry makes matters even worse by being extremely unscientific and also actively despising a majority of patients. so long story short kill all doctors and also specifically psychiatrists and psychologists and also personality disorders are so not real why would you diagnose someone with bad person disorder how about you instead shove a rifle up your ass and pull the trigger. please. anyway how are you is your day fun so far

no right cos im going to into emergency medicine bc i do genuinely believe its one of the fields that r like, absolutely neccesary for society but its so disheartening to get to know how the healthcare system really treats people. like as a disabled person ive experienced it myself but its a completely different thing to know that your opinion as the patient is completely undervalued and you have zero say in the processes about your own body (btw jskyk doctors ik will make diagnoses just. on instict. my man guessing that life threateninf heart disease!!) anyway rhe way this all functions and individualizes problems and makes them smth that is Inherenr to you and also Your Fault... capitalist realism chapter 4 we rly fucking in it now

[iamsleepingalonetonightagain]

do you know how fucking ugly you make me feel? do you know how dumb. what is wrong wuth you. what is wrooooong wuth you oh ny god i just can’t be around you or i can’t think abiut you anymore without just feeling terrible, you’re just a bad thought to me now, i like don’t even know how many times i’ve sat through your fake apologies and just taken it, god, i wish there was fucking hope for tou, you’re just sad, and i guess it probably feels like really good for you to know that i can’t even be mad at you, like Mad mad, cause i am but i’m just sad, i’m sad abiut it all, and i’m sad that you ruined me, and i wish i coukd say this to your face and see if maybe it would hurt at all to know this, vut you RUINED ME, you are genuinely twrribke and you shluld STOP using people for sex, you’re so awful and you’ve damaged me, i identify on the acearo spectrum bc you make me view sex so much more differently now, like its this lifestyle i should upkeep and mainrain, and force nyself into and accept and always jump into. god. i miss you so kuch. i miss when you slept in ny bed and smoked my weed and kissed my back when i slept. i miss curling up to you and my arm fitting so comfortably around you. getting ur hair stuck in my face but keeping it there vc even tho it tickled it smelled nice. she does not treat me good and i know this. and i know its over. and i know i need to jjsy get a grip and move on. i just get scared. i got really vulnerable and comfortable. it was the most consistent relationship i’ve had (and it wasn’t even that consistent, cause u know mentally ill lesbian fwbs SUCK) but man! she was the first person to like make me feel like my body wasn’t unattractive (which is nice now bc like, ed thoughts shushed down a bit). unfortunately she only acknowledged me for my tits and our first real conversation was sexting (and i hadn’t yet recovered from like. being a hypersexual lid and getting groomed a lot) and like . idk. its been a lot of her coming over and rhen us fucking, and rhne like, she will fucking ignore me for weeks or months, and rhen just randomly fuck me again. and then like, rhe last of what happened was me just basically heing like ‘u need to he clear abt guvking bc i get really anxious’ and she was like okay! and we had a nice cuddling sex time and it was fun and rhen. she jusy stopped. and started doing out of her norm unhealthy sex habits and i was like. why are you fucking these ppl. and she was like oh im not doing good so i have bad sex to feel bad, and ur a good sex person, and i donr wanna like ‘taint’ you, and then it just dawned on me she hust. fucking sucks Lol. Man.I hole one day somebody has a crush on me and like. Likes me. and then my body as a plus

[deneehope]

Greetings

Septemeber 27, 2018

I am just your typical 24 year old girl living in the middle of Orange County, California. Some people could say we are known as the "entitled ones" or "rich snobs". I mean maybe like 90% of them are like that, but then there is the 10% percent where kids are dying of heroin overdoses or people are actually struggling with mental illness and some are just like me, barely making it but sit back with a positive attitude, well sometimes , it gets hard. I feel like there is no such thing as a midlife crisis anymore , or if you want to consider it a midlife crisis but happening, you know, lets say 25 years too early. We all call it a quarter life crisis. Are you going through that? I feel like I have no sense of direction anymore. I work as a fulltime admin assistant making 15.75 an hour and still don't have money to buy groceries. I also babysit to make extra money but that is still not cutting it. I have decided that I am officially going to quit work completely and by the grace of God still have money to pay rent, pay my car payment and pay for medical and car insurance. I guess I will leave that to the man upstairs. I want to go to school fulltime for Civil Engineering. Sounds crazy and expsensive right ? I have this hope that I can push through this. I am so exhausted everyday and it is so hard for me to get up and I dont even know why. I envy the ones who get up early to work out, have a well balanced diet, travel and have this happy life while I am struggling to get through rhe day.Don't get me wrong, I love being alive , I love waking up every morning and thanking God I am here. I want to live and be here, but it is starting to hit me now! Why have this dead boring life when you can learn anything in the world and make a difference, I hope that I have found the motivation, to grow and conquer my own worst enemy: me.

I have a dog and her name is Delilah. She will be 12 in December. I recently got out of an abusive relationship (thats another story for another time) and I got blessed to have her here with me now, she is a english setter/american bulldog mix and she makes everything so much easier for me. I post a picture if you want to see what she looks like. She is my life now and i thrive to see her happy. Little things in life huh? I am not sure what made me starting writing, but maybe it'll help me or make me feel better but whatever the case it feels good right now, so maybe I will keep posting. So I am doing this blog post at work and should really get back.

I pray that I can get through these next couple of months leading up to school. God willing of course. Follow me through the prime time of my life, if you want. See you guys on my next post ! Thanks for reading ❤ .

-DH

[one-shoop]

Stuff I dislike about myself that I try to pin on other people

-being controlling. After roughly 17 and more years of being self-assured and thinking I was always saying the right thing and talking like I knew everything, I now complain about my sister doing "the same thing" (aka knowing what she's talking about when it's a topic she knows of; generally showing self-confidence which is A GOOD THING) and start feeling embarrassed abkut people who look like I do when I pretend I know what I'm talking about. I cringed when I watched this video of Kids React and one of the girls was "snob and self-assured" which irritated me and also made me feel really ashamed, like, "do people really see me like that? Is it that obvious?" Unable to apologize (not actually unable: just unwilling to. "Because I'm ashamed", I justify away the fact that other people feel upset at what I do, and somehow to acknowledge their pain is enough to stop me from that??? It's not fair?????)

-talking about "people joining what's basically a cult" like I'm super knowing on the subject. Being pissed at people doing rhe exact same thing that I did and searching for reasons why "but I wasn't that bad" or reasons why what I think they're doing is somehow not the same thing I was doing last year so I can complain about it. Feeling upset at the fact that I adhered to SJW circles and believing "being the bad guy can't happen to ME" in total denial/horror mode. Like geez no???? Stop??????

-talking about mental illness like I'm the authority.

-making this blog

-complaining about this dude making a video that reminded me of stuff I do, then finding stupid reasons why "I'm not like that"

-complaining about "my sister is so annoying and she thinks she's the best and she's angey and she lets nobody have their own opinion and shes brash and she thinks nobody is right other than her" (which I'M DOING. EVEN RIGHT NOW. IN THIS ESSAY MADE TO STOP ME FROM DOING IT.)

-believing "my sister is controlling" even when literally every single person on earth who knows us would immediately notice I'm the talkative/loud/outgoing/leader/rule-strict one, while she's soft and shy and reserved and stuff. Like literally what????

-realizing I adhere by the rules to feel better about myself and I believe(d) I was arbitrarily better than everyone else because I write better/follow the rules. Last month, I genuinely had a moment where I thought it was a hard fact that I was better and more ethical than like, everyone else, since I respected the rules.

-literally every single delusion I have is a power fantasy

-"oh hahaha no my mother's projecting her issues unto me and not the opposite hahaha anyways did I tell you my sister is controlling?"

-not feeling guilty about some stuff I do then making myself cry to "unblock" my guilt and force myself to feel bad so I still see myself as a good guy

-being angry at "people who can't remember childhood nightmares right and make up their own stuff to fill in the blanks" right as I do the exact same thing with my own childhood fear

-being angry at angry people (me, the angriest person alive. Being angry at angry people. Because "their anger makes them seem less nice to talk with" like geez Projecting 101)

-being angry at people who respect the rules and make their own mental laws on how to be a good person, calling them hypocritical and hurtful and saying they don't care about hurting others when they're disrespecting their rules, but as soon as they get convinced otherwise, they're buddy-buddy.

-"uwu mom makes too many rules and she's better at following the rules than at reacting like a normal human being, can't she just have her own values and emotions rather than making stupid rules all the time" I say as I decide that "I can solve very intricate personality problems by yelling at myself on social media and inventing fake values to explain what's wrong with me"

-"people can't just love each other and do what they like, they have to do what other people tell them" I say while adding "while" and "lol" and "uwu" despite never saying this out loud, ever, just to gain brownie points

-being "unable" to talk about my flaws because "it's too shameful" like ????????????????????? Be a good person???????? Just stop complaining?????? Admit your flaws????

-saying "some people don't care about other people and they just want to feel better about themselves so they can keep doing what they've already been doing" as I do just that.

-literally thinking I was a narcissist a few years back

-the one time I admitted to myself that my sister was the soft and kind one and I was the brash and rude one; and that she should be leader and I should be sidekick; I had a mental breakdown

-like all the songs I used to like were either emo songs or I had crap reasons like "i like he aesthetic of this song" in some weird "this song is a Good Image Song and I should love it to be a better person")

-thinking I'm not someone who'll try and fit in, while trying to fit into my own stupid rules (ironically, I fail at that, too. Like seriously, I hate every single one of my protagonists)

Reasons why I'm this way

(in case God, being in denial over the obvious self-pity thing that this is, decides it was fine to write some "woe is me" here)

-I feel like I'm a burden. Like, I'm not good enough to really be of use. (I used to feel like having a funny sidekick like in movies would just be a burden, since they couldn't do anything and would just slow me down. Like, what the heck, you're 7, you should be finding them funny or smt)

-sometimes, I feel so bad about what I look like that I'd rather be dead (sometimes, imagining myself as one of my lesser-designs protagonists -- read: dressed like me -- makes me feel sick. I feel like their design is so bland and devoid of color, and it makes me feel so bad)

-honestly? I look disgusting, and sometimes, I feel ashamed to think people are seen with me, or touch me. I keep looking at myself in the mirror in hopes of magically finding something better about it. (It doesnt work and I still look like crap)

-the thing I like to write the most is pain. When I was young, I fantasized about being beaten up, and I loved bleeding. It's not a bad thing, I just feel a confidence boost talking about it.

-I dunno man, whatever

Oh wait, the last part is literally me, pinning things I hate onto other things. Wow.