#say what you will about makoa but he's always been the best father since day one. he loves duane with his entire being

[warmsol]

just two sunshine boys

[shes-fast-like-me]

i know how much it matters to you

i know how much it matters to you

AO3 Link

Pairing(s): Established Lifetane, Gibby x his boyfriend

Word Count: 1,791

Warnings: Mentions of childhood neglect and bad parents, discussion of mental illness and trauma, alcohol. (Tell me if you feel anything else should be tagged!)

may was borderline personality disorder awareness month (alongside being adhd awareness and mental health awareness month in general) so i decided to project onto my fave. the symptoms of it aren’t 100% being portrayed here but this is something i feel like a lot of us relate to so?? idk man emotional impermanence be like that

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"Here comes the big man himself!" Elliott called, twisting around in his seat to wave Makoa over to sit with them in the living space.

"Show us the ring!" Ajay beamed as the tall man made his way over to the other Legends gathered around their small makeshift coffee table. He held out his hand, a rather dainty bejeweled silver ring on his ring finger. Everyone cooed over it.

"You're so lucky, man," Elliott said, handing Makoa a beer as he sat down on the couch next to him, "congrats."

"Aye, thanks bruddahs," Makoa grinned from ear to ear. The man was always bright and full of smiles but Octavio swore he has never seen him this happy. He was almost radiant.

"When's the weddin'?" Ajay asked, sitting back against Octavio's side and sipping on her mocktail. She always hated alcohol so the drink was as fruity and non-alcoholic as Elliott could possibly mix up.

"Spring of next year," Makoa said, "We want some time on our honeymoon before the next season, so,"

Everyone nodded in agreement. The season breaks between spring and summer were a little longer than the autumn to winter breaks and since Makoa was proposed to this spring it gave them extra time to plan everything. Makoa and his fiancé had relatives all over the Frontier and would probably want to plan the wedding at a time when the most family members could attend. And the other Legends, of course.

"So," Octavio set his empty cocktail glass down and picked up a can of beer off the table. He could get a little drunk, it was only their first night back onto the dropship, the new season kicking off in two days. "Any idea for wedding gifts?"

He was loaded. He could afford pretty much anything they wanted.

"Ah, no, it's no problem, bruddah-"

"No, no, I insist," He decided to pour the beer into his empty glass anyway, not wanting to waste the ice cubes still sitting at the bottom, "anything you like, I got it."

Makoa laughed. "Just you showing up is enough for me."

"Alright," Octavio sat down into the headrest but still decided he was going to buy Makoa and his fiancé something anyway. After all, that's what you do at weddings, right? Octavio has been to many weddings before, many of them being his own father's, and the couple was always gifted a fancy car or yacht or something of the sort.

He mostly just tuned out the rest of the conversation. Talk of weddings always reminded him of his dad and how weddings were a near weekly occurance for him. He wanted to go for Makoa's sake, of course, and he would force himself to even if Ajay told him it was okay to stay home if it got too overwhelming. He'd just get blackout drunk at the party and probably just dissociate the whole evening, but he was willing to do that for his friend.

Later that evening, Octavio lay on Ajay's bed as they watched anime together on the small holo-TV provided in their temporary rooms. Octavio buried his face into Ajay's pink hair as they spooned, his arm around her waist. He would've fallen asleep if his anxiety wasn't keeping him up. If he had his legs on right now they'd be tapping away furiously, probably disturbing Ajay from watching the show altogether. Octavio kinda missed tapping his feet, he couldn't sleep without moving them and now that he didn't have them he'd imagine the sensation, like a ghost, and get sad whenever he realized it wasn't real. But that's such a small thing to get upset about.

His fingers grazed against the skin showing between Ajay's t-shirt and her sweatpants, tapping on the waistband as he worked up the courage to ask a question that has been itching at his brain all evening.

"Baby?" he said, uncertain of how to begin. She looked at him over her shoulder. "Have you ever thought.... about marriage?"

Instantly he cringed at the phrasing and tried to fix it. "I mean, not to me, necessarily. I'm just wondering- If you ever want to get married?"

She looked back towards the TV with a smile. "Depends who's askin'," she replied simply, "not at the moment though, I'm too busy. But it would be nice in the future."

Octavio bit his lip and really had the urge to tap his missing feet. The fear ached in his chest and he could feel his hands sweating. "I don't think I wanna get married," he said it quickly, almost afraid to hear her reaction. Verbally retracting as if he expected her to hit him or something. Why was that his instinctual reaction? No one ever hit him for speaking out.

She looked down at his hand and lightly brushed her fingers over his knuckles. "That's fine," she said but he couldn't pick up the tone. It made it feel worse. Was she upset? Was she hoping for a different answer?

"It's not," it took all his strength not to let his voice crack, assuming that she wasn’t satisfied with his answer. She turned to look at him properly. He tried to blink away the tears starting to form in his eyes.

"Babe, it's all fine. We don't have to get married. You don't have to get married, ever, if that's what makes you comfortable."

"But I want to," he said, voice trembling. "I want to make you happy if that’s what you want."

"I don't need marriage to be happy in life." She held his hand comfortingly and traced circles into it. "Besides, who says I'm gon' marry you?" She joked and he loved the way her nose scrunched up when she smiled at him. It lifted some of the weight off his chest and he smiled at the joke despite the tears.

"Okay," he swallowed and wiped the tears from his eyes, his fingers shaking.

"It's alright," she pushed the hair out of his eyes. He admired all the freckles dotting her skin. If Ajay let him stare at her for a while he could count them and maybe calm down a little bit, but that'd be weird of him to ask.

He let out a breath, "it's just," the tears were back but the tension of holding them in and bottling everything up was gone, "I don't want to be like my father."

"You're not." She whispered and studied his face as he continued.

"I don't wanna have kids and have them go through the same shit I did." Tears spilled from his eyes and down the sides of his cheeks. It hurt to think about treating his kids the way he was treated. He didn't even think his childhood had affected him that much until now. But it did, it hurt, it hurt to be ignored your whole life and live with no constants. He was constantly scared of everyone abandoning him, of things being taken away from him. Everything was so temporary to him, even Ajay. What if they got married and one day she decided she didn't love him anymore? How would he even handle something like that? He'd be crushed.

"You're not ya father," Ajay said calmly, bringing his hand up to her lips and kissing his knuckles, "and I've seen ya with my li'l cousins. You'd be a great dad. You said yaself you'd never want to hurt them the way your dad did, so you won't. Not intentionally."

"Do you think my father intended to hurt me?" He asked, his tone a little more passionate than he had intended it to be. "Obviously it was out of his control how I would react to-"

"Tavi, he did awful things to ya. You're allowed to be upset about it."

"But if I don't make excuses for him, how can I excuse my own shitty actions?" He covered his face and dug his palms into his eye sockets, blocking her out from his blurry view. "I'm even worse." His voice broke.

"You're not. You're ill. Ya just need some time and help to get things right. You're taking those steps. Your father never even considered that. That's what makes ya better than him."

It's true, he did have a therapist now, trying to help him manage the many disorders and issues he got stuck with. And he was trying so hard to be better, but it all felt so useless sometimes when he kept acting like this, being like this. Whenever he relapsed, whenever he split on someone, whenever he acted out or isolated or dissociated or cried. He always felt like he was taking steps backwards, not forwards.

"Listen, I know recovery's not easy for ya," she tapped her fingers on his chest and he moved his hands from his face to look at her as she spoke. "But you're pushin’ through it regardless. And I'm gon' be here for ya all the way through it, ya hear me? I'm not goin’ anywhere."

"Everyone says that." He sniffled.

"Yeah, well, I mean it," she said, "and I'll promise this to ya, that I won't leave ya alone no matter how hard it gets." She looked directly into his eyes, her soft voice calming his thoughts.

"Here," she said and took a beaded bracelet off her wrist. It was one of those kandi bracelets she sometimes wore, this one pink and purple with the word "LOVE" spelled out on it. "It's a promise." She held it out to him.

He looked at her hand, puzzled.

"It's like a promise ring. It should make ya feel better to have a physical representation of my promise to ya. I read that it helps with BPD to-"

He sat up and hugged her. "Thank you," he murmured into her shoulder. She pat his back and when they released each other he took the bracelet and put it on his wrist. "Thank you, " he breathed out again.

"Ya welcome." She smiled softly and honestly, her smile momentarily lit up the room. He was so lucky to have her.

"Now, can we finish the show? This next episode's the best one." She gestured with the remote to the paused screen. He hadn't even noticed when she paused it to speak to him. He smiled and nodded, laying back down on his side, her snuggling into him as she pressed 'play'.

"I'm sorry if I ruined the evening." He apologized.

"Ya didn't. I still love ya." She said and took his hand in hers, their fingers intertwined.

And after watching that magical girl show and breathing in her flowery perfume, Octavio finally found himself able to peacefully drift off to sleep for the night.

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[the-sweetest-dragon]

Character Sheet

This is a character that is old but has been reworked.  She’s close to my heart and I know the fandom doesn’t really like original character stories, but I’ve decided I don’t care.  I want to tell this story so I will.

A huge thank you to @incorrectbatfamiliaquotes for helping flesh out a good portion of my characters.  I think you may have fixed my writers block again because I’m really hyped to start this story over.  So, hope you enjoy what I’ve added and changed about my darling Kaia.

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Full Name: Kaia Elaine Hale

Meaning of Name: Hawaiian for the sea

Ethnicity: Hawaiian

Birthday: August 13, 1994

Age: 25

Zodiac Sign:  Leo

Basic Personality:  Intellectual, hates mess, wants to be a lawyer, is an awful driver, has anxiety, can’t wait to graduate law school so her real life can begin.  Spent a good portion of her teenage years mute because it was easier to not speak at all than to get beat for saying something wrong.  Hates her family and left when she was eighteen, refuses to speak to them.  

Deeper Personality: Anxiety:  After years of abuse, she has anxiety attacks when people raise their voice. She Is very good at compartmentalizing her childhood trauma and hates talking about herself.  Has refused to go to therapy several times but takes medication that helps keep her calm.    

Inflexible:  Kaia is set in her ways and will not budge for anyone or anything.  Once you’re in her life, there are very few ways to get out of it.  

Lawyer aspiration: Her father isn’t a good man, what so ever.  Kaia knows he does illegal things on the side and is slowly gathering evidence for a case that will finally put him in jail where he belongs.  

Best Friends: Timothy Drake and Mirabella Kostas.  

Mirabella is the daughter of Kaia’s mother’s friend and they had a weird relationship until Kaia turned seventeen.  Mirabella was the only person who bothered to learn ASL to speak to Kaia (her first sign to her was at a dinner party, asking for more cake) and their friendship blossomed after that.

Tim’s father and Kaia’s father were trying to marry them off because neither were wanted and it would get them out of their parents' hair.  Kaia hated that their fathers pushed it so much, especially since Tim was already in love with Stephanie Brown.  They eventually became good friends after Kaia left her family and moved to Gotham.  

Family:  Makoa and Alani (father and mother), and her two sisters Lani and Nalani.  Makoa made his money selling diamonds and other precious gems, as well as illegal mutant power enhancement drugs.  Alani was the daughter of a wealthy businessman who basically sold her to Makoa to get himself out of debt. Lani and Nalani are older than Kaia by three years (twins).  Kaia is hated throughout her entire family because she is not a boy and therefore will not inherit her father’s company.  The company will go to her nephew, Alexander, when he comes of age.  Her sisters are bitches and got married as soon as they could and started popping out children like freaking rabbits.  Her father didn’t know what to do with Kaia, so he threw her into as many extracurriculars as he could.  He would also beat her for speaking out of turn or incorrectly, causing Kaia to be mute for many years.  

Love Life:  refuses to date, identifies as bisexual, and used to have a small crush on Mirabella.  

Political Viewpoint: very liberal, believes that what she does with her body is no ones business but her own, wants to advocate for better treatment for indigenous people of both her home and continental United States.

Favorite Color: pale blue, like the sky on a clear day.  

Basic Description:  Kaia is a very intimidating woman.  She’s incredibly tall and muscular from years of training.  Her mass of dark curls are usually held in a tight bun or styled to perfection, will rarely see her not looking well put together.  Kaia has deeply tanned skin all year ‘round and gorgeous dark eyes that are framed by long, dark lashes.  She has several scars from her childhood abuse, including a large burn scar on her hand when her father forced her to touch a hot oven.  Kaia has a single tattoo that Mirabella talked her into when she turned nineteen; the tattoo is of a small sea turtle that’s balanced on her hip bone in black and white.  She wears neutral colors most of the time and keeps her makeup minimal.  

Favorite song: drugs by EDEN

Favorite Outfit: a soft blue sweater that Mirabella made for her paired with khakis and heeled boots, has a fairly preppy dress sense.  

Hobbies: reading, working out, cleaning, playing the piano, studying

Fatal Flaw: Doesn’t trust anyone until she knows them completely.  Growing up in an abusive home gave her severe trust issues, so she’s always on edge when meeting new people.  It’s something she’s trying really hard to overcome, but things aren’t always as easy as they seem. 

Short Term Goals: Pass her bar exams and become a lawyer 

Long Term Goals: Bring down her father’s drug ring legally, work on herself so she can feel like a person again.  Finally be able to attend therapy regularly.  

Pets: two dogs, Juniper and Pua

Juniper: a Golden Retriever and German Shepard mix with big brown eyes.  She was a birthday gift from Tim and Stephanie for Kaia’s twenty-first birthday.  Juniper still acts like a puppy; she’s very energetic and loves to play with any and everyone.  Gets along really well with Pua, and will often be spotted cuddling with him in the same bed.  

Pua: a pitbull mutt that Kaia found abandoned by the road when she first moved to Gotham.  Pua has heterochromia, with one blue eye and one brown eye.  He’s stocky and athletic, with a mostly brown coat.  A little skittish around new people but otherwise a very loving dog.  He loves to cuddle and run with Kaia.  

Habits: Kaia pulls on her hair quite often when she feels nervous.  It’s something that her father and her trainers could never stop her from doing.  

Fears: Kaia has a fear of being abandoned.  She doesn’t like being alone, which is why she keeps the dogs close to her at all times.  Kaia is scared of closed places and spiders.  She likes to pretend that those things don’t scare her, but they do.

Favorite Movie: She’s All That because it’s escapism in its best form and Freddie Prince Jr. is a real snack.  

Life Motto: Only look back to see how far you’ve come.  

Prized Possession: A pair of pearl earrings that Tim gave her on her sixteenth birthday.  She had found the pearls on the beach one day when they were forced to hang out and he had them made especially for her.  Kaia never leaves the house without them.  

Religion: Kaia is agnostic but occasionally goes to church with Mirabella.  

Favorite Food: Pulled pork tacos with pineapple slaw.

Favorite Snack: Kaia is a sucker for Milk Duds and will eat them until her stomach aches.  

Role Model: Patsy T. Mink, the first woman of color and Asian American to be elected into Congress.  Authored Title IX, which banned gender discrimination in education programs as well as convinced two-thirds of the Democratic party to continue supporting the Civil Rights movement.