#savictim

[heretherebewolves]

You know, most days we don't care about revenge. Nothing will change what happened to us, and we value forgiveness.

But some days?

Some days we want to blast your name across every single social media page and goddamn BUILDING you, or anyone who knows you, might ever interact with. We want to message your mum, again, to warn her once more, even though she didn't listen last time. We want to tell your girlfriend, because we're terrified for her.

But mostly, we want to watch your entire world fucking burn, and laugh in the ashes. Because our world is burning every goddamn day while you're living your lifelong dream, and that... That is not fucking fair.

[nmotypdfsfg]

[strivingforeunoia]

Along with my clothing, the world's beauty was stripped from me.

[ultamitefrog]

TRIGGER WARNING : SA

Hey do any other sa victims ever feel like really exposed even tho they’re wearing like 3 layers and in a safe environment?

[heretherebewolves]

So we're catching up on Hollyoaks from like, eighteen months ago, with the Misbah-Ali storyline.

The officer, when interrogating Ali, asked - "Misbah has alleged that you raped her. What do you think of that?"

Her face was impassive as she asked, but you can tell that she believes women. That, regardless of her professional intergrity and due dilligence, she cares about the victim.

And all we can think of... All we can remember was our PC when we reported our ex.

We didn't feel like she cared. We didn't feel like she stood with the victims of sexual violence.

Do you want to know what she said to us, after interviewing - not even interrogating, mind you, it was an informal interview - the piece of shit who systematically raped us for most of a six year relationship?

"He seemed really upset by your allegations."

Did he now?

He didn't seem upset when I lay beside him in tears, feeling my soul had been ripped out, the first time it happened.

He didn't seem upset when I lay lifelessly as he took what he wanted, the eighth time it happened.

He didn't seem upset when I screamed and tried to push him off, the twenty-third time it happened.

He didn't seem upset every fucking time I used my voice to say 'no'. To say 'stop'. To say 'please don't'.

He wasn't upset by my 'allegations'. He was scared because someone might finally listen to me.

But, as much as he made me love him before he destroyed me, he played her, too.

I don't blame her for being taken in by him. He can fake emotion with the best of him. I blame him for not holding himself accountable for his actions. I blame him for knowing, for admitting, that he hurt me, but '[doesn't] have the emotions to care about what [he] did', and for using that to get what he wanted.

I blame him for raping me. For breaking me. For tearing my goddamn heart out and filling me with self-hatred and distrust.

But the way we speak to victims of violence, especially rape, needs to change. I was made to feel guilty for making a statement, like my justice was not as important as him feeling slighted, and that is not ok. We need to do better.

[heretherebewolves]

"You sleep so easily! Why do you need sedatives?!"

Gather round folks, it's story time.

After a very long day Satuday, we're still recovering. So for the last two nights, we've skipped the meds, thinking we were that exhausted it wouldn't matter.

Night 1? No problems. Out like a light, from pure exhaustion and residual medication.

Night 2?

Dropped off easily enough - that's never been our issue. We settled down at about 2am.

It is now 5.30am, and I have woken into a panic attack - more than once, actually. I've lost count.

So after a grand total of *maybe* two hours sleep, we're giving up.

Tldr; if you are ever capable, take your meds, even if you can't be bothered or think it'll be fine. Or it might be the early hours of the morning and you'll be regretting your life choices.

[strivingforeunoia]

I remember the glint of his nostril piercing blinding me momentarily as he took a seat in front of me, crossing his legs and hunching over to minimize the difference in height. “Do you want to play truth or dare?” He asked while wrapping a blade of fresh grass around his forefinger.