#save me homophobic dog barry homophobic dog barry save me

[emeraldwarriors]

releases these into the wild like freeing caged birds

[ohhicas]

Do YOU have any James theories? I'm really hoping they will explain this somehow but... eek

YEAH I GOT SOME THEORIES and I’m in a mood so I’m sorry if anything comes off as needlessly rude

1) Despite homeboy sayin he loved the Neron-arc and age for James stories, he doesn’t actually know what that is for the character. Whether that means he just doesn’t remember the arcs properly and didn’t bother backreading to reconfirm what he thought he knew or did know, or whether that means he does remember but he thinks tricksyboy = edgy = loki = didn’t he shoot that dude in that one movie does nobody remember that this means his character trope would absolutely stab a man or who the hell knows. Neron has been name dropped essentially as a thing that Already Happened. That means the Rogues have apparently died before, and James saved them all if we’re going off the first Neron fight. That means a lot of things in previous/current DC reboot canon is kind of one long drawn out “hhhhh??” sound if this is now canon as a thing that happened. I don’t read any other books– honestly I don’t read any books atm. I dunno if this can work in, or if “I loved this arc!” happypants over here was like GONNA DROP MY FAVORITE OLD CANON 8) CANT STOP ME DC, TEEHEE. 

2) It’s a chance it’s still Neron influenced, thanks to that ‘hey this happened in my story arc’ thing. It’d… make zero sense, like how did Neron get hold of James a second time? We’re to assume Billy doesn’t exist in this universe so his safety net is gone, sure, but that means James would’ve had to have died in between here and there, since reformation was his way of staying alive/staying out of Neron’s clutches. But according to everything we’ve been given up to this point (and again I don’t read the books technically, so I could be missing stuff) he didn’t die, he was assumed dead/MIA thanks to being stuffed in prison and escaping. Do we assume he died… escaping? If Neron got his hands on him? 

3) Commander Cold knew of this situation enough to panic on it, but said nothing to help anyone prepare for it. Just “oop watch out, we gonna have a hell of an unsatisfactory situation!!” I feel like that alone cuts out it being any of his old team unless they pull a fast one and some real shit happened in the 25th century while he was gone and its’ a timefuckery story akin to some bullshit someone on the “hey where can we put Booster besides his own book where we maybe dont’ make him watch Ted die for like 3 issues?? maybe??’ team would pull. I mean, DC has done Some Shit, this isnt’ beyond them. But holy shit they need to quit their jobs and take up Wattpad if that’s the best they can come up with. 

4) This numbering system doesn’t make sense to your original question anymore. 

5) [EDIT] fuck I forgot my idea that they are just following where the money is, who cares what old fans want. CW is popular, so they’ll get CW, even if James is the correct age here

MY THEORY: 

It’s just Bad Writing, Tim. 

Even if they try to turn this around as haha!! just a joke!! he’s just possessed!!!! there are still so many things here played up for shock value and horror, trying to make him hip and trendy for the new market. I wanna know what board meeting they went to where someone went “ok, we’re gonna bring the Trickster back– but comic Trickster.”“Ok so like, the toy one? With the punch glove in his gut and the striped pajamas and the son with the direct link to heaven?”“Yeah, but also lets kinda reference the Rogue War stuff.”“You mean the area where he was on the good side and they stole Digger’s body and he kind of apologized but then didn’t because Digger was a homophobe and he felt absolutely Not Sorry?”“No the part where he–”“Where he just kind of punched a kid and stole his shoes after throwing him in a trash can and absolutely didn’t murder him?”“Yeah that one”“There’s a but in there.”“But he either maims or makes people THINK they’ve been maimed now.” 

The outfit’s cute, sure. The backstory is… close enough to canon I can overlook the parts they changed for the shit of it. I can get over their lack of wanting to diversify more by making him not-Italian again, even though that was an addition crammed in there around the point they’re apparently wanting to reference from the old books. but hhhhhhhhhhh what is this haha who the hell yall writing for?? Because it sure isn’t 50% of your audience 

MY CRACKPOT THEORIES: 

because why the shit not, right? It’s not like anything I make up will be any worse than what DC gives us

1) It’s all an illusion. All of it. James? Illusion. Barry’s legs? Illusion. James is really just one of those puppets he built way back in Silver Age that were made of straw and didn’t move around, but he’s using whatever bullshit magic mind power DC made up for this series to make people think it’s really him. 

2) Evan’s here and he’s pissed off for some reason, pretending to be James hey why the fuck not at this point He took like 2 months of accent training to lose the Scottish. 

3) It is Neron. But not like, ‘It’s neron possessing James’ it’s just straight up Neron. He knows all of his backstory enough to rant exposition in way too many pages and hey, he was kind of green in that one cover art we saw. 

4) It’s Billy. I don’t know how this’ll work but fuck, if you can make James into this why not make Billy into it?? Except it’s a time traveling Billy and he’s super pissed off, and also not chinese-italian anymore. IDK, dad’s dead and he wants revenge. Weirder things have happened. 

5) 3 very bad dogs wearing striped pajamas and cowboy boots