jinsoul-zz

[vampien]

also thinking about satine's love for c.laudia and how interesting that would be to explore in c.laudia's relation to l.ouis and l.estat

[outhereontheprairie]

Sheyenne River Academy Campus, North Dakota 1

Those of you who know me, know that ever since I could talk I would point to places and ask, “Who lives there?” As I got older I zeroed in on abandoned houses and then abandoned places in general. There’s a pull about them. They call to me. But no matter how many abandoned places I explored, no matter how cool or historical, there was always my white whale in the back of my mind. Sheyenne River Academy. I asked dad for years and years to take me there. I could photograph and explore all the abandoned places in the world, but if I didn’t see SRA, what was the point?

You see, SRA is where my parents met. Several of my grandparents went there, too. In fact, most of my family members attended SRA before it closed in the late 1970s. There is such history about this place. And yet I only saw it briefly on an old video or two. One taken in the 50s, one in the 90s after it had been abandoned. 

My parents were the second-to-last graduating class of SRA: 1976. After the class of 1977, everyone went on to the place where I attended high school: DAA. SRA was near Harvey out in the country. DAA was near Bismarck out in the country. SRA was a classic brick and mortar campus with many buildings. DAA was all in one - a strange building, shaped like a spider. Some say that the goodness left the school after SRA closed, and with DAA it was never the same. All of this has culminated in creating a place that I have been obsessed with visiting, no matter the state it is in. 

Especially since my mom passed away in 2012, I wanted to visit. I wanted to see where she “endured” high school, where she and my dad met. And although the tour wasn’t as thorough as I would have liked (SRA continues to be a bit of my “white whale”) I had a blast exploring this place and hearing dad’s stories. 

I’ll do my best to recreate our time there for you. I’m not a great photographer, not a perfect writer, and don’t have a super clear memory about all I learned that day. But here is my level best to share Sheyenne River Academy with you all.

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Would you like a full, immersive experience of our visit to SRA? Let the music take you back while you scroll along!

Click here for the secular playlist for 1970s SRA.

And click here for the special SDA playlist!

Let’s go! 

When we first arrived at SRA, it was shrouded by trees. Taunting me. I was close. So close. But not there yet. Dad ran around (literally) trying to find the person who owns it now to get permission for us to walk around. After quite awhile he got it. We were in. 

While dad ran around, I prowled the perimeter taking photos from a distance. 

I couldn’t miss the overgrown driveway, nor the brick columns. So fancy. So formal. So overgrown and mysterious. 

We couldn’t have picked a more beautiful day. A perfect fall day. However the light was very harsh, which didn’t help my photos. 

Here’s a photo from the old 1976 SRA yearbook taken around this same area. Dad thinks these two guys did a week of prayer that school year.

When we first arrived, I noticed there was a sign . . .

. . .and a curious cow. 

There were also many houses surrounding the campus. If you didn't know what this place was, you’d probably be confused. The houses you see were where the teachers and staff lived.

The sign once said Sheyenne River, but now had a pretty painting with the words, “Villa Bonacci Peaceful Valley” on it. I did hear that after the school closed, someone tried to reopen it as a health retreat of some sort. 

Finally it was time! We parked at a house that used to belong to the principal and walked down the road to SRA. 

Sheyenne River Academy first opened in approximately 1904 (so says my dad). Being open over 70 years doesn’t feel long enough for this beautiful old campus. 

I couldn’t wait to hear dad’s memories - he was the best tour guide, as I knew he would be. Dad is very unsentimental on the whole, so instead of being upset at the state of his alma mater, he was simply curious and recalled all sorts of stories and facts about the place. 

We first arrived at the boys’ dorm. The building to the left was the Ad Building, and we will get to that later. 

Immediately dad pointed out the window to his old dorm room from his senior year - it has an auger sticking out of it. 

Since his room was right at the end on the ground floor - could we see it? 

Yes, we could! 

Here is is! Dad’s dorm room. He said it was old even when he lived there - the pipe was still sticking out of the ceiling then, too. Although it was considerably less...cluttered. However, one of dad's friends apparently says it looks much neater now than when he lived there. Ha! 

Look past the clutter and picture it has it would have been. And enjoy this story dad shared with me that deeply impressed me. 

I asked dad if they were allowed to have music in their dorm rooms (that policy was fairly lax by the time I got to DAA and dad of course had me set up with a great stereo my years in the dorm) because I figured if anyone would have had a stereo in their dorm room it would have been my dad. He said radios were in fact not allowed until his senior year. So they rigged up a system. Because when you live at your school, you have to find a way around the arbitrary rules! (Believe me, I know!) 

Dad says that many guys, himself included (of course - I’m guessing he was a pioneer of this system*), had their rooms “wired”. I was picturing a Ferris Beuller situation as he said this and, it turns out, I wasn’t far off. 

These guys used wires and switches to set up their radio so that if someone (the dean) came in while you had your music on, it would shut off when the door opened. Dad also had a switch wired in the dresser drawer so you could subtly turn the music on/off as well. 

I have to say I’m proud to be related to one of the people who did this. So innovative! It made my dorm shenanigans look pathetic in comparison! 

* Update from dad: Clandestine sound wiring (with door switches and drawer switch cutoffs) was around for years before I got to SRA, so definitely not my invention.  I just followed how the pioneers did it!

And here is the hallway. More junk. 

The dorm room across from my dad’s room - he said to belonged to his lifelong friend, Lynn. 

Lynn, your room needs cleaning. It’s full of old foam insulation.

Back out we went. Lots more to see! 

Here is the back of the boy’s dorm. The original structure was built sometime in the late 1920s. 

You can see the added-on shower wing. It was built in the early 1960s.

Here you can tell the difference in brick - the original structure vs the add on. 

The original portion is quite old - my grandparents would have been familiar with it. 

Below: a page from the 1976 SRA yearbook, a bunch of cool guys rock out by the boys’ dorm in the spot pictured above.

Dad noted that this picture had the negative reversed when it was put in the annual.

Cars littered the property. The owner uses it as a wrecking yard now. Not for the first time did I find myself thinking, “What a waste.”

This building looked quite old, so it caught my eye. 

Dad said it was just a maintenance/storage building. 

Looking back at the boys’ dorm. 

Here we have the cafeteria and gym! Look closely - someone ran dirt (which eventually grew grass) up the steps so it would be a ramp instead of stairs. 

We headed around the side. 

This may be storage now, but back in the day it was the cafeteria! 

I was shocked. At DAA, where I attended, the cafe was the most beautiful part of the school, overlooking the Missouri River valley. One of my favorite things was seeing the mist rise off the river on a chilly fall morning. SRA’s cafeteria is so...well it’s a basement! This is where the students would eat chili and cinnamon rolls on Friday evenings (a tradition carried on at DAA). Where people agonized over who to sit beside. I just had trouble picturing it, even though I was right there. 

I remember mom telling me that at the entrance to the cafe there was a ledge where a boy would sit and when she and her friends would pass through he would swing down and scare them.  

A photo from the 1976 SRA yearbook below, taken in the same spot. 

Below: a photo from the 1975 SRA yearbook.

Dad pointed out that to the back on the right was where they served the food. I wanted to go back but dad said no. 

Fun facts: dad’s favorite breakfast was Friday morning coffee cake. My mom got the recipe and made it for us more than once when we were growing up. I still have it somewhere. One of dad’s favorite meals was Friday evening, which I mentioned above, chili or fruit soup and cinnamon rolls. I didn’t mind that particular meal when I attended DAA, but got sick of it after awhile. Dad’s only real negative comment about the cafe (when I asked him) was that sometimes, as a growing teenage boy, it felt like you didn't get enough food. However, on the whole it was good, he said. 

Below: a photo taken in roughly the same location, from the SRA 1976 yearbook. That’s my mom with the long blonde hair, somewhat facing the camera on the left.

I heard from my mom that the food in this cafe was good, and she even had some hand written recipes she got from the cooks here! I believe one of them is for “melting moments” cookies. I have that recipe card, and made those cookies with her as a child. SRA students - what food did you enjoy eating here? And what made you cringe? 

I looked down at the muddy floor. How many bell bottom jeans brushed across that floor in the last days of SRA? 

Below: photos from the 1976 SRA yearbook - a banquet! 

This banquet - “Nights in Satin” according to the yearbook. Most of our banquets at DAA were just as cheesy.

Note from dad: It was "Nights in White Satin", a popular song of the day by the Moody Blues. I think they made the student banquet organizers change it to "Knights in White Satin" to remove any suggestive/amorous connotations. Of course, this spelling made no sense, but I think Kathy Diede, class artist, drew up a picture of a knight along with the chosen theme to hang on the cafeteria wall to decorate for the event.

We walked around the back of the cafe/gym. 

Dad told us the tale of how part of this building exploded. Yes, exploded. In 1973. He didn’t recall from exactly what, but possible natural gas build up he speculated. 

They rebuilt it with food delivery in mind - there you can see my husband peering into the window where there was a “slide” for the food boxes to go down. 

Looking down the ramp of the food delivery system. 

I really wanted to see inside the gym portion of the building. But this is as close as I got. 

You can tell it was massive and had a beautiful wooden floor (now buckled from water damage - see the ceiling?) and I sure wish I could have gotten closer. 

Goodbye cafe and gym! 

If any SRA alumni have tales to tell about this building, please comment! 

Here is a photo from the 1975 SRA yearbook of the same building.

Of course I had to ask dad about this odd building with a big chimney. And he was very familiar with it because this building was related to one of his jobs he had while he attended school here! 

You see, everyone who goes to SRA or DAA had/has a job. As a freshman at DAA I worked in the cafe, and after that for the development office, and senior year I had a job in town. 

Here is a quick view from the side of this building - SRA has quite a beautiful location! 

Anyway, up top here was a garage type setup with a carwash in one area, says dad. 

It looked like there was a fire in this building after it was no longer SRA. 

Here is the road that goes down to the lower part of the building. 

As you can see, it is two stories. Dad’s job was on the lower level. 

For his junior year, dad worked hauling coal from Harvey to the coal fired boiler that heated the school. There was a tunnel network that led from this building to each major building on campus, quite the setup) It was hard work, but kind of a coveted job because you only worked one day a week! Sundays. 

However, dad said went on to other work his senior year because they changed the pay for the job and it became less desirable. 

The boiler house structure was where the "firemen" worked, one guy on duty to make sure the boiler was correctly operating, usually around the clock, particularly in winter. 

Flashback time! Here is a photo from the SRA 1976 yearbook featuring Ted (on the right), one of my dad’s lifelong friends, who took over the job after dad left it.

There were desirable jobs when I was at academy too. Some things never change. I didn’t always have a desirable job at academy - I would say working for development was as good as it got. Working in the cafe was a freshman job because it was not cool. But my freshman buddies and I made it fun by singing our hearts out while washing dishes! Anyway, what were the most desirable jobs? Maintenance (you had the run of the school in some aspects), working as a reader for certain teachers was cool, and being an RA was usually desirable. I’m sure there are others, but I just don’t remember them. 

We moved away from one back edge of the campus and on to the other.

Here is the back of the Ad building. We’re coming to that soon.

When we reached this garage, dad had another interesting tidbit for us. 

This was where some staff kept their cars. Somehow, my dad was allowed to bring his dad’s snowmobile (!) to school one winter, and the dean allowed him to store in his stall!

Ok. This somewhat blew my mind. 

First of all. A personal snowmobile. What!? 

Second - he got to keep it in a staff garage!? At DAA we certainly wouldn’t have been allowed to mix our things with those of the faculty.

Third - dad had access to this snowmobile, and got to ride it in the winter, and  remembers taking it out and getting it up to a high speed on the road outside of campus.

I suppose, approaching this with a 2019 mindset instead of a 1970s one, this just sounds crazy. The liability alone for a student having their own snowmobile is insane to me. 

We walked over to the farm area of SRA. Yes, SRA had its own farm! 

Note the giant barn and silo. A few students worked there! I think that job was less desirable than dad’s once a week coal hauling job. 

Here’s a photo taken in the same area from the 1976 SRA yearbook. You can see the south end of the barn on the left.

Looking toward the girl’s dorm. 

Here is some staff housing, dad didn't remember any specifics about who lived here.

Here is our tour guide himself. 

Looking back at the Ad Building from the back corner of campus.

A closer view.

We headed down the road to a building I very much wanted to see - the Girls’ Dorm. It looked shabbier than the boys’ dorm, and was in terrible shape. I so badly wanted to see the rooms where my mom lived during her time here. 

As you can see, it’s terribly overgrown.

My mom had various room mates over the years. One of them was my dad’s sister (her future sister in law!) and another was her lifelong friend Karlene. They had such fun stories of their time in the dorm! 

Mom actually was a very quiet, shy, homebody. So living in the dorm was very hard for her. She wanted to go home quite a lot. 

I saw something in the distance.

Can you spot it? 

The flag pole, still standing strong. A remnant of when this was a pretty and organized campus. 

Dad said it was his friend Lynn’s job to raise, lower and fold the flag each day. 

Here is the ad building again. From a distance it looks ok. 

We’ll get there soon enough! 

We headed toward the girls’ dorm.

You can hardly see it now, it’s so overgrown. It looks like it doesn’t have the same nice additions as the boys’ dorm. I don’t understand that. 

We had to push through a lot of overgrowth to get inside. The doors were just hanging open. 

The glass was out of one door anyway. Why bother closing it?

Immediately the smell of decay hit me. It was bad. My husband ran out practically gagging from the mold smell. Dad immediately wrinkled up his nose and left. 

It was clear this place was in terrible shape. I knew it wouldn’t be safe to explore. I was so disappointed. I wanted to see where my mom and many aunts and family friends lived! 

A quick side story: during a recent holiday, I was able to speak with two great aunts on my dad’s side of the family. They told me how it felt to go to SRA during WW2. They talked about how that time was permeated with worry. How many of their male classmates were drafted. "You mean, after graduation?" I asked. No, they said. During the school year. 

They also recalled how nylon stockings were required to be worn at school for the women. That made me cringe! One my great aunts then informed me that her job on campus was to mend the nylon stockings with a tiny hooked needle. She said it was very difficult. And often, by the time the stocking was repaired, it cost more to repair than it was worth. But nylon stockings were terribly hard to come by during the war. 

It was wonderful to talk with these two great women who have seen so much change in their lives. And to hear them reflect on what an absolutely beautiful campus SRA used to be. They made it clear they were not pleased about the campus being closed, and a new one being constructed. "We thought the conference had all this money, back then." They said. They indicated they had to be sold on the idea, and trusted people they shouldn’t have. It sounded like a very controversial time. 

How many girls came sweeping out of this entryway in their church clothes, all dolled up in their 1970s best? How many boys stood outside these doors wishing to be on the other side? 

The mold and decay smells overpowered me and I had to leave. I knew mom would be heartsick if she saw what happened to a place she lived for three years. A place where she met lifelong friends and met my dad. I felt awful seeing the state of it all. 

I caught up to my dad who was explaining to my husband about how the campus was heated. He pointed to the sidewalks and said that underneath them were the tunnels that piped coal-powered boiler heat to the entire campus. 

My husband headed closer to the Ad building. 

There was a hole just cut out of where doors used to be. I looked inside. 

I was sick at heart to a) see the state of it and b) see HORSES living in this! They looked so lonely. I was afraid the ceiling was going to collapse in on them. 

And here is what remains of this side of the Ad Building.

We followed dad to the front of the Ad building. There were still some paths left around campus. 

I love the front of the Ad Building. I think it’s imposing. There used to be a sign over this entrance that indicated it was built in 1948.

Another hole cut right in the side of a beautiful building to store an old grain truck. What a shame. 

You can see how many windows are knocked out.

Here is the entrance to the Ad Building. 

And don’t you love this architecture? I think it’s so art deco and cool. 

Dad says that this is where the boys would say goodnight to their girlfriends under the watchful eye of a faculty member. Then the girls would head to the left and and boys to the right to their dorms.

Here is a photo of the same building via the 1975 school yearbook. 

Below: a photo from the 1976 SRA yearbook taken kind of in the area above between the Ad Building and the Boys’ Dorm. That’s my mom, second from left!

I made my way away from the front of the Ad Building.  I never even went here and it was getting depressing. However, my dad didn't seem to feel that way which was good.

I love finding little details like this buried in the brush. Little brick columns, just adding to the pretty campus. From what I’ve seen on old video, this campus was so nice.

Here is a yearbook photo taken in 1975 near the same spot. One of my mom’s good friends, Karlene, second from right.  She’s still my friend today!

Here’s a view of the columns (you can hardly see them) as seen from the front of the Ad Building. 

We headed back to this Auditorium building which is near the Ad Building. 

Dad said they’d go here for rec time after supper. He’d walk with mom to the front of the Ad Building and they would say goodnight. 

We went around the side. 

Dad said there used to be a weight room back here he would use. He of course made a comment about how he recognized the full potential of how "ripped” he could be. Those who know my dad know his sense of humor. 

Flashback! Here are some photos of the gym from the 1976 SRA yearbook:

Backing away from the auditorium building. The building on the left were the bathrooms that campers and cabin dwellers used to use during camp meeting (we’ll get to that!) And on occasion students would meet there for boy/girl shenanigans. Scandalous. 

In part two we will continue to explore this part of campus - the camp meeting cabins, and circle back around for a tour of the boy’s dorm and more! Stay tuned for part two!

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*Please be kind to me and others! No need for nasty comments.*

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Thank you for taking the tour with us! It takes time to photograph these places and edit the photos, and I happily share for all to enjoy. If you’ve enjoyed or appreciated this trip back in time to SRA, please consider supporting me with a donation of a couple bucks! You can donate here, or if you’re interested in prints you can find them here! If you can’t find the print you’re looking for, please let me know and I’ll be happy to help.

[thedappleddragon]

ugh im big stupid and haven't been posting my shit here for a while. I've still been typing it out in my notes, I just havent transferred them onto here lol. im putting it all under the cut, don't worry

Today was pretty dang nice! I spent a little time outside because it was nice and warm out, I drew a little in my sketchbook and digitally rendered a picture of Anna’s new princess outfit, ran an errand with my mom to pick up a graphing calculator and a pack of soda, ate some Wendy’s, and did a lot of sewing for my dress! I joined the bodice lining and exterior, and did a little over half of the sewing for the skirt. I’m doing French seams so there’s no raw edges on the inside, so I still have to iron it and go over the second round of stitches. My machine malfunctioned for a moment with the thread tangling up in the lower bobbin thingy, so I left it alone for like an hour and it fixed itself lol. I’m very happy with how the bodice came out after clipping all the extra fabric in the corners and test fitting it. I think it’ll be great when it’s done!! Although I may or may not need to seam rip a little bit of the skirt to extend the zipper down so I can get it over my fuckin DUMPTRUCK when putting it on. Right now there’s enough stretch to put it on, but Idk how well that’ll stay after attaching the 2 pieces. Also it might end up making me look fat/preggo in the end with how the skirt lays lmao. I also did a really quick test fit with the sleeves, and I might actually like it better sleeveless? I’ll put one on anyway and go from there to see which I like better. HOORAY this dress has pockets!! But I may have put them a little low lol. I wanted to do a big dress debut at prom, but turns out graduates aren’t allowed due to covid restrictions :( so that really sucks. But we’re still gonna hang out a little bit beforehand, and I can still do a debut. I made a little bow out of some scrap dress fabric, which I want to put in my hair for pre-prom. I think I’ll braid my hair, maybe get some fake flowers from dollar tree and ribbon to add somehow, and put the ribbon either at the bottom or the top, wherever the hair tie eventually goes. I’m so exited to work on it more. I’m kinda running out of white thread tho so I’ll have to get more. Later in the evening i got hungry and made ramen while my dad and I watched a documentary on some of the horrible shit that went on all around the world during 2020, some of which I had forgotten about, some that was really surreal and out of a dystopian movie, and some stuff that was just upsetting to watch. It was still pretty good tho. I got work tomorrow and I’m really sleepy even tho it’s only 12:30 so I think I’m gonna grab a snack and go to sleep soon. Gnight mwah

Yesterday I worked and sewed until I ran out of thread and drew a little bit. Spent most of my shift watering flowers, then I went home and ate for a moment, then watered more and picked dead flowers and talked about avatar and other animated shows with the highschool girl I work with. Came home and hung out for a while, that evening made some good pasta. 

Today I justly hung out, then went with mom to pick up a bookshelf and went through strawtown which I thought was a very funny name for a town. There was a cute antique shop in there tho. On the way back we stopped in a sewing shop called Always in stitches. I expected it to be a very small shop, but it was SO much bigger than I thought it would be. They had tons of fabric and quilting supplies, and lots of old ladies working and talking. I picked up a cone of white thread and a fabric sample pack. Then I sewed my dress a little bit. I still have lots to do, and only like 2.5 days to do it. I’ll get there tho. All I have to do is add the skirt hem, add the pockets back in (I took them out so I could see them in normally), add sleeves and hem them, and add the zipper. And attach the skirt to the bodice. I think I’ll be able to do it. I had yogurt for the first time in forever today. Tbh I used just enough to hold together the strawberry and granola bits kgelgskgs. It was pretty good tho. I drew ELEVEN pages in my sketchbook, about 8 of them being a comic about the pony au of our royalty au. I could have done the comic with human characters but ponies are so much easier to draw aggsssdh. I spent 40 minutes typing out the dialogue and editing it on top of the rest of the comic so my friend could read it, but she still hasn’t read my text :( oh well that’s fine lol. The original plot was supposed to be Sam talking to an accidental illusion of me being mean about her blight, but then I accidentally made it something different. I might just draw the alternate ending instead. Update I just did

Yesterday I sewed and went to Menards to buy tile for moms bathroom.

Today was VERY productive, I feel like. I woke up and immediately took a shower and did laundry. I spent some one just sitting on my bed scrolling and researching while listening to medieval remixes of songs lol. At some point I went out to buy subway for everyone and stopped at dollar tree for nail polish and satin ribbon. I made the ribbon into a little choker and wanted to use it for the hem of the skirt, but I was too short. In total I spent HOURS hemming and pinning and seam ripping and ironing and sewing today, but it’s still not done. I gotta kick my ass into high gear if it’s gone be done by Sunday afternoon. I started sewing the bottom hem, but my machine has been doing this weird thing where the fabric scrunches up right past the sewing foot and leaves wrinkles and gathers so loose I can move it around with my hands easily. I think it’s just my tension being too tight or something, I adjusted it a bit and I’ll test it in the morning. I’m too tired and it’s too late at night to be doing that much sewing. I seam ripped the entire back skirt seam so I could extend the zipper a little further down, and I’ll sew it back up once the hem is done. After that all I need to donis connect the skirt to the bocice, fix the zipper, and hem the arm holes. I don’t want to use the sleeves I made because the edges don’t line up at all and I don’t think I would be able to lift my arms, the way it’s built. The nail polish I picked up works way better than I thought it would, leaving a pretty good metallic sheen after just one coat. Way better than I thought for a dollar. I helped mom lay down tile a little bit, ripping up one old tile and helping a bit at a time throughout the day. I kept asking if she wanted help with the actual tiling part but she said no. We also couldn’t get the fuckin box cutter I bought to work. It’s supposed to be easy to replace the blade, but we couldn’t figure it out lol. I’m falling asleep fun. Washed my face twice, trying to take good care of myself before prom so I look good in photos. Gotta wash hair tomorrow. Made hamburger meat

Spent all day sewing and listening to bardcore remixes. Dress is as done as I bother to make it rn

Tbh I was hoping for a little more for today. I’ve spent the last like week or longer working towards this, and going especially in depth the past 3 days. I got all silky smooth, worked for hours on my dress, thought about pretty much nothing except prom day. I was late because my dad had my neighbor come over to take pictures of me in my dress. I thought it was just going to be her holding my dad’s phone to get a picture of us together, but she brought her whole ass professional camera and spent several minutes taking pictures. Then I took the weirdest way possible to get to my friend’s house on accident because google maps said it was the fastest way to get there. But HEY when I did get there I enjoyed hanging out with my friends. We ate some dinner AND??? Sammie I’m sorry if you’re reading this but THE MASHED POTATOES?? WERE S O BLAND????? AFAJSTSTHJST ily but girl. Just a little salt could have gone a long way <3 the steak and especially the green bean casserole were good tho :) dinner was good with the sparkling juice and little desert. Overall everything was just very loud, but that’s to be expected when this is everyone’s first time seeing each other in a goddamn while: actually I think they’ve all seen each other at school without me but hey whatever. I think I fucked up my phone screen on accident by sitting on it while it was in my pocket with my keys, leaving a spiderweb crack in it. I checked and yeah it’s not just the screen protector :( eh I don’t care that much, It didn’t fuck up the lcd screen or anything. We went up to Sam’s room and hung out and talked while she did Liz’s makeup and took pictures, and I borrowed a little of her concealer before photos. There was a little photo shoot in their front yard, and looking at the photos I look a little fat in them but I LOVE all the photos taken in Sam’s room where we were all just hanging out. Idk why but whenever you have to do photos and they say to do a silly one, it never turns out good, but the fun ones you casually take always turn out way better. They’re more genuine :) but then it was time for everyone to go to prom and for me to go home 😔 we only hung out for like an hour and a half. I didn’t want to take off my dress, seeing as I put in so much effort to sew the whole dress and shave and look pretty, so I wore it around the house for a bit until I got tired and went to lay in bed. I watched the mitchels vs the machines, which is a fuckin DELIGHTFUL movie!! Everybody go watch it it’s so cute <3 I also played some Pokémon and watched a little YouTube in bed, but feeling unfulfilled and wanting to do something different, I just didn’t know what. So instead I started typing this up as my sister brought me a cupcake from prom :) I had a bite and put the rest in the fridge, since it was so big and in a plastic container. I texted a friend over Snapchat asking if they had fun at prom, and they said it was kinda ass. I tried relating and saying yeah all school dances are a little ass, and my friend group once had anti prom and played dnd instead, but they just said ‘that’s nice’ back and idk if that means they’re annoyed at me or they’re just tired and didn’t wanna text or what but :( idk. Either way it’s fine, right now all I care about is going to bed. Gnight I guess. Also I keep thinking about that textpost that’s like “diary of icarly” and she talks in these simple-ass sentences and now I feel self conscious about how I write these snafnfs. I already know I write like a child in these, but that’s just because I don’t wanna go through the effort of making this sound nice and professional every day lmao. So child writing it is. Also painted my nails really horribly and it took forever to clean up which made me late

Woke up, went to work, spent a little time stocking, watered indoor plants, then attempting to work the register, and organized plants the rest of the time. I stood behind one of my coworkers as she checked people out, kind of understanding what she was doing but not that much, and read the manual in down periods. She had me check out a couple people, and it was NERVE WRACKING AS HELL. Thankfully everyone was very nice, and my coworker stood by and helped, and right as I was getting my foothold, my boss called for me to work outside and bring in the new shipment of plants. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WAS REALLY NICE?? I was actually able to help some people today!! :D I’m slowly getting better at my job which is nice :) originally I was only gonna work 4 hours, but there were more plants to get and I felt like I could keep going, so I ended up working 6 instead. Every time I come home from the end of my shift I feel bad for not working more and like I should have stayed longer. Tbh I think I could do it if I had a proper break! I’ve been doing 4 hour shifts with maybe a water break in the middle because i don’t know how to ask to go on break ;-; Ike my secondary boss in the garden center is super nice and approachable and friendly but the main boss is like. Terrifying. I never know when he’s joking or being serious and I don’t understand him and assffsfamms it SUCKS. But whatever, I went home and ate some Mac n cheese and laid in bed because my back hurt and played on my ds for the rest of the night. I tried a couple new games, none of which I spent very long on. I tried okami den where you’re the wolf puppy child of the precious games protagonist I think, and idk maybe I’ll give it a better try in the future, but I wasn’t feelin it. I spent like 30 minutes on a pro bass fishing simulator and couldn’t clear the first level because the fish wouldn’t get close enough to my boat lmao. Sonic and Mario at the Olympic Games was fun until I lost at table tennis to Mario. I’d play it again. But I have work again tomorrow so I gotta go to bed good night. Having to blast my fan and play drawfee on my phone to drown out moms tv again >:(

Ate a pbj for breakfast? Went to work, moved plants around, took my lunch break, went to subway with an expired coupon, ate at home and times it perfectly so I could watch one section of the new drawfee episode, went back to work, made myself sad thinking about the god girl homunculus from fullmetal alchemist, picked dead flowers off the petunias, left a little early, hung out at home, left to go get mom’s medicine, found my dad at the store, followed him around and shopped for a bit, can home to unload everything, talked with him about buying one of the cars from him so it would be under mom’s insurance after the divorce, talked about being able to hang out at dads apparent after we help him move, ate some of the stuff we bought, and now I’m hanging out in bed again. I picked up my Pokémon black save and played a while today which was nice. I think I’m gonna work more in the next few days, be really busy with shit for like a week, and finally have a breather after the 15th. I really need to switch brain gears back into college stuff soon so I can sign up for orientation and figure out finances and shit, but for now it’s midnight and I don’t have to think about it lol

Today was pretty good, but also pretty boring. I played Pokémon all day since I didn’t have work, cooked some hamburger meat, and went on an errand for mom but got the wrong thing so I went out later to buy the right thing. I got spicy chicharrones instead of regular ones oops. On my drive back from getting the right thing, I rolled all my windows down and loved the feeling of driving around right after sunset when the weather was nice but cool, especially after standing in mom’s loud-ass room trying to ask about her bank card. I thought about going back out to aimlessly drive around the park and back, but instead hung out in my kitchen as my cat fell asleep on my lap. I think I’m gonna get paid tomorrow, so that’s exciting :D I probably made a solid couple hundred dollars if I had to guess. Idk what I’m getting paid per hour, but it’s probably ~$10 and I COULD go through my texts again to see how much I’ve worked, but I don’t really wanna lmao. I should just start putting that in my notes app instead...

Just had probably the most involved, longest dream ever?? It was a mix of infinity train and dangenrompa, we were mostly stuck inside my house, one boy left for years to search for supplies, I tried biking along a tail that disappeared into tree roots and a ditch with grass, cried because we had been in the same car for so long I was afraid they were gonna make us kill someone to get past, and at the end we escaped or something and had to fuck up security cameras and get past loopholes and lots of cereal boxes were involved? Idk there’s just so much I don’t remember. I wasn't sure if I had to go to work today, so I sent my boss a text and just kinda hung out. was making  hamburger meat for my mom when my boss called asking me to come in, so I took a shower and worked from 1-5. spent some time at the register, and got way better at checking stuff out :) I learned a couple things, and there was one old lady in particular who was very patient and nice to me while my coworker went to go find a smaller bag of birdseed. when it stopped being busy inside, I went ut to the garden center to help price plants and spent the rest of my shift out there. I got paid too! $9 an hour, 22 hours, $200 in total. hell yeah. not bad, although I literally have no frame of reference on if this Is good or not. after work I went home for a second, then got Hardee’s (or carls jr in the western states). I used a coupon for chicken tenders for me and my sister :) and while I was driving around today, I found myself wishing that everything in life could be as smooth and easy as driving my car through my neighborhood. and then I kinda laughed thinking about how I cried my first time driving on a major road asdjfasjdhf. but seriously I love driving my dad’s silver Volvo!! its so comfy with 4 wheel drive and good petal control, its like always driving on freshly paved roads <3 unfortunately that's the car my dad is taking when he moves into his apartment to use as his full time car instead of his shit-ass blue Volvo, and we’re gonna be stuck with the red Volvo with a really touchy gas pedal and slow break pedal. (idk if you've noticed but we really love old Volvos in this family. they’re all old and boxy as hell and I love em <3 ) then I played Pokemon black and beat the elite 4 and champion in one try with a lot of revives lmao. I was kinda underleveled, right at 48-50 range, same as them. I was angry about stuff and in pain earlier in the shower as I washed my hair, but I dont remember exactly what it was. now I have my soft Spotify playlist going so I can maybe go to sleep soon. oh wait I remember being angry that all I could thin about all day was work, even tho it only takes up a few hours of my day, and then I do nothing all day afterwards. idk it’s just weird.