#sassy alhaitham will be the death of me

[s1llyalabaster]

ratio x alhaitham sibling au

ratio+alhaitham sibling au! where:

they sit together, crossing their arms when their blonde partners make a terribly, terribly wrong decision

they begrudglingly open their fanmail from secret admirers of their respective organisations, shaking their heads in sync when they read something sappy or "utterly shameless and disgusting", in their words

ratio cringes at any type of pda kavetham do in the house, promptly locking himself in his room before something that he doesn't want to see happens

ratio's face turns a slight red when alhaitham teases him about who he wants to pursue, and hits him over the head with his book

aventurine and kaveh hold them back from fighting each other (well, aventurine wants to enjoy the show, but for the sake of it, holds them back to see what funny insults they come up with to throw at each other)

they hold a lecture together, one with brows furrowed, trying to teach the class in peace, and another finding a way to distract him with snarky remarks (you can guess which one is which)

[throwaway-yandere]

(Nutjob anon)

Everyone simping after Tighnari or Haitham, and then there's me, going feral because FELIXFELIXFELIXFELIX MY BELOVED FELIX SNFJEJJEVGRRRRRR this chapter's insults were endorsed by Felix. Not a lot of boars, but the vibe was there so it's a win for me! I would nominate him as possible next underboss... but we both know that that's a bad idea lmao.

And since you are adding 3h characters, ai have a feeling Childe and Sylvain could be good friends! ... Only for them to talk trash behind the other's back ("I swear! His personality is so fake. How come you can stand him?")

And I'll also like to raise you: Linhardt and Tighnari being friends: Green, sassy, doesn't care for titles and only his research? Yes, they'd be very good friends.

I am also getting Lysithea vibes from the capo: wanting to do a lot but little time, and everyone needs to give them a vibe check for that attitude lol I hope Barbara can smack some sense into them, because I can't help but think that capo is also operating under the "there's nothing more terrifying than a man who has nothing left to lose". Yes, they are fighting for their men, but they personally don't care about what might happen to them, so we better watch out that sanity meter, or else the capo will turn into the real hazard all along the way.

And dunno Ansy, I know you want to help us with hinting that bringing Cyno is bad, but the one that I don't trust is Haitham lmao Cyno said it himself: don't kill Tighnari. Even if what he did makes his blood boil, at least he is conscious enough to first get the cure. But Haitham is quite prideful, so maybe he'll come with some shit that he is the only one we need and he can always steal what Tighnari have done and finish it. After all, the main point is to cure you, right? Anything else is expendable. And maybe having Cyno there might help him clarify some questions he might have.

I don't like how autorithive Haitham is, with ordering us to leave (even if it was good for us). That means he has no reservations in misleading us if what we are doing doesn't go with his agenda. So with Tighnari, someone who is... somewhat on the same ground as him in terms of research, he might not think as your underboss but as an academic rival when acting.

Anyways, angst hurts me but boy that I will spin that death wheel with gusto 😎

HDIAOAOAK I TRY MY BEST TO MAKE THE FE:TH CHARACTERS SUBTLE HERE (that very much failed with dimitri cause first off I'm a simp and second it's weird if the reader doesn't grieve for at least one chapter lol) SO I CAN'T MAKE FELIX THE UNDERBOSS EVEN IF I WANT TO 😭😭 (i actually added him in cuz I thought of you lolol)

(kazuha was almost the underboss tho but Alhaitham won lol)

I think not a lot of genshin players are major FE:TH fans so I gotta be real sneaky with the characters lol... But that sylvain idea 🤔🤔🤔 considering childe's whole comical side story with lumine rn I could invite mister steal your girl for some dumb sht lol. Lindhart is a rather european name so I could have him as another one of Focalor's people ehe, though he'd probably ask for Tighnari to do his job for him cause he's too lazy–

AND YES LYSITHEA AND CAPO WOULD HAVE BEEN BESTIES 😭😭😭 THEY'D UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND THEY'D PROBABLY FEEL LESS ALONE USIAOWO THESE POOR PEOPLE– the difference between the two of them is that lysithea always feels like she's being looked down on like a kid while the capo feels like they have too many burdens to bear– making these two vent to one another would probably be therapeutic for them ;;----;;;

My two au's right now both have nothing left to lose vibes, although capo!reader has that a lot less than our unhinged hyshum!reader. The only thing holding them back is that some of their men are still alive. They do care, it's just that they don't want to overthink:

These men have families, wives, husbands, children– what would become of them if they recklessly charged for revenge? There's no need to drag these people into nonsensical slaughter. It's your problem Capo, it's YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. And it's selfish to make them die for you when they have a better reason for living.

Their conscience won't allow it.

These type of thoughts just pull them back. It's all true, of course, their reasoning is sound but it is suffocating. Hence, most of their inner turmoil are repressed.

Oh and don't get me wrong! I respect your choices for bringing Cyno along– I love the chaos. I'm just tryina warn those certain simps that "something bad is about to happen to you and you should definitely question what happens of one of them dies-"

Or you know, I may be misleading everyone because I want a bad ending.

: )

Since when was I known for writing happy endings for my fics? Ehehehehehehehehehhehehehehheheheehehehehhehehehehhe–

And oh my darling nutjob anon...

Both Cyno and Alhaitham want to take credit for your cure. That's one of the many things that made these three idiot's truce work.

Alhaitham is authoritative, no doubt about that, but he respects you a ton. He could've done something stupid like kidnap you or try to remove you from being a Capo– but he'd rather spend some (very limited) time with you as someone you won't forget this time, (N/n).

You can consider Cyno the one with the "hidden agenda" because he's loyal to the church. He considers it his personal blessing that he was the one assigned to monitor you. Cyno is a very lonely person here. He is very prone to making idealized versions of you that fits his imaginations, and fortunately for him the Cardinals acknowledge his devotion to his missionary works.

And then there's our used-to-be-Innamorati-Familia's-informant, Professor Tighnari.

"The main point is to cure you, everything else is expendable." is exactly the dangerous mindset he is on. We'll get to him soon! It's about time he sees his Capo again!