#sasha and tim think its hilarious

[automatonwithautonomy]

I like to believe that, once, Jon was recording a statment, and he accidentally said: "Jonathan Sims, Head Institute of the Magnus Archives, London." He threw the tape away, but one day Elias is giving a tour and he just says, in the most deadpan voice: "And this is Jonathan Sims, our head institute - oops, I mean archivist." All while staring at him straight in the eyes.

[nephriteknight]

so a while back i made a post about what my blorbos' playstyles would be like in botc/social deduction games in general, and at the time i didn't include tma because they have so much highly specific trauma and dangerous eldritch appetites that this would be terrible for, but i just can't stop thinking about the very silly scenario where the tma characters play botc together. it would go so badly.

the banned character list includes fortune teller, spy, snake charmer, oracle, evil twin, vigormortis, no dashii, pacifist, cannibal, cult leader, fisherman, pixie, golem, plague doctor, organ grinder, and ojo, because elias keeps cheating. ojo and oracle somehow keep ending up in the bag anyway.

daisy gets way too into hunting down the demon. Guns Will Be Drawn.

jon and tim handle this game Extremely Predictably. i just know s1 tim would adore botc but s3 tim is having an awful time. oh great yeah one of our friends is a shape shifting demon lying to our faces? perfect. jon is on the verge of a panic attack but instead of breaking down he's just interrogating everyone very aggressively. hey, at least everyone believes he's on the good team.

basira solves the game right away and spends the rest of the game trying to convince everyone else. only georgie believes her.

martin is very good at being evil in these kinds of games (and also benefits from people not expecting him to be good at it), so when he pulls the demon he could demolish good, but, uh, he's honestly not sure jon could handle that right now so he gets caught on purpose without letting anyone else realize he threw.

elias insisted peter would attend and he did not in fact show. luckily no one believed he would come so it's not really a problem. ("you called it a 'social deduction' game, elias, it's in the name! no i'm not coming--")

...annabelle's the storyteller? i mean. she obviously would if she was there. i feel like sasha gives me st vibes as well but i might just be projecting again.

multiple games are ruined because jon accidentally compels the demon to tell him their role. one of those was not fully an accident.

simon is having a grand old time but he really doesn't give a shit about winning/the game which is less of a problem when he's good but very much a problem for his teammates when he's evil.

melanie draws the psychopath "by chance" several times and enjoys it way too much. daisy handles an outed evil player whom town can't easily execute exactly as poorly as you'd expect. i cannot emphasize enough how unlikely it is that canon team archives could play this game without at least one person getting hurt, killed, or giving in to the dark powers completely.

helen is eating it all up. literally. (elias is still pissed that the spy got banned.) she still never outright lies, which unfortunately for everyone else but fortunately for her (and simon, who thinks its hilarious) means she can't tell outright truths when she's good either or it'll look suspicious when she's evil. no one is ever fully certain what she is or what she's doing. pure chaos and we love her for it. (we being me; team archives does not in fact love her for it.)

elias is still cheating, but when they threaten to fill the room with eyeless dolls he decides to quit while he's (not) ahead and just watch from his office like an eldritch twitch chat.

[autisticsupervillain]

The Magnus Archives AU: The Magnus HR Department

Because the Distortion is kinda sorta Michael, it's still under the contract for Elias that Michael signed. Distortion Michael finds its plans derailed by having to still work at the Institute. With nothing else for the Spiral agent to really do, Elias makes him head of HR, tasking him with feeding anyone who complains too much to the hallways. Archive staff is exempt because Elias still needs them so Michael has to settle for being an unbearable coworker to Jon instead of killing him as planned.

Jon only discovers this when he takes Not-Sasha to the HR office to help fix her computer for the fiftieth time and sees Michael sitting there with bags under his eyes and a cup of glowing coffee. Not-Sasha has an existential crisis when Michael explains the situation, realizing that they might be stuck under Elias's contract too. This being Season 2 Jon, this breakdown only further convinces him that Sasha is trustworthy and everyone else isn't. How else would you react to finding out the eldritch abomination stalking you was now your co-worker?

Not-Sasha tries to quit, but Elias makes it clear he knows exactly what they are and reassigns them to HR to keep them from trying to kill his employees. Elias is hoping this'll provoke the Stranger cult to attack the Institute so Jon can get marked by them, but Nikola thinks this situation is hilarious and leaves them be so she can hear about all the juicy Magnus office drama instead.

The Archive Staff try to be sympathetic to "Sasha" being stuck working with her stalker and Tim even threatens Michael not to lay a hand on her. Jon stops by to offer his support to Sasha and Michael is flabbergasted to see a Head Archivist who actually cares about his employees. Not-Sasha is just annoyed.

Everyone outside the Archive staff thinks that Michael is just a myth, until one day he walks out into the break room, nabs some random guy, and drags him back to the HR Office so Michael can "hear his complaint". After three minutes of screaming, the guy is never heard from again. Everyone tries to resign in mass after that, but Elias tells them to take it up with HR. No one does.

Martin thinks he's protecting the staff by satiating Michael with tea. Michael plays into this because he thinks its funny. And the tea is really good.

Not-Them uses Michael's hallways as an uber to report back to the Circus about their ritual plans. And to gossip with Nikola about the burgeoning Jon Martin love drama.

Not Sasha's new responsibilities keeps them from trying to kill anyone and Sasha's absence keeps Jon from investigating her and discovering the truth, so they survive undercover past Season Two. Instead, Jon happens across Jurgen while investigating the tunnels and the rest plays out as in canon from there.

When the Unknowing is foiled, Not Sasha gets their revenge by being maliciously compliant, become a very helpful HR Rep who improves the workplace in ways that help employees but inconvenience Elias/Peter. Michael helps because Peter keeps sending bad employees to the Lonely instead of letting him eat them, so he's pissed too.

While annoying Jon in his office one day, Michael notices Jon about to burn Gerry's page and swipes it from him. When Michael reads Gerry's page, he explains that if the contract can keeo Michael on staff now that he's the Distortion, then Gerry probably still works here too now that he's a book. The HR Department now spends all of Season 4 complaining about Gertrude and passive aggressively annoying Peter, with Gerry as an unofficial member (no one can find Peter to ask him what Gerry's job should be now).

Finally, the Season ends with the HR Team preventing the apocalypse by realizing that Elias technically isn't protected by the contracts while in prison, so Michael just stops by jail and yeets him into the hallways. Jon kills Peter to save Martin and Martin is now head of the Institute, working to undo the damage Elias and Peter did while trying to keep the HR Team in line. They can't hurt anyone else while working for him, after all.... mostly.

[morganmnemonic]

Im watching The Magnus Archives for the first time at the behest of a friend and so far its just like

Episode 1: ok, fun little horror stories. Seems competently written, but I'm not sure how invested I'll get in a story who's format relegates plot and story progression to the background.

Episode 14: Bravo. This story really got to me. Being threatened with a future in which parts of you are removed one by one, and being powerless to stop it, just having to live with the knowledge that soon there will be nothing left? Horrifying. The Magnus Archives is a horror podcast and it does it well

Episode 16: Ok, I'm with Jon on this one. You are telling me that this guy was haunted and killed by the ghost of a vengeance addled spider? Thats ridiculous. What a way to go. It's almost funny.

Episode 34: bone apple teeth. I think I've solved it. The Magnus Archives is an absurdist comedy. The institute, a becon of knowledge and understanding, is being contrasted with these stories that defy the ability to be understood. They are researching the paranormal, which is an oxymoron. The primary humor comes from Jon, a rational skeptic failing to accept the reality of an irrational world. This contrast is further exemplified with occasional bouts of mundanity (Tim complaining about errors in recordings, Sasha pondering the pronunciation of calliope, martin not wearing trousers), which further highlight the Absurd. So many people witness events beyond their comprehension, horrific and wacky alike, and then have to just go back to their normal lives like nothing happened, and it's hilarious each and every time.

[oh-no-the-hyperfixations]

Flight rising TMA Fandragons pt 1 of 3

This will contain spoilers

-

So i’ve been working on transforming the tma cast into silly little dragons ^^ jon was my first i planned out in july of last year. Its been a Very fun and Deeply expensive little collection which is still ongoing. The colors for these are in the alt text ^^

Jons skin was made by yours truly and was single handedly one of my most expensive items to buy, it features all his mentioned scars (or most anyways-) his burnt hand, teethmarks from daisy over his neck, and although they cant be seen with his outfit stab marks from michael. I thought a green theme fit him well given the podcasts coverart. I figured with the amount of stress this dude goes through a spiral was a perfect fit.

Martin was rather difficult to find the correct colors for at the time. I wanted him to carry pieces of his past with him (a locket from his mother, a coat from his internship with peter lukas and his tea set) i wanted him to be a Protector so i thought an obby was a good choice

Tim was Beyond fun and So So difficult, i wanted to play around with the idea of him becoming an avatar of the desolation after his demise and made him out of Wax and fire. Unfortunately they Still don’t have Hawaiian style shirts in FR so i had to compromise. I gave him some carnival wear to show its still Part of him

Sasha was a little difficult to get perfect- i wanted to show that she was plain enough to Melt into the background. She’s wrapped in more of the carousel set to show she Cant get off the merry go round because she Doesn’t have a face. I took Heavy inspo of her design from @reidspng sasha design cause i think they captured her Perfectly

Melanie King I was playing around with the thought of Ghost bullets and Bones, i scried her colors on accident after some trial and error and just Loved it, her outfit just fell in place after i got the skry ^^

Gerry was one of the first i completed fully- i saw the kelpie hair and just Knew it would be a perfect box dye, i wanted to give him this sorta ghostly aura- like you’d just summoned him in a seance and he just looks beyond annoyed

Gertrude was a little difficult to find the proper scry for- it felt like Nothing i was doing was turning out right- i started with her outfit first and worked backwards eventually landing on this- i’m rather happy with her overall- her as a coatl just worked out so well for a little arson grannie

Adelard dekker, One of my all time favorite statements mag157 has always stayed with me and i just Knew i had to make this fella. Poison and concrete were my inspirations, i wanted to imagine him as an avatar of the extinction having risen from his tomb to study and try to reverse the end of humanity.

Basira Husain- it is- hilariously difficult to make a modest muslim outfit in a game that doesn’t allow religious imagery- i eventually landed on this which was the Best i could manage. Her skry came after, i wanted to show off her intelligence and mild affiliation with the eye as Glasses (very cliche i know)

Last for this group is Daisy tonner- she’s my eldest of my fandragons at 7 years old (very expensive little purchase ;-;) i liked the idea of having mud and soil as a theme to reference when she was in the buried. She was originally planned as an imperial but i thought a wildclaw would suit her better.

[coruscantknave]

Hi it’s the Jon cosplayer, I saw the tags on your reblog of my post and I couldn’t help myself lol

That was me at the horror panel!! I’m the one who scared the panel host’s wife! I can’t believe the person sitting behind me saw my post, that’s insane. What are the chances??

I was actually there with a TMA group! The people sitting near me were Nikola, Tim, Not!Sasha, and Elias lol.

Anyway that’s all I wanted to say, have a nice day!

Yesss I knew it! I saw the wife-spooking callout, that was hilarious, a real credit to your craft! The odds are pretty wild when I think about it - part of why I Had to say something when I saw your original post haha

I think I did catch a glimpse of the Nikola, its all falling into place now. It's awesome you were able to get a whole group together, catch up with other cosplayers is honestly my favorite thing about PAX and any convention honestly.

I hope you had a great time, and again, absolutely terrific cosplay! I hope you're planning to bring it out again in the future to show it off some more, it absolutely deserves it

[lycanlovingvampyre]

MAG 101 Relisten

Activity on my first listen: I'm not sure (how poetic for this episode), I think I listened to it randomly on the couch because I wanted to know what happened to Jon

ORSINOV: "Is it… your Elias who listens?" Is this the first time a character has brought up the topic of what the tapes are and/or who is listening? I think so. Jon talks about this with Tim, but that doesn't happen for another few episodes.

ORSINOV: "Oh, don’t worry, it’s not for you. You won’t even need a coffin – we’re going to use every piece of you." JON: [MUFFLED EXCLAMATION] You can totally hear how he says "of me?". As far as I know this "effect" was achieved by Jonny just shoving his fist in his mouth, right? xD

I love the eerie song in the background. Is it the skinless choir? (Okay, because I'm constantly complaining about British locations and their pronounciation, it's only fair to bring this up as well: Who the hell did decide how to pronounce choir???)

ORSINOV: "Oh, of course! So, Elias, can I call you Elias?" It feels like everybody knows about Elias and it's some unspoken law not to openly talk about it because it's so much funnier that way.

ORSINOV: "You know, I must say Elias, can I call you Elias? You have not raised this one very well." This is also a clue. Because "this one" implies there were other Archivists he raised. But Jon's predecessor was Gertrude and she started out in the Archives around 1965 (MAG 4). We know from MAG 49 that Elias only joined the Institute in 1991 and was promoted to Head of the Institute in 1996. He did not "raise" Gertrude. Or should I say, "Elias" did not raise Gertrude.

ORSINOV: "He is rude. And he just will not stop asking questions. Ooh, but now, I can ask the questions! How are you feeling?" JON: [MUFFLED FEELINGS] First of all, muffled feelings is hilarious. Second, the PG-13 version would say "not good", but I think it's "fuck you" XD

ORSINOV: "So, I thought, out with the old, in with… well, in with the you!" JON: [PADDED PANICKY PROSTESTATIONS] You can totally hear he's calling out for Elias.

ORSINOV: "Oh, no, I’m afraid he can’t See you, can you Elias, can I call you Elias? What’s the point of having a secret place of power if you can’t hide it from a big, stupid eye?" Confirmation of what Elias said in MAG 92 to be true. The Stranger is antithetical to the Eye. I Do Not Know You. It's about not-knowing (unknowing, hehe) and hiding. I wonder if Elias was a bit concerned about the development of Jon being with the Circus. I mean he needed a Stranger mark, but maybe Not!Sasha did already count for that? There was nothing he could do to intervene here though.

I hear a last "fuck..." from Jon there after Orsinov leaves.

MICHAEL: "I’ve come to a decision, Archivist. I’m going to kill you." JON: [FRUSTRATED GROAN] I think at this point, after being a month with the Circus and they haven't killed him yet. After Daisy, Mike and Jude. After Not!Sasha, after Prentiss... Jon is actually a bit tired of death threats.

MICHAEL: "Before I do, however, I want you to understand… even if it does go against my nature. So." All of this is against its nature! Giving answers and most of all, putting itself in a clear position. The clear position of the antagonist. That is not how the Spiral works, it takes away what makes you question yourself.

MICHAEL: "Quiet, Archivist. The cramped casket sings loud, but not loud enough to drown out screaming." Ohhh, now I get the rain soundeffect from the beginning of the scene! That is actually sooo clever, I fucking love these little details that make everything work!

So many of these monsters and avatars are out to get revenge. Revenge against Gertrude, who did those things to them. But Gertrude isn't around anymore and they settle for revenge against the Archivist, even if Jon never had anything to do with it. But they don't care. They probably don't even see that. What's the difference between this Archivist and the last one? Archivist is Archivist and will act like an Archivist. Hereditary sin, as Christians call it. The believe that Adam and Eve passed down their sinful nature to all humankind. It's blaming individuals for wrongfulness committed by their ancestors. It's fucking stupid. But, it's something that is deeply embedded in European cultures with Christian backgrounds...

MICHAEL: "Michael Shelley, though, he is easier to keep track of. He was born. He was pointless." And he was 92 years old at every point in canon xD

Zemlya Sannikova, The Land of Sannikov... is a Soviet 1974 adventure film about the fictional Sannikov Land loosely based on the 1924 novel of the same name by Vladimir Obruchev. (yeah, I copied that from Wikipedia)... This is hilarious!

MICHAEL: "Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature?" Oh yeah, gimme more of these philosophical shit, I love it!

MICHAEL: "The mind does not shatter, Archivist. It is soft and malleable. It bends and twists and returns to what it was, though what you see and feel may leave their mark upon it." YES, this is what I'm talking about.

MICHAEL: "And yet it was a map. A map to me. It made no sense, lines overlapping and inverting, but once within, Michael knew which turns to make, which doors to open, which mirrors to shatter." I think this map is less an item of direction as it is an item to stay on the path, to have a clear goal, something to focus on. It could be an artefact to cancel out a specific Fear, like the old syringe in MAG 45 or the camera with the broken lens.

The voice acting of the statement is phenomenal. 

JON: [Defeated] "Okay." T___T 

I love this scene so much. Jon chose to die here. He chose to die and that decision was denied to him. I will bring this up in MAG 121 again^^ 

Don't forget to turn down the volume right after "Oh. Oh no."

HELEN: "I don’t know. I never know, not really." NOT REALLY!

JON: "No, not, not really, but…" NOT REALLY!

@a-mag-a-day

[qnewsau]

Growing Families step-by-step

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/growing-families-step-by-step/

Growing Families step-by-step

Increasingly, gay singles and couples are thinking about raising families of their own beyond a pooch. Growing Families’ annual conference – this year in Sydney on 22-23 June – has become the go-to community hub for all those looking to build family – whether through donor eggs, surrogacy or foster care and adoption.

Growing Families is the only organisation of its kind that has the resources, expertise and contacts to provide 360 degree education and support for all those looking at alternative family-building, whatever their nationality or budget.

Some prospective gay dads have a friend or family member who offers to donate eggs or carry as a surrogate. Others locate a donor and make embryos locally, in the hope of matching with a surrogate. If unsuccessful, some ship embryos to a country with surrogates.

Many others head directly to international options to take advantage of the wider choice of donors and professional recruitment, screening and support of surrogates.

Sydney couple Tim and his husband Sasha (pictured above) leant on Surrogacy Australia to help find a surrogate. Two months later, their surrogate Lizzy came into their lives.

At the 2022 Growing Family Conference they decided to work with a US IVF specialist, which meant creating embryos across the Pacific. Lizzy would need to get her passport ready.

Thankfully, the first attempt worked and in February 2024, their baby boy Atticus was born in Sydney.

While always logistically complicated, these journeys often have many twists and turns.

Melbourne based social media sensation Scott O’Halloran (better known through his hilarious podcast Luke & Sassy Scott) and his partner Marcus wanted a surrogate prepared to carry twins.

Turning to Growing Families for support through the process, they were steered to the USA. While the wait for a surrogate was lengthy, their twins (as is common) decided to come early, necessitating a race to Amarillo, Texas to support their infant sons. You will hear more about these journeys in June.

Growing Families annual conference weekend will focus on local surrogacy & foster care, as well as surrogacy in North and South America.

Designed to give you realistic expectations of the process, costs and likely hurdles, there are lots of opportunities to talk to fellow intended parents, dads with kids, donors, past and future surrogates and hear from older kids.

There are social functions and a pub dinner. Wherever you are in the process – it’s a great way to kickstart your research, get support, connect with people who’ve walked in your shoes or celebrate family.

The best thing about this community is the friendships you make. The conference is a great way to start or cement those. So whether you are part way along, or still considering options, don’t miss this once-yearly opportunity.

You can find full information here.

For the latest LGBTIQA+ Sister Girl and Brother Boy news, entertainment, community stories in Australia, visit qnews.com.au. Check out our latest magazines or find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube.

[thebutterflycharm321-blog]

Few things about the magnus archives

1. Did we get any idea of how thr rest of the Institute functions? I dont really understand how all 4 of the cast worked there for at least a decade and didnt notice anything supernatural -- jon is one thing but what about Tim? Or Sasha? Moreover, how did none of the researchers start noticing a clear distinct pattern between statements or other supernatural sightings. Its one thing for a youtube community to intentionally stray away from anything actually dangerous, as Melanie discovers, its another thing to have your entire job with resources and manpower to investigatr to not notice a link between testimonies. I have some headcanons that would explain this but im wpndering if the creators already have?

2. I headcanon that Jon could have managed his statement-feeding-addiction thing like a food addicition. For example: having designated 'feeding' times to prevent overeating, keeping himself busy with fictional stories, stuff like that.

3. Apparently Jon is *younger* than martin which is absolutely hilarious and bizzare. I would be slightly infuriated if i found out that my strict, standoffish, perfectionist boss is younger than me. I rememver how Martin in season 2 is like "yeah im extremely underqualified for this, im only 29" and i can judt imagine Jon starts sweating.

4. Does anyone struggle to come up with good qualities for Jon? I love the man to death but its difficult to discern many of his good qualities that cant be attributed to his eye powers or that arent character flaws which are now like normal human behaviout. Im probably missing something but yeah ill just have to let my brain sit on this for a while.

5. Im wondering how the world was like after the apocalypse. It seems the Dread Powers were able to displace and manipukate much of the natural world -- ie removing the sun, reducing buildings to rubble etc. However, the Camera was able to undo much of this, ie bringing back thr sun. But its ability to temporarily restore the ruined buildings is questionable -- was Mikela's mansion always untouched or the Camera restored it?. Either way, i wonder how widespread the restoration was. I would hope that peoples injuries were largely healed? Anyways, its interesting to think about how a qorld would rebuild after that.

6. I have a theory that the letting Dread Powers go into another Universe was a temporary solution. There was still nothing done about thr actual mechanisms which create them in the first place and in a world where 99% of tge population has probably developed PTSD, i woukd imagine a very quick revival. I wondwr how such a world would look like; where the Dread Powers existence is known.

[hyperfixationspam]

tma voice actors rated on how well they would play the character in live action

Jonathan Sims as The Archivist: 3/10. He just doesnt look pathetic enough. Its the poor little meow meow factor. He gets some points for looking like he might be just a little bit insane tho. Also, fun fact, when I started the podcast I was having trouble picturing Jon so I looked at a picture of Jonny and immediately went "...no. he doesnt look like that"

Alexander J Newall as Martin Blackwood: 0/10. Alex is an evil little man and you can tell by looking at him. Even without the suit, there's malice in those eyes. He is neither gentle nor a giant. Just an all around unpleasant experience, not a Martin!!

Alexander J Newall as Jared Hopworth: -10000/10. No explanation needed

Mike LeBeau as Tim Stoker: 9/10. Im pretty sure he is actually s1 Tim. He's very charming and good looking and just generally has the right personality. Season 3 is harder but I bet he has the range physically too!

Lottie Broomhall as Sasha James: 7/10. She looks very sweet and nerdy! Shed be a good fit. Not like shes around for long anyway...

Evelyn Hewett as Not-Sasha: 5/10. She also looks very sweet!!! Which is the problem!!! I dont think shes creepy enough... but that might actually make it more creepy?? Idk man, take a half rating

Ben Meredith as Elias Bouchard/Jonah Magnus: 4/10. Hes just not scary! Not to mention too young. However he gets points because it would be absolutely hilarious

Lydia Nicholas as Melanie King: 8/10. Something in their face just says "Im a nice person but I could kill you if I wanted to." I think she would really pull off the woman slowly losing her mind look

Hannah Brankin as Jane Prentiss: 7/10. I mean. Shes gonna be covered in worms anyway. Anyone will look terrifying with good enough sfx

Hannah Brankin as Rosie Zampano: 4/10. She looks very sweet but I feel like Rosie has this very specific vibe of well concealed yet visible rage that Hannah just doesnt have. Plus I imagine her being a bit older

Frank Voss as Basira Hussain: 5/10. Theyre too sweet! Basira is very serious and I just dont think I could be intimidated by Frank. They could definitely do the more emotional moments but they just dont look like they would hold someone at gunpoint!

Imogen Harris as Helen Richardson: 4/10. Similar situation to Not-Sasha. She doesnt look unhinged at all but the lack of unhinged energy might actually be creepier? -1 point for not having ringlets. Idk why I just cant imagine Helen without ringlets

Luke Booys as Michael Shelley: 15/10. Just put a wig on him and tip to toe that is a Michael! He has the perfect energy. Theres just something in those eyes that says "I have seen madness beyond your comprehension and I have become a part of that madness." I think hes an avatar of the Spiral irl based solely on his face. He doesnt even fit the canon description but hes just so perfect you cant cast anyone else

Fay Roberts as Daisy Tonner: 10/10. Ze looks very graceful and gentle yet also like ze can and will kill you which is the exact energy I get from Daisy. And their hair is so perfect for her too!! Like yeah thats Daisy!!

Carrie Cohen as Mary Keay: 10/10. Shes got the unhinged old woman energy down to a SCIENCE!! She is TERRIFYING!! Good for her!!

Sasha Sienna as Georgie Barker: 6/10. He looks very sweet, very strong cat mom energy but the problem is they just look too innocent. No offense but I just dont see death in her eyes

Guy Kelly as Mike Crew: 8/10. He looks pretty much exactly how I imagined Mike but I dont think hes tiny enough. Hes gotta be a real short king

Jessica Law as Nikola Orsinov: 11/10. Youre not allowed to cast anyone else!! Shes perfect!! Like Nikola doesnt even have a face but if she did thats what it would look like. There is a reason she gets typecast as a sentient human shaped object and its because she slays it both vocally and physically!!

Lowri Ann Davies as Lynne Hammond/Celia: 8/10. Im just enjoying imagining her in a cult

Francesca Renee Reid as Julia Montauk: 10/10. My only justification for this is that I am gay for both of them

Ian Hayles as Trevor Herbert: 8/10. Needs a little more chaotic bastard energy but nothing a little makeup cant help. Give him a more fucked up beard and put some dirt and blood on him. Thats Trevor!

Jon Gracey as Gerard Keay: 2/10. Hes Not Even Goth. Like I know you could just dress him up goth but its just not the same! We need an authentic goth actor for accurate goth representation! Points for being a weird nerd tho

Alasdair Stuart as Peter Lukas: 7/10. Alasdair is way too wholesome for Peter and I dont think I could be intimidated by him or see him as pathetic. HOWEVER I am giving him a bunch of extra points because I simply thinks he deserves to play Peter in live action. Alasdair is the OG Peter kinnie and who am I to deny him that right?

Russell A. Smith as Oliver Banks: 9/10. He looks so nice and handsome! Yet also a little depressed at the same time! Give him some dark circles under his eyes, and yep, he's Oliver!

Helen Gould as Laverne: 10/10. Theyre such a comforting presence. She could totally be a therapist. I would tell him all of my problems

Layla Mannings as Manuela Dominguez: 5/10. Shes too adorable! She doesnt look like someone who would try to extinguish the sun!

John Henry Falle as Arthur Nolan: 2/10. He definitely looks insane but not in a landlord kinda way ya know? He looks like he would commit arson but not like he would be a class traitor

Karim Kronfli as Simon Fairchild: 0/10. Hes like 50 tops. Simon is like 500 and appears 100. We need a man whos fucking decaying

Richard Soames as Eric Delano: 1/10. This Dude Is Like Thirty

Chioma Nwalioba as Annabelle Cane: 9/10. Shes adorable!! And I think Annabelle is adorable too!! She would look great in some vintage clothes. I would tell her all of my secrets I dont care if she would use them against me <3 I cant imagine her as a giant spider tho but Im sure she has the range

Ray Chong Nee as Mikaele Salesa: 10/10. He really does look like he would sell people cursed shit, he just has that eccentric vibe. Seems like hes a big dude too. Definitely the kind of guy to dramatically play the piano to reveal he was alive all along

Mabel Syrup as Dr. Jane Doe: 10/10. Looked at her instagram for ten seconds and nearly went insane. My brain cant process any of this. Thats the kind of vibes we need. Good for her

Anil Godigamuwe as Arun: 10/10. I literally just imagined him as Anil the entire time. I cant separate the actor from the character

Tim Ledsam as Jordan Kennedy: 10/10 but only if he wears the Gunpowder Tim getup and this is never addressed

[gentlemancrow]

14: “I’m screwed” shippy JMart :) 💚

Ehehe this one got away from me a little bit! But ask for shippy Jmart get a gushy mooshy Crow! Please enjoy! ; w ;

“I’m screwed…”

Martin watched helplessly through the slats of the yellowed blinds on Jon’s office window as his entire life went up in flames. He dimly recalled some trite old saying about seeing one’s life flash before one’s eyes before the moment of unceremonious besmirching from the cruel mortal coil, but for him it was more of a hysterical repeated rewinding of every single bumbling misstep that had orchestrated his imminent demise.

From the moment he decided he had just enough time before work to pop into the Tesco for the usual bouquet of flowers for his visit to his mother later in the day, to the snap decision to get the one made of tulips, bright crimson, orange, and yellow like a flame, rather than the usual white lilies, all the way up to entering the institute, Elias stuffing a file for Jon in his already laden arms, and then the chaos that had erupted as he attempted to deliver it, he lived it all over again. First there was something about the kettle being on the fritz, and obviously since he used it the most frequently, clearly he knew how to repair errant electronic kitchen devices. He was halfway through chastising Tim for false equivalencies in his logic when Sasha had breezed past and asked for a report he’d supposed to be finished with the day prior, and somewhere in the snarking with Tim and the flailing over his dereliction of duty the flowers had been abandoned on Jon’s desk and the file tucked under his arm instead.

By the time Martin realized he was missing something bulky and crinkly and fragrant it was too late. Jon was already in his office, tatty messenger bag still looped around his chest, forgotten, staring at the fiery bouquet on his desk with the scientific method scrolling visibly through his pupils as he regarded it like a corpse on an autopsy table, hand in a fist with his thumb pressed to his lips. Martin had never wished harder for some sort of horrific creature of the darkness to strike the institute again and just devour him whole this time to put him out of his misery.

“You’re what, mate?” Tim’s adjacent query only intensified that desire.

“Tim! SHUSH!” he squeaked, grabbing his friend by the shoulders and hauling him out of the line of sight from the office window.

“Easy there, big guy!” he laughed, “What’s all the hullabaloo?”

“I’m SCREWED. Big time,” Martin moaned, burying his face, which had been bright scarlet since the moment his hubris had roosted, into his hands, “See those flowers in there? I bought those for my usual trip to see my mum this afternoon but somehow between you being an idiot and me also being an idiot and forgetting to finish that report I sort of… left them there… by accident…”

Jon, meanwhile, had finally set his bag down and had circled his desk like a vulture. He reached out with delicate fingers like forceps and pinched the very edge of the card to inspect it, which, unfortunately, only added to the mystery with its coquettish blankness, as Martin had yet to fill it in. Tim watched, nonplussed.

“So? What’s the big deal about that? Just go explain it to him and I’m sure he… Oh. OH,” he cackled as realization dawned on him, “Yeah, nope you’re screwed.”

“Thanks…”

“Ahh, don’t sweat it. The man’s so thick I’m sure he thinks it’s just a prank or some continued spooky attempt on his life or something. The absolute last thing he would think would be that you of all people would…” Tim stopped himself in the withering blue glare blazing at him from behind round spectacles, “Anyway, again, this is Jon we’re talking about. He’ll just treat it like some weird cosmic mystery until he burns himself out on it or the next one shows up.”

“Y-Yeah but-“

“Just go explain! Unless you want to watch him wriggle about it like a fish on a hook all day. Which I am diametrically unopposed to, by the way, sounds absolutely hilarious.”

Martin winced, hating the idea of being the missing chunk of code that caused Jon’s brain to glitch for the remainder of the day, and sucked in a breath between his teeth.

“No, no you’re right,” he sighed, “Just… no flowers at my funeral if he kills me, okay?”

“Kate Bush songs only, got it, yep.”

Martin rolled his eyes, not dignifying that with a response, and shuffled on mechanical feet to the closed door of Jon’s office. He rapped lightly a few times before pushing his way in, smiling sheepishly at the head archivist who had clearly just unceremoniously flung himself in front of the mysterious bouquet to hide it from view.

“Martin!” he barked, “What in the hell are you-“

“Uh, just needed to talk to you for a second.”

He closed the door behind him

“Oh, uh… about wh-“

“About those, actually,” Martin confessed through his teeth, pointing, mortified, at the coy spray of flaming tulips peeking out from behind Jon’s hip.

He whipped around to look at them, then back to his assistant, then back to the flowers again, the blush that only ever seemed to find the tips of his ears glowing like two carmine rosebuds there.

“…You?”

That unreadable earthy brown gaze, somewhere between wilting regency heroine and venomous snake ready to strike with fangs bared, harpooned Martin directly to the heart.

“No! God no! S-Sorry!” he yelped, flailing his hands defensively in the air, “I-I mean they are mine, yes, b-but I-! Th-They’re for my mum! I-I try to visit her in her care home if I can on Fridays, and I always bring her some flowers! I was supposed to be dropping off a file for you, but then Tim was hounding me about the broken kettle and Sasha needed that damned report and I was all mixed up and I… I forgot them here. On your desk. Your desk of all places. I still have the file and um… T-Trade you? Hah…”

Jon’s finely sculpted brow shifted from pinched, to bemused, to a strange, sorrowful relief as Martin finished lamely in falsetto and he chuckled under his breath.

“Ah… right. Right! I thought for a second someone might have um…” he snorted breathlessly, “Hah, I knew that was a preposterous notion.”

The metaphysical harpoon still in Martin’s chest shattered in icy shards of anguish as his heart collapsed under the weight of itself.

“Wh- Jon, is it really that preposterous a notion someone might want to bring you flowers?” he asked, crushed.

Jon flourished a flippant, elegant hand.

“Come on Martin, this is me we’re talking about. I’ve never gotten flowers once in my life. I’m not the kind of person people think to buy flowers for. It’s not a big deal.”

“Well then let me be the first!” Martin insisted, his mouth and heart moving in tandem before his brain could stop them.

Jon’s brow creased again.

“What? Good lord no, I’m not going to take the flowers you bought for your mother. Who is also in a care home, mind.”

“I’d much rather give them to you.”

The skeptical expression marring Jon’s face did little to hide the blush flourishing at the tips of his ears again.

“Look. We’re friends now, aren’t we?” Martin elaborated shyly, “Friends can send each other flowers. And honestly? My mum doesn’t even like them… no matter what kind I bring. They usually end up being for her nurse instead. So I… I think they’ll have a much better home with you.”

A tiny smile quirked the corner of Jon’s mouth, snipping an invisible thread that softened his entire face into something innocent and full of wonder.

“I see. If you’re sure, I suppose I could…”

“I’m very sure,” Martin replied without hesitation, “Just tell people an old friend sent them out of the blue, or you have a secret admirer or something!”

“Well I don’t know about all that, but-” Jon chuckled, smiling softly, “Thank you. Just the same.”

Martin looked up, just for a moment, and met Jon’s gaze, letting the piercing erudite wood of it lay bare his fluttering heart.

“You’re welcome…”

Jon shifted in the beat of ensuing silence, his eyes flicking away from sky blue radiance to shift his shoulders back into a professional square.

“You uh, said you had a file for me?”

“Oh! Yes! Right! I-I will go fetch that file for you indeed and uh-! Oh yeah! Make sure you snip off the ends of the stems a bit before you put them in water. Helps them last longer,” Martin offered, snapping out of his enchantment and already slinking backwards to the door, “Oh and also! When they start to go, I’ll show you how to press one in a book, so you can keep it, if you like!”

“I’d like that very much, actually.”

Martin smiled, nodded, and saluted awkwardly as he escaped Jon’s office and closed the door behind, leaving him in private to wait until he was sure no one would see. Once he was certain, he preciously gathered the tulips into his hands and brought them to his nose, breathing in the field bright scent of his very first bouquet from a secret admirer.

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

AU where Dekker is living in the tunnels instead of Leitner.

Ask Game: send me an au and i’ll give you 5+ headcanons about it

1. dekker gets tapped in to help destroy the archives. leitner is killed with gertrude and elias THINKS he offed Dekker too but dekker survived and he'll lose his element of surprise if the eye sees him leave the tunnels so he's like "i guess i live here now" and stays.

2. the thing is that fundamentally dekker is extremely productive and fundamentally jon is shaped like a kidnapping victim. Dekker kidnaps him within the first five episodes of season 1.

3. now dekker has a roommate. jon does not want to be his roommate.

4. look the thing is dekker isn't going to let this poor schmuck get his soul stolen by the eye just because he objects to a little kidnapping. jon will get over it. please stop protesting they must plan their next steps.

5. jon does not want to plan his next steps. jon wants to fucking go. jon has little upper body strength to speak of and is bad at untying knots and dekker has a lot of upper body strength and is good at tying knots so none of jon's escape attempts are helpful. dekker treats this like a roommate dispute and jon treats this like a fucking kidnapping.

6. the thing is the tunnels are big and dekker has a lot of rope he doesn't see why he can't just indefinitely kidnap every head archivist until he figures out his next step

7. elias doesn't appoint another head archivist. he needs the fucking other one back. he will never get another one marked by the web the web doesn't let anything happen without it deigning to do so. its not going to give him another fucking web marked archivist when he went and lost the first one. who fucking took him simon if this is your idea of a joke--

8. tim is obsessed with getting jon back because jon is a good friend and also the same age his brother would have been and was acting really weird the days leading up. like he was paranoid and getting weird about the tapes that wouldn't record and tim was pissed that jon got the promotion and sasha didn't so he brushed it off and now jon's fucking missing in a spooky fashion and he will never forgive himself if jon dies just like danny did. he just has a lot of old trauma being dredged up by this. he has sasha and martin helping him run ragged looking for jon all over london. jon, meanwhile, is below the fucking institute trying to explain to dekker that they are not roommates, this is a kidnapping.

9. michael finds all of this hilarious and is just. not interfering. this is a telenovela for him. he is moisturized,,, thriving,,,, in his lane,,,,

[awellboiledicicle]

The side effect of how I've made the Magnus craft au work, is that it's both a fix it and "nobody died if they're not still dead".

Sure Gerry remembers dying, and the headaches he ignored because he thought he was just reacting weird to his painkillers. And Sasha remembers the physical agony of being subsumed out of reality, her body consumed unnaturally. And Tim remembers little, because the blast knocked him out before the fire and debris got him. And yeah Danny remembers living for about 15 mins after being skinned in one violent motion, awareness coming back just in time to learn what it feels like for muscle to feel air and bleed.

But!

They're fine now. It's fine.

Gerry's vibing in Lags house, doing commission work bc villagers love his fluid art style. Sasha woke up in a forest and got adopted by a librarian that likes tea. Danny wandered out of a small cave and found a village, was instantly charmed, and then promptly hunted a pillager patrol for sport bc they pissed him off. Tim wakes up in a field of flowers and reunites with Danny via him galloping up on a horse like "Bro!!!!"

Gerry is why Lag keeps trying to smile at ppl, bc he thinks it looks hilarious. The only other person to go with her smiling is Danny, and that's mostly because he knows shes nice. This basically means everyone else meeting her gets unnerved. Except Jon, who just says its unnerving. And explains why.

Thay said shes convinced hes the politest one of them, because hes done the slow blink out of habit and she just. "FINALLY, a builder with manners." It more means you're calm talking to someone to her, but it works.

Tim just sees her coming one day and goes "Daniel Stoker that is a fucking lion."

Sasha figures it's on par with the villagers, honestly.

[dickwheelie]

@coulson-is-an-avenger thank you sm for the jonsasha prompt!! sorry this took so long but here's a fic about jon and sasha brushin each other's hair :) with a bonus gender discussion(tm)

___________

Jon leaned back against Sasha's legs where she sat on the sofa above him, feeling her gently tug his braid loose, his hair tumbling into her lap as she began to comb through it. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting himself relax.

"I've always been jealous of your hair," Sasha said, as she started brushing it out. "So long and lustrous . . ."

"Hah!" Jon barked out a laugh. "Lustrous is not a word I'd use to describe anything about myself."

"You don't give yourself enough credit. Maybe your skin needs work, but your hair is doing fine."

"Oh, well, thank you," Jon said. "Wait, my skin needs--?"

"Why do you keep your hair long, anyway?" Sasha went on. "I mean, it looks good, but you don't seem the type."

Jon snorted. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing," Sasha said cheerily. "Just, you know, the whole male academic persona." Out of the corner of his eye, Jon saw her hand wave theatrically at the words. "You dress and act so straight-laced at work, I guess I'm just surprised your hair didn't go along with it."

Jon worried at the hem of his cardigan. The soft, casual cardigan he'd worn to Sasha's flat because it was his day off, and he didn't have to dress in stuffy, professional clothing so nobody would figure out he was a fraud who didn't belong in a head archivist position. "I just always liked keeping it long," he said. "Couldn't tell you why. Just feels nice, I guess."

"You know," Sasha said pointedly, "I used to want to keep my hair long for reasons I couldn't explain, either."

"I--" Jon began to protest, then closed his mouth and tried again. "I . . . I've thought about it. Believe me, I've--" He laughed humorlessly. "I have thought about it. But I'm sure I'm cis. I-I mean, by now, I'd know otherwise. Right?"

Sasha hummed as she tugged at a stubborn tangle. "Not necessarily. I've met lots of people who didn't know they were trans until they were in their forties, or older."

"W-Well," Jon said, and then didn't know what else to say. For a moment, he just sat there, losing himself in Sasha's steady pulls of the brush, the feeling of her hands running through his hair. "I mean," he said eventually, "I'm not a woman. I know that much."

"Okay," Sasha said, and was quiet. Jon recognized her "letting him talk it out" voice.

"And I'm not uncomfortable with being a man." Jon sighed. He hadn't been prepared for this conversation, and he didn't feel like digging too far into it. "Maybe I'm just a man who likes having long hair. What's wrong with that."

"Absolutely nothing," Sasha said, and he felt her press her lips to the top of his head before returning to the brush. "I think it's handsome."

"Ah. Thank you," Jon said, with a twitch of a smile.

Soon Sasha had finished with his hair and tied it back up in its braid, and they swapped places. Jon could accept Sasha's compliments about his hair's lustrousness, or whatever, but faced with her dark curls he didn't understand how she could ever be jealous of his hair, or anyone else's, for that matter. Sasha's hair was so . . . he didn't even know, he just loved it. It wasn't quite as long as his, but it was a beautiful, rich dark color, almost black but not quite. The texture as he ran his hands through it felt astonishingly nice; he was reminded of the stim toys he used to play with when he was younger.

Sasha's hair didn't need brushing out like his did, so instead he just evened out the center part and ran through it with a comb. He spent the majority of the time carding his hands through it, careful not to tug on the strands. Sasha leaned warmly against him, her back up against his calves, her legs splayed out comfortably in front of her. Her head was tilted up at him and her eyes were closed, with a peaceful look on her face.

"How long did it take you," Sasha said at one point, her voice low and relaxed. "To grow your hair out."

Jon had to think a moment. "Last time I had it cut was . . . almost two years ago, now. I remember because I'd just gotten an interview for the researcher job and I wanted to look . . . presentable. Male academic persona, and all that."

Sasha laughed. "Right."

"Before that it was pretty long, past my shoulders. That was how I kept it at uni too. This is the longest it's ever been, though," Jon said, as he tugged at a strand of his own hair absentmindedly. "I guess the Institute's kept me so busy I forgot to get it cut again."

"Well, if you like it that way, why waste the money?" Sasha said, quite reasonably. "Besides, I stand by what I said. Your hair's a gift, don't waste it by cutting it off." She reached above her head and waved a finger at him. "Unless you want to. Don't let me tell you what to do. God knows I know a thing or two about other people telling me what to do with my hair."

Jon laughed. "I won't. I want to keep it long, anyway." He was glad Sasha liked his hair like this. Georgie had been the same way, encouraging Jon not to cut it. He'd had friends in the past express confusion about his hair, but he'd gotten pretty skilled at ignoring them. It took a job interview, apparently, to change his mind. Jon wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that.

Well, no, that wasn't true. Bad, that was how he felt. Walking around those first few months in research with his hair cropped short, wearing those stuffy outfits . . . he'd never felt more like an imposter. The day he realized his hair had finally grown back past his shoulders had been a very, very good day.

His work clothes hadn't really changed, and his persona hadn't gotten easier to play, but now he had his hair, and his nails, and even the occasional earring studs he'd wear, if he was feeling brave.

And Sasha. And Tim. He had them, too, and they were two very good people to have in one's corner.

Impulsively, he reached down and gave Sasha a hug around her shoulders. It was a bit of an awkward angle, and he had to lay his cheek on the top of her head, but she reached up to hug him back anyway.

"What's this for?" Sasha said, but she didn't let go.

"I don't know," Jon said softly. "I love you, that's all."

"Well, if that's all," Sasha said. She gave him a few pats on the arm, as well as she could reach. "Don't mess up my hair, now, or you'll have to comb it again."

"Oh, no," Jon intoned, "what a horrible fate."

"You're not funny, Sims."

"I'm hilarious."

Sasha grabbed his hand and kissed the back of it, which Jon suspected was a last-ditch effort to derail the conversation by flustering him. It worked extremely well. Jon busied himself by going back to her hair, and it was a few minutes later before either of them spoke again.

"I love you too, you know," Sasha said at length. "I know I don't say it a lot, but I do."

"It's okay," Jon said, and it really, really was. He knew Sasha couldn't see the wide smile that had just appeared on his face, but he liked to think she could hear it in his voice. "I know you do."

[r0sebutch]

tma is an office comedy where no one dies compilation original post 1:

elias is corporate. he checks in on the archives randomly whenever he feels like it. he likes to spook tim because whenever he manages it tim makes this really high pitched squeak and elias thinks its fucking HILARIOUS

jon is technically their boss but only in title. he gives them tasks and they go “sure uh huh” and then dont do them. martin is the only assistant who does any work

mid season 1 jane prentiss pops up and starts Worming but tim just sprays her with pesticide and shes like “rude?” and hes like “well then stop scaring my friends” and shes like “fair”

they make a chore wheel after tim comes in early one day to find martin there, tidying and doing dishes and taking out the trash. he asks why martins there and he explains that elias doesnt hire cleaners for the archives so one of them has to do it!

tim: “martin. how long have you been cleaning the archives without telling us.”

martin: “...... not that long.”

tim: “how long.”

martin: “......the whole time weve been working here. well except the first week, i still thought there were cleaners then”

tim tells sasha, who makes a chore wheel. martin is not on the chore wheel. he tries to do some of the work anyways and tim puts him in time out

melanie is Very Mean to jon. martin is like “hey stop that dont b mean to him >:(“ and melanie is like “dude. was that meant to be scary”

she bullies jon in a friendly way but martin is still >:( and tim and sasha are just laughing in the background.

sasha goes out of town for a week and her cousin pretends to be her in her stead. only melanie notices. when sasha comes back melanie is just cackling as tim looks betrayed and martin apologizes frantically

jon just walks past like “oh. sasha. good to have you back, could you get the follow up on statement #0040501 completed?” and tim is like “you KNEW???” and jons like “...knew what?” and dips

melanie starts a tally of cops seduced by tim. by the time he realizes shes keeping score hes just accepted this gjdhdj

when basira starts tim INSTANTLY makes jokes abt her and jon having an office romance bc they keep having meetings. hes trying to get martin to make his move.

martin’s jealousy vs. martin’s shyness: fight

basira is like “what? no? why?” and jons like “no? why? what?” and tim and melanie are just cackling

office pranks!!! melanie pays everyone in the office to call tim “tom” for the whole day. as revenge, tim replaces melanie’s phone with a kid’s toy phone when she isn’t looking. it takes her an embarrasingly long time to notice.

sasha gets annoyed by them doing too many pranks so before anyone gets to the office she fully swaps tim and melanies desks. item for item, exact placement and everything. they both think the other one did it and it starts a full on war, which is the exact opposite of what sasha wanted to happen, but c’est la vie

[irradiatedsnakes]

my personal takes:

sasha and tim r like, the most furry of the archives crew. it’s a minor hobby for them, they go to the occasional con together, maybe once every year or two. w/ tim’s sewing skills and sasha’s tech skills they made personal suits for themselves. tim’s fursona is a coyote. mostly browns with maybe one bright accent color, maybe purple. his suit’s a toony partial with 3d eyes. it’s well made but not extravagant. sasha’s fursona is an illegal primagen. her suit is a snazzy as hell partial, proper led screen face/cheek/forehead panels, led’s all in the claws and down the tail. high tech as shit

martin’s a furry but he’s like, kind of embarrassed about it. doesn’t do any irl furry stuff but he’s got a fursona and lurks on some furry communities. his fursona’s something not super out there, it’s something fluffy and cute. probably some blues and yellows for colors.

im kind of split on what i think for jon. my original thought was that he’s not a furry and doesn;t really know anything about it but he’s not like, bothered by it or anything, find it kind of fun if introduced. isnt a furry but has the potential to be. but then @transmikecrew brought up the hilarious galaxy brain idea of he’s super anti-furry but specifically because he was a huge furry in college. “that time he was riding a carosel at the london zoo? full fursuit baybee“. his college fursona was a sparklecat

georgie’s a furry, pretty big into it. her fursona is a Ghost Cat (ghost sona was @camofrogadier’s spectacular idea) and she’s got a suit- toony digigrade fullsuit, i feel like. got it with all that Sock Ad Cash. it’s got little X’s for pupils. no techy stuff, just good ol traditional foam-base fursuit. very cute, ultra huggable, con crowd favorite.

melanie was Not a furry til she and georgie started dating (high fives @justletmeremember same brain cell). she’s introduced via georgie (like, melanie’s an internet persona, she already knew about furries obviously, just never gave them a closer look) and now’s kinda into it. she doesn’t have a suit but her fursona’s a skull dino (like yours truly)

jesus christ its past midnight