#sarah............. you didnt deserve that man................

[pulchrasilva]

Thinking about how being held can both be a comfort, affectionate and also a restraint, freedom withheld from you. Thinking about "she doesn't love you Sarah. She cant. She can't love what she fears"

[a-strange-familiar]

please give us part 2 with happy ending 😫😫😭😭😭😭

Better man -2

A/n : I know you guys hate me, but guess what. Jokes on you cause I hate myself too. I'm sorry I took forever to write this. I know, I'm sorry. As I said my life is shitty rn so I stuck to just reading for a while and I didn't want to write with a wrong state of mind. But I'm back, here is your promised part 2 of Better man.

Warnings : Angst, alcohol mention, lil swearing.

Summary : Harry is a typical asshole rockstar and Y/n is naive and in love with him.

(I'm sorry again for the late. I love you all. Thank you sticking with me.) Part - 1. ( read part 1 before )

-- 6 months later --

This love is a fucking shit show. You fall in love with someone and literally fall, you'll fall and crash, and break your bones but nothing hurts. No matter how toxic the other person is or how shitty they treat you, you will be in that high and can't even feel any of those things. But when you come out of that high, when you start to see the real colours of that person then you will realise the pain. The aftermath is horrible.

After that night when Y/n ended things with Harry she felt numb for few days. She didn't feel anything for a while, she cried that night but later nothing for few days.

But after a week it hit her like a train. Everything, all the things they did, all the memories they had, everything made her cry. She cried and cried and cried until she felt there are no tears left in her anymore.

She was broken, she still didn't understand why she was not enough for him. She still didn't understand why is it that hard for him to love her back. But everything is over so she tried to get over him, she did everything to stop thinking about him.

She gave him her world and he shattered that world into pieces. Obviously it's hard to get over it. She took time but she did it. She changed.

She is over him now.

It's been months, few hard months but she is strong, stronger than ever before. Yes, there were days when she drove around the city and parked her car at some random parking lot and cried there alone in one of his old t-shirts he left at hers because every place reminded him, her house, her balcony, her bedroom, her favorite coffee shop.

But as the time goes by she started to understand that she deserves better than him and she just can't sit and cry for someone who don't even give a single fuck about her.

Eva, her best friend was her biggest support in this process. She made sure Y/n is doing well, she is like sister to Y/n that she never had. Eva used drop by at midnights to check on Y/n. Y/n will be forever thankful for her. She was soo lucky to have her in her life. And Eva never said anything like 'told you so'. Y/n know that she was upset but she understood and Y/n was glad that she did.

And even Sarah understood everything, she made sure Y/n was ok. She couldn't take sides because Harry is also her friend and her boss. But she understood where they both were coming from. She couldn't do more than just consoling them. And Y/n understood.

Now she is healed. She became a better version of her self. She stopped depending on others for her happiness. She started loving herself, which a very big change. She stopped checking about him on social medias or asking about him, trying to know about him.

But it's not completely possible to forget him like that, she still remembered him time to time. After all she loved him with her entire soul. But she made sure that it doesn't break her anymore. But a small part of her heart still beats for him.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

While Y/n is healing and getting better Harry is breaking and getting worse.

He left her house that night after staring at her closed bedroom door for a while. He never understood why he didnt say anything. He just left.

For a while he didn't understand why it's hurting him.

He didn't love her or anything, so why is does it feel like some thing or someone is breaking inside ?

He spent many nights thinking about her. About what she might be doing at that particular moment, is she still crying? Or did she finally realised that he is an asshole and forgot him.

He knew he hurt her, but he can't help it. He didn't do that on purpose. He could never do it on purpose. Yes he was a dick to her. But he was afraid, afraid that he might hurt her and himself. His life is a shit show, everyone he meet will be in public's eye. People will make their life hell. He didn't want that to happen to Y/n.

That's one of the reasons. But the main reason was, he was afraid of love. He was afraid of commitment. His past relationships taught him a lot and he was afraid. And Y/n is an angel, she don't deserve him so he kept telling himself that it's not worth it. That he will make their both lives hell. So he just kept doing what they were doing.

You know that feeling? when you find a person who is a walking green flag. But you become a walking red flag because of your past relationships. That's what happened to Harry. They turned him into an asshole, so he stopped thinking about others and became selfish.

But nothing gives an explanation to why he hurt Y/n. He knew that too. He can't give a perfect reason why he hurt her, broke her. He could have left her the moment she told him her feelings but he didn't, he just pretended that nothing happened. A part of him didn't want to leave her.

There were days when he used to sit and wonder why he was such an ass to her.

"Am I that hard to love, Harry ?"

Her words used ring in his eras, he still remembered her eyes when she asked him that. The pain in them, the hurt. He literally used to beat himself whenever he remembered that expression. Thinking why couldn't he answer her at that moment?

He used to drink until he blacked out. He used to drink and sit and cry like a baby in his room. He felt like his heart was breaking into small pieces and he could feel every piece breaking.

He used to cry thinking about her. Tears running down his face, he couldn't figure out why ? He used lock himself in his room and sob thinking about her. Her memories used to kill him. He used to behave like a zombie and it scared everyone. He started to zone out at work, he started skip his studio sessions and spent his time alone thinking about her.

And he finally understood that he love her. He always did, but refused to belive it.

The moment he saw her sitting alone in that party while everyone are drinking and having fun he knew that she is different. As cliché as it sounds he just felt it.

And in the process of getting to know her he like her, a lot. But he never said that to her, they were going casual and he wanted to keep it that way. He tried to be as distant ad possible, he ignored her on purpose. He know if he didn't he will fuck up and fall in love with her. But he did anyways. But now it's too late, he can't do anything other than sit and cry.

He tried to get into contact with her but she blocked him everywhere which he expected and deserved. He used to ask Sarah about her but she said nothing which he also understood.

He was at his worst, he still is after months. He still didn't forget her. He know he can't, she everywhere. He started to see her in every person, no girl is as perfect as her. No one can be a comparison. He wished that he said that to her. Said how much she means to him, how much he love her, how much he adore her. But didn't and now he can't. He don't even know whether she will for give him or not.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been months since he actually had fun. He stopped hanging out with his friends and going out a lot. He stopped hooking up with girls, he pretty much stopped everything. And his friend are worried about him because he is not himself so they forced him to go out today.

So here he is, sitting in the bar and pretending to listen to the conversation happening around and sipping on his drink. He could have done this at his house too.

Thats when he saw Eva. He know Eva, he met her a couple of times. She is Y/n's best friend and he also know that she is not a very big fan of him.

She is taking with a blonde guy at the other side of the bar, he swiftly checked if Y/n was here too. But for his disappointment she is not. Eva is alone with that guy.

He contemplated on going to her and talking. It's been months and he don't know how Y/n is doing, and he wanted to knoe very badly. But most probably Eva will not talk to him.

He saw that blonde guy wishpered something and leave. Harry thought it's the right time, if he hesitate now he may never get a chance to know about Y/n. So he excused himself from his friends and his way towards Eva.

"Eva." He called her with a hesitant voice.

She turned and looked at him. She had this unpleasant look on her face which is Harry is not used to, but he know that he deserves it.

"Umm... hi. How are you ? "

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Harry? " her tone is uninterested.

"I - I just wanted to say hi." He scratched back of his neck, he is uncomfortable.

"I'm not interested in small talk with you. So if you don't mind." She started to leave.

"Wait" he said in a hurry.

"I just wanted to talk for a minute."

"What do you wanna talk about Harry ? About Y/n ?" She asked in a mocking way.

"Umm. Ye - yes. I just want to know how is she doing ?"

She scoffed "Are you for real?"

He sighed "Look , Eva I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted this to happen this way. I know I'm a dick. I don't deserve her"

"Yes, you really don't." She interrupted him

"I know. But I don't.. I can't get her out of my mind. I just - I just I feel like ... it's killing me. "

She was silent for a moment.

"Look I just wanted know about her, how is she ?"

"Oh she is very happy ,Harry thank you for your concern." She said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what ? For hurting and breaking her heart while you were enjoying with other girls?"

He closed his eyes. Everything hurts, listening to her say those things out hurts even more.

"I know." His voice is shaky. He is on the verge of crying. But he can't.

"Harry, I don't know why you didn't love her, I don't even wanna know. But atleast you could have left before everything went to south. She don't deserve this. You have no idea how much of dick you are." Her anger towards him, and her concern and love towards Y/n is clearly visible in her eyes and voice. And he is kinda happy that Y/n have a friend like Eva.

"I know I ruined her. Bu-"

She cut him with a laugh. A real laugh like he said something funny.

"Ruined her ?" She scoffed.

"You might hurt her or break her heart but you can never ruin or destroy her. She is stronger than you think. Maybe she is an idiot to love someone like you but not weak. No one can ruin her , not even you."

He know that. He know she is strong. He know that his Y/n is stronger than anyone else.

It's silent between them for a minute.

"I need to go." She said and started walking away but stopped after taking a step.

"She doing fine without you. So please don't bother her anymore. " With that she walked away leaving him alone.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been two weeks since he talked to Eva. She said Y/n is fine. He is happy to hear that, that's all he want. But he is not sure about trying to not to reach her. He actually tried to many times in all these months but never dared to directly meet her. He also went to her house many times but came back without knocking on the door. He was afraid.

Right now he is sitting in Y/n's favorite cafe. It's one of Y/n's most favorite places. They came here together once. It's a beautiful place, it's really cozy. It's have a welcoming atmosphere and ambience. The rich aroma of coffee hitting his nose and the small chattering of people making him feel better.

He sat at the very end of the cafe. With his coffee infront of him. He came here hoping that he would see her. It's not the first time, he came here many times before to see her but never did. He thought maybe she stopped coming here or he didn't catch her at right time.

He was in his thoughts when he heard the chime of the bell on the front door. He looked up as an instinct, then he saw her.

He saw Y/n coming inside of the cafe. She is beautiful as always. But definitely different, something is missing, at the same time it feels like she has something new in her.

She is wearing a high waist jeans and a red halter top. Her hair got a bit longer than the last time he saw her and she is smiling.

Oh god he missed her smile.

Seeing her here feels a bit surreal to him. He missed her like hell. He missed her smile, her voice, her touch, everything. He just want to run to her and hug her right now but he know that he can't.

He was so caught up on admiring her that he missed to see that there is a guy walking behind her. She was smiling at him, laughing at something he said.

His chest tightened, he breath hitched.

She was with someone, someone that is making her smile and laugh. Someone who is making her happy.

She looked happy.

That guy was handsome brunette and maybe a couple of inches taller than Harry. He have a sharp jawline and a charming smile. Just in a word he looked soo good. And Harry hated that.

They both sat at the far and of the cafe from Harry but he can see them clearly, he can see her smile the way she is looking at him and the way she is soo concentrated on whatever the hell he is saying.

That's the moment he understood that he lost her. He had her for soo long but he kept pushing her and now he lost her.

It felt like his world is completely crumbling right under his feet and there is nothing he can do.

She is happy, he can tell that much. And that's what he want. He made her sad and hurt her a lot and now he wish nothing but happiness to her even if it's leaving her and stepping aside and letting her go.

This is it.

With a sad smile on his face and tears rolling down his cheeks he got up from his seat and went out of the cafe without a single glance back at her.

.

Meanwhile Y/n didn't know that Harry was in the cafe watching her and left heartbroken. She was busy listening the story the guy in front of her was telling. Noah is telling her about his parents last year's wedding anniversary.

Noah, he is her colleague. He is a very nice guy, handsome and charming. He is a literall dream guy for every girl. The coffee machine in their work place is not working so they just took a break to get some coffee.

He was looking at her with that charming smile and sparkle in his eyes, and she can't help but think about what if she have someone like him in her life, who will understand her and not hurt her. But she couldn't entertain that though for a long time because the minute she think about someone Harry pops up in her brain. His emerald eyes, his beautiful smile. She is over him,yes, but it's not that easy to completely kill the love on him. It'll take time.

"The Coffee here is amazing, thank you for bringing me here, Y/n." Noah said with a sweet smile on his face.

"Your welcome, this is my favorite place. I always come here, it's just soo peaceful here." She smiled at him. She always came here, almost everyday.

He kept looking at her for a while with a smile on his face, she wonderd will he ever stop smiling. His smile is soo beautiful and pleasant it's like a beam of sunshine.

"I'm glad we could get coffee together, but I was wondering would you like to go on a date with me ? Like a real one ?" He asked her with hope in his eyes.

Y/n could feel her heart thumping, she didn't know what to say him. She wanted to go but also she is not quite ready.

"Noah, I- um... I can't. I'm sorry." She said softly.

His smile dropped, she cursed herself for that.

"I'm sorry, I like you. It's not that I don't, I do. But I can't now. "

"Oh. I thought you are single." He said after a beat.

"I am." She said in a kinda sad voice. What is she supposed to say to him? Of course she is single.

Tears are forming in her eyes threatening to fall free, but she can't cry, she won't. She got over crying for him.

It's was silent between them for a bit before Noah spoke again with a soft and gentle tone.

"Did you love him ? "

Y/n looked at his eyes, he have this expression in them that she can't quite describe. His graze was gently and comfortable. He looked at her like he know what she is feeling, he looked at her like he can understand the hurt.

She just nodded head.

He smile again." I don't know what happened or I don't know who the guy was but all I know is that he really hurt you. I can see it in your eyes."

She took a breath and tried to hold her tears, she don't even know why she is crying now. She didn't cry about him in a while, she thought there are no tears left.

"Some thing that my over priced therapy after getting my heart break taught me was 'if you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you will miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. '"

"You are an amazing person, Y/n. Just know that you are worth everything. You should be loved for who you are. Trust me when I say I that I know what you are feeling now. "

After a while they went back to work and Noah never bought up about the date again.

She couldn't help think about Harry for the rest of the day. She restrained herself from thinking about him for soo long, she almost became numb.

She hate him because she still loves him. It's soo hard not to.

He was the one who thaught her how loves feels like, even without himself realising it. He showed how beautiful it is to be loved only but he didn't.

Yes , he ignored her, pushed her but when he is with her he was there, really there for her.

He made her feel like at the top of the world. Not only while having sex, but also when they were alone. He made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the universe while he is with her only to make her feel insecure while he is with others.

That's why she hate him, he made her feel every possible feeling that a human can expirence.

And that's the reason she can't completely let him go. Maybe she is still waiting for the impossible to happen. To feel his love again, real love this time.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been two days since Harry saw Y/n in the coffee shop, and he was miserable again.

It's killing him that he lost her. To see her with someone else.

And he exactly understood how Y/n felt when she saw him with others. How hurt and hopeless she felt . At that time he didn't get it , but now he is feeling the same.

He want nothing more than going back into the time and fix everything and tell her how much he love her. But he can't.

He was in his room when he heard the door opening and closing. And after a minute his bedroom door opened and reveled his mother.

Anne came into the room and looked at his son sitting on his bed like a lifeless body. It broke her heart to see her son in that situation tears blured her vision.

"Harry." She called him.

He looked at her and he couldn't hold it back anymore. He just got up from the bed and rushed towards his mother and hugged her.

She hugged him back and ran her hand through his back in a soothing way. No matter how big and famous his become, he will always be her little boy.

"Aww, love. I'm here, I'm here. You are fine." She rubbed circle on his back.

They both were like that for a while. After he calmed down Anne made him sit on the bed and brought him some water.

She sat beside him with a hand on his.

"What happened, honey ? I knew something was wrong, I could sense it for a while. But I never thought it's this bad. Please tell me what it is ?"

He looked at his mother with his blood shot eyes. His eyes, head everything hurts.

"I fucked up, Mum."

He told Anne everything, from the beginning. How he met her, how he hurt her, and how much he love her. Everything, he didn't miss a single detail.

Anne was silent for few minutes, deciding what to tell her son. She know that he is the one who did wrong here, he messed up and hurt an innocent person.

"People don't know what they have until it's gone, but what about me , mum. I knew what I had, but I did nothing about it. I took her love for granted. What am I supposed to do now ?" He asked his mother hoping atleast she can give him a suggestion.

"Have you atleast tried to talk to her ?"

"No." He shook his head. "I'm afraid, afraid that if I go meet her she will not accept my apology and that will be the last time that I will see her."

"I think it's time that you go and talk to her." She said looking at him in the eyes.

"What?" Harry is confused.

"I think you should go and talk to her. Let her know that you feel guilty and Let her know how you really feel."

She squeezed his hand.

"You messed up, Harry. I love you, you are my son but what you did is absolutely wrong. I didn't raise you like this. If you really love her go to her tell her that you are sorry. Let her curse you, be angry at you but you deserve it, you know you deserve it."

"But what if she don't want to listen to me ?" He asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

"Beg her until she does." She said simply.

"And if she don't forgive me ?" He asked again.

"Mmm. There is a possibility for that. But atleast you will not regret later that you didn't even tried . But I hope that's not the case."

Harry looked down at his feet. His mom is right, he atleast should apologise, he has been a coward and didn't dare to meet her, but now he will.

"And Harry, I don't want to higher your expectations but if she really love you she might even give you a second chance. If she does, make sure that she won't regret trusting you again, be a better man to her."

Anne gave him a motherly smile and pushed back his curls falling on his forehead.

"Go, be a man she deserves."

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

After talking to his mother Harry immediately got into his car and drove to Y/n's place. His nerves were all over the place thinking about all the possible things that can happen.

After a long drive which felt like forever for him he is finally at her place.

He practically sprinted on the steps because he couldn't wait for the elevator and finally he reached her front door.

He took a long breath and knocked on the door and waited but there is no response. He knocked again but there is no movement.

He caught the door Knob and twisted it, the door opened. His silly girl always forgets to lock the doors.

He went inside the house and checked for her.

"Y/n ?" He called but there is no response, he went and checked her bedroom but there is no hint of her.

He returned to the living room, thinking where she might have gone.

He looked around the place again. He found her phone on the coffee table.

She left her phone back, she never leave her phone while she is going out so she might be near. And then it clicked him, he know where she is now.

He closed the door and made his way to the terrace. If she is not in home at this time she definitely will be on terrace. He know how much she like to spend time there.

He got there and looked around to find her. And then he saw her, he could see side of her face. Standing at the corner looking at the moon. Air blowing her hair in an angelic way, moon light and lights from distance made her face glow.

God she is soo beautiful.

He took few steps towards her.

"Y/n." He called her softly.

Her shoulders tensed, but she didn't turn towards him immediately. He can see her taking deep breath from the side angle.

"Love ?" He called again. Now she turned fully towards him.

He took a sharp breath and took in her appearance, she is as beautiful as ever.

"Hi, love." He said hesitantly.

"Hi." She replied without much of and emotion in her voice.

He again took a deep breath and walked two more steps towards her. Luckily she didn't step back.

"I'm getting straight into the point, I already wasted soo much of time and i dont want to any more." He said looking at, and she didn't show any sign of disagreement.

"I'm sorry , love. I really am. I'm an arsehole, a dick, a douche bag. I fucked up, big time. I hurt you. I was soo bad to you. I know , I'm sorry. I regret each and every time I hurt you and I would do anything to make it right. I have been a pussy to come and talk to you all this time. I was afraid so it took me this long." He was rambling at this point. A single tear escaped from his eye.

He took one more step forward ao there is only a little bit of distance between them and fell on his knees in front of her. He bent his head down and wiped his tears and again looked at her. She was also crying, tears are escaping her her eyes too.

"I'm sorry. Im sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted and he let out a soft sob.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't deserve your love. But god knows what I will do to get both of them again." He breathed out.

"It hurts to loose you. I don't want to loose you." He mumbled mostly to himself.

"You had me, Harry. And I was not enough for you." She talked for the first time.

It felt soo good to hear her voice again after soo long. And he loved the way his name sounded with her voice. He missed it.

"I know , baby. I know. I'm an idiot. And please, you were always enough for me, more than enough but I just couldn't gey my head out of my ass." He said.

"I don't if you are ever going to forgive me or of you are ever going to look at me the same like before. But I want to tell you, I don't want be a coward."

Cool air made them both shiver a bit.

"I love you, Y/n."

" You are my everything, I love you with every fiber in my body. You were always enough for me. I love you for yourself, you are no comparison with all those fake models I get along with. They can never be you. And you are always the most beautiful and amazing and loving person. You deserve the world. Sorry that I couldn't give it to you back then. But I will give you anything to you now if you let me." He completed.

She sucked in a breath, he said the three words that she thought that she will never hear from him.

"I shouldn't be telling you this now, you may have moved on, forgot about me and maybe.... and maybe you are with someone else too." Those words came out like poison from his mouth.

"Do you still love me, Y/n ?" He dared to ask , he actually don't want to know the answer but a part of him still hopes that she love him.

She wiped her tears and cleared her throat.

"Get up, Harry." She said with a straight face.

He got up and stood on his feet again. Because of his height he was towering a little bit over her.

"Do you really think I love someone else ?" She questioned him.

"I saw you with a guy two days back in your favorite cafe. You looked happy." He told her and looked down at their feet.

"You were there ?" She furrowed her brows.

He nodded

" He was just my friend." She said and he was relieved a bit with that information.

"You really hurt me, Harry. I hate you for that, but I also love you because... because you were the world to me. But you didn't even gave a fuck about me."

He shook his head. Please, "I'm sorry. Don't say that. It hurts." He pleaded.

"I don't know what to do. I'm afraid Harry. I'm tired. Afraid of getting hurt again and tired of feeling hurt. I don't know."

"Baby." He took her soft hand into his.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I should have said this earlier but I didn't. As I said I will do anything to get you back."

They both were silent thinking about everything.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked her.

She nodded her head.

"I can't rewind our life and go back and fix things but I want to start over everything. Let's start everything again, from the beginning. And this time I'll be a better man for you."

She looked at him on awe.

"Can we start over ? We'll become strangers again, we'll introduce each other again, we'll make fresh memories. Only if you want to. I'll leave of you want me to. But remember one thing even if I leave now I will always love you, forever and I'll be waiting for you."

She is speechless, she don't know what to say. She was supposed to be angry at him but the moment she saw him all the anger just flew away. And the minute he fell on his knees and said her that he love her , she completely lost it. Of course she still love him, of course she still want to give him a second chance, but she is afraid.

"I promise that I'll never break your heart again."

He threaded their fingers together and looked at their hands.

"Tell me, love. Will you let me be a better man for you?" He asked all the sincerity hoping she will say yes.

He is worth of a second chance. She thought.

"Yes." She breathed out and smiled.

His smiled reached his eyes for the first time in a long while.

He hugged her. Really tight to the point where she thought she might loose her breath.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said and kissed her forehead.

She smiled." But let's take it slow, I still need some time."

"Yes take all the time you want, we'll go as slow you prefer. Im fine with it as long as I know that I have you. Just know that I love you, and will never hurt you again. And one more thing, please get used to me saying I love you a lot. Because I'm not stopping anymore."

He took a step back. "Let's start again."

He stretched his hand out for her. Let me introduce myself. "Hi, my name is Harry."

She laughed at him, thinking about the first time they met.

"Hi, Harry. My name is Y/n."

~~~

A/n : well, well, well. Here it is as I promised. Please don't shit at me for the late. I'm not making excuses, but u know why. I'm genuinely sorry.

And , while writing this I reread the 1st part. And I found a shit ton of mistakes and typos, I myself cringed at my work. I'm sorry u guys had to read that shit. But I have my reason. 1. I wrote that whole thing on my phone and I have big thumbs. 2. I blame my autocorrect. I'm sorry, and I hope there are no lot of mistakes here..

~~~

Thank you for reading, hope you likes it.

Please like and comment and reblog.

And please please please share your thoughts and talk to me. Pretty please 🥺

[nigesakis]

ill never understand why people think tom hollands spidey is the best. sure, hes spiderman, but hes not peter parker at all.

they didnt just take plotlines (the tinkerer, tony & the suits, more minor stuff) from miles' comics, they literally took his entire character/personality too and tried to cover it up with some peter-like one liners

they took ganke and called him ned leeds (whos btw another character from the comics. guess they just went with the name cause ganke LEE > ned LEEds)

peter would never rely on tony stark like that, they changed so much of the struggle that made peter peter. this is literally miles in a tom holland suit. if you put mcu peter and miles in a movie together, that'd be literally the exact same character.

it makes me so mad cause 1. miles doesnt deserve this and 2. all these people seeing tom holland (not his fault) as the peter parker when he literally isnt. and theyre milking the hell out of these movies too

i recommend reading Miles' original comic run (Ultimate Comics: All-New Spider-Man) and Spider-Men (2012, which has comic!Peter and Miles next to each other and makes the difference clear)

update:

just found out they never mentioned ben (i only watched homecoming) and made may take his role and die?😭 make tony his new parental figure? thats like the tlou show removing Sarah or Batman's parents not dying... both Bens death and Mays presence are what make Peter Peter like... whoever that guy in the Mcu is, its not Peter parker i can tell you that much

[bojackhorsemanobviously]

I watched bojack in 2022 here are my thoughts on the show in honor of the s1 anniversary

BJ/Sarah lynn: Yeah i saw that coming a mile away it didnt gross me out like a lot of othersbut. it sure was weird cause every flashback he saw as what 8 years old? weird. i don't consider it nonconsenual as it felt s5 tried to imply, cause sarah lynn is a fully grown adult but man it was def weird / also through most of it bojack was a complete sucker/.. but man the woodyallenvibesbestrongheresigh

didn't like PB/Diane on rewatches how he goes about throwing a big party after knowing diane hates them when she says YES: Big Red Flag.

am i wrong for thinking that the show doesn't give enough agency to some of the women characters, cause Jessica Biel was just insane im not gonna pin it all on PB for why that relationship soured, katrina i got feel more for but ms cannibal justnahfam. and screw ana/angela too. him going to seek closure from his abuser will always be gross..

I was mad at bojack for 2 days after the penny episode. Bojack Chris hanson wants a word with you.

And yet I still want to hug him whenver I see his sad horsy face.

I didn't like the reporter stitx shrugs.. seeing bojack also get better only for it tocrash down was a bummer to watch..

its intersting how he treats his life as a sitcom tho even up till season 6 the many faces of depression/ escape to LA/ Prickly Muffin/Too much man.. boy tries so hard to life a sitcom life of course its gonna blow up in his face.

Notice how Todd however getts to mostly live a zany sitcom life?

Hank the hippo makes me eye more than just bill cobsy

sarah lynn/sobs at jenneate and all the abuse in hollywood in general glad the kids are doing sober tho.. as miley/lindsey /britney are doing well..

sharona never should have given bojack that spiked orange juice

watching bojack in his 30s/50s near angela im just, man this guy has ZERO backbone its sad

PB: gay for Bojack

Fav quotes: This penis has been inside this vagina

Everyone Deserves to be Loved

Made me cry ugly tears: Bojerb/ Bodiane

Hate: Beatrice horseman

fav: Bojack probably obvious.

fav episode: I think bojack hates the troops is pretty funny.

its cool how his flashbacks have a sitcom vibe to it.

I feel i try to border on not excusing bojack but understanding how itcan be so hard to be anything than what he became cause his parents gave zero love zero esteem and he was set up to fail at relationships. clearly he hatese himself bec too bad for him ne bascially became his parents alcholicsm, advantage of women, insulting hisson i mean friend Todd similar to how bea treated him.

I don't like the plot for sarah lynn death as i feel its take to much responbility off a adult women who had a wall full of drugs , found the heroin and took it of her own free will.. and prefer the ide of bojack being at fault for just being a enabler..

sarah lynn predicated it well that she would hang out with enablers and die young, speaking of enablers im annoyed at pc for inviting bojack to her buisness party and trying to get him back in the hollywood spotlight like why girl just why??

love todd/bojacks ending it was very sweet

i suppose thats all i have to say ... this is just a ramble of my scrambled brain thoughts of the show.. xd.

[girltober]

When I decided to do Girl Month I considered many things: how my cis-het friends would react, how my parents would react if they ever found out, the risk of fucking up my body with E, whether I might get dysphoria...

The elephant in the room I DIDN'T consider was how it would feel to go outside and ride my bike through a busy populated area dressed in revealing girl clothes while being extremely hairy.

Things that went though my mind:

Oh god oh fuck why didnt I buy more normal and concealing girl clothes at the op shop?

Wtf do I say or do if somebody talks to me or starts shit?

With the panopticon social media hellscape we live in, any rando could take a pic of me and post it online. Jesus fuck.

I wish I was wearing a covid mask that would at least help hide my identity

I live in a small city where its easy to run into someone you know in a random location. What if a cousin or someone recognises me?

I definitely need to order a cute girly covid mask asap. And find a disposable one to use in the meantime

God what about police?

I 10000% get why L is so afraid of the police now jfc

🎵 you don't know the world beyond [tumblr,] you don't know what Satan can plan/ You don't know the safety you'd be leaving, we're your family we're your clan 🎵 -Abigail Thorn, in her excellent cover of "The Devil You Know" about coming out as bi

That one scene in Sex Education where Eric is walking to the pride parade in drag and a car of goons pulls over and beats him up

In Sarah Z's recent video about the evolution of the term queerbaiting, she talks about how theres a movement within the LGBT community gatekeeping men from wearing skirts bc thats a manipulative clout chasing queerbaiting thing.

In that video, she shows a screenshot of a tweet which reads "I hope a cis straight man who wants to wear a skirt for clout gets hatecrimed today."

Fuck the author of that tweet. Thats a fucking awful thing to wish on anyone and you should feel bad.

I feel really weird exposing the fluffy hair trail that leads south from my bellybutton

Makes me think of that one transmasc dipper pines comic where hes going to the pool and hes nervous about swimming topless. I get that comic so much better now.

Anyway, SCA people were of course extremely kind, chill and welcoming. Very special shout out to my good friend Ari, who dropped everything with no notice to meet me there, be a friendly face and support me.

Ari you are truly a fucking legend I appreciate you so much I owe you a Great Debt. I couldn't have done this without you.

Anyway tonight I used a sewing machine for the first time sewing a rapier hood, classic #girl activity! It came out uuuh pretty bad and apparently my instructor fucked up the instructions so I need to redo some of it, but here it is still wip

I cycled home in a lightning storm, a lot more confident under cover of night, and am currently safe and sound on my couch.

Tonight was a big night. I have been a very good girl and a very brave girl and I deserve a treat. I'm gonna get myself a girl treat for being such a good, brave girl.😊

Thanks for reading and supporting my journey everyone, hopefully my next few posts will be a bit more fun and a bit less terrifying 💞💖🩷

(Re-reblogged with background blurring, ORIGINALLY posted October 2nd. unfortunately the timelines gonna look pretty confusing now rip)

Going out for the first time in girl mode... riding my bike to an SCA meetup. Lowkey shitting bricks rn, i wish I was waxed.

(EDIT Oct6 - blurred distinctive features in background to meet roommate's concerns)

[pearlcscent]

i watched obx season 2 way too fast 

[meliia]

Throne Of Glass **WITH BIG SPOILERS**

i have just finished Kingdon Of Ash and i am DEPRESSED. i have become so attached to this series that now im sad i cannot continue on with these characters.

the final book had me sobbing not stop in its final moments. even though i knew The Thirteen were going to do The Yielding i did not expect them to do it in the way they did, but im especially happy that Asterin was the one to finally end Mother Blackbeak.

but Sarah, I NEED A MANON AND DORIAN BOOK. i just want to see Manon (and Abraxos) heal from her loss and finally find peace with Dorian by her side.

i adore Aelin as a main character mainly because she reminds me so much of Villanelle from Killing Eve. her and Rowans relationship made me also emotional seeing most the things they did were things she corrected from her time with Sam. like with the soap, she never let Sam use her expensive soap but its the first thing she gives Rowan.

the graveyard scene where Rowan put the stone on Sams grave as a thank you was an attack from Sarah herself.

going into this i had never even heard of Erawan, even from the things about the series i already knew, i just always thought Maeve was the main villain, and in a way she was. Sarah did an excellent job with Maeves character because there were so many times in the final book where i question if she really was the bad guy. i believe she really did want to save Erilea and she had good intentions but after some time she started to lose her grasp on what she truly stood for and started to see alternative ways to get what she wanted, even if that made her the villain. there was a moment where i thought maybe she was going to turn good with Dorian but then i realized that damn this entire time i was being manipulated.

YRENE KILLING ERAWAN?! DIDNT SEE THAT COMING

this is completely all over the place but so this isnt massively long here are some short thoughts:

- Lysandra and Aedion are cute

-will never forgive Gavriels death

-Lorcan i warmed up to you

- Chaol your book was so boring mainly because i dont like you but i love your wife so i stuck through it

- seeing all the character from The Assassins Blade pop up made my heart soar

- Manon, Elide and Abraxos are the best charcters and i will die on that hill

- Nesryn loved you, you were fun. have fun being empress and shout out to the rukkins and Sartaq

-Manon and Elides friendship gave me butterflies

- hey Feyre nice to see you pop up, btw your child will kill you when you give birth to it, be better to Nesta

- Rysand cool to see you, thanks for slowing Aelin down but could you tell your wife that her life and the baby's life is in danger, thank you

- that fight between Manon and Aelin will always be one of the best

-Dorian finding some sort of peace with his father (also him being named after his father :') ) im happy for him but another reason i need a him and Manon book is because wtf happened with his mother and brother, do they just chill in a mountain now?

-Fenrys im glad you got your justice in killing Maeve

-every time the Thirteen showed up i lost my shit. big rest in peace i hope Asterin is with her man and baby again.

-kinda wish the guys from Mistward were at Aelins coronation

- RIP Sam hope you beat the shit out of Arobynn in the Afterworld

- Rip Elena, you kinda deserved it but not in that way

- REST IN PEACE NEHEMIA I WILL FOREVER LOVE YOU

- another example that we need a Manorian book is where the fuck did the Bluebloods Matron go?

-shout out Rolfe

- shout out Fleetfoot

my full thoughts from every book would take forever but here is my ranking (for now):

Kingdom Of Ash > Queen Of Shadows > Heir Of Fire > Empire Of Storms > Crown Of Midnight > Throne Of Glass > Assassins Blade > Tower Of Dawn

5/5

[pankowfruitsnacks]

Shattered JJ Maybank Chapter Seven

master list | series master list

warning: mention of the night before briefly

word count: 1104

———————-

"Morning JJ." John B smiled at him over a plate of scrambled eggs.

He grinned back. "Morning bird."

John B continued to scoop his breakfast in his mouth. "How was last night for you?"

"Interesting, none the less." JJ thought to his conversation with Ava. "Where is Ava?"

"She left before I was up. Made enough eggs and cut up fruit for the whole cut." JJ wanted to check  in on her. She poured her heart out and opened up about some very difficult things. He understood the difficulty in being vulnerable. This morning she would be walking through a war zone.

"Oh okay."

"What even happened last night between you guys. I've never seen you be so civil with her." They both chuckled.

"We had a good chat. It'll be civil from here on out. I promise." JJ scoped some eggs onto his plate. It was in moment he decided he would go to figure 8 and check in with her. After all the pain he caused, she deserved it. Hell, he thought, she deserved the world and someone on her side for once. JJ would make the effort to show someone other than his friends that he was there for them and he would show her the same respect and care that he gave everyone else. He felt terrible for the way he treated her. Never again.

"I'm glad. Everyone really thought things would never change. You said some terrible things that we thought we would never see her again after."

JJ dropped his head. "I have no excuse for taking everything out on her. I thought she was too perfect to be one of us."

"She is one of the lucky ones." If only John B truly knew.

Once John B was done he pushed back from the table. "Well I have work today and then I am taking Sarah out. Pope and Kie already left last night so it's just you right now."

"Okay cool." He nodded and John B went out the door.

JJ went to his self claimed room to change, deciding on his navy blue cut off shirt and some black swimming trunks. To finish off he grabbed his read hat and headed out the door.

JJ rode his bike through the banks all the way to figure 8, parking it in front of her house. Matt Abott was a well known and respected doctor throughout Kildercare County, of course his house would reflect that.

JJ was nervous as he knocked on the door.

"Can I help you?" Matt opened the door. JJ felt his stare.

"Yes sir. I'm JJ Maybank. Friends of Ava. I was wondering if she got home alright this morning and if it would be okay if check in on her."

"I appreciate that, son. If you head around the to the side, there's the door."

"Thank you, sir." JJ turned around to head to down the stone path.

"Wait. JJ." He spun around. "Just knock lightly, she seemed a little shaken. Did something happen?" Concern was etched in the older man's face.

JJ stepped closer. "I messed up sir and said some things that were uncalled for. We talked and worked through it, but she was super vulnerable after." JJ could see the subtle anger in his eye, but it didnt over power the respect Matt had for JJ for being honest.

"Go on now, kid." JJ ran around to the side doors and softly knocked.

The blonde girl opened the door. She wore a tan cropped tank top with matching sweat pants. Her cheeks looked tear stains. "Uncle Matt, I said I- oh hi JJ." She straightened her posture.

"I, uh, just wanted to make sure you got back safe and see how you were doing."

She put on a smile. "Please come in." JJ followed her into the apartment. His eyes roamed.

"It's pretty sweet right. Uncle Matt had it fixed up when they have guest over. Perfect timing." She tried to force a chuckle.

"You're uncle said you seemed pretty shaken this morning."

"Last night," she took a shaken breath. "It opened Pandora's box, JJ."

"I'm gonna be honest, I don't understand what that means exactly, but I think I know what you mean." She stared at him puzzled. "Talking about it made it feel real. It made you think about it for what it was."

"That was just the tip of the iceberg."

"I'm sorry for opening Panera's blob or whatever." They both laughed. "But I want you to know, I'm here. I know how hard it is to open up. You need someone you can trust."

"JJ, it's really just a lot right now. You barely even talked to me before last night." Ava's features were soft, but JJ noticed the fear. He was pressing and needed to back off.

"I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you and I really want you to know I am here for you. I shouldn't have taken my anger and issues out on you."

Ava didn't know what to do. Her feelings were conflicted between breaking down crying and going stone cold, just block all of this out. She never had someone be there for her like this. JJ seemed to understand what it felt like to be broken. "I forgave you JJ."

"And I appreciate it more than you know."

She smiled. "I'm kind of done talking about it JJ. It's very exhausting."

"Whenever you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thank you." She shuffled around to the couch and took a seat on the other end. "Promise me you won't talk to the others about it. This is kind of a sensitive subject."

"I would never betray your trust." She hummed another thanks and flipped on the television.

"This couch is way comfier than John B's and you have way more channels." She giggled. "Not to mention the air conditioning." They both shared a knowing glance. It seemed like they were the only people who had an issue with the 'no AC' at the chateau.

"You're always welcomed. I know how hard it can be with Luke." She felt akward calling him his father. No man like that deserved that title.

"Thanks." He tightened his lips in thought. "Everyone else is being boring today and has work. How does some surfing sound?"

"Like a dream come true after living a nightmare." They both laughed a little too hard. "I have a board you can test out for me."

"Hand-crafted?"

"Wouldn't surf any other way." They shared a smile and headed out to thier surf spot.

[jennrypan]

Bucky flirted with Sarah, you yts can shut the fuck up.

Would Sam and Bucky have been nice? Absolutely but its DISNEY. The same place that comes up with a first gay character every time they make a fucking movie also Marvel who had one gay character in Endgame and it was one of the Russos. Be realistic. We may not get gay representation but we could AT LEAST get a dark black skinned woman in a relationship with a main character where Shes not a stereotype. Cuz black woman are always shoe horned into the strong alone types and its fucking boring.

They deserve love. Dont come in here with that clown shit (she doesnt need a man) obviously not but she still deserves to have someone love her.

Bucky flirted with her, he didnt give a shit if she shared the same name as Steves mom (whoever thought that is a fuckin weirdo. Like..you tryna fuck someone cuz they have the same name as your friends mom?? Tf) he said her name like that cuz he was attracted to HER, he likes black people. Die mad about it.

But first before that, cry your yt tears into a cup so i can drink it.

Have a good day ✨

[clumsycapitolunicorn]

FEAR STREET 1666 THOUGHTS (SPOILERS)............................................................................................................

OK I THINK ITS ONLY GOOD THAT I START WITH:

FUCK YOU NICK GOODE FUCK YOU I HAD SOME HOPE YOU WERE GOING TO ACTUALLY HELP THEM AND MAYBE IT WAS YOUR BROTHER I WANTED YOU TO BE GOOD CAUSE I WAS READY TO SHIP YOU AND OLDER ZIGGY (I FEEL LIKE A CLOWN) BUT THAT WENT OUT THE WINDOW (I SAW THIS SPOILER FIRST BEFORE I COULD WATCH IT) WHAT A COWARDLY PIECE OF EVIL TRASH YOU ARE ALL THOSE PEOPLE AND KIDS.

YOU WERE PULLING THIS SHIT AT CAMP AND KILLED THE SISTER OF THE GIRL YOU LOVED AND THAT TRAUMATISED HER FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE AND CAUSED HER TO SHUT HERSELF AWAY AND BE SCARED SHE WOULD DIE AT ANY POINT STILL (BUT YOU MADE A SPECIAL CASE FOR HER SO THAT IS WHY SHE LIVED) AND SHE STILL LOVED YOU EVEN THOUGH YOU BETRAYED HER WHEN YOU DIDNT BACK HER STORY AND WE ALL KNOW WHY NOW YOU PIECE OF TRASH. I SHOULD’VE CLOCKED ON WHEN YOU DIDNT HELP THE KIDS. BUT THERE WAS ALSO OTHER HINTS (MARTIN CALLING YOU EVIL I FORGOT) LIKE AT THE CAMP WHEN HE LITERALLY HAD THE BLOOD OF THE CAMPERS ON HIS HANDS AND THEN WAS ASKED IF HE KILLED THEM (IF HE WAS REALLY NOT ABOUT THE ‘FAMILY BUSINESS’ THEN IT DOESNT TAKE MUCH TO WALK OUT CAUSE UM KILLING PEOPLE ISNT THE SAME AS NOT WANTING TO DO LIKE A JOB YOUR FATHER WANTS OR FOOTBALL PLAYER OR WHATEVER CLICHE SHIT) I WAS BLINDED CAUSE I THOUGHT MAYBE HE IS JUST A DUMB ASS BUT NO HE IS STRAIGHT UP COWARDLY EVIL. YOU COULD’VE BEEN LIVING IT UP IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ZIGGY AND BEING A DECENT HUMAN BUT NAH YOU ARE A TRASH PIECE OF SHIT. FUCK YOU NICK.

Ok...I need to end my Nick rant so I can talk about the rest of this.

ZIGGY MY QUEEN YOU DESERVED BETTER IM SORRY YOU FELL FOR A PIECE OF TRASH AND HE BETRAYED YOU LIKE THAT IM SO GLAD YOU’RE ALIVE I LOVE YOU. YOU’RE MY FAVE YOU WERE AMAZING (CARRIE HIM) I CANT IMAGINE HOW HARD THAT WAS REVISITING WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, FINDING OUT THE MAN YOU LOVED WAS THE ONE BEHIND IT ALL AND KILLED YOUR SISTER. YOU ARE AMAZING.

SHE SHOULD’VE KILLED HIM TBH LIKE SURE I TOTALLY GET DEENA KILLING HIM BUT DAMN EVEN MORE SATISFYING FOR ZIGGY CAUSE THAT MAN LIED TO HER, KILLED HER FRIENDS AND HER SISTER. I AM SO GLAD SHE REUNITED WITH MRS LANE THEY ARE FAMILY NOW.

ALSO SIDE NOTE THAT MOMENT WHEN THE POSSESSED KILLER THAT STABBED HER IN 78 GOT HER AGAIN I SAW A CLIP OF THAT THE DAY BEFORE AND FREAKED OUT CAUSE I’D IMAGINED SOMETHING LIKE THAT HAPPENING. 

OK, LOVED THE STORY OF SARAH FIER. OK BUT NO THE PARALLELS OF SOLOMON GOODE BEING SARAH’S FRIEND AND BETRAYING HER WITH NICK LOVING ZIGGY AND BETRAYING HER... THE EYE BIT WAS GROSS, AS WAS THE PIG BIT. BUT NOTHING WILL TOP THE BREAD SLICER. THE ARM IS SECOND GROSSEST THING. I THOUGHT SHE REALLY CUT IT OFF AND WAS GOING TO CURSE THE HOMOPHOBIC TOWN AND WAS ROOTING FOR HER TBH. THE FACT SHE WAS JUST AN INNOCENT GIRL WHO LOVED A GIRL AND THEY HANGED HER WHILE THE REAL PERSON GOT AWAY SCOTT FREE FOR OVER 300 YEARS. 

I LOVED THE OG ACTOR FOR SARAH FIER AND WANTED MORE OF THEM. BUT I GET IT CAUSE THE ACTRESS PLAYING SAM WAS PLAYING HANNAH AND HER AND THE ACTOR PLAYING DEENA HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY. THE FACT IT WAS HANNAH AND HER FRIENDS WHO BURIED HER BODY ELSEWHERE AND THE FREAKING RED MOSS....

I LOVED MARTIN JOINING THE GANG AND EVERYONE GOING ALL HOME ALONE IN THE MALL. I LIVE FOR ZIGGY CARRIE-ING NICK AND MY DUMB SELF REALISED IT WAS GLOWING BLOOD TOO LATE. LOVE THAT THEY JUST ADDED GLOW IN THE DARK MESSAGES ON THE WALL AND IT WAS SO SMART TO SPRAY THE BLOOD ON THE POSSESSED KILLERS SO THEY WOULD TAKE EACH OTHER OUT. (I WANT A RUBY LANE SPIN OFF)

DEENA REALLY GREW ON ME BY THIS POINT, JOSH IS AMAZING AND BRAVE AND YOU KNOW MY FEELINGS ON ZIGGY. WHAT A TEAM UP AND WITH MARTIN. SOMETIMES A TEAM THAT ARE TAKING DOWN A CORRUPT EVIL COP WITH THE IRONIC LAST NAME GOODE IS A LESBIAN, HER SMART BROTHER, A BRAVE SURVIVOR FROM A MASSACRE WITH ONE OF THE POSSESSED KILLERS THEY ARE FIGHTING, AND ONE COOL GUY WHO JOINED LAST MINUTE, WHO DID PRETTY WELL TAKING IT ALL IN AND WAS DOWN TO KILL GOODE WHEN ASKED. ALSO ONE POSSESSED LESBIAN WHO DESERVED MORE SCREEN TIME (I will not tolerate any sam hate she is nice).

I LOVED THE BITS AT THE END, ZIGGY WITH MRS LANE, THE PERSON CHATTING ONLINE WITH JOSH REVEALING HERSELF, THE SIGN PAYING RESPECTS TO THE DEAD AND THE ENDING WITH DEENA AND SAM HAVING A DATE NEAR SARAH’S GRAVE WITH THE PRETTY MOSS AN MAKING A NEW SIGN FOR HER. (WHATEVER HAPPENED IN THAT AFTER CREDITS SCENE MY MONEY IS ON THE MAYOR. IF IT CONTINUES NICE IF NOT IM FINE WITH IT)

THE LESBIANS SURVIVED A HORROR MOVIE. THEY WERE THE FINAL GIRLS. TAKE THAT @ THE CW AND OTHERS THAT DID THE BYG TROPE. 

[confusedconfetti]

FATWS- Episode 4

(First 5 mins of FATWS)

(Last 5 mins)

1. THIS was a heart breaking scene. The emotions and the pain.

I can't stop crying, I just cannot.I have so many flux of emotions over this.I just hope none of yall hate him or see him as villain..he is a VICTIM. His suffering is so painful. The determination to get out of this hell cycle, the pain and eventual relief, all that is visible on his face in this scene(and kudos to Sebby for that) and that hurts.

2. Sam in his therapist element was so calming. He was so so so soft with Karli, bringing out the reason, no one reads the room like him(reason 102903, he is our CA). And guess who ruined it. I just knew it he is about to do something stupid.

3. Karli threatning Sarah, touched my sensitive nerve. Nobody touches her and boys.

4. That jumpscare for a moment where I thought Zemo is gonna take the serum?? Lmao I bit my fingers in that scene.

Just a minuscule second of scare but yeah he's got a code, he has his Morals standing high. *chef's kiss*.

And again who ruins it????? WALKER. Arrgh!

5) Reason no 102904 Sam is deserving, when Zemo asks him if given a chance will he take the serum, and he gives a unwavering, NO. And if did not fall more in love with him, I'd be lying. And guess who failed that test too???

6) Did you notice how Zemo has this soft corner just for Bucky? Hear me out, he apologised just to Buck for what happened, he isn't after Bucky(not rn atleast) He didnt think twice before shooting Karli tho, he hates hates John, he respects Sam for saying no to serum and he hates Steve, he still hates avengers but no Bucky, probably because Buck was the only one who got into all of this without his consent. God I hope Zemo stays that way.

7)They killed Lemar, and I just did not see that coming, everything in that moment was slow motion, I can't help but feel sorry for John, because after serum was changing everything in him, Lemar was his grounding factor. He was so so supportive, he would have been a sweetheart( a bitter realisation, Steve lost bucky and became bitter and now John lost Lemar. Its scary how detached his face was). I will miss him.

8) Wakandans are my favourite, Ayo is amazing. Walker's face was so crumpled when he lost a fight to them..'they are not even super soldiers'. YES, honey they are Dora Milaje, fierce warrior ney fierce black women, who are protective of their kingdom and its people.

Its infuriating because he crosses a boundary and goes for physical touch.(white man that doesn't understand consent, not surprised) Naturally they got their asses handed.

This scene speaks for itself

9) Last is Mr Walker because, we all saw that coming. He had this cold stare and detached look, I just couldn't shake it

To say its horrifying will be an understatment.

It captures something that was bubbling up for so long, and the final straw was his friend dying. The serum worked, the politics worked and we lost a soldier to them what we have now is a borderline psychopath with revenge on his mind. That last second hints that he stopped and saw people's reaction to him and has that look of being caught but no remorse and no guilt, we'll see how that develop(trailer had a scene of him kneeling, lost, its yet to come.)

Also, on an absolutely unrelated note, Team Cap...this pain and horror you feel is what we felt(atleast a good fraction of it) when that shield went down on Tony.

Anyways, wrapping up it in 2 episodes and I am not prerpared.

[captainjimothycarter]

life is full of surprises:

They wanted a funeral for Steve.

"Why?" she asked, doing careful work not to meet anyones eyes while she carefully packed away a file that read Bowling. "It's not like there's a body."

There's silence. It's tense and akward and no one likes it. Especially not her.

"To give everyone a chance to say goodbye," Jones says careful, catching her hand before she can turn away. "We're not asking you to organize the damn thing, Pegs. You don't deserve that."

She huffs and tries not to think how warm his hand is. She lets hers hang loosely, finally picking her head up to meet the Howling Commandos. Steve's Commandos.

No. Hers. Theirs.

They shouldn't be here. The war might be over and people celebrating in the streets but their had just begun.

Yet she had the sneeking feeling Phillips was the reason they were here. He was out of the office for some reason or another after watching her like a hawk.

Its not like she needed a babysitter. Even if the company was mutely appreciated.

"Okay," she finally sighed and pulled her hand away. "However...I'm not going." She paused and sees Jim nod to Pinky and Dugan looks almost nervous. "I'll be taking temporarily leave to return to Brooklyn to see Winifred Barnes. Jame's-"

"Mother, we know," Dugan interrupts. "We're coming with you. Ah-not because you need to be watched but he was our friend too. They both were. Howard and the Colonol can plan the funeral."

Peggy had the suspecting feeling they already had been.

**

It's two days later Peggy finds herself in company of Winifred Barnes and James' baby sister - Rebecca. She's no longer the baby Bucky reminisced about. She's 12 and quick witted and misses her big brother very much.

As many soldiers, James lied about signing up soon as he could. He was drafted. There was paperwork left in his mother's care proving this.

Winifred knew about her, about the Howlies, and about Steve, even his untimely death.

"James loved much in life," she told Peggy and some of the Howlies over a cup of tea. The others played a game of marbles with Becca and given Jim's moans he lost another game. "He loved life. His sister. Steve in his own manner. He didnt want to go but he put on a brave face. We all did. Most of all, Miss Carter I know he loved you. The same way Steve did. Their letters came often and spoke about you or the Howlies more than anything."

"...they wrote about me?" It was logical, yes but it was a shock to her system.

Winifred chuckled and squeezed her hand softly. "Yes. Often. Quite often. Steve even.. " Her throat bobbed and she took a long sip of her drink. "Captain Rogers asked me to give you something if you...ever came by in the time of his death. Or...Howard Stark. He was sure I could find him."

That was Steve...have the utmost fate in people.

Captain Rogers. Not Steve. Steve was too personal. Captain Rogers wasn't. It wasnt Steve who laid dead in a frozen tundra but Captain Rogers - a war hero.

Steve was still alive in them.

Peggy's thoughts were distracted when Winifred came back to the table with a small, locked box. Inside were a few letters, a will, and a small ring box. She slid it across the table to Peggy who didnt want to pick it up.

She knew what was inside and didnt trust herself.

"It's okay. He wanted you to have it," Its Dugan who spoke, muttering beside her. "He talked often about...life with you."

Peggy's fingers trembled as she opened it up and inside laid as she expected - wedding bands. Tarnished with age and a diamond missing off of one but cared and loved for. Sarah Roger's wedding bands.

Steve wanted her to have them. To marry her. "Steve."

The tears flowed before she could stop herself, Winifred walking around to hug her and shooing the boys off like she was their mother. They knew when to listen.

Peggy didnt know when the tears stopped. When she was handed a quilted blanket Steve had once stitched by hand. It was small and uneven, the stitches were wonky and smelled of dust but it was perfect.

She missed him.

**

Another two days later, Peggy finds herself at the bar. The rings are stored on a necklace tucked into her blouse. She's on her third drink, listening to the boys trade stories about the time James tried to adopt a goat.

Winifred had assured her Steve and James both loved her and their deaths were not in vain. She did not blame them for her son's deaths because Steve might not be hers biologically but he might as well had been.

"It's time," she hears Howard beside her grunt, nodding to his pocket watch. He shares one last sombering look with her. "Are you sure...? We dont blame you but it be nice..."

"Putting empty caskets into a ground might soothe you and the guys and the public but not me. I'll be here when you get back." She paused and saw the way his shoulders slumped. "I promise."

"I know, kid, I know." Peggy doesnt mind how he kisses her temple. Or how scruffy his cheeks are. Or the alcohol on his breath. "Come on, boys. We got a funeral to crash."

Its not even an hour in to Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes public funeral when Peggy finds herself not alone. She's unsure how long the persom has been behind her, her senses are dulled while under the influence.

The hand touches her and she reacts. The man is on his knees and she lets go, letting out a gasp and scrambling back on the dirty floor.

The drinks must be laced. Or playing tricks in her exhausted state. Or...or...grief.

There's no way Steve Rogers is standing in front of her. He's worst for wear. His uniform is tattered. He had an exposed gash on his shoulder, his eye is black. She can see a few specks of glittering glass on his uniform. Any in his skin looked to be picked out. Hes barely standing and staring at her, unmoving.

"You werent at the funeral."

"Who goes to their own funeral?!" Is all she can shout. She has a hundred and one things to say. She can't think of them. "You're not real."

"I dont think being in this much pain means I'm fake."

He starts to fall and Peggy catches him. Hes solid. Cold and warm. Skin green and pale. No. Hes real. Hurt. But very real.

She wants to cry. To be angry but she can't find it past the relief. Especially when his eyes open, thick lashes fluttering to reveal pretty baby blues.

Hes holding onto her chain, stroking the rings.

"You got them. Good."

Thats how Steve Rogers came back into her life. Ignoring his own funeral, beaten and bloodied, and knowing where she'd be.

That's how a very real and a very hurt Steve Rogers did the most Steve thing ever to come back into her life.

Always taking her by surprise.

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

Thoughts I had for Episode 5 of TFATWS

***spoilers***

- gosh i’ve been seeing everywhere that this is the saddest episode and I don’t think I’m mentally prepared

- I’m also going in spoikers free so if it’s bad it will hit me HARD

- I really hope we see more of Isaiah

- Coward running away

- The blood is still on the shield oof

- Steve would never

- Take it away boys

- Always hiding behind his shield huh

- Bucky :’)

- The fact that the us will probably make him an even bigger hero

- Walmart cap tried to go for the kill on sam

- BUCKY NO

- Get up bucky

- Dear god no you’re not

- HE WAS GOING FOR THE KILL AGAIN

- Omg that was fucking intense i got scared there

- HE FUCKING SMASHED BUCKY’s FACE

- HOW DARE HE

- whats sad is that sam got the shield but he got the corrupt shield :(

- He tried to wipe it off the blood :(

- Torres :’)

- Omg are we getting falcon torres now!!!!

- Goodbye walmart cap

- Now we have the real cap: sam wilson!

- Walkers wife better leave lol

- Walker isnt wrong lol he did do what the us taught him to do

- Honey you dont know how to be cap either lmao

- JULIA

- OMFG

- I LOVE HER

- I DIDNT KNOW SHE WAS GOING TO BE HERE HOLY FUCK

- Holy fuck im genuinely so fucking ready for her

- Didnt know i needed her but now i do

- Shes gonna play such a big role in the mcu i feel it

- Karli also has a point

- Oop daddy zemo

- Hot

- Lmao zemo is like i wont kill you ❤️

- Quick kiss

- Yas queens

- No kiss

- Thats rude

- Im very much shipping bucky with everyone

- PATRIOT

- hes giving him the shield :’)

- Im so happy they got a black writer and a female director for this show

- Oof blond and blue eyed huh

- God this is intense

- Isaiah ily

- Im so sorry

- Tough but necessary story

- This is why the episode was sad

- Fucking hell

- The hurt in sam’s eyes oof

- Her kids throwing her under the bus lmao

- I’m gonna have to see sam as a dad

- It’s gonna have to happen

- The power of community

- Young sam pics oop

- Bucky just came uninvited lol

- did bucky get sam vibranium wings!!

- SARAH

- I CANT

- BUCKY’s SMILE

- Bucky fishing for an invite lol so fucking cute

- WALKERS STILL LYING

- FUCK U

- lemar deserved a better friend

- I dont feel one ounce of sympathy for walker lol

- SHARON

- BATROC

- OMG

- Look at bucky!!! Hes happy

- Im not crying

- Happy bucky is my new favourite thing

- Bucky i love you so much

- Flirt with sarah

- Destroy that tree

- Sam throwing and bucky catching oof hot af

- Bucky being aware

- Not bucky saying the shielf is his family

- The winter soldier theme in the background oof

- Them throwing the shield around is very hot

- Not bucky going to see the old man i cant do that today

- Lil kiss goodbye pls

- Its all about legacy<3

- Oof i needed this sam montage

- Hot af

- WITH THE CAP THEME

- So sam and bucky are the gay uncles<3

- SHARON? DID YOU SEND BATROC IN THE FIRST EPISODE?

- BATROC BABY

- SO QUEBECOIS I CANT

- The fucking quebecois english i cant

- Im fuckjng dying

- I love that torres is a facetime bitch

- WHY THE WINTER SOLDIER THEME

- WHY was there the winter soldier theme during the meeting!!!!?

- Omg pls let it be vibranium wings pls

- Shuri pull through pls

- NOOO WHY DID U STOP

- Honey you arent iron man

- Pls stop

- You look like a cosplayer

- 5 min hacks

- fuuuuuck okay im very excited for the final oof

- Cant believe its already the last episode next week

- Im very excited to see batroc again, homeboy repping my city

- Sharon???? DID YOU SEND BATROC TO DEFEAT FALCON??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING

- I cannot belive julia louis-dreyfus is now in the mcu fucking hell im excited

- Def not the cameo i was expecting but the one i needed??

- Sam and bucky<3 being friend<3 i fucking love it

- WHY WAS THE WINTER SOLDIER THEME PLAYING DURING THE MEETING AT THE END?? WHAT IS HAPPENING

- i have a lot of questions and im very excited for the final!!

[jamesvanriemsdyk]

hi James, love your blogging! just wondering, did you ever make an updated-through-the-2021-season version of that Leafs primer you had last year? if not, would you happen to know anybody on here who has made something like it? looking to give my roommate a crash course on who everyone is before they watch the game with me tonight. if you don’t have anything, that’s totally fine, enjoy the game!!

hello. the answer to both those questions is no, but i will literally do one to two sentence player summaries under the cut right now, and i will keep a tally of how many times i have to google. it will not be many.

let me just start with the big four:

auston matthews: #34, first overall in 2016 and first line center, won the richard this year with 41 goals in like 53 games or something crazy. highest drafted latino player ever, theres lot of baggage here, im sure u can explain all this to ur friend but itd take too long to get into it here

mitch marner: #16, fourth overall in 2015, best playmaker on the team, first line rw. human energizer bunny and the best player on the team. hella sexy on the pk, i love him.

william nylander: #88, eighth overall in 2014, second line lw, best skater on the team, also best at zone entries. severely underrated and notoriously hated by the toronto media and also don cherry.

john tavares: #91, second line center, drafted 1st overall to the islanders in 2009. signed w the leafs in 2018 (hometown boy!!! johnny toronto!!!), best captain ever, sexiest man on the team. i love him.

and uh now i will finish the first two lines and then go into lines 3 and 4:

zach hyman: #11, drafted by the panthers and then signed w the leafs because fuck the cats (jk i like them so much but zach didnt so. toronto), lw on the first line, penalty killing KING, the sparkplug of the team. bounces around the lineup but not because hes bad, hes genuinely that versatile of a player. also jewish, which is cool. king.

nick foligno: acquired at the trade deadline, plays rw on either the first or second line depending on injuries, i love him. was the captain of the cbj for like a while, which is neat because he left them for the team they knocked out of the bubble last year. hilarious.

alsx galchenyuk: my beloved. #12, my favorite number, will probably be out of the lineup for at least game 1 because the leafs are literally too good. has a whole saga involved w his career, but used to be a hab and was drafted 3rd overall by them, which is important for this playoffs. king.

third line:

mikheyev-nash-kerfoot

ilya mikheyev: #65, penalty killing king, cannot score shorthanded to save his life but he DESERVES it. signed in the 2019 offszn. i love him.

riley nash: #20, another cbj newbie. originally acquired for cap shenanigans, going into the lineup because hes a veteran and great defensive center. we'll see how this goes.

alex kerfoot: #15, acquired in the kadri trade, another great pker. i love him, he has more points than pld this season, hes great.

AND NOW FOR THE OLD MAN LINE.

jason spezza: #19, actual literal hall of famer, was with the sens and then the stars and now hes HOME, and i love him, and hes amazing. my dad.

joe thornton: #97, another literal hall of famer, was on the sharks FOREVER, now is here and very excited about it. has been decent this season, which was surprising to me, and i love him now. my friend sarah thinks hes hot.

wayne simmonds: #24, my beloved, used to be a flyer, he was exactly who i wanted dubas to sign this offseason, i adore him. my mom.

aaaaand now the dmen:

morgan rielly: #44, dating tessa virtue, the team's best offensive defenseman. people are mad at him rn because hes kinda sucked. we'll see how he does, but i love him either way.

thomas james brodie: #78, i love him i love him i love him i love him. signed from the flames this past offszn, best dman this team has seen in probably decades. i love him.

jake muzzin: #8, acquired from the kings, i love him deeply. will punch a bitch in the face and crush them also. love him.

justin holl: #3, works hard loves the game (and the boys), underrated as fuck. been in the organization forever and a day. i love him.

travis dermott: #23, boyfriend material, also been in the org forever, i love him deeply. third pairing/seventh d guy, does his job stupidly well for the disaster it must be to try to do it.

rasmus sandin: #38, drafted 29th overall in 2018, king king KING, hes amazing, holy shit hes so good especially for how young he is, i love him so much, king of my heart, king of this entire blog. i love him.

ben hutton: #55, acquired at the trade deadline, just happy to be here, will maybe get into the lineup if theres injuries, i love him.

GOALIES:

jack campbell: #36, the only goalie that matters, actual sunshine on skates, id let him **** me (thats big for me), i adore him. hes amazing. broke a carey price record this season. king.

freddie andersen: #31, i wish he was still good but he just isnt any more, it makes me deeply sad. hes still sexy tho

dave rittich: #33, BIG SAVE DAVE, acquired from cgy at the deadline, im very fond. will only get into the playoffs if theres insane injuries.

ok so i didnt google any of this but i did check the nhl app like 3 times for numbers. so. i hope this works lmao

[captainstevenrogerswrites]

Christmas Cuddles

🎅❄☃️

@missusrogerswrites

Christmas was so much about presents under the tree especially to Steven, it was about family and this was the first family they were Mommy and Daddy. He wanted to make this Christmas as special and family oriented as possible. Brooklyn had snow and it did look christmassy but he planned a family christmas away. There was just something about escaping and gling on an adventure. Tony and Johnny tagged along too, after all they were all family and who better to join them for Christmas.

Ivan and Sarah, even though just under a year were giggly about going on Uncle Tony's private jet and going to another country. Nat beamed a smile, Johnny was grinning and trying to get his skis to stand up without falling. Tony was blowing raspberries at Ivan who giggled into hiccups and Sarah playing with Mommys hair. All bags now stored in the jet. Steven mentally went through his head of all the things they could possibly forget. He smiled as Nat nudged him "ready love" stepping on the plane and leaving New York for a while.

The snow was deeper and seemed whiter as they landed infront of their private lodge near Toronto, Canada. Ivan was sleeping on Steven and Sarah sleeping on Nat as they stepped out of the plane. He chuckled as they both sneezed at a snowflake landing on them but they didnt seem to mind being woken up. Hot chocolates, unpacking and playing snowballs until dinner and bed. The twins were out like a light leaving the adults to watch a christmas movie until they, too, called it a night.

Steven woke up twice with the twins, something he never minded but as he stood staring out watching the snow fall out of the window, Tony made him jump slightly

"Sorry Cap thought everyone was asleep"

Steven smiled and motioned his head to the sleeping twins, causing tony to shush himself and creep closer to Steven "still waking up are they?" Steven nodded as he stared out of the window again and whispered "they will for a while, I dont mind and Nat deserves the sleep" he felt tonys hand on his shoulder "dont tell anyone i said this but you're both the best parents those little rug rats could ever have" "thank you Tones"

Tony then had an idea, "hey as its Christmas you guys deserve a present early.." steven looked a little confused but tony covered his mouth "no returns either, even parents deserve a break so let Uncle Johnny and I take over the rest of the night and take them out for snowmen and snowflakes in the morning and see you both later around lunch or later. You deserve some Christmas time and what perfect time than now? Infact shut up no, its not a choice. You guys deserve some alone time. Go snuggle or well..." he wiggled his brows and smirked "dont do anything I wouldnt Capiscle"

Steven sighed then smiled, he wanted to ask if he was sure but Tony was already ushering the cots and babies into their rooms. "Thank you so much, tones. You're the best uncle. We love you" "yeah, yeah just make sure you and that lovely wife enjoy your time because I know we will" he winked leaving Steven to head back to bed.

Steven decided to open their curtains covering their big private windows . Even though it was dark, he knew it might be nice to wake up watching the snow fall. Looking at his wife asleep and tangled in the sheets he couldnt help but smile, he was the luckiest man alive and he was living in heaven each and every day. Climbing softly into bed, he wrapped his arms around her and snuggled up, falling asleep quickly tangled against the love of his love, excited to wake up naturally with her and not have to get out of bed, until they were ready.

[meredithstanien]

me and my thoughts ab homecoming

feel free to ignore i'm just rambling about how much i love everyone in starkid (please dont reblog this haha)

- jaAIME thank you maam for your service

- is jeff blim wearing eyeliner? thank you king

- sometimes i understand why all of you are simping for white boy manion and show stopping number is one of them. hips!

- personally i will simp for mariah though i hope you dont mind

- LAUREN WALKER I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU THAT SHIRT

- IM SO HYPED FOR FIREBRINGER I'M GONNA LOSE IT

- i want bhol's shirt. honestly i would wear his whole outfit

- brb simping for meredith.... leather jacket.....

- also lauren that fit is beautiful

- rachael soglin i love you also she has such a wonderful voice

- TOGETHER!!!!! i love everyone looking at meredith and lauren Like That

- "we are womankind" *meredith thumbs up and :)

- lowkey wish we had more lauren walker during this

- okay. tto songs slap so hard and i'm also bopping

- wISSSCONSSIIIIIINNNN i love corey

- wait how have i not said anything about jeff's outfit yet??? i love the vest so much

- okay they kept the audience participation for tto in this and i love it so much

- MS LOPEZ THE BOOTS???

- SPEEDRUN thank you for letting rachael bless us, i thought they were just gonna do tto and naked in a lake and i was gonna be so sad

-i'm crying over jeff's bowlegged step in place

- i love this four person crew for ani, i was wondering what they were gonna do for this since it was a traditional musical

- why dont people simp for clark? look at this man he's so fine

- HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT CHRIS ALLEN ALSO PLAYED DUDER IN LITTLE WHITE LIE? i never made that made that connection because i only watched lwl once

- jim povolo makes an appearance i love xem

- the cheers during no one remembers achmed... me too.

- denise and meredith sharing a mic and having the time of their lives doing it brings me joy

- lowkey was stoked for a meredith-dylan duet for 1001 nights but britney and carlos gave us so much more than we deserved

- okay as a meredith stan i am very sad about the lack of a meredith solo in the twisted medley i will not lie to you guys

- the hmb lighting.... thank you to the lightning designer i will have to check the credits.... AND THE SOUND DESIGNER the echoes are so cool

- gotta say i am so happy about the variety of funky outfits onstage today

- ROGUES jaime kills that one part. yall know the part

- literally any part with denise singing makes me so happy i cant wait for starship

- the audience clapping made me so nervous at the end of super friends bc for a second it sounded like it was throwing off the orchestra and making them speed up without realizing

- craving some commissioner gordon right about now

- STARSHIP I'M GONNA PEE

- ms donovan knows what she's talking about, thank you denise's mom we are dreamers

- i love that theyre giving solos to people who didn't get them in other medleys because i needed this. starkid women are so talented

- i feel so bad for not knowing everyone's names. theyre so amazing and i cant even name them

- JUNIOR STARSHIP i simp for bhol specifically as junior

- BRANT COX THE BUG MAN I LOVE YOU i love starship and i love him, i wish he had been in more shows

- joey your cue!!!!

- where is the way i do? i pass away

- "please enjoy some songs from 'me and my- ...." goodbye brian

- mamd is highkey problematic but that doesnt stop ready to go from being a bop

- brian and meredith standing together 🥺

- i love brian and nick lang awkwardly asking if everyone is having fun

- nick is so wonderful i love him

- the strings sound SO cool with comin back to hogwarts i love cellos

- the screams over the glasses, i love this audience

- i love the audience singing along and saying the lines along with the music, i bet the energy in that theatre was fucking amazing

- joey and darren just going "whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa" over bonnie!

- ms. lopez... the BOOTS again. lauren lopez as draco malfoy does things to me

- DYLAN COMING FROM THE AUDIENCE that is my favorite gag

- the people in the audience as dylan is coming through look so excited

- HUFFLEPUFFS ARE PARTICULARLY GOOD FINDERS!!!!!!

- meredith dances like a cartoon character it's so cute i love her

- tbh the whole second act has me smiling constantly i dont have much to say bc it just makes me so happy

- IMAGINE BEING THAT SAX PLAYER thank you king

- not even gonna lie ive never been a huge fan of avps or avpsy but the energy here makes up for it

- darren where is your fit you are harry freakin potter all the other men here are showing you up, you are wearing a black t shirt

-[yeah at thsi point a bunch of my thoughts ab the second act got deleted bc tumblr sucks and didnt save this draft but whatever i loved it]

- i'm gonna cry, the way the orchestra the end of days of summer became a slow version of back to hogwarts

- this is so sad. this is so happy but so sad.

- darren this is the sweetest thing

- "enthusiastic, but sometimes questionable fan art" i'd like to formally apologize to starkid for whatever they may have seen.

- joey in the background making faces as darren talks about loving your friends

- yo i didnt expect to get so emo over this but them finishing out with back to hogwarts really did me in, plus everyone onstage wiping away tears

- ITS AN ENCORE THANK YOU BROSENTHAL AND SANGO

- what a stupidly wonderful way to finish this show

- joey carrying out walker and brosenthals jackets

- oh the classic disconnected and off timing theatre kid bow to end the show

- IM LOOKING AT THE CREDITS AND OFC THEY HAD COREY LUBOWICH, SARAH PETTY, JUNE SAITO, AND MARK SWIDERSKI DOING TECH WHO ELSE WOULD THEY POSSIBLY ASK TO DO IT?