#sarah fain

[yokyopeli]

Prince Maxon Schreave (Ethan Peck) The Selection unaired pilot (2012) 2/ 15

[all-seeing-ifer]

fred burkle is such a compelling and layered character if u exclusively watch the ats episodes that were written by women

[acourtofladydeath]

"All Things End"

Presenting my updated fic with an immersive reading experience!

This fic holds a special piece of my soul, and I wrote it as a keyboard smash direct to post through a river of tears. I've reread it many times, but decided to step back and really revisit it.

With much help from @chunkypossum and @pippsmcgee this piece has been properly edited, updated, and even rewritten in spots. Much alcohol was consumed and many tears were shed in this process by all parties. I cannot thank them enough for their understanding of past tense, emotional stamina to relive this over and over, and never ending support as I obsessively messaged them with song ideas and editing updates. @pippsmcgee deserves incredibly special thanks for her editing services, which are, to quote her, "drunk enough to be clinical, but not so drunk I can't do subject verb agreement."

For the immersive component, I've created two playlists to go along with this fic. The "'All Things End Direct' Accompaniment" playlist has been formulated and tested to be listened to as you read the fic, with each song matching a specific scene or emotion you will encounter. The timing of the playlist should work out so that you only have to finish listening to the end of a song before proceeding to the next chapter. The first and last song are posted in the pre notes of each chapter in AO3.

The "'All Things End' Extended Playlist" includes all of the songs in the previous playlist as well as additional songs that did not match the timing of the read, but do match the emotions. This playlist is continually updated as I come across new songs that deserve a place here.

My wish is that this fic touches you, my readers, as much as it has touched me to write and curate the playlists. There is beauty and love to be found everywhere, even in death. Thank you for interacting and I sincerely hope you enjoy.

Please hydrate and get tissues before you start.

Below the cut you can find a full break down of each song per chapter, including explanations and authors notes.

Chapter 1: Inside Fading Out

"All Things End" by Hozier, the first four songs are all meant to be iterations of the emotions Azriel experiences as he learns and processes his mate's diagnosis and prognosis.

"Breathe (2AM)" by Anna Nalick

"Amen" by Amber Run

"The Call" by Regina Spektor

"Light" by Sleeping At Last, this song represents Azriel's will power to stand by his mate and take care of him no matter what.

"I'm Not Gonna Miss You" by Glenn Campbell, written during his own battle with Alzheimer's and meant to parallel Eris's own. On the extended playlist, you can find the song "Tell You About Her" by Ryan Nealon, which he wrote about his grandma and her struggle with dementia.

"Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane, meant to accompany Azriel and Eris together in his last days, and represent how they still find each other.

"I Will Follow You into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie, to indicate the love these two have for each other, even in the darkness of disease and death.

Chapter 2: Broken Pieces

"Come Sweet Death" by Johann Sebastian Back, performed by Eugene Ormandy and the Philadelphia Orchestra

"Adagio for Strings, Op. 11" by Samuel Barber, performed by Leonard Bernstein and the New York Philharmonic

"Ghost" by Micky, the song that started this entire playlist and represents Azriel's emotions after losing his mate.

"Saturn" by Sleeping At Last and Tim Fain. This song inspired Linna's eulogy to Eris

Chapter 3: What Remains

"Hurts Like Hell" by Tommee Profitt and Lauren Strahm, performed by Fleurie and Tommee Profitt, this song reflects on Azriel's state of mind after his mate's funeral. This song was also one of the initial inspirations for this chapter. The second song that influenced this chapter "As The World Caves in by Matt Maltese covered by Sarah Cothran can be found on the extended playlist.

"Impassioned Lament" by Andrew Achilles DiMestico. The story of Patroclus and Achilles heavily inspired me while writing this fic and this song represents Azriel's flight to the Night Court. I wrote the entire fic to my Patroclus X Achilles playlist, also available on spotify.

"Breathe Me" by Sia, represents Azriel asking his Night Court family for help.

"Homeward Bound" sung by Peter Hollens, meant to reflect on Azriel realizing his home is in Autumn and leaving the Night Court for the last time.

"To Build A Home" by J. Swinscoe, Patrick Watson, & Phil France and performed by Patrick Watson, & The Cinematic Orchestra. This song is meant to reflect on Azriel and Eris's relationship with the tree and with each other. It accompanies Azriel's last day and him stepping through the veil with Eris.

Chapter 4: Outside Looking In

"Life and Death" by Michael Giacchino, performed by Michael Giacchino, The Hollywood Studio Symphony, and Tim Simonec. This is the death theme that plays in the show "Lost" and reflects on the pain of the moment.

"Brother" by Kodaline. Instead of sharing the meaning of this song, I'm going to share a line that carved out a bat boy sized piece of my soul.

Oh, brother, we go deeper than the ink beneath the skin of our tattoos. Though we don't share the same blood you're my brother and I love you, that's the truth.

"On the Nature of Daylight" by Max Richter, performed by Chris Worsey, John Metcalfe, Louisa Fuller, Max Richter, Natalia Bonner, & Philip Sheppard. A bittersweet song that reflects on love and loss.

"Think Of Me Once In A While, Take Care" by Take Care

"Into the West" performed by Peter Hollens. This is meant to be the song that Azriel sings from the symphonia during the funeral, and a song he would sing to Linna when she had nightmares. Other songs on the symphonia can be found in the extended playlist: "Edge of Night" performed by Peter Hollens, "Lullaby" by Sleeping At Last, and “Dear Theodosia” from the Hamilton soundtrack written by Lin-Manuel Miranda and performed by Leslie Odom Jr and Lin-Manuel Miranda.

"Unforgettable" by Nat King Cole. This song represents the underlying theme of the fic. That even deep within his disease Eris still remembered his mate. The song was intended to tell the story of how love can surpass everything, even death, just as it does in this fic.

If you've made it this far down, thank you so much for taking the time to join me on this journey. It's truly been a labor of love and I'm so excited to finally be sharing it with you all.

[rock-and-compass]

Angel 5.9 - Harm's Way

Precursor - I wrote about the fifth season of Angel many years ago - probably around the time that the season 8 comics were first being published. I originally published these meta essays over on LiveJournal and I've decided to re-post them (as written), mostly for archival reasons. I love season 5 of Angel. It's such a shame it got axed before it could get the envisioned 6th and 7th series

Written by Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Craft

Harm’s Way is an episode about perspectives. First and foremost, it showcases Angel’s new regime at Wolfram and Hart from a perspective outside the core ‘family’ unit. On a secondary level it is about how other people view those around them; a dramatisation if you will, of the old proverb that the grass is always greener on the other side. 

Harm’s way is interesting mainly because it gives us an alternative perspective of Angel from the vantage point of a character we are familiar with and who was associated with Wolfram and Hart prior to the arrival of Angel and Co. Harmony functions as our protagonist for this episode and it is important to realise that the events are seen entirely through her eyes. If Angel and associates seem brutal and mean it is because this is how they are viewed by Harmony who is not one of the inner circle, and because their arrival at the firm has presented her with a whole set of new challenges which she must navigate in order to survive the dog-eat-dog world of Wolfram and Hart, Attorneys at Law. We knew Angel and his team have found the shift somewhat problematic, both personally and professionally but this episode demonstrates that the transition of power has been a testing experience for others as well.

The character of Harmony has been a fixture in the Buffyverse from the very beginning. Mercedes McNab, the actress who portrays Harmony, appeared in the unaired pilot production that was filmed in order to entice network interest in the proposed series. Harmony appeared sporadically throughout the first three seasons of Buffy as a friend (or more accurately, a rival) of Cordelia’s. She was one of the ‘in’ crowd who keeps her place at the top of the high-school food chain by relying on her looks, solidarity with others in the ‘popular’ echelon and a general expertise in bitchiness. Intelligence is certainly not one of her more prominent characteristics. In Graduation Day (part 2) Buffy leads an army of graduating students against the ascending Mayor and his vampire minions. In the midst of the melee, we witness Harmony being bitten by a nameless vampire. We assume that is the end of her, a casualty in the never-ending fight against evil. Not quite.

Harmony’s human life may be over, but becoming a vampire opens up a whole new realm of existence for her. In season four’s The Harsh Light of Day she makes her return to the series with an unsuccessful attempt to bite Willow and boast that her ‘boyfriend’ will seek retribution on her behalf. Her boyfriend turns out to be none other than Spike. The relationship is hardly romantic. Spike makes no secret of his contempt for her, even going so far as attempting to stake her when she gets too annoying even for him. And while Harmony might love her ‘platinum baby’ Spike is clearly only using her for convenience and to work through some ‘issues’ he has with women as a result of Drusilla’s betrayal. It’s no wonder the liaison is short lived, though they do have a brief reunion after Harmony makes a laughable attempt at embracing her inner evil by taking on the slayer aided only by some dubious minions and ill-thought-out plans.

After getting the final brush-off from Spike in Crush, Harmony heads to L.A. and tracks down her old pal Cordelia. In Disharmony she reveals how difficult she finds her vampiric existence. She craves a place to fit in, be someone, like she was in high school. She swears she can be part of the team, after all, Angel is a vampire and he’s doing OK, so she can too – if they just give her a chance. But she’s a soulless vampire with a natural inclination for evil so all her good intentions are ultimately useless. Inevitably, she turns on Team Angel and escapes, disappearing into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles until her reappearance as Angel’s secretary in Conviction.

Employment at Wolfram and Hart would have been the ideal solution for a little lost un-dead girl such as Harmony. After some years of futility, ineffectuality and disorientation it would have offered conformity and stability in an environment that was tolerant, even encouraging, of evil tendencies, didn’t care what you got up to in your off hours and was populated by like-minded beings. She would have finally found a place where she felt like she belonged. And then Angel arrived…

This episode opens with an ‘inspirational’ promotional video for the wonderful institution that is Wolfram and Hart, albeit with a few changes: (Maybe find a video of this – of there is one)

Welcome to the Los Angeles branch of Wolfram & Hart. We're the oldest and most powerful law firm in the city. Founded in 1791 on ground deconsecrated by the blood of mass murderer Mathias Pavayne, Wolfram & Hart has put roots down in this glamorous city that grow deep, and branches that reach right into the heart of every major corporation including Yoyodyne,  Weyland Yutani and Newscorp. That captain of industry? We own his soul. That fabulous movie queen? She owes us her first born. But times change, and Wolfram & Hart is changing right along with them. Under our new C.E.O., Angel, we're focusing less on power and more on using that power for good. We have a zero tolerance policy for killing, and that includes you, vampires. That better be pig's blood, mister. Yes, our esteemed president has made it clear that this is a new company for the new millennium, and he wants to work with you. 

ANGEL: If you don't kill, we won't kill you. 

That's right, no more employee sacrifices. At Wolfram & Hart, you're part of a family now. You can work your way up the ladder, and there will always be a hand to help you up it. Every life and unlife is as important to our new management as their own. So go ahead, relax, and enjoy your new Wolfram & Hart family, because at our firm, everyone matters. You matter. Buddy, you're going places.

The episode begins in earnest with a montage of our ‘working gal’, Harmony, as she goes through her morning routine to prepare for a day at the office. Apart from the usual ablutions and clothes choosing, there are a few things that remind us that Miss Harmony is not a regular girl. As she brushes her teeth she adopts her ‘game face’ in order to brush those fangs, she uses her super vampire strength to lift her dresser by one leg so she can retrieve her missing shoe and neighbour, Mrs. Jacobi’s spunky little dog growls at her because it recognises her as the evil un-dead. Once she arrives at the office Harmony looks the part; every inch the perfect secretary, the very definition of efficiency and reliability as she hangs up Angel’s dry cleaning and goes to get his morning cup of blood. But in the lunchroom things aren’t so rosy. She is excluded from conversations and can’t quite seem to make a connection with her fellow ‘grunts’. They want nothing to do with her and are openly contemptuous of her attempts to be social. At the microwave Harmony jumps the queue and interrupts another person, lording over the disgruntled other with her status within the company:

Harmony: Oh, I know. It's so unfair. Just because my boss is your boss's boss, his needs coming first and all.

Harmony might be a ‘grunt’ but in the ‘grunt heap’ she’s top of the pile and she likes everyone to know it. Hmmm… not such a mystery why she can’t make any friends after all.

Back at her desk, Harmony is still being quite impressive. She’s on top of Angel’s schedule, knows exactly where he should be at what time and with whom. She goes above and beyond the call of duty. She’s everything a good personal assistant should be and Angel doesn’t even notice. He doesn’t notice her good work, he doesn’t notice her. From Harmony’s perspective her job is a thankless one, recognition is never given, and gratitude is never offered. Buddy, you matter? Not bloody likely! 

It is time for Harmony’s random blood sample, just to make sure she, or any other employee, is not on the 'juice':

Harmony: Oh, come on, Rudy. You know I've been off the human blood for months

She’s making an effort in playing to the new set of rules, trying her hardest… And then we meet someone who’s not. Eli is a decayed looking fella from accounting who has been called up to see Angel (with complete disregard for Harmony’s scheduling!)  He’s hopeful his good work is going to be recognised. He thinks he’s going places. But no – rather it is his extra-curricular activity of dismembering virgins that has garnished his reputation. His reward for flouting office policy is a good and thorough beheading. Harmony can’t help but protest the harshness and is reminded in reply:

Angel: Called a zero tolerance policy, not a "maybe this once" policy. Nobody in this office gets away with murder, not anymore

Well, nobody except Angel ;)

Spike turns up just as the entire team has assembled in the foyer. Apparently he’s been missing in action since the re-corporialisation. He had a fair bit of drinking to catch up on but now he’s come to say his good-byes to them all, seeing as how he’s got "someone" waiting for him (much eye-rolling from Angel here). Wesley cautions against his departure as the whole Shanshu prophecy thing is still unresolved. But Spike is non-responsive telling Angel:

Spike: You're welcome to that heroic destiny, whether you deserve it or not. Me, I got better things to do than wait around for the four bloody horsemen

Life is for living, not brooding. Angel can keep his ‘destiny’. Spike demonstrates that the quest for the Cup of Perpetual Torment in the previous episode was never about claiming a destiny he believed was his, it was about claiming a destiny because he could. He gives it to Angel because he can. And it irritates Angel because he contravenes all the ‘rules’ that he’s so carefully put in place and adhered to for so long and makes all of his efforts worthless. 

After gaining the donation of a set of wheels from Angel (who will do anything to hasten his departure) Spike saves some genuinely kind and appreciative words for Fred; her belief in him, her efforts on his behalf mean more to him than just about anything. Harmony witnesses the departure from the vantage point of an outsider. He doesn’t have any special words for her despite their previous connection. She voices a tearful objection but receives no reassurance, but rather, just a derogatory piece of advice to ‘keep it simple’ because it suits her. No good-bye, no apology, nothing. She’s very firmly reminded she’s not one of the gang. 

Meanwhile, Angel is mediating a long-running feud between two particular demon clans, the Vinjis and the Sahrvin. Angel hopes to broker a truce; just part of the services offered by the new and improved Wolfram and Hart. Success will ensure that the demon world knows that Wolfram and Hart mean business and are to be taken seriously in their drive to use their power for good. There’s a lot riding on it and if things don’t go according to plan the new Angel regime will be left with little credibility, and so put the whole rationale for taking over Wolfram and Hart into jeopardy. As the group confers, Lorne’s personal assistant arrives with the seating plan he’s working on. Lorne is full of praise and admiration. Harmony, sitting in on the meeting taking notes, takes the opportunity to try and impress with her freshly researched knowledge of superstitions held by the clans only to be bought sadly to earth:

Harmony: You don't know the half of it. I've been doing a whole bunch of research on these guys, their customs and stuff? Did you know that they think poodles are wicked bad luck? 

Wesley: Harmony, I'm glad you're here . . . We'll be needing lunch. 

While Lorne’s guy gets recognition Harmony is told to get lunch. Yep, at Wolfram and Hart everyone matters! Harmony? She’s going places… as long as it’s the local take-away… but not Thai again – they want something a bit lighter. Contrasted to the implied group lunch attended by Angel’s inner circle is Harmony eating lunch alone in the communal lunchroom. Again she tries to break into a conversation being had by others, again she is unceremoniously rejected, her observation that Wesley has a crush on Fred dismissed outright. Lorne’s assistant arrives with a muffin basket courtesy of his boss. The other workers openly admire him and the way that Lorne is grooming Dan for success. Harmony tries desperately to compete:

Harmony: Angel grooms me, too.  Office girl #2: Explains the haircut.  Harmony: I'm his right arm. He's taking me places. We're so connected

Only to be completely undone when Angel calls to demand her presence and asks with loud fury, why she can’t do anything right!

Turns out Harmony, after researching the cultural practices of the feuding demons, has ordered a live camel. The meat is considered a delicacy and as host of the festivities, Angel would get the honour of slicing off the hump and plunging a red-hot poker into its heart which would then be followed by the demon leaders ripping the carcass apart with their bare hands. She suggests that it would be an excellent way to get the summit off to a promising start. But Angel is having none of it. He doesn’t want a live camel in his foyer, and he certainly doesn’t want to butcher it! He just wants Harmony to answer the phone, make appointments and anticipate his every need. Which to be fair to Harmony is what she’s been trying to do. Just because Angel doesn’t fancy a camel sacrifice doesn’t negate the fact that Harmony did the research, found out about their particular customs and had good intentions even if the actual live camel was not the best idea in the world. Fred diplomatically suggests chips and dip as a viable alternative, but Harmony decides that Angel has rejected the suggestion because Angel hates her. That everybody hates her. Fred contradicts this and before she knows what’s happened she’s been roped into a ‘girl’s night out’.

Fred and Harmony are at a bar, having a cocktail and Harmony confides that she can’t quit her job because she has nowhere else to go:

Harmony:  I tried being out on my own, all independent and evil. I'm just no good at it

She desperately wants her and Fred to become ‘gal pals’, so that Fred can teach her about life, and she can teach Fred about fashion. In essence she wants a relationship that is reminiscent of her high-school friendships, the last she knew as a human. Harmony still craves high-school type ‘popularity’ rather than real friendship. Her emotional stagnation is, in part, related to her being a vampire, but also because the person she was before she was sired had little understanding of true human connections that are not based on popularity, looks, clothes and cliques. Like both Spike and Angel, the human she was is highly influential on the vampire she became. 

Harmony spies a good-looking man at the bar and with Fred’s encouragement, goes to talk to him. She pretends to find his personal details interesting and thus demonstrates that she is really quite incapable of any kind of meaningful interpersonal relationship. Though not so bad that she can’t get a little action. Harmony wakes up with the man from the bar but is unable to remember his name. Very embarrassed she tries to rouse him only to discover that he’s dead with fang marks in his neck. Oops

Harmony disposes of the body down her garbage shoot and goes to work trying to act au naturale. The blood testing guy, Rudy, is doing his rounds so Harmony slouches down in her chair trying to look inconspicuous but only succeeds in getting chewed out by Angel for being late and not getting his morning blood. While waiting for the blood to warm she tries to remember the events of the previous evening but can’t recall a thing so decides to blame Fred who ‘made’ her talk to the guy in the first place. She has a drink from her unicorn sticker-covered thermos and guzzles greedily; stress eating she decides.

The police call Angel and tell him about a body that they found in the city dump that just happens to be owned by Wolfram and Hart. The dead man is Tobias Dupree, and he, unfortunately is the demon rights activist who brokered the idea of the summit in the first place. Angel, Gunn and Wes are worried that the peace treaty will be derailed or that someone is deliberately trying to sabotage it. Harmony is just worried about her own neck.

The clans are upset. They demand vengeance before the summit can proceed. Angel gets on it, bringing the body back to the lab. Harmony panics and rushes to see if Fred knows anything that implicates her in Dupree’s death but Fred hasn’t put two and two together. She tries to engage Harmony in gossip about the previous evening, and even suggests they go out again sometime. Harmony has too much on her mind to be responsive. While contemplating a flight to Mexico, Harmony is caught unawares and has her blood tested by Rudy. She tests positive for the consumption of human blood. Harmony responds by knocking Rudy out and stashing him in the utility closet. She happens across Lorne and questions him as to what happens to the blood test results and is dismayed to discover that they are automatically sent to the lab. A noise from the cupboard alerts Lorne that something is up and necessitates his unconscious storage in the closet too. 

She heads straight to the lab where Fred, having already seen the test results starts backing away. Harmony tries to explain. She thinks she was drugged and that she can’t have bitten him because he was bitten on the wrong side of the neck…and that someone must have spiked her thermos. Fred is dubious and tries to call Angel. She advises Harmony to just come clean and confess all to the boss. “Zero tolerance policy” Harmony protests, sure that the revelation of her positive test will result in her decapitation. Fred insists that Angel will understand, gets knocked out and added to the growing pile of bodies in the janitor’s storeroom. Harmony promises to buy them dinner once she clears her name. 

As Harmony hides from Angel she hears that the demon clans are demanding a substitute blood sacrifice if they can’t have blood of the killer. The confab is in jeopardy and Harmony fears for her life, worried that Angel would happily sacrifice her in the name of progress for demon communications, particularly with the fate of Eli fresh in her memory and the corporate spin of Wolfram and Hart ringing in her ears – ‘if you don’t kill – we won’t kill you’

Angel asks her to go find Fred and Harmony detours to the lunchroom to get herself together. She finds Dan rifling through the fridge and instantly accuses him of tampering with her blood supply. Dan has no idea what she is talking about and is quite terrified until another girl steps in and knocks Dan out. But rather than helping, she reveals that she wants Harmony to get the blame, wants her to get fired. Harmony is incensed:

Harmony: Why would you want to?  Hey! It was you!  . . . Who are you?

Turns out, this girl, Tamika, has a real thing about Harmony. Tamika used to sit next to Harmony in the steno pool, for all of about five weeks. Then Harmony was pulled out of obscurity to the best desk in the building and gets to hob-knob with the in-crowd while Tamika, who types 80 words per minute and has been with Wolfram and Hart for five years gets nowhere! Resentment issues indeed. Harmony is bemused but from Tamika’s perspective she’s on the A-team. She’s at all the important meetings; she’s on the fast track. She’s going places.

It’s a strange thing, perspective; strange how the same situation can look completely different to two different people. To Fred, Angel is a helper. He helps the helpless, that’s what he does. To Harmony, he’s a chopper; a chop first, ask questions later kind of guy. Same bloke; different perspectives.  Harmony sees herself stuck on the outside of team Angel, Tamika thinks she’s securely ensconced within. 

Turns out Tamika is a vampire too, so the whole murder and frame-up plot – not so surprising. And hey, Harmony has learnt a few moves since her bitch-slap fight with Xander in The Initative (B4.07). So they fight, with chopsticks; quite dangerous for a couple of vampires really.

Meanwhile, the conference is not going so well. Tempers are frayed on all sides and there is a substantial amount of hissing and growling and clicking going on. Oh, and they are still demanding that sacrifice. Suddenly Tamika and Harmony crash through the office window, landing on the conference table. Harmony stakes the other girl with a chopstick instantly turning her to dust. Angel looks startled but the demon clans are satisfied, ready to sit down and talk at last. 

In the aftermath, Fred, Rudy and Lorne have been liberated from the closet and Angel tells Harmony that she should have come to him for help. She assumes that she’ll be fired but Angel gives her another chance – perhaps it was her saying that she has to work twice as hard at being good because she doesn’t have a soul. It must have resonated, even just a bit. It’s been damn hard for Angel to do the right thing at times, and he does have a soul. 

Later Harmony is sitting alone in the bar pouring out her woes to the bartender, lamenting the fact that she got no thanks for saving the summit, just a demand for coffee. Spike appears; he’s not gone to Europe after all: 

Spike: I was on my way, had a boat ticket and all. Then I put a little thinking into it. A man can't go out in a bloody blaze of glory, savin' the world, and then show up 3 months later, tumbling off a cruise ship in the south of France. I mean, I'd love to, don't get me wrong, but, it's hard to top an exit like that … I expect Buffy would be happy enough to see me. It's just, I gave up my life for her, the world, and if I show up now, flesh and bone, my grand finale won't hold much weight. All of it... won't matter.

So, Spike has fears and worries and for the first time ever we see them stand in the way of what he wants. Perhaps the soul also allows him to hear that little voice in the back of his head that cautions and stresses and vocalises fears and makes him think of all the reasons why he shouldn’t and all the things that could go wrong. Maybe the idea that Buffy would certainly remember him fondly is too precious to give up. Maybe those words spoken, those words denied in the Hellmouth are too terrifying to even contemplate. What if what she said was not true?  . . . What if it was? And so we discover, if we didn’t already know, that Spike is not all bravado. It’s all an act. He’s scared. Scared about seeing Buffy, worried that his sacrifice will be diminished in her eyes, unsure if he will be loved – and thus, this determines his underlying motivation for a good portion of the remainder of the series. Spike makes a conscious decision to stay away from Buffy and see what he can make of himself without her.  

Harmony can sympathise with the fear of not mattering but here we are shown the vast amount of distance that separates the souled and unsouled vampires. Spike is able to balm Harmony’s wounded sense of self-worth by pointing out that she does matter because someone tried to frame her for murder; that because others are envious of her, she matters. Yet the same explanation does not satisfy him. By his own logic, the fact that he mattered enough for someone to go to all the effort of retrieving the amulet, sending it to Angel and then re-corporialising him should have Spike feeling pretty pleased with himself. But it doesn’t. He wants to matter, not to an anonymous mass of envious co-workers, but to a blonde slayer somewhere in Europe and, one suspects, to a frequently grumpy grand sire. He wants to matter for the right reasons and so, he stays. 

Next up: Soul Purpose

[reduxpictures]

ReduxStock: Photo by Sarah Rice/Redux of president of the UAW Shawn Fain, in The Atlantic - October 24, 2023.

[patwrites]

Overall Body Count:

2001 Wakefield Massacre:

Harris Antonini

Joshua Aiken

Randall Martin

Christopher Cullen

Sarah Mills

Kate Seaver

2002-2008 Copycat Sprees:

Cody

Ashley

Peck

At least 5 additional people

2008 Wakefield-Dunn Massacre:

Ben Wellington

Marty Dunn

Reverend Fain

Kelly Seaver

Lucy Daramour

Hunter Jennings

Andrew Cullen

Sparky Mackle

Deputy Garrett

Joel Booth

Thomas Wellington

Richard Allen

Malcolm Ross

Cole Harkin

Brent Cyr

JD Dunn

Beth Barrington

Katherine Wellington

Darryl Riggens

Tyra Coulter

Maggie Krell

Charlie Mills

Nikki Bolton

Shane Pierce

Patrick Lillis

Cal Vandeusen

Chloe Carter

Danny Brooks

Trish Wellington

Chris Sullivan

John Wakefield

Henry Dunn

[travllingbunny]

The writers of Earth Kills, Sarah Fain and Elizabeth Croft, are a writer/producer duo who always work together, and who had previously worked on other shows like Angel, The Shield, Dollhouse ... I've seen it mentioned (but can't tell the source) that they were showrunners or can showrunners of t100 in season 1. Which would make sense as JRoth had zero experience, so it makes sense more experienced people would get to co-run the show at first until he gets more experience.

They were, in any case, gone after season 1. Aside from 1x03, they're also the credited writers of 1x08 Day Trip.

The 100 Rewatch 2023 ep 1.3

Earth Kills.

Yes we love the Earth Skills/Earth Kills play on words.

On the Ark, flash back young happy Jahas and Griffins. They are so cute. Ugh that look Jaha gives Abby and Jake when they're being romantic. So longing, so pining. Frankly that would have been a good storyline.

Groaning Jasper who everyone thinks is dying. Ooh Clarke hears Charlotte having a nightmare. This is a terrible storyline but actually a really good one. The horror, the pain, the tragedy. It points out the injustice of the systems on the Ark. Jailing a prepubescent girl who just lost her parents for assaulting a guard? Where were you Jaha when that went down? Was that a place where you needed to enforce the rules?

Oh, the missing kids. Trina and somebody else. "Trina Relax we're fine." What is that? Oh that's the poison fog. Not fine. Nope. Great way to introduce tension and danger frankly.

Bellamy showing off with his throwing knives. Murphy being an ass. Atom being Bellamy's bitch. lol. Pascale. That's the other one. No they're not just lost. He makes Murphy guard the camp.

Trying to save Jasper who's wound is infected.

O trying to make moves on Atom and Atom taking his punishment and ignoring her. O and Bellamy confrontation. Bellamy being a jackass big brother. Meanwhile Clarke is debriding Jasper's wound and Bellamy thinks he can't save him. "Down here every life matters."

Bellamy. "Look at him, he's a lost cause." THere's a bit of an oracle. Bellamy meanwhile thinks Clarke doesn't have the guts.

"Power hungry self serving jackass. He doesn't care about anyone but himself." Says Monty. Which is actually completely wrong.

Finn however agrees with him about Jasper being a lost cause and that's ANOTHER clue where that guy discards people like trash. Bellamy is wrong and so is Finn.

Abby and Jake fighting about the Ark dying and wanting to tell everyone. He's TALL. And has big shoulders.

Clarke examingin the grounder poultice (go away finn) Wells has figured out what the poultice is and is telling her how to find it and she keeps rolling her eyes and talking to Finn. More blaming him for getting her dad killed. The three find a hidden car. Neat.

Bellamy hunting, turns around and flings an axe and almost hits Charlotte. Enter big brother bellamy. He gives her a knife. Discussion about killing things. "Who knows maybe you're good at it."

They find the seaweed and Wells worries about the sea monster, Finn talks about rigging something. Clarke wades in and gets it. Oh, flock of birds fleeing. The grounder warning horn. O. Kno. RUN RUN.

boo back to the ARk. If it isn't Raven I don't care. Oh its another flashback we find Wells and Clarke playing chess. She tells him about her dad. Yeah yeah. I know. She's wrong. She will regret how she treated him. And we never had enough time for it to matter. I do not like that story choice. Despite it being important later. They shouldn't have killed off Wells.

They run from the poison gas and find the car. Bellamy takes Charlotte into a cave, Atom falls and is caught in it. The kids are running into the dropship. Good and scary.

Wells, Clarke and Finn find booze. Wells "alcohol is toxic." Lawful good. Goodie goodie. which makes Clarke rebel.

Charlotte in the cave with the bad dreams. Bellamy and his fateful inspiring speech telling her to slay her demons when she's awake and they won't be there in her sleep. Fear is weakness. Weakness is death. When you feel afraid hold tight to that knife and say 'screw you, i'm not a afraid.' Sigh. Obviously she doesn't have a hold of her sanity. Or maybe she does. They're setting up a new society down there where people threaten and fight and torture. This is what Bellamy did until he realizes the consequences.

I don't actually want to listen to this drunk Clarke blaming Wells forever for something he didn't do. Ugh. LEave him alone Clarke. Finn tells her to take it easy. Clarke. "I have no idea how to do that." Wells DOES drink the booze. See he would have lightened up.

Jasper still howling in pain. Murphy says he's gonna kill him. Monty and O lock him out. Murphy was awful. Terrible. Great bad guy. Oh hey, anyone watch Flash? I saw Richard was playing a bad guy on that. He's really good at a creepy, morally gray, oddly attractive bad guy.

Clarke wants to be a part of the plot to reveal the dying Ark. She calls her dad dumb. lol. "you picked a fine time to start being a rebellious teenager." And Jake is arrested.

Acid fog gone. Finn doesn't think Wells is innocent of what she accuses him of. This is actually one of the times I don't hate Finn. He's right. But he's always trying to get into her life, behind her walls.

Charlotte finds Atom. Atom tells Bellamy to kill him. She gives the knife to Bellamy. He sends her back to camp. Clarke arrives over his shoulder. She gets right to work. No. He's not gonna make it. She tells Atom she's gonna help him. Takes the knife from Bellamy and starts humming. Bellamy just watches her while she cuts his carotid.(so does charlotte.) They're back in camp.

Bellamy "Get Clarke wahtever she needs." The turning point in their relationship from Enemies to partners.

O blames Bellamy for Atom's death which is stupid. IT's not his fault. And he takes the blame. That is one dynamic I don't like. The O&B blame bellamy carousel. I get why she does it and it's true to character, but it takes so long to grow out of it.

Floating Jake. I know it's the basis for Clarke's character but I guess I'm less interested in what happened before the show and more interested to the things ON the show. A bit of tear jerking. Wells is there. Jaha is there. Abby is there. Wells does not look happy. HE shot his dad a horrified look. DId they need to have Jake flip out of the ship like a fricking flap jack? lol.

Giving Jasper seaweed soup. Clarke apologizes to O about Atom's death. O says "I guess we're going to have to get used to people dying." And that's some more oracle work isn't it?

Clarke finally figures out that it was her mom not Wells who told on Jake. Honestly. That's exhausting too. I'm glad that she grew out of the holding grudges phase. Not yet, but soon. This is the story that teaches her to let go.

Octavia and MOnty drinking the booze. Jasper wakes up.

Finn, "Welcome back buddy." ARen't you the one who kept trying to leave him to die?

Wells watching the sunset. along comes a spider. Or charlotte. And they have a nice little moment, and talk about nightmares. "I think I found a way to make them stop. Sorry." stabs him. chops off his fingers. Sharp knife. She tells the story of how she sees Wells father ever night killing her parents and she wakes up and sees his. The only way to make it better is to slay her demons. She had to. And hums while he dies.

SUPER HARSH. Pretty damn effective though. If I recall, that was when I had to reevaluate my opinion of this show as being pretty teens in the post apocalypse. Or no. I think it was the one two punch of Atom being put out of his misery and then Wells being murdered by a misguided traumatized teen.

Of course as soon as they reconcile, Wells dies.

The acting is all better now. The storylines are more original. The characters have more depth. The kids are less stupid because theres more risk out there.

I do not love Clarke's grudge holding in this episode. She's acting like a child. Granted, she IS a child. So it's not a fatal character flaw, and she definitely grows up.

These kids are all traumatized.

I want to see them heal and get strong and find love and be happy.

:/

[isagrimorie]

You know, what I remember? I remember that I loved Women’s Murder Club and that after the 2007 Writer’s Strike (moment of silence for all the shows we lost) and then Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain were fired from WMC and suddenly the show went downhill from a truly fun ensemble procedural to the Lindsay Boxer (Angie Harmon) Show. 

Imagine if Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain were hired to show run Rizzoli and Isles, I bet you dollars to donuts R&I would’ve been a stronger show, with consistent characterizations and relationships. 

Also, can you all imagine how much more realized Maura Isles would’ve been? Instead of Sasha Alexander bolstering Maura up all by her lonesome? 

Craft and Fain also had the bona fides writing for a strong character based procedural coming off of Shawn Ryan’s ‘The Shield’ to ‘Lie to Me��. 

(TBH they’re one of the reasons why I’m giving The Fix a chance despite the really, really really questionable premise. Also, Robin Tunney.) 

Man, I wish TNT gave Rizzoli and Isles to Craft and Fain. 

[guysgirl-boymom]

“What’s Your Story”

I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts lately.  Not a lot of different podcasts, a lot of episodes from two specific podcasts:

Side Hustle School by Chris Guillebeau

and

Happier in Hollywood by Liz Craft & Sarah Fain

I’ll go into more detail on both of these podcasts because I LOOVVEEE them and I think everyone should be listening to them but a few things stood out to me this week of Labor Day.  Sept 1 - 8, 2019.

Chris Guillebeau has been talking about a Happier Labor Day by making September the new January.  By that he means to create new “resolutions” or set new goals for yourself.  Now that summer is just about “over” (not that anyone in CA could freaking tell) what are you going to do with the rest of your year.  

My new goals:

finish western script

apply for the Universal Writers Program (the movie studio Universal)

continue my healthy eating

and NO YELLING AT MY SON (I’m a yeller, and I hate it!)

Then, in Happier in Hollywood Liz and Sarah talked about figuring out your story.  Not a fictional story, but your story that makes you you.  This was actually one of their first podcasts.  Episode 4 to be exact, from June 8, 2017.

This got me thinking about MY story and I think I have it figured out.  My story is that I’m a “Guy’s girl, boy mom”.  Long story short, I get a long better with guys than most girls.  I like beer, baseball, football and action movies.  No one in my entire life would have consider me a girly girl, though I can clean up quite well.  And, above all else, I LOVE my son!  It doesn’t hurt that by having a boy I get to enjoy all my favorite sports and movies all over again.

So... to wrap this up... I’m “reinventing” myself and holding myself accountable for the crazy ideas I have for the amazing future I have planned.

Lot’s more of my adventures to come... because quite frankly I need to iron out A LOT OF SHOT in how I want to reinvent myself so please bare with me ya’ll.

[yokyopeli]

Prince Maxon Schreave (Ethan Peck) The Selection unaired pilot (2012) 1/ 15

Director Mark Piznarski

Writers Kiera Cass; Elizabeth Craft & Sarah Fain

[beautifulfaaces]

Masterlist - Female Ginger

 2000s

Abby Donnelly

Beatrice Kitsos

Bebe Wood

Darby Camp

Ella Ballentine

Francesca Capaldi

Isla Johnston

Larsen Thompson

Liliana Mumy

Lilly Dreesen

Maggie Elizabeth Jones

Sadie Sink

Sadie Stanley

Sophia Lillis

Summer Fontana

90s

Abigail Cowen

Alexia Fast

Alina Bobyleva

Alina Kovalenko

Annie Thurman

Bonnie Wright

Carmen Solomons

Dakota Blue Richards

Debby Ryan

Elizabeth McLaughlin

Ellie Bamber

Emma Kenney

Georgie Henley

Georgina Sadler

Helena Barlow

Janet Devlin

Jeni Ross

Jordan Clark

Juliette Angelo

Katherine Barrell

Katie Stevens

Lily Newmark

Liv Hewson

Louisa Connelly-Burnham

Mackenzie Lintz

Madelaine Petsch

Madeline Brewer

Madison Lintz

Madisen Beaty

Molly Quinn

Poppy Gilbert

Rachel Hurd Wood

Rosie Day

Shannon Purser

Sophie Turner

Swantje Wördemann

Tavi Gevinson

Zoe de Grand Maison

80s

Alex Paxton Beesley

Amanda Righetti

Amy Manson

Amy Wren

Annette Lober

Ashley Bell

Barbara Meier

Breeda Wool

Brittany Allen

Brittany Snow

Cinitia Dicker

Danielle Kind

Diana Gómez

Emily Tyra

Emily Wilson

Evan Rachel Wood

Genevieve Angelson

Haley Strode

Holland Roden

Holley Fain

Holliday Grainger

Jade Ramsey

Jane Levy

Jessica Keenan Wynn

Jill Morrison

Josefine Preuß

Joy Nash

Julianne Hough

Juno Temple

Karen Gillan

Katie Leclerc

Lindsay Lohan

Lily Cole

Marcella Lentz-Pope

Maria Burghardt

Meg Steedle

Nicole LaLiberte

Palina Rojinski

Rose Leslie

Sarah Hay

Tuppence Middleton

Vanessa Bayer

Vanessa Lee Evigan

Zena Grey

Zoe Boyle

70s

Amy Adams

Antonia Holfelder

Chelah Horsdal

Clare Grant

Darby Stanchfield

Elisabeth Gelabert

Erin Chambers

Katherine Parkinson

Isla Fisher

Jessica Chastain

JoAnna Garcis Swisher

Lauren Ambrose

Marielle Heller

Nathalie Boltt

Rebecca Mader

Sabrina Grdevich

Sarah Rafferty

Sasha Alexander

60s

Alex Kingston

Amy Yasbeck

Andrea Sawatzki              

Connie Britton

Julianne Moore

Kate Walsh

Lea Thompson

Marcia Cross

Molly Ringwald

Rebecca Stab

Susan Walters

Tilda Swinton

50s

Annette Bening

Chloe Webb

Dana Delaney

Ellen Crawford

Laura Innes

Patricia Bethune

[flynnridcrs]

⌜TASK 025: NEXT GEN⌟

inspired by :  ponyboy curtis ( the outsiders ) ; ben kessler ( november 9 ) ; finnick o’dair ( the hunger games ) ; elle woods ( legally blonde ) ;  sarah sanderson ( hocus pocus )

GENERAL

birth name | prince flynnigan edmund fitzherbert of corona           nicknames | flynn           date of birth | march 7            age | twenty two         gender | male        pronouns | he / him           powers | healing powers obtained from the sundrop                          sexuality | bisexual        place of birth | corona, germany          current residence | split time between corona and elias         occupation | future king of corona       

APPEARANCE

height | 6′2         build | thin         hair colour/style | dirty blonde & curly eye colour | blue      . piercings | none        tattoos | minimalist sun on his wrist              glasses/contacts | contacts and reading glasses        faceclaim | gavin casalegno          

HEALTH

physical ailments | he’s deaf in his right ear       allergies | peanut butter         sleeping habits | gets a solid six hours but doesn’t seem to need more than that     eating habits | doesn’t identify as a vegetarian but will usually choose vegetarian options when presented with them        body temperature | even temperature        dominant hand | left        drugs / smoke / alcohol | flynn has been known to occassionally drink or smoke weed in specific social situations

RELATIONSHIPS

mother | queen reagan cymbeline of corona father |  king eugene fitzherbert of the dark kingdom  siblings | benjamin teague ( older brother and confidant. flynn absolutely idolizes his brother and there are definitely moments where it shows ) ; juliet fitzherbert ( baby sister, little best friend. they have matching tattoos and shit ). children | none  birth order | he’s the middle kid whomp whomp significant others | flynn’s attachment is only to himself at the moment, but there are times he can’t help but think about a certain blonde ( kinsley lightfoot )  friends | caspian swann-mcqueen, dorothea fain, asteria hawkins, more to come.          

TESTS

zodiac sign | literally a pisces man ... disgusting      mbti | enfj - the protagonist         enneagram | seven - enthusiastic visionary        temperament | sanguine           hogwarts house | gryffindor       moral alignment | chaotic good          primary vice | pride      primary virtue | kindness    

SKILLS & STATS

languages spoken | german, english, french drive | skillfully     jump start a car | sure why not         change a flat tire | yeah        ride a bicycle | sure but he would rather drive         swim | yes - he was a life guard too       play an instrument | piano          play chess | he’s not good at it but he’ll claim to kick your ass          braid hair | he used to braid juliet’s when they were kids             pick a lock?  | yes       sew?  | absolutely not       

compassion.          8/10.

empathy.          9/10.

creativity.          6/10.

mental flexibility.          7/10.

passion.          8/10.

luck.         8/10.

motivation.  10/10.

education.          10/10.

intelligence.          8/10.

charisma.          9/10.

reflexes.          5/10.

willpower.          8/10.

stamina.          7/10.

physical strength.          6/10.

battle skill.          4/10.

initiative.         7/10.

restraint.          6/10.

strategy.         8/10.

[evcrythingnice]

inspired by: bubbles // the powerpuff girls; luna lovegood // harry potter; maggie vera // charmed; amy march // little women; usagi tsukino // sailor moon; peter parker // spiderman; debbie gallagher // shameless; cassie ainsworth // skins 

wanted connections can be found here.

the basics ;

FULL NAME brynne magnolia utonium NICKNAME(S) bubbles (given by beatrix) AGE AND ZODIAC twenty two / gemini HOMETOWN townsville, usa CURRENT LOCATION elias, california, usa GENDER cis female SEXUALITY bisexual PRONOUNS she / her MYERS BRIGGS infp / the mediator ALIGNMENT neutral good  TEMPERAMENT sanguine TRAITS carefree, wholesome, emotional, and ditzy FACECLAIM sarah jeffery

 past ;

brynne’s bio can be found here. 

despite the three of them being created at the exact same time, test tube babies in the most literal sense, the utonium triplets naturally filled roles that mimicked a certain birth order: beverly as the oldest, beatrix in the middle, and little miss brynne as the baby. it’s a dynamic that’s followed them to this day.

growing up, brynne liked to think of herself as a normal kid - even if her powers made her a little bit special. she thrived in school and joined lots of clubs, emerging herself in the full experience of being a typical american child. well, as best as she could.

the nickname ‘ bubbles ’ came from beatrix in childhood. when they were learning how to fly, brynne would float in the air, bouncing to and fro. trixie said it reminded her of a bubble, and the nickname stuck from then on. 

present ; 

brynne’s first big move towards independence happens when beatrix is still in townsville - she gets a job in the dietary department of the city of townsville memorial hospital. it’s a great way to meet people, earn some money on her own, and still help the city of townsville ! everyone has to eat, especially sick people ! 

when that job doesn’t work out (more about that can be found here) brynne redirects her sights on nursing school. her goal is to redirect her life, immerse herself fully in the college experience, and hopefully find herself along the way. 

future ;

for now, i can see brynne finding a life in elias and settling down here in adulthood, working her way up as a nurse at the medical center or hospital. as of 10/22 she’s a brand new baby so i haven’t put a whole lot of thought into her future. more to come !

connections ;

sisters - beverly & beatrix utonium 

roommate & new bestie - reagan cymbeline

friends - leonardo hamato, donatello hamato, michelangelo hamato, serena fain 

more to come - let’s be friends !

[speedygal]

Roselyn Sanchez (Devious Maids, Grand Hotel) has been tapped as the lead in Fantasy Island, Fox’s contemporary version of the classic drama series that has a straight-to-series order to debut Aug. 10. Sanchez will play Elena Roarke, a descendant of the original series’ enigmatic Mr. Roarke, in the project, from writer-producers Liz Craft and Sarah Fain as well as Sony Pictures TV and its Gemstone Studios label, which co-produce with Fox Entertainment.

[mybeautifulchristianjourney]

Rev. James Smith’s Daily Bible Readings for the Lord’s Household (1841–1850)

After he had patiently endured he obtained the promise. - Hebrews 6:15

Abraham was long tried, but he was richly rewarded. The Lord tried him by delaying to fulfil His promise; Satan tried him by temptations; men tried him by jealousy, distrust, and opposition; Hagar tried him by contemning her mistress; and Sarah tried him by her peevishness.

But he patiently endured. He did not question God's veracity, nor limit His power, nor doubt His faithfulness, nor grieve His love: but he bowed to divine sovereignty, submitted to infinite wisdom, and was silent under delays, waiting the Lord's time. And so, having patiently endured, he obtained the promise.

God's promises cannot fail of their accomplishment. Patient waiters cannot be disappointed. Believing expectations shall be realized. Beloved, Abraham's conduct condemns a hasty spirit, reproves a murmuring one, commends a patient one, and encourages quiet submission to God's will and way."

Remember, Abraham was tried; he patiently waited; he received the promise and was satisfied; imitate his example, and you will share the same blessing.

All anxious cares I fain would leave, And learn with sweet content to live On what the Lord shall send; Whate'er He sends, He sends in love, And good or bad things blessings prove, If blessed by this Friend.