#sara i know you’re on tumblr if you’re seeing this hi ily
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seeing posts from people loving the nightmare before kissmas is everything to me because you dont know how long ive been obsessed with this book
#sara i know you’re on tumblr if you’re seeing this hi ily#the nightmare before kissmas#books#book recommendations#holiday books
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:¨·.·¨:
`·. Mutuals Appreciation post! ★°*゚
bun being soft on main hours lol but i wanted to make an appreciation post for all my lovely mutuals because you all always been here for me and i just wanna show you my love and appreciation sobs
long post ahead and in no specific order; these are the people i’ve been talking to lately and would like to appreciate (but i do appreciate all my moots too)
@cutiekawa - first-ever wife <33, i love you so much and im so so glad to have you in my life babe. You were really the first mutual I actually talked to every single day and so so happy I got to meet you. I love talking to you every day and I can't wait for future adventures bub!
@peaxhcringe - listen here, I love you so much. I know we sometimes do be having hard times but you're always there for me and you're my best friend. There's literally so much I can say about you but thank you for taking a chance on me and I'm just forever grateful that I even dmed you on tumblr in the first place. I can't wait for more adventures with you.
@catzula - bye i hate you /j, NO ILY cause you're also in my wife harem and i know we have gotten closer and even though you're supposed to be sleeping you stay up and talk to me (which you should also be sleeping grrr). Our relationship is just amazing because we hate but love each other and you're always there for me AND YOU ALSO HAVE GREAT TASTE MWAH.
@snoozless - ELLE, you are just so so so amazing, ilysm and you're always there to listen to my vents and rants and you always want to help me. You show me so much love and support and I'm just so so glad i met you and I always love listening to your little rants and when you go on about things that make you happy, you're literally the definition of perfection and serotonin ilyyyy.
@eraser-baby - MY OTHER WIFEY, sara I LOVE YOU. I know we just started talking on this account even though I followed you on my old one BUT YOU'RE SO PRECIOUS. You're always there for me when I be having bad days and you always bring my askbox so much serotonin with your lovely memes. I AM SO GLAD WE ARE GETTING ALONG SO WELL cause i was lowkey afraid of you but to realize you're so lovely and sweet and wonderful.
@noya-sleftankle - MY WIFEYYYYYYY. You're my second wifey of course and I love you so much. Thank you for taking a chance on me when we first met and you are loved soooo much. I love our little check in we do with each other and the random convos in between. YOURE WRITING IS AMAZING AND ILYYYY.
@sugawaaras-deactivated20210426 - yeah babe i know you're deactivated but i can't leave you out. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU and you're always there for me through the good times and bad and i just mwah i love you and I'm so glad we are such good friends <333
@kohi-zeri - hey you're so sexc hahaha, no kohi you're literally so nice and so calm and i just love talking to you on the server. You are like always there to also listen to my little vents and there to calm the chaos that happens with in the server. You are just so nice to know and you are also so lovely to hang around with and kohi stop being so perfect ily
@tetsulatte - ellie the baddie uwu. HEY ELLIE, I know we didn't talk for a long period of time but I love your presence you have. You radiate such warm energy and you bring so much joy and happiness with you. I know thing's may have been rough but I'm so proud of you for pushing through and I'm manifesting that testytube comes back and finds you <3
@milktyama - RINNIE!!! naurr rinnie ilysm and somehow you always know what I'm thinking which is like omg. You're like a little sister to me and I just love love being your friend. You bring so much positivity and I am just grateful that I meet you babe.
@sugas-sweetheart - ppsps sofia ilysm, thank you for listening to my random dms and ideas. We've been moots for so long and i feel like we have such a strong bond and i love talking to you and interacting with your posts and things hehe, ilysm baby <33
@deaf-bakugou-katsuki - my catboy, fine I'm gonna say it again, i love you catboy. I KNOW LIKE WHEN WE FIRST STARTED TALKING IT WAS SO AWKWARD but now you're like one of my other besties and my catboy of course. I love talking to you and spamming your askbox with nonsense everyday. stay forever wonderful (and i know you simp for me dummy just admit it)
@tooruluv - MYA!!! god i still remember the first time i followed you and i cant believe you, an amazing writer and person overall, consider me as a friend. I ABSOLUTELY ADORE YOU and you're so amazing and you're just such a wonderful person to talk to and you're really supportive.
@tsumue - RUNA HI, i know we don't really talk a lot a lot but whenever we do you're so sweet and kind. You care about my well being so much and it makes me love you even more, you are just so amazing and i hope we get to talk more soon!!
@u-make-my-heart-tsumtsum - REE YOU ARE SO SWEET TO ME, i remember like the first time we met was off an network and even though we both aren't in it anymore i enjoy seeing you on my dash and i love love love talking to you. You're always so sweet and gentle with me, thank you so much baby
that's all for right now loves, i was going to do all my moots but then we would be here for forever, I love all of you so much and you all have a special place in my heart <33
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(1/?) hii, how are you, i’m hope you’re doing good. so in case tumblr got crash if i scrolled down too far and fast, i decided to check when you answered it and screenshotted it, and reply back when i have time uwu. my week is pretty good, this week my school have a festival it was fun but a bit boring since i have went through the same festival every years since i studied there loll. at the festival, our class was divided into countries and worked with primary class, they’re so cute - 🐧
(2/?) our class sang despacito lmao, but in english at the beginning and my friend sang the chorus but in Spanish, he didn’t know how to speak, he just look at the romaji and sang, it was very funny. our class sold scrunchies, keyrings and hand fan, gladly, we sold all of it, it was very tiring and very crowded 😢. and yes, my school doesn’t allow any snacks from outside, cause they’re scare that we at smth wrong and it could be mistook at the school’s food so no, outside snacks but - 🐧
(3/?) rules are meant to be broken so we still bring snacks to school. and how you’re work this week? hope you’re enjoy it, please get enough rest as you’re working hard hunny bunny 🥺💕. hmm, to think back, maybe not the class clown that much, i’m more like the one who make the noises so that the class won’t be too quiet, like if i am absent that day, i would heard the teacher saying “the class was quiet the day you’re absent” i don’t think “idk you yet” was a tiktok song, just an nctzen - 🐧
(3 or what number, i suddenly forgot 😭/?) used it to make an edit, cause the vibe is like chill from the edit uwu. but the song i recommended “Telescope” is a tiktok song ig, i found it through tiktok ☺️. and how are you liking the songs? i hope it suits your taste, Sara Kays’s Chosen Last is also very good, i really like her music uwu, she is quite young but is so talented ❤️. and YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL WTH? I WISH I COULD TAKE A QUICK SELFIE AND LOOKS GOOD LIKE THAT WITHOUT DELETING A FEWS - 🐧
(4/4) i’m glad filter exist, it make my selfie much better, bless filters for existing, you save my face 😢 i hope life is treating you nice, please get a lot of rest, your work seems to be very tiring but as long as you’re enjoying it, i’m happy uwu. stay hydrated, eat 3 meals a day and many delicious food too, i love you, have a nice day hunny bunny 💞💞💞 - 🐧
✿ ✿ ✿
Hi, lovebug 💗 i’m doing good! i’ve just been swamped with work, so i haven’t been able to check up on here for the past few days 🤧 i hope you’re doing well, sweetpea 💞 what have you been up to? are you doing anything fun this weekend? aaaah i also screenshot to answer messages, too!!! :’) omg you have school festivals? :o that sounds like so much fun!!!! do you get to try foods from different countries? ah, it’s understandable that it gets boring though after attending so many times, but it must’ve been more fun than studying in class all day, right? :’)
asdljfhlajsdk omg i can only sing parts of despacito LOL i can already imagine this in my head, it must’ve been so much fun to see your friend perform :’) omg you sold so much stuff!!! and scrunchies are so cute! did you buy anything for yourself? 💓 i hope you went home and rested after that though, sweetpea!!! it sounds like you had a super busy day 🤧 oooh, i see! ahah yeah, nothing can come in the way of having good food!!! i sneaked a lot of food into class before too 😅
work has been a little tiring since i’m doing 10-12 hours a day since it’s busy season 😭 so i’m really looking forward to the weekend 🤩 only one more day of work to go before i can sleep in and rest!!!! 💘 ooooh, i see! that’s still very fun, like you make the class more lively 💓 and your teacher sounds like one of the fun types of teachers whom you can joke around with ✨
ooo i see!! what sorts of edits do you like to make? :o i really enjoy the songs!!!! i added them to my playlist, so i listen to them often as i exercise 💞and i will add chosen last to my playlist too, thank you, sweetpea!!! 🌸 AND PLS OMG AKJSDHFASKJDHFL YOU’RE TOO KIND!!! THANK YOU SO SO MUCH, HONEY BEE 🥺💝💞💗💖
alsjdhflkajshdlk lovebug, i’m absolutely positive you’re sooo stunning with or without filters!!!! 💗✨ thank you so so much, angel, life has been treating me well for the most part!!! 💟 and i get enough rest everyday too, so it’s been all good! i’ve been drinking lots of water since it’s 42 degrees here 🥵 and i have lots of yummy food at home 💗 i hope life is treating you kindly, lovebug, and make sure to also rest a lot, eat lots of yummy food, and stay hydrated as well!!! ily too, angel, and i hope your week is going well 🌷🌷
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I AM
I'M GONNA SCREAM ABOUT EVERYTHING I LOVE ABOUT THIS SO YOU B E T T E R READ THIS
ASAHI????? THE D E S I G N E R ????? YES PLEASE I AM I AM HELP YES ABSOLUTELY ALSO I IMAGINED THE DRESS THE SAME COLOR AS YOUR THEME HELP
*CLAPS* ASAHI IN A DRESS ASAHI . IN . A . D RESS . ASAHI IN A DRESS ASAHI IN A DRESS ASAHI IN A DRESS I LOVE HIM HELP I LOVE THIS HE'S SO IN CHARACTER AND HECHSHSHHS
SSSSSHHHRHRHHRHRHHRHRHRHRHRHHRHRHRHRHHRHR I AM SCREAM AM I BEAUTIFUL TO ASAHI I AM BLUSHING RN WTF I WANT TO LOOK THAT BEAUTIFUL GOODNIGHT I AM . HE SAID BEAUTIFUL. LIKE. I WANT. YES. juST. *CHEFS KISS*
YEAH ASAHI IF YOU KEEP BOOSTING IT I'M GONNA GET A GOD COMPLEX BUT KEEP DOING IT BC I LOVE YOU AND THIS WRITING IS REALLY SMOOTH
i request to know what "..." is . asahi my beloved
AGGRGRGGRGRGGRGRGRRGGR HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU WRITE HIM SO BEAUTIFULLY. YOU LITTLE AMAZING GENIUS HOW D A R E YOU WRITE HIM SO BEAUTIFULLY I WANT TO SEE HIS HAIR MORE OFTEN WOWOOWOW
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!SARA!!!!!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNEW THIS WHILE WRITING BUT SPRINKLING IN THESE LITTLE DETAILS AND THE NEXT ONE W HIS SMILE?????? UGH YES YES YES YES IT MAKES THE STORY SO MUCH MORE LIKE EASIER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH AND I AM ALREADY MARRYING THIS THEN YOU
HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME BLUSH I LOVE THIS BUT HOW DARE YOU I AM hhHSSNSNJJJRRRRRRRHHSHSHSHSHHSH
BRO DON'T TEST ME I WANT YOUR TOUCH TOO SHUT UP I WANT YOUR HUGS N I WANT YOU TO BRAID MY HAIR AND WAKE UP W YOU BY MY SIDE W H A T IS SO WRONG W THAT
HSAHASBASBHASBHASBHASBHABShABSHABHBSHHHSHSbHSCbJSKHYUEYEGYRKI17y8YO!(&*@^&**@&#^DDIYWYGO*&@OEIDUGYKUSCBHJS8&^(&&bSHABSAHSBAHSBAHSbahshaSHA*(WD&(*@&@(*#&*YDIUHCSBCHSBAHSb
(I HAVE AN IMAGE LIMIT SO I AM GOING TO WRITE IN WORDS)
“Shut up, Lev.” You kicked his leg, ruffling his hair. “Don’t act like you didn’t follow that girl from Italy around for a month, pretending you were over Yaku.”
“I am over Yaku. I’ve moved on.”
I AM. YOU SPRINKLED YAKULEV INTO THIS AND I AM GOING TO KISS YOU
It was undoubtedly a crush. You hadn’t felt this way since Kuroo Tetsuro in high school some ten years ago.
STOP CALLING ME OUT. STOP DOING THAT HHHHHHN KUROO BABY
“Are you interested in this opportunity?” the designer asked you, running his hand through his hair again. Ah, the move you couldn’t resist. Did he have any idea what it did to you? “I get it if you’re not, you have a good job at—”
“I’ll do it,” you interrupted him. “If you want me.”
“Of course I do. I — I agree, actually, that you make it come alive for me. I want you, if you’re willing..”
You pursed your lips, trying not to think too hard about how it felt to have Asahi Azumane say ‘I want you.’ “There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
I BOTH LOVE AND HATE THIS TENSION HELP I'M ACTUALLY GOING TO SCREAM YOU WRITE THIS SO SO WELL HELP I AM GOING TO HHHHHN H O W
I CAN'T FIT IN THE REST BC TUMBLR IS BEING A BUTT AND DELAYING THIS BUT ILY ELEK HELP
impossible.
characters┊asahi azumane, lev haiba.
synopsis ┊ chance brings you into the life of an upcoming designer. your best friend doesn't seem to like the idea of you chasing him, but to you, this guy is irresistible. maybe it's destiny after all — but you should be careful how you play with destiny.
word count┊12.3k.
warnings/content┊strong doses of both angst and fluff. body insecurity, broken friendships, fake dating, online toxicity. minor swearing (?). timeskip spoilers (?). possible ooc writing.
reader┊gender neutral pronouns, model. wears a dress, wears a suit later on.
note┊i hope you all love my excessive need for easter eggs, including a referenced ship, a cameoed character, and a strong allusion to spot on (an older asahi fic). also, an excessive need to tie loose ends that nobody is paying attention to (...). one more thing: thank you so much for 1k followers!! you guys da bomb!! ☽
Modeling was no longer as exciting as it had been, you thought to yourself, pulling your arms through the sleeves. As you lowered the hole for the neck over your head, you sighed and surveyed your reflection. The designer sure seemed to have an idea what he was doing; he clearly was ambitious with its shape but overall it had a pleasing appearance. It was lime green with dark aqua tones, slightly tighter around your middle and modest at the neck. Its waist hung at the same place as the rest, but a seam ran around it allowing the skirt to billow out slightly in gathered portions. You were never a fan of wearing dresses, since they never seemed to be tight in the right spots. They might look nice, but walking around in them with your thighs always seeming to rub together and the wrong sections of skin visible at your neckline was less than your favourite. Not that your preferences mattered; you were a model because you’d been blessed with a body that was ‘in style’ right now and you’d been told several times before not to allow your good luck to go to waste.
The green seemed to compliment your skin tone fairly well, bringing out some of the colour in your eyes and cheeks, but the shape was strange, reaching just above your shins with thick hems. It was only as you turned back to make sure you didn’t miss anything that you saw the wide deep turquoise ribbon. You tied it around your waist, and suddenly it looked right. Very right. It made you look just that much more skinny. You knew not to chase the appearance of being skinny, but it was second nature for you to suck in a little when you could. It wasn’t just you, lots of models of any gender — even those that claimed to be confident and comfortable with their body shape — did the same.
You peaked out of the changing area, seeing one model in a night-indigo shirt posing with her hands on her waist while the designer himself took notes from a few feet away, approaching once to measure the sleeves and pin something about the shoulders. Elsewhere, the other model was standing with a blue-lavender button up shirt, leisurely scrolling through his phone.
“Ah, Y/N, you’re ready,” the designer said.
His voice should not have caught you off guard. In fact, his appearance should not be doing to you what it was. You were around plenty of handsome people every day in the modeling industry, and a measly early-twenties designer with a barely kept goatee and hair in a manbun and soft, angular brown eyes was subpar in comparison to those. Or — this was what you told yourself as he reminded you his name and asked you how the green dress felt.
You cleared your throat and asked him to repeat his name — yes, you’d missed it, being distracted, and you were absolutely not asking so that you could hear him talk again. He spoke calmly. You’d only been in the same room as him for a few minutes, but you could tell that he was the kind of gentle and apologetic person that could not hurt a fly.
“Asahi Azumane,” he told you. “But please, call me Asahi. Does it fit okay? You make it look better than I expected it could, but I’m sure the hem at the end of the skirt is bothering you.”
“It’s fine.” You watched, taking a deep breath as he leaned close to you to adjust the belt. It was your job to give more feedback than that — but you found that your mind was blank.
“It’s not meant to be tied so tight,” he said. “It’s meant to be comfortable, like — a summer dress on a windy day, you know? For a hike or something. Nothing too extreme, of course. Is that better?”
You looked in the mirror, seeing the way the tightness had changed its shape — not in a bad way at all. Not only were you no longer suffocating, but you found that it did appear to be loose and comfortable visually as well. It didn’t entirely extenuate the hourglass figure for you as it had before, but you found that it highlighted your curves cleanly, especially your back. And, well, his description of the dress’s purpose seemed to fit well colour-wise and in the loose shape.
“If it’s for a hike as you said,” you advised Asahi, “then it should be shorter, don’t you think? Walking in dresses is quite uncomfortable and the length does not help that matter. Not that you would know that, of course. You’ve never worn a dress before.”
“What gives you that impression?” he replied, nodding at your earlier comment and scrawling it down. He looked up into your eyes for a second. “I found it fairly comfortable, actually. But then, you’re right, for walking it was a different sensation entirely.”
You’d been in the presence of many fashion designers over the last five years, each of which had had a large vocabulary and even larger pride. It was unlikely to meet a male that would have actually taken the time to wear something not publicly accepted — and even less likely, even if he was one of the adventurous types, for him to speak of it as if talking of the weather or a fond memory. It would have made more sense for him to talk about it like it was a big deal, make a production of it.
“That’s good, thanks,” he was saying. “Could you raise your arms for a moment please?”
You did as instructed. He measured your side from your armpit to your waist, and nodded. “Wonderful. Your body is beautifully shaped. I never knew this dress could look this lovely. Thank you for coming. You can tell the others we’re done; be careful, there are pins along the bottom of yours, although I’m sure you’re aware.”
So that had been Asahi Azumane. He didn’t seem half as intimidating as your junior model, Lev, had warned you. He seemed almost too nice and modest for the job. Where was his ego, huh? All he seemed to have done was inflate yours.
After changing back, you texted your agent and explained how it went. He’d wondered aloud to you before you three went about Asahi’s strange request — three models, but no specifications beyond that. You’d meant to ask Asahi earlier about it — only you’d been… distracted.
As you made your way out, you brought it up to him. He was folding the light blue shirt, and you tried to ignore his careful hands. “My agent wants to know why your request was so strange.” You cringed. It sounded rude. But it was too late now.
“Strange? What was strange about it?”
“You didn’t specify which models from our company you wanted, or even any measurements. Why not?”
“For fun,” he replied.
You stared at him.
“I’m kidding,” he chuckled, running his hand over his head in a way that was unfairly attractive. You should not be attracted to him right now. Why were you so aware of your face heating up at the sight of his arm? It’s not like you’d never seen a man’s arm before. You’d seen much more than a man’s arm before. “I’m working for a sort of — client, I guess, who wants me to experiment as much as possible. I’ve actually made very few dresses before, so it was pure chance that I ended up with you. The dress was what I had for your measurements. But I suppose I’ll be finishing it now that I can make the final touches thanks to you.”
He made it sound as if all you’d done hadn’t just been to stand in a dress while he did all the math and made the clothing himself. And he was paying you.
“Oh, I see.” You tried your best to focus on keeping your eyes on him instead of feasting on his appearance, but your peripheral was working double time. “I was wondering why you didn’t just ask for one model for an hour to do all the outfits, but I guess your goal was to try out as many sizes as possible?”
“Yes, exactly. But next time, I will be doing that — the one model thing. I haven’t decided on a size yet, and I’ve only just started on the sketches. By the way, Y/N, um, I really appreciate how efficient the three of you were.”
“Do you value your time a lot?”
“I’d say so.”
He was attractive, and he didn’t like wasting time? “In that case, I don’t want to keep you any longer. Good luck with the rest of your project and with your ‘client’.”
“Yes, thank you again. And — Y/N…” He paused, frowning.
“Hm? What’s up, Asahi?”
He opened his mouth, studying you. “Are you in town two weeks from now?”
‘In town’? It’s not like you traveled much. Why was he asking whether you were in town? What kind of question was this? What was going on?
“I mean — sorry, that wasn’t phrased right. I meant to ask whether you were scheduled up. Because I like working with you. Oh, that must also sound wrong. Sorry, don’t feel obligated—”
“I think I’ll be able to cancel anything if you need me.” You were bold. Your eagerness to work more with him surprised even you.
He thanked you, a smile on his lips. Cruel that he had such a nice smile.
—
Two weeks passed and your agent had received no message from him. You were sure of this, since you’d asked him many times to keep you updated and to check just in case. You half-wished that you’d just asked for Asahi’s number — but models didn’t just ask for designer’s numbers. As far as you knew. Although, at this point, you were willing to be the first if it meant being around someone like him again.
It was so frustrating that what should have been a momentary attraction became a full-fledged crush on someone you didn’t know whether you’d see again. And someone you didn’t know. You had barely exchanged one conversation with him.
But you wanted to talk more. You wanted to be around him. He was so — different. It felt corny — but when, a week later than expected, he did call your agent and ask if you were still interested in helping him out, you knew that there wasn’t any point in resisting the fact that he just appealed to you.
You learned a lot about him that day. He had done as he’d said he would; all the outfits were vastly different each, ranging from suits to robes to casualwear to even a ball gown. He told you that your body type was so good for each, and that he was glad that although several of his pieces had faults, you didn’t complain. But you had no reason to complain. You pointed out how it fit in different places overall, but his pure talent and passion for making clothes was enough to shut you up so that you simply watched him work.
The most nerve wracking part was when he paused to measure you or slip pins into the fabric or adjust the way it fit. He seemed to be very careful not to touch you if it wasn’t necessary, which was of course only expected of a designer, but you wouldn’t mind if he accidentally did brush his fingers against your side or back more. He seemed to be much more nervous than you’d originally thought. This was not an issue. It made you smile internally at the way he rubbed the back of his head while he thought, or the way you could see a slight flush on his cheeks if he was adjusting your sleeves or shoulders. He was so gentle, it felt like you were being groomed to go on a set, not being fit as if you were an especially compliant mannequin.
By the last outfit, with a wintery shirt you were certain must have taken him days to make, you finally asked him about where he’d come from. He smiled and told you about how he’d always been interested in it but it was only after a recent trip around the world that he really realized the potential in the fashion industry.
“But what’s your goal?” you asked him. “What do you want to get out of this? What effect on the fashion or modeling industry do you want to have?”
He paused mid-pinning of a sleeve. “I don’t know whether I really want to have an impact on the industry as a whole. I don’t think I can.”
You blinked. “You? You could do so much, Asahi. You’re different from all the designers I’ve met before, and that’s a lot. You could change so much. So many things need your touch.”
He smiled, not meeting your eyes. “I appreciate that, I really do. I just think that although it’s nice to think about, I don’t think many would be so happy about my style as you and a select few others are.”
“You mean they’re not ready for you.”
He chuckled. “I just mean that it’s … probably a waste of time to think I can make a big difference. I’m happy staying in the corner of it, being someone that a few people remember, making a few clothing items I enjoy.”
It felt like such a shame. Because he was so important; you were sure of this, despite having known him for a short time. Why didn’t he realize his own potential? “Are you really happy with this?”
Asahi met your eyes, choosing not to answer your question directly. “Are you happy with this, Y/N? Are you really happy with your looks being your resume? Isn’t it exhausting?”
You licked your lips, thinking it over. He made a fair point. You were used to being told that you were putting your looks to good use — or the opposite. It was never sympathy. It was always approval or disapproval. And, yes. It did get exhausting.
“We’re a pair, aren’t we?” you said. “But, Asahi, you do make it less exhausting. You have a way of making it feel like a pleasure rather than a job. You’re very professional, but you aren’t nasty for no reason. You’d be surprised how many people lack this. You’re just — you’re very humble, Asahi. Although I’m realizing now that maybe you’re just unaware of your own incredible ability.”
“In much the same way,” he told you, “I think you’re unaware of your beautiful appearance. I haven’t even seen you modeling for real. But you act so surprised when I compliment you. Which I don’t just do, you know. I’m not very good at complimenting people. Please, let me know if I make you uncomfortable, I—”
“You don’t. And it just feels genuine, you know? It doesn’t sound like a ploy to get me to keep working at one place or another, or to get me to do my job better. I like it. I like you.”
Oh, why’d that have to come out like that? But, well, there was no point in hiding the fact that you were just being honest.
Asahi stood in front of you, dropping your sleeve so that he could look you in the eye. “I wanted to ask, um… are you interested in modeling these for my client? I did make them for your size, and since you make them look better than they look on mannequins, maybe you could — but only if you want to, please don’t feel pressured to—”
“I’d love to.” And for the first time in your life for a modeling job, you meant it.
—
The Haiba siblings were two of the prettiest — and stupidest — people you’d ever met.
“You’re modeling for Azumane again?” Lev asked you. “Of all people, why him? He doesn’t pay as well as our company does. He’s young, too, right? Bet you have a crush on him or something, Cinderella.”
“Shut up, Lev.” You kicked his leg, ruffling his hair. “Don’t act like you didn’t follow that girl from Italy around for a month, pretending you were over Yaku.”
“I am over Yaku. I’ve moved on.”
“Oh yeah? To whom?”
“This is about you, not me, Y/N.”
“You’ve moved onto me?”
Lev’s face turned a shade of pink, likely out of frustration with you. “I will literally fry your elbow crack and make bread out of the juices.”
“Lev!” you snorted.
He was like a little brother to you — someone you could tease without feeling guilty and receive it back without guilt on his end. You couldn’t ask for a better friend. Unfortunately, being friends with Lev meant that you knew Alisa Haiba, who, along with being the sweetest person you’d ever met, was also the most beautiful. And she made you feel very bad about yourself appearance-wise, which was nobody’s fault but your own for still comparing your body to others. The two of you looked very different and you knew you had your own charms, but — there was still something she had that you couldn’t help but envy.
However, similar to Lev, she was a bit of a dork upstairs. After getting to know her, you became more grateful for her sake that she had an agent. She was capable — to a degree — but there were times where you wondered if she was really just a pretty face with air behind it.
Today, she asked you something that had you questioning your own sanity, however.
“If Asahi asks you to start modeling full time for him, would you say yes? Is that much different than Lev and the Italian girl?”
You paused to reflect on how she knew you would say yes. Darn Alisa and her romantic assumptions. “I wouldn’t,” you lied. “This is a much better job. Like Lev said, it pays better.”
“But for love?”
“That’s insane. I don’t love Asahi. I barely know him. I’ve only spent a few hours with him.”
“That’s all it takes…” she sighed, looking across the set at the director.
Airheaded, romantic assumptions. That’s all it was. Besides, Asahi would never ask you to be his full time model and help him design. You were useless in design. Well — you were useless helping him with design because you would be far too distracted to offer any actual advice. You shouldn’t waste your time daydreaming of this idea of spending every working day with Asahi, letting him and his gentle hands be near you, his calm voice talking about something he was passionate about, his brown eyes, his smile—
It was undoubtedly a crush. You hadn’t felt this way since Kuroo Tetsuro in high school some ten years ago.
But as ridiculous as you’d thought the idea was, it wasn’t as unlikely as you’d thought.
The small show seemed to hold a lot more pressure than you’d expected. You went back to help Asahi a few more times with more of the outfits, to work out final errors. Some of them he had to drop, which seemed to be hard for him to do and hard for you to watch since you both knew how much time and thought he’d put into each of them. But by the end of the week, they were all ready, and you were excited and very nervous to present them to his client.
The client, Asahi’d told you, was a picky designer and company owner that had seen one of his designs in an ‘upcoming fashion’ magazine. If you hadn’t heard it from him yourself, you mightn’t have believed that such a thing still happened — you always heard from your workplace people complaining that they still had to even bother doing photoshoots for magazines since the audience was decreasing every day. He’d managed to A, get his work into a fashion magazine, and B, have someone with a lot of authority see it and be impressed enough to get in contact with him and challenge him in order to test his skills?
Asahi Azumane really was something else.
Minus a slight panicky moment beforehand that the two of you both experienced, sharing looks of despair in both your eyes. You were already in the first outfit, and something’d gone wrong that he’d fixed at the last minute. He’d told you to think of the scariest moment in your life to distract yourself so that this didn’t seem so bad, but you were having trouble focusing on anything at all because he’d placed a hand on your shoulder and his hand was on your shoulder and it was very nice to have his hand on your shoulder. You both knew how important this was. For him, to possibly be picked up. And for you, to have Asahi want to keep you around.
Asahi and the client sat in a small dance studio at the back, facing the doors. Asahi’d picked the venue, saying it would save the most money. You asked him why he shouldn’t try to impress the client with a nicer place, and he said that anything would be better than his office and besides, the point was for the client to see his work and if it wasn’t good then the location didn’t matter anyways. You walked across the smooth wooden floor a few feet in front of their table in the first outfit, taking note of the mirrors all around you. It always helped you to be able to see yourself — you’d mentioned this to Asahi before. Had he thought of you while finding the small venue? No, but he just wanted you to do your best to heighten his chances, of course. You could feel your heart speeding despite this being something you were very practiced at, but after a look of gratitude in your direction from Asahi after a muttered comment from the client, you knew that no matter what happened, you just had to do your job and hope for the best.
By the end, you were quite tired, and as you stepped back into the room from the other door, Asahi waved you over. The client was still writing, like an adjudicator in a talent show. You sat in the chair next to Asahi, and noticed his wide eyes as he stared at the table. You hesitated, and then gently put one hand over his, nodding encouragingly. He returned a nervous smile and took a deep breath.
The client cleared his throat, and you quickly let go.
“Well, Asahi and Y/N. The two of you make a very good pair.”
The two of you blinked at him. “We make a—?” Asahi started, frowning.
“I would like to see more of your work, Asahi, with this model. You’ve created a range of beautiful clothing and having Y/N here is bringing it to life, and must have done the same for you as you worked on it.”
“But Y/N isn't my full time employee, they're from a different company altogether,” Asahi told the client, glancing at you.
“Then the decision doesn’t lie with either of us,” he replied.
Their eyes were on you.
“Are you interested in this opportunity?” the designer asked you, running his hand through his hair again. Ah, the move you couldn’t resist. Did he have any idea what it did to you? “I get it if you’re not, you have a good job at—”
“I’ll do it,” you interrupted him. “If you want me.”
“Of course I do. I — I agree, actually, that you make it come alive for me. I want you, if you’re willing..”
You pursed your lips, trying not to think too hard about how it felt to have Asahi Azumane say ‘I want you.’ “There’s nothing I’d rather do.”
—
Two years, six hundred shirts, fourteen shawls, eleven dresses, twenty-four increasing paychecks, one rejected confession from Lev Haiba, and hundreds of held-back feelings later, Asahi had gotten approved for the creation of his own brand, Gloriya. He told you it had been a team effort of the two of you and everyone else behind him, but you reminded him that his name was on everything for a reason.
Asahi had made modeling enjoyable. He’d given you something to look forward to every day. He made you learn how to love your body the way it was, and he’d unconsciously taught you about humility and non-destructive passion. He made you feel confident, let you know that you did a good job at what you enjoyed. What started as a crush developed fully into what you knew could be nothing but l0ve, and yet you felt like you were in a bad situation. He was your boss, essentially. He told you you were partners, but you were sure he just said that because he didn’t like attention. Understandable. That was why you were the model, after all.
There would be a launch party for the brand. It was being put on by the company, not him, of course. But he wanted to design something for you to show off at the event; it seemed like the only way he could get himself to look forward to it. Three week notice — it would be enough time, easily. He worked very fast. But you also learned that Asahi liked to make use of all hours of the day, including three AM. You wouldn’t have figured this out had you not texted him at that time on a whim to ask if he was awake.
That was actually a special night, more than you wanted to allow yourself to admit. He was the same as ever at the young hours, smooth hair loosely tied back, top buttons of his shirt unfairly unbuttoned. A look in his eye — you couldn’t tell whether it was inspiration or exhaustion when you stepped through his loft’s front door. Living near him meant more frequent visits, so the fabric and design plans sprawled across his sitting room did not catch you off guard. You felt more at home here than you did in your cold, empty apartment.
The two of you wordlessly headed to his balcony, and he sent you a half-smile as he leaned his elbows on the railing. The view of the lit up city was beautiful, of course, but when your eyes wandered into his, you preferred his beauty to anything else the world could offer.
“I was thinking,” you began, and then trailed off. How dare he be so attractive in moonlight? His eyes glittered a little with the dim light from inside. It was chilly, and you wished you’d remembered to wear a sweater like he had.
“Thinking, hm? I have to say, it sounds like a fairly vague reason to visit me at three in the morning.”
You laughed quietly, turning back to the view. “No, I… I was thinking about how… you remember that day we first met two or three years ago? And how you said it was completely due to chance?”
He hummed in acknowledgement. “I remember.”
“I guess there are a lot of things that happen by chance,” you said, “but it’s still incredible how that one moment led me here. Remember that green dress? I don’t know why, but I was thinking about it, and how green dresses in the Victorian era were literally poisonous because of the dye having … have you heard of that?”
“Didn’t it have arsenic in it or something?”
You smiled to yourself. The fact that he had heard of this — “Yeah, and I was just thinking… What if you did that, but with some hypnotic substance? To make me want to work with you or something.”
“I didn’t do anything like that.”
“I know,” you said and punched his shoulder, laughing. “Don’t react like that, it sounds more suspicious than it has to.”
He smiled. “It’s an interesting coincidence, though, isn’t it?”
“Mhm.”
He took a deep breath, tilting his head up to look into the dark, hazy sky. His side profile was nothing short of gorgeous. You’d seen it hundreds of times, but it was as true as ever, especially with the faint light highlighting the shape of his nose and lips. When he spoke, he raised his eyebrows, and his voice was soft and relaxed. “Are you happy, Y/N?”
You paused. Were you happy?
There were a lot of things you regretted. The poor handling of your Lev’s confession to you, causing you to lose two of your best friends. Going down a career path that only began to make you happy six years in, after five years of pain. Your inability to be honest with Asahi about your feelings towards him, despite assurance from several businesspeople of the company that if the two of you got into a relationship it would do a lot for marketing and add to the brand’s image, a unique opportunity in the professional world.
Despite all this, the question had been whether you were happy. There were a lot of things you weren’t sure about, but there was one that you were. Being with Asahi Azumane made you feel comfortable and very, very happy.
“Yes,” you replied. “At this moment, I couldn’t ask for more.”
The second part had been a lie. You could and would ask for more in only a few minutes. However, at this moment you were content. Seeing and being with the handsome and humble designer made you sure that at least at this moment, you were exactly where you were meant to be.
You shivered, and as if responding to an instant impulse, Asahi took his sweater off and hung it over your shoulders. It was cruel, the way his hand lingered on your back for a fraction of a second — as if he wanted to leave it there, but was too shy. And you wanted him to leave it there, but you were also too shy.
The sweater was warm. Asahi had been dangerous the way he had looked taking it off and more dangerous the way he looked in just an evening shirt with the top two buttons loose. He looked the sort of way you couldn't allow yourself to stare at because you didn't know what your imagination would do.
You suggested that you go inside so that he didn’t get cold, but he of course waved it off, prompting you to have to walk straight inside so that he'd follow.
You liked the smell of his apartment, and although being in the night was stimulating, it was more comforting to be in here where it was warm. He took the opportunity to ask you whether you wanted tea — as if it wasn't 3:30am.
“Asahi,” you said a few minutes later. “You want your brand to do well and all that, right?”
“Yeah?”
“How far are you willing to go so that it does?”
He paused. “As far as it's genuine.”
This should not have taken you off guard the way it had; you knew Asahi, you knew how pure even his business intentions were. But it made you less sure about your idea. “I was just going to suggest,” you said, sipping tea. You took the time to swallow before you continued. “What if the two of us became a couple like we were advised to?”
Asahi froze and raised an eyebrow. “You think that would help?”
You cleared your throat. This would obviously take some convincing. “You've mentioned before that you want the brand to be about bringing people together. People already know we've been partners for years, and people have begun to speculate whether we're in a relationship. And, you know, I don't think it would be pointless to at least make use of the concept, without of course involving emotions in it because that would be messy.”
“Oh, I see. So, you want to ‘fake date’, is that what it is?”
“No pressure to accept the idea. I'm sorry, it must sound crazy. I care about your brand, and I know how much you have invested in it. I'm willing to do anything you need to help it succeed, you know that.”
“I don't want to take advantage of you in any way,” he said, sounding sure.
“Remember, it was my idea,” you replied, even more adamantly.
He sighed, looking down at his tea. “I’m not sure about this. You’re right, it would probably help the image, but I’m worried about gossip. I’ve got a suspicious face.”
“A suspicious face? What on earth do you mean?”
He pressed his lips together. “Well, in high school there were a lot of rumours spread about me. I didn’t look like a student, y’know? I, even then, had the facial hair, the man bun, and I wasn’t exactly a small kid.”
“Nothing wrong with any of that. I’m sure you were just as handsome.”
He stared at you with a small smile. “Okay, let me see if Suga has any pictures I can show you.”
‘Suga’ was one of Asahi’s friends from high school. You’d met him before a few times. He was an unassuming elementary school teacher with feathery light hair and soft eyes similar to Asahi’s, but sharper. He had a way of talking that made you feel comfortable and understood, and had a frequently resurfacing smile. He had also flirted with you the first time you’d met, but had stopped by the second time.
“You love him, don’t you?” he asked you within the first moment the two of you had been left alone that day.
You gazed at Suga, unable to answer.
“Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
“What secret?” you said, feigning laughter. “I don’t have any secrets. You’re reading too far into it. He and I are partners, and that’s it.”
“Sure you have a secret. Only for him. It’s evident for everyone else, but poor Asahi’ll probably never think of it. Remember, you have to tell him yourself.”
“I have no intention of telling him anything.”
“You say that now. But what are you going to do in a few years, when you’re still hopelessly in love with him and he has no clue and every day gets harder to keep it in, but now you feel like you’ll ruin everything by speaking up? What about then? Won’t you wish you hadn’t wasted so much time? Asahi’s not very open about his emotions, but it’s not unlikely that he loves you too. It wouldn’t hurt to try. He’ll blame himself no matter what, but he’ll never hold a grudge against you.”
How incredibly ironic that you were thinking about that now, a few years later, while suggesting a way that the two of you could be publicly close. Was it really because you wanted what was best for his brand, or was it because you wanted an excuse to be near him?
“Here’s me in high school,” Asahi said with a chuckle, showing you a picture on his phone. He looked so young — obviously he would, but it still made you hide a smile by pursing your lips at his larger eyes and nervous expression.
“You’re so cute,” you giggled. “Same hair and everything.”
“It was a bit shorter,” he informed you as if it was a vital distinction, taking back his phone.
“Why don’t you ever have your hair down?”
He shrugged. “Guess it gets in the way.”
You set down your mug. It was almost four in the morning, you told yourself as an excuse, walking behind him and gently taking out his hair. You ran your hands through it, making a comment about how smooth it was. It reached a little further than his shoulders, and it was clean and untangled. He turned his head to look at you and you froze up, because with his hair down, his face was framed incredibly well, and he had the appearance of nothing less than an angel. You withdrew the hand you’d accidentally left resting on his shoulder.
“So that’s why,” you muttered.
“I know, it must look strange after being used to seeing me with it up.”
“No, Asahi, seriously, why aren’t you a model? I’m surprised you haven’t been street cast.”
“You know better than anyone that modeling isn’t just about looks.”
“That’s true. But it’s easy to pick up on the rest.” You didn’t exactly know what you were trying to convince him of. You were finally starting to feel dozy — and it was coming fast. You put your chin in your hands, trying not to fall asleep on his table.
“I’m doing everything I enjoy right now.”
“Right now right now?”
“Mhm, yeah.”
You hummed and your eyes fell shut, but you continued to talk as if you weren’t drifting off at that moment. “So, are we gonna do the thing?”
“You mean—”
“Yeah. Might as well give it a try, right?”
“We can decide later and make it public at the launch party.”
You sighed, your mind blurring. “Yeah.”
“You should go home, Y/N. You look tired.”
“Can I sleep here?”
He hesitated. “No, you shouldn’t. Here, I’ll walk you back.”
Maybe it’d been the warmth from the tea, or the fact that it was four in the morning, or just the fact that being in Asahi’s place with him calmed you down better than anything, but you were nearly out of it by the time he half-walked, half-carried you back to your apartment. You were too tired to worry about whether you were coming across as too touchy. In fact, you had one arm slung behind around his waist and a head resting on his shoulder as you walked towards your room.
You wouldn’t remember most of this. Or — well, you’d try not to. Because you didn’t want to live with the embarrassment and fear in the knowledge of your behaviour when the two of you were just partners and nothing more.
Surely everything would be easier if you publicly became a couple. Then, you’d have an excuse, but you wouldn’t have to involve feelings into it. It would be simple.
The event was large, sparkly, fancy — the kind of thing that you were accustomed to but would never feel at home in. It all felt very starched, and everyone wore practically the same outfits so there was rarely anything fashionably stimulating for you to focus on. Half the people at these kinds of company parties would wear the exact same thing at each one, and the others would spend their hard-earned money on outfits that differentiated only slightly in length or shade. And the decorations — nothing like the photoshoots you preferred. Perhaps a few candles and a red carpet, but as a whole it was very dull and overly formal for a hundred people who worked in an office who needed a day off.
In other words, it really wasn’t your style.
But the suit that Asahi had made was something else entirely. It was a tuxedo, similar to the design of many of the basic ones in the party, but with an intricate embroidery on the left pocket over your heart, and a deliciously long tail and sleeves that put you right into a Jane Austen novel. It still felt modern, of course, but — as you told him as you tried it on a few days before — it was “clean, humble, and warm. Like you.”
During the event, much of which you had to spend with stiff gratitude for congratulations through a camera smile, you tried not to think of the subtle occurrences beforehand you’d had with Asahi. It’d been nothing more than pausing while he straightened your bowtie, a shared look of anticipation and dread and something else, something that you could not name but you knew it was in both of your eyes at that moment.
And then the two of you decided that it would be now or never; reporters would be here to spread and market the brand, and they’d see this and incorporate it into their stories. It would set the brand apart, marking unity and teamwork and professionalism. It wouldn’t be difficult for you to act like you were in a relationship with him because you were attracted enough to him that nothing would feel too far for you, probably.
You hadn’t known what you were getting yourself into, evidently.
You told Asahi to wait twenty seconds and think about this. It was a technique you sometimes used before shoots to calm yourself down so that you could force a smile. You told him to look you right in the eyes for twenty seconds, and count in his head as you did the same. About ten seconds in, his trademark blush had surfaced, but by the end you were both feeling a little calmer.
Asahi was fine in meetings, by now, but in a hall filled with people in fancy clothes, standing in front of a microphone, he wasn’t doing as well. You could see his hands shaking, and you had an up-close view of his quietly frantic eyes as he struggled to recall his speech — which was now filled with repeated words and unfortunate pauses. At one point, he took your hand, and it seemed to calm him down a bit, which you tried not to read too far into because you guessed it was partly for your ‘relationship’ ploy.
“Again, thank you all for your hard work and encouragement in the development of Gloriya, for helping us get on our feet. I started out on my own, but after the joining of Y/N, and soon getting hired at this company, I realized my dreams had potential to become reality. And I could not have gotten here without Y/N and their constant support. They’ve always gone above and beyond, and… I’m…” He trailed off, looking you in the eyes. Here it came. “... I’m so happy to be able to call them my… significant other.”
Faint chatter spread throughout the crowd, and he put an arm around your shoulders. You had been expecting yourself to be able to handle this. But it felt too real. You stared at him, trying to wear a natural expression. It was fine. It was fake.
Why did it have to be fake?
What difference would it make if it wasn’t fake? Because no matter what, your emotions would be involved, you realized.
Of course, you were thinking of all this one second too late. It was public now. You wished for the opposite. You didn’t know how you were going to keep up, you thought, holding a smile towards the audience.
It was cruel how calm he looked, even though you knew he was nervous about being in front of such a crowd. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t having an unexpected emotional crisis like you were.
How dare he be everything you wanted?
—
You slept poorly; maybe a few too many unsatisfactory drinks, not enough interaction with Asahi after his speech. The two of you never got a chance to talk during or afterwards, so you’d call him this morning. You’d thought the night before had been “eventful”, but when you woke up to several messages from different coworkers asking whether you were okay, you realized that maybe your own emotions were not the only thing at risk.
Headlines were not “Gloriya Reflects Its Motto; Founder’s Relationship With Partner: the Scoop” or “Launch Of New Clothing Brand Has Both Customers and Investors Eager” or anything of the like. Instead—
“Asahi Azumane, Founder of Gloriya, is Suspected of Forcing Y/N, His Partner, Into a Relationship for Marketing Purposes” “Asahi and Y/N’s Relationship Not As Innocent As It Appears” “Visible Fear on Y/N’s Face: Why Investors Are Pulling From Gloriya” etc.
Oh, this was not good.
This was very bad.
You called Asahi — with no answer. Was he okay? What was going on?
How could this have happened? “Visible Fear” on your face? You hadn’t — you hadn’t looked that way, had you? You opened the article to see a photo of the two of you.
Your expression, eyebrows gathered — eyes fixed widely on Asahi whose arm was around your waist, mouth clearly in a fake smile — was very misleading. And you knew this was your fault.
You called Asahi again, leaving a message. “Hey, Asahi. I saw what happened. It’s completely because of my idea, I’ll take the blame and do everything I can to fix this. I’m coming over right now. See you.”
You hoped he wasn’t too mad at you. You didn’t have time for that right now. If he was upset with you, you’d have to deal with it after you fixed this. You cared about Gloriya as much as he did and you cared about all the time he’d spent working on it. You were not about to let your emotions and poor advice ruin it all for him.
You spent the walk to his loft reading more articles; indifferent ones and questioning ones and ones that took things way too far. Every word of them put you a little more on edge. By the time you reached him, you were absolutely livid, and when he opened his door, you, steam pouring from your ears and mouth in a line as straight as a board, with cold fire and focused indignance in your eyes, you declared with what had meant to sound firm but was clearly more unsettled, “You did nothing wrong.”
Asahi looked at you with a tired expression.
“Hey, did you sleep?” you asked.
He inhaled, continuing to study you with his soft — and sad — brown eyes. He said nothing.
“How many investors pulled?” you asked, stepping inside and taking out your clipboard. You hadn't been hired initially to be his assistant, but it slowly became something you naturally took on for him.
He sighed, following you. “Enough that we'll lose them all soon. There's no way we'll have buyers now.”
“Don't give up. We can figure this out. It'll be alright.”
A pause. “What can we do, Y/N? This is my fault. I made a bad decision.”
“It's not because of your decision. It's due to my actions and—” You cut yourself off from saying ‘feelings,’ not wanting to involve that in anything from now on. Why couldn't you just move on? You should have accepted Lev, just to get your mind off of Asahi. “Listen, Asahi. I have an idea, but it might be really bad. And it might ruin things for you more.”
“Do you think it’ll work?”
“Yeah, I think it’s worth a try if I can do it right.”
“Everything I’ve done so far has been futile. I trust you, Y/N, but it’s not your fault if it doesn’t work after all this. I’ve… already been working on my backup plan.”
“Your backup plan?”
“Working in retail.”
“No. No. You can’t work in retail, Asahi. You’ve come too far. Okay, it looks like I have no choice.”
“What’s your idea?”
You glanced at him, and then shook your head. “I can’t do it here. You’ll find out later, hopefully.” Boy, this was going to put you in a hard position. You were already picturing the press’s reaction — and his. You began to walk toward his door, but he put his hand on your shoulder before you could step out.
“Are you sure about whatever it is that you’re doing? It won’t put you at risk, will it?”
“Nope, not at all,” you replied, and left.
—
You’d been debating how honest it needed to be, wondering how much information to share, whether to keep it brief or not. It would be a delicate matter, and your feelings were already involved more than they should be. At this point, would it be wiser to keep it artificial, or go genuine?
You thought about Gloriya’s memo. ‘Authentic clothes, authentic living.’ The idea behind the brand was to create clothes that were comfortable for wearing, pleasant for appearance, and healthy for the earth. Asahi was big on not leaving a footprint bigger than necessary. He didn’t seem big on being remembered at all, leaving evidence of his existence. He seemed so careful about who he talked to. He was obviously nervous about first impressions, and —
You couldn’t just fake it. It would be harmful to him as well. Asahi was sensitive, though he didn’t talk about it. He valued you and your opinion, and it wasn’t fair lying to him no matter what the lie was about. He knew you were a bad liar. And the media, well, they’d probably form a theory about it, though they didn’t know you as well as he did.
So you picked up your phone and made a post more real than anything you’d said for years. Realer than your alleged ‘love’ for modeling. Realer than the way you’d rejected Lev Haiba. Realer than the clothes you and Asahi had been making.
“This post is not something I have been forced into. I am sharing this upon my own free will, because I don’t want this brand to get lost in gossip when Gloriya is all about authenticity.
“Asahi Azumane is not taking advantage of me in order to gain popularity for the brand. I’m the one who asked him to date me a few weeks ago because of my feelings for him; it was selfish of me, because I didn’t think about how it might be perceived. But I am wholeheartedly in love with him. I always have been. He’s a thoughtful, caring, humble man. One that I hardly feel like I deserve. But I am so grateful for the opportunity to call him mine.
“That picture of my expression that’s circulating has nothing to do with our relationship status, although it did have to do with what he was talking about. He mentioned ‘significant other,’ which was an unprecedented teaser for a part of the brand we haven’t revealed yet. It’s still in development, so I thought it was too early to talk about. Maybe he didn’t mean to reference it, but it caught me off guard. That’s all it was, a slight mix-up in the moment.
“I promise I’m okay. Thank you for worrying, but the internet seems to feed off of misinterpretations. He and I are very happy together right now, and we had decided beforehand to reveal our relationship at the event because it was the most convenient. I hope you can learn to trust Asahi again, as I have done without regrets for years.”
After a quick read-over, you took a deep breath and pressed the post button. Your hands were shaking, and you set your phone down and clenched and unclenched your fists.
Well, if this didn’t work, then you might also have to work in retail.
You took another deep breath, blankly looking at your feed. You would have to wait, of course, to see the results of your redemption attempt; your profile had a fairly high following, since you were a model and your professional involvement with Asahi had been known for a while now. It would only take a few minutes for your notifications to be flooded — and a few hours for things to (hopefully) turn around.
Something in the feed caught your eye. You picked up your phone, trying to understand why Lev’s face was in a video under a post about yours and Asahi’s relationship. “Y/N’s Ex Shares the Truth,” it read.
You tapped on the video, tuning into the horror that was Lev’s voice. “I’m really worried about Y/N,” he was saying. “I’ve always cared a lot for them, you know, and seeing them slowly grow unhappy as he came into their life was hard. I’d always thought the two of us were always meant to be, so when they left me to chase him, I knew it was bad news. There’s no doubt that he’s using money to string them along. It’s so sad—”
You shut off your phone, your jaw clenched. Oh, no, he didn’t.
This was worse than his horribly entitled way of ending your friendship. Lev Haiba was making things up — for what? Money? Pity? Was he trying to show you he’d been right all along? He didn’t know a word of the truth but here he had ten minutes of pure nonsense, posted for all to see, about you.
You had thought you could have forgiven and forgotten. Or at least moved on. That had been what you were trying to do. But now, it was hardly an option, and before you knew it, your shoes were on and you were storming down the street. You knew exactly where he lived, and it was a forty minute walk from here; or a half-hour run, one that you easily spent thinking about exactly what you’d say to Lev. The sky was grey. It looked like it might rain, but the streets were dry and gloomy, unwilling to give you the spur of energy you craved.
He opened the door to you with a blank face. “Why are you here? Is everything okay?”
You gave him a false smile. “Hm, Lev. Think about it for a sec. Why could I possibly want to see you?”
“Are you here to apologize?” His green eyes settled coldly on yours.
“HA!” you guffawed, shoving your phone in his face. “Me? How about you tell me instead why it says you’re my ex in front of millions of people?”
He took your phone from you, squinting at it. “Ex-friend.”
“Nobody’s going to think that’s what it means.”
“Well?” he was raising his voice, eyebrows gathered in frustration. “I don’t have control over it. They prompted me to say most of what I said. I didn’t mean to hurt you, Y/N, I’m just doing everything in my power to look out for you, and—”
“To look out for me?”
“And it’s not like I had many other options! You don’t answer my calls, and—”
“You don’t call me.”
“I have called you.”
“Yeah, what, twice? When you were drunk? Of course I’m not gonna keep answering them if all you’re doing is—”
“You never gave me a chance, Y/N! I—”
“You haven’t changed. You’re just as obsessive as you were a year ago.”
“And you? You’re the same. I was just reading that post about that designer, it’s pure b—”
“I didn’t lie once, like you did.”
“I lied about nothing.”
“You don’t know the full story. I love him. I—” You went quiet, not having intended to say that.
“You love the idea of him. And you deserve someone who will love you back wholeheartedly. Stop chasing him, Y/N. No matter how he feels for you, he’ll never give you enough. I’ve always been here for you. I’ve always told you that he’d just take advantage of everything you were willing to give. Here he is, t—”
“You don’t get to say that.”
“Your post is just revealing how confused you are. I care about you, Y/N. You look so sad, you know. Remember how happy we used to be? You teasing me all the time, I was sure that you were flirting. It should have been us, Y/N.” He trailed off,
Your mouth fell open, a sinking feeling in your chest. So this was what Lev had become. After years together, being best friends and trusting him and feeling comfortable, but now he was so desperate to pull you back into your own life that he was more desperate than you.
“I’m not sad, Lev. I’m tired. I spent all morning trying to fix the problem that you contributed to.”
Your phone began to vibrate in Lev’s hand, and he looked at it. This would have been a perfect opportunity for him to make one final cutting comment, because the designer in question was calling. But instead, Lev took a deep breath and wordlessly handed you your phone. He didn’t look away from you as you answered it.
“Asahi?”
“Hey, where are you?” his voice said.
You blinked at Lev, who was pursing his lips. “I’m…”
“I came to your apartment but you didn’t come to the door. Is everything okay? I read your post, and a lot of other people did too, because—”
“Please don’t worry about anything in the post. I did what I had to do.”
A pause. “Right. Of course.”
“Are people responding well? I haven’t had a chance to look, because somebody was holding onto my phone for five minutes.” You glared at the light-haired menace. He seemed to now appear less angry and more guilty, but he didn’t say anything.
“Yeah, Y/N. I’ve already received two calls of direct apologies to me. I don’t know what this is going to look like after it all unravels, but I have to say, you made a very good call. Thank you.”
“Of course. We’re partners, Asahi.”
“I’m grateful for everything you’ve done. I don’t know how you managed to come up with that post so fast, though.”
You considered this. It had only taken you about two minutes. “It wasn’t all lies. Except for the last part, obviously. We’ll have to work on the supposed ‘Significant Other’ thing. But with your skills, we can do anything.”
“And with your help.”
“Of course.” You smiled widely; Lev was watching you curiously.
“Can we meet? That idea actually sparked something for me, unless you already had something in mind.”
“No problem. I’ll be at your place in a bit. I am slightly stranded, but it should be under an hour.”
“Do you need a ride?”
“I can walk, don’t worry.”
“Okay. Get here safely.”
“Don’t worry. See you.”
After you hung up, Lev crossed his arms and gazed at you. “You two…”
“I don’t want to hear any more of your opinions, Lev. I’m done here—”
“No, no, I was going to say— you two work really well together.”
This caught you off guard and you hesitated, tilting your head at him. “I thought you said that he was taking advantage of me and that he’d never give as much as I would.”
Lev ran a hand through his hair, focusing on the wall behind you. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you need a ride?”
“I just declined one from Asahi. What makes you think I would accept you?”
“I wanted to talk to you more. And it’s raining, you can’t walk in this.”
You glanced out the window in another room, noticing the raindrops on the glass and the action outside. Now it would rain, of course. You looked back at Lev.
He was just as much Lev as he ever was.
He’d made so many mistakes. He’d hurt you in so many ways. But he was still Lev, your Lev. Your best friend. You’d missed him more than you’d ever admit, and to see him with a genuinely apologetic expression and nerves once again was tugging at your memories.
“Okay,” you said. “Fine.”
By the time the two of you were in his car, it was absolutely pouring. He had the windshield wipers on full blast, and was squinting to see. His car was the same as it had ever been; you tried to block the flood of memories, but it was in vain. The two of you blasting music with the bass pumped. Him driving you home after shoots that ran late. Sitting in the backseat with Alisa and teasing him about this and that. Alisa. You were barely keeping in touch with her. You wondered whether she’d ever made a move on your old director — well, she’d probably found someone else to fawn over if she hadn’t. You missed her too. You missed the Haiba siblings.
“You need glasses,” you pointed out to him.
“Yeah,” he responded awkwardly. “I accidentally left them at my girlfriend’s this morning.”
“Your girlfriend? So you did move on from me.”
“I never said I hadn’t. In fact, my feelings for you started to fade as soon as you were gone.”
“What about the drunken phone calls?”
Lev made a turn, his fingers gliding on the steering wheel. “Habit. Sentimentality. Probably my feelings of missing you blew up into something they weren't.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“It doesn’t make it okay, though,” he said firmly. “I shouldn’t have behaved that way toward you.”
You studied his side profile. “Why the sudden change in attitude?”
“The last thing I want is to be on bad terms with you,” he said.
“Is that why you were yelling at me earlier and—”
“No. I just said anything that came to mind.”
“You do that a lot,” you said.
“Well? So do you,” he said.
“That is true,” you admitted, sighing. Lev glanced at you, and you could tell within a moment that he had a lot he wanted to say.
“I’m happy for you two,” he finally declared. “You do make a good couple. I’m not jealous, I have no reason to be. I’m happy with my own life, and I shouldn’t be telling you how to lead your own. So, I’m sorry. I honestly just wanted to help you see what your situation was, but I didn’t see it myself.”
You’d been resentful towards Lev for so long that you’d never even considered that he’d apologize to you. You had so much power now. You could hurt him so badly, give him a taste of his own medicine. He’d been the reason for so many of your emotional problems, the reason you could never be honest with Asahi. All this time, you’d unconsciously believed him, even though he knew nothing, even though he had no right to tell you who you could or couldn’t love.
He was continuing now, not leaving you time to respond. Maybe he didn’t think you were going to accept his apology anyways. “You deserve the whole world, Y/N. I’ve always thought that. You are so loveable, competent, strong, and brave. The places you came from to get where you are, I— I hope you realize how incredible you are. How lucky I was to be your friend. I’m sorry I went and screwed it all up.” His voice broke and he pursed his lips.
The rain was falling hard, and Lev was going slowly because he could barely see ahead of him. Or maybe because he didn’t want this time with you to end again.
You sniffed. You weren’t going to cry. It was probably from running in the chilly weather. Definitely. “I forgive you for everything. And I’m sorry for being… impossible.”
“I can’t forgive you for being impossible,” he said. “You will always be impossible.”
You smiled. “That I will.” Your eyes drifted out the window. “By the way, he and I were never…” You cleared your throat. “We’re not dating.”
“You aren’t?”
“Never were. It was a ploy for Gloriya’s image.”
“Wait, but are you okay—”
“Yes. It was my idea.”
“Oh. Oh.”
“So it’s my responsibility to clean this mess up. But Asahi is blaming himself, just as Suga warned me he might.”
“Suga? Wait, you mean Sugawara Koushi?”
You paused. “Suga-what? I don’t think so? I never learned his full name.”Your eyes landed on a familiar building, looking glum in the thundering rain. “This is far enough.”
Lev pulled to the side of the road, studying you with his green eyes. His eyes had always been so friendly. You loved his eyes. You’d missed them. “Is it?” he asked vaguely.
You could feel the weight of the question.
But you had somewhere to be — someone to be with.
“Thanks for the ride.”
You opened the door, and the precipitation’s force caught you off guard as you stumbled towards the covered area outside the doors. You looked back, and though you couldn’t see well enough into his car, you could tell he was hesitating. But within a few seconds, you watched him drive off.
Oh well. Maybe he’d call you again. Sober, this time. And you could work through things. And you could be friends again, no more stupid feelings between you this time. Not letting his — or your — lack of self control destruct your entire relationship. Maybe things would go back to normal. You wondered what Lev’s girlfriend was like. You hoped with all your heart that he was really over you and happy with her. You knew that Lev didn’t get over people easily, after things with Yaku Morisuke had ended for him when he was younger. But you wanted to hope that things could be different, no matter how desperate of a dream that was.
You thought about the video of him you’d seen, the one that’d prompted you to run all the way to him to tell him off. Well, it could have been worse. But you were willing to run any distance to defend Asahi Azumane.
You started to run again, this time up the stairs to his loft. You could have taken the elevator, but you had more than enough adrenaline once again to run up eleven floors. Something in your chest was nearly bursting at the idea of seeing Asahi again, but you had no idea where it was coming from. Maybe it was rooted from the soreness growing in your side as you approached the fourth floor.
That was a lie; you were fairly sure but unwilling to admit to yourself that the source of your current anticipation was that post you’d made, that honesty you’d finally allowed yourself like a self-care routine you desperately needed. You half-expected your skin to be clearer than ever tomorrow morning. It hardly mattered how Asahi took it. You wanted to be open about it. Waiting all this time had hurt you more than you’d realized, and now — and now it felt as if the floodgates are open.
“I am so grateful for the opportunity to call him mine,” you’d said.
And — Lev had called you lovable. He’d told you that nothing he’d said was because he actually believed you and Asahi were impossible.
The only thing he’d called impossible was you.
Your foot landed on the final step to the eleventh floor, and you wrenched open the exit to the stairs. It was ironic to you how, as a model, it was your job to stand still or walk elegantly but your favourite way to release energy was to run. It rarely made for such a stylish appearance as the well-practiced strut, save the frankly becoming, wild look it gave to your eyes.
You were nothing like Asahi and you were nothing like a model should be. You were impulsive, vain, sometimes unintelligent, and deeply emotional. You’d come from many challenges, and you hated your job half the time. Except for when you were in the room with Asahi.
You knocked on his door. You had a key — somewhere — but knew it would be faster if he opened it.
When he opened it to you, you didn’t know what to say. It seemed that thinking about the gentle, thoughtful designer was much different than being before him. It was … much better.
“Hey! Are you okay? Did you really walk all the way here?”
You tried to tell him that Lev gave you a ride, but you found that you couldn’t. Instead, you continue to try to catch your breath, chest heaving, and grinned at him.
He didn’t say anything either, studying you with his signature calmness. It had always been easy to fluster him — and although it wasn’t always so visible, there was always a flush in his nose and at the tip of his ears. He was probably panicking because you were staring at him, as if you didn’t frequently stare at him. You were definitely panicking because you were staring at him. But you frequently stared at him, because you just couldn’t get over how much you loved his stupid face.
“About the post,” you said. “I meant it when I said I wasn’t making things up. I love you, y’know.”
The blush spread a little to his cheeks. “Yeah, I love you too, Y/N.”
You blinked.
“Um, so about your idea,” he said, turning and walking to his table the two of you often sat at to exchange ideas. You followed him, feeling somewhat confused. “‘Significant other.’ I love that name, and I know you came up with it accidentally, but… what about twinning but contrasting designs? I was thinking, if we—”
Had he not heard you? Or — maybe you just hadn’t said it hard enough.
“No, Asahi. I mean I love you. I love you. I am wholeheartedly in love with you.”
There was no going back now.
It felt like your life was flashing before your eyes as he turned back to you. If he was about to reject you — where would you go? Lev? You loved Lev, you were willing to admit that. But as a friend. Would he be there for you after everything? The two of you had just made up, or so it seemed. No matter what, you knew that this was going to hurt. This was going to break you. This was your moment, the one you’d put off for too long. If Asahi rejected you now—
“I — I don’t understand,” he said.
Your body flashed in hot and cold and you knew exactly what Lev must have felt like that day two years ago. How you pitied him, now.
You tore your eyes away from his and you ran again, this final time to the one place that never ceased to comfort you. Which was, unfortunately, not far. You pushed open his balcony door and stepped into the still pouring rain, letting it wash away the tears that had escaped. You shouldn’t cry. You’d placed too many expectations on him.
You placed both hands on the railing, smiling ironically at the view. The balcony made you think about the way he’d looked at you a few weeks ago. Cruel. You blinked — raindrops? — out of your eyes, taking a deep breath.
You squeezed your eyes shut, beginning to count. In twenty seconds, you’d go back inside and apologize for the mess you’d made. You’d turn it all around. You wouldn’t do what Lev did. You didn’t blame him for not feeling the same. You were partners — nothing less, nothing more. The public image said nothing about both of your inward feelings.
Thirteen. Twelve.
Eleven.
The opening and closing of a door. “Y/N.”
You didn’t turn. Your time wasn’t up yet. You didn’t have to apologize yet.
“I love you. I’m sorry, you caught me off guard. I love you more than anything. Please, look at me, Y/N.”
You turned to him. You knew your face wasn’t a lovely sight.
One.
“I’m sorry for forcing my feelings on you. I’m sorry for never telling you. I’m sorry for making a big d—”
I love you. He’d said—
You stepped towards him. Rain was splashing off of him, and you reached up and lightly cupped his cheek. He smiled at you.
“May I?” you asked, hoping he could understand what you meant.
He responded by placing his hands on your hips. His cruel hands. They’d been on your hips so many times, but never—
Never like this.
And he’d never kissed you, and definitely never like this.
Shyly. Hesitantly. But sweetly and with trust. There was no rush.
And right here, you were comfortable. Despite the rain running down the side of your face, despite your eyes still stinging a bit with tears, despite more adrenaline running through you than you had ever experienced before, despite being this new. It was perfect, safe, and wonderful. One of his hands gently held your face in place, and he only stopped kissing you when he began to smile again. You felt giddy, and you clung onto him and ended up hugging him to keep your balance.
It continued to rain.
“I love you wholeheartedly,” he told you.
“I love you.”
You could feel one of his hands lace fingers with yours, and he pulled away to look you in the eye, not letting go. “It’s cold. I’ll make tea.��
Your mouth twitched and you nodded. “So, tell me about your idea,” you prompted, following him inside.
“It’s no certainty that we’ll ever get to work on it.”
He was always such a pessimist. It made you want to punch him. And kiss him again. You weren’t too sure about the reasoning for the second part. “You’ve come from the ground up before. And this time you have me. You haven’t lost anything that really matters, no matter what happens from here.”
“You’re right,” he acceded.
“I always am.”
“I guess this means we don’t have to fake our relationship anymore?” he stated, although it was clearly an indirect question.
“Nope. Not that I was really faking much from the start. You know how bad of a liar I am.”
“Hardly. You had me ensnared.”
“When?”
He paused, the kettle beginning to whistle. “Always.”
notes (cont'd)┊thank you for being one of the 3 people who will probably ever actually read this. you are now one of my three favourite people :))) no but seriously, this fic was so much fun to write and i am absolutely whipped for both these men so it was hard to write a reader who had nothing but platonic feelings for lev. both these men fine as heck.
— also... don't be surprised if this is my last haikyuu fic. and also, do not be surprised if i continue to write hq for months. i really haven't decided, even now. but the time will come (the walrus said).
— again, thank you for reading. you are absolutely incredible. reblogs are greatly appreciated 'cause duuuude i devoted a lot of time to this 😋 ☽
#lgbtqueue🌈#ELEK IS SOOSSOO TALENTED HOLY COW#I'M GONNA SEND THE REST OF THIS IN DISCORD HRHRHHRHRRHH#ILY WTF
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Responses to {Part 20} I Won’t Stop You // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU Asks~
Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^
Anonymous said: About to go to sleep now! Can't wait to wake up tmr to your beautiful writing <3
Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy it when you get a chance to read it :D
@hemhings said: Oh my goodness it's Tuesday today! I'm super excited for this update! Thank you for writing I Won't Stop You💕💕💕💕
Yay I’m happy that you’re super excited! I hope you enjoyed it if you read it :D
@kookies-hoe said: OMG I JUST REALISED IT IS IWSY DAYYYY!!! I can't wait 😫😫😫💕
YAY! I hope you liked it my dear :D
@clara-licht said: In my timezone you always post IWSY on Wednesday mornings, and by mornings I mean like 4 or 5 AM. I usually wake up early on Wednesday just to read it 😂
Ahhh damn timezones, I’m really sorry about that! I feel bad that you’re waking up so early to read it :( But it means so much to me that you’re enjoying it and want to read it when I post it ^^ Thank you so much dear! I hope you manage to get back to sleep afterwords!
Anonymous said: It's still a mystery to me how you actually could make me anticipate Tuesdays
I don’t know how I do that either but I’m so happy that I can do that for you^^ *hug*
Anonymous said: It's 7:21am where I am right now and I have to get ready for school in 10 min so I woke up and was like 'fuck iwsy doesn't come out for another *checks world clock* hOUR!!' Now I have to wait till after school to finish it 😭😭 fuck you time distance -Tall anon
Hey tall anon! Ahhh that’s okay though because it’s still gonna be here when you get out of school! I hope you enjoy it when you read it and then you can relax after school :D hehe
Anonymous said: I live for you Jungkook fanfic, it's not even a fanfic, it's art, bless
Wow okay I’m blushin’~~~ you’re too sweet to me, honestly. Thank you so much..
@jynxy24 said: DID YOU SEE ABOUT JUNGKOOK RELEASING HIS FULL COVER OF WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE I'M SO HAPPY EVENTHOUGH THIS IS LATE LMAO Charlie Puth even tweeted about it!! I cried, ARMYs really do a lot for BTS oml I'm so proud!! (Even if Charlie mispelled 'Jungkook' for 'Jungcook', atleast he acknowledged our golden maknae!!!) BCZ OF THIS, I was just reminded of you cuz' you wrote the best Jungkook series I've read so far! CHAPTER 20 IS COMING TOMORROW AHHHHHHHHHHH Stay AWESOME as ALWAYS, Sara. Love ya!!
Yes I did! He sounds so beautiful, I love Jungkook’s whisper tone voice when he sings, it’s very emotional and sincere and I can really feel the emotion in his voice when he sings. And his pronunciation is perfect! And Jungcook LOL I saw all the memes of ‘Jungcook’ and it made me laugh so much (’: I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love! Thank you so much!!
@adoppelna14 said: Omg I thought my tumblr is betraying me cause there isn't the 20th chapter for I won't stop you yet but then I remembered that you wrote you gonna post it between 9 - 10pm and Germany is one hour later than the uk😂😭😭😭😭 ots already past 10 pm. I need to know what happens next though😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤
Ahh yes timezones can be so confusing! But yes! I update usually at 9.30pm UK time on the dot, but I always say between 9-10pm just in case some week I am unable to update at exactly 9.30pm haha :D I hope you enjoyed the chapter my love!!
@kpoperinthehoody123 said: Can't wait for vampire jungkook to come out @#%*£*+(%-££*''-;%;; Aiishhh I love your blog
Thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed it if you read it :D
Anonymous said: Wow. You are amazing. Your fanfic I won't stop you is the first that i read on tumblr, and the first that i loved. Thank you for your hard work. Thank you *bowing*. Stay hardworking but take rest too. Thank you again.
I’m not amazing, but I am so happy that you are enjoying the series ^^ Thank you so much for reading it and messaging me to tell me that you like it! *hugs*
@jungkookbangtaned said: Hey! I'm waiting for the update and I'm sooo eager to know what happens next!! Like I'm so curious!! One question: do we have to expect Y/N to get angry at Jungkook when she discovers he's a vampire? I love you and your story, you're amazing! Kisses
There’s no point in asking me questions like that my love, I won’t ever answer questions that will spoil the story so I’m afraid you will just have to wait! :D I love you too and I hope you enjoyed the new chapter if you got a chance to read it :D
Anonymous said: I hate you. You get me all excited with an update and there's so much comfort it makes my heart melt, even when you consider the circumstances. But then you end the update before any sort of explanation is given and I'm left without closure, impatiently waiting for next week because you have me crawling back for more every time. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Aw I’m sorry you hate me, because I love you very much c: But! In saying that, there was (as always) more lore that is important to the story in this chapter. Also, more background information on Jimin and Taehyung~ But I am glad that you will be back next week to read more! Thank you so much for reading it my dear, it means a lot to me ^^
@animeimmortal said: GAAAAAAHHH YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT I WANT TO SAY BUT OTHER THAN THAT I EFFIN LOVE THIS STORY AND JESUS YOUR WRITING IS FABULOUS HONEY THOSE CLIFFHANGERS WILL KILL ME ONE DAY ❤ ily ❤ ^^
*winks* ^^ Thank you so much for reading it and I love you too!! *hugs*
@mocking-butts said: I'm literally screaming at this chapter I need it to be next week oh my god~! Like I hope she stays I don't know what to do with Yoongi I'm oh lord and namjoon ahh!
Only 6 more days to go! c: hehe~ Thank you for reading the chapter sweets!!
Anonymous said: are you going to post i won't stop u pt. 20 today ?
I posted it last night, as always - 9.30pm UK time on the dot, as I have done so every week ^^
@kookies-hoe said: AGHHHHHHHH!!! Cliffhanger 😭 I WANT TO SEE THE REACTIONNNNN 😭 Can't wait for next week! Also, really Tae, pussy 😂 and Jimin is sooo cute I can't 😭😂💕 love your writing, have a good night!
Taehyung and his little pussy c: heh~ Thank you so much my love and I hope you have a wonderful day!
@adoppelna14 said: NOOOOO!!!! THAT'S SUCH A PAINFUL CLIFFHANGER!!!😭😭😭 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!?😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Because, that’s the way the story goes! ^^ Thank you so much for reading it! :D
Anonymous said: Omg the things you do to my heart!! I'm probs gonna die before it gets to next Tuesday 😂❤️ plz keep writing, your work is beautiful xx
Please don’t die! I’d be very upset if you did that :( And of course I will keep writing! Thank you so much for reading the new chapter :D
Anonymous said: I JUST READ THE LATEST CHAPTER OF IWSY AND IM SOOOOO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK
YAY I’M SO HAPPY YOU LIKED IT and I hope you will like the next chapter too c: Thank you so much!
@audreymv said: This is about to get intense. Like Mom is about to reveal alot of things and Jungkook might just lose her. I hope everything goes good. SUCH SUSPENSION MATE. I AM NOT READY. As usual. How long do you think this story is going to be, Sara?? Really loving it
I think the next chapter will be a chapter that everyone will have to read carefully and closely as there will be a lot of information - and that’s all I can really say on it :P I get asked a lot how many chapters IWSY will be or how long it will be and I just don’t know! There is still a lot to happen, so it won’t be ending any time soon. If I had to guess...maybe 6-7 more chapters? But I honestly don’t know. I have NO idea lolol You guys will know as soon as I do! Thank you so much for reading it dear, I hope you’re having an awesome day!
@ohheyitsebonyrose said: SARAAAAA OMGGGG I CANT WAIT ANOTHER WEEK FOR IWSY. It's captured me so much and has hit me in the feels. You're an amazing writer!
Only 6 more days to go! I’m glad it has hit you in the feels ;D hehe, thank you so much!
Anonymous said: holy crap i almost forgot why tuesdays are so special and i'm very happy now, thank you
That makes me incredibly happy to hear, thank you so much for saying that :)
Anonymous said: You know what. I'm not gonna read this story anymore until it's fully finished (I'm lying). My heart can't take all these damn cliffhangers😭 and then having to wait a whole week. I'm crying. Pls why do you wish to hurt me so?
If you wish to not read the story until it is finished then that is completely fine and it’s your choice to make! Cliffhangers are an essential part to writing weekly for me. It’s my technique I guess, and it always has been. ^^ Thank you so much for reading it thus far and I really appreciate it!!
Anonymous said: I have this feeling I'm gonna be terrified to learn Jungkook is a vampire but the naive part of me hopes that everything will be fine. ALSO CAN'T WAIT FOR SERRENA TO EXPLAIN WHY I AM VAMPIRE CATNIP! VAMPNIP!!
Vampire catnip...oh my god I love you so much? AHHHH xD That’s amazing lolol! Thank you so much for reading it and making me smile with Vampnip hehe :D
@doubletroublesince1994 said: You know, I always read vertically, but when it comes to you, I can't help but read every single word, trying to enjoy the moment while it still lasts :')) Seriously man you're the only one who ever made me do that (apart from Freud's 5 lessons lol)
I think it’s important to really read what I write sometimes tho because you might miss important lore or information that is essential to the story! I get some questions sometimes and I think to myself like “did this person even read the chapter?” cos I clearly explained it during the chapter haha xD But I’m glad it can hold your attention like that! Thank you so much for reading it because it means so much to me :D
@deangetoutofmyspleen said: sARA YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL AF I CANT WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK
AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH BABE AND I’M SO HAPPY YOU’RE ENJOYING IT! *hugs*
@mysr3 said: Saraa my heart break at the end TT JK character developed so much and Y/N is his everything. Y/N character also developed strong yet fragile. OMG I could feel the pain he was in when he begged for her love to remain the same no matter what happened. Also the parts where Jimin hugged her and his concern thought is touching. The pain in Taehyung thought where he afraid Y/N will hate him is so sad. Aww sweet Mugsy and little Jimin Taehyung moment is sweet. Well written, Thank you Sara ❤❤❤
I’m really happy that you’ve loved the character developments throughout, I really wanted to create a story with real depth and I’m glad it can be seen! Thank you so much for reading and enjoying this chapter cutie! It means a lot to me ^^ I hope you have a great day!
Anonymous said: SARA. AGAIN????? YOURE PROLONGING THE INEVITABLE! I NEED TO KNOW WHAT Y/N IS ALREADY OMG 😂 nah nah but in all seriousness, great work as always~ this should seriously be made into a book. Or a movie. Hot damn. Idk how you can write so well T.T I'm so jelly! - 7:45 Anon
What?! c: Did you expect him to just bring her home and be like ‘yo bitch I’m a vampire and my cousin slaughtered your parents’ ? hehe xD Thank you very much for liking the chapter, and I hope you’ll enjoy the next one too. And I’m sorry for the frustration it’s causing you but...that’s just the way the cookie crumbles! (or Kookie, whatever you wish :P)
Anonymous said: OH MAI GAWD!!!! The FEELS in IWSY part 2!!! (y/n) don't leave Jungkook! omo Sara you're such a good writer I can't even anymore! I'm both scared and excited for the next part because I think I might know what happens but at the same time, I hope what i think will happen won't happen. Just wondering, have you heard Jungkook's full cover of 'We don't talk anymore'? Anyways ily and you're one of my favorite writers!
Yay for giving you all the emotions and feels c: eheh thank you so much for reading it my love! And YES I DID! His voice is so beautiful and he did such an amazing job, I’m sure all ARMY is so proud of him for doing so well ^^ I love you too and thank you so much for thinking that about me :) It really makes me smile more than words can describe!
@ineffabl-y said: AAAAHHH I CAN'T BELIEVE I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER WELL FOR THIS PERFECT, GODFORSAKEN STORY 😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S SO GOOD ❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’ll take that as a compliment ;D hehe, thank you so much for reading it this week!! ^^
@jynxy24 said: I SWEAR TO GOD I SCREAMED WHEN IWSY CAME OMG SHIT JIMIN AND TAEHYUNG'S WORDS AT THE END THOUGH WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE ME SO EMOTIONAL WITH THEM WORDS AAAAARRGHHH Okay, rants over lmaooo The chapter was great, Sara!! You did another amaaaaazing job at blowing me away :3 As always, stay awesome and wonderful at writing. Love ya, Sara!!
*BLUSHES* you’re always too kind and wonderful to me Jynxy ^^ Thank you so much for your words that never fail to make me smile! I hope you’re having an awesome day and taking care of yourself c: I love you too!!
Anonymous said: LIKE WHY CANT EVERYDAY BE TUESDAY? I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. GAHHHHHHHHHH IM SO ANXIOUS!! Mom I'm not okay with your sorcery. Like what if Y/N leaves bae?? What if Yoongi snatches Y/N by her edges? WHY IS THIS VMIN FEELS PUNCHING ME IN NY THROAT WITH THE FULFFY GOODNESS. This story gives me heart palpitations cuz it just shakes me up. I'm so confused BUT Love will prevail and min motha freakin yoongi better back off Jungkookies girl or I'm coming to throw hands. I love you 💜~ LilKookie Anon
I wish I could make every day Tuesday for you!! Do you really think she’ll leave Kookie?! WILL YOONGI KIDNAP HER?! hmmm so many questions but mean author will not answer them! :3 heheh~~ Thank you for reading the story and enjoying it, it makes me so happy! I love you too my lilkookie anon c: I hope your day is going great!
@coppertopging said: You are killing me with these cliffhangers, Sara. Killing... me... slowly... *clutches chest dramatically*
Don’t lie, you’re secretly a masochist and you love pain. Am I wrong? *wink* Hope you’re having a wonderful day beautiful ^^
Anonymous said: Istg every single time a chapter ends I'll have a little rage quit (your cliffhangers kill me) and my parents are like 'wtf is wrong with this child?' But iTS WORTH IT. Chapter 20 was... absolutely amazing. You have such a talent for writing and I hope to write at your level one day. -Tall anon
LMAO ‘wtf is wrong with this child’ your parents are gonna throw hands at me if you don’t stop that xD lolol thank you so much! And I’m sure you write beautifully, so please don’t ever doubt yourself or anything like that! I still have so many things I need to improve on, so I’m not on any level or the likes haha ^^ Thank you so much Tall anon! Have a great day!
@wonderful39530 said: Y are you doing this to me? Everytime you put out the new chapter of I Won't Stop You I'm thinking this would be the chapter that she would at least give me a hint as to what makes her so special, then it gets snatched!! Uhh I feel like Jackson everytime they play what he considers cringe worthy. Y must u torture me so good like this?!! Stop it, no keep going, no stop, no keep going...ahhhh!!!!!!! So same time next week?! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
You’re just going to have to learn how to be patient my dearrrrrr! c: I think you secretly enjoy the pain. If I just gave you everything in one go, it wouldn’t be any fun now, would it? ;D hehe~ YES SAME TIME NEXT WEEK AS ALWAYS OF COURSE C: Thank you for reading it my love :)
Anonymous said: I lovee youuuuuuuuu💞💞💞 you're a great authorrrr😍 Love your JK fanfic thoooo (i wont stop u) u hve never dissapoint me in every chapter 😭 Waiting for a week is like waiting a month ☹️👉🏻👈🏻 Work hard author-nim !! Love from Malaysia 🤞🏻<my hearteu
I love you too! I’m so happy that you love the series and thank you for reading it :D Yay for never disappointing you c: That makes me feel really really happy :D Only 6 more days to wait so it’s not so bad eh? ^^ and wow hello anon from Malaysia! I’m always so curious as to where the people who read my fanfic are from c: Have a great day!
@deboracorrea25 said: OMG!! Do you want to kill me from curiosity? I dying to know what she is and what will be her reaction. You're such an amazing writer, and I'm so anxious. Hope that this week passes very fast. Thank you for writing this marvelous story.
Well, my intention was never to kill anyone. Maybe just seriously injure? c: huehue^^ Gah, thank you so much for saying such sweet and lovely things to me.You’ve no idea how much you made me smile :) You’re welcome and thank YOU for reading it every week my love.
@noceurash said: I forgot yesterday was Tuesday so when I looked and saw the next part of I won't stop you I was so excited omg. Your chapters just keep getting more interesting omg. Ily!!! <3
Thank you so much for seeing it and remembering it was Tuesday! ehe~ I’m glad that it keeps getting more interesting for you and I’m so happy that you’re enjoying what I post ^^ I love you too and I hope you have an awesome day!
@koreaisanaddiction said: SARAAAAAA!!!! I WANNA KNOW HER REACTIONS!!!
Then...I guess...you’ll have to...wait...for next week. *winks* muhaha~ *hides*
@theninjachan said: I personally think that at this point of the story, the reader is already smart enough to think critically and objectively about the problem that's ahead of her and Jungkook's family. I really do hope they stay together. I think it's natural for her to feel betrayed but I think she's going to think past that. Love really is the strongest force out there huh. Great job on Chapter 20! Your chapters come out 5AM in the morning in my timezone! I don't really mind though.
Words cannot describe how much I smiled when I read your message. Thank you for thinking like this, and that’s all I’ll say :) And yes! People have this mentality that hate is so powerful - and it is, of course. But love is MORE powerful in my opinion. And we all need a lil bit more love in our world I think ^^ Oh my god, 5am x.x I’m sorry that I comes out so early in the morning for you, I wish timezones didn’t exist agh! Thank you so much for reading it, and thank you so much for sending me this message. Have a wonderful day beautiful ^^
Anonymous said: Can your jungkook fan fic end up with a hapoy ending because I hate sad and unhappy endings pls I really love this fan fic I don't want it to go to waste
I’m sure you didn’t mean for your comment to sound harsh or rude, but by you saying that if it were to have a sad ending that my entire series would ‘go to waste’ is a little bit of an insult. I won’t be mentioning whether it will have a happy or sad ending; as I have said many, many, many times before, I never give spoilers or the likes. However, I appreciate that you like the series and that you are enjoying it, so thank you from the bottom of my heart for saying so. I hope you have a wonderful day.
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so i wanted to do sth more special for my friends aside from including them in a follow forever,so here’s another post for y’all! :D
in no particular order,
@blumiin:
nine!!you’re such a cutie honestly ily (let’s work on keeping up our snapchat streak hehe)~ it’s been awesome talking to each other,& also lovely to have someone to discuss certain things with in between screaming abt the boys.really glad i met you <3
@sugaidc:
lils!!i’m still amazed we met in a completely diff fandom and ended up getting into BTS around the same time xD all of this is not a coincidence,hmm? :p i’m really glad though!!i rmbr how at the start i was debating over whether i should really change my main to posting BTS & then we were joining nets together,& it was lovely to have you there together with me doing stuff like that.but that aside - you’re 1 of the sweetest ppl i know,& so freaking talented??you work really hard on the stuff you post & it shows ^^ you’re amazing & i hope we can meet irl someday!!ily <3
@ttaewo:
julia!!it’s still so cool to me that we’re in the same country,honestly xD anyhow i’m really glad i took the initiative to talk to you,bcos i can’t imagine nt having you in my life??thank you for always listening (well,reading my long msges..esp recently cos i’ve been screaming a lot abt nu’est :x),i hope you know you’re welcome to always do the same (be it fangirling or ranting abt other stuff).you’re lovely & i hope you have a great day hehe.love ya~ <3
@kiimtaehyungs:
aditi~ ^^ i know we haven’t been talking a lot on kkt bt i hope you’re coping well with sch & everything!!don’t get too stressed & take care of yourself!i find it so cool we both gt polaroid cameras around the same time,here’s to making good use of them hehe :) you’re a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you!i’m kinda surprised we clicked actually,cos of the age gap,bt i guess that isn’t really impt as much as personality & all that haha.ily <3
@jamesbcrnes:
mikki!!you’re the best,really - we met through spn & were together through marvel & star wars,& here we are,pretty much into completely diff stuff & we’re still talking :D i’m really glad to have met you,you’re such a lovely person who always listens to what i have to say even if you’re probably clueless abt most of what i talk abt.it was cool we both played mystic messenger & watched YOI though :p i think i do a lot of screaming lol so this is a reminder you can always return the favor,i’m happy to listen :) to end off,you’re awesome & ily <3
@roseatejimin:
lina!! :D you’re 1 of the sweetest ppl i know,really.i know we don’t talk a lot except to keep up our snapchat streak LOL bt i want you to know you’re awesome!! i hope you don’t get too stressed out with sch,rmbr to take care of yourself & get enough sleep & food~ i hope my insta feed (aka 99% food ahem) brightens up your day (or i should say what i reblog actually bcos BTS??).ily <3
@ahoneyyboyy @yoongsb:
nicole/ji~ ^^ i guess it’s a little weird to be combining a dedication like this bt i pretty much have the same thing to say anyway,so i hope it doesn’t make it seem any less heartfelt/sincere!we haven’t been talking much recently,bt i’m really grateful to have exchanged many long msges with you.you’re both amazing ppl & i hope you’re doing great!!glad to have met you <3
@cuteseokjin @jinandtonics:
katie/steph! :) i don’t really feel like we’ve had the chance to talk a lot,bt you’re both lovely ppl & it’s always nice to have someone to scream abt fic with (*cough* yoonjin) :p also fellow jin stans!!always a bonus.i hope you’re doing well & i’m glad to have met you!! :D
@kimvitae:
steph!!idk what to say here that i haven’t alr covered bcos our msges are ridiculously long (rip to kkt eating them) bt i guess i talk more abt fandom/life than actually any sort of appreciation so i want to say thank you for listening & contributing your views :p you’re awesome & i’m glad we met!!i hope you have better luck rmbring your passwords LOL & that sch doesn’t kick your ass too much.rmbr i’m always here to listen if you need it!ily <3
@taechimseok:
joyce!!did i ever mention the friend who got me into BTS has the same name as you?cos that still amuses me :p i guess we don’t talk a lot,honestly,bt i want to you to know that you’re a lovely person (who’s into an amazing amt of bands..i did multi fandom fine back then bt i can’t do it for kpop grps lol,too much commitment,so thumbs up for you managing it!) & i enjoy seeing you on insta (though you probably see me much more,really) or snapchat~ also thanks for the recreations idea hehe,it was an interesting way to spend a day :) glad to have met you <3
@poedameron @babydrriver @merlinn:
maggie/adrija/lauren ^^ i know we barely talk,except keeping up our snapchat streak (well,this bit isn’t applicable to lauren :p) bt i want to say i’m glad we met!you’re all lovely ppl & i know you’re busy with your lives,so good luck with sch & everything else!!i hope you’re all doing good & i’ll always be a listening ear if you need 1 :D p.s. maggie,you still have the honor of being the 1st (& only) tumblr friend i’ve met irl hehe
@matthewbane @sprinkleofharries:
sara/lola~ :) i haven’t talked to either of you in ages,honestly..idk if you even still rmbr me,cos my blog content has changed pretty much completely (i still post what i used to at a sideblog though!bt it’s nt active).anyhow,you’re both lovely ppl & i’m glad to have met you ^^ this is a reminder you can always pm me again - add me on kkt or telegram if you have either of those,maybe we’ll do a better job at keeping in touch on diff apps or pm me if you want to add me on insta/snapchat (sara i think i have you on both of those,though i only see you on the former sometimes xD).i hope you have been doing well in the meantime!! :D
@consulting-lawyer-boyfriends:
eileen :) idk if you still rmbr me,i’m pretty sure the last time we talked was months ago?it seems like ages ago when we 1st talked tbh,back when i was still into sherlock & suits..anyhow,you can always pm me again if you feel like it!we can always catch up on our lives,if nth else xD glad to have met you!
@otayurl:
gaia~ it’s still funny to think we met when we were into shadowhunters & then got into YOI & free! together.we haven’t talked properly for sometime,bt i hope you’re doing great!!you’re a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you :D ily <3 i hope your day goes amazing bcos you deserve it!rmbr i’m always here if you need to talk ^^ (add me on kkt or telegram maybe,snapchat is really a terrible platform for keeping up a convo i swear)
@kimtaehyungl:
sam!!hello neighbour~ xD despite the lack of actual convo - from what we’ve said to each other so far you seem like a lovely person & i’m really glad to have met you (& started talking outside of gcs lol i’m lowkey terrible in those).i hope you’re doing great!!you’re amazing & ily <3 i’m always here if you need a listening ear (LOL that rhymed omg maybe jin & his dad jokes infected me ahem)~
@orhchid:
jia~ :) i know we haven’t talked all that much but from what we have said to each other you seem like a lovely person (who is v busy xD).i hope 2017 hasn’t treated you too badly and that 2018 treats you well!!may it be full of smiles & happy memories & hopefully things aren’t too hectic.rmbr to take care of yourself & if you need a listening ear feel free to talk to me ^^
#mine.txt#those ppl i tagged who don't post kpop i'm sorry abt the header LOL#they're probably foreign to you bt BTS is amazing and i love them (also nu'est)#also i tagged all of you in a follow forever previously if you missed it it's the only other post under mine.txt on my blog#i actually meant to post this on my birthday then i dragged it to xmas and here i am posting it during the last day of the year instead#oh well :p
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