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all-hail-the-witcher · 5 years

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You guys are friendship goals how do you make internet friends saph

okay story time this is the progression of mine and @papesdontsellthemselves friendship (complete with pictures)

so once upon a time (actually it was november of last year) i was a Sad high school senior drowning my sorrows in my tumblr account as newsies royalty while i stressed over my college applications and auditions. most of my pastimes included 1. writing shitty fics 2. reading good fics and 3. listening to bad music from 2012. and i happened to stumble upon some newsies pics as one does by Someone called @papesdontsellthemselves or, as was listed in the bio “Mikey”

nevertheless i binge read all of them at approximately 2am on a school night and probably fell asleep in ap euro the next morning. i very much liked his fics. they were slappy. and i started to stalk his account, as any normal person would.

and once or twice or several times, as any person who runs out of ideas does, he asked for prompt requests. and me, being a sad fangirl of this poor bois account, decided to send him some. (he still has one that he never answered) and he wrote a few of them. this one was my favorite go read it (i think i inspired this one)

and then one day i opened my tumblr acc and THIS was waiting for me:

and i think i was like KJHSJHASLHJGDSLKH WH

then you know some time went by as time does and we sort of awkwardly coexisted. i actually was within like 10 minutes of him for a college audition before we knew each other that was pretty wild.

and then

the fateful day

i was sitting in ap stats, bored out of my mind, and decided to ignore the lesson on z scores or whatever it was cause what the fuck else are you supposed to do in ap stats and go on tumblr (seriously do not take ap stats its terrible, its an acid trip, i barely passed that class) and i had a message waiting for me from the one and only @papesdontsellthemselves that said something like:

“lol sorry to bother you chief but how to you put your tag lists on your pics so they dont take forever ooo sorry!!”

and i was like ssksksksjskskjsk why is tumblr royalty @papesdontsellthemselves talking to me, a lowly peasant, and i may have freaked out for a hot sec but then i responded something like

“i have it in a google doc and then hit the down arrow and the return key really fast lol”

(only recently he revealed to me that he didnt actually give a shit about my tag list (r00d) and that he just wanted an excuse to talk to me and That was what he came up with and he screamed after he sent the message cause he was so scared. also he was in theater with his weird shoeless teacher not paying attention. we’re good students i promise.)

and then we got to Talking and we just didnt Stop talking? like i told him about jeff, my shitty english teacher and he told me about his theater teacher who made them do 9/11 shakespeare and we bonded and then we sent each other pictures of our dogs:

mikeys dog, leela (aka leeks Big Chonk) ^^

my dog, lacey ^^

and we also went through The Awkward Stage

but then

a miracle happened

twas christmas eve, about like idk 3pm and the two of us were Awkwardly Conversing as awkward internet friends do and i was getting changed for christmas eve dinner (cause my family Extra and you have to be Fancy or face the Wrath of the Elders) and I'm digging through my closet looking for something Presentable when discover The Pencil Skirt.

it twas a rather unsuspecting article, green wool with faint plaid stripes, and hand-me-down from some aunt, and i decided to put it on because i had limited fancy clothes and didnt wanna do a repeat from a previous year. so i added my One White Button Down Shirt and some black dance tights and called it a day.

so then me, being me, was messaging mikey and said (keep in mind were still practically strangers and had been barely talking for a week):

“wow i actually look kinda hot right now like maybe someone would bang me. like, I'm not into that, but I look good enough that someone might consider it.”

yes

me, an asexual, said that to a total stranger on the internet.

what were you Thinking saph.

truly, i have no idea.

but for some reason, instead of being scared away (like a normal sane person should be) mikey laughed and we began calling each other daddy. i dont know okay, it was a wild experience. I'm not sure if it actually happened.

so, my skirt became The Daddy Skirt, a tragic symbol of our strange friendship, and the two of us exited the Awkward Stage.

truly it was an exciting time:

and then we gave each other nicknames. the sappy kind not the cursed kind. mikey was bean cause he was a coffee bean and cocoa bean addict. and i was originally shrub and then bear and finally peanut. im not sure why. he isn't either.

boi also Literally guessed my real name. like straight up. and i was like “o word.” it was trippy.

AND THEN twas a cold february day when we decided to exchange faces. i send him a picture of me eating a christmas tree. he sent me a picture of him in his kitchen wearing sun glasses frat boy posing. truly iconic.

we also liked to look up weird things late at night and have revelations about dumb shit, as seen by these Unexplained Screenshots i have on my phone:

yes those are real screenshots

then we decided to finally talk on instagram instead of this hell site and i was exposed to mikeys finsta *shudder*

nothing much else interesting happened until: College *dun dun dunnnnnn*

(except for that one time i had a mental breakdown at 1am and he drove home form some party to ig call me and tell me about the time his dog ended up in solitary confinement. a true g)

so for Safety Reasons, i finally gave milky my number when i got to school and we started texting and Facetiming which was a Trip.

i also sent him a Box of Cursed Content. he tried to send the box back to me in october and it still hasn't arrived. we think it may be in antarctica.

and then we tried to coordinate to meet up like three (3) separate times before We Got Lucky, the Stars Aligned, and we held hands in the back of an a&f

(we also hugged in a nordstrom in like the Fancy Clothes Section and the lady thought we were definitely dating cause we took pics of us hugging in the fuckin mirror pillar. also i almost lost my wallet but thats another story.)

and next year our wild journey will continue (hopefully)

in conclusion i love mikey and this has been a sappy post

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keelynoelleart · 8 years

Text

Steven Universe blurb

Man Sapphire is a (status wise) powerful gem. Like, she straight up lied to a diamond and got away with it! Peridot taught us that pearls are useless on Homeworld (and we've seen it to). Peridot also referred to herself lowly meaning she's useless too as well as Yellow Diamond pretty much thinking she's just another expendable gem. Peridot looked up to Amethyst and Jasper but both were useless in the eyes of Holly Blue Agate. Rubies are (stupid) foot soldiers. Lapis is treated pretty normally by Peridot but also bullied by Jasper. And I would assume Bishmuth, since she was just another worker gem, was with Lapis and Peri. But then you got Sapphire. Who, since the answer, was seen as a high ranking gem. One who needed guards and talked to her diamond and her diamond listened and cared(?). And we see with Holly Blue Agate that Sapphire is borderline INFALLIBLE! She lied and Holly believed her. She was caught in the act of lying so obviously (and had that ANYONE ELSE would have been punished) yet Holly blamed someone else. Even caught MID-SNEAKING AWAY, Holly still was like "No need to explain. I was clearly everyone BUT YOU!" Without hesitation, without doubt! Then, Sapphire lies to a DIAMOND! TWO DIAMONDS! And if it had been a wrong lie it may have been bad, but still it was a lie. Sapphire wasn't ordered or told to collect a human and still acted accordingly but blue diamond still seemed off put at first like "I didn't order you to do nothing." Sapphires are obviously expected not to lie but from the answers we saw that Sapphire came to earth to give predictions. But she was SUMMONED! She didn't just drop by to give a report. Now, Saph probably got some slack because of BD's down mood but it still just proves 1) How trusted they are, and 2) How no one would question them. It was just so interesting. No one has been that powerful status wise yet. All the crystal gems we always see are weak gems and a fusion. There's no status and no authority. Yet out comes Sapphire and all of Homeworld bows before her. It's a definite abuse of power thing that can totally be exploited but doubtful it will be (since without Ruby Sapphire freezes up). Idk, there's no real point to this other than it's interesting to me. I'm not curious as to other gems in the same ranking as Sapphire. Holly Blue is the strongest one we've seen (other than the diamonds) status wise and she doesn't even seem to come close to Sapphire...

#Steven universe #bloop moop a doop #rant?#blurb?#I want more geeeeeems

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