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sohemotional · 2 years ago

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Prompt: Santana "scopes" out Brittany while she's out on a date to figure out who Britt is dating and who is her type. Bonus points if she does something dumb and Britt catches her snooping.

Thanks for the prompt! I'm writing this AU based on that hilarious Petramos scene from Jane The Virgin. Also available here on AO3

"Hi Santana!"

The prettiest girl she had ever seen with sparkling blue, upturned eyes was talking to her with the brightest smile on her cute face, holding her fat cat in her arms like a baby. Santana froze, her lips parting and dropped the bowl of popcorn she was holding for her, Finn and their friends to have at their movie night. Santana was only six and Finn's older sister was already ten. Santana didn't know why Brittany was so friendly to her and Finn even though she was an older kid but the innocent blonde girl was always so sweet to her.

"Hm." She grunted, pretending not to care and trying to hide her embarrassment over spilling an entire bowl of popcorn. Brittany started to giggle as Santana felt a hot blush rise to her face. The taller girl leaned down and their hands brushed when she helped her pick up the popcorn that was scattered all over the carpet. She looked away from Brittany, still stubbornly trying not to show how captivated by her she was as she went back down to make a new bowl of popcorn.

Throughout their lives, she'd continue seeing Brittany when she was hanging out with her old friend Finn, along with Tina, Rachel and some of the other kids at his house. Santana was way too shy and stubborn to admit to herself how much she liked Brittany.

Santana made up her mind that she was not going to fall for Brittany. If there was one thing Santana Lopez did not do, it was vulnerability. The problem was that ten seconds in the presence of Brittany turned her into the biggest romantic sap and she wasn't going to allow that to happen.

Then everything changed when she was twenty-one. Pretending to work at an auto shop with her childhood friend even though she hated working on cars to impress a girl she certainly did not like was one of the dumbest things she had ever done but she had overheard Brittany fawning over some greasy mechanic dude that the blonde thought was so rugged so here she was on a Saturday afternoon, hating every minute of her life.

"Santana... can you actually you know, do something?" Finn looked at her in annoyance as she just stood by, filing her nails when the tall man had been working for hours at whatever stupid car thing he was doing. "Or leave if you're not going to actually help?"

"Alright already with the sass. Quit your bitching." Santana huffed. Finn shook his head, rolling his eyes as Santana looked on with undisguised boredom while he explained how to fix something to her.

"I'll be right back. Um... you don't need to touch anything."

"What? You don't think I can do it?" Santana growled at him, offended. "How hard can this even be? It's just a dumb car."

Finn narrowed his eyes at her, giving her a warning look before he walked off to make himself what Santana assumed was his tenth grilled cheese sandwich for the day.

She dropped the wrench she was holding on her foot and yelped in pain when the figure of a gorgeous, tall young woman with long blonde hair traipsed into the auto shop, swinging her hips seductively. Everything Brittany did was somehow so sexual and alluring that it made Santana's head spin.

"Hi Santana," She fluttered her eyelashes, sultry blue eyes trailing up and down Santana's form in a way that made Santana's knees tremble. "You look really good."

"Thanks," Santana mumbled, trying desperately to keep herself under control and maintain her grumpy facade. "Well I have to get back to work. Finn does nothing around here so it's always me who has to do everything."

"That's too bad. Can I hang out with you while you work?"

Santana couldn't stop staring at Brittany's legs in the tiny jean shorts she was wearing that barely covered them, biting her lip. She knew if she let Brittany hang out there for a minute more she was going to not be able to resist her. It was a good thing that Finn walked into the shop at that exact moment, raising his eyebrows at the sight of the two of them and interrupting the tension. Santana cleared her throat awkwardly.

"No... " She started to shake her head then pouted at the disappointed look on Brittany's face as the high-maintenance Latina shut her down. "Um, what I mean is... we wouldn't want you to get hurt and Finnocence gets all grouchy when random people stick around in here when he's working."

"Oh well. Guess you have better things to do. I better go get ready for my date then." Brittany shrugged her shoulders, flipping her hair as the smile returned to her face.

Alarm bells went off in Santana's head and she went into full panic mode.

"Your date? You have a date?" She practically demanded, following Brittany as the blonde walked away. "With who?"

"Oh, don't worry about that. You wouldn't know them," Brittany giggled softly again, unfazed even though Santana was completely freaking out. "See you later."

With that, the blonde walked away like a supermodel with her head held high. Finn groaned in annoyance when Santana began ranting to him at full volume.

"She has a date?!" She whined loudly.

"Yeah," He looked at her weirdly. "It's Brittany we're talking about... I don't know why you're surprised. What's the big deal?"

"How can she have a date?"

Finn stared at her blankly for a long moment. He wasn't sure what she was asking.

"Someone asked her on one?"

"How come she never asked me on a date?" Santana mumbled under her breath with a childish pout as she sat on the cement floor, pulling her knees up to her chest with a glum expression.

"Whoa whoa... you have feelings for my sister? When did this start?"

"What?! No way. Th- that's not the point and I mean... I don't. I don't get feelings like some kind of sentimental fool."

"Maybe she was waiting for you to ask her," Finn shrugged, still reeling from the revelation that Santana maybe had a thing for his big sister. His friend's denials weren't very convincing and her red face told a completely different story to what she was saying. "I mean... theoretically if you did like her, not saying you do! Brittany likes being courted. It's pretty annoying having all these guys and girls come to our house bringing her flowers or whatever else but she likes being spoiled."

"So she does like girls too... " Santana mused, embarrassed when Finn gave her a knowing look, a smug smile on his face and she realized she had said that out loud. "I mean, not that I care. I don't care who she likes. Wait, which guys and girls was she with? How many?"

Finn slapped a hand to his face, exasperated and trying his best to dodge her questions. Santana continued to grumble, not talking about anything except Brittany's date for the next ten minutes until Finn got fed up.

"I'm even working at this stupid shop for her." She groaned.

"Wait, you told me you wanted to learn about cars... " Finn furrowed his brows in confusion. "So that was just about you wanting to get with my sister?"

"That's... not the point," She looked away sheepishly, crossing her arms in a defensive way at the irritated look her friend was giving her. "What does her date have that I don't?"

"You know, maybe you're just not her type."

"Not her type? I'm every girl's type!" Santana declared, outraged by the suggestion. "You know what, if I'm not her type then who is?"

Before he knew what was happening, Santana marched off in an angry huff with a determined look on her face.

"Wait, Santana - don't do something reckless!" He shouted to her as she took off but it was useless as clearly her mind had already been made up and when Santana was in one of her chaotic evil moods, he knew nothing could stop her. "Hey... wait a minute did you do something to my car? Santana, what the hell? You're a terrible mechanic."

___

Santana got into her car and drove to Breadstix where she had overheard Brittany say she was going. She drove at full speed, darting across the lanes and cursing loudly at several other drivers along the way for being so slow. She had quite a few people yell at her but she ignored them as she had a one track mind. She knew she was maybe going too far but her curiosity got the best of her and she just had to know.

So maybe she had also changed into the sexiest black dress she owned and made sure she looked perfect but that wasn't because she was trying to impress Brittany or anything.

She spotted Brittany's bright Barbie pink car parked outside and got out of her car, ducking behind it as her eyes darted around to make sure the blonde hadn't spotted her. She kept leaning up on her tiptoes, trying to get a better look inside the restaurant and there were a few times when people spotted her but she ignored their judgmental looks because she was on a mission.

"What the hell? That's her type?!" She shouted, earning another weird look from a passing old couple. Sure enough, Brittany's date could have passed for Santana's twin brother. He had a similar brown complexion, black hair and was even slightly shorter than Brittany, wearing black clothes that looked incredibly expensive and a scowl on his face.

Santana fumed and cursed at the fact that she wasn't taller as someone walked in front of the blonde's table and blocked the Latina's view. Without really thinking about what she was doing she saw a tree nearby and climbed it at full speed. Santana's dark eyes widened when Brittany somehow seemed to catch her eye, noticing the girl in the tree and the blonde's lips parted in surprise. She cringed and tried her best to hide from view. Luckily Brittany went back to talking to her date so Santana breathed a sigh of relief. Unfortunately, that also meant having to watch Brittany look all affectionate with her date for what felt like a million years.

It was time to try something different. Santana's jealousy got the best of her and she winced as she struggled to get down from the tree, her makeup and clothes probably looking like a mess by the time she finally got down. She quietly slipped into Breadstix and found the smallest, wimpiest looking waitress, cornering them.

"Look, here's what's going to happen. You give me that uniform or I tell the health authorities about that time you guys had mice building a summer home in this place."

And so Santana was pretending to be a Breadstix waitress on a Saturday night, in the hopes of scoping out the girl she definitely didn't have a major crush on. Surprisingly, no one else who worked at the place seemed to notice anything odd. Brittany's date leaned in, giving the tall, freckled girl a quick kiss and Santana dropped the tray of glasses she was carrying in her devastated state, causing everyone to turn around and stare at her while the room erupted into laughter. Everyone, that was, except a certain pretty, blue-eyed blonde.

"Santana? Is that you?"

Brittany stood over her, helping her up. She was covered in various liquids and there was broken glass everywhere. Now this was embarrassing...

"Hey, do you even work here?" Sandy, a waitress who had been a long-time arch enemy of the Latina asked. "Wait a minute... I know you. I thought we had you banned."

"What are you doing, Santana?" Brittany asked with a small, amused and indulgent smile. Santana couldn't bear to look at her face, mortified as she realized that Brittany knew exactly who she was and what she was up to. She expected the blonde to be furious with her but instead she seemed to be stifling laughter. "Did you follow me here? I didn't know you were into impersonating waitresses or climbing trees."

"I didn't... I wasn't... that wasn't me."

"You followed us here? You stalked us?" Brittany's date on the other hand was seething. "Who pretends to be a waitress? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Hey, don't judge me!" Santana became defensive now, rolling her neck in her typical sassy way and squaring her shoulders. "So you're Brittany's type? She can do way better."

"You think you're better?" He scoffed and a crowd began to gather, staring at the two of them.

"Hey, you wanna fight? Cause I'll go all Lima Heights right here, right now!"

"Brittany, this is too much. I'm not fighting with some insane stalker girl and I'm leaving." He announced, glaring at Santana. Ha, good riddance, Bitch she thought to herself.

Brittany followed Santana outside after that incident and the dark-haired girl couldn't handle the way the blonde was staring at her with this knowing, amused glint in her eyes, a tiny smirk on her face as she just watched her without saying a word.

"Okay, so maybe I did follow you here... because your brother said maybe I'm not your type and I just had to know who your type was if it wasn't me... I don't usually act like this okay!" Santana finally yelled as they walked over to her car.

"Santana... " Brittany just rolled her eyes but didn't seem too upset. In fact, she giggled sweetly when Santana glared at her.

"Usually people stalk me... not the other way around! Girls fawn over me! I do not simp for girls. I don't act like a stupid romantic fool. Everyone's afraid of me because they know I can beat their ass!"

"Santana."

"Okay fine... I admit it. I really like you okay and I was super jealous because you were on a date with someone else so I couldn't take it anymore but that's not like me. I'm gonna go now."

Before Brittany could say another word, the black haired girl slouched away, overcome with embarrassment and got into her car.

----

Santana lay on the carpet in her apartment, trying to keep it together even though her dignity was in tatters. If the rumours about what happened at Breadstix spread around town, her reputation would be ruined forever. More than that though, she couldn't stop crying about how she had lost Brittany for good.

She wiped her eyes after sobbing for the fiftieth time, going to the door in just her crappiest looking sweatpants and dirty tank top when she heard the doorbell ring. She was so not in the mood for Finn, Mike, or Rachel's nonsense right now when her world was ending. She sobbed when she thought about the blonde girl again.

"Flopson... if this is about your dumb car it's not my fault it doesn't work anymore, the thing's a cheap pile of crap. Look Brittany hates me now and there's no point to living anymore so just leave me al-"

She stood in stunned silence, her eyes widening when the person who appeared at her door turned out to be none other than Brittany herself, wearing the skimpiest pink dress known to humankind.

"Hi... " She purred.

"Um, hi... " Santana didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe Brittany was seeing her look like a complete mess again and cringed, trying to hide herself from view. Her black hair was messy and she knew it would be pretty obvious she had just been crying. Brittany cupped her cheek, wiping away a tear.

“I’m sorry I look like a mess.” Santana mumbled, hanging her head.

“Huh? You look cute. Like cuter than you ever were before.”

Santana wasn’t entirely sure about that but something about the way Brittany was watching her made her feel comfortable being so dressed down around her. Still, she was waiting for the inevitable telling off from the blonde for how she had reacted to the date earlier. She had been such an idiot.

"You're really arrogant and intense," Brittany told her plainly. "Not to mention possessive."

"Hm, maybe so." Santana looked away defensively. To her surprise Brittany did not look remotely put off. In fact, more like the opposite.

"It's incredibly hot."

Now Santana was rendered completely speechless.

"I just want to say, what you did tonight was so adorable and really sexy. No one has ever been so into me like that," Brittany breathed against her lips, leaning in closer as she came into the apartment. "I love it when you're intense and when you're sweet like you are now."

"You do?" Santana asked, confused. Well this wasn't what she expected at all. "What about your date?"

Brittany shook her head, still staring into her eyes with that adoring look.

"He would never have pretended to fix cars, followed me, climbed a tree for me, impersonated a Breadstix waitress or fought someone in public for me. So he's obviously not the one."

Santana hid her face, groaning in embarrassment.

"Don't be embarrassed. I like it," Brittany smirked. "I've always liked you, you know, ever since we were kids. Today, when you were at the auto shop... you were just irresistible all sweaty like that. I've never seen anyone so hot."

"Really?"

"You're cute... but I don't know why you always run away from me or pretend to be all grumpy. Even though it's still cute when you do that. It makes it really difficult for us to date if you keep running."

"I'm in love with you okay! I just... I really, really like you." She cringed at how she sounded, knowing she was rambling but Brittany just seemed to bring this side out of her just by existing.

"Yeah, I know." Brittany giggled again as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck and running her fingers through black hair.

Before she knew what was happening, the blonde pulled her into a steamy kiss and Santana's mind went blank as she forgot about everything else other than Brittany's lips pressed hotly against hers. It was the hottest kiss Santana had ever had and it turned into a lot more than that when Santana pushed Brittany back on her bed, stripping her out of that tiny pink dress as the blonde’s hands slipped under the waistband of her sweatpants.

#Brittana #Santana Lopez #Brittany S. Pierce #Glee #Brittana fanfiction #my fics #Santittany Saturdays

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