#sans’s points are based on my own autism
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they both have crazy autism swag
#undertale#undertale fanart#sans#papyrus#sans undertale#papyrus undertale#sans’s points are based on my own autism#just felt like I need to make that disclaimer lol
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Tell me EVERYTHING about your HT sans
Me when I have a bunch of headcannons set on this one wip!
My hand writing was very poor so I'll write them out again + extras
- purposefully builds an unsettling, intimidating, & unfriendly aura to make ones he doesn't trust scared of him and uncomfortable
- takes a bit for him to warm up to people, and usually tends to stick to a select group of people (ex: fell, dust, and killer)
- sadomasochistic (self explanatory)
- seems very rude and cruel at first
- on the asexual spectrum, but doesn't bother with labels too much
- his right eyelid tends to droop when he rests his face, and cannot see very well out out of it. Most of the time it stays closed unless he forces his eye open ( aka ptosis)
- easily aggravated due to his head injury giving him chronic migraines. It's best to steer clear of his path when he is aggravated because he can and will hurt you
- he has borderline personality disorder, bipolar and commonly experiences Psychotic episodes.
- he struggles with major amnesia, due to his head injury and tends to forget days, weeks, and even years of his life. He has to write things down and get reminded of things a lot.
- also struggles with insomnia due to the headaches
- after starting to work under nightmare, nightmare gifted him an axe instead of the cleaver he holds.
- he struggles to speak a lot due to head injury. Speaking is exhausting to him and he slurs his speech. So he's selectively mute, only really speaking to make a pun, to people he likes, or to say some creepy shit.
- he mainly communicates with grunts, growls, snarls, random noises as he finds this easier than speaking. Gets his point across to when trying to scare someone
Cw for ed talk
- since he hasn't eaten in 7-8 years, when he joined nightmares crew, he was able to eat as nightmare promised to provide food to he and his au as long as he stayed working under him. He now struggles with keeping food down due to his body forcing him to be food repulsed to survive.
- his body went through a magic mutation process as a defense mechanism that made him larger and stronger, to be able to use more physical attacks rather than magic ones.
- he doesn't know his own strength sometimes. He tries to be as gentle as possible with people and things he cares deeply for.
- despite being very big, he's extremely stealthy and light on his feet
- will never and has never eaten a human ( this is cannon I'm pretty sure btw! ) no matter how much he craves he will never taste human flesh. Nor is he a cannibal. He does make threats and jokes that he's going to though
- he got autism just because I said so (personal hc)
- some of his monster mannerisms are based off of that of bears and wolves. He got the nick name "teddy bear" from dust and killer
- other nicknames being Butcher, Axe, Brute, Boar, Hog, ect
- he, fell, killer, and dust literally kiss okay/hj
#sans undertale#undertale#undertale au#horrortale#horrortale sans#bad sanses#horror sans#✦ . character info
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Autism and Amane
(CWs: Ableism, Child Abuse, Cults)
(Note: This is mostly based on personal experience and stories I’ve heard from other autistic people.)
It’s a bit of an understatement to say that I love Amane Momose. She’s my favorite character in the series, and I think about her constantly. It’s why I have this blog, I thought about her too much that I needed to write it out somehow.
A personal favorite headcanon of mine is the idea that Amane is Autistic. Mostly cause I’m autistic and I like head-canoning characters who I like with it. So now I'm just explaining why I find this reading of her character compelling.
Right and Wrong
There's no doubt about it that Amane is someone who is heavily constrained by rules and standards, and she expresses frustration towards certain rules in subtle or obvious ways throughout Milgram.
For example, the flag for vulgarity is the only one that is laying down on the ground in Purge March, something that is usually a sign for disrespect.
Implying that this is the rule that Amane breaks the most, something that is consistent with a lot of the other information we know about Amane. Since it seems like a lot of the things she finds enjoyable (cute outfits, amusement parks, performance art) are either neutered to the point of being boring or outright banned.
Outside of that, Amane doesn't operate on the rules of "normal" society. She operates on her own rules. Rules that are molded by the cult but still Her Rules. She does not care much for acting in ways that would be considered normal to people, and has stated that she is alright with that.
(T2 Amane VD)
Amane: Aren’t we the same? Me and Warden-san. You know, I’m aware that I’m out of the ordinary. That my environment was peculiar, and that everyone [else] is normal. Es: Amane… Amane: In fact, there have been people who said that to me. I’ve been told things like, “You’re being deceived.” “You can still make it right now.” “You’re crazy.” Es: … A: You are treating me as a child after all. Because I’m a child, you believe that I must have been brainwashed. It’s not like that. I, too— children, too, understand everything! Please don’t just decide that people must be unhappy.
While this is influenced by her abuse and her justification of it, even before this Amane has been very consistent on repeating this idea that she does not mind not being considered normal and is not going to change how she acts just because other people said she should, for better or for worse.
22/04/19 (Futa’s Birthday)
Amane: ……I’m fine. I don’t know what you’ve done or what it is you’re worried about, but I think if there’s something you believe in, you should stay true to it. It’s not something that should waver just because other people said something. I personally don’t plan on changing my own beliefs even if I’m told I’m wrong either……
That isn't to say Amane Doesn't operate by rules, she does, to an extreme extent even. Something that is even shown above.
But she operates on rules she personally believes makes Sense. If she does not agree with a rule she believes to be nonsensical she will express that. If she does she'll follow it to the letter, even if it harms her or someone else.
21/06/27 (Amane’s Birthday)
Shidou: Amane, I heard it was your birthday today. I asked Es-kun if we could get this cake to give to you…… Amane: I don’t need it. I’ll gratefully accept your well-wishes, but I don’t eat things like that. Also…… Shidou-san, I can’t say I’m especially fond of the way you assume that all children will love frivolous things like this. Shidou: ………… Is that so… I apologise. I’m sure everyone else will be happy to eat it, so don’t worry about it. Sorry for intruding. Amane: ………… ……cake……
She's very inflexible and dogmatic in that sense. But not just because of her cult. As stated she seems to disagree with her cult's view on vulgar things, and seems to have broken that rule multiple times before in the past and has gotten punished for it.
Not only that but she is insistent on certain ideas of "rightness" that are Outside of her cults worldview. For example, she consistently reiterates that children also have feelings and agency, to the point that's her Major focus in her T1 VD. Not her religion, not her crime, but her feelings about agency. The idea was just too important to her to simply let go.
Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).
What is a promise, if not a rule you swear to follow?
Good Interests
Now I would personally love to argue she has a special interest in religion as someone who was a kid with a Catholicism special interest (trauma is weird) but I don't think I have enough ground to argue that interpretation.
What I can argue, is a performance art special interest.
Amane seems to be deeply invested in performing arts. While it is a metaphor for how she's performing for her family and cult, outside of that she seems to actually show a genuine interest in it.
Amane is a bit of a critic. She seems to be a choirgirl that hates the songs she's singing.
T1Q14: Do you listen to music? A: Not really to songs that are highly entertaining.
Which implies that she knows what songs she Does find entertaining, and also that as established before Amane likes looking cute and pretty. She keeps on dressing herself in her MVs in cute outfits, and there is even a minigram about her being self-concussion about her hair and then getting it styled.
There's a Sincerity in these aesthetics, it really seems like Amane Enjoys Performing as an art form. The way she portrays her revenge is not her Stopping the performance, but for the marching band to break from the routine and to go full force into the "real world."
Not only that, but when Mikoto mentions he's an art student. Amane immdieatly asks him if he's good at drawing. The entire conversation shifting from their discussion about studies but about art.
20/07/15
Amane: It’s fine. If there are any words I don’t understand I can look them up later. An arts university, though…… Does that mean you’re good at drawing, then? It may be a bit rude to say, but that’s rather unexpected.
Her critic side even pops up here. Being surprised someone so "normal" seeming would be an art student.
It also seems like TV was a way for her to cope with her situation, judging by the final shot of Magic.
This stuff is so Important to her that it bleeds in Everywhere. Even when she tries to hide it to seem more like a "good girl." The visual ideas of performing arts and music come through.
As mentioned above, it seems like these interests were considered "vulgar" by her cult. It's not something a "good girl" like her should like.
It's something...abnormal.
Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).
Normalcy
Amane is not as good of a girl as she wants us to believe or wants herself to believe. She knows it. She knows it too well.
Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself? I promise! A pinky promise is a pinky promise!
She's promising that she'll follow the rules this time. Promising that she'll be a "good girl." A status that gets her a modicum amount of respect and safety.
If you become a bad girl, monsters will come out This is the magic that stops that from happening
However, there's a sense of impossibility to become one, as if she was made Unable to fulfill the arbitrary conditions that were set by the people around her. Amane can only pretend to be a good girl, to...mask as one per-say. But she cannot Be One.
Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl
Amane has been masking for basically her entire life, to various levels of success. To blend into the cult, and to seem "normal" in their eyes.
Except, she's inherently Unable to be one. It's not something about herself that she can change. To turn Amane into a good girl is to make Amane into something that isn't herself.
Amane isn't Human in the eyes of her cult, she isn't good enough to be one, she wasn't born in a way that allows for her to be Respected as one.
She's even Represented by The Cat in Magic.
Her feelings of pain and anger and isolation by being different are given to something inhuman. And since this is Amane's MV, this is partially an acknowledgement that she is not good enough to be a human
Not only that, but even in the prison she's isolated. The way she speaks is surprising for a child so the people around her aren't sure how to interact with her, and her unwillingness to act in a "proper" way gets certain people (Shidou) upset.
However, she doesn't seem to even view her seeming inhumanity as a bad thing.
Amane is consistently more frustrated at people not understanding her than her not understanding them. She cares about her feelings because no one cared to adjust to Hers. She cares about asserting her agency because if she does she'll be infantalized.
Because, In spite of everything, Amane deeply loves herself.
T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy.
Conclusion
I wrote this post partially cause I was inspired by this really good Dunmeshi analysis of Laios' autistic frustration. Which made me go "Wow I should do that but with Amane." So I did.
There's so much I can talk about really, but to me. Amane is a character who is in a world Hostile to who she is. Stuck between having to pretend to be "normal" for her own safety and hating having to do it because it's sickening and confining. Where her interests are controlled or considered "abnormal" meaning she is unable to indulge in them. Where the people around her can either demonize her or infantalize her for not fitting the standards they hold her to.
And, maybe it's just me. But I personally relate a lot to that, and I think there's something really amazing about how she's still able to love herself in spite of it all.
(And, I also think she's trans but that's a whole other discussion.)
#milgram#amane momose#cw cults#milgram amane#008#I made this Quick cause Ive been Busy and I really wanted to write this and get it out#its not as polished or long as a result but its also very personal so uh...yknow#my proofreading is always shit no matter what though so if you see a mistake dont be afraid to point it out#cw child abuse#milgram analysis#milgram meta
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Idk at this point but it better if I just make some face about my oc name Siti and Tiara from this Au call SakuraTale.
About the Au name SakuraTale:
SakuraTale is a universe where human and monster lives happily in the surface where there no genocide. And they have a Two lovely souls child name Siti and Tiara. Siti is the oldest and Tiara is the youngest.
In this universe, the Sans is not a skeleton more like human form and he is very high intelligence with communication abilities and magic abilities. And yet he doesn’t have a brother name Papyrus like how other Au have (for example, in the original Undertale, Underfell, and Underswap). So Sans was born the only child.
Here is the reference of Sans as a human being:
Sans magic attack and ability:
He could attack like how other Sanses could. For example, attack the human/monster with bones and gaster blaster. But he have more magic abilities to attack like fireball of Sakura aka cherry blossom petal fire that could hit also 66% of the damage itself. Another is that he could control the soul and mind control them.
Details about Sans:
He is around 587 immortals human beings who is forever young and wouldn’t age.
He is born on 03/28
He is a Aries
Have high expectations and intelligence
Friends with the villager and help them
Solve problem with simple steps
Could mind controls othe
Sans identity more important things about him:
Sans is a male character in SakuraTale
His sexuality is Demisexual and Bisexual
He have autism and ADHD
He hates spider and snakes
He have a fear of long words and over crowded places
Now up to the two souls name Siti and Tiara.
Siti and Tiara are upmost living immortal creatures to ever existed. They were born by magic of Cherry Blossom and Peach Blossom. Siti was the soul Guardian of Wisdom who brought all the human spirit of wisdom and knowledge while Tiara is the soul guardian of Faith. Tiara brought all mortal creatures all full good and bad luck of their Faith base of their choosing sinning or not. The two sisters are responsible to keep the Au save and have a peace and harmony with no genocide involving because they don’t want that to happen and have to destroy every single beautiful things that happen to their world.
They are world most powerful people alive in this Au.
Here are their references and feel free to draw them in your own style and credit me please and thanks.
Siti is the oldest Soul Guardian compare to Tiara. Tiara on the other hand she is the youngest Soul Guardian. Yet their magic are strong to reach each other in case of any danger is upcoming towards them.
Now let talk about Siti and her magic attack:
Siti could attack with her magic wand that took 88.09% of the damage. She would her her special attack if she have too but she don't have too at the moment. But if she lost her little sister meaning if you DARE to hurt her in any way, she would or require to use her special attack for the sake of her younger sister safety.
The weapon that Siti uses in the battle:
The wand that use by Siti have two type of magic. Undersea that is from the ocean and could used it on them to get 47% of damage. Plus she could use it against trouble or danger. Plus she have three different kind of wand. This one is made from the under the sea because when she was a kid, one of the bullies pushed her to the lake and drown her. but she mange to bring herself alive as she found a lost bottom deep lake.
On the next wand she have:
The one on the left give her the ability to fight in the battle with the magic of wisdom and fire of Cherry Blossom fire that took 99.9% of the damage. The one one on the right give her the healing magic to heal other and herself from injuries. The healing took 90% which is good enough to heal.
Up next is the details about Siti:
-Siti is guarded the Cherry Blossom.
-She was born on the 04/03
-she is a Aries
-Her sexuality is Heterosexual
-She is very serious lady but she is could be very sweet towards everyone even is she is a introverted person.
-She gotten bullied for many years and didn't tell her sister the truth.
-She is 1,890 years old in immortal age that she couldn't age and remain young.
Finally up to Tiara the youngest sister and Soul Guardian of Faith.
Tiara is a very loyal and happy little girl yet she is have bug worries for her oldest sister Siti. She don't know about the bullies satiations that is happening cuz she is busy with the villagers and other things she is taken care of. Tiara did ask Siti is anything bad happen yet Siti did lie to her and told her everything is fine and she just tripped or other excuse. Tiara did buy her excuse.
Tiara do not use magic very often but she fight with weapon very often. She use a scythe and a sword that took the damage by 77.90%.
Here are the reference of the Sword and the Scythe:
This is the katana the Tiara uses to fight in the battle. She have four different fight move when it comes to the katana and it shows on the photo. Her katana have purple magic flame to add 4% of the damage. She could fight with the scythe in fast speed of lightening.
The scythe is more easy for Tiara to be and could use in many attack movement to attack and it took at most 89% of the damage. There really no magic in this.
Lastly I will talk about Tiara details:
-Tiara guarded the Peach Blossom
-She is up most use weapon than magic in battle
-she was born in 5/28
-She is a Gemini
-She was the loyal and clueless about her sister bullying
-unable to help her older sister due of how much her older sister lie to her
-She is immortal at the age of 789 years old.
Well this took a toll and made it out a way to reach the end of this, Hope you enjoy my creations of this Au. Have a nice Day/Afternoon/Night!!!
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ok fuckers.
Info dumping about my aus time
Let's start simple.
A forgotten tale/scrappedtale:
An au I throw all my abandoned ideas in a sort of like an omega timeline but for scrapped ideas expect they aren't fucking safe from error because it's a normal au expect it's just a bunch of scrapped shit. The main guy of this au is the first fucker who appeared in the au named Scrap, who is a chill guy with ADHD and autism because his original au was called "Whatever the fuck is wrong with me tale" he is the proud father of two bitties named sunny and paint, they are very silly, Scrap is also a musician
Undermmo:
Chara, Asriel, papyrus, undyne, and alphys, well technically not them but I'll call them that, (note they're all human) after some crowdfunding make an mmo, all the characters in the mmo are based on either the staff behind on the mmo or people the staff know (like toriel in the mmo is based on asriel and chara's mom) but 2 characters are unique... sorta, gaster and sans are papyrus' characters family which papyrus is using as a way to cope because trauma, as the mmo continues to update gaster and sans being to become more and more aware... gaster is the first one to Crack and gain sentience (well some form of sentience since sentience in it of itself is poorly defined but anyway) but manages to stay on task and continue to play his role meanwhile sans is going slightly insane, then the 7 fallen update drops, bringing in 7 new characters making Chara's character no longer the only human, 6 of the seven are completely original to the mmo while frisk is based on chara and asriel's adoptive sibling, frisk almost immediately gains sentience thanks to the player (not the in universe player, the YOU sort of player) and they basically get to decide whether or not they want to follow along with the script of their life or find a new path for the story
Chara and the rest of the irl crew have their own plot line but it's mostly them being goofy and overworking themselves because their publisher is giving them strict deadlines. Also at one point irl toriel plays the game and says she really likes the sans character which causes a weird running joke in the office about sans fucking your mom.
Underspore:
Sansby au where snowdin is overrun by a fungal parasite and grillby's becomes a safe haven because the fungi is weak to fire, snowdin is put into quarantine separating sans and papyrus becomes papyrus was staying with undyne for "training camp" before the outbreak happened, sans get infected of course and the au is basically grillby helping sans fighting off the infection while knowing that ultimately sans is going to die. Sans dies in grillby's arms, blind and unable to move
Anyway Sans aka spore is really silly and strange while infected and I love him but he keeps fucking dying
Understage: pretty simple an au where fights are actually stage performances, almost everything is solved via improvised plays, you can choose to play along or actually fucking kill people which is really easy in the beginning but after awhile people stop performing with you and you have to chase them down and kill them as they struggle to fight you, anyway everyone has on stage personas expect sans who is one of the stagehands, toriel is retired, papyrus's fight is silly, undyne's fight is pirate themed, mettaton's fight is a musical (don’t ask how he manages to improvise an entire musical, he's gay) asgore is the only non genocide fight that is an actual fight but it still happens on a stage. Sans just beats you too death back stage because he's tired of your shit
Those are my core 4 non-multiverse aus. I would go into extreme detail about everything about these aus but I don't think you want to read all of that
Next time we cover my multiverse aus
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I’m going to be a bit controversial on the UT/AU community for a second, but…
We don’t need all these neurodivergent sanses..
I’m not saying you can’t give them mental illnesses or whatever, that’s all fine and dandy, however, it’s a problem when the sans’ entire personality is surrounding their mental illness..
Examples include: ADHD Sans, Tourette Sans, Dyslexic Sans, Autism Sans, etc.
These. These just seem very gross to just center around an entire person based off of a mental illness. If you want to make your sans neurodivergent, at least give them a personality.
Ink Sans is commonly headcanoned as autistic, though I’m not certain if that’s canon, it’s better than making Autistic Sans, who just only has autism as their personality. Same goes for Dust and Asylum Sans. Both are headcanoned to be schizophrenic (canon maybe, but I’m also not too sure), which doesn’t take over their personality.
At this point, I won’t explain further about what sanses are pretty cringe and which ones aren’t.
People may have their own personal reasons for making them and I’m not judging if that’s the case, but a lot of them that I’ve seen had the caption of:
“I hope no one has done this!” or “I’m glad no one got to this before I did!”
It’s just… really.. really bad..
Again, I don’t want to bring anyone down and force them to get rid of the characters, that’s not my intention. But, please, you have the ability to make them more then just their mental illnesses. Give them hobbies, likes and dislikes, dreams and aspirations! It’s going to give them more pizzazz, trust me!
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What is Life Beside the Tracks?
For years, I've been making a comic strip, drawings of my OCs, and other stuff related to my world. But, I never actually sat down to explain it all. So, I've decided to just make this post to explain...
Let's get start. Life Beside the Tracks is a anthromorphic comic strip set in the Central Valley of California. Think of the strip as either Napoleon Dynamite or King of the Hill but with furries. That's the strip in a nutshell. The setting of the strip is mainly the small town of Putnamville CA and the surrounding area. The strip doesn't have a focused main character; it's a assemble cast which means the focus could shift to different characters and settings.
The "tracks" part in the title isn't just a random world; it came from a childhood memory that serves as inspiration. I grew in a house near the San Joaquin Valley Railroad and would see the trains pass by. That, and watching people from a moving train, is where the strips name came from. And that's where the majority of the stories will come from; my own experiences in the valley. Also, the railroad in the strip (San Joaquin Valley Lines) acts as part of the setting in stories (the name is a straight forward identifier for the area). The characters are a mixture of people I've met or myself. This helps me write out the stories for specific characters. Some of which are entirely based on my own experiences with Autism. Anyway, I hope explains what my strip is about when I post them from time to time. I may explain more later, but I think this is a good starting point.
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[Image Description: an Undertale chat box with the name "Frisk" in its center, between a talksprite of Frisk's monotone face on the left and the EGG, a sun, and "WED", taken from the Dating Hub, on the right. End I.D.]
Frisk received a total of 59 votes, meaning that 2.2% of responders picked them as a favorite. However, these numbers only tell part of the story. In our analysis of which characters people create content of, Frisk was the third most popular, beaten only by Papyrus and Sans. This implies that a lot of fans care deeply about Frisk, but for whatever reason, they are not usually fans’ number one choice. This makes our data on them somewhat limited, but there are still some interesting repeated sentiments. They were also often brought up by people who claimed they liked too many characters to choose, so we analyzed those responses as well.
Many loved the ambiguous nature of Frisk’s character. The empty spaces in their characterization allow some fans to project onto them easily.
Some go as far as calling Frisk “a blank slate for the player,” although this is not technically true, as they are revealed to be their own person at the end of the True Pacifist route. This reveal was pointed out by a few responders, and many more love that their character raises interesting questions about how much of the game is based on Frisk’s choices, and how much is the player’s.
Frisk is also canonically nonbinary, which is very important to many responders. Our demographics analysis revealed that a very large portion of the Undertale fandom is nonbinary or questioning their gender, and it may be representation like Frisk that drew them into the game. Others noted being surprised by a nonbinary main character, and only realizing that being nonbinary was an option at all because of them.
There are also many fans who love to see the variety of fanon interpretations for them. Most commonly, fans pointed out the common headcanons that Frisk is nonverbal and/or autistic.
They tend to be demonized less than Chara, but many fans do find it interesting to explore their role as the catalyst for both the best and worst endings in the game. Many enjoy exploring the moral questions this brings up,
Many love that the few things that the game does reveal about Frisk show that they are a complex character with a distinct personality, although their backstory and motivations are never revealed. They are often seen as a cute little kid with an unhappy past, who makes mistakes even when doing their best, but, despite everything, continues moving forward.
Highlights: (under the cut)
I love how their personality is often portrayed in the fandom : very stone faced and ‘dry’ but silly, confident, and clever.
amazing child filled with compassion and determination
The interface between the player and Frisk makes for a fascinating moral question, about free will, and how much you can expect a child to do
Frisk was also my first real introduction to trans/nonbinary people, and some fanart/writing of them introduced me to what autism could look like outside of mainstream media. (I'm a trans and autistic teen, for reference.)
We went through what Frisk went through and felt at times determined and hopeless as them. They held us and we held them and after everything we’re still us.
i like the variability of interpretations for both them and chara. they can be sweet or an asshole (plus many many more traits) and it can all fit into canon!
Frisk may be more open to fandom interpretation, but honestly, that's probably why I like them the most. I like imagining a scrappy young kid doing their best, committing mistakes, living and laughing... I like the fanon character traits that have established themselves independent from what few canon facts we know. I like the few sprinkled-in tidbits we DO get. A character so malleable and yet with defining borders.
Because of the choices, everything Frisk does, can change the route of that world, and the little details that happen with their choices, I love that because, let everything open to happen, do you want to make friends with Toriel? you can, do you want to put hot cats on your head, well Sans do that for you, do you want to have a bad time? You can.
[Image Description: A wordcloud in the shape of Frisk’s full body sprite on a white background. Their face, hair, and feet are brown, their shirt is blue and purple, and their eyes and mouth are black. Their face has been left free of text. Some of the most visible words are: Frisk, Player, Love, Kind, Kid, Person, and Game, which represent the most common words in the essays people wrote about them. End of ID]
Read the full list of responses shared with permission by clicking this link.
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Furuba autistic headcanons
With it being April, or autism acceptance month, I wanted to finally drop my list of characters from Fruits Basket that I read as autistic! This is based a lot on my own experience, as well as that of other autistics I know or have seen talk online. I hope some people can get something out of it, feel free to tell me what you think 😊, though please refrain from getting upset that I would dare suggest your fave is autistic.
Hanajima
Before becoming able to better control her powers, she would be constantly overwhelmed by the things she heard to the point that she couldn't even really go out in public. This reads a lot like sensory overload.
Constantly picked on in school because other kids thought she was weird. Eventually reclaimed this weirdness and turned it into a whole persona.
Seems to talk usually in a relatively flat tone.
Had trouble socializing with no friends outside her family until middleschool.
Has a very funny, dry sense of humor that I find very similar to a bunch of autistics I know, including myself.
Hatsuharu
Listen. You have seen the funky little man, you have seen the way he talks, the way he acts around others. He is, and I mean this in the best way, a weirdo. I do not know how you could look at him and see a neurotypical.
Once again, like Hana, Haru is funny in a way that feels very autistic.
Very flat, dry, tone delivery. Sometimes just Says Things that make everyone else go huh??? Suuuuper blunt. Doesn't emote facially a lot of the time.
When this man sees a social norm he doesn't get he WILL NOT follow it. Pierces his ears just because his hair got flak, defends Momiji wearing whatever he wants because sometimes y'know the social rules are just dumb and don't make sense. Especially dress codes.
Sometimes says things not befitting the current tone of the situation.
Represses (masks) a lot of his emotions, leading to outbursts that seem uncharacteristic.
His main childhood trauma revolves around adults branding him as "dumb" and ridiculing him. Haru, however, is super smart and wise!! Just in an offbeat way that not everyone may get.
Machi
Reads as very "flat" emotionally to the point that others would call her boring. Also has a flat vocal delivery.
Relies on specific habits or ways of doing things or else she gets super upset (her hatred of imperfection.
Has trauma surrounding adults completely misconstruing her intentions and thinking she's doing something malicious when she's not.
Generally behaves in a way that's hard for others to understand, one of her formative moments with Yuki was him saying he wanted to "see how the world looks" through her eyes.
Once again, trouble socializing.
Tries super hard to please her parents but in the end they still see her as somehow inherently "defective."
Listen. A lot of this one and the last two are mostly vibes, hard to verbally define. You just have to look at them and trust me.
Tohru
Displays behavior very reminiscent of masking throughout the story, a huge part of her arc is about how she hides a lot of herself and has a very controlled persona. I think it would fit very well if she had other autistic behaviors that she suppresed also it helps explain why she is relatively socially adept, it's learned behavior to make people like her more.
Yes she is very good at saying what others need to hear, but especially early on she is pretty blatantly imitating her mother's words. She only gets better at getting through on a more personal level later on (see her with Rin and Akito v. early series Tohru). She does this by relating her own experiences, a very autistic way of showing empathy that often gets us written off as self centered. The way she relays things her mom said could also be seen as this, and she even worries at a few points that she's being insensitive for going on about things like that.
While emotionally repressed she is hyper empathetic and feels other's emotions so strongly she cries.
Her speech patterns are all imitated from her father and she often copies verbal things from others (see Ritchan-san). Noted in canon that people think her way of speaking is slightly off/not befitting of someone her age. Additionally, her father was polite more sarcastically, while she plays it straight and sometimes takes things very literally or fails to get the message, indicating trouble with reading tone. Has numerous strange verbal tics, including saying parts of her internal monologue out loud without context.
Very expressive with her hands including waving them around and flapping them up and down.
Does have a bit of trouble with accidental insensitivity in social interactions, like how she constantly fixates on her mom and realizes that might bug the Sohma.
Has trouble paying attention in school since it doesn't have much to do with her interests
Her only friend until she was a middle schooler was her mom
Has a pretty unique outlook on things compared to others, people seem to think she's pretty eccentric. There's always a "this girl is nice but in an odd way, she's our weirdo and we love her" vibe.
Sometimes has an "inappropriate" emotional response to situations
Has a lot of trouble with change, similar to Akito. Which oh, look at the time, next hc coming up.
But first, a disclaimer. It is cathartic for me to read Akito this way, but with that reading comes the baggage that she would, mayhaps, be showing a more negative side of things... It doesn't bother me since it's a joint hc with other characters and she does develop at the end but yeah, general villain hc baggage. This is in no way me trying to excuse her being The Worst being autistic doesn't absolve you of being able to do wrong . Also, a lot of these points can and do have other explanations related to her upbringing, but things can be for more than 1 reason. With that said, she really strongly comes off as autistic to me, in a way that's sorta hard to explain. I wrote a lot more for her than the other, both because I felt I needed more to convince people and that this headcanon was more sensitive and I needed to be careful in my explanation. Also hey! She's my special interest within a special interest.
Akito
Shown to have a dislike of summer weather due to heat and brightness, could be due to sensory issues in tandem with sickness things. Also covers her ears when people raise their voice sometimes which is partially her trying to shut down opposition but also 🤔 can read a different way. She'd also avoids louder Juuni like Ritsu and Ayame because she can't handle them.
Wears pretty much the same outfit every single day. Said outfit is also pretty loose fitting.
Always seen sitting in a pretty unconventional way. Evidence:
Of course this is also the isolated in a cult thing and there is a level of her purposefully doing things to intimidate but: doesn't follow a lot of social rules (overly touchy with strangers, legit doesn't get that what she's doing is wrong, ect.). Repeatedly confused when people indicate she should act otherwise without explanation. Has a breakdown when this comes to a head and approximately says that "they" shouldn't expect her to know "common sense" if "they" never explained it to her, that the way that she was was her "common sense."
Often talks in a way uncharacteristic of her age when shown as a child in a more faux mature/pretentious way. Might just be the translation and idk how to explain it but her speech as an adult also seems off from what one would normally use in conversation. Additionally, when she tries to fake being friendly in her intro chapter, it comes of as extremely stiff and unconvincing.
Generally displays behavior that could be thought of as childish as an adult, but a lot of this behavior could also read as autistic (covering ears, emotional deregulation and meltdowns, ignorance of basic social norms, ect.). It's also important to note that she knows that this behavior makes her seem younger and more helpless to the older zodiac and uses it as a manipulation tactic. Has issues regarding people treating her like a child or only hanging out with her because of pity. While she does weaponize it, we can tell that this grates on her, as seen with her finally blowing up on Kureno, which is partially triggered by the maids saying some sorta infantalizing stuff about her. Irl, a lot of autistic adults and teens struggle with being infantalized for our behavior generally or treated as little babies that can do no wrong. Even in fandom, you see people doing stuff like jumping to call autistic adult characters, such as Entrapta from Shera, "minor coded." It is also common for us to have at least one bad experience with someone hanging around us out of pity. This is something that really gave me a similar feeling in Akito's arc. She's not a baby and she can understand and do better if she is given the chance to learn and break from all the freaky cult indoctrination she's been subjected to instead of just being constantly enabled. In the end, a lot of her growth is represented by her showing that she is capable of changing and being independent.
Shows particular difficulty with socialization, often sits by herself spacing out at social events. A lot of her fear is rooted in the fact that she doesn't know how normal relationships work, becoming overly reliant on the curse because she doesn't know how to make friends.
Clings desperately onto the notion of being "special" and in some way superior to others to be worthy and to make up for perceived inherent "flaws." It's the nd gifted kid burnout vibes for me.
Easily bothered by things that don't bother others. Feels emotions very strongly to the point of getting physically ill and has bad emotional regulation.
Relatively good at reading others in an analytical sense (though has more trouble when it comes to seeing how they feel about her since she's wildly delusional) but brings up her observations in a very cold, detached way and hurts people even on the rare occasion she didn't mean to. Has extreme trouble connecting to others and understanding their point of view. This makes her come off as pretty unempathetic even though that might not fully be the case. Also thinks that people like Momiji are trying to look down on her when they try to empathize with her. A lot of why Tohru can get through to her is that she manages to convince Akito that she's not condescending by relating shared traits and experiences. As I said earlier, autistics often empathize by sharing their own experiences with someone, and I know I often have an easier time confiding in other autistics because of a fear of being seen as lesser by those that don't understand me. I think the connection between these charachters and the way that Tohru manages to reach Akito like that while others couldn't makes a lot of sense through an autistic lense!
Additionally, when Akito herself gets around to trying to help others instead of just projecting trauma, she tries to reach out to the old maid by relating back to her own experiences. This however, doesn't work.
Has "cold" emotional reactions sometimes even to things that do make her upset. For example, how sort of calm and detached she acted after her father's death can make her seem uncaring. However, we know that this event did mess her up a lot and she is still (poorly) dealing with a lot of grief from the death of her father years later.
Copies mannerisms from others, the most blatant example is with Ren, who she directly parrots lines from as a child to Yuki.
Partly just her posturing, but gestures a lot with her hands when she talks. Also seen several times clutching her hands in her hair.
Deals extremely poorly with the idea of things changing to the point that it is a driving force of the story.
Does not understand when people tease her.
Ect. Ect. Ect. Listen, I could go on for ages but just trust me, the mean gremlin lady is autistic.
#fruits basket#akito sohma#tohru honda#saki hanajima#machi kuragi#hatsuharu sohma#actually autistic#meta
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Tf albeist?
Autism?
Shit what kinda shitty drama is happening this time-
Okay if you don't like drama or talks about stereotyping minorities in media, do not read further, but I'm basically just going to weigh in (tw ableism, Lgbtq+ related phobias and minority steryotypes)
In that order- just kidding, b first. Please don't send any hatred at them if you do find out who said it, that'll just make them think they're more right and other people are attacking them for it, but you can read Jakei's post apologizing to get some context if you'd like.
Someone headcanons characters as autistic if theyre emotionless then got upset Ink's a villain in Underverse because making someone emotionless a villain is harmful to autistic people so Jakei made a post apologizing, despite him neither being autistic, nor being a villain. There's your summary, I'm not going to tell you who said it a. Because they have me blocked and I'm sure they'd start something with me if they thought I was stalking their blog (my friend just showed me what they said after it kind of became a public talking point) and b. So no one harasses them.
Now, I'm not autistic, let's make that very clear, but considering they said it's also aphobic, and I am asexual, and the stereotypes they're getting upset at for both are pretty much the exact same, I feel I can weigh in/personally understand the situation enough to explain the following:
Ink is canonly not autistic and while I support people identifying that with him, the person who criticized Jakei seemed to only assigned it to him because they think all emotionless characters are autistic coded (they said Fresh must be too), which is literally just a stereotype a lot of autistic people do not like because genuine emotionlessness is very different from neurodivergence, lack of empathy, difficulty processing emotions, or not feeling romance or love for other people. So I think that in itself should render their ableist argument null and void because it can basically be instantly uno reversoed with a, but wait, you only came to that conclusion because of your own ableist stereotypes!
While I do recogonize there are stereotypes that frame these types people as cold, emotionless, or even dangerous, there's many problems with thinking Ink is falling into this:
1. Ink is not a villain, or even dangerous.
2. Ink is canonly not autistic. Ink in Underverse isn't following canon and once again, still isn't autistic, and saying he is autistic coded because he is emotionless is in itself a harmful stereotype because no one is emotionless in the way these characters are.
3. You cant call a piece of media problematic for containing a stereotype for a minority that you yourself assigned to the character solely because you connected that minority to them due to the stereotype.
Like, if they wanted even a fraction of ground to stand on then maybe, Ink being asexual and being portrayed as villain would have at least made sense because he's actually asexual
But even then I think that's complete bullshit, he's not a villain, he's certainly not being portrayed as a villain because he's emotionless, or asexual, or whatever the fuck. No one's going to look at that and go, ah yes asexual people are evil because Ink is!
Like, we have a fandom that makes horrific murderers gay buddies that kiss each other every other day. There is a harmful stereotype in media where the gay characters are villains. But I, a gay person, don't find people making Killer and Nightmare make out, or putting together a bad sans poly, offensive or harmful because a. it's just a fandom. We have so many iterations of everything that it's very very clear no one's doing that *because* they think gay people are evil. Fuck, I would like to see Killer and Nightmare make out, I think Killer is a gay icon. And b. It's very clear no one's going to see that and go AHA I KNEW IT
GAY PEOPLE ARE MURDERERRRRS.
That's ridiculous.
And Jakei didn't even make Ink autistic!!!! Like, maybe, MAYBE if he genuinely was, they'd have a point. I'd still think it was completely reaching because again he's not a villain, but still, at least then, there would actually be SOME basis for this argument. But they've literally based the entire argument on THEIR headcanon.
They've made a problem that does not exist
A harmful depiction no one saw before they said anything because it wasn't there.
And are demanding an apology because they basically created an attack against their community themselves.
And I think it's ridiculous.
this isn't about whether stereotypes against autistic people exist or are harmful or not, because they do and they are! And I deeplty sympathize with that and believe it should always be a lens in which one can criticize media! But their argument lacks either of its main points being true. Ink is neither autistic nor is Ink a villain and saying he is then demanding an apology for it is just causing more problems than the actual depiction in Underverse.
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I noticed that I’ve been getting blocked by a lot of Ososan artists lately and... At this point I’m sure it’s because of bad rumors and misinfo getting spread about me in discord servers. I’m going to put a lot of this under a readmore because I don’t want to clog people’s dashes with this, but I really want to clear the air here as I feel like there are a lot of things being left out of the narratives people are telling about me, and also the fact this is still happening and has been for four-five years, isolating me from a lot of the ososan community and hurting me in a very deep way...
Now, first off, I’m not here to say that over the past 4-5 years I wasn’t immature and childish. There were many times where I was, even to the point the behaviors could be seen as abusive or toxic even if that wasn’t the intention. I was in my early to mid 20s and had serious issues with oversharing my thoughts and feelings with people I really only knew casually, usually to the point of making them uncomfortable. I would also use all caps a lot, not really realizing the effect it had on people, making others feel like they were being shouted at. I would also act immaturely when I saw that other roleplay blogs were getting more attention than mine, even though the ones I had were for OCs, which meant that of course canon characters would get more traction.
Again, I was very young and not very socially developed. I am by no means trying to use my autism as an excuse, but rather an explanation.
Prior to getting into Ososan around 2016, I did not have any “real life” friends, that is, friends I knew in person. I did not know anyone my age and socializing was, and still is pretty limited to just my immediate family. Almost all of my interactions were online, and even that I struggled with. I had recently gotten out of an abusive relationship as well, and was just starting college. I did not think about how others felt enough and was too concerned with saying my piece and sharing my own opinions, making everything about me or about how I felt, and less about the other person. Again, this is something I’ve struggled with for most of my life as part of my ASD, but I’m still not excusing it by any means, especially considering the fact that other people ended up hurt.
I think the main issue was how immature and self-focused I was if I’m being honest, and how I would tend to make everything about me and how I felt and what I made.
My intentions were always good, that never changed. But as people have stated to me before, good intentions don’t mean anything if the outcome is bad. My immaturity really ended up hurting a lot of other people’s feelings and causing a lot of resentment, and I am by no means saying that anyone has to forgive me or be “ok” with me.
What I do wish though is that perhaps people who I have had struggles with in the past could refrain from spreading biased opinions of me to people who have never even met me. I understand wanting to support your friends, and I also understand that when someone you know tells you someone is “bad news”, it’s natural to take their word for it, especially if they only show screenshots of me at my lowest rather than when I was trying my absolute best to be a good friend, despite my immaturity.
However, I’ll be honest and say that I do think that this behavior in general seems counterproductive and perhaps even concerning... If there’s someone that upset me in my past, I don’t tell others or divulge about them to new people I meet unless I felt they did something actually illegal. I remember misinforming about someone in the ososan community based on false claims and I still feel guilty about it to this day, so I’ve also been guilty of this in the past. It’s also important to keep in mind that if someone is really making someone out to sound terrible or horrible that there is usually a bias clouding their perception. I've sat and reflected a lot on my own biases these past five years in therapy, and at the end of the day, I don’t think most people have bad intentions, at least not lonely kids in a small fandom. I think it’s a lot of miscommunication, lack of confrontation, and fear rather than any malicious intent.
Because if there’s one thing I know that I’m not, it’s a manipulator. I straight up do not have the social intelligence for that. I would all caps, I would get upset and leave chats and worry people, I would go on rants that people couldn’t talk me down from, or get too emotionally volatile, or put my own emotional issues onto other people by panicking and venting and putting on a scary and upsetting scene, but I never tried to manipulate anyone or turn anyone’s friends against them. The only two instances I can think of that even come close to me “warning” anyone about someone (and not for blm*tsu related reasons) happened in 2018 and 2019, well after all of this was (I assumed) done with.
Most of my issues that people have gotten upset with me for was regarding my social immaturity, self-centeredness, altercations, public panic attacks, public mental breakdowns and a tendency to go off on emotional and heated rants, especially in public areas and in public chats. That’s why this thing about me being a manipulator seems misinformed to me, because I’ve never been great at DMing or talking to others one on one, I think anyone that’s known me will agree. Many of these altercations happened in public group chats.
I’m assuming that many of the bad rumors being spread about me are regarding my skype days back in 2016-2017, back before discord became the new norm for online chatting and servers and such, as well as a very specific “drama” that happened on anti-bl oso-twitter concerning people that had met in an osomatsu-san kin discord server (which I was not in or even knew about).
Essentially, I befriended some of these people on twitter through people that had been in my second skype roleplay group (the first one I made was in 2016 I believe). I was unaware of any previous dramas or issues and was even unaware that said “person of interest” was even upset with me or thought I was toxic or bad. I had figured we had just stopped talking due to naturally drifting apart. Of course, in my young and naive mind, before understanding “social media etiquette” I went to go ask them why they had blocked me on twitter (I had started being active on twitter during that time.)
And of course, in my immaturity, was freaking out and panicking about having been blocked by someone I thought was a friend to people in my second roleplay group chat... As always... Ugh.. It wasn’t anything malicious though, just confusion and me being scared I had done something wrong.
One member in the roleplay group though, who I guess was a member of the osomatsu-san kin discord, started going off about said “person of interest”, claiming they had gotten their friend into a car accident and that they had groomed minors. Another person in the roleplay group felt the allegations were crazy and unfounded and left. Meanwhile, I was just lost as to what was even happening, I wasn’t aware these people were this connected or knew each other and admittedly, did a pretty poor job as a mod/admin that I didn’t stop the discussions sooner.
I have no idea if the claims were true or not, I imagine they were exaggerated due to bias, I have no idea, but then the same person who had made those claims showed me screenshots that “person of interest” sent to their mutual friend about me. How I was scary and toxic, that I had upset lots of people.. That they were panicking that I even contacted them on tumblr with a friendly “hello!”
Naturally, I responded with confusion. Again, my autism makes it very difficult for me to realize when people are upset or frustrated with me, especially over text. At the time, I couldn’t think of anything I had done to upset them and was very hurt and confused, as our last actual interaction had been seemingly positive.
I did not try to turn anyone against them though. Here’s what actually happened: After being given this info, I also learned that there was a small discord group of the friend group that the person making the claims was from. I joined it hoping to learn more or get some sort of clarification only to find out that this entire group was very upset with “person of interest”. Like very upset. They made claims that this person lied, that this person liked to play victim as a way to manipulate others, that they had groomed two of the people in the group, that they had said unsettling things, that they would do strange and backhanded things ect. Again, I don’t know if these statements are true and I’m not trying to claim they are, I just know that this group of friends had been very upset with "person of interest” before I had even come into the picture. They were already planning on cutting them off!
I did not sway anyone or say anything, I was literally just there in the hopes of finding out if I’d done something wrong.
Of course, this doesn’t at all excuse when I was still friends with “person of interest” and subjected them to my barrage of emotional baggage and panic attacks. I just want to make it clear that I never sent anyone after them or tried to turn their friends against them. In fact, I even tried to help them when they came to my twitter DMs asking me for help. I was already incredibly scared of pissing anyone off in general, and tried to keep things peaceful on both sides. When I asked the second roleplay group if they’d be okay with them rejoining, it was a unanimous “no”... I distinctly remember offering to still roleplay with them one on one and to make a new group that they could be in (and this was even after I had been shown the screenshots of them calling me toxic, which I still wasn’t holding against them!), but the offer was turned down.
I’ve noticed this very distinct pattern over the years of me running into a lot of issues due to miscommunication as well. It was very rare that people would express with me how they were feeling, or when they did, it was usually during one of my panic attacks, which were often bad enough that my brain would repress the memories of what happened during them the second they stopped, and it was rare that I would actually go back and read the things I said. People have had a very easy time going to others and complaining or venting about me to friends, but have had a very hard time actually telling me these complaints themselves, as themselves. I don’t really blame them, as we were all pretty young and given how much I freaked out publicly, it would make sense to be scared of how I might react. Not to mention there were probably things in their own pasts that made something like confrontation difficult. However, what I don’t understand is why this would still be happening five years later... I would assume by this point people would have moved on, especially regarding spats within fandoms.
I hold no ill will towards people in my past who’ve gotten upset with me, I do not hold grudges, and for the most part, if someone wants to cut contact with me, I just accept it and move on. But now that I’m noticing that these false claims are being spread around to other people in the fandom, people who weren’t even involved in these situations, blocking me based off of... Stuff they’ve heard about me... I felt a need to say something.
Honestly, my biggest wish or hope is that, given that it has been five or so years, that people who have never spoken to me or met me before maybe give me another chance? If I have personally hurt you, I don’t want you to feel the need to reach some sort of conclusion with me, or forgive me, or whatever...
But at the very least, perhaps people could be more careful when sharing personal issues we went through with other people, people who know very little about me and who I am and only know me through the lenses and narratives of people who felt slighted by me.
I have changed immensely over the past five years, more than I can even describe. I am not the same person mentally that I was, I have had therapy, I have had help, I have reflected, I have become more sensitive to other people’s thoughts and feelings. I even managed to help a friend of mine get therapy! I was not perfect, I behaved irrationally, but I do think it’s important to drive home the fact that it has been a few years and that I’ve made a lot of progress and that as I’m nearing 30, I have mentally matured quite a bit.
Again, no one from my past has to forgive me, I am not here to dictate how people should feel about me. I am just here to try to share my own side seeing as how I am unable to join most ososan servers and communities nowadays, and thus have a harder time being able to get in contact with or reach others.
I’ve been dying to say something, but kept worrying that it would stir up negative feelings or memories for others, but it’s getting to a point now where I’ve felt so isolated and hated by the fandom for five whole years that I’ve actually started having thoughts of self-harm again for the first time in awhile. I’m not saying this to make anyone feel guilty, and I haven’t acted on the thoughts, I just need to be honest.
This sort of behavior on the internet; gossiping about others, spreading misinformation about others, using a position of influence within a fandom to keep someone from making friends in fandom spaces... Or maybe people don’t even realize how much their words can affect others? Especially if they’re well-liked and exist in a lot of spaces. I’m sure there are no actual bad intentions when people say these things or vent to their friends.
And while I explained that one specific incident in detail that was with a specific person, it is not the only issue I’ve gotten myself into over the years either. I simply spoke about that one as I am just guessing it’s the big reason a lot of this is still going on to this day. I behaved poorly enough in the past that separate groups of people have ended up mad at me, regardless of even knowing each other. I was incredibly troubled, dealing with the aftermath of an abusive relationship, overworked with my animation assignments, and incredibly clueless in social situations or trying to relate to others. Again, these aren’t excuses... But explanations. Mentally ill people are not well, that’s why it’s an illness. In 2016-2017, I was at the lowest of my low, and continued to be until around the Fall of 2019. I have also matured significantly since, and have been working with a far more effective therapist as of late 2018, which I think is why I had such a positive change by 2019, as well as finding wonderful and supportive friends who truly care about me.
I know this is getting really long, too long honestly, but I really needed to get this off my chest...
I’m trying to decide whether or not this will be one of my final posts on tumblr as a whole, as I don’t think I will be able to participate in enjoying ososan publicly with how isolated I’ve been over the years by various groups and people; I think by this point the reputation is too soured for me to be a part of the community. Again, probably not out of malice, but fear and resentment at how I’ve acted.
The fact that I’m seeing more than a few people in ososan fandom I’ve never really spoken to, or people I was mutuals with blocking me is enough I think for me to consider calling it quits for public enjoyment. The fandom is already very small, and the anti-bl side is even smaller, so everyone is pretty interconnected and rumors can spread very easily. There’s no way I can compete with that, especially if I’m barred from most servers anyways.
I’m still going to mull it over, but again, if you’ve never met me, or if you’ve only seen screenshots of me from 2016 while panicking or allcapsing or at my worst... All I can really do is hope that maybe you’ll be able to see past these things and consider giving me a chance.
As for the people I genuinely did hurt, I know I’ve said sorry many times now, even on my old blog Nutastic which I abandoned for similar reasons, but I don’t know how else or how better to prove how genuinely sorry I am... Because the proof of regret is in changing and becoming a better person, and there’s not much chance to see if I have or haven’t if I’ve been cut off.
No one has to forgive me, but perhaps at least entertain the idea I might’ve changed over the course of five years, and that telling people how I was back then instead of who I am now seems a bit unfair. Again, I suppose I dug my own grave by behaving like that in the first place, but I always try to show empathy even to people who wronged me at a low place in their lives, unless they were incredibly abusive and cruel.
At the end of the day, we’re all just people trying to enjoy a show about wacky sextuplets, and I don’t think anyone actually has any ill-will in their hearts, or has it in them to be “bad”, specifically on the anti-bl side. I don’t hold grudges, there’s no one that I currently have blocked unless they are a bl or a man that made me uncomfortable. My DMs are always open, as is my askbox.
Feel free to ask me anything or confront me about anything, though admittedly, doing so through anon makes it hard for me to reply as I don’t want to post anything potentially upsetting publicly.
And I will try to come to a decision about whether or not to pull a Jenna Marbles and leave social media for good out of regret and declining mental health. I will most likely make a post about it when I’m feeling more capable.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope your year is going good so far despite... Well, everything
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More Skelebros Headcannons.
Thanks to @dont-dimension-it, a lot of you liked my headcannons. Because of it, I decided to write some more. (NOTE: Fellswap Gold Sans and Paps’s nicksnames were switched last time. Paps is Coffee, Sans is Wine.)
Triggers? Just the mention of some phobias.
Papyrus:
- He has his moments of sassiness. - Although he mainly likes children books, he does read some more adult themed books. They’re mainly adventure based. - He saw a bunch of skeleton props in a store once. He didn’t know what to feel about them. - He’s somewhat good at flirting? He has to be in the mood for it, and that’s kind of rare. - Nothing he eats contains any sugar. The last time he consumed sugar, he almost blew a giant hole in the side of Mt. Ebott.
Sans:
- Is actually pretty good on the trombone. He mainly uses it to troll Papyrus though. - Doesn’t like anything child themed when it comes to horror for obvious reasons. - Suffers a pretty bad case of astraphobia, which is the fear of lightning. - Has moments where he falls easily. (In love.) - When he first started to learn how to use his blue attack, he used it on himself and sent himself flying through the entirety of Snowdin. He didn’t get hurt, but he didn’t use it for about a month after that.
Edge:
- He wears a silky black robe cause he knows he’s that sexy. It’s also to spite his brother. - Is so in love with the idea of protecting someone he likes that it can be confused with obsession. (No, this doesn’t include his brother. Don’t bring up that Fontcest shit.) - Has a bad case of trypophobia after seeing what a wasp’s nest looks like. He almost gets physically sick from being exposed to the triggers. - He’s also a germaphobe to the point he sets dirt ablaze. - His racecar bed is basically a Ford Mustang bed. It also functions as a real car.
Red:
- Pretends he hates ketchup, but he secretly likes it. - Also suffers trypophobia. - Has about nine pairs of the same kind of sneaker. - Has tried to imitate his brother’s cackle once, ended in humiliation. - He’s learn to tone down on being vocally violent.
Stretch:
- Unlike most of his lazy counterparts, he actually has a proper bed. - Has a jacket where there’s pockets on the inside, so when he wears it, he stuffs them with random items. Every time he takes out something from them, people joke about him having portals on the inside of his jacket. - Has a beanie that is the same color as his hoodies. He only has it to make jokes with. - He used to wear slippers, but they kept flying off his feet the few times he’s tried to run, so he wears little booties that have a similar appearance to tennis shoes. - When he gets super flustered, and I mean his face being almost entirely orange, he’ll melt any snow that happens to be around him. He’ll also become jelly in some cases while he’s melting the surrounding snow.
Blueberry:
- Is surprisingly flexible despite how his body is structured. - When he really wants something, he’ll make a look that’ll send chills down anyone’s spine. - He can sculpt with pretty much anything that is sturdy enough to stand on its own. - May or may not have an art pad personally crafted by Undyne. - Actually does have some scars from some of his fights. They’re mostly on his ribcage and spine, and they’re pretty sensitive to the touch.
Pup:
- Is a metal fan. - Actually knows some German and can mimic a German accent almost perfectly. - If he’s given the chance, he can be sappy as all hell to someone he personally finds charming. - Sings pretty good when no one’s around. - If he had someone who is able to help him with his addictions, it’s guaranteed that he’ll fall in love hard for that person.
Blackberry:
- Has similar ideas compared to Edge when to comes to protection, but it will turn into obsession at some points. He’s gotten better about this though. - If someone manages to bring out his softer side, a part of him will hate them, but he mostly shows genuine respect for having the patience to pull that off. - Will get horribly flustered if someone tells him that he’s still strong despite his body not showing it. - Can make pretty good beverages. Mainly alcohol-based ones. - Makes a hug sound like a threat.
Slim (Fellswap Red):
- Excellent baker. - Can get excited over nothing and it’s the cutest thing on the planet. - Comes up with some of the sweetest nicknames. - Big cuddlebug. - He’s so soft, someone please protect him.
Bloodberry (Fellswap Red):
- Classy motherfucker. - He sucks at baking most things, but he’s good at baking bread-based dishes. - He has an odd quirk where he wears a golden chain in the spring to summer months, and wears a silver one in the fall and winter months. No one knows why. - Tried eyeliner once, hated it. - Bit of a grammar Nazi, but he does actually bother to try and teach others how and when to use certain words and spellings.
Coffee (Fellswap Gold):
- Drinks coffee that’s as black as his soul.. okay, his soul’s not black, but the coffee still is. The coffee also tends to be chocolate flavored. - When he does talk, he has a little bit of a Russian accent. - Has a strong interest in dragons and other mythological creatures. - Stims a lot due to his autism. - His body reacts in confusion when being touched and doesn’t like it, but deep down, he’s secretly touch starved.
Wine (Fellswap Gold):
- Drinks any wine, but prefers classic red wine. - Has a strong Russian accent. - He will treat someone close, other than his brother, almost like they were his own kid. - He’s not in a situation where he can truly let out how he really feels, so when it’s something he’s passionate about, he winds up either training intensely or stims about it. (It’s usually hand flapping and running.) - He’d be a king no one asked but deserved.
Axe:
- Is someone who doesn’t want to be a part of drama. He prefers the quiet life. - He’s learned to make his own butchering weapons. - The kind of person you wouldn’t really want as a dad.. less you like the idea of someone willing to kill someone who insulted you. - Loves being petted and loved on. - Unlike most of his counterparts, a physical heartbeat can be heard.
Everest:
- Can imitate the whistles that are usually heard in a forest. - Prefers the quiet life. - Suffers phonophobia, which is the fear of loud, especially unwarranted, noises. - Despite his hunched over appearance, he likes being tall. He’s weak, so being tall can be a benefit for him since he can appear intimidating. - His armor is made of literal bone as opposed to the typical metal.
Hope y’all enjoy these!
#Frenchie Rambles#Headcannons#Undertale#Underfell#Underswap#Swapfell#Fellswap#Horrortale#Papyrus#Sans#Underfell!Papyrus#Underfell!Sans#Underswap!Papyrus#Underswap!Sans#Swapfell!Papyrus#Swapfell!Sans#Fellswap!Papyrus#Fellswap!Sans#Horrortale!Papyrus#Horrortale!Sans
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this is my first post
Hullo. This is my 3rd time rewriting this, because sumthin’ kept fucking up every time I tried to write it. But let’s hope this time goes smoothly cause I got a lot to say. I don’t have anywhere else to put this, so I decided, why not come to Tumblr and see what everyone else thinks. So, let’s get started. I have been a Gleek since I was in 6th grade. And as much as I know that the show is cringey and hard to watch, my sister and I genuinely enjoyed it (although now we mostly watch it ironically). And we always had a favoritism system going, our favorite characters were blatantly obvious, and we were fishing for least favorite characters when we could. So, our lists of favorite characters/ships looked a little something like this: Favorites: -Kurt Hummel -Finn Hudson -Rachel Berry -Santana Lopez -Brittany S Pierce -Blaine Anderson Least favorites: -Quinn Fabray -Noah Puckerman -Terry Schue -Sue Sylvester -Jessie St James -Sebastian Smythe Favorite ships: -Finchel -Klaine -Brittana -Wemma And even though that doesn’t seem like there’s anything wrong with that set up in particular, I’m going to explain to you why my views have changed. Especially on my least favorite characters. And disclaimer!! Any and all of these characters that I list on my least favorites have nothing to do with race, gender, disability, sexuality etc. They are solely based on personality and how their actions affected others. That’s it. That’s what I’m basing it off of. Same goes for my favorite characters as well. And believe me I will give a lengthy explanation for each and every one of them I promise. So I’m going to be listing the least favorites from LEAST bad/toxic to MOST bad/toxic. And don’t be upset if one of your favorites are on here. Just because I don’t like them doesn’t mean you can’t like them. Just make that clear. These are only things that I’ve picked up and I’ve noticed throughout the show and watching back important clips and such from the show. Coming in at #7: Mercedes Jones: I know what’s coming already. And I’m going to have to tell y’all this loud and clear. Mercedes is not a diva. She’s just a bitch. I’ve never liked Mercedes, and not because she was black, but just because she had an awful personality and she was awful to the people around her. I think the only time I really saw her being nice to someone was when she was dating Sam, or when she was dating that football player. And a few times when she was with Kurt. The main problem I have with her is in S1E3: Bust Your Windows, she busted Kurt’s front windshield all because he had a crush on someone else. And I can guarantee you guys this. If a guy did that to a girl, like if Kurt had done that to Mercedes instead, y’all would’ve been outraged. She had no reason to bust his window like that and then get all sassy to him when he got upset about it. Coming in at #6: Santana Lopez: And this is another character that y’all are so set on saying that she’s a diva. But no. Santana is a straight up bitch. And before you guys say “she was closeted/insecure/outed!” etc, Kurt was also insecure and closeted in the first season and he was never rude to anybody in the way Santana was. And secondly, Finn didn’t out her until S3E6: Mash Off, and I can tell you she had been acting like a huge bitch way before then. All I have to do is pull up all of the times she’s been anti-semetic to Rachel, fatphobic to Finn and Lauren, attacked people’s insecurities and was just being god awful. One of my least favorite scenes from her is when she went on that entire rant about why Blaine and Kurt didn’t work out, and she attacked Kurt’s teeth, his sexuality, his dancing, his s3xual appeal, and just about everything Kurt was insecure about. All because he said that he thought Santana and Brittany were too young to get married. And I honestly agreed with him, Britt and San were 19. Definitely too young to get married, and Kurt was just trying to relate his failure with Blaine to warn them that getting married this young wasn’t something that they wanted to do. But no. Santana didn’t listen to him trying to reason with her, she just told him basically “you suck, Blaine really hates you, get your crap together.” And I have always had a problem with it. Not to mention she called Quinn a slut. And no matter what situation you are in, I don’t believe it’s okay to call any girl a slut. Actually, I don’t think it’s okay to call anybody a slut. Because I’m bringing this back. If Finn had called Quinn a slut, you guys would be all over him and cancelling that character so fast, but as soon as Santana says it, it’s okay? That never sat right with me either. And again, the way she relentlessly bullies Rachel for everything she’s insecure about, especially her height and nose is not okay. It doesn’t matter how much you dislike someone. Making fun of her nose to the point where as soon as she breaks it, she’s immediately thinking of getting a nose job. That is not okay. And there’s a speculation that Santana was the one who pushed Rachel over the edge to try and fall into bulimia. And I don’t doubt it. Santana is not a nice person. And her internalised homophobia does not excuse anything that she’s said or done. Not to mention she has Britt wrapped around her finger and she knows that she’ll do anything she asks. Like when Santana was fantasizing about forcing Britt to break up with Artie if she became Prom Queen because it would be “the law of the land” that is absolutely inexcusable. Because we all know Britt is naive and has some sort of DD or autism, and the characters in the show take that and use it to their advantage. Especially Santana. Coming in at #5: Artie Abrams: Now before you come for my ass, let me tell you. I actually used to really like Artie. He was pretty high up on my ranking Glee characters lists that I used to make all the time. But now that I’ve rewatched and I’ve noticed more things, I just cant like him with a good conscience. Remember in season 1 when Tina told him that she doesn’t really have a stutter? Well, if you remember, he broke up with her after that. But if you were closely watching the show, you should’ve realised that Tina has some sort of social anxiety, (not that I’m excusing her faking a disability), but she has a reason for doing it. She (presumably) took up the stutter because she needed a way to avoid having to speak so much in public. Which is totally understandable! Artie didn’t have to break up with her. She confided in him to finally tell him what she had been hiding for so long and he just breaks up with her??? Are you kidding? That just goes to show that one of the only reasons he was dating her was because of her disability. If he broke up with her so fast for not actually having one. Even though she had an actual reason that she did it. Another thing about Artie that I hate is that he called Britt stupid. And that is a huge deal. Everyone in the school calls Britt stupid or something along those lines (even Santana) and as soon as she finds the one guy who doesn’t think that way of her, he breaks her trust. She technically did cheat on him, but as I said earlier, she bends to Santana’s every order and she has some sort of DD or autism and didn’t understand that it was cheating. She even told Artie she didn’t understand it. And instead of sitting her down and explaining to her and giving her a second chance to prove her new knowledge to good use, he just calls her stupid and makes her cry. And then this one is obvious. Artie didn’t fucking wear c0ndoms while he was having s3x with those two girls in New York and didn’t actually tell them he had chlamydia. Which just pissed me off so much it makes me angry just talking about it. Coming in at #4: Finn Hudson: Oh ho ho. Finn Hudson makes me so angry. Let me just start off with everything he did (and didn’t do) to/for Kurt. Starting with the infamous “faggy scene” after Kurt tried to make amends with Finn for all the arguing they had been doing by redecorating their room. As ugly as it looked (lmao), he did his best to try and appeal to what a straight guy would like without making it too masculine so he would feel comfortable sleeping in there too. He tried to appeal to Finn’s interests as well as his own and had to do it all on short notice. But as soon as Finn saw it, the first thing he said was “are you freaking insane?” and Kurt just deflated. If you watch the scene, you can see it. You can physically see Kurt’s hard work all go to waste because of that comment. But then Finn follows it up with saying “I can’t live here, I’m a dude.” That line for me is the one that really made me dislike Finn very very strongly, because he not only said Kurt wasn’t a man to his face, he also views Kurt as nothing but his sexuality. That is further proven when he describes how uncomfortable he is around Kurt just because Kurt has a crush on him. And yes, Kurt was creepy, but after then, when they started living together, he just tried his best to make Finn feel as welcome and as comfortable as he can make him feel. But then sees that everything has been pointless, because Finn makes it a point to tell him that he puts his underwear on in the shower before he comes out when Kurt’s around. And that’s just fucked up. And a lot of people say that Finn “didn’t mean it” when he said the f-slur, but let me tell you something. You don’t just accidentally say something twice out of anger. If you really didn’t mean it, you would apologise right when it left your mouth. But Finn’s lack of an apology only proves that he meant every word of what he said. Next is when Finn refused to help Kurt out with Karofsky. I can only talk briefly about this because it actually makes me so fucking mad I can’t explain it. So, Rachel asks him to help Kurt out and confront Karofsky, right? And Finn refuses. Because, and I quote: “We both know I can help him more if I stay on top.” And I think he even says “Kurt will be fine” too, completely ignoring the fact that Kurt is so terrified to go to school, he’s losing weight (there are speculations that he cuts), but Finn doesn’t care about that. He only cares about the fact that he needs to stay popular. Oh and the fact that Karofsky plays right guard and wont guard him during the football game is he’s pissed and they’ll lose. He picks FOOTBALL and POPULARITY over his soon-to-be stepbrother’s MENTAL/EMOTIONAL/PYSICAL H E A L T H. I cannot explain how angry that makes me. Not to mention, the amounts of times he’s played victim. Especially with Rachel. One time that really pisses me off is when he goes “have you ever thought about what I’m going to do in New York?” and Rachel starts stammering over herself and assuring him that she’ll find something that he fits into since he doesn’t know what he’s going to do with his future. And then he asks her about California and Puck’s pool business. Even though he knows Rachel has been set on New York and NYADA since she was a little girl. He knows that she has all of those ambitions and she has an entire plan in her life and she’s already trying to shift those plans to fit Finn in with her. And for him to tell her that he wants her to give all of that up to come with him and Puck to California is actually more selfish than Rachel is. Oh! And not to mention he outed Santana too. Let’s not forget that. In front of basically the whole damn school too. He also kissed Emma. And he also cheated on Rachel with Quinn. And then actually broke up with Rachel when she made out with Puck a bit because she wanted to get him back for cheating on her and sleeping with Santana (even though it doesn’t excuse what she did at all, I just think Finn was being a hypocrite.) And he also cheated on Quinn with Rachel in the first season, and he led Rachel on for the entire first season, Or most of it at least. Coming in at #3: Mr. Schue: I’m just gonna speed through this: -He was a creep/pedo with both the girls and the boys -He had a savior complex and tried to force Emma’s OCD away and fix it instead of help her -He encouraged Emma’s crush on him even while he was married -He twerked with a bunch of minors -Suspended a minor for not wearing a bra she was uncomfortable in -He dealt really badly with Rachel’s crush on him -Never listened to his students’ input -hallucinated children while he was sick -Was very awkwardly touchy with his students -His best friend was 19 -refused to stop twerking even when offered the exchange for a trans student to use a staff bathroom to avoid getting bullied -overreacted after finding out Terry wasn’t pregnant Now the moments you’ve all been waiting for. Coming in at #2: Noah Puckerman: Now I was stuck on Puck for a while, I didn’t think he really was that bad of a guy for a long time. But just one thing Quinn says was enough to sway me and put him this high on my list. In one of the earlier episodes, Puck starts teasing her and being a dick after finding out she’s pregnant. And so she says: “You got me drunk off of wine coolers and I was feeling fat that day...” Now if you break that sentence down, she literally says “you got me drunk.” implying that Puck himself wasn’t drunk when this all took place. Meaning, Noah Puckerman r@ped Quinn Fabray. She never cheated on Finn. Puck purposely got her drunk just so he could get what he wanted. Especially considering she never put out and she was president of the Celibacy Club. Now must I say anything else? No. I didn’t think so. And finally, coming in at #1: Blaine Anderson: I know Blaine is everyone’s smol bean gay bb boy. (*gag) but I have to tell you that he is not a good person whatsoever. I’ll give him credit though. In the 2nd season he was really sweet and I actually really liked him. But as the seasons progressed, he got worse. In S3E5, Blaine and Kurt go to a gay bar together, and Kurt helps Blaine out after he gets too drunk. Then as soon as he tries to get Blaine in the car, Blaine starts coming onto him and kissing his neck and trying to convince him to have s3x with him, even though Kurt keeps repetitively saying no. And then he plays the victim after Kurt blows up at him and says “well I’m sorry for trying to be spontaneous and fun!” and then proceeds to walk home, getting mad at Kurt for nothing. Then in another episode. I think it was later in season 3, Kurt meets Chandler. And Blaine had been ignoring him for a while before that, so Kurt starts talking to Chandler only because he makes him feel good about himself. And he obviously thought it was okay because Blaine did the same thing with Sebastian but called him all the time and flirted with him and dirty danced with him etc. So when Blaine goes through Kurt’s phone, he finds the messages and makes a huge deal out of it and accuses Kurt of cheating on him. Then publicly humiliates him in front of the Glee club with a song about cheating. And then proceeds to go and cheat on him anyway. And then as soon as they were going to NYADA together, Blaine didn’t like all the attention Kurt was getting after he started to get more fit and more attractive and he was extremely jealous of him and over protective, not letting Kurt have any other male attention. At all. And Blaine is just super stingy with Kurt and doesn’t let him live his life and then pays victim whenever he gets confronted by him. Oh and not to mention he dated the one person that made Kurt’s life a living hell for the longest time and decided to rub it in his face. So there we have it folks. My new least favorite Glee characters and all the reasons why. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
#glee#kurt hummel#blaine anderson#finn hudson#artie abrams#brittany s pierce#santana lopez#rachel berry#quinn fabray
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Admittedly when it comes to translations I use them interchangeably and expect people get what I mean lol...I'm a digimon fan so this sort of translation nonsense is very familiar to me so I've kinda fallen into that bad habit lol.
Dw about the Kazui Infodump! Admittedly Amane occupies so much of my brainspace that information about other character's slips my mind real easily. And I did do an Amane Infodump so really it's just a fair trade.
I see what you mean by that, and honestly both are probably true to some extent. Like...yeah it's hard to rest easy when you still got 2 more trials to prove your innocent under the threat of horrific punishment, but Kazui is also wanting to be understood.
And now he's found out that his walls are built so high and so thick that even the magic mind brain extraction music video can't even give us a clear picture of what's going on. It makes sense he'd feel this way, both ways really.
Cat portrays Kazui so much more negatively (see it's advertisment-like feel and how Kazui seems more threatening compared to Half's stage performance) and also gives so little away, everything is Literally Framed in Cat except for Two Shots and those two shots don't really give us Much to work on.
It really feels like Kazui's walls are built Even Higher somehow in Cat, or maybe I'm just thinking too much about Cat again...
I'm a Big Amane Momose Enjoyer. I've basically been thinking about her for multiple months straight, my autism really did say this child was The One fr. I have written Too Much About Her, but I get where your coming from. She deals with very sensitive topics, though I will say I think it's worth interacting with her anyway. She's so emotionally resonant to me though so heh...
I could talk forever about how Shidou fucked up big time with Amane lol. It goes into some thoughts i have about 050608 family parallels but the basic jist is that the way Shidou unintentionally reminds Amane of her abuse. It's not on purpose, I doubt he's even aware of it (not that it makes it any better.)
Amane states very clearly in the T1 VD that she doesn't like being talked down too.
Amane: I see. Then, are the things that I as a twelve-year-old think irrelevant? Are you going to cast aside the feelings that I know I have in this very moment, purely based on the fact that I have not yet lived for a very long time?
Now this ties into a discussion about how age was probably used to justify her abuse-
However, this reaction to being treated as a child probably also comes from how her own feelings, actions and thoughts were disregarded by her parents.
After you cry, repent, and kneel, it’s now your turn to say that hopeless “I’m sorry”
Having other people do the same to her must be uncomfortable and upsetting.
This makes Shidou's treatment of her...well...
Shidou: I…… I just don’t understand. If everything about MILGRAM is true…… why did a child like you have to become a murderer? Just imagining what sort of circumstances must have led to that, it makes me so sad…… Amane: ……*sigh*. Is that right. I don’t think I’m going to get along with you, Shidou-san. I don’t agree with the fact you refuse to acknowledge that I have my own free will, and that I should be held accountable for my actions, just because I’m a child. I may have only been alive for 12 years, but all the choices I’ve made, even if they weren’t the best ones, were entirely my own. What point is there in you getting sad when I have no regrets myself?
Amane: I warned you. I can no longer turn a blind eye to this wickedness taking place right in front of us. You’re bringing ruin unto yourself. Do you understand? Shidou: No, I don’t understand. It’s my job as an adult to teach you that throwing a temper tantrum isn’t going to make everything go your way. If it’s a test of endurance you want, I’m happy to oblige, Amane.
Shidou- Shidou what the fuck are you doing?
Admittedly it's a hard situation to navigate but like- that was one of the Worst Things he could have said.
Ultimately it just pushes Amane further into isolation. It makes her feel like he isn't willing to understand her, it makes her feel small and threatened, it makes her feel Looked Down Upon.
But, once again, Amane has been given a righteous excuse to hurt someone that Hurts Her. Shidou is violating Cult Rules. She's allowed to hurt him back now.
I could infodump about Amane forever but I wanna talk 0304 Super Quick-
So again I'm trying not to make this too long (and I still need to get my thoughts in order) but 0304 is super interesting to me since it seems like their T2 MVs are made to reference the others T1 MV.
There's multiple things, lyrically there's a bunch of similarities between the T1-T2 MVs.
Backdraft:
Moribound, that’s all from me, reporting from the ground
After Pain:
The stabbing of the little devil’s voice, counterattack being a suicide note
Backdraft:
With just one mistake and I’m out of chances Bless me, please, with one more chance
After Pain:
Why won’t you stop hurt-hurt-hurting me? My heart is all dried up My sorry spells must be wearing off
We got some fun visual parallels with how Muu was drowning in honey/Fuuta was controlling the fire in T1 and how Muu was controlling the honey/Fuuta was being consumed by the fire in T2
(Uh tumblr won't let me upload images- this visual parallel exists I swear!)
Both It's Not My Fault and Bring It On have a general theme of "I'm right and just" Bring it On Has It's not my fault in it's lyrics-
Ultimately it seems like Muu and Fuuta's progressions as characters seem to be mirrored. Muu starts off meek and scared and then becomes more confident in how she's right in T2 and Fuuta starts out pretty confident that he's in the right and then slowly becomes more scared and remorseful.
Again that isn't to say those traits Didn't Exist before T2! Muu is subtly a bit of an ass and believed it wasn't her fault in T1 and Fuuta was already remoseful in T1! But they become more prominent when T2 happened.
Fuuta and Muu seem to have a common theme of what is "right" and the guilt that comes with doing something wrong and how to handle it. There both super insistent in their own righteousness but were they really justified? And when they aren't how do you take responsibility for your actions? Do you even want to accept it? Fuuta and Muu are Super Interesting I'm really fond of them as a duo.
I- god- I need to talk about how Milgram as a system makes you assign who the "worst" is out of the cast. Which one doesn't seem guilty for the actions? Which one didn't have a good enough reason? Which one is most dangerous? Which one is the scariest? Which one is the most Deserving of punishment? Which one Deserves Support the Least?
When Milgram asks who deserves to be forgiven and who shouldn't be this is what they mean. This is why Jackalope insists that you can vote for any reason. This system is Built to find the "Worst One" and Punish Them.
ES SAYS THIS IN AMANE'S T1 VOICE DRAMA:
Es: Don’t make me laugh. I’m not your teacher at school; it isn’t my goal to teach you things or guide you on the right path. Milgram’s goal isn’t to turn you back into decent human beings and get you back into normal society. What is needed here is firm, honest judgment and decisions.
Es: Milgram's goal is not to help people, but to judge them "firmly" and "honestly."
It is NOT a coincidence that they are saying this in Amane's T1 VD. Y'know, the same character whose cult punishes them unjustly and unfairly under arbitrary and often unreachable standards.
And look- I get that they committed murder. That is indeed a crime, that is indeed a horrible thing to do.
However, there is an Underlying Theme here that is being explored! If this work was just about what was murder and who actually committed murder this series would be over by Trial 1 and characters like Mikoto, Amane, Haruka, would be guilty and also Dead.
Milgram is actively making us engage with this System of Punishment and find out that No, it actually isn't that easy to prevent the evil from hurting the weak. That people get hurt in this pursuit of justice. That this black and white system of punishment Does Not Actually Help Anyone!
And this is such a cool and interesting part of Milgram that I wish people we're more willing to engage with! I wish we, as an audience, we're more willing to accept that Our Judgement Hurts People. That this is a part of the experience of engaging with the musical murderer series that asks the audience if their willing to forgive or not.
(And I also wish the risk of people attacking me for this is a lot lower but ah well.)
#long post#<- at this point I think it might be necessary#but also dw I dont think you fucked up!#Amane's a super sensitive character im glad your exercising caution#I do think even then its worth interacting with her story#shes super interesting and I think its better for her story to be heard than not#milgram thoughts#other people's thoughts#(finally remembered my tags...)
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So About the Bert and Ernie thing….Facts and Fiction…
So, recently writer Mark Saltzman did an interview for the blog Queerly (You can read it all here) where he talked about his time on Sesame Street.
Edit: He also gave a statement regarding this to the New York Post. (You can read that here)
Now this is important, the questions in the interview, vs. the headline are vastly different and the actual article has a lot of information regarding his time with the Workshop and his connections to the cast and crew. So of course because Bert and Ernie come up everyone goes hog wild when he answers the question. Problem is, no one is reading it correctly or writing it correctly. So I want to help people break up the Fiction from the Facts in regard to this situation and the two puppets.
So let’s start with the easy things.
“The Creator of Bert and Ernie...”
FALSE: Firstly Mark Saltzman is not the creator of Bert nor Ernie. Both Muppets were created back in 1969, and were performed by Frank Oz (Bert) and Jim Henson (Ernie), with the idea that Bert was going to be based on Frank and his personality and Ernie was based on Jim and his. The idea for the set up as the two best friends living together was – more than likely – based on the then well-known screwball comedy movie “The Odd Couple”. This movie stared Jack Lemon as the uptight neat freak Felix, and Walter Matthau as the fun loving slob Oscar, which was written by Neil Simon, and came out a year before Sesame Street Debuted. If you look at the set up for Bert and Ernie, they are pretty much Felix and Oscar, with the addition that they act like Frank and Jim concerning their viewpoints and personalities. Jim was perfectionist at times but also a goof who liked to screw around as was Frank, but he was more serious at times, than Jim was. However, both men were professional. A lot of Bert and Ernie come from them developing a solid connection in their friendship and, reportedly, both characters are based largely on when both men were kids.
“Mark Stated that they were gay.”
FALSE Mark in his interview did not state that either character was gay. Rather he stated
“Ok, so we have to address—that’s the big question, right? In the writer’s room, you’re all adults. Were you thinking of Bert & Ernie as a gay couple? Did that question ever come up?
I remember one time that a column from The San Francisco Chronicle, a preschooler in the city turned to mom and asked “are Bert & Ernie lovers?” And that, coming from a preschooler was fun. And that got passed around, and everyone had their chuckle and went back to it. And I always felt that without a huge agenda, when I was writing Bert & Ernie, they were. I didn’t have any other way to contextualize them. The other thing was, more than one person referred to Arnie & I as “Bert & Ernie.”
That’s telling.
Yeah, I was Ernie. I look more Bert-ish. And Arnie as a film editor—if you thought of Bert with a job in the world, wouldn’t that be perfect? Bert with his paper clips and organization? And I was the jokester. So it was the Bert & Ernie relationship, and I was already with Arnie when I came to Sesame Street. So I don’t think I’d know how else to write them, but as a loving couple. I wrote sketches…Arnie’s OCD would create friction with how chaotic I was. And that’s the Bert & Ernie dynamic.
So you’re saying that Bert & Ernie became analogs for your relationship in a lot of ways?
Yeah. Because how else? That’s what I had in my life, a Bert & Ernie relationship. How could it not permeate? The things that would tick off Arnie would be the things that would tick off Bert. How could it not? I will say that I would never have said to the head writer, “oh, I’m writing this, this is my partner and me.” But those two, Snuffalupagus, because he’s the sort of clinically depressed Muppet…you had characters that appealed to a gay audience. And Snuffy, this depressed person nobody can see, that’s sort of Kafka! It’s sort of gay closeted too.
Okay so let’s break down these quotes here.
Mark states that “And I always felt that without a huge agenda, when I was writing Bert & Ernie, they were. I didn’t have any other way to contextualize them. The other thing was, more than one person referred to Arnie & I as “Bert & Ernie.”
For Mark writing for the two characters came from the idea of his relationship with his long time partner. It was the only way he could write the characters, and this was because this was how he viewed them as a gay man in a long term relationship. Other writers, such as Jim and Frank, did not see them as such and wrote them as the Odd couple, and still other writers later on saw them as cousins and wrote them as siblings since they had that sort of dynamic with their own sibling.
“So it was the Bert & Ernie relationship, and I was already with Arnie when I came to Sesame Street. So I don’t think I’d know how else to write them, but as a loving couple. I wrote sketches…Arnie’s OCD would create friction with how chaotic I was. And that’s the Bert & Ernie dynamic.”
This is another important line here. Mark came in already in a relationship and saw that relationship with the two characters. This matches with another writer who, as a female, said that their dynamic reminds her of her and her sister and that to her she is Ernie and her younger sister is Bert. So that’s how she writes them. Mark wrote them as he saw himself and his partner.
“Yeah. Because how else? That’s what I had in my life, a Bert & Ernie relationship. How could it not permeate? The things that would tick off Arnie would be the things that would tick off Bert. How could it not? I will say that I would never have said to the head writer, “oh, I’m writing this, this is my partner and me.”
Another point here. Because Sesame Street is designed to talk to kids, and the Muppets are more or less children in a lot of cases (save for the What nots that play bit parts or if they need to have a job) and Ernie and Bert fall into that category. Of course you would never bring this up to the head writer because neither character is seen as an adult. Both Ernie and Bert are kids, and seen as kids by the cast and crew. Only a hand full of Muppets have actual ages, such as Big Bird, Elmo, Zoey, Telly, Abby, and Prairie Dawn, others like Oscar, Cookie Monster, Harry Monster, Grover, etc. have no known age but play out in skits doing jobs or pretending to do things, like kids do.
So at this point Mark is writing the character as he saw them, but wasn’t about to say “Well this is how they are” because you want the kids to decide who and what the Muppets are. The idea is to get the children to connect to them, that’s why there is never anything specified about the character.
“Well what about Sesame Street’s not being inclusive.”
FALSE: While yes there hasn’t yet been an openly gay couple on the show, Sesame Street Workshop and the Henson company has had a number of performers that were gay. Mark Mentions Richard Hunt and Judy Freudberg, Kevin Clash –Elmo and Cliff, and others that are now working on the show. The thing is sexuality is something that they have to work against in some cases, and what I mean by that is the idea of sexuality as a whole not the idea of who you want to date and such. There was an incident not too long ago that Katie Perry’s sketch with Elmo (whom she apparently adores) had to be pulled from the show because her dress on top was seen as too reveling, even though it was an outfit to make her look like she was going to play dress up with Elmo. It’s common for the actors who come on the show to be asked who their favorite Muppet is and they try to work on a scene with them and the Muppet.
“Why can’t there be an openly gay couple on the show?”
FACT: There are probably several reasons that there hasn’t been, as of yet. A few newer, and a few that are older. So for Sesame Street to work, the show has to adhere to the guidelines set by the Education Department of the country where they are at. This means that’s their top priority on teaching and educating kids about the fundamentals. Another factor that comes into play here is the fact that right now they are funded not just by PBS (where donations are sent in to fund the show and the actors and the sets), but also through merchandising and, more importantly right now, Sponsorship with HBO, who tends to like to cut the cost of things for them.
As of right now they have introduced Julie a girl with Autism, and previously they managed to cover death (Mr. Hooper) and divorce. Also Linda is deaf and did teach ASL for a long while on the show until I think she retired. Because the focus of the show is children, the idea of a gay couple would have to be brought in through how a child would be introduced to it. And that would be a new family moving into the neighborhood.
If they do bring on a gay couple there are two options there. Either live actors, who probably would be gay in real life and would talk about things, with their child (either adopted or biological depending on the story they want to tell) or they would have a puppet that has parents that are gay. The more likely reality is that they probably will go with the live action actors because it would make more sense and fit in better. If they go with puppets then they will be What nots and probably the focus will be more on the kid –as it normally is.
See how they brought in Julie (Julia?) regarding her and her autism.
“So why won’t Frank Oz agree that Bert and Ernie are gay?”
FACT: Because to Frank, Ernie is Jim and Jim was his best friend. He can only see Bert as Bert, or himself or the character that is based around himself.(Regarding the comments by Frank you can see them Here from the Huffington post, or Here from NBC News)
“It seems Mr. Mark Saltzman was asked if Bert & Ernie are gay. It's fine that he feels they are. They're not, of course," Oz wrote in a tweet. "But why that question? Does it really matter? Why the need to define people as only gay? There's much more to a human being than just straightness or gayness."
"When a character is created to be queer it is indeed important that the character be known as such. It is also important when a character who was not created queer, be accepted as such," Oz wrote.”
This is an important statement because this is from the man who helped create this show from the ground up. I would take his word as the creator of the character and the originator about who these two characters are and their relationship, since, ya know, he created them.
“But the Muppets have parents and romances in their other shows!”
TRUE and FALSE: The Muppets were first created as an adult series as part of commercials and late night tv talk shows. For a while they were on SNL until John Belushi indicated he would walk if they didn’t get rid of them. Fast forward a few years to the Muppet Show, which was based on the then popular varity show. The whole point of the show was sketch comedy, with the back stage that you didn’t regually get to see. So the Muppets themselves are adult characters with adult storylines that you can tell (not lewd stuff).
However, Sesame street is not, nor has it ever been, an adult show. Yes there are nods to adult things, like songs that have more mature themes, but for the most part it’s based around children and their needs for learning. This means the majority of Muppets here are children and have child like views of things. Even if a person does an adult joke around them outside of their show, they don’t get it because they are supposed to be kids.
The difference is that Piggy and Kermit can make a sex joke if need be, Big bird and Oscar can’t.
As for the romance, well given that Piggy pretty much was a stalker that caused Kermit issues, yeah one can say it’s not the most healthy of relationships. (Although personally I ship them and love them to death because they are awesome.)
Also regarding the parents that show up in Sesame Street. Most of the parents were the Adults that were there already and got married and had kids over the years. The Muppets for years did not have any parents, until like the late 90s into the 2000s. Or you never saw them, or maybe only saw them once in a blue moon. Even now the parents aren’t the point of the show, it’s the kids and how they interact with one another.
“What about their statement…”
FACT: There’s really nothing wrong with it since they are just going over part of their mission statement here. As I said before, the point of the series is to focus on kids and their interaction and education. The only time that kids would probably be dealing with sexuality in this sense would be if they met someone’s parents that are gay, or their teacher has a girl friend or boyfriend. That’s about it.
If any series would have been the better place to talk about these matters that would be Mr. Rogers and his show as that was more about the people you meet and connect with, rather than education and learning.
So please people take some time to read the actual article and also the comments from the Workshop and the creator Frank Oz, before you go lambasting them.
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this post features talk of abuse, ableism, pathologization, ABA therapy, forced medication and dehumanization. please do skip it if this might put your mental health at risk. the r slur will be spelled as such “r.t.rd”.
spoilers for the Undertale game have to be looked out for too.
links will be in bold.
[seven images of the video game Undertale’s character Flowey, one being a gif, and the six others being the same images, but transparent and composing the gif. Flowey is on his pink-reddish computer browsing internet resources. there is a gay flag sticker on his computer’s logo. he also has various reactions, an ‘owo what’s this’ one, a surprised one, contemplative ones, a sceptical one, and an angry one, when the computer brings up the puzzle piece symbol.
upside of him is written the tag Go Red Instead. downside him is written the tag actually autistic. both are in big red letters. on his left is written “support autistic people” followed by “by learning about us ! especially if you hate us ! don’t hate stuff you don’t know, jerk !!”, then on his right by the following:
“browse tags about us”
“respect our identity regardless of how nice we are to you. disliking someone, even for good reasons, does NOT excuse ABLEISM”
“look up why ‘high/low functionning’ are bullshit, why our symbol is a horizontal 8, symbol of infinity, why autism speaks is BAD, consider joining a facebook group about autism open to allistics, or following blogs !”
“don’t use us as your personal educator or data base.”
“do your own research, google terms you don’t know, don’t ask us for easy to find definitions.”
each phrases are preceded by upside-down red-lined hearts.]
this is april month, autistic people awareness’ month, so i’m here to teach anyone who’d listen a bit about smtg from autistic people.
#(Go)ReadInstead is a movement of the autistic community against autism speaks’ “light it blue” movement. autism speaks promotes the idea that autistic people are sick, compare us to cancer patients, and “light it up blue” to “raise awareness about the Bad Autism we must seek and destroy out of our children”. it is a logic of abuse apologism and ableist conceptions of a neurodivergency that is no illness and neither lethal nor dangerous to anyone, caused by old myths and outdated fears of demons and faeries/changelins.
the character Flowey is a jerk. he is a liar, manipulative, plays with people’s lives and laughs at the player’s/Frisk’s misery in the game. he is, by all means, an antagonist, and a bully. he is also, canonically, able of doing good. of learning. trying to get better. he is not inherently mean, but was because it was easier for him. he is as such the best representation of ableist allistics i can think of in the game, and thus i illustrate my point with him.
i already made a post about good allistic allyship in general with Frisk’s. it also has links to organizations to donate to. Toriel’s informs of good allistic parenting, and Grillby’s, of good allistic friendship and romantic/sexual relationship doing.
this, is a post of ressources.
i invite you to course through my #actuallyautistic tag on my main, elitigre, for more insight on many things autistic.
my askbox on said blog is also open for you to ask some things on being autistic. do keep in mind i’d be answering on my free time, not as a job.
then, the tags i mentioned a few times up here are at your dispostion, again, and so are #autism acceptance, #asperger, #autistic rant, #autistic voice, #red instead, #boycott autism speaks, #social model of disability, #asd. there are more to look for.
a list of online resources sites you want to know about (keep in mind some of these are held by benevolent people bloggin bout autism on the side. not your personal educators) :
The Autistic Self Advocacy Network’s tumblr blog
Happyhands.toys’ tumblr blog, to learn about stimming.
Safechewablethings , tumblr blog, about stimming too.
Sounds like you have a lot to learn about autistic people but ok, a facebook group, self-explanatory.
Growing up Aspie, tumblr blog, who makes comics about their own life.
Positivelyautistic, a tumblr blog.
Neuroqueerpositivity, tumblr blog.
Autistic-Answers, tumblr blog.
Autism in women, tumblr blog.
The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino, something to consult to understand the spoonie culture, that applies to all disabled people.
more various resources, this good list first, by Bob Wood on facebook :
why it’s cool and encouraged for you to stand up for us.
why you really got to let us define ourselves and even other autistic people should.
what kind of behaviour you really should avoid.
why autistic kids need to be left at peace.
why stimming is good.
why autism speaks is bullshit.
why functionning labels are b a d.
why trying to “cure” a child from being autistic is actually abuse.
why we sometimes talk in seemingly pretentious fashion.
why aba therapy and variations are disgusting.
why autism moms need to fucking stop.
a tidbit about “indigo child”.
why it’s important to learn about empathy and compassion and moral judgements and to not label autistic people as heartless.
why you gotta be critical about what “made-for-autistic-kids” brands you support and promote.
Thanks you for your attention- Uidelsib E.N.
companion pieces about autistic people: Papyrus, Chara, sans.
companion pieces about allistic allyship: Frisk, Toriel, Grillby.
the character Flowey, from the video game Undertale (2015), belongs to Toby Fox.
this post is not invitation for debate on the autistic spectrum being an illness, harmful, or how Actually Autism Speaks Is Good And ABA Saves Lives.
all attempts to do so will be blocked.
#GoRedInstead#redinstead#actuallyautistic#undertale#ut: flowey#tw abuse#FuckAutismSpeaks#FuckLightItBlue#fanart#digital art
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