#sans probably: sure im probably attracted to this human even though i dislike humans but i dont acrually CARE about her

[angelbitezzz]

Not really an update but I thought you guys would find this funny

:) (some more writing under the cut)

"She's stable now, and I've restored her to full HP. However, healing takes a toll on all creatures. She is going to need to rest—no matter how fine she acts when she wakes, tell her that I said to stay in bed for at least a day."

Asgore spoke softly to the skeletons in the room, hand resting on Angel's forehead. Her pained expression was smoothed over, replaced by abject relief, her eyes just barely open. They were still glowing that bright purple, but duller now, clearly having given up on forcing her HP to halt now that Asgore was there.

"Humans get especially fatigued when healing. It takes a lot of energy, even supplemented with my magic."

"WOWIE! THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE."

Asgore merely chuckled, raising a claw to his mouth to remind Papyrus to stay quiet. The skeleton shut his jaw with an audible snap, looking a little guilty though his eye sockets glowed a bright green in relief.

"Thank you for calling on me for this—she was in an incredibly precarious position. Her HP was—"

"low. too low. she shouldn't have survived that."

Sans interjected, off to the side with his arms crossed. His expression was tight, permanent grin just a little strained despite the relief showing clear in his eyesockets.

"...that was magic, right?"

Asgore shut his mouth and looked down at her again, her eyes blearily focused on some distant point. Still glowing.

"...Yes. I never would've imagined a mage falling in all this time..."

"so what do we do?"

Asgore thought hard, eyes trailing to the nearby window.

"... I'm sure you're aware of how rare purple magic tends to be. I'm afraid I cannot do anything about helping her control it, beyond what any monster would teach a child. Perhaps seeking out someone who can may be beneficial—so she does not...show it off in public."

There was a mutual look of understanding among the small group. Bad enough that another human had fallen down here—a human mage would likely incite fear and backlash from everyone who didn't know her personally. The residents of the Starlight Isles (and Ruined Home, perhaps) might be understanding, given how popular she'd gotten as Starstruck...but the rest of the underground? It wasn't worth the risk.

Asgore bid them adieu, only stopping to brush a few strands of hair off of Angel's forehead before he made his choice to walk home. Papyrus prepared to sit and stare at Angel, but Sans cut him off before he could. Even if the taller skeleton wouldn't admit it, the last few stressed hours had taken their toll on him.

"i'll keep watch, bro. go get some sleep. you're dead on your feet."

"NO I'M NOT—WAIT, THAT WAS A JOKE, WASN'T IT?!"

"to-marrow is another day. go rest. or you'll have to listen to more of these—"

"BYE!"

Papyrus zipped up to his room before Sans could hit him with the rest of the joke, bypassing the stairs entirely and simply vaulting the balcony above, landing with cat-like grace with nary a whisper. His door would've ordinarily slammed, but apparently he was still conscious enough of Asgore's reminder to stay quiet that it instead painstakingly slid shut.

Sans turned back towards the human on the couch, noting that her eyes had finally shut. Her head lay flat on the cushions, a blanket of Papyrus's tossed over her form. Something about the scene nagged him, and he shifted from foot to foot before glancing back up the stairs to Papyrus's shut door. He raised his hands and slipped his cape off his neck, messily bundling the blue fabric up before kneeling in front of the human, one hand taking her shoulder (CAREFUL, his thoughts screamed, remembering the injury even though it technically no longer existed) to tug her forward.

"Huh...?"

She sounded rough, her eyes blinking open at the movement to stare at him with a somewhat comical expression of annoyance.

"lift your head."

She did as told, the skeleton swiftly tucking the make-shift pillow under it and patting her shoulder back down.

"get some rest."

"...'kayyy..."

He turned and walked to the television, switching it on. Then he went to the lightswitch and shut off the main house lights, casting the room into darkness. It was almost dark enough for him to pretend not to see how she turned her face into the fabric of the cape, a dopey smile settling onto her expression as she nuzzled into it.

[gccdnews]

Did you see JESSICA DREW from MARVEL walking around Limbo? The CISFEMALE looks like ALICIA VIKANDER, and is NINETY SEVEN years old. I’ve heard she can be VIRTUOUS & WITTY but also COCKSURE & REACTIVE. When I think of them I think of HELPING THE INNOCENT BY HOSPITALIZING THE GUILTY, RAISING SPIDER-BABY, THE GREATEST QUIPS OF ALL TIME BITCHCAKES. They’ve been here WITHOUT their memories as an PI & FIGHTER at BAKER STREET INVESTIGATIONS & UNDERGROUND FIGHT CLUB for SIX MONTHS. I heard they’re seeking a sanctum.

// whew. jess has a history™. it's long af and spans nearly a century so im not gonna go into crazy detail, but it's still lengthy. and i'm also gonna modify just a bit to fit in with the mcu for plotting reasons and stuff. if you don’t really care about her full history then there’s some bullet points toward the bottom.

she was born in england in 1924 and brought as a small child to the transia (it's a small, fictional slavic country) where her father was conducting research. unfortunately due to her being a small child, she contracted uranium poisoning from her father's work and had to be placed in a cryogenic chamber and treated with radiation and a highly experimental serum derived from the blood/genes of various species of spider.

she spent decades in stasis, educated subliminally with special tapes. when she was finally awakened she had only aged into her early teens, but she'd developed superhuman abilities.

grew up, moved away, met a dude, fell in love, then accidentally killed him with her powers. so yeah that kinda torments her still to this day. well, when she still remembered it anyway.

got recruited into hydra who she was led to believe were the good guys, had her memories suppressed, was told the high evolutionary basically a "god" figure, idek evolved her from a spider into a human woman, had an agent pretend to fall in love with her, etc etc. basically got gaslit and brainwashed into becoming a high ranking member until she was put out on a field assignment and told to assassinate nick fury. during the mission he told her what hydra really was and she dropped their asses.

got her memories back from mordred the mystic, then lived in a shitty apartment in london for a while. ended up breaking into a convenience store across the street at one point to get some food, but got noticed by shield agent jerry hunt who pretty much hounded her until she dyed her hair and created a secret identity to hide from him

did the hero thing for a while, moved to l.a., dated jerry, became a bounty hunter, moved to san francisco, became a p.i., superhero'd some more, met carol danvers 😍

went on a mission to finally take down longtime archenemy morgan le fay, and did so, but not before some morgan did some magic shit and separated her soul from her body ?? so she goes to the sorcerer magnus and has him cast a spell to make everyone who ever met her forget she existed.

not long later she was found and revived by two hero pals, breaking the spell, but she was left comatose. dr strange gets involved, abra cadabra, jess ain't a cadava'. but she is however, powerless.

continued working as a p.i. until an encounter with the new spider-woman mattie franklin somehow restored her powers, which came back slowly and were very unstable. meets jessica jones, accidentally zaps tf out of her, then works with her to save the new spider-woman.

eventually struck a deal with hydra to spy within shield so she could get her powers back but the skrull queen veranke was behind it and manipulating her so she could learn to perfectly impersonate jessica. jess ended up held captive for two years aboard a skrull spaceship while veranke took her place.

she and the rest of the captives got saved but because of the havoc veranke wreaked, she didn't exactly receive a warm welcome back.

spent some time rebuilding her reputation until she was invited to join the avengers (for avengers 1 in the mcu, let's say). they did some good work and she eventually fell for clint/hawkeye. they dated a while but things went sideways when he cheated on her (but obvs that's subject to change depending on who picks him up, just leaving that in for now bc it seems kinda noteworthy).

skipping comic spider-verse stuff bc how does that work with the rp, idek.

left the avengers after that and mostly stayed out of their business so she wasn't around for ultron or civil war and instead got back to her roots with some good ol fashioned p.i. work. may have crossed paths with the defenders and other street level heroes during this period.  

then of course, came the snap. jess was one of the ones that vanished. using this instead of her death during secret wars in the comics. when everyone came back she joined all the others to fight thanos and damn right she was part of that moment with all the female heroes like she should have fucking been irl.

when things settled down after y'know, dying, she realized that she wanted to be a mother and raise a child, and almost never got that chance. instead of waiting, she got herself artificially inseminated. which was good too tbh because like, look at her luck with men and imagine getting stuck in one of those relationships she'd been in so far. way better off doing it on her own smh

got invited to an alpha flight maternity ward by her captain marvel but when she went there it ended up getting overrun by skrulls and being super fucking pregnant she called carol for help, but the maternity ward was apparently in a black hole?? bc ofc it was lol. so jess protected all the women there, had an emergency c-section to give birth to her son gerry, then popped right off the table to finish kicking skrull ass. carol got there just in time for jess to collapse into her arms after the fight. headcanon — there was always a crush there but this was the moment jess fell hard.

had a liiittle teensy falling out with carol tho so she ended up kissing roger gocking/porcupine right in front of her during a battle that ended up repairing their friendship. then she went on to have a party announcing she and roger were dating but lbr she did most of this sub/consciously hoping to get a rise out of carol. but her spider-baby ended up crawling out a window and roger was the one to find and save him and there were some actual feelings there too, so. complicated. she kind of distanced herself from everything else to focus on p.i. work and raising her son.

not much later, jess realized her radiation immunity was gone and her powers were killing her, so she had roger take gerry to an upstate farm in case her condition could potentially harm her son, then set out on the search for a cure. that search of course, leading her to limbo city, nevada.

upon her arrival however, her memories quickly started to fade and by the time she woke up the next morning she had no specific recollection of memories. just innate and instinctive knowledge like her emotions toward people she was familiar with, emotional trauma that manifests mostly in her dreams, maternal instincts/yearning, her abilities both physical and learned, her interests and likes/dislikes, etc. things that come naturally to her, for the most part.

interestingly though, the town’s magic seems to have cured her??

gonna say she speaks english, romanian, german, hungarian, symkarian, russian, bulgarian, polish and spanish fluently, and knows a bit about a number of other languages.

incredibly intelligent, she is after all the daughter of a genius, raised among scientists conducting research, and her knowledge/intelligence was only maximized by her stasis education tapes.

exudes a high concentration of pheromones that can attract or repulse people, to put it simply. and ignore the original heteronormative connotations bc women aren't typically the ones she wants to repulse, and men arent always the ones she wants to attract. it's difficult to control but she learned over the years. even now without her memories she has innate control over it, but if she manages to work up a sweat (which isn't all that easy for her tbh) or misses a shower or two, well… it's gonna kick in.

she probably can't do it anymore in limbo because she can't remember how, but with her pheromones she learned to control them so well she was able to elicit fear, anxiety, attraction, hatred, pleasure, etc. and even used them to convince the hulk to make her a sandwich once.

fucking loves butter. she's been known to eat the stuff straight up. and a lot of it. lucky thing she has a spider-metabolism.

hc: she loves making puns, especially spider related ones. she also likes to annoy her spider-friends by spider-throwing the word spider in front of everything though it's obviously a joke, unlike in her cartoon where im pretty sure she was dead serious lol

hates rats. so much. she will tear down a whole skrull army but if one shapeshifts into a rat it's over okay, she already lost.

allergic to flerkens. which is great for visiting her bestie/crush, and her pet flerken chewie.

still has her suit but hasn’t worn it yet in limbo. she found it under her bed a couple days after “waking up” in limbo but put it right back because she figured it was probably some weird sex thing and maybe wasn’t even hers so, gross, yknow?