#sans Mona Lisa can’t hurt you
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afterartist · 2 years ago
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Got rizzed by the funny puppet show
If I see any of you being weird about the Welcome home characters I’m blocking you btw
Anyway, I posted this vid and am now too scared to go back on tiktok due to any possible backlash at my lack of funny bone men (im still going to be majorly focusing on Undertale DW, it hasn’t been my main hyperfixation of 8 years for nothing)
And as always, the frames
My sharp style doesn’t work with WH’s softer style but gosh dang it I’m trying
Apple buttons for extra rizz
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Also look!! You guys have an appearance now :D
Fresh style glasses cause they’re cool- shut-
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We don’t talk about this
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We never mention this
This never existed
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kuroken-lovechild · 3 years ago
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How haikyuu characters would play genshin impact:
//featuring me nerding out about mbti types 😔
Karasuno
Hinata
As an ESFP he would probably choose his main based on who feels good to use
Quick movements, lots of jumping, strong = XIAO MAIN (probably finds the flashiness and edginess cool and enjoys the button mashing too)
would aggressively compete with kageyama on who can beat spiral abyss the fastest and with the shortest time
unfortunately they’re both not very good (initially because kenma helps him out after)
Would try to follows the plot but dialogue goes over his head
Does not understand stats other than attack at first
Wish impulse is real and never has any primos
would attempt to talk to every npc
Kageyama
META SLAVE
Has no idea what wishing/gacha is at first and builds his starters really well
Then he found out and currently mains Ganyu, Zhongli, Hutao for the big numbers
gloats about his first 5 star to hinata
Does not talk to NPCs at all and barely digs into the story
only there for spiral abyss and to make his characters stronger
Tsukishima
Didn’t wanna play until yamaguchi dragged him in to have someone to co op with
Appreciates the story and lore more than the gameplay aspect
Eula, razor (cv uchiyama kouki) main—easy to build, easy to use
Doesn’t care about wishing either
Got Eula by accident and now holds it over kageyama’s head
Has really good artifact RNG that it infuriates kagehina (gloats about it to fan the flame 😚)
Yamaguchi
he’s infp he chooses based on characters he likes 🥺
Diluc, albedo, ayaka main
(i can’t explain why I think he’d like those three, it just Makes Sense)
Co ops with tsukki and yachi, plays both dps and support
Spiral abyss makes him anxious but he pushes through anyway!!
Daichi
Starter team king 😩
Feels bad about switching his regular team out FJDFJDJJDDJ DAICHI
Probably a casual player though
Plays to coop with suga and tanaka but they carry him through domains
he’s trying his best
Suga
Mains based on whoever’s fun to play too!!
but enjoys more of a challenge
Childe main
Waiting for Scaramouche to drop hAha 🥲 and harbingers in general
Appreciates the plot and is very interested in lore!!
Diligently does spiral abyss
Doesn’t quite wish on impulse, but if theres a character he likes he’ll spend everything on their banner
Asahi
Does not play, got too scared (see: haikyuu ova)
Nishinoya
Rolls VERY much on impulse
Similar to hinata in that he also likes playing playstyles that feel good
Xiao and/or yoimiya main
(xiao because he’s short jk)
Probably raised Rosaria and planned to use her
Plot who???? we only care about world exploration and fighting in this house
Tanaka
wished for all the women, raised all the women, uses all the women
valid
Primarily mains Rosaria, ningguang and Lisa though
sorry beidou you remind him of his sister too much
waiting for signora like many of us are
Coops with noya and has INSANELY bad rng luck
Yachi
Also chooses based on characters’ personalities
gay, mains sucrose and jean
isfj child and probably feels bad about the underrated characters :(
uses amber, xinyan and qiqi too!
Raises all characters but hasn’t raised anyone to 90
Coops with yamaguchi and uses jean (as healer, support, damage dealer)
Talks to NPCs and sympathizes with their sad backstories
Gets too anxious to do spiral floors 9-12 too (mood)
Seijoh
Oikawa
Oh boy
this ENFJ 3w2 guy? you KNOW he’s gonna be the best
As long as it doesn’t clash with volleyball of course
Very VERY competitive in abyss
Has one character hed get attached to but doesn’t limit himself to using them only
Incredibly focused on team synergy, carefully crafts teams to bring out the best in each character
Tests best damage output too
But also he’d probably use meta characters and secretly raise the ones he actually likes?
Current fave: Yoimiya
Uses strong characters for coop but uses his faves for single player domains (or coop with iwaizumi)
Likes characters but surprisingly wouldnt be too invested in the plot
does not whale out of pride
Iwaizumi
Geo user
Uses characters he finds respectable in the storyline + hard hitters
Razor, klee, jean main but unaware of the family relationship
Sometimes uses beidou although her burst takes too long sometimes
Pretty casual player, only started because of Oikawa
Hanamaki
obviously he and matsukawa would make zhongli pillar dick jokes
Kaeya and beidou main (he thinks they’re cool)
Not that impatient to wait for bursts to charge or has a lot of energy recharge
whale
Matsukawa
……. Hutao main
funeral home
Would use qiqi and hutao together for the meme then grows to genuinely like qiqi
Saves up for a really long time then spends it all at once
Kindaichi
Doesn’t play much tbh
Offline for a week, comes back to do commissions for one day, leaves
Kunimi
Hed be pretty good
but lazy and forget to do dailies
then buy welkin moon instead
Focuses more on the story too rather than gameplay and points out loopholes
Mains whoever he has in his team with good synergy (like chongyun xingqiu xiangling)
Kyoutani
Rage quits 5 minutes in after hearing paimon’s voice 😔
Throws his phone at the wall
Yahaba
Simps for jean
Mains jean
Dedicated to dailies and spiral abyss
But doesn’t wish that much
Was the one who tried getting kyoutani into it and suffered the consequences
Nekoma
Kuroo
ENTP king raises a whole arsenal of characters for spiral abyss
I cant see him really getting attached to one in particular ?
makes zhongli pillar dick jokes every chance he can get
but also uses him for utility
Wants to try using a whole bunch of characters and wishes on every banner
But uses the meta ones with good team comps
sparks twitter debates with ….. interesting takes
“_____ is completely shit”
Kenma
OH BOY HES A GAMER GAMER
Whale whale whale whale
He’s tony to
Best synergy teams, understands the value of elemental mastery, REALLY values good supports, calculates possible damage numbers
Kazuha, zhongli, bennett, venti are a staple in his teams
Helps hinata and kuroo until kuroo teases too much by deliberately playing horribly
mildom and youtube streamer like murase ayumu
Appreciates story and lore very much too
Yaku
he’d LOVE the children
Probably would use characters that remind him of family members and friends
Klee, diona, qiqi, chongyun, xingqiu, razor, bennett
does spiral abyss but not obsessively
Lev
KENMA-SAN!!! LETS PLAY TOGETHER!!!
I’m sorry he would not know how the game works
Doesn’t do the ascension quests and gets stuck at AR 26 with 500k extra points
Thinks he’s amazing but it’s because he’s stuck at world level 1
I’m sorry lev ily but ……. its the truth
Tries pulling for everyone too and mains the first 5 star he got
(childe because he’s russian AKSHDKDHSKSHS /j)
Wants diluc and xiao because they look cool but gets Mona instead (doesnt understand how to use her)
Yamamoto
Also raises the women like tanaka but + kaeya
Lev complained to him about getting Mona while he’s wanted Mona for months
Not really a dedicated intense gamer EXCEPT for during those battle events
Fukurodani
Bokuto
WANTS THE STRONG AND COOL LOOKING 5 STARS
Eula, zhongli, diluc, xiao
but doesn’t know how to build either
doesn’t understand stats
would feel really bad for qiqi
Wouldn’t like signora for hurting venti :(
Wouldn’t like childe too :( until he plays the story quest and sees the ruin guard cutscene
then starts sobbing because of what a good brother he is
“AKAAAASSHI I wanna do that too!!!” then he dies
Tries to use childe but doesn’t understand the cool down management
Mispronounces and misspells tartaglia (タルタリア)
for more info on how bokuto plays genshin see Kimura ryohei’s YouTube channel ✨
Akaashi
the true childe main (just like me)
Uses characters based on utility
but mains whoever reminds him of bokuto FJDHFJFJDKSJ
Very good supports but unlike Kenma, he chooses and builds supports around his main
also uses very good supports so people won’t realize he’s using childe for the cv kimura ryohei (everyone knows anyway)
Literature nerd appreciates the plot, writing and deep lore too
Konoha
Tries pulling for everyone but has REALLY bad luck
Has really good characters but never the one he wants
loses all 50/50s and has a c4 qiqi
Ends up maining qiqi as dps
sorry konoha i didn’t mean to slander you
Shiratorizawa
Ushijima
does not know how to play or build
Uses whoever he has (aka starters)
Only plays because tendou downloaded and made an account for him
Doesn’t know how to ascend characters or farm
Forgets about talents (me)
Weirdly good RNG and doesn’t realize it 😩
“Let me look at your account wakatoshi-kun”
“Sure”
“You didn’t tell me you had 6 of jean’s Stella fortuna???”
“What’s that?”
Tendou
this man pulls for the seiyuus
Mains childe, hutao, mona for 5 stars
childe and hutao’s instinct based quickswap playstyle works so well for him!
jokes about cosplaying mona then actually does
Knows how to build, grinds, and manages ushijima’s account for him
Probably whales too
Shirabu
Meta meta meta meta
But f2p meta
Loves setting up reactions
More into the lore too and researches theories
Remembers actual names of boss drops
Semi: so how many of those buttplugs do you have again
Shirabu: 💢stop calling them buttplugs, they have actual names 💢
VERY diligent with battle pass, dailies, achievements and spiral abyss full stars
Until he //SPOILERS gets into med school and has no time for shit
Inarizaki
Atsumu
Would have a crush on a character I just know it
Invests heavily on his faves and is great at utilizing each of them
fussy . complains about a certain unit and how they can improve
or complains about how the game can improve to osamu
Osamu: yer just saying that cuz you couldn’t get a high score
Archons main (already saving for the tsaritsa)
Wouldn’t have a main dps but several hard hitting supports
Whale and falls victim to the weapon banner
Osamu
More casual player than Atsumu but still tries to get higher than him in events and spiral abyss
If atsumu’s a whale, osamu’s a dolphin
Great at dodging
Catalyst user!!
Mains ningguang, klee, yanfei + other catalyst supports
Also uses keqing
Kita
the man appreciates routine aka VERY diligent with dailies, battle pass, farming
“if you do things properly results will follow” or whatever quote he said ✨
Starter team but raises other characters for abyss
Reads dialogue and appreciates the plot
Barely gachas
Aran
will defend TO THE DEATH the underappreciated characters
Has empathy for noelle 🥺🥺
Noelle, Barbara, xinyan, bennett, children user 🥺
Talks to every NPC and loves the backstories and lore
also would feel really bad for qiqi
Suna
Uses the tall men and women and builds them all as dps (childe zhongli diluc kaeya beidou ningguang jean lisa rosaria eula)
He’d probably make a support character a dps tbh
Disregards team synergy for the shits but somehow manages to do domains and abyss
Itachiyama
Sakusa
c6 everyone
leaves
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truemanblack · 7 years ago
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A/N: guess who’s back? I think the only day I won’t be updating is on this Thursday? I’ve been in a writing mood! but hey I made a playlist and I’m slowly adding to it. You can listen to it RIGHT HERE!!!
The Marriage: Part Four  Two Three
Harry and I had been sexting all day. It was funny how it started, looking back at our texts. It was so causal, I could see him sitting in his desk in class sending me these. While I was walking around some random mall in California. I was always curious why Harry went to a school in San Diego instead of Los Angeles. There was something about Los Angeles I hated, it was full of snobs and I just couldn’t deal. I was looking for a dress to wear on Saturday for our wedding (it’s still bizarre to say that). I was in the middle trying to decide if the dress I’m looking at was wedding “appropriate” Low cut front, nice and flowy, backless. Then a ping went off when I was pulling it off the rack. 
Harry: God, I can’t wait to be properly buried inside of you. You’ll be begging me to stop.
I love how Harry still kept up his proper English in his texts, for some reason it really turned me on. I took the dress to the dressing room as I was trying to figure out a good reply.
Aimee: Hm, I don’t think I’ll be the one begging to stop. I think you’ll be so drained of cum you’ll have to stop.
I gave myself a pat on the back for that one, along with sending him a nice nude pic for him to simmer with while I tried on the dresses I’ve gathered. I hated shopping, I tried to convince Harry to wear Hawaii shirts, but he noted we did have to be a little serious, the fat Elvis was already pushing it. The dress I was worried would be too “flashy” was the only one I liked. I think Harry wouldn’t mind it either, well come to think of it, I don’t think he cares I think he’s going to be thinking about taking it off. The next thing was buying a ring for Harry, which was going to be hard, since he’s flashy as ever with his rings. I was thinking a simple white gold band, so it wouldn’t clash too much with his others, cheaper as well, I only had so much I put away for splurging. I heard a ding on my phone – which for some reason startled me.
              “Hey there,” I looked up from my dirty text from Harry. Axel, of fucking course, it’s him.
Harry: You still think you’re in control, eh? I think not. I think your cute little ass would look covered in bruises.
That one made me squirm a bit, that a was weakness, and his hands were nice.
              “Hey,” I said shyly trying to cool down face, so I wouldn’t be blushing too hard.
              “What are you up to?” Oh shit. Harry and I discussed this morning, after a nice make out session, that we must start telling people about us so if immigration reaches out people will know we got married.
              “Wedding dress shopping.” I shrugged, though I was screaming on the inside. I could tell Axel would try to control a girl, but I really wanted to put him in his place after graduation.
              “Oh,” He was taken aback, “You’re getting married?”
              “Yeah, Harry and I-”
              “Harry?” I nodded, and pretty pissed he irrupted me. “They guy you were with the other day.”
              “Uh, yes, my boyfriend.”
              “I’m confused.”
              “Well, I think he’s my fiancé right now, but we’ve been friends for so long and we kinda of just fell into it and impulsively just decided to get hitched this weekend, and to see The Beatles cirque du soleil.”
              “Oh, well congrats, I have to get going.” Axel walked off before I could even say goodbye. I was more shocked that he fucking believed me. I needed to reply to Harry before he thought he got me.
Aimee: What about your cute little perky ass, daddy? It needs some lovin’
I sent him another nude I took while in the dressing room. I felt good about that one, not my best, but he was probably hard on his way home. I ordered and uber and made my way home, hoping to be there before Harry.
Which I did, I was running to my bedroom to find the shorts. Well Simon dubbed them the ass eating shorts, because they were pretty much doing that. I remember when I first moved in, I wore them around Harry and I couldn’t even to get him to respond to me, of course, I was loving it, but I had to be all shy and act as if I hated it; and stored them away. I heard the door unlock and I quickly put on a sweatshirt and walked out to see Harry.
              “Hey,” I watched him as he glared at me as he kicked off his shoes. “Hello?” I tried to act annoyed, but I knew he was truly annoyed. I walked towards him and put my hands on his back as he was walking towards the kitchen.
              “You’re such a brat,” He sighed shaking his head and I gave a pinch to his butt. He turned around and wrapped his arms around my waist, causing me to yelp. He picked me up and walked up both to the couch. I couldn’t help but to laugh as he did, he had me over his shoulder – which just made me continue to squeeze and pinch at his ass. “You think you’re so cute?” His voice was low as he threw me down on the couch. (Which was very hot, I was very turned on by that). I giggled in return as he straddled over me. “Take your hoodie off.”
              “No, I have nothing on under there.” I closed my eyes as he slipped his hands under the hoodie. “Plus, you get to see me all in less than two days, can’t you hold out.”
              “Not when you’re giving me photo preview and not a real one.”
              “You’re such a greedy boy, Harold.” My voice was low, and a smirk played on my lips. He was rolling his eyes while his hands were busy touching my bare torso. As they inched up towards my breasts. “You go there, and I’m going to punish you.” I moved one of my legs around his knee.
              “Yeah, I feel like you’re the one who needs punishing. You’re just teasing me, calling me daddy, you’re being a brat.”
              “Aw boohoo, Harold isn’t getting what he wants, how sad.” I brought one of my hands up to knuckle at my pretended to cry, which just made him hold one of my arms above my head.  So many girls got away with just being a ‘good girl’ to Harry. “I’m not a dog, so you’ll never see me be a good girl.” I tried to sit up and was quickly pushed back down by Harry. He pressed his hips to mine and moved his hand to my throat. I gripped his wrist and tried to give him an Indian burn to have him let go.
              “Can’t talk now, huh?” I pointed at his hand and rolled my eyes, he tightened his hand and I moved my foot to his stomach – which caused him to let go. He looked surprised and let go. I think he thought I was at my limit, which made me feel good. All the times he made my gullible ass believe him. I pouted and put my hands around my neck as if I was in pain. “I’m sorry, was that too much?” He was off the couch by now kneeled in front of me.
              “I jus-” I stood up and he followed me. “I can’t believe you’re so gullible.” I groaned as I tackled him to the ground. I put one of my hands around his neck – it wasn’t as effective as his was, which just made him smirk.
              “Aw, look at you, trying to be all tough.” I rolled my eyes as I looked on my person to tie his wrist with. The string from my hoodie will do. I quickly yanked it out and tried my best to get his wrist to his chest. “You’re not doing that, it’s gonna come loose, you know little brat, it’s not gonna stay.” I tied tighter, hoping the rough cotton would leave a mark.
              “Do you ever just shut the fuck up?” I groaned taking the hair tie from his wrist and pulling my hair up it. Tonight, Harry was going to learn, I really loved orgasm denial. I moved between his legs and started undoing his belt, then letting his jeans pop open. They were obviously too tight on him; the belt kept his pants buttoned. “Lift your hips,” I looked at him and a smirk was all over hips lips. “Lift your hips.” He still didn’t budge. So, I yanked his jeans off as roughly as I could. I heard him suck in his breath. “If you just listen to me, I won’t hurt you.”
Harry was already hard, I mean I already knew that, but he was really hard. His underwear was already stained with pre-cum. I pulled at the band, and Harry lifted his waist. I didn’t want to encourage him at all. But wow, he has a beautiful cock. Just like art, cocks are very subjective. If there was a cock louvre, his would be the Mona Lisa. The head was already blushing red, a vein that ran up the side. It was twitching a bit, I think he knew what was going on.
              “Are yeh gonna do anythin’?” The drunker or (now finding out) hornier Harry got, the thicker his accent got.
              “I kinda of want you to beg.” I put my arms on each of his knees. “I would like that, very much actually.”
              “For fucks sake.” He groaned, and I pouted.
              “Oh, I suddenly remember, I don’t want to suck your cock.” I sighed and crooked my head to my side. “Unless you wanna convince me.”
              “You know I can get up right?”
              “But are you? I mean you have me right here, between your legs, with your cock right there.” I blinked at him and he arched his back and groaned. “I mean, I think my mouth is the closest thing you’ll get right now to what you would call ‘my pretty little cunt’, hm? What do you think, baby?”
              “Please.” He whispered. I could get up and do a happy dance.
              “I’m sorry, I couldn’t here you, baby.”
              “Please.” He spoke up a bit more, it wasn’t enough. I really wanted to get it out of him. He was gripping at his fingers and twirling at his rings – since it was the only things he could grab at.
              “Please what? I don’t speak baby talk.” He huffed, and I couldn’t be more excited, I could let him cum, but I’m not.
              “Please suck me.” He whispered, I could tell that’s probably the most I was going to get out of him – well at least now. I would try at a later date to have him whine that. I grinned and gladly took him into my mouth. I wanted to tease him, so I took just the head in giving it a light suck, then licking up his length. I paused for a second looking at him, his eyes were open, and pupils dilated. I grinned and heard him whine, I’m assuming from me holding out for so long. I took him in my mouth, hollowing my cheeks and finding a rhythm. I kept my hands at his base to give me a break now and again, but I craved his weight on my tongue. I took him in deeper, trying to get most of his length (which would be a bit difficult) but I could tell he was close.
              “Yeh can’t even get all of me in yeh pretty little mouth, take it easy.” He was breathy, his cock was twitchy, and I knew I had to stop. Especially after that.
I stood up and brushed off my clothes. “Yeah no.” I groaned and started to walk towards the kitchen.
              “What the fuck!” Harry yelled as I shuffled through the kitchen to find a water bottle. “You did this already before, you fucking, can’t.”
              “I just did.” I grinned looking back at him. I felt like it was a but unfair to leave him tied up. I started walking towards him and untie his wrists and quickly walked away from him.
              “I can’t fucking stand you, why do you keep doing this to me.” Harry quickly stood up pulling his pants and underwear up.
              “Don’t talk to me the way you did, and I won’t do that.” I grinned, and he pinned me against the wall. I could still feel how hard he was just from him pressing his hips to mine. He quickly turned me around so my chest to was towards the wall and held my wrists in his hand while the other has my ponytail wrapped roughly around his hand.
              “You better fucking listen good,” Harry’s lips were right against my ear. “I’m going to let you cum, and it’s the only time you’ll feel cum coming out of that greedy little cunt of yours all weekend.” I giggled as he spoke, I just couldn’t take him seriously as he just was begging for me moments before. He let go of my ponytail and roughly pulled my shorts down. “You knew what you were doing the moment you put those shorts on, you didn’t even wear panties you, little slut.” His fingers quickly found their way inside of me and he was thrusting them hard and fast. I was on my tip toes. I bit at my lips so he wasn’t able to get not even a moan from me, except I knew I was gonna cum really quick since it’s been so long.
              “Look at yeh,” He breathed in my ear as his thumb found its way to my clit and he was roughly circling it. “Drippin’ for me, all down yeh legs.” I could feel skin break from inside my lip. I was so close, and he said he was going to let me cum. I closed my eyes as he changed his pace, making his fingers drag out slowly while his thumb stayed at the same pace. “Cum, yeh not gonna be doin’ it for long.” I tried to hold out longer, but I could feel it in the pit of my stomach. I closed my eyes and exhaled, I was just proud that he didn’t get a sound out of me. He kept going until I started stomping my feet.
              “Stop!” I groaned, and he pulled away. He slipped his fingers in his mouth and moaned.
              “Such a shame I won’t be tasting that for a bit.” I rolled my eyes and pulled my shorts back up. I pulled my hair out of the ponytail and moved to Harry on the couch. “I did get to cum,” He was back to his cool calm self. I shook my head and rested against the arm of the couch. “I do mean it no cum for you.”
              “Can’t deny your wife like that.” I replied, and he smirked.
              “I mean I have a whole year to not have you cum.”
              “You wouldn’t fucking dare.” Harry laughed, and his dimples popped out. He glanced over at me before lancing his fingers and looking at them.
              “You’re oddly, okay about this.” He glanced at me, his face was softened. “Like, I’m totally cool with it don’t get me wrong, but you’re like really okay with it.”
              “I currently don’t have a brain; vagina has taken over.” It was true, I wasn’t really thinking about my actions or thinking this through. “The marriage, I’m for sure about, the sex, you’re gonna have to fuck me a few times before the haze is gone.”
              “You’re a dick for brains right now?” Harry laughed his eyebrow raising.
              “That’s all you got out of that?”
              “No, I just know I’m gonna have to prepare for spazzy anxiety Aimee again soon.” He shrugged. “It’s not a bad thing, just means I’ve got to figure out a way to last longer. Keep you blissed out.”
              “Jesus Christ."
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anotheruserwithnoname · 8 years ago
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Spoilers ... not so sweet
(Ironic as it may sound - spoiler warning for World Enough and Time and to a degree The Doctor Falls.)
I’m not sugarcoating the fact I disliked “World Enough and Time”. I explained why in another post, but the tl;dr was I was hoping for something on par with Heaven Sent and I didn’t get it. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised. Does anyone even remember what Da Vinci painted next after finishing the Mona Lisa?
Anyway, I might have been more receptive to the episode, even with its boring “marching in place” middle act, had there not been virtually zero surprises. OK, there were a few dialogue things that were unexpected. and while I predicted early on who Razor really was (the pantomime accent immediately reminded me of one of Anthony Ainley’s disguises in the Davison era and once I made that comparison, it clicked immediately) the actual reveal was well handled.
But everything else was spoiled. Bill being converted. The regeneration bit. The return of Sim. The return of the original Cybermen and Mondas. And for the most part, this wasn’t due to overenthusiastic fans broadcasting tidbits they’d learned. Most of this was done by the BBC itself. Months ago they circulated the photos of Capaldi meeting the Cybermen. Which not only spoiled the episode - it also spoiled the outcome of that fake regeneration a few weeks back.  And we’ve known for months that Simm was returning, too. And then just a few days ago the BBC de facto spoiled the Bill-being-converted bit by releasing a photo showing the Doctor tenderly reaching out towards the chestplate of a Cyberman.
And it’s going to happen again next week. The Next Time trailer for The Doctor Falls pretty much took out all the mystery for me, and I’ve refused to look at the main trailer, but the damage was done. Makes me wonder why I should even bloody bother to watch the episode, you know?
This isn’t the first time. Two years ago after Heaven Sent aired, those of us who were too emotionally drained to turn the TV off found ourselves viewing a Next Time trailer that spoiled Clara’s return, just as the Next Time trailer for Face the Raven pretty much showed us everything related to Clara’s death. And even before Face the Raven aired we were already seeing promos sans Clara for The Husbands of River Song. And the fact is the BBC green lit Jenna Coleman announcing before S9 began that she was leaving. It is not uncommon for actors to do more than one series at a time (Peter Davison did two series at the same time he was on Doctor Who), so reports of her filming Victoria would have not made a difference (if she had stayed with the show there would have been plenty of time for her to film a good portion of Series 10 between Victoria S1 and S2). Imagine the impact of Clara’s death in Face the Raven if we didn’t know she was leaving.
Two years running, the finales of the show have been spoiled by the BBC themselves. What happened to keeping things quiet? When Missy revealing herself as the Master was an actual surprise? When Karen Gillan and Matt Smith’s late-day cameos bookending Capaldi’s arrival came out of nowhere? When John Hurt turned to the camera at the end of S7 and everyone screamed? When the BBC hosted public showings of Asylum of the Daleks yet was still able to keep quiet about Jenna’s early bird debut?
At this rate I fully expect the “coming soon” trailer at the end of The Doctor Falls will show us the face of the Thirteenth Doctor, a detailed description of how it happens, and probably also reveal whether or not Clara appears again.
I’ve heard rumours that Chris Chibnall plans to clamp down on this. I hope he does. You can’t always protect against leaks and people being spotted on location. The BBC and Russell T Davies had no choice but to reveal ahead of Series 4 that Rose was coming back because she’d been spotted on location so there was little point. But so much of the spoilage of the last 2 seasons was, in my opinion, a self-inflicted injury. And the worst part is trying to avoid spoilers becomes even harder when the people making the show don’t seem to give a damn.
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ayu-sin-blog · 7 years ago
Text
Simplicity, Not that Simple
My life’s new mantra is “less is more”
When it comes to dressing up every day, my mind simply refuses to even try and make a complex outfit. I mean the maximum number of garments I can wear at a time is 3! That’s it. My mind simply goes into overdrive when more than 3 pieces of clothing are involved! Don’t get me wrong, I salute those of you who have the capacity to wear more than 3, unnecessary pieces of clothing, I really do. But I don’t think I would ever go that far and pile on all sorts of layers. I mean we live in INDIA for god’s sake! There’s no escaping the sun!
For me, the clothes that I wear serve a purpose. Now I possibly can’t walk around sans pants or topless, so I wear my tops and bottoms. If I’m feeling cold, I wear a jacket. But more than that?! I would only let it slide (without rolling my eyes super hard) if it’s 3 degrees outside and you’re freezing to death and need layers and layers to keep yourself dying from hypothermia!
But what happens when it’s hot outside, which is more than half the year? Do people think about practicality or they are just so devoted and faithful to the lords of fashion that they would rather sacrifice comfort just to please them?  (Oh please, chic almighty please accept my offering!) Okay no.
Would anyone care to explain to me why someone would wear a bralette on top of a fucking shirt and then layer it with an overcoat!? Come on, I know the male audience can work with me too.
I wish I could put up pictures of some of the most ridiculous outfits I have seen over time. …but I guess that would be a little mean.
Don’t your eyes hurt sometimes because there is SO MUCH happening in a picture?
Don’t you feel like taking a step back and just taking a deep breath and wishing there was more simplicity around?
I know I do.
So I have decided to develop my personal sense of style around this mantra. I have now understood that you don’t have to follow the over-crowded crowd! There is already too much going on in there and maybe if you step in, it might explode anytime!
I like things that don’t have a lot happening around. Less is more and when you have lesser to focus on the better you can pay attention to something.
If you’ve noticed, over doing things is easy. Just mush in loads of things together and people will think, “Oh wow what complexity!” “Brilliant!”
Yes, okay.. complexity and attention to details does create interest. But sometimes, it’s also good to not think so much. Being an over thinker, my mind is usually on overdrive, thinking all sorts of things most of the time. But sometimes, we all need to ‘take a chill-pill’ and calm down.
http://cavemancircus.com/2015/07/30/15-ridiculous-pieces-of-art-that-sold-for-millions-of-dollars/
If you follow the link above, you will see extremely plain and simple pieces of art that were sold for millions! And one would immediately think “WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY SEE IN THEM! I could make that shit!”
But did you?
Did you ever think of just leaving the canvas plain?
No.
And that’s why those people sold, Simplicity, for millions! While you were thinking about and searching for the next Mona Lisa!
I too remember reading about how this canvas which was painted completely blue was sold for millions and that’s exactly what I thought as well. But now is when I really understand why.
It’s not easy to think simple things. If you think about it, the hardest thing to make for a painter was a straight line. NOT a masterpiece. And to come to think of it, whoever did draw it for the first time, probably didn’t have any instrument, like a scale. A whole lot of people can make all kinds of complicated and abstract things by being inspired by things around.  But who would have thought that making a straight line took more creativity than making a masterpiece? Think about it, how many straight things were actually there in nature the first time someone drew a straight line? And how did they truly know, it was straight?
Makes your mind jog doesn’t it?
Hell, I still can’t draw a straight line without a scale. Now imagine what my Hindi notebook must have looked like in school.
When you have too many elements in a recipe, when you have too many options on a menu, when there are too many tunes in a song, your brain must go like WOW this is a lot! Calm your tits/dicks!
So go home, relieve yourself and your mind of the clutter and unwind.
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astranxmica · 8 years ago
Text
colonel sara lance
Sara Lance / 30 / Colonel in PPDC / Jaeger Ranger
Striker Eureka / Laurel Lance ( @sonicanary ) / Ranger Pilot / Phase: 1 & 2
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Biography:
History
Sara was old enough to remember the first breaches-- the horror of San Francisco and the three-hundred-foot-tall kaiju later deemed Trespasser. It had been horrifying, like watching a trainwreck in slow motion for days on end-- the mighty human race so superior on their high horse of Darwinism finally knew what it was like to be a bug squashed under heel. She can remember sitting upon her father’s shoulders as they watched the K-Day parade and cheered, believing the worst was over-- but then there was Hundun in Manila, Kaicephin Cabo, and they weren’t going to stop. She would never forget the moment she understood the full threat ( sixteen years old and sitting on a roof ) but it wasn’t until her father enlisted in the PPDC that the reality of their situation became perfectly clear. 
Still, as she watched through coverage of every drop he took in ROMEO BLUE, there was something that began to replace the fear and the hopelessness. Two Lance sisters found themselves without question enlisting in the Jaeger Academy ( though Quentin did everything in her power to convince his two little girls otherwise ), and it would seem slaying humongous monsters was in their blood, because of the American candidates they immediately separated themselves from the other candidates-- their neural drift compatibility of legendary levels, despite how different the two siblings were, they were perfectly suited for fighting in a Jaeger. ( THE STRONGER YOUR DRIFT, THE BETTER YOU FIGHT ) 
When they finally landed in the suit, when it was just their will against other-worldly KAIJU, they performed better than could have been expected-- and Quentin Lance had set the bar high. In the Los Angeles Shatterdome, they also began to establish themselves among the ranks of leadership in the PPCD-- over their time as pilots killing six Kaiju in Romeo Blue before being gifted Eureka Striker just five years before the Jaeger program ( the first and the last of the Mark V’s ). When approached by Marshall Abernathy, the Lance Sisters asks to run point on a final hail-mary, they didn’t hesitate in moving their mission and Jaeger to the Hong Kong Shatterdome. 
Personality
Sara is guarded and mission-oriented. There are plenty of people who would describe this behavior as a desire to keep secrets, but after the life, she’s lived, its merely easier to keep things in their compartments and ignore the complications of attachments outside those which are necesary. She uses physicality to speak in place of emotions. This doesn’t mean that she cannot, when she is inclined, turn on a considerable amount of charm. ( Is that charm entirely geniune, not unless Sara knows you well enough to trust you with honesty. ) She is also startingly intense. Whatever she feels, she feels with a depth that other people might find difficult to understand. This is just another reason for his distance-- some people can’t handle her and she doesn’t want exactly how deeply she feels exposed to just anyone. 
Paradoxically, Sara tends to be quite aloof on the surface. Even when she likes someone, she'll still fix those steely eyes on that person and make him/her quake all the way down to his/her boots. The more she wants something, the less likely it is she'll let on. This all plays very nicely into her psychological game of getting what she really wants. Even in the middle of a fight with the love of her life, this woman will dare her lover to pack up and leave. Don't be fooled. This is just a tactic designed to test the strength of your love. At a board meeting, she'll calmly walk away from talks letting her opponent sweat it out a bit. Again, this calm exterior is designed to get everyone to fall in line.
Whether it's her crystaline turquoise ireses or her Mona Lisa smile, Sara radiates an easy sexuality, but there's a dangerous quality that lurks just beneath the surface. You just don't know if she's going to have her way with you, hurt you terribly, or do both. Perhaps it also helps that Sara is also incredibly magnetic. Whether this is due to her seething emotional life or her capacity to understand the darker nature in everyone, Sara just draws people to themselves. Much like the spider and the fly, once you've been invited in, there's only a slim chance you'll leave.
Family
Mother -- Dinah Lance ( desceased )
Father -- Marshall Quentin Lance, PPDC officer
Sister -- Laurel Lance, co-pilot STRIKER EUREKA 
Likes / Dislikes 
LIKES:
loyalty and respect [ both given and received where it's due ] 
control [ of herself and situations around her ]
sex && good scotch && and getting her way
family, friends, comrades with whom she can confide
fixing problems and solving issues [ quickly && efficiently ]
eureka striker, essentially she loves her
teasing [ especially with a worthy opponent ]
DISLIKES:
bull shitters, hypocrites, people who can’t pull their weight 
people getting in her way when she thinks she’s right
devaluing her work, her family, or any sacrifice 
having to reveal a secret before she cares to do so...
passive people [ don’t lowkey hate me, highkey hate me ]
people who think they’re entitled to anything
people prying into her emotions or secrets 
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leehaws · 6 years ago
Text
Kawhi Leonard’s Handle is the Secret to his Success
Kawhi Leonard is 27 years old, enjoying the prime of a career that’s already turned him into the most complete basketball player in the world. He can score efficiently at all three levels, shoot, rebound, create for teammates, and, without help, defend just about every player in the league.
But when Phil Handy—an assistant coach for the Toronto Raptors who specializes in skill development and has worked closely with LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Kyrie Irving, among many others—met Leonard over the summer and asked what part of his game he most wanted to improve, the two-time Defensive Player of the Year had ball-handling at the top of his list.
“Great players are great players, and I think they become even better players when they’re willing to get out of their comfort zone and just work on different things,” Handy told VICE Sports. “Kawhi was already a good ball-handler. I just think a lot of people didn’t really get to see that part of his game. It was there.”
They started with simple combinations and focused on improving his balance, base, and footwork, then blended in additional moves with multiple variations. Repetition was key. The objective wasn’t necessarily to teach Leonard new ways to transport himself from Point A to Point B on a basketball court so much as it was to plow what he already knew even deeper into his psyche. Now, when Leonard does something with the ball, his reflexes kick in before his brain has time to process what’s going on.
“Sometimes the dribbling exercises you put guys through, it may not be something they actually use on the floor but it gives transference. Their instincts become better,” Handy said. “They just instinctually start to go from one handle to another to another when they’re in different situations in games.”
He’s availing himself with a broader palette. Here’s Leonard getting hounded by Minnesota Timberwolves rookie Josh Okogie. When he goes between his legs and Okogie reaches in for the steal, Leonard spins baseline fast enough to convince viewers the move was directed by a choreographer.
The result of Leonard’s hard work during the offseason is clear every night. After a lost year in which he only appeared in nine games, Leonard has not only re-inserted himself into MVP and “best player alive” debates, but has also emerged in his first year with the Raptors as arguably the best ball-handler at his position. Plays like the one seen below are already typical.
On the San Antonio Spurs, Leonard’s handle felt like a pencil sketch of the Mona Lisa. Greatness was imminent, but operating in place of flair and spectacle was a robotic efficiency that never really needed to evolve. Every dribble inside Gregg Popovich’s system was a wasted opportunity to pass or shoot, and who was to argue with that calculus? His straight line drives regularly led to tomahawk dunks. The Spurs were a juggernaut. That doesn’t mean Leonard was stagnant, though. He itched to journey past the fundamentals which had already been mastered. There was strobe-light training and a demand to create more than separation for his own shot, particularly in the playoffs, as Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili aged out of their responsibilities.
“He always was able to get to his spots, but now he is so comfortable anywhere,” Jamal Crawford told VICE Sports. “His handle is to the point where he does things to hop into shots, along with getting to the rim, along with using it to get his space in the mid-range.”
Today, Leonard’s ball-handling is an ideal marriage between style and substance; it’s grown from garnish to bedrock. There’s more fluidity and jazz at a higher volume. His dribbles per touch are at a career high, and shots attempted after at least three dribbles account for over 57.2 percent of his own offense. (Two seasons ago that was 42 percent, and one before that it was 37.1 percent.) Leonard is also averaging 5.3 more drives per game than he did three years ago, and 1.5 more than his last healthy season with the Spurs. (So far, only 36 percent of Leonard’s shots have been assisted. His previous career low was 48 percent, and in his third year that number was all the way up at 59 percent.)
“San Antonio did a phenomenal job developing Kawhi and helping him become a better player. I just think it was a different system.” Handy said. “The flow of our offense puts him in different situations where he’s able to expand a little bit more.”
The hard work is paying off, but a change of scenery hasn’t hurt. When I asked why he’s been able to showcase his ball-handling a bit more this season than in year’s past, Leonard acknowledged Toronto’s system and how he’s being utilized: “It’s pretty much just the offense that we’re running. I’m just able to come off pin downs and there’s a lot of cross screens and dribble hand-offs. Nick’s just doing a good job of spacing out the floor.”
Where lineups earlier in his career rarely prioritized offensive gravity over defensive intimidation, Leonard now operates with four three-point shooters by his side (including Pascal Siakam, who’s making a relatively impressive 34.6 percent of his threes right now), in an era designed for stars to take advantage of extra room. When he receives a pick high above the three-point line, Leonard skis downhill and sticks the screener’s defender on an island. It’s impossible to guard, but switching isn’t much of an alternative.
“We knew he could score in and out and off screens and all those kind of things. Play in transition some. And now we’re kind of getting him more in the screen-and-roll game, so he’s learning. And I think he’s starting to see things a little bit better too. He’s finding some kick-outs and passes out of there, and those guys are gonna need to step in and make them,” Raptors head coach Nick Nurse said. “So he can do everything, right? He can do everything, and we’ll just keep progressing with keeping it in his hands in all situations.”
Sit 15 feet away when he warms up at the free-throw line, as I did before a recent Raptors game, and it’s impossible to ignore just how small everything looks in his hands—if the basketball is Earth’s surface, Leonard’s hands are its oceans. At the NBA combine in 2011, his hands were 11.25 inches wide—which is wider than every player measured at the last four combines—and served as exclamation points at the tip of his 7’3” wingspan. They’ve always been his closest friends, around to help deflect passes and tally unreachable steals, sky for a rebound or finish a contested layup. And now more than ever, it’s hard to negate their usefulness when he handles the ball, too.
“Kawhi is really long, so my tendency when I’m working with guys that are long is to help them tighten their handle,” Handy said. “It makes sense biomechanically with your body, if you’re sitting in a wider stance it’s going to help you keep your length in.”
Leonard has more control over his entire body than the average person does over their big toe. Merge that discipline with unparalleled physical dimensions that directly impact his ability to manipulate a basketball, and what you get is a unique handle that defenses can’t really stop. He’s even more compact and under control than he used to be, which, when talking about someone who already takes care of the ball better than any star in the league, is really saying something. It allows him to alter tempos whenever/wherever he wants.
“He doesn’t play at a breakneck speed, but when he changes speeds he’s fast,” Handy said. “He just kind of puts you to sleep with the way he plays, and then boom. He’s really deceptive like that.”
The first time I re-watched this video, I thought the fourth dribble was a glitch; I’m still not 100 percent positive the ball physically travels went between his legs:
Already one of world’s best players, Leonard’s growth in this specific area has elevated his ceiling and made it even less possible to slow him down. Try and trap him and he’ll turn the corner, draw two defenders and still create enough space for a baseline fadeaway. Leonard regularly rips the ball off the rim and goes coast-to-coast, swiveling through defenders with an in-and-out move that’s executed to perfection at top speed. His between-the-legs crossover is lightning and his one, two, three-dribble pull-ups are virtually unguardable. Leonard’s handle isn’t the entree of his skill-set, but it complements everything else that makes him a franchise-altering talent. And just like every other gem who thrives in the same rarefied tier, the best is yet to come.
“I don’t care who you are, Kyrie, Steve Nash, Chris Paul. I don’t think you ever get to a point in your career where you say ‘OK, that’s enough with my ball-handling,’” Handy said. “You always have to constantly continue to get the rhythm of the basketball, and keep your handles tight, so wherever you are on the floor there’s any combination of dribbles you can use.”
Kawhi Leonard’s Handle is the Secret to his Success syndicated from https://justinbetreviews.wordpress.com/
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flauntpage · 6 years ago
Text
Kawhi Leonard's Handle is the Secret to his Success
Kawhi Leonard is 27 years old, enjoying the prime of a career that’s already turned him into the most complete basketball player in the world. He can score efficiently at all three levels, shoot, rebound, create for teammates, and, without help, defend just about every player in the league.
But when Phil Handy—an assistant coach for the Toronto Raptors who specializes in skill development and has worked closely with LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, and Kyrie Irving, among many others—met Leonard over the summer and asked what part of his game he most wanted to improve, the two-time Defensive Player of the Year had ball-handling at the top of his list.
“Great players are great players, and I think they become even better players when they’re willing to get out of their comfort zone and just work on different things,” Handy told VICE Sports. “Kawhi was already a good ball-handler. I just think a lot of people didn’t really get to see that part of his game. It was there.”
They started with simple combinations and focused on improving his balance, base, and footwork, then blended in additional moves with multiple variations. Repetition was key. The objective wasn’t necessarily to teach Leonard new ways to transport himself from Point A to Point B on a basketball court so much as it was to plow what he already knew even deeper into his psyche. Now, when Leonard does something with the ball, his reflexes kick in before his brain has time to process what’s going on.
“Sometimes the dribbling exercises you put guys through, it may not be something they actually use on the floor but it gives transference. Their instincts become better,” Handy said. “They just instinctually start to go from one handle to another to another when they’re in different situations in games.”
He's availing himself with a broader palette. Here’s Leonard getting hounded by Minnesota Timberwolves rookie Josh Okogie. When he goes between his legs and Okogie reaches in for the steal, Leonard spins baseline fast enough to convince viewers the move was directed by a choreographer.
The result of Leonard's hard work during the offseason is clear every night. After a lost year in which he only appeared in nine games, Leonard has not only re-inserted himself into MVP and “best player alive” debates, but has also emerged in his first year with the Raptors as arguably the best ball-handler at his position. Plays like the one seen below are already typical.
On the San Antonio Spurs, Leonard’s handle felt like a pencil sketch of the Mona Lisa. Greatness was imminent, but operating in place of flair and spectacle was a robotic efficiency that never really needed to evolve. Every dribble inside Gregg Popovich’s system was a wasted opportunity to pass or shoot, and who was to argue with that calculus? His straight line drives regularly led to tomahawk dunks. The Spurs were a juggernaut. That doesn’t mean Leonard was stagnant, though. He itched to journey past the fundamentals which had already been mastered. There was strobe-light training and a demand to create more than separation for his own shot, particularly in the playoffs, as Tim Duncan, Tony Parker, and Manu Ginobili aged out of their responsibilities.
“He always was able to get to his spots, but now he is so comfortable anywhere,” Jamal Crawford told VICE Sports. “His handle is to the point where he does things to hop into shots, along with getting to the rim, along with using it to get his space in the mid-range.”
Today, Leonard’s ball-handling is an ideal marriage between style and substance; it’s grown from garnish to bedrock. There's more fluidity and jazz at a higher volume. His dribbles per touch are at a career high, and shots attempted after at least three dribbles account for over 57.2 percent of his own offense. (Two seasons ago that was 42 percent, and one before that it was 37.1 percent.) Leonard is also averaging 5.3 more drives per game than he did three years ago, and 1.5 more than his last healthy season with the Spurs. (So far, only 36 percent of Leonard’s shots have been assisted. His previous career low was 48 percent, and in his third year that number was all the way up at 59 percent.)
"San Antonio did a phenomenal job developing Kawhi and helping him become a better player. I just think it was a different system." Handy said. "The flow of our offense puts him in different situations where he’s able to expand a little bit more."
The hard work is paying off, but a change of scenery hasn’t hurt. When I asked why he’s been able to showcase his ball-handling a bit more this season than in year’s past, Leonard acknowledged Toronto’s system and how he’s being utilized: “It’s pretty much just the offense that we’re running. I’m just able to come off pin downs and there’s a lot of cross screens and dribble hand-offs. Nick’s just doing a good job of spacing out the floor.”
Where lineups earlier in his career rarely prioritized offensive gravity over defensive intimidation, Leonard now operates with four three-point shooters by his side (including Pascal Siakam, who's making a relatively impressive 34.6 percent of his threes right now), in an era designed for stars to take advantage of extra room. When he receives a pick high above the three-point line, Leonard skis downhill and sticks the screener’s defender on an island. It’s impossible to guard, but switching isn't much of an alternative.
“We knew he could score in and out and off screens and all those kind of things. Play in transition some. And now we’re kind of getting him more in the screen-and-roll game, so he’s learning. And I think he’s starting to see things a little bit better too. He’s finding some kick-outs and passes out of there, and those guys are gonna need to step in and make them,” Raptors head coach Nick Nurse said. “So he can do everything, right? He can do everything, and we’ll just keep progressing with keeping it in his hands in all situations.”
Sit 15 feet away when he warms up at the free-throw line, as I did before a recent Raptors game, and it’s impossible to ignore just how small everything looks in his hands—if the basketball is Earth's surface, Leonard’s hands are its oceans. At the NBA combine in 2011, his hands were 11.25 inches wide—which is wider than every player measured at the last four combines—and served as exclamation points at the tip of his 7’3” wingspan. They’ve always been his closest friends, around to help deflect passes and tally unreachable steals, sky for a rebound or finish a contested layup. And now more than ever, it’s hard to negate their usefulness when he handles the ball, too.
“Kawhi is really long, so my tendency when I’m working with guys that are long is to help them tighten their handle,” Handy said. “It makes sense biomechanically with your body, if you’re sitting in a wider stance it’s going to help you keep your length in.”
Leonard has more control over his entire body than the average person does over their big toe. Merge that discipline with unparalleled physical dimensions that directly impact his ability to manipulate a basketball, and what you get is a unique handle that defenses can’t really stop. He’s even more compact and under control than he used to be, which, when talking about someone who already takes care of the ball better than any star in the league, is really saying something. It allows him to alter tempos whenever/wherever he wants.
“He doesn’t play at a breakneck speed, but when he changes speeds he’s fast,” Handy said. “He just kind of puts you to sleep with the way he plays, and then boom. He’s really deceptive like that.”
The first time I re-watched this video, I thought the fourth dribble was a glitch; I’m still not 100 percent positive the ball physically travels went between his legs:
Already one of world’s best players, Leonard’s growth in this specific area has elevated his ceiling and made it even less possible to slow him down. Try and trap him and he'll turn the corner, draw two defenders and still create enough space for a baseline fadeaway. Leonard regularly rips the ball off the rim and goes coast-to-coast, swiveling through defenders with an in-and-out move that's executed to perfection at top speed. His between-the-legs crossover is lightning and his one, two, three-dribble pull-ups are virtually unguardable. Leonard's handle isn't the entree of his skill-set, but it complements everything else that makes him a franchise-altering talent. And just like every other gem who thrives in the same rarefied tier, the best is yet to come.
“I don’t care who you are, Kyrie, Steve Nash, Chris Paul. I don’t think you ever get to a point in your career where you say ‘OK, that’s enough with my ball-handling,’” Handy said. “You always have to constantly continue to get the rhythm of the basketball, and keep your handles tight, so wherever you are on the floor there’s any combination of dribbles you can use.”
Kawhi Leonard's Handle is the Secret to his Success published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/
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doubledaffy · 7 years ago
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PARIS DAY 07 - 1/12/18 You think we slept in again. Welp, you’re wrong. Asshole. We learned our lesson and woke up and got out in the 9’s, which is pretty stellar for us. Took the mother F’n Metro over to your classic Montmartre to grab some traditional French breakfast at a little bakery - Coquelicot (it means poppy!) Traditional French breakfast means you just eat bread and try not to care if you’re a carb avoider like me (lately). They were playing some live J-Cole mixtape I’ve never heard in there and the old woman running the place was mouthing all the lyrics. Just kidding. I had eggs and a croissant and salad and tomato’s and mushrooms and hot chocolate. They did NOT speak English there and it was great - but I did have a little OOPS moment while ordering - I thought it was Coffee AND Hot Chocolate or Tea. Nope. It’s Coffee OR Hot Chocolate OR Tea. You get one. No one in their right minds serves you Coffee AND Tea, you loser. The coffee comes in a BOWL which is pretty sweet. Two hand slurp style. I took so long to poop that the automatic sensor light shut off 6 times while Daisy waited in the cold. Sorry. Slid up to Sacre Coeur. Same some French armed guard bopping around with massive guns and berets. Very Handsome. Very Scary. We went INSIDE the church. It was okay - seen better more lavish holy spots, like in Spain or Italy for example. I got yelled at for keeping my hat on. You need to take your hat off so Jesus can look into your brain, sans-obstruction. I did not get a Pope trinket for 10 euros. We did not get our portraits drawn in the little square but we thought about it. Some of the art from the street vendors is just ever-so. Tried to eat at No Problemo, but it was a classic meat heavy place - duck, ham, veal, etc. All the real EVIL meat that I don’t eat. I once saw a video on Instagram of a pig running over and wanting a belly rub. I can’t eat anything that, like, really wants its belly rubbed. Daisy got a cool crew neck sweatshirt at a small design shop called “The Woods” - stopped at A.P.C and Isakin for some neato men’s fashion. There was a button down at Isakin that was the exact same one I had on, except mine cost way more and was made in USA. Theirs was made in Portugal. Same fabric and all. Hard to know what’s going on in the fashion world. I bet they didn’t expect me to stumble upon their huge shirt scam. Well I did. The jig is up! Oh, so guess what? We ended up going to the Louvre! It was crowded but not too bad. We hit the cafe first to recharge. Saw the Mona Lisa, which was BIGGER than I thought, because everyone tells you how small it is. Dude, it’s a regular painting. Regular size. Not sure why that one gets all the hype. Lots of great paintings in there. Did that one stop a war or something? Did it change the course of history? Or was the marketing team on point for Davinci back then? No way of finding out. No way at all. That whole museum is just a big pissing contest. One artist trying to out do the last. Pitiful. Our baby feet and little legs hurt so metro home wherein Daisy passed O U T on the baby couch under the big white blanky we stole from the bed. I took a a tiny nap too but ultimately researched a place to get a 40 min foot massage and some vegan dinner. Woke up Daisy 20mins before the foot massage and dipped over. Holy shit. We got the same room, 2 beds on the ground, Thai style. They should call it “everything but your midsection” massage. They hooked it up and we really needed it. Walked to vegan din din spot - La Potager Du Marais. Very good. Very vegan. Very nice wine. Now were “home” and need to pack. Boy oh boy, I can’t seem to figure out the dryer - like AT. ALL. Clothes are soaking wet. Like not acceptable. Overall we had a great trip, it was chill and nice and needed after not traveling since Japan in January 2017. Def need some real nature now. Next trip is to Jackson Hole for my 40th. Can’t wait! But can’t wait to see Bamford more, actually.
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