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squiddytentacles · 5 years

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Tree Trouble

“Sandy and Karen combine minds to help get Sandy out of serious trouble from an experiment.”

Karen/Sandy, Gen, 3,500 words

“Well, shoot,” Said Sandy as she wiped some dust off of her gloves and boots. “That was closer than a bull at a glue convention!” To really get a look at the damage she was talking about, the squirrel had to take a few large steps back.

Her beloved Tree no longer standing. A pile of splintered wood, broken belongings, and branches. She had been standing in the bathroom just moments before she heard an unfamiliar creaking. Upon investigating she found a Nematode, she put two and two together and high-tailed it out of her house. The foundations had been weakened, and chose that moment to completely give out.

Unharmed by the wreckage, her scientific equipment stands still running the tests she’d programmed it to run on some new fauna she’d come across recently. The specimen must have been housing a family of Nematodes. Too blinded by the prospect of a meal to realize they’d dry out without Ocean water, hopping out of the experiment tank, and doing their business before quietly passing away.

Sandy can’t feel too sympathetic, they destroyed her house!

KEEP READING (ao3)

A lifetime of scouting taught Sandy to always be prepared. And growing a new Tree ain’t no thing. The pests hadn’t survived long enough to entirely eat through her valuables. What wasn’t completely wrecked could be fixed. It would be time consuming, and frustrating, but she’s wrangled far worse.

She clears what she can salvage out of the wreckage, buries the Nematodes. She needs advanced hardwear to dig the roots of the deceased Tree out of the ground, but she succeeded - pushed some dirt around, planted an acorn and patted herself on the back. “Nothing can stop this country girl!” She shouts.

One of her experiments is even focused around sped up growth in plant life! With a small flair of dramatics, she pulls out her latest concoction. It glows purple, and bubbles - unleashing a putrid smell. “The Essence of Manure,” Sandy says to herself, grinning. The scent was so awful, it even drove her to put on her Sea Suit. Glass is a blessing.

“Alright, little acorn, bottoms up!” She pours the entire test tube, and takes a few rather large steps back.

Her tail twitches in anticipation.

She wants a place to sleep tonight…

The ground begins to shake and Sandy grins, steadying herself is easy. She plants her feet firmly in the grass. “Grow!!” She shouts. “GROOOOOW!!”

And so it does.

It’s a sapling, and suddenly, the base of the newly sprouted tree widens, and more branches sprout. Their first leaves fall, and just as suddenly, new blossoms appear. The taller it gets the more acorns appear - small, and misshapen. Sandy marvels at the effect, and soon the Tree is looking strong, and mighty.

Sandy sighs in accomplishment. She’d have to clear out the insides while maintaining the structure, but the part that took the longest was already done!

As it grows taller than ever before, though, Sandy questions if ‘done’ was the right word to use.

“What in Tarnation.. That’s enough!!” She shouts, hoping to reason the mutation? “Stop it, you incredible advancement in botany, you!” The leaves brush the top of the treedome, and just as Sandy was fearing. Branches start bending in line with the dome - and Sandy realizes that instead of growing up and breaking through the glass, the Tree was conforming to the space.

Which meant…. The Up that the tree was growing in was going to become Down, and Down is where she is. She sees the branches are starting to cover the door and she doesn’t waste a moment abandoning everything and sprinting to the airlock.

A glance behind her reveals how thick the bark is becoming, how sturdy it is forming as it crawls across the glass dome. A mess of brown and green leaves lay on the ground, but the soil beneath them gives out as the roots grow larger, and soon all Sandy can see is wood..

She thanks Neptune her diving suit is already on. With all her might, she pulls the branches out of the way of the doorknob before everything got entangled. They started growing back without a pause though, and she grinds her teeth. With a Texas sized roar, she heaves a large portion of the mutant tree off the door, giving herself a brief moment to escape the deathtrap her home was becoming.

Metal rings out as she slams the door shut behind her, and she runs through the other front door faster than you can say “is it wrong to play god?”.

From a safe distance, Sandy Cheeks witnesses her Tree completely encompass all the space in the treedome. It even spits out a bit through the door, slowed down, but not stopping. Sandy imagines for a moment that it grows to the size of the entire ocean and her brain scampers away from panic as she tries to think of ways to stop it.

She has tons of ideas, ways to counteract the mutation. The materials she needs however, are crushed in an impenetrable fortress of Pure Texan Bred Treebark.

“Dang nabbit.” She mutters to herself, and thinks about where she can get the items to scrap everything together when the most intelligent thought Sandy’s had all day comes to mind.

Karen has a lab.

Winded from how fast she ran, the squirrel has to take a moment to gather herself before approaching the entrance to the Chum Bucket. She knocks urgently. “You gotta let me in, it’s an emergency!!”

The door opens by itself- No, Plankton opens the door, looking irate. “Excuse me, some people are trying to SCHEME HERE.” He bellows as loud as he can, but Sandy rolls her eyes. She doesn’t have time to deal with Plankton’s showboating.

“Not now, Plankton, I gotta borrow your lab!” Sandy says, stepping over the copepod and into the restaurant.

Hopping up on Sandy’s shoulder, rather than running to keep up, Plankton knocks on the glass dome protecting Sandy’s head, “and you think I’m going to allow this... why?”

“Oh, I’m not really askin’ you.” The squirrel informs him, amused, and leads herself to the back of the Chum Bucket where the action really happens.

In fact, the very moment that Sandy steps foot into the Lab a screen that was showing a rather intense game of solitaire blinked into a pixel smile. “Oh, hey there, Sandy!” Came Karen’s electronic voice, seemingly from the entire room.

As much as Karen would proclaim that machines don’t feel anything, Sandy can’t help but always fixate on how happy Karen sounds to see her. She smiles back, just as Plankton starts grousing in her ear about how it’s HIS lab and so it’s HIS decision whether the squirrel gets to mess with HIS stuff-- and after a while where he won’t let Sandy get a word in edgewise, Karen extends an arm and plucks him off of her shoulder, and then lets that arm keep extending all the way out of the Chum Bucket.

“I’ll see you at dinner, Plankton!” She shouts out the door, and then her arm zips back to her side. There’s a shriek, and then a begrudging mumble of acceptance, and Sandy looks to where Karen has rolled near her, with her arms crossed and a question mark on her screen.

“What, your lab at home not good enough for ya all of the sudden?” She asks,

“There ain’t no you back home.” Sandy says with a weak laugh, partially to counter Karen’s dry tone, and partially in truth. Karen’s screen fizzles slightly, but Sandy misses it. “But I got a real problem growin’ back home.” She says, already running to gather the materials from Plankton and Karen’s impressive stock. “And I mean really growin’.” She fixes Karen with a wide eyed look to prove her point.

Then, she dives into a thorough explanation of what she needs to counteract the growth mutation the Acorn absorbed. Karen processed everything quickly, and even gave a few tips on things she could cut out of the formula to make the process go faster. Plankton may claim the lab is his, but it’s always been maintained by Karen, and she knows the place much better than he ever could.

With Sandy and Karen working together, they finish in two shakes of a cow’s tail. Sandy says as much, which gets a small laugh out of Karen. Sandy’s house might be destroyed, but it’s hard to feel bad after hearing a beautiful chime like that.

Together, they rush out of the Chum Bucket, over the sand hills over to the tangle of wood that was once the Treedome.

The glass had since shattered, and the Tree was growing every which way. She hopped on Karen and they rolled around the radius of the thing - to find that it was mighty close to Spongebob’s house a similar fate to hers at the beginning of this mess. Still rolling, she points to a branch extending tall enough she can climb on.

Karen, seeing the direction, speeds up, rolls in close, and then tosses Sandy up on the branch. The squirrel wasn’t expecting that much help, but she catches herself with two feet on the branch, and flashes Karen a thumbs up.

She starts climbing upward - the Tree from a distance looks more like an Urchin than anything else. Sandy wants to get as close to inside the center as she can - to find the heart of the Tree. Theoretically, pouring the new solution there would be a key to ending her mistake.

Her diving suit is holding her down, as much as having pockets is a major boon. She needs to go faster, so she shakes the suit off - it sinks into a tangle of branches and gets enveloped in the wood. The bottle is held tightly in the curl of her tail, and she uses her natural born talent as a climber to get to the very top of the mass.

The ocean is more turbulent the higher you go, and Sandy has to really hold on to not have the current carry her away. She tries pouring a bit of the serum on an outermost branch, and it withers away, but only that branch, until it reached a connecting mass and nothing happened. She’d have to make the amount she had count at the best possible place.

She has to go inside.

She hears static coming through her helmet, her rarely used communicator coming to life. “If you’re thinking about going in there, Cheeks, I would think again.” It’s Karen, voice comforting if tone abrasive. Or maybe it’s worry? “I’ve been scanning the way your Mutation grows, and 70% of it’s energy is spent compressing, and moving the older branches within.”

It’s not exactly reassuring. But Sandy is nothing if not confident. She huffs a laugh, knowing Karen will hear her.

“There is probably another way to stop it.” Karen states.

Sandy looks to where a branch spears through the innocent pineapple home. Gary could be in there. The squirrel doesn’t want to imagine what she’d do if something actually got hurt from her experiment.

“Thank you, Karen.” Sandy says genuinely, even though the computer has said nothing optimistic. The fact that she reached out was enough for Sandy in that moment.

There’s a pause before Sandy hears. “You got this, girl.” rattle around in her helmet, and she smirks. With a shout, she slinks downward into the tangle.

She chops the foliage trying to constrict her away. It’s like being attacked from all sides, being closed in on by walls on every plane of existence. Sandy’s no wet blanket, though, and she spins through the branches like a hacksaw. A similar sound even ringing throughout the ocean to drive home the effect.

The dome of her helmet is getting thoroughly scratched. She will admit to herself, damage to her personal helmet wasn’t something she accounted for. There’s no time to worry, though, and summons all her personal stamina and adrenaline to force her way through the very mistake she wrought to it’s heart.

The largest circumference she’s seen out of all the branches and possible roots so far. It creaked with every move it made, thrumming with energy and only one way to spend it. As Sandy had bellowed mere hours ago, it must Grow.. it must…….--

Sandy dumps the entire content in her container on what she hopes and prays is truly the root of the mutation. It sizzles against the wood, any splash back makes her fur tingle, but she is otherwise unharmed by the substance.

The churning and twisting of branches grinds to a halt - very literally grinding and shaving itself into pieces. The sound of creaking branches stops echoing around the scientist from every direction.

“By Neptune’s Laptop.. You did it Sandy! It’s completely stopped! Fantastic!” Karen sings through her speakers.

Pride and something mushy wells up in Sandy’s chest, and she sighs through a very wide smile. She’s always been pretty good at fixing her own messes, not just other peoples’. She allows herself to breathe without a metaphorical ball of stress blocking her lungs. What she just did was outlandishly dangerous, but she’s survived.

Now she just has to get out…

Sandy tries to move her limbs, and finds they crumble right through some of the weaker branches.

In that moment, the entire structure loses its shape - and much like her original Tree weakened by Nematodes - the mutated bundle crushes down into a disheveled pile. One which Sandy very suddenly finds herself on the bottom of.

She hears Karen’s panicked shouts echo in her helmet, and Sandy finds herself answering with a scream of her own as a particularly heavy piece of deadwood falls on her left leg and tail. The more the wood decays, the more water it absorbs. It’s agonizing, but Sandy uses her arms and free leg and is able to slowly push it off. The damage is done, and she whimpers as she curls around her limbs.

“Medic.” She whimpers, and as much as she fights it the pain overwhelms her senses and she passes out.

…

Karen immediately faxes emergency services, after Sandy’s cry for help. Her processors feel like they’re spinning a mile a minute, but Karen is able to compartmentalize it into a megabyte of data. “Sandy are you with me?” She asks, to no response, but she can hear the soft wheeze of her mammalian lungs. “I’m gonna get you out of there,” She reassures unaware ears - and rolls toward the Chum Bucket.

Then, takes a sharp turn towards the Krusty Krab. The doors slam open as she rolls exceedingly fast through them. Right to where Eugene Krabs is clutching a defeated looking Sheldon J. Plankton. She snatches her roommate, then continues on into the Kitchen.

Spongebob stops whistling, a little startled at the entrance. A small part of Karen’s programming urges her to take a Patty right off the grill. She reaches her free hand out and instead grabs the frycook himself. “Sorry, buster, I’m gonna borrow you for a minute.” She says, unapologetically.

"Okidokie!" The sponge answers happy-go-luckily.

Wasting no more time, she zooms back out the front entrance. She passes Mr. Krabs, who angrily yells, “Get back here with me Employee-r!!” He doesn’t give chase, though, and instead turns to his other employee who’s yet to do anything even during Plankton’s attack. “Mr. Squidward, after that CPU!! That’s an order!!”

“No,” Squidward responds - and that’s all Karen hears from them, because she’s out the door. She explains in curt words what’s happening to Plankton and Spongebob and rolls over more hills to the pile of soaked rotting wood that was keeping her clearly injured friend trapped.

“We have to save her!!” Spongebob cries, eyes actually tearing up from Karen’s description of the events and worry for his friend.

Plankton however, is still stinging from the embarrassment Krabs just dished him, and says mockingly, “Whatever plan you THINK is going to work, probably ain’t likely, sister.”

Karen feels her fans kick in as more heat builds up in her processors. She’s been monitoring Sandy - broadcasting everything she says as well - only to thankfully steady breathing. “Unlike you, I am asking for help, peabrain.” Karen answers flatly.

They’re close to the wreckage which hasn’t seemed to diminish in size, even as some wood floats away - taken with the current. Karen immediately scans it’s infrastructure, and it’s not looking good. She knows the heavier things will eventually gravitate down and fall through the weaker branches that hadn’t disintegrated. Karen doesn’t want to consider the chances of more things falling on Sandy, but she’s a computer and the calculations come naturally.

“How can we help..?” Spongebob clenches his fists, ignores that he’s sniffling, instead feeling fired up to help save one of his close friends who risked her life for his house.

Karen rolls to a stop and drops the men on the ground. She rolls back and forth like a drill sergeant and explains in great detail how she wants Plankton to use size to his advantage and climb through the gaps in the wood. Karen, using her scanners, will direct Plankton to Sandy.

He is to have a cord wrapped around him to pull him out if he gets stuck, but more importantly, to tug Spongebob into where he is. Karen rationalizes that Spongebob wouldn’t be able to actually maneuver himself through the wood, but with enough strength could be dragged through.

“... If you can’t manage it, big guy, you’ll have to wake up Sandy.”

There’s not even a moment given to think over the plan before the shortest of their party rolled his eye. “Ugh! No!”

Karen crosses her arms, not wanting to prolong anymore time, but unable to stop the buzz of annoyance toward her ex-husband. “You’re not going to wake her up?”

“I’m not doing any of it!” Plankton stomps his foot, then points dramatically at Karen. “You want me to risk being crushed into a Plankton Pancake for your little girlfriend, and I am not having it!!”

Spongebob picks Plankton up gently, causing the restaurant owner to yell profanities at the frycook, which get muffled as Spongebob cups Plankton inside his hands. “What are we gonna do once I’m inside??”

While she’s yet to make any expressions appear on her face throughout her description of her plan, she sounds extremely self assured, likely from her plan being statistically sound, but it’s a good feeling. Like when she hangs out with Mrs. Puff and Sandy and feels proud to be herself. “The Fire Department will arrive, and I will direct them to hose the pile - I’m 97% certain that you will absorb the water, expanding enough to jostle the cluster free.”

Plankton squeezes his head through a small gap in Spongebob’s makeshift cage. “Why not just wait for them to axe it all down?”

It’s something she has considered, and is certain that the foundation wouldn’t be able to handle such physical forces without possibly unleashing something on Sandy, buried so far in the center. Karen feels her vocalization banks far away, and as she leans her screen closer to the man who essentially gave her sentience her voice cracks. “Sheldon… Please.”

Plankton’s eyebrow furrows, struck silent by what could only be described as the emotion in Karen’s voice. He glances behind him, to the pile, considers the plan, and sheepishly looks back to his ex-wife… they somehow parted on goodterms…… He can’t keep letting his other failures get in the way of that.

“Fine.” His attempt at sounding grouchy comes off a bit emotionally shaken, but neither Karen or Spongebob say anything. The three of them get to work, quickly, but extremely functionally.

“Hang in there, Bushy-Tushy…” Karen directs to the still unconscious squirrel through her microphone. “We’ve got’cha.”

Sandy shudders into consciousness in the back of the ambulance. She doesn’t speak, or groan, just hangs in the moment. The ride isn’t particularly wild, but she’s jostled none the less. One particular sharp turns makes her very aware of the pain in her leg - and the fact that she couldn’t at all feel her tail.

She whimpers, and clenches her hands - then realizes one of her fists aren’t empty. She’s clutching onto something metal, yet warm - like a phone running too many apps. The hand is holding her back gently, but the presence feels so solid to her… She squints open an eye - stunned for a moment at the stark bright lights. She blinks, and through her scratched up diving helmet she can see Karen. She almost mistakes her for a life-support monitor, but Sandy knows better.

She smiles, and before her eye slips shut, she sees a beautiful smile appear where a horizontal line once sat across the AI’s face.

“I’ve got you, Sandy,” Karen’s voice crackles through the white noise of the ambulance.

Sandy Cheeks has lost a lot today, however - she can’t help but consider that maybe she’s gained something. “I know,” she whispers fondly - giving the metallic hand a squeeze not influenced by pain before letting the painkillers lull her back to sleep.

#Sandy Cheeks #Karen Plankton #Spongebob Squarepants #Sheldon J. Plankton #karendy #i make the rules and i say karen and plankton aren't together anymore but still live together

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e0tr · 4 years

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Hour of Slack #1811 - Neuron Spew of A Godzillion Spouters

This is a pretty word-heavy episode, with NEW, very old, rare material from The Firesign Theatre, along with some old timey ESO Swamp Radio from the year 2001 — very directly Firesign inspired. We continue with samples of the soundtrack of Sandy K. Boone's movie, JR BOB DOBBS AND THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS. Dr. G. Gordon Gordon’s extremely rare “It's Not Just The” # 2 has been unearthed, too! At the end: “Purple Haze” cover by The Psycho Skeletons. The old/new Firesign recordings come from fire

* duration: 1:01h, Played: 11:04

* Published: 2020-12-30 9:04:10 AM

* Episode Download link: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/hourofslack/Hour_of_Slack_1811.mp3?dest-id=14628

* Show Notes: https://hourofslack.libsyn.com/hour-of-slack-1811-neuron-spew-of-a-godzillion-spouters

* Episode feed: The SubGenius Hour of Slack Podcast - https://hourofslack.libsyn.com/rss

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vagabondretired · 7 years

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In 1980, two smart, goofy nerds in Dallas decided to start their own religion. Their names were Doug and Steve, but in the grand tradition of charlatans everywhere, they invented new names for themselves as apostles of the deity of their made-up belief system: Reverend Ivan Stang (born Douglass St. Clair Smith) and Dr. Philo Drummond (Steve Wilcox), ready to educate the masses through the Church of the SubGenius about the great J.R. “Bob” Dobbs and to spread his gospel of “Slack.” Somehow, against all odds, the Church of the SubGenius became a real thing, if not exactly a real religion. It spread well beyond Dallas, capturing the imaginations of a number of important counterculture figures of the era. Devo frontman Mark Mothersbaugh, actor Paul Reubens (known for his role as Pee-wee Herman), Talking Heads frontman David Byrne, cartoonist R. Crumb, gonzo bluesman Mojo Nixon, and more all claimed a SubGenius affiliation. All of them sought Slack, an unspecified philosophical state that the church maintained as its answer to enlightenment. To be clear, all of this was something between a con job and an inside joke. But the people involved took perpetuating that joke seriously. The Church of the SubGenius published five books. One of them, The Book of the SubGenius, has remained in print for decades. People who wanted to play along with the gag launched radio shows in the 1980s (including The Puzzling Evidence Show in Berkeley, California, which has run for more than thirty years) and their own websites in the ’90s. But as a group that was defined by its arch sense of humor and its nesting-doll-style approach to playing with layers of facts, the true story of the people who defined the SubGenius was never told. Until now, anyway. Filmmaker Sandy K. Boone—whose late husband, David Boone, was one of the first people to sign up for the SubGenius’s mailing list—announced in October a Kickstarter campaign to fund Slacking Toward Bethelhem, a documentary that would tell the true and unabridged story of the Church of the SubGenius for the first time. Boone, who collaborated with Austin Chronicle and SXSW founder Louis Black on the documentaries Jonathan Demme Presents: Made In Texas, Richard Linklater: Dream is Destiny, and Tower in recent years, along with St. Clair Smith, spoke with Texas Monthly without any of the in-character gags (well, almost) to discuss what the SubGenius means in the age of Trump, why the SubGenius mustn’t turn into Scientology, and what it feels like to stop keeping a straight face on your inside joke after nearly forty years.

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responsivesites · 5 years

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New Post has been published on Website Design Naples Florida Webmaster

New Post has been published on https://vinbo.com/wordpress-5-3-kirk/

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Patil, swapnild, Sybre Waaijer, Sérgio Estêvão, Takayuki Miyauchi, Takis, Tammie Lister, tazotodua, technote, Tellyworth, Tessa Kriesel, them.es, Themezly, Thijs Hulshof, Thomas Kräftner, thomaswm, Thord D. Hedengren, Thorsten Frommen, Thrijith Thankachan, tigertech, Tim Carr, Tim Havinga, Tim Hengeveld, Timothy Jacobs, timph, tmatsuur, tmdesigned, TobiasBg, tobifjellner (Tor-Bjorn Fjellner), toddhalfpenny, Todor Gaidarov, Tom J Nowell, Tommy Ferry, Toni Viemerö, tonybogdanov, torres126, Torsten Landsiedel, Towhidul Islam, trasweb, Travis Northcutt, travisseitler, triplejumper12, truchot, truongwp, Tugdual de Kerviler, Tung Du, Udit Desai, Ulrich, Utsav tilava, Vaishali Panchal, vbaimas, Venutius, Viktor Veljanovski, Vishal Kakadiya, vishitshah, vladlu, Vladut Ilie, vortfu, Vova Feldman, vrimill, w3rkjana, webcommsat AbhaNonStopNewsUK, Webdados (Marco Almeida), WebMan Design | Oliver Juhas, Weston Ruter, William Earnhardt, William P. Davis, William Patton, withinboredom, worldweb, yanngarcia, Yannicki, yarnboy, yashar_hv, Yoav Farhi, yodiyo, Yui, Yvette Sonneveld, zaantar, zalak151291, Zebulan Stanphill, Česlav Przywara, АЙРАТ ХАЛИТОВ

, and 水野史土.

Many thanks to all of the community volunteers who contribute in the support forums. They answer questions from people across the world, whether they are using WordPress for the first time or since the first release. These releases are more successful for their efforts!

Finally, thanks to all the community translators who worked on WordPress 5.3. Their efforts bring WordPress fully translated to 47 languages at release time, with more on the way.

If you want learn more about volunteering with WordPress, check out Make WordPress or the core development blog.

Thanks for choosing WordPress!

Original source: https://wordpress.org/news/2019/11/kirk/

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the-record-obituaries · 5 years

Text

July 31, 2019: Obituaries

Harold Royal, 62

Harold Ray Royal, age 62, passed away Monday, July 29, 2019 at his home. Mr. Royal was born December 17, 1956 in Wilkes County to Earlie Burl and Edith Royal. He was preceded in death by his parents, one brother; Bud Royal and one granddaughter; Gabrielle Royal. He loved fishing and boating. He also enjoyed gospel, the oldies and country music.

Funeral services will be held 12:00 P.M., Wednesday, July 31, 2019 at Miller Funeral Service Chapel with Rev. Jimmy Gilreath officiating. Burial will follow in the Burke Cemetery. The family will receive friends 11:00 to 12:00 Wednesday prior to the service at Miller Funeral Service. Flowers will be accepted.

Mr. Royal is survived by his wife, Mona Royal. Two daughters; Angela Anderson of Moravian Falls and Kristie Royal of North Wilkesboro. Step-son: Justin Holbrook and fiancé Constance Adams of North Wilkesboro. Three grandsons; E.J. Anderson, Preston Holbrook, and Hayden Groncki. Five granddaughters; Khloe Royal, Olivia Anderson, Kaitlyn Royal, Mya Anderson, and Isabella Anderson. One Great-granddaughter; Arizona Royal-Hodel. One brother; Tim Royal and wife, Betty Royal of Hays. Three sisters; Judy Rhodes and husband, James of Hays, Mary Royal and Fiancée, Butch Jarvis of Millers Creek, Patty Royal of Cricket.

Miller Funeral Service is in charge of the arrangements.

Fred Absher, 82

Mr. Fred Harold Absher, age 82 of McGrady, passed away Thursday, July 25, 2019 at Carolina Medical Center in Charlotte.

Graveside services were July 29, 2019 at Mountlawn Memorial Park with Dr. Bert Young officiating.

Mr. Absher was born July 17, 1937 in Wilkes County to Fred William Absher and Lotus Williams Absher. He served in the United States Army during the Korean Conflict. Mr. Absher was retired from Tyson Foods where he worked as Operations Manager and MIS Controller of the East Coast. He was a farmer, a family man and a member of Baptist Home Baptist Church. He enjoyed spending time with his family and animals.

He was preceded in death by his parents.

Mr. Absher is survived by his wife; Joyce Reynolds Absher of the

home, two daughters; Adena Absher Greene and husband Michael of McGrady and Christy Absher Johnson and husband Brandon of McGrady and a brother; Troy Lee Absher and wife Rebecca of North Wilkesboro.

Flowers will be accepted or memorials may be made to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network 1500 Rosecrans Ave. Suite 200 Manhattan Beach, CA 90266.

Judy Speaks, 74

Mrs. Judy Gilmore Speaks, age 74, of Traphill passed away Wednesday, July 24, 2019 at Joan and Howad Woltz Hospice Home after a courageous 11 month battle with glioblastoma. She was born September 10, 1944 in Surry County to Raymond Ray and Lucille Sprinkle Gilmore.

Mrs. Speaks was a member of Knobbs Baptist Church, graduate of Elkin High School class of 1962; and a member of Farm Service Agency for 12 years. Judy worked as a sales clerk for Belk of Elkin where her love of people helped forge many lifelong friendships over her 50 plus year career. She worked hard beside her husband on the farm and enjoyed cooking for her family. Nana, as she was called by her grandchildren, enjoyed many precious moments as she instilled the value and importance of God and family. Her kind generous spirit and love of everyone was a constant witness of her Christian Faith.

In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her brother, James Trent Gilmore; sisters, Joy Gale Gilmore; and brother-in-law, James Robert Windsor.

Survivors include: her loving husband of 57 years, Lee Von "Toby" Speaks of the home; son, Toby Lee Speaks and wife Teresa of Traphill; daughters, Sandy Speaks Welborn and husband Eric of Traphill, Carla Renee Speaks of Tennessee; sister, Kathy Gilmore Windsor; sister-in-law, Shelby Couch Gilmore of Elkin; granddaughters, Anslee Taylor Prevette, Sophia Speaks Welborn; grandsons, Adam Lee Speaks and wife Katelin, Brandon Speaks Welborn and wife Hannah; John Dallas Welborn; and several special nieces and nephews.

A graveside service was conducted July 27, at Knobbs Baptist Church Cemetery with Kent Wood, Linwood Campbell, and Justin Norman officiating.

Flowers will be accepted or memorials may be made to Knobbs Baptist Church, c/o Kathy Wood 3059 King Billings Rd, Traphill, NC 28685 or Mountain Valley Hospice, 945 Zephyr Rd, Dobson, NC 27017.

Funeral services entrusted to Elkin Funeral Service.

Richard Knight, 76

Richard Harold Knight, age 76, of North Wilkesboro, passed away Tuesday, July 23, 2019 at Forsyth Memorial Hospital in Winston-Salem. Mr. Knight was born November 29, 1942 in Wilkes County to William Lester and Mae Adams Knight. Mr. Knight was a member of Hilltop Baptist Church where he served as Deacon and Choir Leader. He was also very active with Relay For Life. He was preceded in death by his parents.

Funeral services were July 26, at Hilltop Baptist Church with Rev. Ronnie Gregory and Rev. Rodney Blake officiating. A private burial followed. Mr. Knight is survived by his wife of fifty seven years, Sharon Royall Knight. Two daughters; Shannon Knight and Summer Knight. Three brothers; Johnnie Knight, Marvin Knight, and James Knight. Four sisters; Sarah Brown, Jean Wyatt, Betty Ann Walker, and Linda Kay Royal. One granddaughter, Olivia Knight.

Flowers will be accepted or memorials may be made to American Cancer Society, c/o Annette Battle, Relay for Life, P.O. Box 9, North Wilkesboro, NC 28659.

Miller Funeral Service is in charge of the arrangements.

Danny Walker, 71

Danny Vernon Walker, age 71, of North Wilkesboro, departed this life Tuesday, July 23, 2019 at Forsyth Medical Center in Winston-Salem. Mr. Walker was born March 17, 1948 in Wilkes County to Sebon and Flossie Bowers Walker. Mr. Walker was an avid HAM Radio Operator, lifetime member of the American Radio League, and loved learning about new technology. Danny was an amazingly positive person, always had a joke to tell, had a kind heart, and always had a smile on his face. Mr. Walker was preceded in death by his parents, first wife; Joy Waddell Walker.

Mr. Walker is survived by; his loving wife, Nancy Stephens Walker. Two daughters; Cindy Herndon and husband, Bryan, of Winston-Salem, Patricia St. John and husband, Dean, of Elkin. Two grandsons; Justin Perry and wife, Rebecca, of Roaring River, Cameron Perry and Abbie, of Gastonia. A very special great-grandson; Christopher Perry. Step great-granddaughters; Madelynn Haynes and Andrea Haynes.

A Private Graveside Service will be held. Memorials may be made to Samaritan's Purse, P.O. Box 3000, Boone, NC 28607.

Miller Funeral Service is in charge of the arrangements.

Paula Sebastian, 61

Paula Darlene Sebastian, age 61, passed away Sunday, July 21, 2019 at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center in Winston-Salem. Mrs. Sebastian was born May 20, 1958 in Wilkes County to Paul Lester and Betty Porter Wyatt. She was preceded in death by her father. Mrs. Sebastian loved photography and the outdoors. She was a member of Hillcrest Baptist Church.

Mrs. Sebastian is survived by her husband; Edward "Eddie" Sebastian. Mother; Betty Porter Wyatt Cleary. One daughter; Keyla K. Anderson and husband, Michael. Two sisters; Tamara Wyatt, Nikole McGuire and husband, Chris. One brother; David Wyatt and wife, Sandy. One grandson; Mason Dancy. One granddaughter; Milena Dancy. Also surviving are several nieces and nephews.

Funeral Services were July 25, at Hillcrest Baptist Church in Wilkesboro. Pastor James Wingler and Pastor Danny Dillard officiating. Burial followed at Mountlawn Memorial Park.

Flowers will be accepted or memorial may be made to: American Stroke Association, 7272 Greenville Ave., Dallas, TX 75231.

Miller Funeral Service is in charge of the arrangements.

Robert Wiles, 81

Mr. Robert Wiles, age 81 of North Wilkesboro passed away Sunday, July 21, 2019 at Wake Forest Baptist-Wilkes Medical Center.

Funeral services were July 24, at Reins-Sturdivant Chapel with Rev. Ken Pardue officiating. Burial was in the Anticoh Baptist Church Cemetery in Alleghany. Mr. Wiles was born January 24, 1938 in Alleghany County to Luther William and Vela Marie Wagoner Wiles. He attended Antioch Baptist Church.

In addition to his parents, he was preceded in death by a daughter; Edna May Wiles.

He is survived by his wife; Nancy Royal Wiles of the home, two sons; Tony Ray and Ronnie Lee Wiles both of North Wilkesboro, and one brother; Albert Wiles and wife Reba of North Wilkesboro.

Flowers will be accepted or memorials may be made to the Parkinson Foundation, 710 West 168th Street, New York, NY 10032 or the American Kidney Foundation, 11921 Rockville Pike #300, Rockville, MD 20852.

Thomas Eller, 70

Mr. Thomas "Harold" Eller, 70, of North Wilkesboro, passed away on Tuesday July 23, 2019 at his residence.

Harold was born on Friday, October 22, 1948 in Ashe County to Charles Eller and Mary Elizabeth Rorark Eller.

Harold is preceded in death by his parents; brothers, Donald and Carl Eller.

Harold is survived by his wife of 43 years, Audrey Eller; sons, Thomas Eller of North Wilkesboro, Abraham Eller of Hays; sister, Geraldine Witherspoon of Jefferson; three grandchildren, Joshua Eller of Statesville, Brennan and Bradley Eller of Moravian Falls and stepson, Steven Massingill of Colorado.

The family will conduct a memorial service at 11 a.m on July 30, 2019 at Pleasant Home Baptist Church; Military Honors will be conducted by the Veterans of Foreign Wars Honor Guard Post 1142

In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be given to Pleasant Home Baptist Church, 735 Pleasant Home Church Rd, Millers Creek, NC 28651.

Adams Funeral Home of Wilkes has the honor of serving the Eller Family.

Lillian Hardy, 99

Lillian C. Hardy, age 99, of North Wilkesboro, passed away Friday, July 19, 2019 at Wilkes Senior Village. She was born February 23, 1920.

Surviving are; several nieces, nephews, and cousins.

A memorial service was held July 26, 2019 at Miller Funeral Chapel.

Miller Funeral Service is in charge of the arrangements.

Martha Lyon, 85

Mrs. Martha Ellen Cheek Lyon, age 85, of Thurmond passed away Sunday, July 14, 2019 at her home surrounded by family. Mrs. Lyon was born March 9, 1934 in Wilkes County to John David and Bessie Rosanna Thompson Cheek.

Mrs. Lyon was a devoted member of State Road Primitive Baptist Church. She was a devoted mother and grandmother and was lovingly called Grandma by everyone. Mrs. Lyon loved flowers, animals, nature, and taking pictures.

In addition to her parents, she was preceded in death by her husband, Chester Lyon; sons, Raymond Lyon, Benjamin Lyon, Richard Lyon; and brother, Cecil Cheek.

Survivors include: sons, Steven Allen Lyon and wife Susan of Thurmond, Clyde Chester Lyon, Jr. and wife Pam of Traphill, John Toliver Lyon and wife Terry of Blowing Rock, Tracy Matthew Lyon and wife Emily of Thurmond; daughter, Evelyn Campbell Luffman and husband Dale of State Road; sisters, Texie Mae Steele and husband David of Elkin, Wanda Gail Settle of Elkin, Rose Ann Reeve and husband Lynn of Statesville; 19 grandchildren; 31 great grandchildren; and 2 great-great grandchildren.

A funeral service was conducted July 17, at State Road Primitive Baptist Church with Elder John Ervin Lyon and Rev. Richard Hackler officiating. Burial followed in the church cemetery.

The family would like to thank the staff of Mountain Valley Hospice especially Ramona, Sally, and Jessica for their loving care.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to State Road Primitive Baptist Church Cemetery Fund in c/o Sammy Cheek, 2929 South Center Church Road, Thurmond, NC 28683

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billybennight · 5 years

Photo

Here's my review of the “J. R. "Bob" Dobbs Church of the SubGenius” documentary film by Sandy K. Boone covering the history of the parody religion (the conspiracy of the Normals) by founders Doug Smith (a.k.a. Reverend Ivan Stang) and Steve Wilcox (a.k.a. Dr. Phyllo Drummond) at the ZACH Theatre in Austin at SXSW. “Once you try Slack you'll never go back!” . . . The Bob Dobbs Church of the SubGenius link: http://www.extravagantbehavior.com/2019/05/16/j-r-bob-dobbs-church-of-the-subgenius/ . . . . . . . . #sxsw @sxsw #indiefilm #indiefilmmaker #documentaryfilm #bob #churchofthesubgenius #bobdobbs #reverendivanstang #drphyllodrummond #pinks #pleasuresaucers #slack #slackers #sandykboone @sandykboone @jr.bob.dobbs @agentinplace #churchofthesubgenius #bobdobbs #jrbobdobbs #moviereview #celebrityphotographer #celebrityphotography #photography #photographer #losangelesphotographer #losangelesphotography #photographerslife (at ZACH Theatre) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bxi1g79A-wS/?igshid=r8yd9p87dsvt

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blackdogarts · 7 years

Link

#sandy k. boone

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sesiondemadrugada · 3 years

Photo

Slacking Towards Bethlehem: J.R. 'Bob' Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius (Sandy K. Boone, 2019).

#j.r. 'bob' dobbs and the church of the subgenius #sandy k. boone #jason wehling #fady hadid #david layton #lauren sanders #rebecca eskreis #j.r. 'bob' dobbs #church of the subgenius #slacking towards bethlehem

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soulbounce · 5 years

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【衝撃】ユニバーサル火災でマスターテープが焼失したアーティスト一覧

他の国にマスターのコピーがあることを祈ります。 38 Special 50 Cent Colonel Abrams Johnny Ace Bryan Adams Nat Adderley Aerosmith Rhett Akins Manny Albam Lorez Alexandria Gary Allan Red Allen Steve Allen The Ames Brothers Gene Ammons Bill Anderson Jimmy Anderson John Anderson The Andrews Sisters Lee Andrews & the Hearts Paul Anka Adam Ant Toni Arden Joan Armatrading Louis Armstrong Asia Asleep at the Wheel Audioslave Patti Austin Average White Band Hoyt Axton Albert Ayler Burt Bacharach Joan Baez Razzy Bailey Chet Baker Florence Ballard Hank Ballard Gato Barbieri Baja Marimba Band Len Barry Count Basie Fontella Bass The Beat Farmers Sidney Bechet and His Orchestra Beck Captain Beefheart Archie Bell & the Drells Vincent Bell Bell Biv Devoe Louie Bellson Don Bennett Joe Bennett and the Sparkletones David Benoit George Benson Berlin Elmer Bernstein and His Orchestra Chuck Berry Nuno Bettencourt Stephen Bishop Blackstreet Art Blakey Hal Blaine Bobby (Blue) Bland Mary J. Blige Blink 182 Blues Traveler Eddie Bo Pat Boone Boston Connee Boswell Eddie Boyd Jan Bradley Owen Bradley Quintet Oscar Brand Bob Braun Walter Brennan Jackie Brenston and His Delta Cats Teresa Brewer Edie Brickell & New Bohemians John Brim Lonnie Brooks Big Bill Broonzy and Washboard Sam Brothers Johnson Bobby Brown Clarence “Gatemouth” Brown Lawrence Brown Les Brown Marion Brown Marshall Brown Mel Brown Michael Brown Dave Brubeck Jimmy Buffett Carol Burnett T-Bone Burnett Dorsey Burnette Johnny Burnette Busta Rhymes Terry Callier Cab Calloway The Call Glen Campbell Captain and Tennille Captain Sensible Irene Cara Belinda Carlisle Carl Carlton Eric Carmen Hoagy Carmichael Kim Carnes Karen Carpenter Richard Carpenter The Carpenters Barbara Carr Betty Carter Benny Carter The Carter Family Peter Case Alvin Cash Mama Cass Bobby Charles Ray Charles Chubby Checker The Checkmates Ltd. Cheech & Chong Cher Don Cherry Mark Chesnutt The Chi-Lites Eric Clapton Petula Clark Roy Clark Gene Clark The Clark Sisters Merry Clayton Jimmy Cliff Patsy Cline Rosemary Clooney Wayne Cochran Joe Cocker Ornette Coleman Gloria Coleman Mitty Collier Jazzbo Collins Judy Collins Colosseum Alice Coltrane John Coltrane Colours Common Cookie and the Cupcakes Barbara Cook Rita Coolidge Stewart Copeland The Corsairs Dave “Baby” Cortez Bill Cosby Don Costa Clifford Coulter David Crosby Crosby & Nash Johnny Cougar (aka John Cougar Mellencamp) Counting Crows Coverdale?Page Warren Covington Deborah Cox James “Sugar Boy” Crawford Crazy Otto Marshall Crenshaw The Crew-Cuts Sonny Criss David Crosby Bob Crosby Bing Crosby Sheryl Crow Rodney Crowell The Crusaders Xavier Cugat The Cuff Links Tim Curry The Damned Danny & the Juniors Rodney Dangerfield Bobby Darin Helen Darling David + David Mac Davis Richard Davis Sammy Davis Jr. Chris de Burgh Lenny Dee Jack DeJohnette The Dells The Dell-Vikings Sandy Denny Sugar Pie DeSanto The Desert Rose Band Dennis DeYoung Neil Diamond Bo Diddley Difford & Tilbrook Dillard & Clark The Dixie Hummingbirds Willie Dixon DJ Shadow Fats Domino Jimmy Donley Kenny Dorham Jimmy Dorsey and His Orchestra Lee Dorsey The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra Lamont Dozier The Dramatics The Dream Syndicate Roy Drusky Jimmy Durante Deanna Durbin The Eagles Steve Earle El Chicano Danny Elfman Yvonne Elliman Duke Ellington Cass Elliott Joe Ely John Entwistle Eminem Eric B. and Rakim Gil Evans Paul Evans Betty Everett Don Everly Extreme The Falcons Harold Faltermeyer Donna Fargo Art Farmer Freddie Fender Ferrante & Teicher Fever Tree The Fifth Dimension Ella Fitzgerald Five Blind Boys Of Alabama The Fixx The Flamingos King Floyd The Flying Burrito Brothers John Fogerty Red Foley Eddie Fontaine The Four Aces The Four Tops Peter Frampton Franke & the Knockouts Aretha Franklin The Rev. C.L. 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Sloan Smash Mouth Kate Smith Keely Smith Tab Smith Patti Smyth Snoop Dogg Valaida Snow Jill Sobule Soft Machine Sonic Youth Sonny and Cher The Soul Stirrers Soundgarden Eddie South Southern Culture on the Skids Spinal Tap Banana Splits The Spokesmen Squeeze Jo Stafford Chris Stamey Joe Stampley Michael Stanley Kay Starr Stealers Wheel Steely Dan Gwen Stefani Steppenwolf Cat Stevens Billy Stewart Sting Sonny Stitt Shane Stockton George Strait The Strawberry Alarm Clock Strawbs Styx Sublime Yma Sumac Andy Summers The Sundowners Supertramp The Surfaris Sylvia Syms Gabor Szabo The Tams Grady Tate t.A.T.u. Koko Taylor Billy Taylor Charlie Teagarden Temple of the Dog Clark Terry Tesla Sister Rosetta Tharpe Robin Thicke Toots Thielemans B.J. 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additivebloodcurse · 6 years

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In October 2017, we wrote about how director Sandy K. Boone and producer Louis Black were raising funds through Kickstarter in order to create Slacking Towards Bethlehem, a fascinating documentary about the legendary parody religion, The Church of the SubGenius.

#IFTTT #Pocket

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thegloober · 6 years

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Yankees 6, Red Sox 2: Sanchez homers twice in ALDS Game 2

2018 ALDS Game Two: Yankees at Red Sox

The ALDS is now a best-of-three series with the next two games at Yankee Stadium. I can’t shake the feeling that the Yankees should be taking a 2-0 series back to New York, but there’s nothing anyone can do about that now. Splitting the first two games at Fenway Park is a-okay with me. The Yankees picked up a 6-2 win in ALDS Game Two on Saturday.

I love this so much. (Presswire)

The Price is Right For the Yankees, that is. Including ALDS Game Two, David Price has made five starts against the Yankees this season, and in those five starts he allowed 23 runs and eleven home runs in 17.1 innings. That includes a six-inning, two-run start back in August! Goodness. Price didn’t make it out of the second inning Saturday. It’s a damn shame Alex Cora is a smart manager with a quick hook.

The Yankees got on the board quickly thanks to Aaron Judge’s third home run in three postseason games. He hit a two-run home run against Liam Hendriks in the Wild Card Game and a solo home run against Craig Kimbrel in ALDS Game One. In Game Two, it was another solo shot, clear over the Green Monster to center-ish field. Look at that photo above. It is perfect. It is David Price’s entire career against the Yankees in one photo.

The Judge home run gave the Yankees a 1-0 lead. In the second, it was Gary Sanchez’s turn to take Price deep, which he did for a solo home run. Sanchez vs. Price in his career: 7-for-14 (.500) with six home runs. Good gravy. Then, with two outs in the second, Price walked Gleyber Torres and Brett Gardner, and gave up a loud Fenway Park single to Andrew McCutchen. This is a single in one (1) ballpark:

Statcast had the exit velocity at 100.8 mph and the projected distance at 355 feet. That’s a home run in pretty much every other ballpark in the big leagues. Instead, it was a one-run single. Blah. Price got the hook after that. Judge smoked a line drive right at Mookie Betts for the third out of the inning with runners on the corners. Statcast had the hit probability at 82% based on the exit velocity and launch angle. Betts barely had to move. Lame.

Price’s line: 1.2 IP, 3 H, 3 R, 3 ER, 2 BB, 0 K, 2 HR on 42 pitches. Between the regular season and the postseason, this was the 299th start of Price’s undeniably excellent career. It was his first career start with zero strikeouts. Crazy. Also, Price is up to a 5.28 ERA in 75 career postseason innings. And just when I thought this night couldn’t get any better, I saw that Price told Pete Abraham he’ll be available for Game Three on Monday. Sweet!

Masterful Masahiro Okay, masterful is probably pushing it, but Masahiro Tanaka was very good Saturday night. He gave up the #obligatoryhomer to Xander Bogaerts on an ambushed first pitch fastball in the fourth inning, but it was only a solo shot, so not a huge deal. Tanaka retired ten of the first dozen batters he faced before the home run, allowing only a pair of ground ball singles. He then retired five of the six batters he faced after the home run.

In his final two regular season starts Tanaka allowed nine runs in eight innings, largely because his trademark splitter wasn’t cooperating. It seemed to be moving side-to-side more than diving down below the zone. A few days ago Tanaka said he figured it out during a bullpen session — “I had that time to make the necessary adjustments,” he told Dan Martin — and the split was mostly down Saturday. His misses were wide rather than out over the plate. To wit:

Tanaka is the most extreme anti-fastball pitcher in baseball. It’s no secret. He threw only 30.9% fastballs during the regular season. The next lowest was Lance McCullers Jr. at 37.2%. Ross Stripling was the only other guy under 40%. He threw 39.6% fastballs. Yeah, Tanaka’s an anti-fastball guy. On Saturday night, he threw 18 fastballs (!) among his 78 pitches, or 23.1%. Geez. It makes sense though. Use the hell out of that splitter and slider.

Tanaka’s final line: 5 IP, 3 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 1 BB, 4 K, 1 HR on 78 pitches. There was clearly enough gas left in the tank for another inning, maybe two, but Aaron Boone played it smart and got Tanaka out of there rather than let him face the middle of the order a third time. Tanaka’s numbers each time through the order this season:

First Time: .232/.273/.386 (87 OPS+)

Second Time: .217/.276/.376 (78 OPS+)

Third Time: .292/.345/.569 (130 OPS+)

Yup. Two-run lead in a postseason game at Fenway Park with that bullpen behind him? Get Tanaka out of there. Boone did let him face Betts a third time with two outs and the bases empty in the fifth, and he hit a 105 mph line drive to Gardner in center field. Ominous. Good work by Tanaka and good job by Boone getting him out of there when he did.

Back In The Box In Game One, the Yankees were all over the Red Sox bullpen. Five relievers faced 19 batters and eight reached base. The Yankees had plenty of opportunities but didn’t get that one big hit. Game Two was kinda the opposite. After Price was out of the game, Joe Kelly settled things down with 2.1 scoreless innings. Pretty annoying. Felt like a “they’re going to regret not adding runs” game.

After Kelly, in came 31-year-old rookie Ryan Brasier, and that clown told Sanchez to get back in the box. Brasier and Sandy Leon were taking their time going through the signs — they were doing that all inning — and Sanchez stepped out a few times, and Brasier told him to get in the box. What the hell is that? Brasier struck Sanchez out and shot him a look as he walked back to the dugout. Clown show. Want Gary Sanchez in the box? Gary Sanchez is in the box mofos:

479 feet. Longest homer by any hitter at Fenway Park since Statcast became a thing in 2015. Second homer of the game for Sanchez and his tenth homer in 20 career games at Fenway Park. Some Quad-A journeyman with like two months in the big leagues is telling a former All-Star and Rookie of the Year runner-up who already went deep earlier in the game to get back in the box? As a wise man once said, “that’s for you, bitch.”

Sanchez’s three-run home run against Eduardo Rodriguez stretched the lead to 6-1 and gave the Yankees some much-needed breathing room. They left seven men on base from innings two through six and gosh did it feel like the Yankees were going to regret that. Sanchez wiped that all away. He is 6-for-23 (.261) with four home runs in his last seven games. The at-bats are getting better and the contact is getting louder. I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin’.

The Bullpen With the Yankees still nursing a 3-1 lead, Boone went to Dellin Betances in the sixth inning, and he cut through the 2-3-4 hitters on nine pitches. No strikeouts, but three ground balls. Those work just as well. Betances went out for a second inning after the Sanchez homer and did allow the run in the seventh on a Mitch Moreland single and an Ian Kinsler double. McCutchen’s inexperience playing left field in Fenway Park played a role there. The ball bounced off the wall and over his head.

Dellin limited the damage to one run in the seventh and Zach Britton got through eighth without an issue. Aroldis Chapman, who has had a lot of trouble against the Red Sox the last few years, walked the first hitter in the ninth. Argh. Fortunately a strikeout and a game-ending double play ball followed. Hooray. Literally the first ground ball double play Chapman has generated all year. Good timing, eh? One run in 15 innings for the bullpen through three postseason games. That’ll work, gentlemen.

(Presswire)

Leftovers Sanchez was obviously the star of the show at the plate. He went 2-for-5 with the two home runs and is the third Yankees with a two-homer game against the Red Sox in the postseason. Jason Giambi did it in 2003 ALCS Game Seven and Hideki Matsui did it in 2004 ALCS Game Three. Folks, this is why you start Sanchez in the postseason. He can change a game with one swing and he did it twice Saturday. Also, zero passed balls or wild pitches through three postseason games. Go Gary.

So, you think Judge’s wrist is feeling strong? He went 2-for-4 with a homer, an infield single, and a walk. Statcast didn’t pick up the infield single, but the exit velocities on his other three balls in play: 113.3 mph, 109.8 mph, 109.3 mph. A partial list of players who did not have three 109 mph batted balls all regular season: Anthony Rendon, Freddie Freeman, Jose Ramirez, and Matt Carpenter. Judge had three in five innings Saturday. Swoon.

Beyond Judge and Sanchez, the Yankees also got hits from McCutchen, Giancarlo Stanton, Miguel Andujar, and Torres. Gardner went 0-for-2 with two walks as the fill-in center fielder. Gardi B saw 28 pitches in his four at-bats and helped set up McCutchen’s run-scoring with a left-on-left walk against Price. He also ran down everything in center. Go Brett.

Box Score, WPA Graph & Standings Go to ESPN for the box score and MLB for the video highlights. Here’s our Bullpen Workload page and here’s the win probability graph:

Source: FanGraphs

Up Next Game Three back in the Bronx. The Yankees and Red Sox have a travel day Sunday before reconvening at Yankee Stadium for Game Three on Monday night. Luis Severino will be on the mound for the Yankees. It’ll be either Rick Porcello or Nathan Eovaldi for the Red Sox. Porcello’s relief appearance in Game One changed Boston’s pitching plans a bit. Game Three is a 7:40pm ET start.

2018 ALDS Game Two: Yankees at Red Sox

Source: https://bloghyped.com/yankees-6-red-sox-2-sanchez-homers-twice-in-alds-game-2/

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responsivesites · 4 years

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New Post has been published on Website Design Naples Florida Webmaster

New Post has been published on https://vinbo.com/wordpress-5-5-eckstine/

WordPress 5.5 “Eckstine”

Here it is! Named “Eckstine” in honor of Billy Eckstine, this latest and greatest version of WordPress is available for download or update in your dashboard.

Welcome to WordPress 5.5.

In WordPress 5.5, your site gets new power in three major areas: speed, search, and security.

Speed

Posts and pages feel faster, thanks to lazy-loaded images.

Images give your story a lot of impact, but they can sometimes make your site seem slow.

In WordPress 5.5, images wait to load until they’re just about to scroll into view. The technical term is ‘lazy loading.’

On mobile, lazy loading can also keep browsers from loading files meant for other devices. That can save your readers money on data — and help preserve battery life.

Say hello to your new sitemap.

WordPress sites work well with search engines.

Now, by default, WordPress 5.5 includes an XML sitemap that helps search engines discover your most important pages from the very minute you go live.

So more people will find your site sooner, giving you more time to engage, retain and convert them to subscribers, customers or whatever fits your definition of success.

Security

Now you can choose to update plugins and themes automatically–or pick just a few–from the screens you’ve always used.

Auto-updates for Plugins and Themes

Now you can set plugins and themes to update automatically — or not! — in the WordPress admin. So you always know your site is running the latest code available.

You can also turn auto-updates on or off for each plugin or theme you have installed — all on the same screens you’ve always used.

Update by uploading ZIP files

If updating plugins and themes manually is your thing, now that’s easier too — just upload a ZIP file.

Highlights from the block editor

Once again, the latest WordPress release packs a long list of exciting new features for the block editor. For example:

Block patterns

New block patterns make it simple and fun to create complex, beautiful layouts, using combinations of text and media that you can mix and match to fit your story.

You will also find block patterns in a wide variety of plugins and themes, with more added all the time. Pick any of them from a single place — just click and go!

The new block directory

Now it’s easier than ever to find the block you need. The new block directory is built right into the block editor, so you can install new block types to your site without ever leaving the editor.

Inline image editing

Crop, rotate, and zoom your photos right from the image block. If you spend a lot of time on images, this could save you hours!

And so much more.

The highlights above are a tiny fraction of the new block editor features you’ve just installed. Open the block editor and enjoy!

Accessibility

Every release adds improvements to the accessible publishing experience, and that remains true for WordPress 5.5.

Now you can copy links in media screens and modal dialogs with a button, instead of trying to highlight a line of text.

You can also move meta boxes with the keyboard, and edit images in WordPress with your assistive device, as it can read you the instructions in the image editor.

For developers

5.5 also brings a big box of changes just for developers.

Server-side registered blocks in the REST API

The addition of block types endpoints means that JavaScript apps (like the block editor) can retrieve definitions for any blocks registered on the server.

Defining environments

WordPress now has a standardized way to define a site’s environment type (staging, production, etc). Retrieve that type with wp_get_environment_type() and execute only the appropriate code.

Dashicons

The Dashicons library has received its final update in 5.5. It adds 39 block editor icons along with 26 others.

Passing data to template files

The template loading functions (get_header(), get_template_part(), etc.) have a new $args argument. So now you can pass an entire array’s worth of data to those templates.

More changes for developers

The PHPMailer library just got a major update, going from version 5.2.27 to 6.1.6.

Now get more fine-grained control of redirect_guess_404_permalink().

Sites that use PHP’s OPcache will see more reliable cache invalidation, thanks to the new wp_opcache_invalidate() function during updates (including to plugins and themes).

Custom post types associated with the category taxonomy can now opt-in to supporting the default term.

Default terms can now be specified for custom taxonomies in register_taxonomy().

The REST API now officially supports specifying default metadata values through register_meta().

You will find updated versions of these bundled libraries: SimplePie, Twemoji, Masonry, imagesLoaded, getID3, Moment.js, and clipboard.js.

The Squad

Leading this release were Matt Mullenweg, Jake Spurlock, and David Baumwald. Supporting them was this highly enthusiastic release squad:

Editor Tech: Ella Van Durpe (@ellatrix)

Editor Design: Michael Arestad (@michael-arestad)

Core Tech: Sergey Biryukov (@sergeybiryukov)

Media Tech: Andrew Ozz (@azaozz)

Accessibility Tech: JB Audras (@audrasjb)

Docs Coordinator: Justin Ahinon (@justinahinon)

Marketing/Comms Coordinator: Mary Baum (@marybaum)

Joining the squad throughout the release cycle were 805 generous volunteer contributors who collectively worked on over 523 tickets on Trac and over 1660 pull requests on GitHub.

Put on a Billy Eckstine playlist, click that update button (or download it directly), and check the profiles of the fine folks that helped:

A2 Hosting, a4jp . com, a6software, Aaron D. Campbell, Aaron Jorbin, abderrahman, Abha Thakor, Achal Jain, achbed, Achyuth Ajoy, acosmin, acsnaterse, Adam Silverstein, Addie, addyosmani, adnan.limdi, adrian, airamerica, Ajay Ghaghretiya, Ajit Bohra, akbarhusen, akbarhusen429, Akhilesh Sabharwal, Akira Tachibana, Alain Schlesser, Albert Juhé Lluveras, Alex Concha, Alex Kirk, Alex Lende, Alex Shiels, Ali Shan, ali11007, Allen Snook, amaschas, Amit Dudhat, anbumz, andfinally, Andrea Fercia, Andrea Middleton, Andrea Tarantini, Andrei Draganescu, Andrew Duthie, Andrew Nacin, Andrew Nevins, Andrew Ozz, Andrey “Rarst” Savchenko, Andrés Maneiro, Andy Fragen, Andy Meerwaldt, Andy Peatling, Angela Jin, Angelika Reisiger, Anh Tran, Ankit Gade, Ankit K Gupta, Ankit Panchal, Anne McCarthy, Anthony Burchell, Anthony Hortin, Anton Timmermans, Antonis Lilis, apedog, archon810, argentite, Arpit G Shah, Arslan Ahmed, asalce, ashiagr, ashour, Atharva Dhekne, Aurélien Joahny, aussi, automaton, Ayesh Karunaratne, BackuPs, Barry, Barry Ceelen, Bart Czyz, bartekcholewa, bartkalisz, Bastien Ho, Bastien Martinent, bcworkz, bdbch, bdcstr, Ben Dunkle, Bence Szalai, bencroskery, Benjamin Gosset, Benoit Chantre, Bernhard Reiter, BettyJJ, bgermann, bigcloudmedia, bigdawggi, Bill Erickson, Birgir Erlendsson (birgire), Birgit Pauli-Haack, BjornW, bonger, Boone Gorges, Boris Brdarić, Boy Witthaya, Brandon Kraft, Brandon Payton, Brent Swisher, Brian Krogsgard, bruandet, Bunty, Burhan Nasir, caiocrcosta, Cameron Voell, cameronamcintyre, Carike, Carl Wuensche, Carlos Galarza, Carolina Nymark, Caroline Moore, Carrigan, ceyhun, Chad, Chad Butler, Charles Fulton, Chetan Prajapati, Chintan hingrajiya, Chip Snyder, Chloé Bringmann, Chouby, Chris Van Patten, chriscct7, Christian Chung, Christian Jongeneel, Christian Sabo, Christian Wach, Christoph Herr, Christopher Churchill, cklee, clayray, Clifford Paulick, codeforest, Commeuneimage, Copons, Corey McKrill, cpasqualini, Cristovao Verstraeten, Csaba (LittleBigThings), Curtis Belt, Cyrus Collier, D.PERONNE, d6, Daniel Bachhuber, Daniel Hüsken, Daniel James, Daniel Llewellyn, Daniel Richards, Daniel Roch, Daniele Scasciafratte, Danny, Darko G., Darren Ethier (nerrad), Dave McHale, Dave Whitley, David A. Kennedy, David Aguilera, David Anderson, David Artiss, David Baumwald, David Binovec, David Brumbaugh, David E. Smith, David Herrera, David Ryan, David Shanske, David Smith, davidvee, dchymko, Debabrata Karfa, Deepak Lalwani, dekervit, Delowar Hossain, demetris, Denis Yanchevskiy, derekakelly, Derrick Hammer, Derrick Tennant, Diane Co, Dilip Bheda, Dimitris Mitsis, dingo-d, Dion Hulse, Dixita Dusara, djennez, dmenard, dmethvin, doc987, Dominik Schilling, donmhico, Dono12, Doobeedoo, Dossy Shiobara, dpacks, dratwas, Drew Jaynes, DrLightman, DrProtocols, dsifford, dudo, Dustin Bolton, dvershinin, Dylan Kuhn, Earle Davies, ecotechie, Eddie Moya, Eddy, Edi Amin, ehtis, Eileen Violini, Ekaterina, Ella van Durpe, elmastudio, Emanuel Blagonic, Emilie LEBRUN, Emmanuel Hesry, Enej Bajgoric, Enrico Sorcinelli, Enrique Piqueras, Enrique Sánchez, Eric, Eric Andrew Lewis, Eric Binnion, Erik Betshammar, Erin ‘Folletto’ Casali, esemlabel, esoj, espiat, Estela Rueda, etoledom, etruel, Ev3rywh3re, Evan Mullins, Fabian Kägy, Fabian Todt, Faisal Ahmed, Felix Arntz, Felix Edelmann, ferdiesletering, finomeno, Florian Brinkmann, Florian TIAR, Florian Truchot, florianatwhodunit, FolioVision, Francesca Marano, Francois Thibaud, Frank Goossens, Frank Klein, Frank.Prendergast, Franz Armas, Gabriel Koen, Gabriel Maldonado, Gabriel Mays, gadgetroid, Gal Baras, Garavani, garethgillman, Garrett Hyder, Gary Cao, Gary Jones, Gary Pendergast, Geert De Deckere, Gemini Labs, Gennady Kovshenin, geriux, Giorgio25b, gisselfeldt, glendaviesnz, goldsounds, Goto Hayato, Govind Kumar, Grégory Viguier, gradina, Greg Ziółkowski, gregmulhauser, grierson, Grzegorz.Janoszka, gsmumbo, Guido Scialfa, guidobras, Gunther Pilz, gwwar, H-var, hakre, Halacious, hankthetank, Hapiuc Robert, Hareesh Pillai, haukep, Haz, Hector F, Helen Hou-Sandi, Henry Wright, hlanggo, hommealone, Hoover, Howdy_McGee, Hronak Nahar, huntlyc, Ian Belanger, Ian Dunn, Ian Stewart, ianjvr, ifrins, infinum, Ipstenu (Mika Epstein), Isabel Brison, ishitaka, J.D. 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zieladam, and Česlav Przywara.

Finally, thanks to all the community translators who worked on WordPress 5.5. Their efforts bring WordPress fully translated to 46 languages at release time, with more on the way.

If you want to learn more about volunteering with WordPress, check out Make WordPress or the core development blog.

Original source: https://wordpress.org/news/2020/08/eckstine/

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