#sanctum journal 📖

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Me, apologising to someone who got mad at me for their bad behaviour

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

As someone who didn't finish high school due to severe agoraphobia, it actually hurts a lot that people use it as an insult. If I could've gotten the help I needed back then, I would've graduated.

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Top surgery readiness assessment tomorrow!! I'm so excited, omfg 😱

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

I hate friend groups... I always feel like I'll never really be their friend. I'm just there.

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Ugh, I'm so terrible at staying on top of drinking enough water. I always wake up feeling like I'm a dehydrated corpse and then wonder why I get migraines smfh

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Dude, someone opened my mail and took the letter but left the envelope. Someone stole my fucking mail AND LEFT EVIDENCE. I fucking hate it here. Fuck all these tenants, I can't wait to move out. As if the roach infestation and stray cats marking their territory weren't bad enough. FUCK

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

I love Klaus from The Umbrella Academy so much 🖤 ugh God, he's such transition goals for me, plus he's hot, I'm ngl lol 🤭

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

I feel old and I'm only 25

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

OMG, 🙊 I'm not even gonna lie, I find other trans men hotter than cis dudes. I feel like I've become even more gay since resuming HRT 😂🏳️‍⚧️

heres a comp of all the kissing I caught at tboy wrestling 😗

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

It probably shouldn't matter, but it actually bothers me so much when people call me emo like..? Literally, just stop calling every alt person you see emo. I'm not even emo 😐

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Bro I'm trying not to go off at my friend and be really nasty because we were talking about my birther who is abusive af and she said "Yeah but you have to understand she's schizophrenic" so I told her, "No tf I don't" and I said, "Plenty of people with schizophrenia can be lovely people, she's just a bad person and has literally threatened to unalive me and said she'll use her diagnosis as an excuse" and then she goes "um, let's just agree to disagree on that" (the part about schizophrenics being able to be good people)

BEING SCHIZOPHRENIC DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?!??? I'M SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT HER FOR BEING THIS STUPID LIKE BRUH

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

I just can't pass with long hair. I WANNA KMS

Also, it's like spring or summer atm, and MY HAIR IS BOILING ME.

H E L P

Idk if I should keep cutting it until I'm further into my transition or if I should stick it out until then, and it's stressing me outtttt. Also, I'll have to get a new ID card when I change my name, so I should get it cut for the photo, right? Aaaaaa

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

I wish I had a garden of black flowers 💐

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

T4T relationships are so fucking cute and just everything I want. Cis men are mostly icky 😫

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

Man, I've been so stressy and depressy that I forgot that two days ago was my 1 year anniversary for HRT 😮‍💨

YAY ME FOR REACHING A FULL YEAR ON TESTOSTERONE 💉🥳

[ix-misguided-ghost-xi]

god dammit I just want to have long hair with no dysphoria, but MY BRAIN IS SCREAMING AT ME TO GET IT CUT 🙃