#sanctum journal 📖

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Me, apologising to someone who got mad at me for their bad behaviour

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Top surgery readiness assessment tomorrow!! I'm so excited, omfg 😱

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Just had a friendship break-up.. apparently, I'm the problem because they "communicate" passive-aggressively, and I'm just stupid for not understanding that I made them mad for taking their "question-that-isnt-a-question" literally 🙂 I love being autistic

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I hate friend groups... I always feel like I'll never really be their friend. I'm just there.

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As someone who didn't finish high school due to severe agoraphobia, it actually hurts a lot that people use it as an insult. If I could've gotten the help I needed back then, I would've graduated.

Can we stop using "still lives with their parents" or "unemployed" or "doesn't have a drivers license" or "didn't graduate high school" as an insult or evidence that someone is a bad person? Struggling with independence or meeting milestones is not a moral failing.

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Ugh, I'm so terrible at staying on top of drinking enough water. I always wake up feeling like I'm a dehydrated corpse and then wonder why I get migraines smfh

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Dude, someone opened my mail and took the letter but left the envelope. Someone stole my fucking mail AND LEFT EVIDENCE. I fucking hate it here. Fuck all these tenants, I can't wait to move out. As if the roach infestation and stray cats marking their territory weren't bad enough. FUCK

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I love Klaus from The Umbrella Academy so much 🖤 ugh God, he's such transition goals for me, plus he's hot, I'm ngl lol 🤭

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I feel old and I'm only 25

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It probably shouldn't matter, but it actually bothers me so much when people call me emo like..? Literally, just stop calling every alt person you see emo. I'm not even emo 😐

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Bro I'm trying not to go off at my friend and be really nasty because we were talking about my birther who is abusive af and she said "Yeah but you have to understand she's schizophrenic" so I told her, "No tf I don't" and I said, "Plenty of people with schizophrenia can be lovely people, she's just a bad person and has literally threatened to unalive me and said she'll use her diagnosis as an excuse" and then she goes "um, let's just agree to disagree on that" (the part about schizophrenics being able to be good people)

BEING SCHIZOPHRENIC DOES NOT MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?!??? I'M SO FUCKING ANNOYED AT HER FOR BEING THIS STUPID LIKE BRUH

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OMG, 🙊 I'm not even gonna lie, I find other trans men hotter than cis dudes. I feel like I've become even more gay since resuming HRT 😂🏳️‍⚧️

heres a comp of all the kissing I caught at tboy wrestling 😗

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I'm having such a hard time trying to make myself drink water. I haven't had plain water in days. The only thing I've been able to make myself drink is mineral waterrrr WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? WHY IS IT SO HARD TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF?

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RANT/VENT about ASD dx

I really don't think the people around me realise how comforting it is for me to have an official diagnosis for everything I have struggled with for the past 20+ years. It's like waking up from a bad dream. I know myself. I'm not doomed, and I'm gonna be okay because now I know who I am.

I can help myself now in ways I couldn't before because I didn't even know myself until now. I was lost. So many things have changed but also haven't changed at all. I am the same as I always was, but now I understand.

I don't have to suffer anymore. I am not broken.

But to the people around me, it's just "yeah, okay".. idk, maybe I'm the weird one for wanting the people I care about to be as happy as I am now that I have a word to explain how my brain works? It just feels like a big thing, imo 🥺

At least @tooth-is-exhausted hmu with the tism memes and has been so fucking supportive 🥹🖤

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GUYS

I FUCKING PASSED MY DRIVING TEST!!! FIRST GO!!!!!! JUST LIKE MY HAZARD PERCEPTION TEST!! 😱😱😱😱😱😱 FUCK I'M DEADLY OMGGG

Finally, something to feel good about in my life. I've actually accomplished SOMETHING.

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I wish I had a garden of black flowers 💐