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bitterkarmaa · 3 months ago

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“You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

-Eclipse & Blood Moon-

Blood Moon paces anxiously outside the closed door that leads to Eclipse’s room, pausing to listen in whenever they hear voices filter out from inside.

Eclipse was unwell. That was the only way they could describe it. He had days where he would lash out and then forget about the argument altogether, sometimes unable to walk or move beyond simply sitting up or turning over. Blood Moon hated these days. They hated them even more when Moon said they might become a common occurrence, willing that not to be the case, but, alas…here they were. Making rounds about the room like a nervous dog.

It had been bad today. Eclipse had woken up confused and lethargic, only deteriorating until Blood Moon decided to fetch Moon to check him over. Even Moon had seemed a bit worried, going as far as to usher Blood Moon out of the room to assess Eclipse’s condition in private.

The twins bicker in their mindscape, setting the body on auto-pilot while they outlet their emotions. Perhaps not in a particularly healthy way, but who would judge? It was all in their head - no one would hear.

“What if something is terribly, horribly, catastrophically wrong??”

“The Moon will fix it, trust his judgement.”

“I’d rather eat a tennis ball than trust Moonman.”

“I’m sure he has a plan.”

“Can you stop rhyming for five god damn minutes?? This is serious!!”

Scythe lets out a scoff, but doesn’t offer a retort. Instead, they turn away and begin fidgeting nervously with their claws, watching the code run endlessly around them. They register their show of anxiety before long, however, fiercely snapping their arms back to their sides like a cadet standing at attention.

“Why can’t you let yourself be worried? I want to know I’m not alone in this.” Sickle slinks closer to their other half, only for them to pull further away.

“You are alone. He still has mistakes of which he needs to atone. Until then, how do we know he’s grown?” Scythe’s tone is flat, feigned frustration present behind their words. Sickle doesn’t buy it.

“He’s done so many things for us! If you hadn’t noticed him changing, you wouldn’t want to front when he’s around. You and I both know that you enjoy his company. Why is that such a bad thing?”

Scythe huffs. They aren’t able to offer a response before Moon opens the door to Eclipse’s room and both brothers are fighting for control of the body, finally settling on a mutual agreement that splits the console both ways.

They scamper up to Moon, trying to peer around him into the room beyond.

“He’ll be alright. Today’s worse than usual, but it’s nothing that some rest won’t fix.” Moon comments as his rougher, more violent counterpart begins to knead at the ground with their claws, leaving marks on the wooden boards beneath them.

“Can we see him?” Blood Moon asks, voice sharp and intense, almost daring Moon to deny their request.

“I…suppose. Be careful, though. He’s not in his right mind, so to speak.” Moon replies hesitantly, stepping to the side to allow the twins to enter the room beyond. They bolt inside immediately, though give pause at the sight of their father, so obviously worn and troubled, leaning against a pile of pillows carefully organized to prop him upright. Their pace slows, taking small, measured steps towards the bed.

Eclipse groggily lifts his head, blinking the fog out of his eye.

“E-Eclipse?” Blood Moon murmurs anxiously, internally battling the urge to outright call him ‘dad’ or ‘father’ in case he doesn’t register being addressed that way.

“Hm?”

It’s like talking through a window, or a screen door. The words reach him, but he doesn’t react in the way they had hoped he would. He’s there, physically, but…where is his mind? His thoughts? His feelings? He seems so…empty.

“Do you…know who we are?” They ask the husk of their father, each passing moment tearing a deeper wound in their core that they hadn’t realized was there until it throbbed.

“Of course, boys. Why wouldn’t I?”

Those words should bring more comfort than they do. Instead, they only seem to worsen Blood Moon’s unease.

“What is going on with him?”

“His recollection seems rather…slim.”

“But he knows us. That has to count for something, right?”

“It might.”

Cautiously, they slink closer to the side of the bed, remaining within reach of Eclipse but still far enough to make a break for the door, if needed.

“Something is…wrong. With you. Are…you alright?” Blood Moon asks, resisting the urge to throw themselves onto Eclipse and sob into his chest like a child. They can’t quite explain it, but they don’t think they’d get the reaction they need from Eclipse if they did such a thing. Not now. Not with him like this.

Eclipse’s optic trails down to his lap, staring vacantly at his claws. His gaze dims for a moment, brows furrowing, processing their question while simultaneously comprehending none of it all at once.

As his stare becomes clouded with indecision, Blood Moon moves closer, making a move to climb onto the bed while they wait for their answer. As soon as their hand touches the blankets, however, Eclipse seems to snap out of his trace, hand lashing out and claws sinking into Blood Moon’s own. They let out a hiss of alarm, wrenching their arm back and tugging their hand out of their father’s grasp, sending a splatter of oil over the floor between them.

They back away like a wounded dog, metaphorical tail between their legs and head bowed fearfully.

“My turn.”

The body stalls, limbs going rigid and eyes going black. Before long, however, they switch back on and flash furiously, blazing pentagrams burning in the depths of their dark, grating gaze.

“Get a grip, before we rip, tear, and dismantle your delicate skeleton into pieces of gelatin, simpleton!” They snarl, bristling like an agitated cat. Eclipse slowly shifts backwards, sitting right back where he was before his sudden and unprovoked attack.

“I…I didn’t…” Eclipse’s voice is distant, confused. His optic flits back down to his claws again, flexing them slowly, as if their presence disturbs him despite the fact that he’s had them his entire life. At least…as far as the twins know.

Slowly, they relax, allowing the slightest hint of curiosity to linger on their face.

“Do…do you have any idea what’s going on with you?”

The dam cracks. “No. No, I don’t. I don’t know what’s going on.”

Blood Moon remains silent at their father’s admission, eyeing him dubiously. Slowly, cautiously, they begin to slide towards the bed once more.

”Boys, I-I don’t want to hurt you again, don’t-“ Once Eclipse realizes what his sons are doing, he tries to deter them, a spark of panic flaring in his chest. The oil on the floor, on his claws, sinks into his CPU and takes root like a damn virus, refusing to budge no matter where he looks. His mind always brings him back to the oil, to the reminder of what he’s just done. He doesn’t even know why. He doesn’t have any good reason to give them, some assurance that it won’t happen again-

“Dad.” Their voice cuts through the fog like a knife, hands grasping at shaking arms as Eclipse jolts, almost flinching away if it weren’t for their unyielding grip keeping him in place.

“You’re having a bad day. There’s nothing wrong with not being okay.” They assure him, their voice uncharacteristically gentle.

All Eclipse can do is stare at them, quietly. The shock keeps his mouth shut. It shouldn’t be like this. He’s supposed to be the one comforting them. This…this is all wrong. Very, very wrong. But…what can he do? His mind is sluggish, each thought fleeting and nearly incomprehensible. His hands feel weak, yet he knows they aren’t, as the intensity he clawed Blood Moon with was anything but weak. Each limb aches fiercely, each movement only increasing the strain.

And he has no explanation. No reason why.

“I’m sorry, boys. I’m so, so sorry.” He rasps, his voice cracking. Despite the vulnerability in his tone, he refuses to allow the tears that sting at the back of his optics to flow freely down his face. At least, not until Blood Moon speaks again.

“You’re scared. We’re scared. That’s okay. It’s okay to be scared.”

They remember curling up beside his body, listening intently to his shallow, raspy breaths. All they could think was “it was us, it is our fault he’s like this.”

They hated the fear they felt then. Hated the terror that came with bated breath, waiting for Eclipse to go cold and still one final time. They felt it wasn’t justified, that it made no sense because they were at fault.

But what is fear, if not the consequences of an action? It could be your action, or someone else’s, but, either way…

It’s still a consequence. A result. Everything stems from something. Blood Moon should know. They stemmed from Eclipse. And they won’t abandon him just because he’s feeling some consequences, too.

“Blood, it’s more complicated than that-“ Eclipse begins to argue, but Blood Moon silences him with a simple shake of their head, cutting him off before he can finish.

“You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

This time, the damn breaks. Eclipse lets out a choked sob and pulls his sons into a tight embrace, holding them against his chest. They allow this, cuddling into his hold, wrapping their own arms back around him. They can’t quite explain it - don’t quite know why - but their own eyes sting with unshed tears after only a few moments of being held.

“I love you, boys. I love you so damn much.”

“We love you too, Dad.”

“Both of you?”

“Both of us.”

Perhaps Blood Moon’s hand is wrapped gently and carefully in handmade bandages the next day. Perhaps the bandages are orange and red, and perhaps the scratches they hide aren’t deep enough to truly need any sort of mending anyways.

Perhaps Blood Moon doesn’t care. Perhaps they wear them and wash them like one would a prized possession, keeping them on at all other times.

Perhaps they only let Eclipse put them back after every wash…

And perhaps he smiles when he does.

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#karma’s bitter #karmas bitter but so am i #sun and moon show #the sun and moon show #tsams #kb eclipse #kb blood moon #kb drabbles #sams au #sams eclipse #sams blood moon

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