#sammichofdoom

[dugnam-blog]

sammichofdoom

dugnám!

[transcultist]

sammichofdoom replied to your post: I've noticed you use the term transsexual, rather...

I want to be able to reblog this :(

I'll make it rebloggable in just a second!

[ammukutty]

Oh, I'm not telling you to change your tone. Just that people wont listen to you if you don't. That's not really a threat, just an observation of how people tend to react to violent / hostile / negative language. I'm sure you have wonderful points that the world could desperately need to hear but if you phrase them in such a way that people feel insulted reading them they probably aren't going to take you seriously.

Did I say you were threatening me? No

Did you actually look up what tone policing is? No.

Do I give a flying fuck what you think about my tone? No.

I could give you 50,000 reasons why you're full of shit, such as the fact that no revolution has ever come from polite discourse, but you won't actually listen so I'm not going to waste my time. Kbai now. 

[transcultist]

I think I was hung up on a point that wasn't really on the table. Apologies, you have every right to be concerned about your safety. I need to remember I live in a part of the world that is far more accepting than other places.

That's alright. I think that you touched on an important point here in terms of remembering that your personal circumstances are not necessarily the same as those of other trans women. This is something that we would all do well to keep in mind when having discussions about the issue of disclosure.

[transcultist]

Can you not see how allowing someone to develop romantic feelings for you without disclosing that information could be harmful? It's like saying it shouldn't matter what sex I am, because sex plays no role in a relationship. Trans women bullying lesbians are doing the same thing. They think that their sex has no baring on attraction.

Recognizing that disclosing to the wrong man could be incredibly costly for me and treading carefully as a result is not the same thing as arguing that biological sex has no affect on attraction. If I explain my situation to a man and he is no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with me as a result, that's perfectly acceptable. I would never try to bully someone into disregarding my sexed body the way that "cotton ceiling" pushing trans women do. However, no one is entitled to that information before I can be reasonably sure that they aren't going to assault me or spread it around. I find it very strange that this is a controversial position.

[transcultist]

How do you feel about the "cotton ceiling" then? Could you not see a similar argument about how people have a right to know before entering into any sort of romantic situation?

I really don't see how not disclosing my status until I've gotten a feel for whether a man can be trusted is even remotely similar to trans women trying to bully lesbians into being attracted to penises. Where is the parallel here?

[transcultist]

Violence is never acceptable, but that doesn't excuse the behavior of misinformation. Yeah no one should ever be assaulted, but at the same time you shouldn't lie to people. Especially the people you're romantically interested in.

I honestly don't care if people consider it deceptive to wait for a period before disclosing to someone I'm interested in. My safety comes first, always. If you're comfortable sharing that information early on, go right ahead, but many of us aren't, and that discomfort is more than justified.

[ammukutty]

I hope, at the very least, that what you're doing makes you happy. You also seem very hostile towards any dissenting opinion. You might have more luck convincing people to listen to you if you were slightly more receptive to other opinions and then countered with information as to why those opinions are wrong and yours is right. What do I know though~

Open a new tab and search "tone policing" 

I do not have to be nice to people whose existence is actively propagating violence and rape. Nope not one iota. I can see you reblogged that revolting misogynist and if you can't see what's wrong with what she wrote I can't help you. Maybe you should read her articles about how women who fall pregnant and don't have abortions when their male sex partners want them to are whores, or how sex is a womans wifely duty. Why don't you stop being ignorant and lazy and go find out for yourself?

[transcultist]

I know this is a bit weird, but I wanna hang out with you. You seem really chill ^_^

"Chill" isn't really a word I'd use to describe myself, since I'm actually an incredibly high strung person, but this is very flattering anyway!

[transcultist]

Hey sorry to comment on something that really isn't my business, but couldn't you make the argument that sex dysphoria's symptoms are partially treated by transitioning? While not a cure, treating symptoms helps alleviate some of the stress for some people. I am no longer suicidal, which seems to be a plus xD

Oh, I don't deny at all that transition treats sex dysphoria, that's certainly been the case for me. I didn't mean to imply that I consider myself some sort of grand arbiter of other people's choices.

[transcultist]

I think I'm in love with your brain. I've never possessed any great mastery of the english language but you've seemingly scrawled my thoughts almost effortlessly all over your blog. So thank you for being more capable than I.

That's certainly a high compliment, thank you!