#same username w/o the dash
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mostly-imagines · 5 months ago
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Hey there! I’m the anonymous ask from earlier (the explicit tags one).
The only reason I sent in that first ask is because, for people struggling with addictions to explicit content (like myself), seeing certain stuff come across the dashboard can be triggering and bring setbacks on the road to recovery. I wouldn’t be bothering if it weren’t for that!!
I just wanted to specify to make that first ask clearer, and I thank you for the understanding <3
hi! i completely understand where you’re coming from but i feel that the term ‘smut’ is too broad for me to tag every 18+ post that way. not all of them are necessarily explicit, plus i think any individual persons consideration of whats explicit varies greatly. so like while some people might not be okay with reading full on sex, others may be fine with written nudity or graphic discussion (both of which technically qualify as smut) and if i tagged them all as such i’m worried it would limit my ability to spread my work to people that are okay with the latter half examples. for anything that’s clearly just sex i believe i tag those with smut, and i’m actually going to go look now to change it if im wrong
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woodlandscab1n · 3 months ago
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I feel like Discord it's way better to tell and block everything from the other person's view than let it super unclear. I think you should be able to toggle if you wanna see the pop up of "you have this person blocked, you wanna see their messages anyways in the server you guys are in?".
Esp in community servers, I feel like it sorta defeats the purpose, I just don't wanna know that person exists lol.
As for Tumblr, I would much prefer a system like Twitter's actually. Rarely, I felt way safer in Twitter when it came to blocking people, it felt way better that I could block their view of me but not my view of them, plus if they want to block my view of them they could block me back.
To not see posts, just muting people is nice. Then you can decide if you wanna see them in your notis or not if they interact with you.
What you could maybe do? Is on the content filter you can put in their username and it's pretty much muting them w/o blocking.
What I was thinking for a more subtle blocking feature is that their blog just doesn't update anymore for them, any new post after they were blocked they can't see. Or even just, updates of the blog as a whole, like layout changes. As well as removing yourself from their dash, even if mutuals reblog a post of yours.
It could tell you the same error thing when you're blocked now too.
edit: I forgot to add that yeah, I don't have issues with most people I block here LOL. Either they have me in their DNI or I just dont like their posts in gen. The blocking we have now could be a soft block option, while hard block could be well, for people that are harassing you or you're scared of em.
I kinda hate that Tumblr doesn't tell you when someone's blocked you. I don't know what's safer if blocking your view of the blog or just letting it like that.
I guess people here don't make that big of a deal off of blocking so, mayb that's something
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yanderart · 4 years ago
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   Once you found Shouto on the Anti-Purge forums, it felt so wonderful to be understood. So comforting to finally have someone you could rely on...
So, when you got a letter notifying you of your selection for the Annual Purge later on, of course you went to seek his help.
Should’ve known better than to trust strangers online, though.
My fic/portrait convo for the Yandere Purge Collab, from the Lovesick Discord. And please check the rest of the m. list for other amazing works set in the same AU!
Under the cut is the actual fic (Todoroki x Reader, nsfw, dark themes, 10k), as well as the respective TWs. Hope y'all enjoy 🥀
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Tws: Usual yandere ones (stalking, manipulation, delusion). Dub-con/Non-con. Non-consensual Drug Use, aka Aphrodisiacs. Death threats and sexism (from randoms on the forum, not Todo). 
-------
   You couldn’t think straight —hadn’t been able to since waking up again. All you could recognize amidst the fog currently obscuring your thoughts was the longing, prolonged, and tangible in its hold over your being.
You felt hot all over, the flames licking at your skin burning brightly as you squirmed from your place, eagerly attempting to get closer to the cold reprieve emanating from the man that held you. 
“Tell me what’s wrong, Y/N." One of his hands was steering you on his lap, the other one gently massaging your shoulders in a comforting motion. “I can only help you if you do."
If your judgment had not been overcast by the desire pushing away your self-awareness, then perhaps you could’ve heard the faint hint of amusement in his voice. Perhaps you would’ve thought to look up and finally encounter the content shine of his heterochromatic eyes.
“I feel…" speaking was laborious, your tongue impossibly weighty and your mind swirling with thoughts that escaped any semblance of coherence. “I feel hot all over. It hurts.”
The hand positioned around your waist went to search for one of your clenched ones, easily engulfing it in his grip as he nudged the side of your face with his chin rather tenderly. A gentle encouragement for you to stay attentive, anchoring you to the moment despite your dazed mindset. 
“Show me then,” his low timbre tickled your skin, sending another wave of excruciating heat to wreak havoc inside your body, “Let me know where it hurts.”
With a stuttering sigh, you proceeded to press both of your hands to your lower stomach, gulping audibly before bringing them further down. Dancing just short of your underwear while your eyelids fluttered shut. 
You knew your actions were out of character deep down. Even recognized the shadow of wrongness that distorted the current scene. You weren't supposed to do such things, weren't supposed to feel like that…
But the reality was that you were so excruciatingly warm by that point, and his palm felt so deliciously cold. 
When you heard the dreadful siren going off in the distance, the instantly recognizable sound of the Purge starting at last, you were already too far gone to think of anything else but the fingers brushing against the thin cotton of your panties, so close to the evidence of your need soaking through them. 
Your parents had told you not to trust strangers online once upon a time. You should’ve really taken their advice more to heart.
。。。。。
   But first, perhaps a little tracing of your steps is in order —some necessary context to fully understand the extension of your plight. 
You see, earlier that day you had woken up full of a peculiar mix of drive and determination. It was indeed Purge Day, the single day of the year you had grown to fear the most  ever since childhood, and yet for once you found yourself oddly relaxed, filled to the brim with resolve instead of your usual nerves. 
Which was already an unexpected turn of events, considering you had just gotten a letter notifying you of your selection as one of the accursed Darlings of the Night. 
A gentle reminder that, if caught, your life would stop belonging to yourself for an entire dreadful year. 
Because a Yandere had their sight on you now, or so the notice had informed you in impeccable typography. Anxious fingertips memorized the slight raise of inked words, inspecting every single detail the letter carried.
You had imagined a monster ready to pounce just outside your door then, fitting enough to be the carrier of your bad news. A preternaturally grotesque being, built from all the Yandere themed horror stories you had heard throughout the years.  
And yet there you were, feeling safer in that instant than you had in years; Because this time you had a plan. He made sure to give you one you could easily follow.
Just like he later made sure to welcome you in with a kind smile and awfully persistent hospitality. 
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
You should've known better than to accept.
。。。。。
   In the present, fingers were now dipping under the elastic of your panties, ghosting across feverish skin and encouraging your whimpers to grow louder. 
"Is this what you want, then?" The man's breath tickled one of your ears, rough digits gathering your slickness with practiced ease. And he sounded genuinely concerned too, as if your discomfort was not a consequence of his own machinations. "Because I wanna ease your pain, baby. Give you what you truly need."
He barely even touched you yet you were already struggling not to crumble, the desire governing your mind mixing with the new sensations to create a new delirious kind of torment. 
Continuing to tease you, the man was relentless in his torture, barely even brushing over your neediest spots. A gentle press of his palm to stimulate you for a moment before pulling back, much to your shameful frustration; Better than nothing, but not close enough. 
In his own way, though, he was urging you to speak up. Expecting you to demand what you truly wanted. 
Yet as a retort, all you could come up with was gasping out his name, dripping from your lips like honeyed prayers as your hips fought to buck up against his hand. 
 A sound you afterward repeated a hundred times over. Chanted until its melody became engraved on your tongue and the man was finally caving in, sliding his fingers inside with a smirk. 
He had known you'd end up caving, had planned for it for months now, and yet nothing had prepared him for the actual view.
。。。。。
   Shou, actually, had been his username when you first met him. Once upon a time recited with a genuine smile and an eagerness to please, such a far cry from the anguished whines it would later lead up to.
You started frequenting the forum he inhabited a few months back. A place which happened to be a hidden corner of the internet for people who did not just stumble upon it, but actually sought it out. A part of the web where its occupants challenged societal norms and, against what society had tried to condition you all into thinking,  chose to voice their taboo Anti-Purge sentiments instead. 
Sentiments perhaps born either due to the inherent discriminatory nature of the holiday (why was it that Yanderes were accommodated for, while Darlings barely got a warning before they were made prey?), a need for contrarianism (when opposing open kidnappings, assault and other debauchery became an act of rebellion), or just a tenuous moral high ground which made it unbearable to stomach. Whatever the reason, it was your first time encountering such a density of like-minded peers.
Despite attempting to commit yourself to being a lurker, deciding to never post or reply to others, your days had still quickly become consumed by the need to read each and every topic. You were simply fascinated with this new dark corner of the web. 
That was, of course, until the aforementioned Shou became the main focus of your attention, a dash of intriguing brightness to break the monotony of your existence.
And like moths rushing to the flame, your curiosity would be your undoing.  
There was something about him that pulled you in (along with many others from the community, which tended to flock on his posts whenever he grazed the forums). His username was clearly just a nickname instead of a carefully crafted pseudonym; profile picture just an image of the back of what you all assumed to be his hair, dual-toned strands catching the light in a hypnotic way.
Truly, his disregard for anonymity within those parts was a bigger statement than you were expecting, almost as commendable as it was dumbfounding. There was the nature of his postings too, never subtle about his inclinations or ideas. 
   How to disarm and reutilize Purge Traps. 
   Most effective ways to incapacitate a violent assailant.  
   Government lies and why they matter. 
   Faking a BOPC (breach of purge code) and getting away with it.
There was little method to the madness that was his forum activity, besides the hint that he was evidently more knowledgeable about the subject than most. Plus the fact that he was proactive about his advice, actually seeking to teach others to fight back instead of just hide away and hope for the best. For another self-proclaimed Darling, Shou was ruthless with his methods —it was hard not to admire him.
And admire you did, keeping tabs of his sporadic bursts of activity and speeding to try and interact with him whenever you caught him online. You were, to voice it simply, simply star-truck by him (and perhaps becoming a bit of a fangirl). 
Because whoever Shou was, it felt like he understood you. And so, against every ounce of your common sense or natural paranoia, you had finally decided to break your golden rule and reach out for the first time since you joined the niche forum. 
And not to just leave a vague comment agreeing on public discourse, but to actually send him a private message. In your defense, how were you supposed to know the chains of events your actions would start?
   Do you actually believe what you post?, had been your lame conversation starter. 
Luckily for you, he did not leave you hanging. You made sure to send the message while he was still active, one of the few days a week you knew he devoted to his presence on the site (and wasn't it slightly creepy, how you had taken the time to learn his schedule by that point?)
   I wouldn't be here if I didn't, dry, to the point and leaving you embarrassed to have even sent the first question. 
Yet for some reason, something about Shou reverted you back into a middle school kid seeking to impress a way cooler senior. 
Perhaps it was what he symbolized (a change for the better), what he appeared to be (everything you wish you were) —whatever it was, your fingers were frantically typing a reply as soon as his appeared on your screen. 
   I just think it's amazingThe things you know
   How you share them with everyone
   The way you see through the lies
   I just think you're— , your digits hovered over the keyboard as you were about to type out the last sentence before quickly deleting it. Even in your excitement, you knew how obsessed you'd sound if you started complimenting him personally in your very first conversation. 
So instead you sent your thoughts on his posts and awaited his answer with bated breath. A few minutes ticked by this time, your anxiety making you count down the seconds in mortified silence, slowly weighted down by your doubts until your notifications for the forum were going off again with a distinct ping. 
   I've seen your replies around. I think you're great too. 
Whatever your hang ups for praising him directly had been, he clearly did not harbor any. As the prongs of nervousness alleviated their hold over your body, you struggled to see any problems with it either…this was a person you had come to idolize, and they thought you were great?
Your smile, while still anxious, was considerable while you quickly responded. 
   I'm just a n00b. Learning from the pros. 
A moment of thought, biting your bottom lip as you decided whether to add a second message or not. Fuck it, you told yourself. 
   I wasn't even supposed to be posting anything, but you made me wanna reach out. 
Was that too forward? Oh god, it was, wasn't it? You must've sounded creepy, must've sounded desperate and…
   That's cute. Did my ramblings teach you anything? 
An actual squeal left you then, sounding like it came from an altogether different person. You were an adult, with a career and responsibilities… Yet somehow, this stranger online indirectly calling you cute made you more excited than you were comfortable admitting.
   Ofc. I didn't even know what a BOPC was before. Didn't know most of the purge traps you mentioned, either. 
The spaces between replies were getting smaller, the conversation turning fluent as you both seemed to be staring straight into the screen, waiting for the other to finish typing. 
   So you really are a n00b then. 
Shit, did you fail some sort of forum etiquette by admitting that? Somehow, the need to impress Shou was more palpable than ever. 
   And you clearly know your stuff. Makes me wanna up my game. 
Be more like you, you left unsaid. 
   So am I your senpai then? 
Your fingers froze just above the keyboards, eyes scanning over Shou's last message and reverted back to staring at his profile pic for a solid minute. You would've squealed again, if you weren't so taken aback. 
   You make it sound like I am, his second message lit up your screen, coming in quickly after your rare pause in replies.
   I don't think that's bad, though. Third message from him, and you were close to fainting now. 
   Then in that case I suppose you are. You wondered whether Shou wouldn't think you were pathetic admitting that, or whether he had been honest by saying he didn't mind... 
   I've also noticed you agreeing with some of my more polarizing views. 
A welcomed change in topics. 
You thought to ask him which ones (most of his posts tended to have a polarizing effect, with people finding him either too radicalized or not radicalized enough), but before you could formulate the question you saw the twinkling circles symbolizing he was typing up another sentence.
   Do you actually believe them? And now it was his turn to spit your words back at you. 
   Well, yah. You make compelling arguments. 
   Color me impressed then, the start of his new retort left your mind spinning. Never met a n00b like you before. 
After his declaration, you found yourself writing and rewriting your answer, hesitating on your word choice, and yet pure elation coursed through your veins. 
He said he's impressed with me, your brain kept supplying on loop. You had no way of knowing just how much of a lasting impression you were leaving. 
   I don't wanna stay one tho. I'd like to jump a few levels. Improve.
Barely a moment's notice before his last message provoked a noticeable hitch in your breath. 
   I can help you with that. 
Which, as short of a reply as it was, left you giddier than would’ve been healthier to admit. 
Perhaps it could be chalked up to your work shifts growing more monotonous and tiresome, your social life becoming a faint echo of what it used to be, or just the regular wear and tear from a too-plain existence —a routine where you didn’t tend to engage with life, but just passively watched it go by.
Whatever the true reason was, that night you went to sleep with such a wide grin that the apples of your cheeks had started to hurt from the exertion, infinitely excited after getting to talk firsthand with someone you had already come to admire by that point. 
It almost made you self-conscious, knowing just how much it all meant to you, how such a small gesture on his part happened to mean the world to you. 
But there was really no reason to feel ashamed or overzealous over your own reaction. If you could’ve seen Shou, you would’ve known you weren’t the only one smiling.
。。。。。
   Almost as open of a smile as the one adorning his features right now, currently hidden from your view as his fingers set a maddening pace. Tortuously slow at first until his knuckles started brushing against your opening with each thrust. 
All you could hear now were the wet sounds of your arousal facilitating his movements, motions whose only purpose seemed to be to drive you more rambling and disoriented by the second. 
"Is this what you want? What you need, perhaps?" His usually calm voice was uncharacteristically affected as he gasped against your ear, the torture he was making you endure clearly getting to him as well. 
You were much too preoccupied with the waves of pleasure and warmth overflowing your body to give a proper response, but your lack of one did not deter him. 
If anything, your needy gasps and whines were the only encouragement he required. 
"Don't worry, Y/N. I'll take care of you, make you feel good."
By that point, the hand that had been petting your hair had found its way to your sopping heat too, calloused pads circling around your pearl while the man continued feeding you his eager promises. 
"I get you, baby. Just like you get me." So close, your entire body taut and ready to snap. "And you want me to take care of you too, right?"
You weren't conscious enough to understand the implications, your impaired judgment prohibiting you from reading further into the meaning of his words. He sounded so encouraging, so deceivingly tender despite stuffing you full of his fingers as you squirmed on his lap. 
All you could do was nod furiously.
And later on, when your senses sadly returned, dedicated yourself to lamenting over which of your actions brought you down this unfortunate path. 
。。。。。
    Perhaps, your consciousness supplied, it had been the fact that you opened up so readily. That you had dared to share with a supposed new friend, things that should’ve better stayed hidden in the first place.   
But goddamn it, you felt downright honored that he even considered you worthy enough to entertain in the first place. From the very first second, Shouto already had the upper hand. 
During the first few conversations, the topics you two discussed were all closely related to the purge and your mutual hang ups with it. Concise and carefully typed out messages were exchanged, discussing opinions you had never expected anyone to be interested in hearing—not from you, at least. 
But then, as the weeks slowly progressed, the subjects of conversation began shifting to both of your lives, to your occupations, hobbies, and, directly against the forum's policy for privacy, the people you two were outside the confines of your online corner. 
Even without actually exchanging any real data or supplying him with your name or age, you found yourself starting to open up more and more with each day.
You told him about your grueling office job, the friends you hadn’t seen or texted in weeks, and the reality of an apartment which more closely resembled a containment cell than a home…
Revelations that you had kept hidden for so long, which now came pouring out without regard for how mortified they made you feel. You were conscious of the limits blurring between you two the further you kept going, of how you were telling him things best left unsaid, cramped and buried in a hard to reach place. 
And yet, for some obscure reason, everything Shou represented made it impossible for you to resist the temptation to speak up, to demand to be heard for the first time in an eternity of quietness. 
You’re pathetic, is what you expected him to say in return. Pathetic, weak, meager, and worthless. Anticipating him, somehow, to echo all the doubts and deeply held fears you carried inside. 
   Most of my friends don’t understand either, was instead the response you  received. But most people don’t see what's wrong, what needs to be changed. You feel lonely because you do.
It wasn’t clear what you would’ve wanted to hear beforehand, the things you had fantasized someone would reply if you ever gathered the courage to share your anxieties. Whatever those expectations had been an eternity ago, they now vastly paled when compared to what your new friend was dangling in front of you. 
It felt like he was giving an excuse for things you had always perceived as personal failings. If what he said was true, it would mean it wasn’t your social ineptitude that kept people away, your uselessness, or uninteresting personality.
It would mean the shadows around you could still be dispelled somehow, exorcising the silhouettes of a suffering that had become a regular companion in your day to day life.
Brandishing a courage that only anonymity could give you, your fingers were a blur on your keyboard as you tried to ignore the rapid heartbeat in your chest, the fear, and exhilaration from opening up for the first time in forever. 
Something you would later regret a thousand times over.
   And you do too, and it wasn’t a question, a nervous comment or a stuttered retort. With the aid of the text format, you could look as confident as you knew you weren’t. You understand as well. 
You understand me, was the tacit meaning behind it. The prickling of unshed tears made it so you were furiously blinking, fighting against the downpour despite your eyes refusing to leave the screen for longer than an instant. 
   I do. More than you realize.
For all intents and purposes, your first mistake was indeed opening up. 
And your second one was being naive enough to let him in. Seriously, why hadn’t you heeded your parent’s advice about stranger danger?
。。。。。
   ...If they could only see you now, coming apart at the seams and with the name of your tormentor being the only word you were able to string together. 
"Such a beauty, and all for me," his praises accompanied you through the rough orgasm ripping through your body, lips kissing your forehead in stark contrast to the digits still pumping inside your heat. "Let me hear your voice, baby. Let me hear how beautiful my name sounds on your lips."
And you obeyed, because what other choice did you have. Mindless, broken, and oh, so needy. 
You continued to audibly moan as your climax unwound, crying out his name in absolute reverence while Shouto's smile deepened against your skin. The chill of his touch was still as soothing as ever, calming down the embers of a lust that refused to completely die down.
When he finally pulled his hands from your core, you felt excruciatingly empty. But you were not given enough time to wallow in your despair, because who you once considered your friend was then grasping your face gently between his hands, leading your gaze to meet his—forcing you to witness the intensity and adoration present there. 
"My Y/N."
Even in your deeply intoxicated state, the last few dredges of your senses supplied just how utterly abhorrent the situation was. 
The sirens signaling the start of the Purge had died down a while ago, drowned out by your own cries of pleasure, but you could still see the remnants of the government logo still plastered all over the TV, its bright glow bathing you both in an eerily scarlet ambiance. 
From the same weak place of coherence, a shiver of fear managed to break through your stupor. 
"You're going to continue to be a good girl for me, aren't you?" 
When he kissed you then, slow and almost ironically hesitant despite what had just transpired moments before, you couldn't begin to tell your body to refuse. Much to your own horror, you were soon eagerly kissing your tormentor back. 
。。。。。                                                      
   The second mistake leading up to your downfall, on the other hand, took a little longer to occur. It was after a few more weeks of conversation. You vented and talked way too much, while Shou listened intently and even rewarded you with a few crumbs of advice of his own.  
So wrapped up in your new seemingly innocuous friendship you were in, you failed to recognize the magnitude of an event that should've sent you scrambling to shut off your monitor. A warning so loud it would've put the Purge sirens themselves to shame. 
You see, with Shou's help, you were slowly becoming more of an active user around those parts. You didn't just stick to replying to his posts or lurking until he shot you a private message anymore; no, you were now officially a contributor, deciding to step out of your anonymity to share what you thought was a fairly interesting article. It was a rather long-winded thinkpiece on the morality of Darlings’ treatment after the Purge had ended—the reality of that year spent in captivity that most people tended to just brush under the carpet, all in the name of making the entire ordeal more palatable to digest. 
In all your eagerness, however, you had failed to realize a very crucial detail, which was that the article was a whole two days old. Already an ancient text by forum's standards, apparently. 
So with that in mind, of course you should've expected the hate, an outpouring of bitterness fit for a community of loners and acidic underdogs. You were on an anonymous forum on one of the darkest parts of the internet, somewhere most sane people actively stayed away from—Clearly, a rookie unwittingly reposting something was the perfect target for a lot of your bitter comrades. An excuse to finally take out all of their pent up frustration.  
   Fuck1ng pleb, thanks for copy-pasting the same post for the 55th time. 
   This is why we shouldn't let newbies post. Look at this mess @mods.
   Time to hang it up, n00b. And by “it”, I mean your f****** neck.  
   i bet ur a girl, [Username]. u type like a b1tch. 
And the icing on the cake for internet interactions, a myriad of wall spamming "KYS" being plastered all across the comment section, bold and daunting as they filled your notification box with the repetitions of hate. If you weren't so sure of your safety behind your screen, perhaps you would've felt intimidated. 
As it stood, you were just embarrassed, mortified at the fact that you had seemingly botched your only attempt at leaving a positive first impression. If anything, it only seemed you had given everyone a common enemy to pick on for once...
Or that was, at least, until Shou happened to log in at exactly that precise moment. You knew he was usually busy around that day and time (he never actually told you whether he had a job, but you had surmised as much from your past chats), so his instantly recognizable profile picture and username popping up had you genuinely gasping at first. It was one hell of a coincidence, but you couldn’t help but feel a sense of relief at what looked to be your savior.
   Everyone, stop getting your panties in a twist. This is why no new users end up staying, the environment is abhorrent. 
It was vague enough not to betray the fact that you two weren’t just strangers anymore, as well as keeping Shou’s reputation as a lone wolf from completely shattering.
And a comment which, surprisingly, instantly dulled most of the incoming messages your post was being flooded with. 
People respected him there, his status as a renowned user giving him a genuine sort of power and hold over the rest of the community. One of the first things you had recognized on the forums was the distinct hierarchical structures amongst its users, and there Shou might’ve as well be granted the title of mayor for all the weight his every sentence carried.
Or at least they did with the majority of the community. As in every place where large numbers of people gathered, there were always a few rotten apples just begging to be tossed. 
   and ofc ur whiteknighting for her, Shou The Great. shes sucking ur dick under evry single post u make
You cringed, studying the bitter user that had decided to be a contrarian and easily recognizing him from unsavory past encounters you witnessed. Although, if you were completely honest, this time you couldn't exactly say his words didn't carry a certain degree of validity.
Shou had told you he was glad that was the case with you, that his post resonating with anyone was one of the main reasons why he hadn't just disappeared from the site completely. But in reality, saying you weren't subtle about your agreement with his ideas would be an understatement. 
You were like a puppy skipping behind him, trailing his interactions and always ready to write an eager comment backing him up. Yet you had never thought others actually paid attention to your mostly one-sided interactions, the occasional meager downvote or emote being the only thing that made you aware your comments weren’t just lost in the sea of spam Shou’s posts were usually showered in. 
For the longest time, your support had just felt like leaving letters for the man to find. Letters you hadn’t even been sure had reached their target until a few weeks back...
Suddenly, the sharp sound of Shou's incoming reply drove you from your tribulations.  
   Well, maybe if you weren't such a crude man you wouldn't be permabanned from starting topics yourself. Although I doubt anyone would be sucking your dick either way, shitty ideology considered. [Image attached]
A grimace was quick to grow on your face as you aptly studied the picture Shou decided to close his reply with.
It was a screenshot of what looked to be someone's post history, a rather extensive list with alarmingly offensive titles such as "Why male darlings should be spared", "The purge is a form of cuckoldry" and “Feminist agenda: female yanderes and their biological advantage [Repost]". Almost all of them exhibited a tragic downvote ratio right as well, besides the red symbol signaling the posts had been archived by senior users or mods.
For someone who also loathed the terrible holiday, it was almost admirable how the man managed to be almost as detestable as the criminals you all rallied against. 
But even so, what disturbed you the most wasn't the clear bigotry of the user, but the fact that that screenshot couldn't have been taken from public records. A user's post history was hidden, just another measure on the site’s part to keep people from recognizing too many details about each other and possibly endangering themselves. 
No, it could only have been taken from inside the account. And judging from the other guy's quick reaction, you weren't the only one who came to that realization.
   how the fck did u get that
   I knew u were friends with the mods. fcking rats 
By that point, everyone else had stopped clogging the comments and, you assumed, instead opted to settle down and attentively observe the events transpiring. Apart from the emote reactions and the rapidly rising number of upvotes on Shou’s comments, you had all become a passive audience to the public ridicule.
Although you couldn’t help feeling slightly disjointed by Shou’s behavior. Below your wicked sense of pride at having him defend you, there was still the whispers of your gut telling you the man was going a little too far, his actions spelling a more sinister meaning than just “having a friend’s back”.
   You've been here for years, Minoru. Surprised you haven't yet noticed how much of a pest everyone sees you as. 
Minoru? You did a double-take, going back to read the username of the guy Shou was arguing with. But he just had a randomly generated number as a pseudonym, same as you and most others, and with just a picture of some anime sneezing girl to distinguish his profile from the rest. No trails or signs of what could Shouto be referencing to.
Nothing but an option you preferred not to consider. But it couldn't be, could it? your friend wouldn’t...
   fucking delete that right now, man.
   this isn't a joke, DELETE THAT. 
Only that the abrasive and desperate reaction told you everything you needed to know. Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, shock mixing with equal parts horror and amazement you couldn’t even begin to try and disentangle. Because right that second, you were witnessing your friend breaking the forum’s number one rule with a front-row seat to the spectacle. 
And he was doing it all in your name.
   Then maybe think twice before you go out of your way to harass newbies. Or have you had too much time on your hands after being fired, is that it?
It was vague enough not to represent any kind of threat... if not for the context of the site. And yet you all knew the hidden message behind it, the warning for whoever Minoru was to understand Shou knew much more than what he was letting on. That he could expose much more than he was currently alluding to. 
   y are u even doing this, shou? y do u care wtf happens to this noobslut anyways?
Shou's reply took barely a moment to appear, lighting up your screen and, despite the slightly morbid nature of his protection, coaxing out a smile to adorn your lips. It was like a balm being applied to your worries, quieting down most of your incipient concerns in favor of rejoicing. 
   They're a friend. 
For fuck’s sake, you even screenshotted that for posterity. Somehow, him acknowledging the new bond you two had openly felt like a milestone. 
When a mod came in to archive the post and give everyone involved a stern warning later on, you were already way past your previous doubtful sentiments. 
Instead, the last thing you did before going to sleep that day was to open up your private conversation with Shou and send a quick yet heartfelt message of gratitude his way. 
Months prior, you wouldn’t have ever thought you’d be thanking anyone for semi doxxing another human being. How rapidly things were changing, though, and all while you got lost in the thrill of mattering.
   Thanks for sticking up for me. It meant a lot, you typed feeling slightly lightheaded, drunk on the idea that anyone would think you worthy of having your back.
You thought Shou went offline after dishing out his not so thinly veiled threats, but somehow he was back again in an instant, the sound of notifications going off shaking any remnants of your exhaustion.  
   Anything for you, [Y/N]. 
You were so tired, it didn't occur to you that you hadn't yet shared your real name with your friend either.
That night, for once, you fell asleep with a twinkle in your eye and the image of Shou's multicolored locks dancing against your eyelids. Imagining, ever so briefly, your fingers trailing down the back of a neck you now had memorized from analyzing his profile picture. 
And, while you slept with your phone clutched to your side, you also failed to notice the peculiar sound of your own camera going off, the soft glow from the red light beside your lense bathing your features in its subtle illumination, flickering against your eyelashes and the lingering grin on your curved lips. 
You truly looked angelic like that. 
Suffice it to say, Minoru never bothered you again after that day. In fact, his name disappeared from the site not too soon after. 
。。。。。                                                   
    But now, to continue the grueling task of giving a context for your inevitable end, it is necessary to jump a month further into the future, barely a week from the excruciating present. 
Because it was then that the last strike finished nailing the coffin of your proverbial undoing, burying you under the weight of your own ignorance.
You got your notice in the mail on the Day of Announcements, an inconspicuous letter lacking any further distinction beyond a scarlet government seal emblazoned across its front. But even before you opened and read the message, you already knew of its contents—easily recognizing the image before you from several of the varied posts you had seen floating around on the forums lately.
   Purge Notice!!! Help needed Urgently. 
   Just got my letter. Do I stay hidden or fight back? [Open poll]
   Third time getting mine. AMA about my methods. 
The range of how you had seen other users reacting to their own selections was diverse, with some of them being more experienced while others, such as you, had just gotten their first letter ever. If things played out differently for you, then you were sure you would've been another one of the numerous panicked voices, awkwardly trying to maneuver their way out of their new situation.
And maybe, then, your odds wouldn't have been so completely fucked from the start. 
As it stood, as soon as you laid eyes on the notice, the first thing you thought of was how quickly you could boot up your computer and open the forum’s private messages. Because, for the first time in forever, you were overwhelmed by the feeling of someone else being there for you. 
Shou was your friend, had earned that spot fair and square after months of listening to you venting and sharing deep discussions; faster than you could even realize it, and so it was only natural for you to seek his help once the news of your selection for the new yearly Purge reached you. 
He had even threatened another user for your sake, for fuck’s sake. So, really, what harm could come out of relying on someone you were sure was trustworthy?
Maybe it was too late by that point for you to snap out of it, but it was almost amusing seeing you being so easily deceived. 
Just another reason why you needed him, certainly.
 。。。。。
    Already told you I'd have your back, had been his immediate reply barely an instant after you attached a candid photo of your hand holding up the envelope. Whatever you need, I’m here.
His lack of hesitation was palpable through your screen, heart hammering in your chest as you were faced with a kindness you had thought yourself undeserving of not long ago. 
As soon as you closed your mailbox, you had immediately raced to send him the message, completely foregoing telling any of your other friends or family members when you doubted they would even understand you in the first place. Shou had been right when he told you people just didn’t want to see the truth, even if it slapped them right in the face, leaving dark imprints in the shape of their narrow mindedness.
But he was there, he was letting you know as much, in his own words. And for what felt like the hundredth time in the past few months, you felt incredibly lucky to have stumbled upon the Forums in the first place, to have traced whatever fortunate path had led you to find him—the one person able to distinguish you in a world you always thought you blended straight into. 
   Thank you, Shou, for everything. And at that moment, you really had been truthful, so much so that there were tears prickling at your eyes, an overwhelming feeling of gratitude drowning you with its intensity.
Indeed, your final mistake had been your desperate need for acceptance. A need that had, in the end, cost you everything.
   You can call me Shouto now. No use for nicknames anymore.
Amidst the chaos of your life possibly crashing down all around you, somehow his revelation put a trembling smile back in your face. 
   Then allow me to repeat: thank you, Shouto. 
   Np, Newbie. Told you I'd help you level up, didn't I? 
His teasing managed to garner a small stuttering laugh out of you despite the dreadfulness of your situation. 
But you couldn’t help it. Somehow, every reply Shouto sent you only served to wrap the illusion of safety tighter around you. So tight in fact, that you should’ve started worrying about suffocating. 
。。。。。
   On the other side of the screen, the man with the multicolored hair couldn’t help but keep staring at the picture you had sent him earlier. 
He was transfixed, eyes almost unblinking as they refused to separate from the image. The way your fingers tentatively held the letter up for the picture was simply adorable to him. Beautifully naive. 
It wasn't like he hadn't seen your face before, like he hadn't already memorized the texture of your skin and the everlasting trace of a frown always threatening to dampen your mood. He read your expressions like poetry, every mole and scar furthering the securing of his interest. 
But this was the first picture you had actually chosen to send him out of your own volition, the final symbol of a trust he had worked so tirelessly to earn. Used to catching prey as he was, the man wasn’t entirely sure when you had turned from a game into a priority, from a priority into the only thing he could even make himself care for.
And it didn’t help that it was his letter you were holding, too. His formal declaration of pursuit. 
With time, Shouto was sure you would find it in yourself to appreciate the beauty of such irony. 
But, for now, what he really needed to do was buy some tea. Couldn’t have your own stubbornness ruining your first encounter, could he?
。。。。。
   In the coming weeks, your friend aided you and even coached you as you jointly planned for the horrific holiday, not only suggesting ideas but tracing the safety measures needed for them to succeed. You really had no reason to doubt him by that point.
That evening, after you finished letting Shouto know you were back from work, you made sure to pack all of your supplies into an inconspicuous bag you had acquired for the occasion. Whoever your Yandere was, it was best to not give any hints of your new acquisitions, just in case they were already stalking your movements. 
Shouto had helped you devise the list, mentoring you in your selection of weapons as well as self-defense arsenal—what brands of pepper spray to get, which ammunitions were most efficient and reliable, even what kind of clothing was the least troublesome if the need to escape ever arose. If you had been sure he knew his craft before, now you were surprised at just how vast his wisdom genuinely was. 
After the last few finishing touches of preparations, you were already on your way to the direction you had both agreed on (supplied by him, approved by you). There were several hours until the start of the Purge still, but the adrenaline swimming through your bloodstream was already considerable. 
Shouto had suggested you visited him for the Holiday, quoting how the measures in place for his home made it nothing short of a fortified vault, impossible for any outsiders to break into (and for anyone to break out of, but let's not get ahead of ourselves). 
With that in mind, how could you have refused his offer? Your place was barely an excuse for an apartment, windows that didn't entirely close, and feeble doors that could be easily broken into. Even if you weren't partly driven by the curiosity of meeting your new internet idol turned friend, it would've been foolish to decline. 
So in a few hours, you were sporting a nervous smile on your face as you parked your car in front of the largest apartment complex you had ever encountered. It was luxurious in a way you had only seen staring back at you from a television screen, marble, and gold accents giving you the impression you were about to step into a drama set instead of visiting an online friend. 
Before the surrealism of the entire situation could begin to set in, however, you noticed the young man sitting on the ample stairs of the building. He had an air of effortless elegance, tall and lithe, yet sporting a black turtleneck which hugged his frame and made it clear just how much sheer strength hid behind his movements. 
And he also sported the same peculiarly colored locks you had already memorized from the last few months, the light softly reflecting on them proving to be an even more impressive show when admired live. 
You were dazzled for an instant, wondering if, somehow, this entire thing was a prank and the Shou from the forums had just schemed his way into making a fool out of you in front of a handsome stranger. Way too convoluted, yet entirely too plausible to your bewildered self. 
Until the man lifted his eyes—as beautifully dual-toned as his hair, and catching sight of you standing just beside your recently parked vehicle. 
"Y/N," he was sharply climbing to his feet as he called out your name, the shy hint of a smile in his lip contradicting the monotone cadence of his tone. "Good to finally meet you."
You had first been under the impression that the Shou you knew was cold, the way he interacted with others on the site reminding you of an emotionless robot at times, but the man addressing you seemed like he was ripped straight out of a stereotypical rom-com. 
Maybe he'd be the aloof, tormented heir? Which, in your fantasy drama land, would make you the nearly illiterate and poor love interest. Your feelings of inadequacy only grew at the comparison.
Almost cute, how that had been one of your greatest worries once upon a time. How foolishly eager you were to be liked back then.
"Shouto." The name still felt somewhat strange on your lips, even after he had insisted you started calling him that. "It's good to meet you, too."
He was by your side in an instant, taking your bags from you swiftly and shutting the door to your ride. From this up close, it became considerably harder to disguise your staring. 
Even the scar which covered his left eye, a splash of reddish textured skin, somehow came across like yet another enhancer of his appeal. An underlying harshness which you couldn't help but be intrigued by. 
"Your hair looks even better in person."
And leave it to you to once again find a way to screw first impressions. You were chastising yourself a mere second after the words left your mouth. 
But Shouto only sent you that same hint of a smirk your way, his eyes appearing genuinely pleased at your praise. If he thought you were a weirdo and was regretting ever inviting you to his house, then he was a good enough actor for you to be fooled.
And fooled you he did, but with completely different intentions. 
"You look just like in your pictures," came his serene retort not long after.
Which you assumed was a joke, keeping in mind that the only photo you had ever sent his way had been of the Purge letter you received a few days ago.
Laughing lightly, you tried to ignore the nerves tugging at your chest before catching up with him on the steps of the building. 
As you giddily barged straight into the open jaws of the beast, it once again struck Shouto how utterly unsuspecting you were. How you trusted him so wholeheartedly.
He couldn't wait to see it all come crashing down.
。。。。。
   Inside his honest to god penthouse, your previous feeling of insufficiency only became more severe. 
The interiors were decorated sparingly, albeit fashionably. Filled with different muted shades and being unexpectedly traditional in the way they were designed. It was a stunning abode, even if you couldn't help but mentally point out how utterly unlived in it appeared.
There was not a single cup, shoe, or book out of place, everything perfectly polished and organized to the point that you felt hesitance as your sock-covered feet continued making their way through the place.
"Make yourself at home," Shouto told you most matter-of-factly. If you weren't so sure of his intentions by now, perhaps you would've thought he was being sarcastic. 
Without any of your belongings to distract yourself with, you instead gravitated towards what you could see of the kitchen through one of the sliding doors. 
It was very modern despite the rest of the aesthetic the penthouse sported, shiny stainless steel and spotless dark countertops. It should've looked out of place when paired with the carpeted floors, wooden furniture, and sparse pieces of classical Japanese art…
Yet somehow, it strangely fits. Just like his owner, you supposed, thinking back to the oddities that amounted to his unique brand of appeal.
And you really needed to stop thinking of your friend like that. 
When you heard the door to the apartment being audibly locked with a resounding click, you instantly stopped your fingers grazing the smooth countertops. Your instincts flared up with worry for a moment, right before you forcefully willed yourself to calm down.  
After reminding yourself of the true reason why you were there, the exhale you released next was one of clear relief. 
"Want something to drink?" Shouto appeared in your line of sight again, hands buried in the pockets of his pants and looking like the picture of composure. 
You felt embarrassed once again, knowing he had given you a free pass to roam but still somewhat self-conscious about intruding on his space. 
"You don't need to make me anything. I'm fine." Your timbre was apologetic, not used to slipping into the role of a guest just yet. 
He seemed strangely dissatisfied with your answer, closing some of the distance between you with a presence that had you almost flinching back for a second. 
There was an intensity in his gaze, something which you could not quite yet place. 
"But I want to be a good host. So let me." He appeared very serious about it, too, with his face growing stern as his peculiar eyes bore into yours. 
Not wanting to cause further distress, you imagined relenting would be the best course of action. 
It was like you were molded to be the perfect Darling, so wonderfully meek and gullible.
"Okay then. Water is fine."
Yet Shouto shook his head, still somewhat dissatisfied with your answer. 
"Tea it is." His phrasing allowed little space for argument. "I know you mentioned liking a few brands before, so I took the liberty of stocking up on them."
A surprising burst of laughter broke through your anxious feelings then, drawing Shouto's eyes again from the particular cabinet they had drifted to as he mentioned the beverages. 
He looked at you puzzled, an unasked question written all over his otherwise blank expression, and so you decided to reply from the surge of unexpected amusement you were experiencing. 
"It's only a night, Shou," you didn't even realize you had slipped back into his nickname, too entertained by how much he had apparently overdone his hospitality. "There really wasn't any need for you to go buy my favorite teas."
His eyes blinked quite slowly your way, his expression back to his vacant mask before a smile reappeared.
"I wanted you to feel welcomed," he supplied as he approached the cabinet he was eyeing before, dedicating himself to searching for whatever kind of flavor of tea he had in mind. 
In response, you just shrugged your shoulders with another chuckle. 
"And I didn't get you anything. You're making me feel even more out of place."
"Nonsense," he cut you off in that deadpan way of his, hands rummaging through the most ridiculously vast tea collection you had ever seen. And then he added, decidedly quieter, "today is supposed to be about you, after all."
Too bad you didn't pick up on it. 
When he ushered you back to the salon with barely a wave next, pointing at one of the cushions arranged around the short-legged table, you decided to follow his suggestion and wait there while he finished brewing the drinks. By now, you understood the futility of offering any kind of help when he was still so intent on properly welcoming you. 
So, curious as you were, your eyes continued to inspect each and every inch of the apartment, drinking up all the pieces of info you could observe, that you didn't even think of the potential dangers of letting a stranger fix you a cup while you weren't looking.
Unbeknownst to the other, you were both actively counting down the seconds until the Purge started, minds lost to your own inner turmoils from opposite sides of the suite. 
And for entirely different reasons, you were both filled with anticipation.    
。。。。。
   Meanwhile, finally back in the present after retracing the steps that guided you there, it was becoming increasingly hard to compartmentalize the chaos brewing inside you.
Shouto’s lips were the personification of hunger against yours, an inescapable gluttony to mark and consume every single inch of you he could encompass. 
After a hint of understanding returned to your body post-orgasm, your vision and the sensations you endured were becoming disturbingly vivid. It was impossible to conceive anything beyond his hands ridding you of your flimsy camisole, palms cold in comparison to the heat you felt, splaying against your sides and slowly making their way up the sensitive mounds of your chest.
“All mine, baby.” You barely registered his teeth nipping at your bottom lip until a shock of pain snapped you out of your trance.
He bit you, and quite harshly too, but when you tried to instinctually pull back his response was to hold you even tighter. Before you could attempt to voice your complaints, his tongue was darting out to clean up the droplets of blood he spilled. 
“Out of all the Darlings I’ve played with, you’re the only one I’ve ever even considered keeping, you know?”
And now that had you freezing, even amidst the cloud of desire still muddling your cognizance. His arms pressed you closer still, forcing you to bury your face against his chest, completely unphased by the bloody mess your mouth had morphed into.  
Had he tricked others before then? Was that the reason why he was even on the Forums in the first place? 
You wanted to ask him what he meant, wanted to demand explanations for a phrase that had dread closing around your neck like a noose. But whatever he slipped into your drink to keep you so awfully responsive and pliable, also appeared to make forming any complex sentences incredibly hard…
Shou, ever the receptive one, caught onto your change in demeanor rather aptly. His face nuzzled your hair softly, humming a calming melody as if you were a scared child who could be so easily reassured. Meanwhile, his hands hadn’t abandoned your breasts, still tenderly kneading them with a touch bordering on worship.
“But I’m glad you weren’t my first, baby. Means I could be all ready for when we met.” He rocked you both as he rested his back further on the sofa, opening his legs wider below you and forcing you to settle closer to his clothed groin with a whimper. 
Your arms reached out to grasp his shoulders while you tried to stabilize yourself, the strain of his erection resting snuggly against your still sensitive slit. 
"Helped me to know when to pull back," he kept confessing, purposefully thrusting into you while he kept lovingly massaging your chest, fingers twisting your hardened peaks to coax a new kind of mewl to be uttered against his skin. "Wouldn't want you to break now that I've finally found you."
The fact that your bodies seemed to fit so perfectly, even in your impaired state, was not an irony lost on you. 
Abruptly, Shouto stopped fondling your breasts in order to maneuver your face again, both of your stares meeting in a vehement standoff before he continued. 
“I’ll make this as close to perfection as I can, I promise you.” And you got a direct view of the vulnerability in his uniquely colored eyes, the nature of his words clearly heartfelt despite the atrocities they alluded to. 
As you heard him drag his zipper down, the hand clutching your jaw trembling in anticipation, you couldn’t help the new wave of warmth spreading through your body, negating all the fear and anxiousness warring inside you in order to shamefully expose your baser desires.
Now that whatever had been clouding your  judgment was pulling back slightly, your thought process had begun to snap back into place, overflowing you with a terrible sense of shame at your own reactions.
He gave you something earlier with your drink, you were sure of it, and yet you couldn’t help but still be horrified at just how much you were enjoying it. Once you felt the flushed head of his cock placidly rubbing against your thigh, the sounds leaving your mouth weren’t ones of complaint, peril or dissent.
Quite the contrary, actually, and it only made Shouto grow bolder.
As the hand clutching your face grew tenser, gripping you with force before tugging harshly, you got the hint. Now painfully following his lead, it wasn't long before the previous pressure against your legs was now resting directly against your cunt. 
The pre-cum already gathered on him mixed in with your still oozing arousal, smearing the span of your outer lips as he lightly teased you one last time. 
You were so mortified by that point, that if he had offered to end your embarrassment right then and there with one of the several weapons you knew he kept, you would’ve been very inclined to accept. 
“... I didn’t even think there was such a thing as 'The One' before, actually.” You hadn’t even realized the man was still talking, ardent whispers getting lost on the intensity of the situation. 
His eyes were searching your face, a satisfied twinkle lighting them up as soon as you returned his stare of your very own volition. Perturbed, you wondered if his delusion made him see anything beyond a twisted mix of lust and fear reflected back at him. 
“But I now know just how wrong I was, Y/N.” So sure of himself, tone back to the stern cadence you previously associated with him for a moment, gripped by a gravity befitting of his obsession. “Indeed, I think you were always meant to be my darling… don't you agree?”
To your credit, you did struggle to speak up, to gain back the control over a body which had stopped listening long ago. Too bad you only managed a single pitiful word out.
“Shouto…”
But before you could even fathom attempting a better response, he was breaching into you, sheathing himself with an ease you wished you could overlook, turning your voice from an anguished plea into outrageously labored moans. 
You had once thought Shou had been interested in you because he somehow perceived you as anything but pathetic, but you were beginning to think it had been your weakness which drew him in all along. 
So deliciously frail, that even a predator like him had been driven with an urgent need to protect you. To break you down, just so he could be the one to build you back together.
As he started fucking you with shallow thrusts, hips bucking up from the sofa while he tenderly guided you until your body was mimicked his motion on its own, you couldn’t help but be the most disturbed at his oddly affectionate ways. 
As awful as it sounded, now that your mind had awakened from its stupor all you wanted was for him to bend you over and abuse you, manhandle you and mistreat you in a way which unequivocally screamed assault. You wanted bruises painting your skin, proof that you hadn’t just willingly given up and facilitated your own ruin. 
He was humiliating you despite the pretty words he decided to disguise it as—showing you how easily he could own you and even make you enjoy it, drug-addled drink or not. 
But as his mouth latched around one of your hardened nipples, sucking generously until his name was once again fast on your tongue, you also couldn’t deny the crystal clear responses you were giving.
You could attempt to lie to yourself later, could swear it was all a delusion born out of the deranged man's mind, but the particular brand of your screams was unmistakable.
When your own hand reached down to facilitate your release, you knew you were already acting beyond what you could've previously attributed to the drugs. Toying with your bundle of nerves, you rested your forehead against Shouto's shoulders, tears from the pleasure mixing in with the subjacent agony of your guilt. 
Why did it have to feel so good? And how far did the drugs truly affect you? Or had they just peeled back your inhibitions perhaps, baring you until all you had were dark desires and no self-control to contain them. 
You still tasted blood inside your mouth when your walls started clenching around his cock, the coppery flavor entirely too vivid on your tongue. Hearing his own choked groans gasping against your chest, you felt his mouth abandoning your bud with a pop before his kisses were trailing a path back up—eager in their search of your face, your lips. 
You were still cumming by the time a lascivious kiss connected you two again, unwinding in his grasp until his hands were the only thing keeping you whole. 
“Even if I wasn't taught how,” he began promising while his rhythm grew frantic, barely resisting the allure of your core fluttering around him. “I promise I’ll love you, Y/N. Love you so good, you won’t ever want to leave when the next Purge comes.” He was getting increasingly excited by his own words, imagining a future where you did not need the aid of a little cup of tea to eagerly kiss back. “I’ll fuck you every day, fill you up and show you just how much I care. How much you matter.”
Faced with his degenerate promises, all you could do was gasp out his name one last time, perhaps seeking to express your reticence, perhaps oddly excited by the image he was painting. 
You indulged him in the pitiful sound of your whimpers molding around its syllables, and it wasn’t long before you were coaxing him to join you with an orgasm of his own.
He actually came inside, you recognized inwardly after the aftershocks of enjoyment now quieted down to a lull, a new type of dread quickly following the realization. His cum was still shooting in hot ropes, stuffing you to the brim with the intent and purpose of a man bent on marking you, owning you.
But Shouto was so loving as he kissed you time and time again, painfully reminding you of just how nice he could be for you, how gentle and attentive. It made the lines between your tormentor and a traditional lover blur even further, the confusion clouding your sense not merely born out of narcotics any longer. 
You had been so preoccupied with a monster outside your house once. A creature ripped from the kind of movies that were ripe with cheap scares and considerably cheaper thrills. 
But monsters never were like that in real life, were they? As the man continued to cradle you in his arms like the most vulnerable of creatures, you were suddenly struck by how glaringly obvious things should’ve been from the beginning. 
Because your Yandere’s obsession had not come with claws and a row of sharp teeth. No, it came instead with a suit of deception to hug its frame, the bait of acceptance, and the promise of a reliable ear to comfortably listen. It arrived with whispers that assured you that you were not alone, that it was not you who was flawed, but the world for not welcoming you. 
It dangled everything your little heart desired, so by the time you were reaching out, you were simply too distracted to notice the dangers of the abyss you were throwing yourself at.
Luckily for you, Shouto had made such a void his home. And for however long it took you to consider the darkness as your own, his was a kind of hospitality that no amount of your struggles could ever hope to wear down. 
And if the worst came to pass, if you kept stubbornly refusing and fighting despite your odds? Well…
   He could always brew you another cup of tea.
-------
Well, I can finally rest now 💀
This monster of a one-shot took me a lot longer than expected, so I ended up being a lil later to the collab that I would’ve liked. Either way, I’d really appreciate hearing any feedback or opinions on either the fic or art (or both?)... I swear that’s what keeps me motivated ;___; 
So fr, thanks to everyone who takes the time to let me know your takes! y’all are the bests of the best 🖤 And speaking of bests of best, special thanks and gratitude to the actual angels who helped and gave me feedback for both the art and/or fic @reinawritesbnha , @drxwsyni​, @wootato, @snappysnapo and @coyambition. Don’t catch me seeing y’all drop your crowns bc it’s on sight  😠 👑
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yeojaa · 4 years ago
Text
ANGELS & AIRWAVES (w. jjk)
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He's never met you but you know how he sounds when he wakes up from a nap and his greatest fears.  You know the way he sings after a shower and that he could be mistaken for a dying seal when he's laughing too hard.  The best part?  You don't judge him for any of it - including the fact he's a filthy Widow main.  He might just love you.
alt summary.  Jeon Jungkook has a big fat crush on a girl he's never met.
pairing.  jeon jungkook
genre + rating.  fluffy crack. general, for now.
warning / tags.  long-distance relationship, crushes, canon compliant (ish),  eventual happy ending, gaming, gamer!jungkook, strangers to lovers, friends to lovers, overwatch.  tags are hard.  :( 
reading.   n/a.  a three part one-shot.
word count.  ~3400
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part i.
JUNGKOOK’S ROOM Sunday, 10 November, 2019.  2:13 AM.
It’s 2:13 AM when Jeon Jungkook finally finds a match, the familiar in-game sound dragging his attention away from the illuminated screen of his iPhone to the monitor before him.  He studies the SR - 3779 and 3761, respectively - and skims burning eyes across the members on each team.  Four rocks, including himself, and two Masters.
One of them has a strange name - BIGMELON - that he stares at until he's zoning out, trying to make sense of it.  Was his teammate a pervert or just hilarious?
"Good luck and have fun, everyone!"  
Your cheer filters through his headphones crystal clear but he's somehow still surprised, head tilting curiously to the side.  He hadn't expected a girl to be playing Overwatch at quarter past two in the morning.
When there's no response - he notices no one else is in the voice chat, an oddity for such a high ranking game - he takes it upon himself to keep you company.  His username lights up as his finger glides across the ALT key, sleep-worn words breaking the silence.
"Thanks, you too."
Nothing follows until BIGMELON appears once again in the upper left-hand corner of his screen.  You have a nice voice, he thinks.  "Are you sticking with Widow?"
Jungkook takes in the team comp:  Sigma, Hog, Genji, and Lucio.  A little unconventional but not wholly un-doable.  They're on King's Row, too, which is one of his favourite maps.  Balanced enough that people aren't too salty when they get headshot but with enough coverage that he can get clear picks.  
"Should I?"
"If you want."  A pause and your hero slot is filled with Mercy's portrait.  "I can damage boost."
He thinks he can hear the teasing.  It's soft and sweet and a little rough - like you'd just woken up.  
"Who says I need it?"  Comes his immediate response, question chased out of his mouth by a laugh he can't help.  It echoes, filling the quiet of his bedroom.  He hopes you don't take it the wrong way.
"O—kay, Widow main.  We'll see if you get anything from me."
It's an empty threat because you're giggling along with him.  It's distracting in the strangest way.  The sound bounces around in his ears and he can't help but focus on it, realizing belatedly that he's still sitting in spawn as the timer runs down for setting up defence.  
"Are you going to join us?"  You quip, emoting right beside his stationary sniper.  "I didn't queue just to have someone go AFK."  
Mischief colours your words and he laughs again, snorting as he finally presses W.  Two sets of footsteps echo in game and he presses SHIFT once he's hit point - and with just a few seconds left to spare - launching Widowmaker's body onto the balcony overwatching it.  Mercy follows, Guardian Angel carrying her into the air to alight behind the blue-skinned hero.  
As the timer hits 0:01, Jungkook right-clicks, scoping in on the second-floor spawn door.
BOOM.
The kill feed reads DDEOKKOOKI x STRIKER007.
"I guess you didn't need the damage boost."  
He can't help the sound he makes - a marriage between a witch's shriek and a pig's snort.  It leaps out of his mouth, louder than he intends, and he feels equally bad for you and his hyungs.  He's definitely going to get an earful in the morning - or any minute now, when one of them bursts into his room to berate him for being so loud.  "I told you."
"Yeah, yeah."  The way you speak has him grinning from ear to ear, nose scrunching in amusement.  Mercy is flying across the map, healing stream trained on Genji as the cyborg ninja just narrowly misses an errant Hanzo arrow and dashes back to point.  "I'm gonna take care of the rest of our team.  Let me know if you need anything, O' Headshot God."
You're clowning him hard but he knows it's all in good fun.  Still, he likes the nickname and decides to keep it, effectively picking off the attacking team's stealthily half-hidden Junkrat and Ana right after. 
"Show-off!"   
Then he's dinked in the head - health dropping to 30 from the partially-charged shot.  He needs heals like yesterday.
Unfortunately, Lucio is up at choke with the tanks, skating circles around the base of the statue as they hold point.  Jungkook doesn't see you immediately - he’s scanning his screen for your witch skin (of course) - only realizing you've appeared at his side when his health bar begins to climb.  "Try to stay alive, yeah?"
"My bad,"  he drawls, scoping in the same instant the kill feed announces two more enemy deaths. 
There are only a critical Reinhardt and protected Zarya left.  The former falls the moment he drops shield and her bubble doesn't reset in time;  the Russian tank dies in the next instant, his charged shot firing the moment it hits 100%.  
"Thanks for the damage boost."
"Any time."
Then you're gone, off to support the rest of your team again while he grapples onto a different ledge and continues his oppressive gameplay.  He feels a little bad when the opposing team goes double shield tank and swaps their Junkrat for a Pharah.  He feels less so when he's slept out of nowhere. Four seconds feels like an eternity when he’s out in the open - vulnerable as a baby lamb in a den of lions.
"Looks like you're really making them mad."  You'd been relatively quiet when not tending to him - likely because it was only the two of you in voice chat - and he startles when your comment breaks the quiet lofi he has going in the background. 
"I don't know why.  I'm just having fun."  He's lying.  You're laughing.  
"Too much fun, I think."  
"Maybe they should be better."  Jungkook says this like he's commenting on the weather or the colour of the sky - offhand and nonchalant.  It makes your giggles come harder.  He can hear the scratch of your mic as if you've doubled over and it's now pressed into cotton clothing.  He can't help but pat himself on the back.
"Please don't tell me you're going to 'gg ez' them when we're done."
Now he's feigned offense, gasping at the mere thought.  "Of course not.  I'm not that rude!"
"Well, you never know."  You're right.  People could be the worst when it came to online gaming, spewing vitriol and hurling insults the moment their egos were bruised (or inflated). 
"I promise I'm not an asshole."  He's not really sure why he feels the need to make this abundantly clear.  After all, he'd probably never play with you again.  Korea's density of players was just too great - you were just one in hundreds, thousands, millions. 
Still, he smiles when you reassure him you don't think he is.  "I'm just teasing.  You seem nice."
"I am nice."  Spoken in the same instance he lands two consecutive headshots - one on the bouncing, wall-riding enemy Lucio and the other on the momentarily grounded Pharah.  You must see that, because you're mocking him in that dulcet tone of yours, caramel coating words and turning them soft like toffee. 
"Not according to them."  And not that you mind, it seems, because you're damage boosting him as he catches their out-of-position Rein in his sight.  He whoops in triumph, eliciting another bemused sound from you. 
"You know they're going to do everything to counter you when we go on attack."  Which was in sub-one minute, the timer counting down the last thirty seconds of your team's defense. 
"Who says I'm going Widow again?"  
You're scandalized.  "You mean you're not just a filthy Widow main?"
For a moment, Jungkook wonders if this is how his older members feel when he (and Jimin and Taehyung) mercilessly rib them.  He thinks it must be and oh, how the tables have turned.  He decides he doesn't really mind, though.  It's all innocent fun and it's keeping him awake, aided by the cold brew he'd chugged at midnight. 
"Woah - says the Mercy player?"
"Mercy is a respectable support, okay!"
"Sure, e-girl."  
"Take that back!"  How the words explode out of his headphones makes him momentarily worry he might've overstepped but by the way your laughter chases it forward, he knows he hasn't.  You can take it just as well as you can dish it.  
"Okay, okay.  You're a not bad healer."  Because he hasn't died yet and last he checked, neither had your tanks.  Genji had once or twice - to be expected, given his playstyle - and you had, but that was still pretty respectable.
He can practically hear you rolling your eyes.  "Oh, thanks."  
"Any time, BigMelon."  
"That's ‘daebak’ to you, pal."  Had he heard you wrong?
"What'd you say?"  
There's a long pause - he's not sure whether it's for comedic purpose or something else.  You sound muffled on the other end, as if you're repressing sound.  "Because watermelon?  Su-bak?  So big melon is dae-bak?"  Whatever you had stifled earlier disappears, torn away by the pride that shines bright yellow and boisterous in your peals of laughter.
It's such a bad joke that Jungkook feels like he's about to have an aneurysm.  Were you Jin moonlighting as a Master support player? 
"You're kidding me."  He wonders if you hear him above your own glee, giggles making it hard for him to hear himself think.  "What're you - a dad?"
You scoff now, parroting his words back to him.  "What're you - the pun police?"  
Another one?
He briefly considers ALT + F4-ing his way out of this match and away from your corniness.  Considers it but ultimately decides against it, instead remaining stoically silent and choosing McCree when the hero selection screen slides into place.  His silence will surely speak volumes.  
"You know that was funny!"  By the way he can practically hear your pout - it's endearing, much to his chagrin - he thinks you know where he stands.  
"Not the word I'd use."
"You just have bad taste, McCree."  You say it scathingly yet full of mirth, a sniff punctuating the end of your rebuttal. 
"Do not!"  He returns, just as quickly.  
"Prove it.  Laugh at my joke!"  You're shameless, confident, reassured - it makes him chuckle.  
You take it as his surrender though, your own laughter blending seamlessly with his.  It goes on for longer than is strictly speaking necessary, crowding like cotton balls in his ears as you leave sprays of your hero - Ana this time - across the spawn walls.  He wrecks every one of yours with his own, BAMF displayed in 1440p. 
"Hey - stop that!"  It doesn't matter that the round is about to start - you're spamming your melee button into him.  He immediately does it back, toggling between that and his voice line. 
The rest of your team is probably wondering what the hell you're both doing.  
"Stop distracting me!"  He barks into his mic, deep dimples on full display, nose scrunched adorably.  He doesn't really mind - it's clear by his hyena cackles that follow - and he likes when your chorus of shut up's pitch and leap with your giggling. 
As he navigates McCree out behind your tanks, he can't help but wish - maybe a little selfishly - that they'll lose this round and go into a best of three.  When the opposing team's healers both die - one to Ashe's dynamite and the other to Zarya's high-charged beam - he knows that's not going to happen.  Your team's going to cap point and then you're going to be gone - off to the next game and never to be matched with again.
"We did it, McCree."  You sound deeply pleased as the last of the defenders fall, leaving point uncontested.  The Lucio on your team lingers by the choke, ready to boop any last minute hoodlums;  Echo hovers just above the enemy’s spawn, dealing damage the moment any hero comes in view.  One of your tanks is already emoting.
VICTORY flashes across his screen.  
"We sure did, BigMelon."
The cards come next - they're all for your team, though he isn't surprised.  You'd gotten 37 defensive assists whereas he had 27% Infra-Sight uptime.  He's sure you both vote for each other, the remaining four going to your other support's Sound Barrier casts.  
"Thanks for the carry."  He doesn't mean it facetiously.  This is some of the most fun he's had in-game in ages.
"You're welcome,"  you chirp.  He thinks you'll leave right after.
Instead, you both sit in voice chat in silence, watching the timer in the upper right-hand corner. 
"Do you want to duo?"  You ask in the same instance he does, breaking the both of you into a fit of laughter.  It's more distracting than he realizes, the FINDING MATCH countdown replacing the end game statistics while you’re both still cackling.
Luckily, you invite him to a group right as he removes himself from queue.
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JUNGKOOK’S ROOM Tuesday, 24 December, 2019.  11 PM.
It’s six weeks and a good three dozen games later - a feat for him, considering how much of his time is eaten up by literally every other obligation he has - when he asks for your name, not realizing the consequences of his action.  
“Most people call me Jinny.”  He thinks it fits you, bright and pretty and punchy.  “What’s your name?”
Jungkook's unprepared for the question, though he shouldn’t be.  Of course you’d want to know.  Anyone would, if they’d already given their own answer.
He's silent for the longest time, quiet stretching on and on over group voice chat.  He applauds you for your patience, how you don't press him on it when the hesitation has descended from appropriate to downright awkward.
"Uh."  The word drops like a weight, crashing through the tentative friendship you've built over the past weeks.  
"You don't have to tell me,"  you supply as softly as he's ever heard you.  It's the first time you've seemed uncertain - and it bothers him that he's the reason.  "I get that we haven't known each other that long."  
As if that's actually the issue.  He would've told you the night you spent four hours together, taking wins left and right, filling the time in between matches with silly banter that had his jaw aching from laughter.  He would’ve told you on that random Thursday, when you’d listened to him talk about his busy day, effortlessly keeping him occupied - and amused - while your SR nearly descended below 3500.  He would’ve even told you yesterday, when you’d said you were going to bed, only to be roped into another six games by Jungkook’s eagerness.
It has absolutely nothing to do with time - or the lack thereof.
But he can't say that - can't tell you who he really is - so he improvises as best he can.  "My friends call me Jay."
"Jay, huh?"  You turn the sound over on your tongue, like you're tasting it for the first time, trying to decide whether you love it or hate it.  He hopes you don’t hate it.  "Then I guess we're the best J-duo to ever exist."
"Woah, we?"  He's only doing it to rile you up, finding it cute when you huff and puff and threaten to let him die in-game.  You never make good on the threat anyway;  you just like to see him sweat, watching as his health bar drops to measly single digits.  "I don't think I agreed to that."  
It's your turn to mock him, that same edge turning your words into sour candy.  "Fine.  You can find yourself a new healer.  We'll see how your SR likes that, Bronzie boy!"  
Neither of you really take the game that seriously but he gasps like he's been shot.  
"No!  Don't leave me with them!"  The way he howls the plea is enough to return you both to your rightful place - one filled with boisterous laughter and things he never thought would see the light of day.
Because somehow, he's found somewhere he feels safe - a place he feels like himself, with no pretenses or expectations.  It’s where he can rant and rave, bouncing from topic to topic like an energizer bunny with no end in sight.  It’s, oddly enough, with you.  
Connected through voice chat and built by an endless stream of communication - sometimes productive, other times not - the space you’ve carved out together has come to feel like a third home.  It isn’t quite what he has with his family or his members but it’s just as nice.
Different, but nice.
"Fine.  You're forgiven."  You sniff in that peculiar way of yours and he snickers loudly.  "How was your day?"
And this is why it is - because it's ordinary.  It’s where Jungkook can rest his head and drift for a while without worry of what’s over the horizon, ready to swallow him whole the moment he takes his eyes off the calm blue sea.  He's not raised on a pedestal with you, all the weight of his choices resting on his shoulders.  He's just a normal guy playing games.  
It might not make up for all the years of normalcy he's missed out on - the movies after school, the street markets on weekends, the holiday parties with classmates - but it's enough.  
He eats it up like he's been starved of it.
"Busy.  Really busy.  I had dance practice all afternoon and forgot to eat so I'm dying now."  There'd been a time - about three weeks in - when he'd chosen his words more carefully.  He'd been worried he might let something slip but he's found what feels like the sweet spot now, where he can tell you about his day without thinking he’ll suddenly shatter the image you have of him.
It's not always easy - he has to remember to never mention names or intimate details - but it's better than nothing.  He can finally tell someone about his day like he wants - all of the good and the bad, too.
"You should make something to eat!"
He's used to your reprimands but he still laughs, crossing his long legs beneath him as he readjusts in his computer chair.  "But we're in queue."
"Jay!"  It comes out devoid of static, clear as the waning sunshine that filters through his blinds and reflects particles of dust that drift lazily through his bedroom.
"I'll make something after we win."  He knows what you're thinking - that he's gone and jinxed your whole night.  You’re weirdly superstitious, something he's learned only recently.
As if right on cue:  "Shut up!"  
Your words sweep his expression up with glee and giddiness, like a kid on Christmas morning;  lines dig themselves into the bridge of his nose and the delicate skin beneath his eyes.  Jungkook tells himself it’s the usual pre-game jitters but he knows it’s more than that.  
It’s you and that infectious giggle that careens through his headphones, making him see everything in a pretty haze of warmth.
He’s not sure when you’d started having this particular effect on him - maybe since the beginning? - but he feels it now, clearer than ever.  Every tinkling laugh makes his heart speed up, thump around his chest like a baseball missing its mark.  The sight of you logging in elicits the biggest, possibly dorkiest smile, all slightly too-big front teeth and deep dimples.  You have him rushing through his post-practice showers and devouring dinner in half the time he usually would just to get online a minute more quickly.  
There's just something about you. 
And sure - a part of him wonders whether it's all in his head (as if it could be anywhere else).  Wonders if he's seeing you through rose-tinted glasses, doing to you what so many do to him.  Was he in over his head, praying to a deity that didn't even know he existed?  
Sometimes it felt that way - a little out of reach, like childhood crushes and summer love and wishing upon a star.  Certainly far too much for a blossoming friendship of just a month and a half.  
But then you laugh and it's Pop Rocks fizzling in his stomach and he knows that no - it's there and it's real.
Jeon Jungkook has a big fat crush on a girl he's never met. 
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notes.  i love overwatch and i love jeon jeongguk.  what more can i say?  :)
1K notes · View notes
savnofilter · 5 years ago
Note
I think you're hilarious in such a good way and Im new to Tumblr. Your work is amzing and i was wondering if you have any bnha blog recommendations or must read fics?
WARNING! this gets long as SHIT. so im sorry. im on mobile so liek,, also there are shit ton of amazing writers on here but my memory has been terrible as of recently, so sorry about that. all the people mentioned have really good fics so going through their masterlist is the bes option i have on here for you!! also sorry this was so late, i did a lot of username checking and now finally got the balls to post this with their @s cnuidwneovn- also!! be mindful because i was iffy in tagging some because i wasnt too sure if they wrote for bnha anymore. so w/o further adieu!!!now for my fave ao3 fics (with no ranking)~
His Tryanny by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: fantasy
summary: “Deep in a land just like in the fairy tales, lives 4 different kingdoms. But when a hot headed king of one kingdom wants to take over, he seeks for more power. A girl locked away in a tower for her entire life because of her forbidden power, finds a new life when an ash blonde male comes flying through her window. How will their life play out?”
my thoughts: FUCKINGT AMAZING BOOK LIKE I FUCKING STAN. TT its so fucking good! the angst, the tension, angry bloody bakugo?! fucking check! amazing book!! 12/10 will always recommend. mc will say “million reasons” i be like “his tyranny tho, 👀” (and other books but we have to appreciate my highness rq).
completed: yis!
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My Angel by goodboysensei (tumblr; @tobobio)
au: greek mythology
summary: “The infamous fallen angel, serving under Hades (AFO), Bakugou Katsuki, was known for constantly wreaking havoc within heaven. Defying against God and other deities, he was blacklisted from Heaven. (l/n) (y/n) being an elite archangel under Athena (Miruko), is set on a mission to rid of Bakugou Katsuki but takes a 180 when you sudden began developing feelings for the crooked angel during the confrontation – him reciprocating the feelings. Though relationships between a worker of God and a demon was the greatest sin, and faced consequences to those who are caught. ~ Having to sneak around and hide your relationship with the fallen angel how would an archangel keep her status under God while simultaneously keeping an accursed romantic affair.(sorry i suck at summaries lmao)”
my thoughts: you know, i just have a craving to live a life in greekish-mythologyish and reading lore of olympus makes it partly redeemed. but this takes the cake. LIKE?! oh my fucking god! absoluetely love and im still reading it cause im slow asf but its so good so far! and she doesnt at all, the summaries are what got me interested!!
completed: neh~
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I’m Broken Too (Shigaraki x Reader x Dabi) by Kikyo851 (quotev; kikyo851/tumblr; @heroes-among-us-all)
au: canon
summary: “What’s a girl to do when she can’t quite make it as a hero? Become a villain, of course.”
my thoughts: okay so youre thinking, “that summary is short asf” but godtdamn the book is motherfucking good dawg. lieke,,, this absolutely fueled my villain spark way back whenever. (you can gladly thank this book and all the dabi fics from @lord-explosion-baku, who also has a book called “thorns” which is also on ao3. i havent read it because im not into that au but it has many good reviews!!)
completed: neh~
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Million Reasons by Chub_Rye (other socials; not listed)
au: future canon (?)
summary: “This is not a happy story, you really wished it was but how can it be when your marriage is falling apart. You truly love your husband, the thing is…he doesn’t seem to feel the same anymore ((Trigger warning: this is a very emotional heavy story, you have been warned.)) Inspiration: Million Reasons by Lady Gaga”
my thoughts: 
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*if i had the time i would edit to: “im fucking sobbing fam”* because this shit hurtedt. like, HURTEDT. this book, this very book is the reason why fucking katsuki fucking bakugo slapped down the damn rankings on my list. didnt fucking like him for like two weeks, just thinking about him made me mad as FUCK. but its written so good i cant be mad?! i… okay moving on before i start crying and listing reasons why katsuki needs to CHOKE in this damn book. also if you dislike deku then this story will change. you.
completed: neh~
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Muted by HecateSG (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “A collection of short one-shot stories where the reader has lost the ability to speak due to an incident that ranges from accident, to intentional, which now leaves you in the care of at least one of this dashing and intrepid cast of characters. There will be a variety of scenario’s explored and kinks touched upon for all you curious depraved little ones. ~ The only thing these all have in common is that the Reader will remain almost exclusively quiet the entire time ~ The tags will be updated as more chapters are released.”
my thoughts: this is a one-shot book (no cohesive storyline unless chosen) but its so good. so good. i thought shigaraki, dabi and all might in one book was interesting but never the less, super good! i never was interested in the mute concept but its written good? (but thinking about it all the other mute!reader fics are good but they wont nsfw so it didnt interest me-) furthermore, its so good. so pure. so hot. 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Nightclub AU by sour_pink29 (tumblr; @heros-amoung-us)
au: well… nightclub
summary: “U.A. is the most prestigious and well known nightclub in the world. It takes a high price and a creditable reputation to attend the club, but only because it makes your wildest dreams and fantasies come true. The workers are the best of the best: the 1A class; with the sexiest dancers, flirtatious waitresses and waiters, master bartenders, and high class security. It’s truly no wonder why the rich and famous travel from all corners of the world to have one special night at U.A. ~ As a waitress at the club, you were used to dealing with rich, handsome, high maintenance bachelors. But when 6 mysterious men enter the club and your life, you feel something different spark between you and them as they turn your life on it’s head. For better or for worse… ~ AU where you and the 1A class (and some other characters) are workers at the club. Kaminari, Kirishima, Katsuki, Shoto, Tetsu, Izuku, and Sero are all competing for your attention. ~ WILL INCLUDE NSFW IN SOME CHAPTERS ;)”
my thoughts: THGIS BOOK FUCKIN SLAPS. HANDS DOWN WOULD TOOT MY ASS UP FOR THIS! (thought about dropping my studies and just fucking doing stripper work-) like wow… its a good book and the writer was prob one of the first wirters i followed on here?! (thats if tumblr didnt fucking remove my damn following like it usually does. ._.) enough about that, its really good. i think about it often.
completed: neh~
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Plus Ultra! One-shots and Requests by MistressPikachu (FinalVolition) [tumblr; @adelheidvonschicksal]
au: varies
summary: “A place to store all my smaller drabbles for BNHA. NSFW and SFW requests CLOSED!”
my thoughts: um so she write for *everything* but not like everything, everything. so sometimes it be like a red flag so make sure you are reading it carefully on the story you click on! personally, since theyre a good asf writer i usually dip my toe in all of them but sometimes i just cant but the ones i can, i read over and over and over again. worth a million reads tbh. 12/10 would recommend if youre nasty like that (and i KNOW you guys are).
completed: neh~
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slutty one shots by cherrykwrites (tumblr; @cherrykwrites)
au: varies
summary: “Collection of some slutty short scenarios. Mostly Bakugo, could include other characters too. ~ Everything will be NSFW in this collection. ~ Themes like non con, underage, alcohol, bdsm, daddy kinks, ect could occur in these writings. ~ These are purely works of fiction and do not reflect reality, I do NOT condone any of the immoral actions written in these.”
my thoughts: so of course i could not leave the og, the real home slice, cherry-mother-k-fuckin-writes- CAN WE CLAP FOR THE QUEEN? so essentially, her shit is good asf. you should read it cause its good asf. shes not around that much but she def is really good! (also has my thinking about writing some tattoo artist!bakugo these days, or even a series for my husbandos…). never thought about sandwhiched between kirishima and bakugo until i came across her fics~
completed: neh~
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Euphoria - NSFW Series by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: varies
summary: “Just a bunch of BNHA characters involved in several different kinks with you. ~ Summary of first chapter: ~ “Katsuki…”That mewl you made was hard to hear but somehow it reached Midoriya’s ears and he gulped as he saw said man standing up from the ground in front of you. A smirk as wide as it can be with his tongue brushing the corners of his mouth as if he just finished eating the best meal of his life.————————- Basically, Midoriya is in for a emotional ride lol”
my thoughts: they are such a good writer. another one-shots book but they will appear once again on the list but this book is just beautiful. and im a perv. so. have fun.
comepleted: neh~
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⚠️okay so this is a series of fics from one writer, but instead of making a shit ton on the list (because if this isnt long already) its by the user QuillMind (tumblr; @quillmind) here are some of my faves:⚠️
Incendiary ~ a/b/o, “Mating season has come yet again. Bakugou has even more trouble controlling it than in previous years… and it’s all your fault.”
Mating Hunt ~ a/b/o, “You and Bakugou have been together for some time. Though you both know you only want each other, your bond won’t truly be permanent and known to all until he claims you during mating season. And as impatient as Bakugou is, as an Alpha, he loves a good chase. You decide to give him one.”
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Story Time - A Reader x BNHA Multific by WhenSarahSmiles (tumblr; @makethiscanon)
au: fairytale/storybook/canon-ish
summary: “Whilst fighting a powerful villain, you find yourself sucked into the world their quirk created with no memories of your old life. Yet, the men you meet along the way have a familiar feel to them. Perhaps they can help you unlock your memories? ~ A Hero Academia/Fairy Tale mash up, there’s plenty of chaos to follow even if you think you know the classic stories well. ~ [Warning: Explicit Content from chapter 3 onwards] ~ [I will warn you which chapter features the non-con]] ~ “
-> Story one: Little Red Riding Hood (Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)-> Story two: The Little Mermaid (Shouto Todoroki x Reader)-> Story three: Jack and the Beanstalk (Eijirou Kirishima x Reader)-> Story four: The Three Little Pigs (Denki Kaminari x Reader)-> Story five: Sleeping Beauty (Shouto Todoroki x Reader x Katsuki Bakugou)-> Story six: Snow White and the Seven Dwarves (Midoriya, Tokoyami, Sero, Monoma, Ojiro, Shinsou x Reader)
my thoughts: bitch i have no thoughts. i only have THOTS. this is a masterpiece, like ive been lacking, the one im on rn is the kirishima one and it worth the read, and i bet the ones after that have been just as amazing! amazing work 11/10 would recommend.
completed: neh~
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Wolves Among Us (Mini Series) by NekokoaFanfiction (tumblr; @nekokoafanfictions)
au: fantasy
summary: “Something about watching him lick your chilled skin was stirring something within you. Your legs started to shiver, but not of the cold that surrounded your slightly exposed body but of a feeling blossoming in the inner regions of your lower stomach. You were getting lost in the rhythm of his pants, wandering in the hazy want of his intense eyes. Your breath began to tremble, and you tried to squeeze your legs together to withstand the odd sensation growing, but he held your leg still and showed no signs of letting go. You were suddenly aware of his hand on your lower thigh, and you noticed that it was the first time a man’s hand had touched there. ~ You were a flower that had yet to bloom in the late of spring. Pure, untouched and suddenly, bombarded with desires. You never shivered in the way a man could make you, and curiosity—maybe naivety, was keeping you from your fear of the beast. —————– Basically, you fall in love with a rude wolf man. ~ Mini series!! Werewolf!Bakugo x Human!Reader, Fantasy AU ~ Inspired by The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter”
my thoughts: i ride this books ASS for updates. my favourite bakugo au’s are fantasy (wit da dragoons) and were!katsuki (haluween). i fucking love it, i love their works. theyre busy with school (like i should be but scholars are all different-) trust me its so good. it has that good spice that make fill my heart with sexy uwuwuwuwuwuwuwus. love it.
completed: neh~
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Katsuki Bakugo Scenario Collection by Hvalross (tumblr; @cutesuki–bakugou)
au: varies
summary: “A collection of oneshots and scenarios I’ve done for Bakugou, both personal works and requests on my blog Cutesuki-Bakugou. ~ Please note that the rating of each story will be in the notes of the chapter. Stories range from TEEN to EXPLICIT.”
my thoughts: oh my god. i reread this one chap over and over and over and over and over and over- and over again. the stories range from cute to just good smut and its so good. so beautifully written. and i cant help but just appreciate it. love it sm. (also sorry if i tagged the wrong tumblr im confsued as to which one you use ahaha)
completed: neh~
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Wish the World Away by hoshigalaxy (other socials; not listed)
au: canon
summary: “bakugou katsuki is the number one hero. but with this title comes a huge target on his back. sometimes it’s better to stay single when you’re a pro hero. there could be accidents. ~ but that’s three years in the past now and bakugou is slowly moving on from what’s happened. that is until he runs into his mysterious new neighbour and things get complicated again.”
my thoughts: ;-; this one hits different. almost like a million reasons type of different. i dont want to spoil it but godt damn man. there is so much to be uncovered but it really hasnt been updated. (cri) its a beautiful book tho. fingers crossed for when it updates next.
completed: neh :
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Up in Smoke. (Soulmate AU) by Grapelimeade (tumblr; @gojirabbit)
au: well,, soulmate
summary: “Bakugou doesn’t want a fucking soulmate.”
my thoughts: may i say…it is such a stark contrast to Million Reasons. it is so fucking captivating i will not shit you. this book, is amazing. im just saying, that midoriya scene tho,, 👀 that kirishima friendship,, 💪🏽 its so good…? got me panting for the next chap (and no not like that weirdos but there is nsfw because when tf do you catch me reading a fic without nsfw…?) but i recommend. mc: million reasons tho me: up in smoke tho-
completed: neh~
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Vermilion by Morgana_Ren (tumblr; @morgana-ren)
au: canon
summary: “Tomura Shigaraki had a goal. It started out simple enough. Kill All Might, and watch the society that revered heroes above all else crumble to dust alongside their idol. However, what originally starts off as a chance encounter with a UA student during the battle of USJ sends him reeling down the crooked path of obsession.”
my thoughts: its just…? my shigaraki thirst was sparked from this very story. it good, supplies my shifty hands needs and it suffices the boiling lust in my clit. wish we’d see more cause i love it already and it blends the story line well. love it. 11/10
completed: neh~
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words hurt [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader] by QueenExplosionMurder (tumblr; @strawberryandspiceandchocolate)
au: canon
summary: “*more tags to be added* ~ when Bakugo Katsuki friendzones the reader, their friendship takes a nose dive off of the face of the earth and he doesn’t hear from her for a while. that is until she is suddenly thrown back into his life, quite literally actually…”
my thoughts: well you think i can go a post without tagging my president? youre fucking wrong. i have actually posted my own prev of her book which you can find here. i am just astonished at well the mood is (because tb when all i would talk about is mood) because mood is just good. it doesnt seem cliche to me. cant wait until the next update.
completed: neh~
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You and Yamada by Jo_Rutherford_Lee (other socials; not listed)
au: varies
summary: “Just a few short Present Mic/Reader PWPs I needed to get out of my head.”
my thoughts:
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i love this book. couldnt find the yamada book i was looking for but i would be lying if this doesnt revive my yamada love every once in awhile. (jk i found the book but this one is really cute and a quick read!!)
completed: yis
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Singed Rose Petals: (Alpha) Dabi x (Omega) Reader by Smutsy (other socials; not listed)
au: a/b/o
summary: ““The villains were always ugly in books and movies. Necessarily so, it seemed. Because if they were attractive - if their looks matched their charm and their cunning - they wouldn’t only be dangerous. They would be irresistible.” - Nenia Campbell”
my thoughts: ohhhh because you guys thought that i’d go through a post without mentioning dabi? LOL so,, this book has brought many many many happy coochie tingles to me. i would murder to be dabi’s omega. and DAS on baby. never was really interested in a/b/o stuff till i read this. love it so much 11/10.
completed: yis
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special mentions:
BNHA Brothel by orphan_account [multiple, unfinished]
Hero Killer’s Charge by VulcanCaptain [stain x reader, unfinished]
Mouth Moods by Koalolive (twitter; renlup) [present mic, unfinished]
and god please dont fucking roast me i had a hawks faze. Birb Office for Birbs by insanityrunsinthe_family
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cl0wnapologist · 4 years ago
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lets get personal (but im answering now 4 funsies)
i wanted to make a question tag but feral and this is what i came up with. tag ur friends, tag ur enemies, but most importantly give me a kiss at ur earliest convenience.
1. say hi! :D (name/age/pronouns)
molly and 20 and she/her but i do not care if i am referred to w they/them pronouns either. i identify v strongly w femininity and also feel like a woman but also gender is not real and was invented by gender companies to sell more gender (and limiting something so complex to a binary scale is silly)!
2. what’s your venus sign? <3
pisces </3 absolutely disgusting the way i gobble up a mere whiff of romance
3. would you rather people perceive you as the person you present to the world or your true self? are they the same?
person i present as i guess bc if i wanted to be seen as my true self then they would be the same :) but! i think they are merging more and more everyday.  
4. what do you prioritize in your relationships—how well someone treats you or how much you like them?
i think how well someone treats me. i like most people! so ive tried to prioritize healthy and loving relationships more recently.
5. what’s the most embarrassing fanfic you’ve ever read?
during a manic episode a couple months ago i logged on here very briefly for the first time in years and it happened to be when the supernatural finale came out. i have never seen a single episode, scene, or even a clip of supernatural and know nothing about it. but a famous 100k word spn fanfic came on my dash and i read the whole thing. whole time had no idea what actor played dean and what actor played castiel. still dont know which one goes to which. thats not my business.
6. would you rather be fluent in every language or a master of every instrument? if you could only pick one of each what would it be?
language! but one of each would be french and piano :^)
7. share some of your favorite characters!
mr. darcy, grendel, pompey the clown and isabella from measure for measure, hinata from haikyuu!!, ash from banana fish, tamaki from ouran, lisa from my cousin vinny, any lesbian
8. what’s a niche interest/subject you could write a 12-page essay on?
food politics! origin of certain dishes and how every dish is a product of class, either being creative with very little or flaunting an excess of. even the method used to make different things have different meanings!
9. what are you missing the most right now?
my friends :) !
10. hottest non-human animated character? (ex. zootopia fox, ryuk from death note, aunt fanny from robots)
raven from teen titans and robin hood
11. share some of your old urls/handles/usernames (i’m looking at u, 1D insta with 70 followers from 2013)
this used to be shampainmarina which was cute; before it was marinas-supermodels-legs which was less cute and pretentiously niche of me.  oneband1dreamoned when i was 11
12. what’s a favorite physical feature of yourself? what are some favorite physical features of your friends/loved ones?
i like my eye color bc its the same as my mommy’s. jills u have the prettiest smile and freckles <3 and alyssa u have the most striking eyes :o
13. what’s a favorite personality trait of yours? of your friends/loved ones?
i like my sense of humor and being kind ! jill i think u r vey adventurous and creative and alyssa u r very dedicated and passionate ab a lot of stuff. all of my friends r funny and kind too those r staples
14. describe a recent time someone made you feel loved/valued
my mom giving me a hug and  telling me that things will be ok when i was upset a few days ago, and making soup w me the next day :)
15. what’s the most embarrassing character you’ve been attracted to?
maybe jimmy neutron mom? or teapot from beauty and the beast idk slim pickings for 6 y/o me
16. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (complimentary)
made frog cakes w fellow queers @the-bean-god @veganmilf
17. gayest thing you’ve done recently? (derogatory)
listened to man or a muppet in the dark in an empty bathtub about an hour ago 
18. what are your comfort movies/shows/books/foods?
movie is a tie between ponyo, coraline, and baz luhrmann’s 1996 romeo and juliet; show is haikyuu! and 2003 teen titans; book is grendel; food is miso soup and honey tea
19. last 5 things you looked up in your youtube search bar/history?
red swan attack on titan opening (i listened to it 30+ times yesterday @ jill its so good), guren no yumiya opening, sasageyo attack on titan (had to compare w the ones u txted me yesterday lmao), jim carey grinch monologue, titanic sinks in real time
20. should we kiss rn? :*
:o yes. even tho i made this. pemdas effect and im actually kissing all my friends rn
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dorky-oreo-pone-blog · 6 years ago
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Some Artist Ramblings(TM)
First things first, thank you all so so sooo much for the support on that Dash pic! I really can’t thank ya enough, it’s nice to see so many people taking a liking to what I do.
Secondly, I have some FAQ’s that I feel should be addressed real quick, sooo~ Q: Do you take requests? A: Not really, only for super close friends and even then there’s no promises there. (The keep reading below kinda goes into detail about this sagdjfhb) Q: Do you take commissions? A: At the moment, no. This is merely a hobby for me and at the moment I’m just going to keep it that way. Maybe sometime in the future when I can get more things worked out? Q: Do you draw NSFW? A: Not entirely? I guess the idea of tubbos in and of themselves is suggestive, but for the most part nothing explicit. I’m mainly asexual so NSFW doesn’t really do much for me. ‘ w ‘
Okay... Now that that’s all out of the way, time for the rambly bits. O deer. Here we go. (This is your TL;DR warning by the by. The by. You can scroll along if you wish!)
Going into detail about question numero uno from earlier, or really all the questions in general. The stuff I do is mostly just for hobby. If I can make a little off of it from generous donations (which by the way to anyone who has done that I appreciate it more than you know), then I’m fine with that. But ultimately, the things I doodle I doodle because I want to. They make me happy and it’s nice to have that stress reliever in a time where course work picks up a lot and it makes it hard to catch breath every now and again. And sometimes the things that make me happy include, you know, doing things for other people. Not to boast myself up but I like to think I’m somewhat generous in that regard.
However, what I don’t like doing is drawing characters because I feel pressured. For example. When I post a piece of art in say a server or whatnot on discord, I do that because I think it’s nice to share it with friends. What I don’t like to see is when I post something and the response I get is “weh I’ll never get something from Oreo...” I suppose I’m addressing this not only for my sake but for other artists who feel the same bit of pressure.
Most of us I believe draw because we enjoy it, and find that we do have at least some resemblance of skill in it. However, when we get these kinda guilt tripping comments, it turns something that we find enjoyable into something dreadful. You worry about posting to places or showing anything to anyone all because someone might try and make you feel bad for not doing their character. “Artist Friend Syndrome”, as one of my closest friends put it. It’s understandable, really, and honestly I think we’ve all been there at some point. But just take this as a bit of warning... Just be cautious about suggesting what one of your friends draws. We’ll draw something for you if we want to (we being, you know, artists and artist friends), and if you’re kind about it. Don’t state, don’t ask or whine, be kind and nice about it. When I get comments of people feeling bad I don’t do things for them, not only does it not make me want to draw your character (who I’m sure is fairly cute), it makes me not want to draw, period. The amount of times I’ve had free time to draw and just haven’t because I’m worried someone is gonna get jealous or unhappy is like, too high for me to count. Granted I’m not very bright but shhh.
And I suppose some of this ties back to why I don’t take commissions. Once again this is just something that’s fun for me, I do it as a hobby. I’d hate to take a commission and end up being really late about it. Partially because I’d be stressed or partially because I’m busy with school. I hope that makes sense?.. I’m not good with words sometimes.
I’m not rambling all of this because I’m in firey flames of unholy fury or really angry, I just think it’s something that should be thought about, especially considering it’s been occurring a bit in some of the servers I’m in. I’ve been guilty of it too in the past, it’s human nature to want. But sometimes we just need to be better than nature, ya dig? It’s exhausting to feel responsible or that you’re not doing the best you can because you haven’t drawn all your friends characters. And I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels that way.
I hope this helps provide some insight as to why I do the things I do, or what I doodle and get up to. And to all of y’all who listened to me preach like a total nugget- well thanks. It’s not often I like to vent like this but it’s been on my mind tonight and figured I should just lay it out and be transparent on how I feel.
Also, yeah I’m ace. Don’t think I’ve publicly admitted that yet but like, hey do with that what you will! : D
Double-also, if you wanna chat with me (I’m honored), here’s my discord at the moment for you to hit me up at because ultimately I’m very bad at updating the username in my tumblr header whenever I change it oops. Dorky-Oreosaurus (B-Day 10/19)#1019 Also please don’t feel bad if I don’t respond right away, I have quite a handfull of people that I reach out to and sometimes that makes it hard to get back to everyone. Don’t take offense, I just don’t have enough attention for so many messages at once
Triple-also, yes! Birthday is on the 19th. Spooooky~! 
Okay I’m done chatting now. Thank you for listening to my ted talk. : D
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ayzrules · 7 years ago
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tagged by @elissastillstands!!!
Nickname: i mean some of yall here call me ally but most people i know (either online or irl) just go w my full name. though there was this one girl years back who called me leeshie
Gender: Female
Star sign: leo/virgo cusp (i “”””identify”””” more w virgo tho so thats what i tell ppl)
Height: 5′5″; maybe 5′5.5″??? IDK
Time: 7:38 pm
Birthday: aug 23
Nationality: American
Favorite band: god i dont know...owl city? oh wonder? steam powered giraffe?
Favorite solo artist: lana del rey, verite
Favorite colors: i like sky blue+sunny yellow together but in general anything pink, light blue, or yellow is good w me
Wearing: a dumb obnoxiously orange shirt igot for free at one of my school’s football games+leggings (bc i forced myself to “exercise” which is actually just me spending an unreasonable amount of time stretching cuz im slow and i like to pretend that my back is as flexible as it was at this time last year :^))))))
Last thing I googled: hunger florence and the machine lyrics
cuz i need to stop listening to all VERITE and the same “songs i like rn” playlist that ‘ive been listening to since idk the fall
Last show I watched: haikyuu aka dumb volleyball anime but omg its so funny and meme-able
Last movie I watched: deadpool 2 it’s excellent go see it
Lucky number: dont have one
Why did I choose my url: bc ive had this as my username since i was a third grader making an email address w/o telling my parents so i could get a frickin club penguin acct ok
its just my intials + “rules” (because elementary school was the whole “girls rule boys drool shit)
When did I create my blog: uh because i like to procrastinate and laugh at shitposts i dont really have a grand reason for my blog existing it just does
What do I post: honestly whatever shows up on my dash like pretty haute couture? yep! memes/shitposts? also yep
i dont really post anythign original except ive been posting any new art here recently just to “back it up” in case something happens to my files since PV is now gone
Do you have any other blogs: nah bruh
Do you get asks: nah bruh (but im p sure inbox is open)
Blogs who follow you: people from this game called smallworlds that i used to play, people from polyvore, random blogs that i like, people from roleplayerguild maybe? i dont remember
maybe like 1 person ik IRL lmfao
Average hours of sleep: usually 5.5-7 on school nights, 7-9 if no school
Dream trip: i dont know theres too many to choose from but i really really really want to go to a spanish speaking country not just cuz that shit is cool but i feel like my everyday spanish is not that great??? like i can write u an analytical essay about the presence of magical realism in como agua para chocolate in spanish but holding an actual conversation i legit just go “uhhh....uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHH”
smh i have to take all these spanish lit classes and im so OVER it but what can u do :-/////
Instruments: violin but i quit in tenth grade
How many blankets do I sleep with: one usually, i have like 2 smaller blankets but they’re just there i dont really use them to cover me
tagging some ppl sry if u didnt want to be: @interluxetumbra @hugsandnoregrets @officialdarklord @vampirkaninchen @e-m-m-d @monica-is-supadupa @reybels
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dangerliesbeforeyou · 5 years ago
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i changed my icon to a pic of my cat cos i’m sick of having to be represented by my face u kno?
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undertale-refuse · 8 years ago
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I get confused between whose comic I'm reading when I look at your icon and @underrift's icon. The hearts are flipped vertically and one is pixelated while the other uses smooth curves, but both are black backgrounds and white lines. The comics are telling different stories so far and have different art styles, but setting-wise, both started on the surface and are going back underground. Should I feel silly for not being able to tell you guys apart on my dash w/o having to reread pages?
hahaha @underrift got this same ask and we had a good chuckle over it together. however there are lots of differences in our comics!!
underrift has been up much longer, and takes place much longer after the end of the game
their sans is a potato. mine is a french fry
their sans is also a lot nicer and more trusting and cares a lot about frisk. my sans is still uh. well i don’t want to spoil anything but let’s just say he trusts no one and doesn’t trust this nice happy ending either
underrift’s heart is inverted and not pixelly!! unlike mine
i can’t wait for mine to change frankly jesus christ but when it does it will have red in it
also our art styles are super different aside from clean lines and soft shading i suppose i tend to use like. really oversaturated colors i don’t know the meaning of gray
also underrift has that kickass painting style i could never hope to emulate in 10000 years
BUT perhaps the best way to remember is that their username is super short and mine is super long because of course all the cool game quotes about “but it refused” were taken hahahaha
in the mean time just hang tight til mine changes. it should only be about 10000 years from now
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im-the-batmann · 7 years ago
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what's ur ig
It’s the same as my username w/o the dashes in it
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