#samcomptonquotes

[iheartgracie]

sam compton soft quotes

“Sam: Her name is ANGELA, and she didn’t stick around long enough to read the pamphlets, and I DO NOT HAVE GENITAL WARTS.”

“Just one more way in which the woman was trying to send him to an early grave”

“Whew, that was close. Mr. Blanton’s creep could have jumped out and got you at any time.”

“Chicks dig the cherries,” he said.

“I feel like that’s just a dirty joke waiting to happen.”

“Well, then lay it on me. I promise to laugh even if it’s not funny,” he said, clinking his glass against hers.”

“How do you know I snooped through your stuff?”

“Didn’t you?”

“Well, of course,” she said, fishing the cherry out of her drink. “But it was a total waste of time. There was no diary or dirty magazine or leopard-print boxers.”

“Clearly you didn’t look in the bottom right drawer.”

“Riley thought Sam didn’t know how to use his hands? Wrong. Because he was thinking of plenty of ways to use them right now. Strangling her was at the top of the list.

Right after he punched the toothpaste-model smile off her new boyfriend.”

“moving on to the onion dip and chips. Ah, there were the potatoes.”

“Not my birthday, but my daddy bought it for me because I was good when I went to the hardware store with him.”

“Your daddy’s a sucker, and you can tell him I said that,”

“Where’d you disappear to?” Liam asked, never taking his eyes off the football game.

Sam flopped down next to Liam and Brian. “Barbie and Ken were getting married.”

“Where have you been?” Josh asked Sam, jerking him back to the present. “You missed cake.”

“He was playing dolls. Brought his own Barbie wardrobe and everything,”

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Obviously”

“You pick,” she said, giving a woe-is-me sigh.

“No way. I’m here for moral support. And to make sure you don’t walk out of here with an entire pack.”

“Or maybe not,” Riley amended. “Maybe he’ll always be timid.”

“Mellow. Mellow is the word you’re looking for.”

“I was thinking Pippy. Or Lady.”

“Yeah, I’m going to go with no on the second one,” he said. “She’s already peed—twice—on my bath mat and eaten both of their food portions.”

“Who says I have a girlfriend?” Sam kept his voice easy.

“It’s written all over your whipped face.”

“I figure I’ve got two choices here. One: challenge you to a duel.”

“Um, pass?”

“Don’t even think about it,” Sam muttered quietly in her ear.

“Think about what?”

“Matchmaker. You’re bad at it.”

“I matched up us.”

“Something I might start to regret if your dog destroys one more pair of my shoes.”

“What can I say?” Riley said, patting his cheek fondly. “Pippy has a fondness for old sneakers from 1987.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed. “Did you put her up to it?”

“I still can’t believe I have to wear a penguin suit,” Sam muttered around a piece of chicken.”

“I’m tempted to take a picture of you right now in jeans and that ugly T-shirt to prove to Riley that you don’t always dress like one of your magazine advertisements,” Sam said, accepting the beer Mitchell handed him. “Maybe then she’ll let me wear my ugly T-shirts.”