#sam wincesther / reader

[scribeofwinchesters]

Secrets and Lies: Chapter 7.5 - Basterds, Tears and Mother Hens

Pairing: Sam x Reader 

(This chapter is just Dean and Reader)

Word Count: 3021

Summary:  You and Dean spend some lazy days in the bunker as he does his best to help you deal with Sam's absence.  

Previous chapters: One Two Three Four Five Six Seven

A/N: Link to AO3 if you prefer to read there. Thanks for reading :) It means a lot to me when you take the time to like/reblog or leave a comment letting me know you liked my story. I appreciate all of you <3

You finished off your coffee and before you could even set the mug back down on the table Dean pulled it out of your hand made his way to the coffee pot and poured you a second cup.

“Thanks,” you said softly as you once again wrapped your hands around the mug and pulled it close to you. “What time is it anyway?” you asked. It was easy enough to lose track of time in the bunker under normal circumstances. 

“Eleven,” Dean replied. 

You groaned before lifting your cup to your lips and took a sip. “I really kinda hoped I could just sleep until… until he comes back. Then I wouldn’t have to feel it.” 

Dean studied your expression silently before holding his mug aloft, toward you. “To healthy coping mechanisms,” he said. 

With the evening fast approaching, Dean found you curled up in your bed reading a book as you tried to distract yourself. 

“Studying?” Dean asked as he tilted his head to the side to try and read the name of the heavy book you were holding.

You nodded.

“Studying monster lore?” he grimaced.

You groaned as you sat up and laid the heavy book down. “Is that alright with you?” you asked as you stared grumpily at him.

He chuckled and shook his head as he stepped into your room. “Don’t know how I didn’t see you two coming from a mile away,” he muttered to himself. 

You ignored the comment. 

“Do you… maybe wanna watch a movie?” he asked. 

“.... I suppose I could do that,” you replied with a small shrug. You did not mention that you weren’t sure how much attention you’d actually be able to pay to it. But as long as Dean thought he was helping, that meant something to you. 

“I mean, far be it for me to pull you away from being the world’s biggest nerd,” he said, throwing his hands in the air, eliciting a faint chuckle from you. 

“Watch it,” you said with a smile as you stood up from the bed, leaving the huge book behind on your bed. 

A few moments later you were in the TV room, one of the bunker’s extra rooms that Dean had converted into a sort of, very small, living room, comprised of a small loveseat, Dean’s recliner, and a decent sized tv with surround sound speakers that he was especially proud of. 

“Did you have any particular movie in mind?” you asked.

“Not really,” he said.

You laid across the loveseat and wrapped yourself tightly in your fluffy, warm comforter. Dean, meanwhile, was crouched in front of the TV flipping through all the movies he had downloaded onto his thumb drive. The movie titles and thumbnails were flicking across the screen seemingly in no particular order as Dean struggled to choose.

Zoolander, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Bruce Almighty, Tombstone, Jurassic Park, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Exorcist, Guardians of the Galaxy, Hell Hazers, Hell Hazers II, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, My Best Friend’s Wedding, Rosemary’s Baby, That Thing You Do. 

“Do you know what you’re looking for there, pal?” you finally asked. 

“Well… I couldn’t decide what was a, uh… safe genre… I thought maybe inspiration would strike if I was looking at everything but none of these feel right.” 

“Can I see the remote?” you asked. Dean shrugged and passed it over as he sat down in the recliner and kicked the footrest out with a contented sigh. You sorted the movies alphabetically and thumbed quickly down to the ‘I’s’. 

You scrolled past In Bruges, Inception, Indiana Jones et. al., until finally… “Inglorious Basterds,” you said with a small smile as you clicked ‘play’ on the remote. 

“Hmm, interesting choice,” Dean said with a curious nod as he picked up his beer from the end table and took a long pull.

You glanced at Dean out of the corner of your eyes. “We're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' Nazis,” you said, doing a nearly spot-on impression of Brad Pitt’s Lt. Aldo Raine. 

Dean raised an approving brow and nodded his head as you smirked at him. 

Midway through the movie Dean glanced at his phone nonchalantly and then suddenly got up and left the room without saying anything. You thought a few moments later that you had heard the bunker door open but over the sound of the violence on screen blaring through the surround-sound speakers, it was hard to tell so you shrugged it off. A few minutes later you heard Dean making his way back down the hall and the smell of something warm and cheesy and delicious caused your stomach to growl loudly. 

Dean entered the room with a giant smile, carrying three giant boxes of pizza. 

“Oh my god…,” you whispered. 

“Hope you’re hungry,” Dean said with a huge grin. He set the boxes down on the coffee table in front of you picked up both plates he’d piled on top and handed one to you. You sat up and Dean pulled the lid open on the top box. The smell overpowered you and you felt your stomach rumble violently again. Dean chuckled. 

“That would be a yes,” he muttered with a grin. You blushed in embarrassment.

Dean had ordered your favorite pizza and your mouth was watering from the smell. As Dean held the box open for you, you reached in, pulled out two pieces, and carefully slid them onto your plate. You were so hungry but somehow despite the drive the delivery person must have made, the cheese was practically still bubbling. 

“Thank you, Dean,” you said as you set the plate down to cool and wrapped your arms around your stomach. 

Dean smiled as his eyes bounced between the TV screen and the pizza boxes he was shuffling to find his own, specially ordered, pizza. “Anything for you, sweetheart.”

“Well, if this is it old boy, I hope you don’t mind if I go out speaking the kings?” Lt. Hicox said on the screen as you repeated the line over him. 

“That was a terrible British accent,” Dean said, in an even worse, nearly offensive, British accent. You both started laughing and you picked up your plate, finally diving into the somewhat cooled pizza. 

By the time the movie ended, you’d each polished off one full box each. 

“Oh my god, I’m so full,” you groaned as you stretched your arms above your head and stood up from the couch.

“I’m glad you finally ate something,” Dean said as he pulled the footrest back into the recliner and stood up. 

“Oh Dean, always so parental,” you said with a teasing smirk. Dean shrugged before picking up the remaining pizza box. You picked up the dirty plates and he followed you out of the room and down the hall as you made your way to the kitchen. 

“Yeah, well, I did save your life, ya know. Kinda tends to make me-” 

“Mother Hen?” You interrupted.

“What?” he said, appalled. “No… I…  protective,” he finished with a confident shrug.

“Please, you’re protective of everyone,” you said as you crossed the threshold into the kitchen. You made your way to the sink and set the two plates down, turned the water faucet on, and waited for it to get hot. You turned around and rested your back against the sink’s edge and crossed your arms across your chest. 

“Yeah, but… you know… the people I already saved once… I tend to care a lot more that it… sticks,” he said. He shrugged before opening one of the refrigerator doors and making room to slide the full extra pizza box in. 

You chuckled. “Okay… I’m not gonna push it. But being protective is literally just a facet of being parental,” you said emphatically.

“Well, excuse me for caring,” Dean said. 

“I’m just teasing you,” you said as you shot him a wink. 

“Yeah, yeah. So… did watching Brad Pitt and Ryan Howard kill a bunch of Nazis violently cheer you up?” he asked as he made his way across the kitchen, toward you. 

“You know what… I don’t know what this says about me but… it actually kinda did,” you said with a chuckle. 

“Glad to hear it,” Dean said with a smile. “And, for the record, I’d say that’s the hunter in you.” 

“Speaking of hunters… have you… heard from him?” you asked.  

“Smooth transition,” he said with a teasing smirk.

“I’m sorry, you knew I was going to ask,” you said. 

He nodded.  “This morning. He sent me his coordinates and let me know he was good. Told him to call if he needed anything.” 

You turned around and started rinsing the plates. “Okay, that’s… that’s good,” you said. You picked up the sponge and squeezed some dish soap onto it. 

“He did ask about you if that’s what you’re not asking,” Dean replied. 

You hesitated. “What did he ask?” you asked as you stared intently at the soap sudsing up on the white ceramic. 

“Just… you know… wondered how you were,” he said. 

“Oh, okay.” 

You wanted to ask how Dean had answered, but you knew already it was the truth and you hated to imagine Sam thinking about you, all pathetic and sad and alone so you didn’t push it. 

You finished rinsing the plates and moved them to the drying rack. You felt the tears prickle suddenly at the corners of your eyes, unable to stop yourself from imagining hearing Sam or imagining him wrapping his strong arms around you and holding you close in the warmest hug. You leaned over the sink, steadying yourself by gripping the counter, and took a deep breath before pulling the sleeve of your shirt over your hand and used the back of it to wipe at your eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” you started, your voice cracking. “We were having such a good night and I ruined it.” 

“I’m still having a nice night,” he said.

“Thank you, Dean,” you whispered. 

“Anything for you, kid.” 

You turned around and wrapped your arms tightly around him. “Seriously, Dean. I don’t know what I’d do without you. And I don’t just mean right now.” 

“Well, the feeling’s mutual then,” he replied.

“I just wish I could talk to him,” you said. “Not him from last night… the usual him. I miss him so much it feels like my insides are imploding.” 

You let go and stepped back. “I think I’m gonna go be alone for a while,” you said. 

Dean nodded as you turned and made your way back to your bedroom. You were about to climb into bed when you realized your blanket was still in the TV room. On your way back to retrieve it you heard Dean’s voice coming from the kitchen. You quietly stepped toward the doorway, just close enough to hear him.

“Yeah, we watched a movie, Cas dropped off some pizzas. What about you?” 

A beat passed as the person on the other end of the line responded. 

“Hiking?” You could hear the disgust in Dean’s voice as he repeated it. You knew then he was talking to Sam. “Have you become one with nature yet?” he asked while chuckling proudly to himself. 

...

“It is funny dude. Your girl’s over here all torn up and I’m picking up the pieces because you decided to get away for the weekend,” you could hear the anger in Dean’s voice starting to rise.

...

“It is fair, man! She made a stupid mistake. She knows she did. She’s sorry. You know you’re going to forgive her and-” 

...

“Don’t be stupid. We both know you’re not going to break it off with her.” Dean was angry but you could swear there was a hint of worry in his voice as he shouted. Your stomach sank. You could feel your heart beating in your ears.

...

“Over my dead body, Sam,” Dean said through his teeth. “I will do whatever I have to do to fix this, do you hear me? You’re being dramatic and you know it!” 

...

“Yes, Sam. I’m completely serious. And even if you do, you’re gonna have to learn to live with each other because I’m not making her leave.” 

.........

“I pulled her ass out of purgatory, Sammy.  And after what happened to her family… I’m not taking this away from her.” 

Another long beat passed.

“Thank you,” Dean replied. Sam must have agreed that, at least, could be off the table. Although it was hard for you to imagine being around Sam and not being able to touch him… or kiss him… You tried to not let your mind wander too far down that road. 

“Alright… alright… be careful, man. Get some rest… get your head right, ya hear me? … Call us if you need anything.” 

Worried that Dean would find you listening, you peeked around the door frame and saw that he had his back to the doorway. You quickly and silently made it the rest of the way to the TV room to fetch your blanket. 

You heard Dean’s footsteps coming down the hall. You picked up your comforter and folded it into your arms. Dean spotted you as he passed the doorway and paused there in the hall to smile at you. You wondered how he was able to flip it on so easily before remembering between his dad and Sam, he’d probably had a lifetime of practice.

“Hey,” he said as if the entire conversation you’d just overheard hadn’t happened. You wondered if you should give it up or keep pretending. 

“Hey,” you said, giving him a gentle smile. “You know… it’s kinda scary how easily you can flip it on and off.” 

“What do you mean?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Cas delivered the pizzas. That’s why they were still so hot. I knew you wouldn’t trust a delivery guy with the address out here. Not to mention the amount of time it would take someone to get here.” 

Dean tilted his head as his eyes narrowed in confusion for a brief moment before his face fell.

“You heard that, huh?” he asked as he stepped into the room. 

You nodded. 

“Well, I meant it. No matter what, you’re not leaving.” 

“Dean… I asked Cas to erase your memory too.” 

“What?” 

“I told Cas… that if Sam had called you and told you what happened… he’d have to erase your memory, too.” 

Dean considered it for a moment.

“I don’t care,” he said with a shrug. 

“Come on, stop being stoic.”

“I’m serious, y/n. I don’t care.” 

You couldn’t have needed to hear three words more. Two warm rivulets of tears began streaking down your cheeks. 

“Really?” you asked, your voice cracking. 

“Really,” he replied. He stepped closer to you and wrapped his arms around you, blanket and all, and pulled you into one of his big, warm hugs. “You drew the short stick and you made the most of it that you could. Besides…” Dean hesitated. “I made a similar choice to protect two people I loved once.” 

You were sobbing into his chest as he held the back of your head, keeping you close to him. “Maybe Sam doesn’t see it the way I do… but me and you, we know loss in a way Sammy has never really had to. Losing your family, your home, everything in such a short span of time. The only difference is you were stuck in purgatory and I was on the road, stuck in sketchy motels. I know Sammy lost Jess, but he still had a choice in what came after. We didn’t.  So, yeah, of course when you thought you might lose the only good things in your life, you panicked. Maybe you overreacted. Maybe Sam wouldn’t have made the same call I did to protect Lisa and Ben... he was pretty pissed at me for that. But I had always thought if it had been him in my shoes… he’d have done the same damn thing.” 

You kept crying as Dean sat down on the couch and pulled you down along with him. 

“It’s okay,” he whispered. You were heaving, big heavy sobs now as you twisted his shirt in your fists. His front was drenched from your tears and you could feel yourself wanting to apologize but knowing full well Dean truly could not care less. The minutes ticked by as you sat there.

At some point in all the crying, you dozed off without noticing. Dean sat there, holding you for hours until he, too, fell asleep. When you woke up hours later you found Dean had pulled his legs onto the couch and you had slept on top of him, your face nestled into his chest where you’d been crying. But Dean had pulled a portion of your blanket across his chest so that you had a dry place to rest your head. It wasn’t exactly the most kosher sleeping position but you missed Sam so much that laying there with Dean… you could almost pretend. So you let yourself, just for a moment, pretend... You pulled yourself up and nestled into Dean’s neck and pretended… pretended he was someone else. 

You laid there like that for a few minutes before realizing that if Dean woke up he’d feel guilty, even though he had no reason to, so you peeled yourself off him and carefully climbed off, being sure to not wake him. 

After carefully setting a blanket over Dean, you made your way back to your bedroom and flopped onto the bed with a heavy sigh. Absentmindedly you picked up your phone from the nightstand to check the time. It was six-thirty in the morning. You set your phone back down and stared at the ceiling. Sam just needs time, you reminded yourself. 

You pulled your legs up and curled onto your side and imagined Sam’s warm body was wrapped around you. It didn’t take long after finding comfort in the memories of Sam’s warmth and love for you to fall back asleep.

EDIT: Chapter 8

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