#sam wilson hurt/comfort

[a-reader-and-a-writer]

I Love You, But More Importantly, I Trust You (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Word Count: 2911 Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Bucky isn't sure what to give you that will adequately express how he really feels. Finally, he decides to give you the one piece of himself he's been hiding all this time... TW: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Trauma, Emotional & Physical Scars, Description of Past Injuries, Undressing, Kissing Note: Happy Valentine's Day!!! I thought our favorite traumatized soldier needed some loving today (even if it involves some emotional vulnerability first)

“Hey, Buck. Are you all ready for tonight?”

Bucky glanced up from the television screen, one eyebrow raised slightly, to stare at his best friend as he walked into the room followed closely by Sam. “What’s tonight?”

“Umm, Valentine’s Day?” Sam said. “Damn, I know you’ve been on ice for the last 70 or so of them, but wasn’t that a thing back in the 40’s?”

Steve chuckled. “It was but back then Bucky…well, let’s just say he didn’t usually keep the same girl around for more than a few dates.”

Sinking into the couch cushion, Bucky muttered, “Steve was the romantic one. I was young and cocky and just looking for a good time, not something serious.”

Sam plopped down on the arm of the couch. “You better not let your girlfriend hear you say that or Tony’ll have to build you a new right arm to match that shiny left one.”

“What I have with her is nothing like those girls in the past!” Bucky snapped, but then his tone softened as he stared down at his hands. “I…I love her.” 

He had first whispered those words to you a few months ago when he asked you to share his quarters in the Tower with him, but it was still strange saying them in front of his friends. Neither of you were big on public displays of affection or grand romantic gestures so Bucky doubted either Steve or Sam realized how deeply he truly cared about you. To them, this might just seem like another fling or someone to keep his bed warm, but in reality, nothing could be farther from the truth.

As if reading his mind, Steve placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. “Well, today’s the day you’re supposed to prove that to her. Why don’t you buy her some flowers, a box of chocolate, a stuffed animal or two, and then take her out for a nice dinner? That’s what most people do. Just show her a good time and then let her know what she means to you. She’ll love it.”

Bucky nodded though he wasn’t so sure. That stuff might be fine for most girls, but you weren’t most girls. Far from it. You were unlike anyone he had ever met before and while he did want to do something special to show you how he felt, he knew fancy food and generic trinkets weren’t the way. He would have to find something else, something you would value more than the crap they were selling at all the local stores. 

And as much as the idea terrified him, he thought he knew just the thing.

Dragging yourself into your quarters as soon as the Quinjet landed, you flopped back onto the bed and draped your arm across your eyes. You loved your job and couldn’t imagine being anything other than a SHIELD agent, but weeks like this left you considering an early retirement. Globetrotting and tracking down rogue agents on less than a few hours of sleep had been the dream a few years ago. However, as you got older–and now actually had someone waiting for you when you came home–that life was losing some of its appeal.

You had just started to slip into unconsciousness when you heard a shuffling come to a stop at the edge of the room. Without moving your arm from its place over your eyes, you mumbled, “Hey, baby. Sorry I didn’t come find you but you weren’t around when I came in so I thought you might be out. However–” you said with a tired chuckle “–it would seem as though we’re both home.”

“How was it?”

Noting a slight tension in Bucky’s voice, you began to answer his question. “Ugh, just the same old, same old. Fury is all over my ass about this latest intel. I told him I can’t do anything else until he gives me–” 

You fell silent as you raised your head and got your first glimpse of your boyfriend. He was wearing your ratty, faded pink bathrobe that was stretched taut across his muscular shoulders and arms. The bottoms of the robe hung open and loose–revealing a glimpse of his boxers underneath–but at the top across his bare chest, he clutched the robe closed securely as if his life depended on it. His teeth were clenched tightly, his long hair grazing his pronounced jawline as it fell over his face. And even though his eyes were partially obscured and he was avoiding your gaze, it was impossible not to recognize the fear within them.

Sitting up, you softly asked, “Hey, Buck… what’s going on?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” he muttered bluntly as if that explained everything. 

Quietly, you cursed to yourself. You had never given a damn about Valentine’s Day, even as a little kid in school when you were supposed to pass out the cheap cards all the parents bought for everyone in class. And now as an adult, things haven't changed. In fact, until he mentioned it, the significance of the day had completely slipped your mind. But even now that you had been reminded, it didn’t explain why Bucky was wearing your robe.

“I guess it is. Did we…did we have plans? I can’t for the life of me remember us talking about it but you know how I tend to lose track of everything while I’m gone on a mission. I could–Well, it’s kind of late to get a reservation, but we could try to order in?” 

Bucky didn’t respond. Instead, he just continued to stand in the bedroom doorway, the knuckles on his right hand starting to turn white with how tightly he was clutching the sides of the robe shut. 

Afraid he might be having some sort of flashback and unsure of what to do, you slid to the edge of the bed until your feet rested on the floor. “Bucky? Baby, did something happen? Why are you wearing that?”

Taking a long, deep breath, Bucky muttered, “Steve and Sam said on Valentine’s Day people are supposed to give each other flowers and chocolates and crappy stuffed animals to show how much they care about each other. I started to go to the store to get you those things, but thinking about it, nothing felt right. I’m sure you would act like you loved it, but we both know you don’t care about that kind of shit. Plus, none of that would show you how I really feel about you. So, instead, I decided to give you me…All of me.”

As his grip on the robe slowly started to loosen, you inhaled sharply as it hit you what he was planning. Jumping from the bed, you crossed the room in three long strides and placed your hands over his, stopping the robe from falling open. “No, Buck, you don’t have to do that. I mean, it’s incredible that you thought to offer, but I don’t want you doing anything you’re not comfortable with just because of the date on the calendar.”

For the first time since you came home, Bucky lifted his head to look you straight in the eye. Fear still radiated from him–causing his blue eyes to seem even brighter than usual–but beyond that was a steely determination that you had only seen in the heat of battle. Gently, he removed your hands from his as he said in a strong, clear voice, “I want to. I love you, doll. And more importantly, I trust you.”

Tears began to blur your vision but you quickly blinked them away. Some people might have been slightly annoyed to hear him put trust over love, but you knew that to Bucky, trust was the most important thing in the world. He had been used, lied to, and betrayed so many times that he hadn’t been sure he could ever fully trust someone again.

He had told you as much just before the two of you had slept together for the first time. However, that night had just seemed like a one-time hook-up after an intense mission so as long as he gave you what you needed, you couldn’t give a fuck whether he trusted you or not. But when one time turned into two which turned into three which eventually turned into feelings developing on both sides, it became more of an issue. And while you knew at this point he trusted you more than almost anyone else, there was still one part of himself he hid from you. 

No one but a select few SHIELD doctors had ever seen the place where Bucky’s shoulder met his metal arm. In the locker rooms before missions, he would disappear into the bathroom stall to change into his uniform. He would join everyone at the pool or the beach but refused to go in the water or get wet enough to cause his shirt to cling tightly to his body. And when the two of you were alone and got intimate, he always left his shirt or jacket on the entire time. 

The only few times he had made an exception to this was after he bought a set of triple-layer blackout curtains for the bedroom, and even then it was a rare occurrence he would strip down completely. When he did, out of respect for him, you tried your best not to let your fingers brush against his shoulder in the darkness, but it had occasionally happened. Even without being able to see it, the feeling of the tough ridge of scar tissue abruptly shifting into cold, smooth metal painted enough of a mental image for you to have a vague idea of what it must be like. 

And you understood why he wanted to keep it hidden from view.

But now Bucky was standing before you in the middle of a fully lit room prepared to bare all. All he had to do was drop the robe.

Taking a step back, you nodded. “If this is what you want—if you think you’re ready to show me— then I’m ready. But, baby, don’t do this unless you are positive you’re not going to regret it.”

The smallest flicker of a smile flashed across Bucky’s face as his fingers tightened around the edges of the robe. “I told you…I trust you.”

And he let your robe drop to the floor.

It took everything in you not to react or burst into tears as you gazed at where his scarred, raised flesh melded into shiny metal. The way the arm was fused into his mangled skin made your stomach churn and bile burn in the back of your throat. But it wasn’t its appearance that made you on the edge of breaking down. No. It was the thought of how much pain and torture HYDRA had put Bucky through to do this. How these visible scars were just the beginning of the damage they inflicted on him and how even though he had broken free of their control, there were just as many scars left behind that you couldn’t see as there were on display before you right now.

Bucky’s eyes were laser-focused on your face, seemingly scanning it for any clue as to what you were thinking. Stepping closer to him once more, you wet your lips before asking, “Can… Can I touch it?” 

He nodded slightly but just before your fingers brushed against the metal, you drew your fingers back. “It won’t hurt you, will it?”

“Sometimes it still hurts,” he admitted, “but not when it’s touched. There’s just some leftover nerve damage that flares up from time to time. Hurts like hell, but even that’s nothing compared to how it was at first.”

He had never mentioned still having pain, but even more than that, he had never talked about the transition period from Bucky Barnes into the Winter Soldier, at least not to you. There was a file somewhere that contained all the information SHIELD had collected on him from various HYDRA bases they had raided as well as a SHIELD interview that had been conducted when Bucky first joined, but out of respect for Bucky, you had never sought it out. 

“You remember that? Wha–what they did to you?”

“I remember every second of it.” The venom in Bucky’s words caught you momentarily off guard, but you understood it wasn’t you that hatred was directed at. “They might have wiped most of my conscious memory, but the process never erased the pain. They didn’t want it to. It was left as a reminder of what they could do and as a promise of what would happen again if I didn’t follow their orders.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Looking at his shoulder again, your own rage bubbled in your chest. “All those bastards who did this to you better be glad they’re dead because if I ever got my hands on them–”

Bucky chuckled softly. “If I remember correctly, you did get your hands on a few of them.”

“Yeah, but that was before I knew what they had done to you. If I had, I would have made them regret every scar and mark they left on your body.” 

But as disgusted as you were at what HYDRA had made Bucky endure, you knew your hatred wasn’t what he needed right now. So, placing one hand on the side of his face, you turned your thoughts to the gift he had given you instead. “But, hey, I know I can’t fix what they did. However, I hope you know seeing this doesn’t change how I feel about you. If anything, it makes me love you more.”

Taking his metal hand, you gently placed a kiss on his cold fingertips. Then you placed another on his knuckles. Then the back of his hand. Then his wrist. 

Slowly, you moved up his arm, peppering soft, feather-like kisses along the way. You knew despite its hard, steely appearance, the vibranium prosthetic was sensitive enough to detect the slightest changes in temperature or the lightest of pressures. And judging by the way Bucky’s eyes flickered closed as he leaned his head back with a peaceful sigh, he could feel each and every one of your kisses. 

You had done this many times before, especially on those nights he was wrestling with his past or consumed with feelings of guilt and remorse. It was always the same: you started at his fingertips and continued until you reached the red star on his shoulder. Each kiss was to remind him you loved him—all of him. 

However, this time, after you kissed the star, you didn’t stop. Bucky’s eyes flew open and his body went rigid as you placed a kiss on the top of his shoulder…one on the silver metal covering his chest…one on the place where skin and metal met. 

You could feel him shaking slightly and you peered up through your lashes to make sure he was still alright. When he caught you staring, he gave you the smallest of nods. With this reassurance, you placed another kiss on his scars and another. You moved diligently from the top of his shoulder down to the very bottom of the metal plating. Once there, you worked your way back up the same path. When you reached the top of his shoulder, you began moving up his neck and then across his jaw.

You only stopped when your lips were hovering a breath above his. Tears were glistening in both of your eyes as you whispered, “I know you thought this would change things or make me feel different about you, and it has.” Bucky’s face crumpled slightly and he tried to pull away, but you held his face firmly in your hand. As you smiled, you continued, “I thought I loved you this morning. But seeing how much I mean to you, how much you truly trust me…I’ve never loved anyone or felt as loved by them as I do right now. This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you, baby.”

You leaned forward slightly, pressing your lips against his as you tried to put all of your love and gratitude into the kiss so he knew what he meant to you. For just a second, he froze. But then Bucky melted into you as you felt the last of his walls crumble around you. He was standing before you as raw and as vulnerable as a person could be, it was the most breathtaking thing you had ever experienced.

Without breaking the kiss, you took his cold, hard hand in your warm, soft one and blindly began leading him to the bed. Once there, you turned so his back was to the mattress and you pressed forward, forcing him down onto his back. 

Finally breaking the kiss, you climbed onto the bed too, straddling his waist as you placed your hand over the damaged part of his arm he had shared with you. Rolling your hips slightly against his, you purred, “It’s still Valentine’s Day and though I don’t have anything half as special as the gift you gave me, I plan on spending the rest of the night showing you how much I love you.”

In one fluid motion, you removed your shirt and tossed it behind you where it landed on top of the discarded robe. 

Taglist:  @tavners, @sunshineflowerchild789, @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy, @merlehs, @princessmisery666, @ohtobeleah, @musings-of-a-rose, @blue-aconite

[steve-language-rogers]

Should Have Known Better

A pool day with the Avengers causes Steve to figure out your secret. Hurt/comfort. Steve Rogers x f!reader. Steve being so sweet and protective and perfect. Set sometime when all the Avengers (including Bucky) are happy and living in the tower together. Reader is also an Avenger. Oneshot. 3.6k.

Tw: Reader is being abused by an unspecified male someone close to her. Dissociation. Bruises. Anxiety. Please take care of yourself if this content may trigger you.

A/N: This is my first fic and has been in my notes a LONG time. Wrote it for myself when I was going through something tough and figured there might be others who could use a lil fictional man comfort.

18+ only. Minors DNI. I do not consent to my work being translated, reposted, put on other platforms, or stolen.

GIF by @buckyscombatboots

You should have known better.

Some snide remark you make with a mischievous look at Tony about being a little rusty after his bad dive into the water would come back to bite you in the ass. He's the king of snide remarks, and no insults, no matter how playful, go unpunished. Most of the time, you took his teasing as a sign that he liked you. Today, the consequences of his taunting were much more than you bargained for.

August in Manhattan was scorching, so the team was lounging at the Tower's rooftop pool for a rare day of relaxation. You used to love swimming, but you chose to stay dry in your coverup for a reason–a good reason.

However, Tony could never have known this. A few drinks later and, "You know what makes iron rust faster, Y/N, water!" The next thing you knew you were pushed from the edge of the pool straight into the water.

Gasps of disbelief and giggles filled the air from the team, alongside a lightly chastising, "Tony!" from Steve. When you got your head back to the surface, you shrieked at him with indignation, a smiling tugging on your lips as you pulled yourself back onto the edge. Thankfully, it had all happened too fast and the water made too much of a splash for them to have seen your skin when you went under.

"You'll pay for that when you're least expecting it, Stark," you warned, stamping your soaked feet inside.

"Y/N, where are you going?" asked Natasha., smiling You paused in the doorway.

"To dry off..." you say with a laugh, said as if it was obvious.

"Why don't you just take your coverup off and dry off in your bathing suit out here?" Bucky offered.

"Uhh...I don't want to get sunburned," you explained lamely.

"Sugar, there's an umbrella five feet away from you," said Sam.

"C'mon, no one's gonna judge you if your six pack isn't a defined as Thor's." Tony joked. Thor wiggled his eyebrows at Bruce, who shook his head in exasperation.

"Guys, just let her go," Steve defended.

Your response rushes out of your mouth and you shift your weight from foot to foot, "I'd really rather just dry this off inside quickly. I'll be right back." You turn and continue into the room, and turn to close the door after you, only to be stopped by Steve.

"Right behind you!" he called out, "I just have to grab something quickly," he smiled.

You held the door open for him and gazed up at his sweet expression, hoping he couldn't see how your eyes sparkle for him. "You didn't have run, Steve. I would've waited for you."

"Well," he tilts his head shyly, "I know, but I didn't want to hold you up," he says. "I know you didn't want to get wet today and I'm sure you're uncomfortable." Ugh, why did he always have to be so conscientious?

"Plus," he whispers, leaning close to your ear, "you're dripping all over Tony's expensive hardwood." He meets your eyes with a teasing gaze and nudges your elbow before heading down the hall.

You walk as quickly as you can to the closest bathroom, trying your best not to drip all over the place. Since you're wearing a bathing suit under your coverup, you don't bother to close the door as you strip off the garment and start drying it with a hair dryer.

You should have known better.

The loud whir of the dryer prevents you from hearing Steve's footsteps as he returns. "Y/N?" he calls. You don't notice him approaching until he right on the other side of the doorway. "You can wear this if you wan–what the fuck?"

Shit! You slam the bathroom door shut but it's too late. You know he's already seen the purple and yellow bruises covering most of your ribcage and abdomen.

In typical protective Cap fashion, the door instantly yanks back open as he storms in. Does Steve respect his teammates privacy more than any of the other Avengers? Yes. But his concern for their safety always takes precedence over privacy.

His eyes are wide, his brows are furrowed, and his mouth is hanging open. His whole body is tensed and you can see that Cap quickly replaced easygoing Steve the moment he caught sight of you.

"What the fuck happened to you, Y/N? Why are you covered in bruises like you've been beaten to shit?!" You squeeze your eyes shut and turn your face away from him. He's sounds mad. In a different situation, you'd have the wherewithal to know that he's just scared for you.

After recognizing your fear, he takes a deep breath to calm himself and softens his voice. His eyes are trained on you, desperately searching for a hint as to what's going on. Stepping closer to you and placing his hand gently on your arm, he asks again, "Y/N, what happened to cause all of these bruises?" His anger has dissipated from his words, but the question hold just as much authority as anytime Cap speaks.

"Steve, please" you whimper, trying to back away from the intensity of his gaze. "Please don't worry about it, it's nothing," you beg. You're staring at the marble counter, the tiled wall, even the damn wet coverup that started all of this as you attempt to avoid his gaze.

It's completely futile, as always when Steve is concerned about you and won't relent. "Y/N," he holds your jaw lightly, forcing you to face him, "I need you to tell me how you got those bruises."

The statement is final. You know he knows that they're not from a mission (he reads every report to make sure no one has gotten injured) and that he's not going to believe they're from some clumsy accident (he's had too many bruises himself and can tell what kind of marks a targeted attack leaves).

You can't tell him the truth. You close your eyes again to avoid his gaze, "It's fine Steve, they're almost healed," you say to try to deflect the question. He still doesn't let up.

"Y/N, did someone do this to you?" he asks, already half-sure of the answer. Your silence confirms his suspicions. He lowers his voice as soft as it can go, knowing what the next question will do to you. "Did someone close to you do this to you?" he asks.

Your eyes pop open involuntarily. You feel trapped and screwed because he knows–how did he know?

The instant he sees terror in your gaze, his heart breaks for you. How could he not have known? You're frozen in shock, reactionless. He moves his hand to the back of your head, caressing your hair and bringing your face into his chest. His other arm wraps around your back, soothingly rubbing circles on it as he hugs you into him. "Oh, Y/N..." is all he can say for a moment, his voice wavering with the pain he feels for you and the guilt he feels for not seeing the signs sooner.

Tears stream down your cheeks but your face is frozen still in worry. You couldn't break down sobbing now to save your life if you needed to. It felt like your emotions just shut off completely. All you could do was hyperfocus on what you needed to do to keep yourself safe in that moment. Which was ridiculous, considering you were with Steve who had never, ever hurt you before. For some reason, danger still felt imminent.

Steve pulled back, cradling your face in his hands, brows furrowed with worry and eyes the slightest bit glossy. "You're safe now sweetheart. We're gonna keep you safe. I'm gonna keep you safe."

You nod because your brain tells you it's the right response. You're not sure if you're actually hearing anything he's saying. You register the feeling of his thumb, swiping across your cheek. He must see the glazed over look on your face. You think he calls your name a couple times and the next few minutes are blurry. You're breathing, breathing deeply and slowly with him. He's guiding you back to yourself.

You blink a couple of times as your awareness sharpens back into focus. "With me again sweetheart?" Steve asks, thumb still caressing your cheek. It's bad, he knows that. You need to see a professional right away, but he needs you conscious and present in your body first. "Y/N, I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I'm never going to let it happen again. But right now, we really need to get you to a doctor."

You're shaking your head violently halfway through his sentence. "No, no I don't need a doctor," you say instinctively.

"Sweetheart, I've seen bruises like this before and we need to make sure that nothing is broken," he says. "I can call in Bruce, or Helen, if you'd like. No one else on the team has to know if you don't want them to. But we need to make sure you're okay."

"Okay?" you ask, confused. "He's going to know, he always says I can't go to a doctor or the hospital, that they won't even treat me because nothing is wrong and he'll be so mad if I do it, I promised not to." The look in your eyes is wild, but you're speaking in sentences again and Steve takes this as a good sign. What you're saying is an entirely different story. But if he wants to help you, he can only take it one step at a time.

"He's never going to find out, I promise. Okay? You're not even going to leave the building, just downstairs in the medbay. No paperwork, no records, nothing. I'll stay with you if you want." You don't look convinced. "I promise he'll never know, alright? Do you trust me when I say that?" he asks, hoping to appeal to your rational side.

"Steve, I–I... he always finds out everything I try to keep from him. Why would this time be any different?" you're desperate and terrified, and Steve wants to rip that guy's throat out for everything he's done to make you like this.

"Sweetheart, because this time you have a team of superheroes and spies who are behind you," Steve says with a small smile.

This is what gets through to you. Your gaze flickers between his eyes, and your brows are still taught with fear. Slowly, however, you nod your head and say, "Okay Steve."

Relief floods his face as he pulls you back in for a gentle hug. "It's gonna be alright," he promises. You want to believe him so badly.

Thank you for reading! Comments & reblogs are always appreciated. If I can help anyone feel comforted by this, I'll have done my job<3

[a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all]

I Love You, But More Importantly, I Trust You (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Fandom: Marvel, Avengers, Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Word Count: 2911 Summary: It's Valentine's Day and Bucky isn't sure what to give you that will adequately express how he really feels. Finally, he decides to give you the one piece of himself he's been hiding all this time... TW: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Past Trauma, Emotional & Physical Scars, Description of Past Injuries, Undressing, Kissing Note: Happy Valentine's Day!!! I thought our favorite traumatized soldier needed some loving today (even if it involves some emotional vulnerability first)

“Hey, Buck. Are you all ready for tonight?”

Bucky glanced up from the television screen, one eyebrow raised slightly, to stare at his best friend as he walked into the room followed closely by Sam. “What’s tonight?”

“Umm, Valentine’s Day?” Sam said. “Damn, I know you’ve been on ice for the last 70 or so of them, but wasn’t that a thing back in the 40’s?”

Steve chuckled. “It was but back then Bucky…well, let’s just say he didn’t usually keep the same girl around for more than a few dates.”

Sinking into the couch cushion, Bucky muttered, “Steve was the romantic one. I was young and cocky and just looking for a good time, not something serious.”

Sam plopped down on the arm of the couch. “You better not let your girlfriend hear you say that or Tony’ll have to build you a new right arm to match that shiny left one.”

“What I have with her is nothing like those girls in the past!” Bucky snapped, but then his tone softened as he stared down at his hands. “I…I love her.” 

He had first whispered those words to you a few months ago when he asked you to share his quarters in the Tower with him, but it was still strange saying them in front of his friends. Neither of you were big on public displays of affection or grand romantic gestures so Bucky doubted either Steve or Sam realized how deeply he truly cared about you. To them, this might just seem like another fling or someone to keep his bed warm, but in reality, nothing could be farther from the truth.

As if reading his mind, Steve placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. “Well, today’s the day you’re supposed to prove that to her. Why don’t you buy her some flowers, a box of chocolate, a stuffed animal or two, and then take her out for a nice dinner? That’s what most people do. Just show her a good time and then let her know what she means to you. She’ll love it.”

Bucky nodded though he wasn’t so sure. That stuff might be fine for most girls, but you weren’t most girls. Far from it. You were unlike anyone he had ever met before and while he did want to do something special to show you how he felt, he knew fancy food and generic trinkets weren’t the way. He would have to find something else, something you would value more than the crap they were selling at all the local stores. 

And as much as the idea terrified him, he thought he knew just the thing.

Dragging yourself into your quarters as soon as the Quinjet landed, you flopped back onto the bed and draped your arm across your eyes. You loved your job and couldn’t imagine being anything other than a SHIELD agent, but weeks like this left you considering an early retirement. Globetrotting and tracking down rogue agents on less than a few hours of sleep had been the dream a few years ago. However, as you got older–and now actually had someone waiting for you when you came home–that life was losing some of its appeal.

You had just started to slip into unconsciousness when you heard a shuffling come to a stop at the edge of the room. Without moving your arm from its place over your eyes, you mumbled, “Hey, baby. Sorry I didn’t come find you but you weren’t around when I came in so I thought you might be out. However–” you said with a tired chuckle “–it would seem as though we’re both home.”

“How was it?”

Noting a slight tension in Bucky’s voice, you began to answer his question. “Ugh, just the same old, same old. Fury is all over my ass about this latest intel. I told him I can’t do anything else until he gives me–” 

You fell silent as you raised your head and got your first glimpse of your boyfriend. He was wearing your ratty, faded pink bathrobe that was stretched taut across his muscular shoulders and arms. The bottoms of the robe hung open and loose–revealing a glimpse of his boxers underneath–but at the top across his bare chest, he clutched the robe closed securely as if his life depended on it. His teeth were clenched tightly, his long hair grazing his pronounced jawline as it fell over his face. And even though his eyes were partially obscured and he was avoiding your gaze, it was impossible not to recognize the fear within them.

Sitting up, you softly asked, “Hey, Buck… what’s going on?”

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” he muttered bluntly as if that explained everything. 

Quietly, you cursed to yourself. You had never given a damn about Valentine’s Day, even as a little kid in school when you were supposed to pass out the cheap cards all the parents bought for everyone in class. And now as an adult, things haven't changed. In fact, until he mentioned it, the significance of the day had completely slipped your mind. But even now that you had been reminded, it didn’t explain why Bucky was wearing your robe.

“I guess it is. Did we…did we have plans? I can’t for the life of me remember us talking about it but you know how I tend to lose track of everything while I’m gone on a mission. I could–Well, it’s kind of late to get a reservation, but we could try to order in?” 

Bucky didn’t respond. Instead, he just continued to stand in the bedroom doorway, the knuckles on his right hand starting to turn white with how tightly he was clutching the sides of the robe shut. 

Afraid he might be having some sort of flashback and unsure of what to do, you slid to the edge of the bed until your feet rested on the floor. “Bucky? Baby, did something happen? Why are you wearing that?”

Taking a long, deep breath, Bucky muttered, “Steve and Sam said on Valentine’s Day people are supposed to give each other flowers and chocolates and crappy stuffed animals to show how much they care about each other. I started to go to the store to get you those things, but thinking about it, nothing felt right. I’m sure you would act like you loved it, but we both know you don’t care about that kind of shit. Plus, none of that would show you how I really feel about you. So, instead, I decided to give you me…All of me.”

As his grip on the robe slowly started to loosen, you inhaled sharply as it hit you what he was planning. Jumping from the bed, you crossed the room in three long strides and placed your hands over his, stopping the robe from falling open. “No, Buck, you don’t have to do that. I mean, it’s incredible that you thought to offer, but I don’t want you doing anything you’re not comfortable with just because of the date on the calendar.”

For the first time since you came home, Bucky lifted his head to look you straight in the eye. Fear still radiated from him–causing his blue eyes to seem even brighter than usual–but beyond that was a steely determination that you had only seen in the heat of battle. Gently, he removed your hands from his as he said in a strong, clear voice, “I want to. I love you, doll. And more importantly, I trust you.”

Tears began to blur your vision but you quickly blinked them away. Some people might have been slightly annoyed to hear him put trust over love, but you knew that to Bucky, trust was the most important thing in the world. He had been used, lied to, and betrayed so many times that he hadn’t been sure he could ever fully trust someone again.

He had told you as much just before the two of you had slept together for the first time. However, that night had just seemed like a one-time hook-up after an intense mission so as long as he gave you what you needed, you couldn’t give a fuck whether he trusted you or not. But when one time turned into two which turned into three which eventually turned into feelings developing on both sides, it became more of an issue. And while you knew at this point he trusted you more than almost anyone else, there was still one part of himself he hid from you. 

No one but a select few SHIELD doctors had ever seen the place where Bucky’s shoulder met his metal arm. In the locker rooms before missions, he would disappear into the bathroom stall to change into his uniform. He would join everyone at the pool or the beach but refused to go in the water or get wet enough to cause his shirt to cling tightly to his body. And when the two of you were alone and got intimate, he always left his shirt or jacket on the entire time. 

The only few times he had made an exception to this was after he bought a set of triple-layer blackout curtains for the bedroom, and even then it was a rare occurrence he would strip down completely. When he did, out of respect for him, you tried your best not to let your fingers brush against his shoulder in the darkness, but it had occasionally happened. Even without being able to see it, the feeling of the tough ridge of scar tissue abruptly shifting into cold, smooth metal painted enough of a mental image for you to have a vague idea of what it must be like. 

And you understood why he wanted to keep it hidden from view.

But now Bucky was standing before you in the middle of a fully lit room prepared to bare all. All he had to do was drop the robe.

Taking a step back, you nodded. “If this is what you want—if you think you’re ready to show me— then I’m ready. But, baby, don’t do this unless you are positive you’re not going to regret it.”

The smallest flicker of a smile flashed across Bucky’s face as his fingers tightened around the edges of the robe. “I told you…I trust you.”

And he let your robe drop to the floor.

It took everything in you not to react or burst into tears as you gazed at where his scarred, raised flesh melded into shiny metal. The way the arm was fused into his mangled skin made your stomach churn and bile burn in the back of your throat. But it wasn’t its appearance that made you on the edge of breaking down. No. It was the thought of how much pain and torture HYDRA had put Bucky through to do this. How these visible scars were just the beginning of the damage they inflicted on him and how even though he had broken free of their control, there were just as many scars left behind that you couldn’t see as there were on display before you right now.

Bucky’s eyes were laser-focused on your face, seemingly scanning it for any clue as to what you were thinking. Stepping closer to him once more, you wet your lips before asking, “Can… Can I touch it?” 

He nodded slightly but just before your fingers brushed against the metal, you drew your fingers back. “It won’t hurt you, will it?”

“Sometimes it still hurts,” he admitted, “but not when it’s touched. There’s just some leftover nerve damage that flares up from time to time. Hurts like hell, but even that’s nothing compared to how it was at first.”

He had never mentioned still having pain, but even more than that, he had never talked about the transition period from Bucky Barnes into the Winter Soldier, at least not to you. There was a file somewhere that contained all the information SHIELD had collected on him from various HYDRA bases they had raided as well as a SHIELD interview that had been conducted when Bucky first joined, but out of respect for Bucky, you had never sought it out. 

“You remember that? Wha–what they did to you?”

“I remember every second of it.” The venom in Bucky’s words caught you momentarily off guard, but you understood it wasn’t you that hatred was directed at. “They might have wiped most of my conscious memory, but the process never erased the pain. They didn’t want it to. It was left as a reminder of what they could do and as a promise of what would happen again if I didn’t follow their orders.”

“Baby, I’m so sorry.” Looking at his shoulder again, your own rage bubbled in your chest. “All those bastards who did this to you better be glad they’re dead because if I ever got my hands on them–”

Bucky chuckled softly. “If I remember correctly, you did get your hands on a few of them.”

“Yeah, but that was before I knew what they had done to you. If I had, I would have made them regret every scar and mark they left on your body.” 

But as disgusted as you were at what HYDRA had made Bucky endure, you knew your hatred wasn’t what he needed right now. So, placing one hand on the side of his face, you turned your thoughts to the gift he had given you instead. “But, hey, I know I can’t fix what they did. However, I hope you know seeing this doesn’t change how I feel about you. If anything, it makes me love you more.”

Taking his metal hand, you gently placed a kiss on his cold fingertips. Then you placed another on his knuckles. Then the back of his hand. Then his wrist. 

Slowly, you moved up his arm, peppering soft, feather-like kisses along the way. You knew despite its hard, steely appearance, the vibranium prosthetic was sensitive enough to detect the slightest changes in temperature or the lightest of pressures. And judging by the way Bucky’s eyes flickered closed as he leaned his head back with a peaceful sigh, he could feel each and every one of your kisses. 

You had done this many times before, especially on those nights he was wrestling with his past or consumed with feelings of guilt and remorse. It was always the same: you started at his fingertips and continued until you reached the red star on his shoulder. Each kiss was to remind him you loved him—all of him. 

However, this time, after you kissed the star, you didn’t stop. Bucky’s eyes flew open and his body went rigid as you placed a kiss on the top of his shoulder…one on the silver metal covering his chest…one on the place where skin and metal met. 

You could feel him shaking slightly and you peered up through your lashes to make sure he was still alright. When he caught you staring, he gave you the smallest of nods. With this reassurance, you placed another kiss on his scars and another. You moved diligently from the top of his shoulder down to the very bottom of the metal plating. Once there, you worked your way back up the same path. When you reached the top of his shoulder, you began moving up his neck and then across his jaw.

You only stopped when your lips were hovering a breath above his. Tears were glistening in both of your eyes as you whispered, “I know you thought this would change things or make me feel different about you, and it has.” Bucky’s face crumpled slightly and he tried to pull away, but you held his face firmly in your hand. As you smiled, you continued, “I thought I loved you this morning. But seeing how much I mean to you, how much you truly trust me…I’ve never loved anyone or felt as loved by them as I do right now. This is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Thank you, baby.”

You leaned forward slightly, pressing your lips against his as you tried to put all of your love and gratitude into the kiss so he knew what he meant to you. For just a second, he froze. But then Bucky melted into you as you felt the last of his walls crumble around you. He was standing before you as raw and as vulnerable as a person could be, it was the most breathtaking thing you had ever experienced.

Without breaking the kiss, you took his cold, hard hand in your warm, soft one and blindly began leading him to the bed. Once there, you turned so his back was to the mattress and you pressed forward, forcing him down onto his back. 

Finally breaking the kiss, you climbed onto the bed too, straddling his waist as you placed your hand over the damaged part of his arm he had shared with you. Rolling your hips slightly against his, you purred, “It’s still Valentine’s Day and though I don’t have anything half as special as the gift you gave me, I plan on spending the rest of the night showing you how much I love you.”

In one fluid motion, you removed your shirt and tossed it behind you where it landed on top of the discarded robe. 

[thatmexisaurusrex]

Hiii! May I request 🩹 + ❤️ for Sambucky if that's okay?? Love your work!!

SamBucky Summer Ficlet Prompts

Oooh a two-for-one? 👀 I can do that 😆

Bucky?!

Sam.

Wasn't sure what was happening.

One minute, he was driving his car as Steve was interrogating a man. The next, the infamous urban legend of the Winter Soldier was standing on Sam's car.

Holding.

Sam's.

Steering wheel.

And you know, maybe Sam would be a little less panicked if he could steer his car. He might be a little less confused if he didn't hear, "Where did you come from, you hipper-dipper he-pal? Are you rationed?"

And.

Okay.

Vaguely, Sam was pretty sure he heard, "Bucky?!" and, "Hey, wait. No! Buck, I flirted with Sam first. You can't just - Bucky," from Steve behind him.

And.

And all Sam could say was, "What."

Well.

Before he felt the car that he couldn't steer swerve out of control, everyone screaming as the world became a blur and -

And.

One minute, Sam was in the car.

The next, he found himself groaning; held by strong arms; on top of - on top of a body.

"Oolie droolie! Wasn't that a whirl? I've been in a few tight spots, but I don't think I've been in quite a spot like that," said - it couldn't be Bucky Barnes.

It couldn't be fucking Bucky Barnes.

"But hey," the man under Sam continued, "At least I got out of Dodge with a swoony cookie like yourself."

And.

Sam scrambled out of this man's arms.

"You wrecked my car," said Sam, like that was a smart thing to say to an infamous assassin.

The man.

Stood up.

"Patch my pantywaist, really? I don't remember. I apologize. The last thing I remember - I - I - "

The man faltered before he seemed to realize he was wearing goggles and a muzzle. The man panicked, taking them off and - holy shit. It was Bucky Barnes.

"I don't remember the last thing I remember. But then I saw you, this - this dynamite dreamboat, and I - I just wanted to talk to you."

And.

Okay.

Maybe.

Maybe they weren't enemies after all. Maybe this conspiracy had more elements at play.

"Bucky Barnes?" asked Sam as Bucky nodded, "I'm Sam Wilson. I'm actually helping your friend Steve take down some Nazis. Want to help?"

Bucky grinned.

"You had me at Sam, you luscious glad lad."

Sam could feel his face heat up at whatever the fuck that meant.

Then.

Bucky reached out to Sam's cheek.

"You're bleeding," Bucky whispered softly.

And.

And, okay, Sam was a little hypnotized by Bucky's voice; his intense stare as he pulled out a Band-Aid from nowhere and placed it on Sam's cheek.

And.

They kept staring at each other.

Close to each other.

"Better?" asked Bucky, as if Sam had noticed he was bleeding earlier.

"Uh. Yeah," breathed Sam, a little caught up in the moment.

Or maybe the adrenaline of the situation.

Leaning.

Closer.

About to.

Meet.

And.

Before anything happened, Sam saw Nat and Steve come in to double-team Bucky in a fight.

"Hey! Wait! We're cool now," said Sam as, well, Nat stopped.

But Steve didn't.

"I'm not cool. Bucky, you can't flirt with people I liked first," said Steve as he and Bucky tussled on the ground.

"Can't finders keepers people, Stevie. He's cute. I can flirt with whoever I want," argued Bucky.

And.

Okay.

Maybe Sam and Nat could give Steve and Bucky the chance to work that out amongst themselves. Sam and Nat were perfectly capable of taking down these HYDRA goons on their own.

[sarahowritesostucky]

Art in banner is by @hopelessartgeek, who makes a ton of amazing Stucky art!

📖 "Medically Necessitated" Ch 1

Rated: Explicit Pairing: Bucky x Steve Tags: a/b/o, age gap, past rape, rape recovery, trauma recovery, pregnancy, medical trauma, hurt/comfort, mentions of CSA, religious fundamentalism, first time, gender dysphoria, male omegas are intersex (peen & vagine) Summary: After a medical emergency brings him into the ER, Bucky escapes the religious cult he's been raised in. It's up to Steve, nurse practitioner and omega sex & repro specialist, to see him through a medically supervised heat.

1. Jori

Steve meets Bucky under less than ideal circumstances.

T.W. This fic contains occasional mentions of Steve's patients, who deal with issues of csa, sa, abortion, ptsd, and other traumas. Bucky is in the immediate aftermath of a rape at the story's start.

Steve hates sedating patients for procedures, but unfortunately in his line of work it’s often necessary. The only thing worse than when he has to sedate patients, is when he wishes he could sedate a patient, but for some medical reason he can’t. Like now.

“Shhh,” he soothes, petting over his patient’s leg when he feels her starting to tremble again. She’s laying back on the table, legs spread under the privacy blanket he’s given her. Steve settles his gloved hand in the crease where her thigh meets her hip, digs his thumb purposefully into the flesh of her lower belly from over the fabric of her pink hospital gown. There’s a tertiary gland in the low belly/upper mons that is the first of the omega sex glands to develop. And when stimulated properly, it can help to calm them down.

Unfortunately for Steve’s patient, hers won’t be fully developed for a few more years yet. He tries to get at it with his thumb anyway, hoping that if he can just graze it, it might help keep the girl calm until the procedure they’re doing is finished. He’s got her on the highest dosage of lorazepam allowed for a patient her age, but she’s still conscious and there’s nothing he can do for that other than comfort her verbally, using his alpha Voice that, in any other context, would be utterly inappropriate. “You’re doing so good,” he whispers.

Jori blinks her sleepy eyes up at him, another sluggish tear falling down her face. “Is it almost over, Mr. Steve?”

Steve takes a quick look at the machine’s readings, then forces a pained smile for her. “Yeah, Honey. Only a few minutes left. I’m so proud of you, you know that? You’re my best patient ever. Being so brave. Just a little longer here and then we’ll be finished."

They’re in the pediatric exam room, where the walls are painted in cheerful colors and the gynecological equipment is disguised to try and make it less intimidating. Steve likes his job as an omega sexual and reproductive healthcare practitioner, but there are some cases, and some elements, that he really, really wishes didn’t exist. Marjorie Goldberg and this exam room are two of them.

Seeding machines should not come with pediatric-sized attachments.

“Is she okay?” Mrs. Goldberg asks urgently, shooting up from her seat as soon as Steve steps out into the waiting area. Clint is sitting next to her, his OmCare badge clipped onto his jacket, and he stands when she does. Steve takes a deep breath and walks over.

“Marjorie is okay,” he tells her. “She shouldn’t need any more treatments after this one. She’ll need to be on medication for the foreseeable future, though. She needs to get into an intensive therapy program as soon as possible. We’re sending that information to her DCFS caseworker. I’m also recommending monthly checkups back here or at a licensed clinic for at least the next six months.”

“For more of this?!” Mrs. Goldberg takes an angry step forward.

“No. Just to check her levels and monitor her progress,” Steve says, tone clipped. “Nothing invasive, just blood tests and external ultrasounds to make sure everything’s okay.” His eyes flick to Clint, who is watching the woman like a hawk.

Clint is one of the OmegaCare social workers employed by the hospital. He’s there because the Goldbergs don’t currently have custody of their daughter, and it’s been a very … testy situation, with all parties involved.

Mrs. Goldberg is insisting on being as present as she’s legally allowed to be, not missing any appointments, lingering in the waiting room each time poor little Jori has to endure a treatment. She’s not allowed to see Marjory without supervision, and she isn't currently the one in charge of her daughter's medical care, but she's asserted her right to stay informed about it all, and since Steve is temporarily the senior N.P. on the pediatric omega GYN ward, that means it's his side she's a thorn in.

Mr. Goldberg is the reason the treatments have been necessary. He’s in prison now.

“You couldn’t even let me in there to hold her hand!” Mrs. Goldberg is saying, voice raised in anger.

Steve looks her dead in the face. He’s got little to no sympathy for this woman. “That’s not up to me, Mrs. Goldberg. You know that. DCFS is evaluating the nature of your relationship with your daug—”

“She needs me!” Mrs. Goldberg yells, outraged, though obviously on the verge of tears, too. “I’m her mother, for Christ’s sake!”

“And he was her father,” Steve bursts out, unable to contain himself anymore. “And we all know why I just had to be in there, therapeutically inseminating his seven year old daughter!”

Mrs. Goldberg stands there, red-faced and quietly crying. Steve feels near-instant regret hit him when Clint shoots him a what the fuck, man?! look from over the lady's shoulder. Steve swallows guiltily. That’s the kind of reaction that gets you administrative leave, if the client makes a big enough stink about it. By the sound of her pitiful crying though, Mrs. Goldberg is just feeling guilt and misery, hopefully not thinking about taking action against an NP who has just—very loudly and unprofessionally—yelled at her. Steve is supposed to be able to keep his shit together better than this. But then again, this isn’t really his wheelhouse.

He specializes in trauma cases, but the kids usually fall to his colleague, Dr. Connors. Steve is one of only a few staff who are qualified enough to cover most of Connors’ caseload while the man is out on maternity leave. Steve’s happy for the guy, sure—he’s just given birth to two healthy pups after a difficult pregnancy. But Steve’s starting to lose sleep (what little he gets to begin with, these days) to the nature of the work. He’s not cut out for the kids.

He clears his throat and mutters an apology to Mrs. Goldberg, looking at his clipboard rather than her wet face. “Marjorie’s still recovering from the sedation we gave her.” They’d tried for stronger drugs at first, aiming for full or at least twilight sedation, but the little girl had had such violent seizures that it was rendered impossible. “It’ll be another half hour or so until she’s ready to go back to her foster home.”

Mrs. Goldberg sniffles. “She’s alone now?”

“She’s with a nurse,” Steve says. He looks at Clint, nods, then turns to get away from the situation.

“Doctor Rogers!” the woman calls out, her voice all water-logged and choked.

Steve stops walking with a sigh. He doesn’t much bother with correcting people on the 'Doctor' thing anymore, finding it to be a waste of breath. “What?” he says curtly, not turning back around to face her.

“I didn’t know.” Her voice is pleading, tearful and urgent. Maybe she wants him to believe her or feel sorry for her or something. Maybe she just needs somebody to tell her that it’s not her fault. “I swear I never knew what he was doing to her. Not for sure. I swear.”

Steve’s hands tighten on his clipboard so hard that he feels it creak. “Right,” he grits out, forcing himself to continue walking away. “‘Not for sure’.”

Steve leans over the countertop of the nurse’s station and hands Sam a stack of charts. “Four and seven discharged. Five and six were admitted. Still waiting on the attending for eight.”

Sam nods, more bug-eyed than usual. He’s on his fifth coffee now. He takes the charts and starts putting them away. “Kay kay kay.”

“No more coffee,” Steve warns him, and Sam scowls.

“I’m fine.”

“Mmhm.” This is the tail end of the second shift for both of them. Sam’s a nurse on the om-psych ward, and given that Steve handles almost exclusively trauma cases for om-obgyn, he and Sam’s cases tend to intersect a lot. They both also draw the ire of their department managers pretty frequently, so they’re often sentenced to either clinic duty or shifts in the ER together. That’s how they became such good friends, and it’s where they are now.

“How was the shift on pediatrics?” Sam asks, though he sounds like he can already guess the answer. Steve’s been in a foul mood ever since he switched to his ER scrubs and clocked in.

“Awful,” he grunts. “I can’t keep doing the kids. It’s killing my soul. I’m going to my unit head tomorrow and telling her,” he decides. “She can’t force me to do it. I’ll tell HR it’s a mental health issue.”

Sam laughs. “Then they’ll send you my way. I’ll recommend shock therapy.”

“I’d take it over what I had to deal with today.” Steve gives him a brief recap of the Goldberg situation, and Sam loses all his humor.

“Shit, man.”

“Yeah.” Steve can’t say he isn’t really, really grateful to be alpha sometimes. Or at least grateful that he’s not omega. If anybody drew the short straw in life, it certainly seemed to be them. The fact that a grown man could rape his own daughter was bad enough, but then add to that the fact that because the girl was omega and her father alpha, she’d been forced into pre-pubertal heat too, her little body confused and trying to do what it thought it was supposed to do—to the detriment of her health in every way possible.

Steve sighs as he thinks about the abortion he’d had to perform on her. That kid was going to be on meds and in treatment centers for months, maybe years. Probably in therapy for the rest of her goddamn life. “I told them I’d be happy to testify at the guy’s trial,” he tells Sam. “In a medical capacity, if they needed it.”

Sam scoffs. “You are well spoken.”

“Very fucking eloquent.” Steve knows he needs to stop talking about this. It’s keeping him in a foul mood. He runs his hands through his hair. “Ugh, Sam. Distract me. Give me something to do.”

“Like what? Oh, hang on.” He leans over to the computer, clicking the mouse a few times as he navigates the screen. “Dispatch called in a code blue. Adolescent male, nonresponsive. They were doing chest compressions when the call came in.”

“When?”

“About ten minutes ago. So they should be here soon.”

Just as he says it, the doors to the ambulance bay bust open and several paramedics come wheeling in a gurney. Steve goes over to assess. The lead paramedic begins rattling off info to Steve as they move the gurney over to a bed: Adolescent male omega, presented with fever and respiratory distress. Pulse is thready, BP eighty over sixty.

The smell gets Steve right away, and an even stronger waft hits the air when they transfer over to the bed. The omega reeks of heat, but it’s sour and unhealthy smelling—unfulfilled, infected. Besides being inherently unpleasant, Steve’s body is responding to it, his dumb dick perking up like it thinks it can be a hero and help the situation. He tells the nurses to grab him blockers, and the new beta intern gets shoved in the direction of the supply cage.

Steve begins barking out orders. "Okay let’s get a line in him. I want a blood draw, full tox screen. Why isn’t he on oxygen yet? —Paxton! get the fuck off your phone. What the hell, man?”

“Sorry!" the intern says as she returns from her run to the supply cage, wringing her hands and just generally looking terrified of Steve’s ire. “We’re out of dermals.”

Steve ignores her, too busy rattling off IV meds and doses to the nurses. He'll have to wait until he can raid another cage for a transdermal patch to shut his dumb dick it up. He tells the intern to prep the crash cart, just to give her something to do. The boy on the stretcher looks to be in his late teens. He’s wearing jeans and a tee shirt that’s already been cut open. The nurses pull the scraps of it off him while Steve re-checks his vitals. When he shines his penlight in the kid’s eyes, he regains consciousness. He starts to struggle, afraid.

“Hey there,” Steve says, talking in his 'Nothing’s Wrong Here, Folks™️ voice to try and keep the kid from panicking. “I’m Steve, I’m an NP at Mercy General. You’re in the hospital. Can you tell me what you remember?”

“No family came with us,” the medic murmurs in Steve’s other ear. “Call came from a private residence. It was crowded but nobody wanted anything to do with us. They shoved him at us and told us to leave.”

Steve nods. That means it’s likely a drug situation. “What’s your name, Honey?” he asks the kid.

The kid blinks, still confused. “Bucky,” he says, “What happn’d?” He sounds bleary, like he might fade out of consciousness again.

Steve barks at one of the nurses to get him hooked up to the monitoring equipment. “That’s what we’re going to figure out,” he tells the kid kindly. “Bucky, can you remember if you took anything today? Any medicines or other substances?” He watches as the kid’s blown pupils flick around. The scent of frightened omega gets worse and Steve fights not to wrinkle his nose. One of the nurses relays the kid’s high temperature and pulse, his low blood pressure.

Two seconds later, he starts seizing. Steve holds his head steady while one of the nurses shoves a plastic guard between his teeth. They turn him on his side and the smell of urine hits Steve’s nose. As he’s holding the boy still, he puts his face near his neck and gets a better sense of his scent. What he smells makes his own heart rate tick up in alarm. The seizure passes and Steve tells the nurse to cut his remaining clothes off. Bucky’s barely conscious, emitting a low keening sound when Steve looks between his legs. “Fuck,” he curses.

There’s rampant infection, the fact that Steve can tell without even doing an exam is worse than alarming. He tells them to prep heavy duty antibiotics. “I need to do an internal,” he says. With the infection as horrible as it looks, there’s no way he’ll be able to touch the kid while he’s conscious. “Knock him out. And get a rape kit.”

They get him stabilized, on antibiotics and anti-seizure medication. Steve locates a blocker patch in one of the other supply cages to slap on himself before he heads in to do an internal exam on the unconscious omega. He finds impacted slick glands and prostate gland that are so enlarged and inflamed that Steve’s kind of amazed they haven’t ruptured. An ultrasound reveals an illegal IUD. Steve removes it. The boy’s hymen is obviously newly torn, and there are signs of recent tying. He's been raped by at least one alpha—violently, if the bruising is anything to go by. They swab what Steve would bet are foreign fluids from both his stomach and genitals. Steve meets with two cops and a social worker from OmCare, hands the rape kit over and tells them his findings. “Let me know if you contact any family,” he says.

So far, it seems like this boy has no one.

They admit him under “Bucky”, using his designation and admittance number (ꭥ-47202) in lieu of his unknown last name. Since he’s stabilized and since his medical problems seem to mostly be between his legs, he’s moved up to Om-obgyn Inpatient and officially put under Steve’s care. Steve is able to snag his department head and beg her to pull him from all pediatrics cases. She agrees, but makes the call that Bucky should remain on the adult wing. So he’s still Steve’s patient.

In his current state, Steve can’t do anybody much good for much longer. He’s nearing nineteen hours on shift, and even with the aid of several espressos, he doesn’t have much steam left in his body. He knows he could go home, but his next shift is scheduled for eight hours from then, and he really wants to be there when the kid wakes up. So rather than go home, he grabs an empty bed and crashes.

When he wakes, he checks the time on his phone and inhales deeply. At least he got a good six hours. He heads to the nurse’s station and gives the charts for their hall a lookover, then goes to the room where they’ve put the male omega from the night before: Bucky.

His eyes are closed when Steve walks in. Steve tilts his head, taking in the boy's features. He looks better now, more stable, less pale. And he smells better, which gives Steve a hint that the antibiotics are already helping. The notes on Bucky’s chart from the overnight nurse have him nodding in vague approval as he reads. “Okay,” he says quietly to himself. “Good.” Not good good, but much better compared to the state he’d been in last night.

When Steve looks up again, the boy is watching him.

Steve smiles gently. “Hey there. You’re awake.” He walks over to the bedside. The boy struggles to push himself up and Steve halts him, showing him how to instead use the controls on the bed rail to come up to sitting. “Don’t want to overexert yourself,” he says kindly. He pulls up a chair to the bedside and sits on it. “I’m Steve,” he says. He’s long avoided using his last name with patients because they always wind up calling him “Doctor Rogers,” and Steve isn’t an MD and it just gets awkward after awhile. “You’re in the hospital. You were brought into the ER late last night. This is the omega ob-gyn ward you’re in now, and I’m going to be your attending.”

“Attending?” the boy says, voice craggy and dry. He winces and puts a hand to his throat.

“It means I’ll be looking after you,” Steve clarifies. He gets up and goes to fill a cup of water.

“I’m Bucky,” the boy says. “You’re a doctor?”

Steve returns to his bedside and hands the cup over. Bucky takes it. “Small sips,” Steve warns. “I’m a nurse practitioner. In New York we can do just about everything the docs do. But like I said, you can feel free to call me Steve.”

Bucky nods, no affect to him. He seems almost resigned, Steve thinks. He hasn’t asked about any loved ones and Steve hasn’t missed that either. “What happened?” he asks.

“Well I was hoping you could tell me that,” Steve says, purposefully keeping his demeanor non-confrontational. “You’re sick. You have some infections going on. And you were in very bad shape when they brought you into the ER. You had a seizure.”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “I did?”

“Mmhm.” Steve leans forward a little and asks, “What do you remember happening yesterday, Bucky?”

This is where the omega goes still and clams up. He refuses to give an account of anything, saying that he has no memory of the previous day. Steve is trained in how to interact with assault and trauma survivors, but he doesn’t make any headway with the boy. Bucky clearly believes that being open and honest with strangers will put either him, someone he loves, or someone with authority over him, in trouble.

Steve backs off, hands him a room service menu so he can order something cool for his throat, then goes to page Sam.

When Sam comes out after spending almost an hour with the kid, Steve straightens up from where he’s been loitering at the nurse’s station. “What’d he say?”

Sam blows air through his lips. “It’s a doozy.” He tips his head down the hallway. “Walk with me. I’ll tell you over my next espresso.”

Turns out, Bucky has been living in an isolated religious sect that doesn’t believe in, among other things, male omegas’ reproductive rights. More precisely, they pretty much just don’t believe that male omegas should exist, think that they’re an ‘abomination unto the Lord’, or something like that. Steve looks up the Wikipedia page on their group, and is neither pleased nor particularly shocked at what he learns.

Short of murder, they espouse beliefs and practices that do everything possible to stop male O's from existing. They try to prevent nature from taking its course on the limited number of male O's born in their group, forcing them to live instead as regular beta males via a combination of drugs, surgeries, and social pressure. They call themselves the Children-of-God’s-Kingdom.

Steve’s heard of them before, but he’s never had anyone like that come through his ward. “Oh man,” he says, when Sam rattles off the things Bucky's told him. “So, a cult. You’re telling me he’s in a cult.”

“He doesn’t even know who his real parents are,” Sam says gravely. “They live communally. All the wacko parents sign custody of their kids over to their grand poobah.”

Steve scowls, feeling outrage for what’s been done to this poor kid in the name of religion. “Well they managed to almost kill him,” he snaps quietly, mindful of where they’re standing. “And it's almost a guarantee that he’s been sexually assaulted. We ran a rape kit last night.”

Sam doesn’t look surprised, just mad and caffeinated. Steve asks him if he got an age out of the boy, and Sam tells him regretfully, “Eighteen.”

“Fuck.” Steve shakes his head. Omegas don't reach their majority until nineteen. “We’ve gotta report it to social services before somebody from the cult shows up trying to claim him. Trust me: one look at his charts and OmCare will take custody.”

Sam nods. “He also said there’s an IUD inside him and hormonal suppressants implanted.”

“Yeah we got the IUD out. I’ll get the implant out today. Which arm?”

“You’d have to ask him.”

Steve nods tersely, wondering if the poor kid got to have any say over the things his so called ‘family’ did to his body over the years. Likely not. As a physician who is very well educated on the considerable risks, Steve has always heavily discouraged his omega patients from trying to use drugs and devices to suppress their natural cycles. But, much like many other unhealthy choices, birth control and suppressants aren’t technically illegal for omegas over the age of twenty one.

But Bucky is only eighteen, just now entering the ripest years of an omega’s reproductive life. Steve grits his teeth when he thinks of what further damage might’ve been done to this poor kid, had he remained in that cult for any longer. “I’m gonna go check in with him,” he says, taking a step in the direction of Bucky’s room.

Sam stops him with a touch to his arm to let him know, “He seems honest enough, but he’s anxious not to get anybody from his group in trouble. He wouldn’t name names. And you can bet he’s gonna be all kinds of warped about his designation, being raised like that. Tread carefully.”

Steve nods, angry. No doubt the kid’s been told his whole life how he’s an affront to God, has ‘unholy urges’, or some horrible shit like that. “Guess he’ll be up your way before long, then,” he tells Sam, before walking off.

Steve knocks lightly on the doorjamb to make his presence known. “Hey there.”

“Hi.” The omega is sitting propped up in the bed with an extra blanket and pillow now. He’s got water and a half-finished Italian ice cup on the bedside table. Steve notes the almost completely untouched breakfast platter and nods. Kid must be nauseous. He’s looking sheepishly up at Steve as he approaches. “You sent a shrink in.”

Steve pulls the chair back in to sit close to the bed like he had before. “That’s nurse Wilson,” he says. “And yeah, he came to try and get you to feel safer about talking.” The kid—Bucky—nods while looking down at his lap, and Steve asks, “Did it help?”

Bucky shrugs. “He said I don’t have to talk about anything if I don’t want to.”

Steve’s heart clenches as he remembers the rape kit they’d done on him, the torn hymen and the swollen — “That’s right, Honey,” he says. “You don’t.” He puts his hand on the bed, not touching him, just the thin hospital blanket next to his legs. “But I’m hoping you’ll tell me certain things, so that we can get you healthy again.”

Bucky looks very uncomfortable, but to his credit he seems to push through it. “Look, um, Steve?”

Steve nods.

“I heard the nurses talking. About my family.”

Steve straightens up. “Your family?” He’s hopeful he’ll be able to get information about the kid’s abusers, but Bucky disappoints him by saying,

“The ‘Children’ I mean. They’re my family.” He chews his lip and looks down at his knees. “Look, I know … I know it’s not normal, the way we live. I know other people are different, live differently.” Quietly, almost so quiet that Steve doesn’t hear it, he says, “People in the outside world don’t say bad things about us.”

“Who’s ‘us’?” Steve prods gently.

“Omegas,” Bucky whispers. “Boy omegas, anyway.”

Steve hates to see the self-loathing on the kid’s face, hating himself just for how nature made him. “Bucky,” he says carefully. “I want you to know that most people believe that male omegas are perfectly natural and normal. Both female and male omegas are beautiful and important.”

Bucky’s cheeks darken. He’s clearly uncomfortable talking about it. “I know. I’ve run away a couple times, spent time around … around normal people. I've watched tv shows.”

“That’s good, Honey.”

"Yeah. I —" Abruptly, Bucky’s face pales and his eyes get wide. Steve tenses. Bucky leans over and snatches the breakfast tray off the bedside table and gets it in front of his face just in time to barf all over the room service order of scrambled eggs and toast. Steve winces and gets up to help him. When it seems like he’s done retching, Steve takes care of the mess and returns with a couple of the hospital’s barf bags. “Here. Just in case.”

“Thanks. Ugh.” Bucky grimaces. “God. I feel so awful.”

“I know, Sweetheart.” Steve sits forward in his chair. “That’s because you’re sick. I need to ask you some questions to figure out what we’re gonna do to treat you and get you all better, okay?”

“... Okay.”

He tries to smile encouragingly. “Alright. I know it’s hard to talk about, but it’s important you answer honestly so I can help you, okay?” Again, Bucky nods, and Steve asks, “When did you have your first heat?”

Bucky looks mortified—beyond the usual discomfort of a teenager not wanting to talk about their body, or sex. He’s ashamed of himself, Steve realizes. But he manages to answer with a quiet, “Eleven.”

Male omegas tend to go into heat earlier than their female counterparts, their bodies needing more time in estrus to fully mature. Steve nods encouragingly, trying to show Bucky through his open expression that nothing about this should be shameful. “Okay, and how many heats would you say you’ve been able to cycle through naturally without birth control or suppressants?” Steve does some quick mental math: 7 years x 12 months … That’d be close to 84 heats, assuming he's always been regular with his —

“Oh never! Or, I mean ...” Bucky makes a face and corrects himself. “Not since the first one, anyway.” He looks miserably down at the blanket covering his legs, like he’s remembering something awful. “Just that first time,” he repeats quietly.

It’s a terrible answer, and Steve forces himself not to visibly react. He doesn’t want to scare the kid. He notes the information on the chart. “Okay. I removed your IUD last night. Do you know which arm they put your suppressant implant in?”

Bucky nods, pointing to his left bicep.

“We’re gonna take that out today. I’ll give you a local injection to numb everything. It won’t hurt.”

He nods, looking wary of the prospect. “So then I’ll … I’ll get my heats and stuff?”

Steve hums sympathetically and tries to reassure him. “It’ll be fine. You’ll feel a lot better, I promise.” Bucky doesn’t say anything, just keeps looking resigned and dejected. Steve hates it. He imagines the years the poor kid has spent hearing The Children’s vitriol, hearing despicable horror stories about pathetic, desperate, disgusting male omegas in heat, how it’s something to be avoided at all costs. Steve frowns and moves on to the unpleasant part. “So, one thing we did last night that you probably don’t remember, is we collected swabs of fluids and tissue. For evidence, in case somebody had hurt you.” He waits until he can see that Bucky gets what he’s saying. The poor boy’s eyes widen and his lips part and he gets very tense. Steve reaches out to grasp his hand, then adds, “I think somebody did hurt you, and I’d like it if you could tell me so that I can make them pay for what they did.”

Bucky shakes his head, tears breaking from the corners of his eyes. “No. No, I don't want to talk about this.”

Steve’s heart breaks, but he has to press the issue at least a little bit. “Honey, the thing is, this is important for me to know. Medically, it’s important for me to know, because you know what happens when an omega is suppressed for years and years and years, and then alpha semen gets inside their body?”

Bucky flinches hard at those words, but Steve holds fast. He gives Bucky’s hand a reassuring squeeze, leaning further forward and holding it in both of his large hands, enveloping it. “What happens,” he explains, trying to be gentle in how he says it, “is that it can trigger your body to try really, really hard to go into heat. And when your body can’t do that, that’s when you can start to get into really dangerous complications. Like having seizures and going into shock. Your organs can even start shutting down.” He instantly sees the terror in Bucky’s features and he hates it, wishes so badly that he didn’t have to be so honest with him. But federal legislation requires it. "That's why you had a seizure last night. It's why you're so sick."

Bucky’s lips are parted, not knowing what to say. “But I … I never … I didn’t know that?” He looks scared as his eyes flick around the room, always returning to Steve like a beacon. Vulnerably, he stutters, “Is ... is that happening to me? Organ failure?”

Steve knows he can’t lie to him, so he takes a deep breath and says, “I did conduct an internal exam and an ultrasound on you, when you were sedated last night.” He can see the humiliation in Bucky’s features as he realizes what this means. Steve presses on, “Many of your reproductive organs are inflamed or infected, from trying to make your body do what it’s supposed to do, but can’t.”

“Because of the suppressants,” Bucky murmurs.

“Yeah, Honey. Because of the suppressants.” Steve wishes so badly that he didn’t have to inform him, “There’s ... a chance that you could be unable to have children. In the future.”

The omega keens high in his throat, a noise that he has no control over and which Steve’s nature also has no control over how it instinctively responds to it.

One of Steve’s hands leaves Bucky and flies up to his own neck, where the expired sup patch is still adhesed to his skin. He grits his teeth, thinking that he most definitely needs a new one.

Steve is salaried higher for his usefulness as an alpha on this ward, but then again, he’s not usually dealing with eighteen year old boys who have no clue what independent sexual decision making is. “It’s okay,” he soothes him, voice swooping low and smooth. He starts up a deep, dominant rumble in his chest to help calm the boy. “We don’t know anything for sure yet, okay? You were very swollen when I looked at you. Your body needs a chance to rest and heal before we can know what we’re looking at, long term.” Steve can smell the intense distress of the omega at the possibility of no longer being fertile. Even if it’s something Bucky’s never considered before, it’s the boy’s innate nature to become defensive if such a thing is threatened.

“Is this all because of —” Bucky cuts himself off, clearly struggling. He won’t even meet Steve’s eyes as he forces himself to ask, “Is this happening because I had sex?”

Steve goes very still, his advocate training kicking into gear. “Did you have sex?” he asks gently. "Or did someone hurt you? Because it's not sex if you're not a willing participant. Then it's assault." Given what he knows about the cult Bucky’s been in, he finds it extremely unlikely that the boy would have had willing intercourse with a penetrative partner. Male omegas in that situation would be groomed to believe that that part of themselves was shameful and to be repressed at all costs.

In the bed, Bucky is looking tinier by the second, drawing into himself. He shakes his head frantically. “N-no. No. I said no.”

Steve watches him sadly. “Okay, Honey. Okay. Did somebody force themself on you?” Bucky starts to make that high keening sound again, the sound of an omega in intense distress, and Steve hurriedly adds, “You don’t have to tell me who it was. You don’t, I promise. Okay? But if somebody hurt you, you should blame them, not have to call it sex or feel bad that —”

“Mmn, mmmm mnn.” Bucky is shaking his head fast, face red and pained and looking like he wants to disappear into the cracks of the earth. “No,” he breathes, “Nno. I said no. They did it. The ... those guys. They did it.”

Steve's heart sinks all over again. More than one. He's dealt with cases of gang rape, but never with a patient so young. And never with a virgin. Fuck.

Bucky's scared eyes flick back to Steve’s face. “Oh god. Is that why I’m sick?” He cringes as if it’s the worst, most humiliating thing in the world. “Because they got their … their stuff inside me?”

Steve nods reluctantly, so sorry to have to tell him so. “It’s not your fault, Baby. It’s got nothing to do with you or how you feel about them. It’s just biology. Your body responds to it. It wouldn’t even be that strong normally, but after being suppressed for so many years, it’s almost like an allergic reaction.” Steve winces. “Your body’s overcompensating.” He can see how the poor boy’s about to burst into tears, so he gets up from the chair and sits on the side of the hospital bed, pulling Bucky’s hand and his whole lower arm against himself. His chest is emitting a low grade alpha rumble, but it’s only on the periphery of his notice. “Bucky,” he tells him tenderly, waiting until the boy looks up at him. “Hey, I’m sure there are so many things you’ve not been allowed to know about your body and how it works.” Bucky blushes hard but Steve presses on imploringly, “Most importantly that there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of with your designation. It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s beautiful, and it’s yours.”

Bucky’s eyes spill over with more tears. “I wish I didn’t grow up there,” he whispers, and then he pitches himself forward at Steve’s body, crying, hanging onto the front of him and stuffing his face in his chest, against his lab coat and scrubs. “I hate them!” he gasps, voice choked with sadness. “I h-hate them!”

It takes everything in Steve to not say 'Me too'. Instead he just rubs the omega’s back and lets him cry against his body, telling him that everything is going to be alright now, everything is okay, he’s safe.

Because if Steve knows anything, it’s that he’ll kill to keep this kid away from the people who did this to him.

Story Masterlist

Masterlist

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[samsseptember]

☆ Day 6 - Hurt/Comfort ☆

[yourtearsaremyink]

It's Just This Once

Chapter 1

Hey everyone! This is my first post. This work is finished but I will be uploading the chapters weekly. (I don't really know how Tumblr works so if y'all have suggestions or tips let me know)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Not many. Bucky and his PTSD, my life choices to write this, nightmares, Bucky's regret and self hatred. Idk. There's not even language in this thing its mostly fluff.

Summary: Y/N is an Avenger, she has healing powers and uses them to patch up the rest of the team. Bucky never asks her to use her healing powers on him, except once.

Chapter Word Count: 1,912

Chapter 1: Take the Pain Away

Y/N was working in her little corner of the medical wing of the newly built Avengers Compound. All was right in her little world, well as right as her world could be since reappearing after a five year absence. 

Everyone was trying their hardest to go back to normal but adapting to a life without Steve, Tony, and Natasha was far from it. Shortly before Tony and Steve's fallout, Y/N was recruited by Fury to join the Avengers Initiative. He had somehow figured out she was an enhanced and convinced her to join the team. She had hid her abilities so well in the past she had no idea how a man she had never met before found out about them. Y/N had the extraordinary ability to heal others, it had taken an insane amount of time, energy, and focus to master her powers. With the help of Wanda she had also been able to unlock another talent. She had intuition that was insanely on point so she could guide her teammates on their missions. Natasha had taught her some martial arts moves and Steve taught her how to protect herself in a fight. Y/N soon became part of the family and finally found a place where she belonged, but after a few billion people came back from nothingness, her family seemed to narrow down. She had fought in the battle against Thanos and tried, had really tried, to heal Tony with her powers but in the end it wasn't enough. She couldn't help but feel a little responsible for his death. When the battle was over and Steve left to be with the love of his life, he left so many friends behind. If Y/N couldn't heal Tony's physical wounds, maybe she could heal the emotional wounds he and Steve left behind. 

Shortly after the battle she became close with the remaining Avengers. She helped guide Sam on missions as the new Captain America, she comforted Wanda after her little outburst in Westview, she even got to know Bucky a bit more. Sam had convinced him to live at the new Compound with him instead of being alone in an old apartment in Brooklyn. Every so often Sam and Bucky would limp into the med bay in need of healing. She had healed Sam several times and Wanda a few but never Bucky. He always said she shouldn't waist her energy on him, and she always replied with, "It's no trouble at all, it doesn't take that much energy." Bucky would brush it off and say his advanced healing would take care of his injuries in no time. She never really pushed it, considering what he's been through with people messing with his body, it didn't surprise her when he didn't want to be helped.

Today was nothing unusual when Sam came into the med bay with an arm around Bucky and the other around his side. Y/N hopped up from the seat at her desk and began walking to the two men.

"What did you do this time?"

"This idiot took a bullet for me." Bucky spoke up as he helped Sam into a bed.

"Hey don't be mad at me for saving your life." Sam snapped back. He was taking off part of his uniform so Y/N could assess the injury properly.

"I have better healing than you, I would have been just fine." Bucky countered.

"I'll be fine! I have the best healer in the world right here, right doc?" Sam shot a quick smirk at Y/N as she started to heal him. A light purple glow emitted from her hands as she closed the wound on Sam's torso.

"Just because I can heal you in seconds doesn't mean you can be reckless."

Sam's smirk faded as Bucky gave a short "Ha" in victory. Y/N noticed Bucky was holding his left arm with his right and had a few bruises on his face.

"I could always heal you too Bucky if you need it."

"It's fine doll, these bruises will be gone in a couple hours." He said as he gestured to his face. Y/N turned her attention back to Sam as she finished up her work.

"All done." She said as she removed her hands. "Go clean up, Wanda and I are making dinner soon."

She grabbed a cloth and wiped some of the blood off her hands.

"You're the best doc. " Sam gave her a quick hug and headed out with Bucky. As they left she saw how tight the muscles in Bucky's were. With all of the experience Y/N had with healing people, she was able to see how much he was hurting. It could just be the stress of the mission so she didn't think much of it. 

Later that evening while Y/N was cooking with Wanda, she once again noticed Bucky. At this point she couldn't tell if it was just stress or flat out pain. Sam was tapping away at his laptop sending a report on the mission to Fury. He didn't seem to notice the tight expression Bucky was wearing. Bucky was absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder where metal met flesh, he looked exhausted.

"You good Buck?"

He glanced up at her removing his hand from his shoulder and said,

"Yeah, I'm fine. " with a half hearted smile.

She hoped that a warm meal would help. Y/N loved to cook, especially with Wanda, she loved seeing people's faces when they ate the food she made. Pretty much everyone else was away from the compound so it was just the four of them. Wanda had suggested they make soup since Autumn came out of nowhere and settled in New York. They set the table and listened to Sam talk about the mission he and Bucky had just endured. Bucky let Sam do all the talking for once and kept quite happily enjoying the warm food. The creases in his features slowly melted away as he finished the soup. Once the story was finished and the dining room was cleaned up, everyone said their goodnights and started off to their rooms, all expect Y/N.

"You're not going to sleep?" Wanda had asked when she saw Y/N going towards the elevator instead of her room.

"I have some work left to finish since I was so rudely interrupted earlier." She had turned her head to Sam with a smile.

"Hey don't come at me." He said with his hands up in a surrendering gesture as he walked to his room.

She gave a small laugh, "Goodnight guys." 

Y/N headed down to her lab and picked up where she left off. She was running some lab work on some blood samples when she heard thunder shake the building. It startled her enough for her to nearly drop her test tube. Soon after she heard rain begin to pound on the walls of the Compound. She glanced at the clock as it struck 1:00 am.

"Just a little longer." She whispered as she resumed her work. 

Bucky was sitting in his bed when he heard Thunder boom outside his window. He hadn't slept since coming to his room, too stressed from the mission and in too much pain. He knew the rain was coming, he felt it in his bones, but that didn't make it any less unsettling. He truly felt like an old man knowing rain was coming by the way his prosthetic arm felt. The mission had caused a few unpleasant memories to resurface and that made his mind uneasy. All of that combined together resulted in a dull headache and an unbearable amount of phantom pain in his left arm. His shoulder was throbbing and it felt as if he was being stabbed by a hundred needles where his metal arm occupied where his flesh should be. His breathing was laboured and heavy, he was so close to a panic attack it wasn't even funny. The weather hadn't helped either, it made him feel cold and achey. He tried so hard to keep it together but the pain became too much. He needed relief and there was one person he could think of to help. He hated the idea of Y/N using her healing powers on him when she could use them for something much more valuable. He didn't want to inconvenience her with his pain but it was becoming agonizing. He sat and thought it over for a few more minutes when he finally caved and made his way down to her lab. He stood at the door and sighed,

"It's just this once."

Y/N was just about finished when she heard a small knock at the lab entrance. She got up and walked towards the door, she wasn't expecting to see Bucky when she opened it. He stood with his hand clutching his metal shoulder, his hair was unkempt and he had bags under his eyes.

"Hey, I thought you went to bed. Is everything okay?"

"Uh, not really. I hate to ask you this, especially this late, but-"

Suddenly thunder echoed through the lab and Bucky squeezed his eyes shut and his breath began to shake, using his hand to add more pressure to his shoulder.

"My shoulder hurts, and my arm too kinda." He looked down not wanting to meet her eyes.

"Like phantom pain?" She questioned

"Y-yeah, it feels like pins and needles. The vibranium feels heavy."

"Are you asking me to help you?" She asked in disbelief.

"I-if you don't want to that's fine I can manage."

"No, no come in, sit down."

She led him to one of the beds and guided his hand off his shoulder, eager to work on the one person she hadn't helped.

He winced in pain as he moved, his hand letting up the pressure it was omitting on his upper arm.

"Sorry," she stepped back for a second, "I need you to take off your shirt." In the dimly lit lab she could see him blush a little. "It'll be better if I have direct contact to the skin."

He complied, slowly and painfully taking off his blue Henley. She walked around to the side of the bed to begin.

"I'm just going to put my hands on your shoulder, okay?"

He gave a very tight nod and she began. Her hands danced across the mess of scar tissue where metal crept into his skin. She couldn't help but felt bad for what Hydra did to him. His breath hitched but his back slowly became more relaxed. She could feel his heart rate slowing and his breath even out.

"I'm halfway done, are you okay? " she was concerned. She had never been able to do this for Bucky before and didn't know how he'd react.

"Mhmm." he seemed content.

She stopped and moved to his front to place her hands on his collar bone. She tried not to make it too awkward by making eye contact but she glanced up anyway and met his blue eyes. They both quickly looked away and Y/N turned her attention back to his arm. She stopped when she felt she couldn't do anything more to help with the pain.

"Done, does that feel better?"

He immediately brought her in for a hug and whispered a quite,

"Thank you."

She hugged back happily,

"You're welcome."

It gets better I promise. It was originally a one shot but it evolved.

[jbarneswilson]

title: the phantom weight

rating: not rated

characters: sam wilson and bucky barnes

summary: It’s easy, during the day, to push aside all those who have been lost on his watch. But the night is a different story entirely.

read it here

[irondadfics]

hi! i’ve been looking for this fic for a ridiculous amount of time for some reason i didn’t bookmark it, but basically it’s post endgame, tony lives although he’s in a coma, but somehow peter ends up on the outside of it, there was a brief interaction with pepper, and he stays in the town for a bit before happy kicks him out? he can’t find may, and it isn’t until tony wakes up from the coma that they realize they completely neglected peter. i think that sam took him to his old apartment building but may wasn’t there and it was later revealed that may was dead? thank you so much, i’ve been searching for so long, please help-

here you go, enjoy!

Paradise by last_of_her_kind

After the battle and Thanos is defeated, all Peter wants to do is go home. Except... it turns out he doesn't have a home anymore. Aunt May is gone, and the only family Peter might have left is in a hospital recovering from saving the universe. All Peter wants is to fall into Mr. Stark's arms and let him fix everything, but Tony has his own life now. A life Peter hasn't been a part of for five years. He can see the new family Tony has built for himself, and through a series of misunderstandings, Peter comes to the conclusion that there isn't any room left for him. But Peter is used to the short end of the stick. He can survive this... can't he? Being on the outside?

[thesugarclubs-blog]

Put A Little Love on Me - Sam Wilson x OC

warnings: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, air force friends, soft smut, 18+

word count: 8.4k

WP: https://www.wattpad.com/1437355323-put-a-little-love-on-me-lane

vibe: "That's not fair, Sam," she whispered, hugging her arms around her middle, her fingers gripping into the fabric of her dress.

Sam shook his head and stepped closer to her, chewing on the inside of his cheek, "No it's not, but it's all I had. We promised we'd always have each other no matter what happened. After everything you helped me through when Riley -" his words cut off and her let out a breath, keeping his dark eyes on hers, "I just wanted to be able to help you the way you helped me," he finished

Masterlist

A few raps sounded at his bedroom door as he changed his tie once more. 

“Mr. Wilson, sir?” Sam smiled  at Peter’s voice coming from the other side. “I don’t mean to rush you but Barnes-”

“Completely means to!” 

Bucky’s exasperated voice boomed through the first floor of the compound interrupting him causing Sam to snort out a laugh as he tightened his tie and looked over himself quickly in the mirror. The soft pink tie he had finally landed on looked great  against the crisp navy suit he had chosen for tonight. 

They had been invited to a spring gala in honor of the Armed Forces tonight and they’d asked him, as Captain America and former Air Force, to say a few words. 

“Looking good Wilson, looking good.” He winked at himself before pocketing his phone and wallet to head out the door. 

Sam made his way over to where Bucky was sitting alongside Peter in the common room, looking like he was going to burst into flames as the youngest showed him something on his phone excitedly. 

“Don’t scare him off Parker, he might bail on us.”  

His partner rolled his eyes and cleared his throat before standing and running a hand through his hair. 

Sam whistled, “You know for a person who didn’t wanna go you clean up real nice Buckaroo.” 

“Don’t push your luck Sam,” he replied pointedly. 

“But where’s the fun in that?” Sam grinned as he grabbed his coat and headed for the door. “Are you guys coming?” He asked innocently, just catching the way Bucky glowered, unimpressed, as he followed with a heavy trudge. 

The car waited outside, tinted windows and a security detail that felt entirely unnecessary and did little to ease Sam’s nerves. It’s not that he hated public speaking, it was a given now, but the cause for tonight was important. It sat close to his heart, in both pride and heartbreak, and he just hoped the small speech he had prepared did it justice.

As the cavalcade approached the Plaza, Bucky looked through the tinted glass and whistled. "Very fancy Sammy boy." The car pulled up in front of the huge double doors, the red carpet lined with press and reporters. "And they're all here for you." As the door opened Bucky held his arm out, "After you, I insist," he smirked to Sam, "Me and the boy will just hang here until the heat dies down." 

"So much for moral support, " Sam complained, over his shoulder as he stepped out of the car. The camera flashes and the cacophony of voices that greeted him confirmed that Bucky had the right idea.

He took a breath and transformed his face into the friendly, all-American grin that he knew the public loved and stepped forward. He held his arms out slightly, as if he were about to give the crowd a hug, and then waved. Here, there, up to the right, wherever he heard his name called as he slowly but resolutely made his way towards the doors of the building.

His right hand went to the watch on his left wrist and he surreptitiously fingered the tiny control panel. Gasps of delight came from the crowd as Redwing swooped down and performed some aerial acrobatics, guiding Sam the rest of the way to the doors through a chorus of cheers and applause.

Once inside, he took a moment to steel himself with a breath as everyone in attendance bustled around the room; taking pictures, grabbing glasses of champagne from trays. He took his phone out quickly typing out a text to Bucky and Peter letting them know he’d find their table. As soon as Bucky responded, he pocketed his phone and made sure his speech paper was still  safely tucked inside his jacket pocket before making his way through the crowd of attendees.

He scanned the room until he found the seating chart by the bar — open, he hoped — and found their names under table number one, right front and centre. 

The table was still empty when he arrived, eight exquisitely laid places and a beautifully crafted centrepiece. Sam wandered around the table, searching out his name and slid into his seat, just taking a moment of calm before he would inevitably be thrown into the fray. 

Bucky and Peter’s voices mingled with the music as they bustled over behind him. 

“I was waiting for a text so we could sneak in, Wilson. Do you know how many hands I had to shake tryin’ to find you?” Bucky grumbled, slumping into the chair beside him.

Sam cocked an eyebrow, a smirk tugging at his lips, "Poor little super soldier, having to mingle and get appreciated"

The small stifled laugh from Peter caused a chuckle to bubble from his lips as Bucky rolled his eyes. Sam knew the spotlight was something Bucky was still getting used to and for the most part he always supported his friend's decision to hide in the shadows but with their recent successes and their new team growing, he'd have to accept the supportive attention, even if it was just for one night.

"To be fair Bucky, you were the one who insisted every man for himself," Peter started to explain, before seeing the look Bucky was sending him and pulling himself short. "I know, shut up kid, " he finished, pushing his chair backwards, he stood and suggested, "should I to go see if they have any Asgardian Mead?"

"Good idea, kid," Bucky replied, "I've a feeling I'm going to need it."

"You need to go easy tonight Buck," Sam advised.

"I know how to behave in polite society," Bucky shook his head at Sam, "I was brought up by a lady and know how to treat the dames."

“Rule number one,” Sam countered, “don’t call ‘em dames. They don’t like that anymore.” 

“Aw, shucks! That’s why I can’t get a date.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the rest of the room. It was probably time to get this show on the road, be the man of the people and shake some hands. 

“I’m gonna go mingle, hold down the fort and don’t let Parker drink.” He pointed a finger at Bucky as he stood. Brushing his hands down his suit, he took a deep breath and headed towards Rhodey, the first face he’d recognised since he walked in.

Clapping his friend on the back, Sam grinned his signature grin and extended his hand to the two council members that Rhodey was talking too, "Gentleman, I hope my friend here isn't boring you with his tank story, again," 

"That story is a classic and always kills," Rhodey defended as the men with him laughed, shaking their heads. 

"Only to people who haven't heard it ten times," one of them retorted with a booming laugh. 

Sam nudged his shoulder into his friends with a smirk as the conversation moved on to the recent PR that was needed for their growing team and how it was going to be handled. They wanted Kate and Yelena to make appearance's at schools and Peter needed to do tech presentations, stepping into the shoes that Tony had left for him. But something caught Sam's attention, and the councilman's words drifted out to a dull whisper. 

A girl with soft brunette waves stood by the bar in a navy blue satin gown, her deep chocolate brown eyes trained on his with a soft smile playing on her lips as she took a sip from her wine glass. Sam's chest squeezed as his mind jolted to the last time he'd laid eyes on the girl in front of him. The soft goodbye she'd whispered into his ear, and the press of her lips to his cheek before she'd walked out for her last mission. The day she'd walked out the door, taking his heart with her. 

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good, we'll talk about it Monday," Sam mumbled, squeezing Rhodey's shoulder, "Will you excuse me?" He didn't wait for an answer before he walked away, his tunnel vision setting in as the rest of the room faded.

His heart rate picked up with each step he took towards her. Sam slowed to a stop in front of her, those eyes he'd fallen into time and time again trail up and down the navy suit he wore. "Lanie?" Sam breathed out her name like an unanswered prayer and her smile only grew. 

"I'm a little disappointed you didn't wear the wings." She quipped, taking a sip of her drink. 

He was too busy admiring just how much more beautiful she had gotten since the last time he saw her for her words to register and when they did he couldn't help but chuckle. "Shoot, I left them in the car." 

Lane laughed and the sound hit deep in his core. The feelings he had bottled up and tucked away started to bubble in his chest as her laughter slowed and it was just the two of them. 

"You look good, Sam," Lane said softly.

"This old thing," he gulped, trying to get his racing heart under control.

 Lane had always had this effect on him, even before the feeling was mutual. Just a look from her in his direction or a parting of her lips sent his pulse through the roof. Lane had been so weary of the guys in their squadron, conscious that they were a bunch of entitled A-holes, who made a female pilot work twice as hard for the privilege of wearing the wings.

 She'd finished in the top 5%  of their class, proving herself and nabbing a commission most of the other flyers could only dream of. When Sam had transferred to Dulles Air Force base a year after graduating he'd been delighted to discover not only was Lane still there but had blossomed into a confident, pack up your shit and take a hike, no-nonsense lady. Well-liked and respected by her squad, she had remembered Sam fondly and had been happy to show him the ropes and eventually allowed him to take her out for a drink.

“You, uh… you look good too, Lanie,” Sam murmured softly, taking her in properly. She’d always been beautiful, even with her hair in the regulation bun, slicked back and shining with gel and a fresh face. Now though, he wasn’t sure he could be in her vicinity much longer without a drink in his hand. 

“Thanks, big shot,” she smiled, that heart-stopping, flirty thing that always sent his heart a flutter. “How is that going? Being Cap?” 

Sam sucked in a breath. “Big shoes to fill,” he chuckled as Lane caught his elbow gently, leading him towards the bar. 

“And yet they fit you so well, Sam,” she replied, “I certainly had no doubt they would.”

A familiar fluttering filled his chest as Sam felt a blush creeping up his neck, “Thanks Lanie, that uh, means a lot coming from you” 

She smiled again, that smile that was seared into his brain from the first moment they met at training camp. A smile that brightened the room and dulled away all the worries that plagued his heart since taking up the mantle. 

“And you,” Sam cleared his throat, as his tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips, “I hear you’re basically running the program now, but not flying anymore what’s that about?” 

A flash of a pained expression crossed her face, before she covered it with a soft smirk and shook her head, “you keeping tabs on me, Wilson?” She questioned, teasingly.

His heart flipped at the question. He had been keeping tabs on her, a small obsession and mainly just to make sure she was still kicking. "You know how airmen and women are." 

Lane raised a brow, "and what about you? Any new aliens I should know about." 

Sam chuckled and shook his head thankful for the change of subject. If she knew just how much he had been following her career on his own it would open that can of worms they decided to close a long time ago. "Androids maybe, aliens..." he shook his head, "not as of late."

"Good to know the world's in safe hands." She turned to the bartender. "Can I get an Old Fashioned and...?"

"Just a beer for me," Sam ordered. The area around the bar was getting crazy busy, with other attendees pressing against them trying to get served. 

Lane passed him his beer and stepped away from the bar, taking a gulp of her drink, she then motioned her glass towards the balcony doors. "I need to get some air, it's a little warm in here." She turned away from him and took another couple of steps. "It really is lovely to see you Sam," she smiled, a shy smile which reminded him so much of their first time together. "Maybe we don't leave it so long next  time."

He wanted to say something else, to follow after her. To continue the conversation that he craved so desperately but he could see she needed out. She had never quite fit in events like these. She was beautiful and good at pretending she was social but Sam could see the obligatory scowl flicker to her face when the important people weren't looking. Same old Lane. Wanted to be anywhere else than where she had to be. 

Sam spent the night fielding questions from politicians, and making sure his overgrown, chaotic dates, Bucky and Peter, stayed out of the mead. It wasn't until he was sitting alone with his third beer in the wind and the band started to play the after dinner music that he realized his mind had been on Lane all night. She floated around the room, avoiding the big crowds and speaking directly to a few important people but it never lasted long and she disappeared as quickly as she appeared. 

"Why don't you ask her to dance?" Peter slumped down into the chair beside Sam. "I've been watching you, watching her all night." 

"I haven't been watching no-one, Squirt." Sam brushed him off but his eyes found her again, slender curves and bright, fake smile as she awkwardly shook hands with another man. 

"She looks like she needs saving," Peter shrugged. 

But Lane had never needed saving, not really. 

"Chicken," Peter resorted to name calling and as soon as he turned on him the squawking stopped.

“I will put you on mission laundry duty,” Sam threatened, “and I know for a fact Barnes leaves his go-bag far longer than he should between washes. Every. Single. Time.”

Peter shuddered and Sam cackled as the younger man scurried away to the bar. 

“No mead!” Sam called after him before his gaze fell back to Lane. She was holding her own against the man, a Sergeant in full dress who was pushing his luck with how close he was standing. It wasn’t until his hand skimmed across the small of Lane’s back and she stepped out of his reach that Sam chugged back the rest of his beer and heaved himself up. 

“Not saving her, just deterring the creep,” he muttered to himself as he headed in their direction.

"Sergeant, I think it's important to remember we are in the company of many of our superiors." Lane reminded the man with that sickly sweet smile that to others seemed just polite, but Sam knew the venom around it. 

The man was just about to part his lips to counter when Sam stepped to her side, "Sir I believe Rhodey was looking for you." 

He frowned and shook his head walking away from them. 

"I didn't need saving Cap." Lane said after a moment when the man was out of earshot.

"No you didn't, but he did. I remember when you almost roundhoused a guy who thought touching you was a god given right." Sam responded, "And as you say, we're surrounded by superiors."

"That was a lifetime ago Sam, the new me doesn't get violent, I just get even. Unfinished business and all that." She bit her lower lip and looked like she wanted to say more, but took another sip of her drink instead.

Sam watched as another uniform approached her from behind and instead of leaving her to the dogs like she so clearly wanted to be Sam extended his hand. 

"How about a dance?" He asked. 

Lane eyed his hand, thoughts swirled around behind those pretty eyes and then she downed her drink and set it aside and slid her hand into his. 

"You still step on toes?" She teased and Sam huffed. "I'll take that as a yes."

“Hasn’t stopped you before,” Sam quipped, leading her onto the dance floor and Lane laughed lightly. 

“I’m a risk taker, Wilson. It’s like you don’t know me at all.” 

The music grew louder the closer they got to the band, big brass swelling around the crooning of the singer they’d hired. Sam pulled Lane closer, holding her slender frame against his body as they began to sway gently. 

“Now, I don’t know about that, Lanie. You’ve never hidden yourself from me.”

"That you know of." Lane smirked up at him, her long hair cascading down her back as her chin lifted to look up at him. Those dark eyes finding his, "I'm pretty good at keeping secrets." 

Sam raised a brow, "you can't keep a secret for the life of you." 

She grinned up at him again, a mischievous look behind her eyes, "that you know of."

Sam led Lane around the dance floor, the two of them in comfortable silence, but he was sure she could see the words brewing in his eyes, something he had been dying to offload ever since they parted ways. 

He cleared his throat, pulling her closer to him so that their cheeks met, entwining their fingers so that there was no escaping his nearness. "Before, when you mentioned unfinished business, did you mean us? Is that what we are?"

"What do you think, Sam?" she asked softly, "Are we unfinished or was this over a long time ago?"

Sam felt his breath catch in his throat before speaking, "You tell me, Lane. I wasn't the one who took a mission and didn't come home."

"That's unfair Sam," She said, "you know what it's like on those missions..." She trailed off. Her hands tight in Sam's as they spun in a lazy circle. 

"Out there, sure," Sam answered, "but you came home, all I expected was a phone call." 

"Phone calls can still be hard when you don't know what to say," She hummed and let him spin her out and away from him, before gently bringing her back against his chest. Her back molded to his front as their cheeks pressed together as they silently worked through all those hard unspoken emotions. 

"We were never very good at talking anyways, Lanie."

Sam felt the reverberation of her hum through his chest and he turned his head, letting his lips graze lightly over her jaw. 

“Sam,” she said softly, her breath hitching. 

“Tell me you didn’t want it to be over,” he whispered lowly, “because I know I didn’t.” 

Lane tensed in his arms and Sam sighed. He should have known. 

“Sam, you have a speech to make soon. Let’s not do this now, please? Just dance with me a little longer.”

"Give me something, Lane," he was battling to keep his voice neutral. He was sure that once he left her to make his speech, she'd take off again. 

"I can't do this here, tonight Sam. Just for now let's pretend that we're a couple," she rested her head against his shoulder and Sam tightened his hold on her slightly as she turned her face and rubbed her nose up and down his neck. If Sam  closed her eyes, he could imagine that he was her wingman, murmuring sweet nothings in her ear, making her shudder with want. 

When she spun away this time, her fingers slipped from his and just like before she slipped into the crowd and away from him. 

He made to go after her when the crowd parted and the mic screeched over the heads of everyone, "everyone please welcome to the stage our very own Captain America, Sam Wilson!" 

Sam nodded, turning on his heal and painting a smile on his face and raised his hand in the air making his way to the stage to do his speech but his mind wandered to his Lanie, where she would have run off to and how far he'd have to go to chase her down this time.

Jogging up the steps to the microphone, Sam squinted against the lights and gathered his wit, feeling a little out of sorts now. 

Under the attention of literally everyone in the room, he cleared his throat and patted down his pocket for his speech as his eyes settled on Bucky and Peter, the two of them lounging at their table with tumblers that were definitely filled with the Agardian mead he told them to steer clear of. Bucky grinned up at him and flashed two over-enthusiastic thumbs up and Peter cupped his hands around his mouth, whooping and cheering far too loudly for such a dignified gala. 

Still, it settled something within him and he dragged his eyes across the room, telling himself he wasn’t searching for her as he unfolded the piece of paper in his hand.

His entire speech felt distant, like he was on autopilot as he said the words and the crowd laughed from time to time. When the applause started and he folded the paper back up his heart raced with one last scan of the crowd. It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of navy satin disappearing out onto one of the balconies that he finally took a breath and followed her outside.

As he tried to make his way through the crowd, people clapped him on the back and stepped in front of him to comment on his speech. His eyes stayed trained on the balcony door, politely and professionally stepping around everyone who got in his way. He'd fight his way through an alien battlefield if it meant Lane was waiting for him on the other side. The glimmer of hope that clung to his chest drew him forward, through everything. 

Stepping out into the fresh spring breeze, Sam felt his breath catch in his throat once more as the moonlight shimmered on across her gown and illuminated her eyes, "Leaving me again so soon, Lanie?" he commented. 

"That's not fair, Sam," she whispered, hugging her arms around her middle, her fingers gripping into the fabric of her dress. 

Sam shook his head and stepped closer to her, chewing on the inside of his cheek, "No it's not, but it's all I had. We promised we'd always have each other no matter what happened. After everything you helped me through when Riley -" his words cut off and her let out a breath, keeping his dark eyes on hers, "I just wanted to be able to help you the way you helped me," he finished.

She stood there, throat bobbing. 

"Listen, I don't want to spend anymore time here and I don't think you do either. I did my speech, I paid my dues," Sam stepped forward, "why don't we go home?" 

Sam watched as her whole body tensed at his use of the word. He knew what he was doing, they had never lived together but home was less of a place for the two of them, more of a feeling. "You can talk," Sam said quietly but firmly as he reached out to her, "I can listen."

He watched the tears pool in her eyes as they darted softly across his face, almost like she was looking for the man he was all those years ago. Trying so hard to ground herself before putting her hand in his. Lane never did like showing her feelings, she always felt like she couldn’t and he could only hope to make her feel as safe as she did for him.

"Damn you, Sam Wilson," she muttered, but there was a soft, tentative smile on her face as she threaded her fingers with his. "If we're gonna do this, I need the greasiest, cheesiest burger you can get around here."

"I'll do you one better. You come back to the compound with me and I'll cook you up somethin' special, maybe somethin' from my Mama's secret recipe stash." 

"You mean Sarah finally shared them with you?" Lane chuckled, her eyes still glistening. "God, I used to love going home with you for that cooking." 

"Just for the cooking?" Sam replied, flashing her his best smile as Lane rolled her eyes. "What do you say, Lanie? We're both here, now, and if this is the only chance we get..."

"Take me home, bird boy," Lane smirked playfully, squeezing his hand gently. 

Another swarm of butterflies fluttered against Sam's rib cage at the familiar nickname he'd earned from his friends back on base. He let out a loud laugh, throwing his head back, "Oh that's what we're doing now?" 

Smiling brightly, Lane hummed and nodded once, bumping her shoulder into his as she dragged him back towards the door. Sam shook his head once more as he followed, tucking the two of them close to the wall as they snuck through the crowded room. Only a few people tried to catch his attention but there was nothing that was going to take him away from escaping with his girl.

The car was waiting out front and when he finally had her in the back seat it was like a tidal wave of relief had washed over him. He always knew how much he missed her, but seeing her here, ready and finally willing to just talk to him. It was different. He couldn't explain how real it all felt. So he kept his hand tucked in hers, craving the sensation of her skin until he could get her alone. 

Lane was nervous, he could feel it in her touch when she squeezed his hand with worry. He couldn't even remember the last time she had gone home with him. 

God he had missed her. "We're almost there," he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

Lane smiled, small and tight, when the car pulled in through the security gate and she peered out the window at the sprawling compound. Once parked up, Sam helped her out, tucking her under his arm as they headed through the front door and through to the common room. 

The place was in relative darkness, the soft lighting usually set for night time, and Sam caught the way Lane’s shoulders fell, tension physically oozing out of her. 

“Take a seat,” he murmured softly, “I’ll open a bottle of red.”

He wandered over to the small wine storage, searching for the bottle of Lane’s favourite he knew he kept for memory’s sake, when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sliding it out, he was met with a selfie of Bucky the idiot took when Sam wasn’t looking — Peter’s doing really, he’s sure — and he brushed his thumb across the screen to quickly take the call. 

“Are you allowed to bail on your own gala?”Bucky asked immediately, “at least tell me you’re alive.”

Sam breathed out a short laugh, "Alive and well, Buck. Just something I need to take care of," he smiled softly, grabbing the wine bottle off the shelf and turning it over in his hands. 

"Something or someone?" Bucky pressed, the hint of a joke in his grumpy voice, "If I have to stay here, I don't think it's fair that you got to leave, even the kid is leaving with Kate and Yelena, something about playing Kings" he grumbled, "but there's no royalty visiting the city,"

With a shake of his head, Sam couldn't help the roll of his eyes, "It's just a game Buck and you can leave too, just give the kitchen and common floor some space, I'll talk to you later" 

Letting out another laugh as he hung up his phone, Sam sauntered back into the living room presenting the wine bottle to Lane, with a proud smile, "Rippon Pinot Noir, just the way you like it,"

"Almost like you kept that sitting around in case I showed up," Lane teased but her voice was tight. 

"Better to be prepared than empty handed," Sam uncorked the wine. 

"Don't," Lane covered her glass with her hand, "straight out of the bottle or not at all," she smiled.

"Just like the good old days?" Sam nodded. 

"I wouldn't call them good, but they were days, and there was wine." Lane added, "and you."

"Then we got all we need," Sam replied softly as he took a seat beside her on the couch. Lane had kicked off her heels  and made herself comfortable, and something about that made him smile. That she could be so comfortable in his space again after so long apart. 

"So," she started, making grabby hands for the bottle and sipping it delicately. "Are you ready to listen?" 

"I'm all ears, sweetheart," he breathed, pressing his body against hers as offered him both the bottle of wine and her hand. He squeezed her fingers gently as Lane took a deep breath.

Lane turned her eyes down to their intertwined hands and swiped her tongue over her lips. Using two of his fingers, Sam lifted her gaze back up to meet his with a soft nod of his head, ensuring she knew that he was right there, whatever happened, he was with her. With a gentle smile ghosting her lips as her dark eyes skated over his face, Lane cleared her throat and began the story of her last mission. The amount of people they'd lost, and how she did everything to save as many as she could, but even the ones who came home didn't really. The emotion in her voice as she talked about her troops, the soft voice cracks and the small tear that escaped down her cheek made Sam's whole body ache. It was supposed to be a track and report mission, but it turned into a search and rescue. He'd been on difficult missions himself but this was something else all together. 

Sam wanted to gather her up in his arms and never let her go. To remind her that she was home and safe back in his arms. To tell her that he was never going to let anything bad happen to her again. 

"... I was shot out of the sky, just like Riley," she whispered, taking a small sip from the wine bottle in front of her, "My wings wrapped the wrong way and I just... fell. Shrapnel from the shot was lodged in my back with bits from my pack, if I hadn't been over water, I would've -" her voice broke again and Sam traced his thumb over her cheek, catching another tear. 

"There's a reason I didn't wear an open back dress tonight," Lane tried to joke, "The scars from surgery after surgery, it's not pretty Sam... and the - mental scars that I carry, it was too much to put on you. You were working with Steve Rogers when I got back, I wasn't about to swoop in and take that away just because I'm broken."

The words caught in Sam's throat, broken. He'd never once thought of Lane as anything but strong and fierce. Like a tidal wave. To hear her talk about herself in a way that was anything less than that, it broke down a wall inside of him.

"Show me, Lanie," He urged, knowing the chances of her saying no were high but he also knew that telling her that she was beautiful, unmarked and flawless. Those words would mean nothing to her, he needed to show her. "I'll show you mine," he added with a soft smile. 

"I've seen all your scars, Sam." She whispered, her fingers tighter around the bottle now. 

"I have some new ones," he returned the tease, trying to make her comfortable enough to give in and trust him just one more time.

"I don't know, Sam." Her voice was hushed, a quiet murmur in their little corner of the common room. 

"How about I go first?" He responded, and with the slight nod of Lane's head, Sam hopped to his feet and shrugged off his jacket, chucking it across the arm of the couch. She looked up then, her sad eyes fixed on his fingers as he worked quickly to undo his tie. Sam flashed her a grin, wiggling his eyebrows as if he were undressing for any other reason but to show off the jagged lines and mottled skin he carried with him now. And he'd do it a million times over if it meant Lane could see the beauty in the scars she carried herself. 

Once he reached the last button of his shirt, he let it hang open before he moved onto his belt, ridding himself of his clothes until he stood in nothing but his boxers and his socks and he began to point out his most recent scar, a long, freshly pink line that was a deep slit in his thigh just a few months ago. 

"Sam," Lane breathed, her breath hitching. 

"One for one?" Sam replied as he held his hand out, waiting patiently for her to take it, to trust him with her hurt like he had with her all those years ago.

Hesitantly, Lane placed her hand in his and stood, leaving a few inches between them as she spun slowly and paused with her back to him, looking over her shoulder, "could you help me?" She whispered. 

Sam trailed his fingers softly up her back until he reached the zipper of her dress, pulling it down agonizingly slowly. A long line of raised, discolored flesh ran along her spine, growing the lower he got. He stopped his fingers when he reached the end and Sam swallowed thickly, tracing his thumb over the scar that ran the entire length between her shoulder blades. 

 "Surgery number one," Lane breathed, leaning into his touch and meeting his gaze once more.

His breath caught in his throat as she let the dress slip from her hips and stepped out of it, turning around to face him. Her face was tight and every agonizing motion she felt was on display as she arched her neck and closed her eyes. "Number two," she whispered, showing him a fleshy twisted scar that spiraled over her bicep and cut into her shoulder. Sam couldn't believe the pain she must have endured from the fall. Not knowing if she was going to survive it, even worse the agony she must have felt waking up alone, completely transformed by the accident.

The strength she must have held, still held, to get through that. Sam would never know what it was like to come out the other side of something as intense as what Lane had been through, but he knew a little something about grief, about the loss of something and the heaviness you live with after as you rebuild your life. 

"I think you might be the strongest woman I know," he murmured, taking a small step closer. "but then, you always have been." 

Lane's mouth curved into a soft smile, not quite meeting her eyes as she reached for Sam's hand and brought his fingers to her stomach and around to the side of her waist. 

"Scar number three," she murmured, as she pressed the pads of Sam's fingers along the thick, raised line that stretched around to her back. "This one's from a piece of my pack that decided to embed itself in my side on impact."

"Lanie," her name came out as a breath as his fingers traced over her skin. 

Scar after scar, each and every little one a small reminder of everything she'd been through. Every moment he wasn't by her side to remind her how amazing she was to him. He didn't see the ugliness that she did, all Sam saw was a strong, incredible woman who had been through hell and stood taller because of it. He saw her. 

He used his free hand to place two fingers under her chin and bring her eyes up to meet his, "You're beautiful, Lane. Every piece of you. Inside and out. And I will show you that as many times as you need me too and more, if you'll let me," he spoke quietly, drawing her closer, pressing their bodies together.

Sam felt her tremble when he dipped his head and his lips pressed to the scar on her shoulder. Her entire body giving into the soft, slow praises in the form of kisses. A tiny moan slipped from her tired lips as Sam began to show her just how beautiful each scar was. 

"I missed you," he said, so quietly it might have been missed over the sound of their breathing but it was out there and it was true. "More than anything."

"I missed you too, Sam," she breathed, as she tilted her head back and to the side as Sam's lips trailed up her neck to her earlobe. 

His fingertips dug gently into her skin as he moved up and pressed his forehead to hers. He needed her. He needed her to understand just how much he missed her. Just how beautiful she was in his eyes. Sam swooped down, and lifted Lane into his arms, pulling a giggled from her perfect lips as she pulled back a little to look at him. 

Sam shook his head once, and rounded the couch, heading straight down the hallway to his bedroom. There was no way his first time with her was going to be on a couch or the floor of the living room. Those pesky butterflies tickled his chest once more the closer they got and he let the feeling of them wash over him just like her warm citrus scent. 

"Sam," Lane practically whined as she dipped her head and kissed a small scar he had on his collarbone.

Electricity shot down from his head to his toes as her lips touched his skin. He’d been waiting, dreaming of her back in his arms for so long and here she was, finally. His Lanie. 

He held her tighter reaching a hand out to open his door as quickly as possible, once inside he kicked the door shut and walked them over to his bed. Lane kissed a line up his neck as she ran her fingers delicately through his scalp. A shiver ran up his spine as she reached his jaw and pulled back to meet his eyes. He propped his knee on the mattress before softly laying Lanie against it. He stared at her, looking just like the angel she was to him with her hair spread out along the mattress. Her throat bobbed under his gaze, and her breaths picked up, Sam smiled at her soft and full of all the love he’d been holding onto for her. 

He pushed her legs open a bit with his leg before he settled into a hover atop her body, holding onto his weight he dipped his head and touched his nose to hers eliciting a gasp from her lips. 

“Can I kiss you Lanie, please?” He whispered, his heart pounding in his chest. 

“If you don’t I’m definitely gonna kiss you,” she said with a soft chuckle.

Sam didn't hesitate, dipping into her soft laughter and consuming it whole. He wanted everything. Her lips felt like heaven dancing against his as he cupped her face and tangled his fingers into her hair. He missed her so much that nothing else mattered, he barely remembered to breathe. Her mouth parted and he swiped his tongue against hers, deepening their connection as her hands roamed his chest and back. 

Her fingers dragged over his shoulder blades, tickling his skin and drawing a throaty laugh from him as he broke away. 

"I'm glad we haven't forgotten everything," he winked at her as he pulled away and started to work down her throat with his teeth and lips.

Her soft laugh turned into a breathy moan as he moved over her skin, paying attention to the little scars that littered it like a story of everything she'd overcome. "My strong," he dragged his lips across her collarbone, "incredible," a soft kiss to the scar on her shoulder, "beautiful, girl" he moved down to press his lips to the large scar on her side. 

Her breath picked up pace as her fingers trailed, "Baby please," Lane whispered, as her eyes followed him down her body, "Come back to me," 

Sam obeyed, stretching his body back up and capturing her lips with his with more passion than he knew what to do with. Everything he'd ever dreamed of was laying beneath him and it was his new mission to make her understand how much she meant to him.

Sam pulled his lips from hers with a soft tug of her bottom lip, pulling a whine from her with the action. He kissed along her jaw and down her neck the soft mewls coming from her pushing him forward. He reached the curve of her breasts and breathed in her scent, smiling against her skin. 

“Sam please,” Lane whispered. 

He pressed wet  kisses along her clothed breasts, flicking his tongue lightly along her pebbled nipples. He pulled back, smiling at her and moved a hand under her lifting her gently, pressing her chest flush against his. 

“I’m taking this off now, yes?” 

Lane nodded and took his lips in his in a feverish kiss.

Sam smiled against her skin as his fingers worked deftly at her bra, unhooking it with ease and tossing it aside. He palmed her breast and brought her exposed nipple between his lips, sucking gently until her hips arched into his touch. Her hands raked over his scalp as he massaged her chest. 

"What do you want?" He asked her, not knowing where to start himself. His touch was fuzzy against her warm skin and all he wanted to do was kiss her until she begged him to stop.

"You... just you," Lane breathed, moving her hips up into his, "touch me, baby, please" 

Sam groaned into her skin at her words, kissing his way down her body and stopping at the edge of her panties, "Can I take these off, beautiful?" he hummed. 

It still felt surreal to him that she was here, allowing him to explore her body and take in each and every sound she made for him. He wanted to savour the moment, remember every movement but his own body betrayed him. It ached to touch her and drink her in, to keep her skin pressed against his and make her whine his name over and over. 

With a nod of her head, Sam hooked his fingers into the sides and pulled them down her legs, pressing soft kisses along the way until he flung her panties across his room, landing them over a picture of him and Steve, making Lane giggle softly.

He sat back and admired her taking his time to commit every single inch of her body to memory. He wrapped his fingers delicately around her ankle lifting her leg up and pressing his lips to her calf with a teasing smile as she writhed under his touch. 

“Really, all this time and you wanna tease me now?” 

Sam breathed a laugh against her skin, pressing more kisses along her leg, inching closer to her center painfully slow even for himself. 

“I’m savoring you,” he hummed. “Two very different things, your cute little scowl is just a bonus.”

"This cute little scowl is impatient," Lane cooed at him but her words were swallowed by a sharp gasp. 

Sam's tongue flickered out over Lane, already so wet and sweet. He couldn't stop himself as his hand roamed over her hip and pressed against her stomach. He peered up at her, drinking in how euphoric she had become under his touch. He worked in slow circles that drew the sweetest sounds from her lips as he quickened in pace, chasing the sounds of her pleasure.

Lane’s hands ground him in place, soft but firm as her hips moved in sync with his tongue. Her moans filling the room as she whispered his name over and over like a prayer as she chased her high. Sam felt her tense up beneath him before he fingers reached for his cheek, calling his attention to her. 

“Sam please, I need to feel you,” She panted and he smiled pressing a kiss to her thigh, “Come here handsome.”

Despite wanting to please her, Sam took his time, kissing his way back up her body, paying specific attention to each scar that littered her torso. A soft whine escaped her lips and her soft hands found his cheeks as she gently tried to pull him back to her. 

"So impatient," Sam whispered, ghosting his lips up her throat and capturing her with his before she could say anything, tangling their tongues together and letting her taste her sweetness. 

He settled himself between her legs and teased her entrance with the head of his cock, ignoring his own throbbing to take in more of her beautiful pleading sounds. He hoped to any god listening that they would have many more moments like this, just the two of them enjoying each other, but he also knew that life could be reckless and unpredictable, their scars telling that exact story to one another. It just made this moment with his girl all that more important to him. 

Lane's hand travelled down and cupped his ass, urging him forward, "Sammy," she breathed against his lips.

Nothing else mattered in that moment as he slipped into her entrance with a soft, silky thrust that melted their bodies together. She was so tight that it took him an moment to adjust, gently rocking his hips back and forth until she was a puddle of breathless moans and tiny huffs. His lips found hers again, needy and hungry for more. He wanted to be closer than ever before and he accomplished that mission with each thrust forward. 

"You're so beautiful," he hummed when he parted, cupping her face with his hand and admiring the soft freckles that danced across the bridge of her nose. Her lips partially open and her eyes searching his as they rocked together at a delicious pace chasing their high in unison.

His fingers danced along her skin trailing from her cheek down her side. Her scarred skin was soft and smooth under his touch while he mapped a constellation of scars on her side. Lane wriggled beneath him, her moans bringing a smile to his face. There were so many times that he felt an incredible pang in his chest with every moment he ached for her and now having her so close feeling the way her body molds to his, Sam wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to let her go after this. 

“Lanie,” he breathed, dipping his head and pressing soft chaste kisses along her collar bone to the spot on her neck that always makes her squirm. His hands traveled down her sides to the outside of her thighs, pulled her even closer and hiked her hips off of the bed in a new angle, one that dragged a delicious moan from her lips.

Lane's head lifted as she pressed a kiss to the scar on his collarbone, gasping into his skin as he thrust forward and hit her sensitive spot. A shiver of pleasure shot down his spine as she gripped his length tighter and fluttered around him, her orgasm growing within her. They're soft sounds echoed through his room as his pace became quick and needy, chasing their highs together. 

"Sammy," she whined, moving her hips in tandem with his, craving the same closeness that he was as her head fell back into his pillow and pressed backwards. 

The pressure grew deep within his stomach but Sam needed her to reach her climax first. He needed to give that to her, to feel her pleasure erupt around him.

Her nails dug into his skin as her breathing became ragged and her body tensed in his arms. He felt the cord snap within her as his name danced off her lips in a series of breathless moans that made him heavy dizzy with pride. 

"That's my girl, keeping going," he praised both verbally and physically as he picked up the pace, his rhythm growing sloppy as he chased her orgasm in search of his own.  Her lips on his skin was enough to drive him crazy as her cunt fluttered around him, dragging him inch for inch closer to the edge.

She felt like heaven around him, gripping his length and still fluttering. Warmth spread through his veins and pleasure curled around his lower back the further he pushed himself. Lane’s moans turned into soft whimpers as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, whispering soft praises as his hips snapped against hers, out of rhythm until it was too much. He felt her nails dig into his back, her legs hooked around his waist as he came. 

His hips slowed, rocking lazily as he trailed kisses along the inside of her neck.

Her fingers trailed up his spine and scraped into his scalp as she did her best to catch her breath. The overwhelming sense of comfort drifted over Sam as he kept his lips pressing into her skin, relishing in the moment of their bodies together. The sound of a hitch in her breath made him sit up slightly, catching her soft brown eyes with his own as he furrowed his brow. 

"Lanie, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" He asked, his hand coming up to cup her cheek gently. 

She shook her head with a ghost of a smile and placed her hand over his, "I just - I missed you so much, Sam" 

With a small breath of relief, Sam returned the smile, leaning his forehead down against hers and brushing their noses together, "I missed you too, Lanie. More than you know"

[sambuckylibrary]

WEDNESDAY: April 24 - Hurt/Comfort

[livingincolorsagain]

somewhere in the haze

(T, 1.8k)

sequel to if we survived the great war

for @sambuckylibrary

It was raining outside still, or maybe again, the lightning momentarily brightening the room, and Sam thought that was what disturbed his sleep, but then the sound of footsteps registered, and his heart skipped, his body jerking in shock. He tried to push off the bed, grab the gun underneath it and investigate, but his body refused to comply, sore and raw as he felt.

The footsteps grew closer, until Sam heard the creak of the bedroom door opening, and the steps stopped and light poured in from the hallway, and it was only then that Sam realized the footsteps were familiar.

“Jesus, sweetheart,” Bucky said, sounding faraway.

read on ao3.

[jinxquickfoot]

Marvel Fic Masterlist

Completed Projects:

Weaknesses (Whumptober 2022 Collection):

The One Where Natasha is Tony's Weakness (Day 1 Prompts: Unconventional Restraints/“This wasn’t supposed to happen”, Day 14 Prompts: Desperate Measures/Failed Escape/“I’ll be right behind you”, Day 20 Prompt: Fetal Position)

The One Where Clint is Wanda's Weakness (Day 2 Prompts: Cornered/Caged/Confrontation) 

The One Where Clint is Sam's Weakness (Day 4 Prompt: Waking Up Disorientated, Day 16 Prompt: “No one’s coming”, Day 24 Prompt: “I don’t want to do this anymore”, Day 31 Prompts: Comfort/Bedside Vigil/“You can rest now”)

The One Where Tony is Clint's Weakness (Day 5 Prompt: Running Out of Air, Day 11 Prompts: Sloppy Bandages/Self-Done First Aid/Makeshift Splint)

The One Where Scott is Sam's Weakness (Day 10 Prompt: Waterboarding) 

The One Where Yelena is Natasha's Weakness (Day 15 Prompts: Lies/New Scars/Breathing Through the Pain)

The One Where Sam is Bucky's Weakness (Day 21 Prompts: “You’re safe now”/“Take me instead”)

The One Where Peter is Kamala's Weakness (Day 22 Prompt: Allergic Reaction)

The One Where Peter is Peter's Weakness (co-written with @spagbol99​, Day 23 Prompts: Forced to Their Knees/Tied to a Table/”Hold them down”)

The One Where Sam is Clint's Weakness (Day 25 Prompts: Duct Tape/"You Better Start Talking")

The One Where Kate is Peter's Weakness (Day 26 Prompts: Separated/Rope Burns, Day 28 Prompts: Anger Born of Worry/Punching the Wall)

The One Where MJ is Peter's Weakness (for the @spideychellebigbang, art by @bignerdhours, Day 27 Prompts: Muffled Screams/Stumbling/Magical Exhaustion)

The One Where Marc is Steven’s Weakness (Day 29 Prompts: Defiance/"Better me than you")

The One Where Clint is Bucky’s Weakness (for the @winterhawkbigbang​, art by @rufferto9​, Day 30 Prompts: Manhandled/Hair Grabbing/“Please don’t touch me”)

The One Where Clint is Kate’s Weakness: (Day 3 Prompts: Say Goodbye/Gun to Temple, Day 7 Prompts: Shaking Hands/Silent Panic Attack, Day 17 Prompts: Breaking Point/Stress Positions/Reluctant Caretaker, Day 18 Prompts: “Just get it over with”/“Take my coat”, Day 19 Prompts: Knees Buckling/Repeatedly Passing Out/Head Lolling)

Mayday: A Civil War Fix-It that spans 2012-2017. No character bashing, no sides taken.

The One Where Rhodey is Steve's Weakness (Day 9 Prompts: Sleeping in Shifts/Tossing and Turning/Caught in a Storm) 

The One Where Steve is Sam’s Weakness (Day 6 Prompt: Ransom Video, Day 8 Prompts: Head Trauma/Back from the Dead, Day 13 Prompts: Fracture/Dislocation/“Are you here to break me out?")

The One Where Bucky is Tony’s Weakness (Day 12 Prompts: “Mayday, mayday!”)

Let’s Whump the Spider-Kid and Friends! (Whumptober 2021 Collection): A “Everybody Lives/No One Dies” AU set post-Endgame. One-shots featuring Peter Parker and the Avengers that lead into a larger story. TW: puns.

Down to the Wire (Peter & Tony, Day 1 Prompts: "You have to let go"/Barbed Wire/Bound)

You're One to Talk (Peter, Tony & Scott, Day 2 Prompt: Gagged)

Bully For You (Peter & Natasha, Day 3 Prompts: Taunting/Insults/"Who did this to you?")

Trust Fall (Peter & Tony, Day 4 Prompts: "Do you trust me?"/Taken Hostage)

Intruder Window (Peter & Sam, Day 5 Prompts: Misunderstanding/Broken Nose)

A Lot On Your Plate (Peter & Tony, Day 6 Prompt: Hunger)

Eye See What You Did There (Peter & Clint, Day 7 Prompts: Helplessness/Blindness)

That's Cold (Peter & Vision, Peter & Wanda, Wanda/Vision, Day 8 Prompts: "Definitely just a cold"/Exotic Illness)

Something Blue (Wanda/Vision, Day 9 Prompt: Tears, art by @jacketpotatoo​)

Shield (Peter & Bucky, Peter & Sam, Day 10 Prompt: Hospital)

Just When You Thought There Wasn’t a Pun for This One (Peter & Tony, Day 11 Prompts: Adrift/Dehydration)

Switch (Peter, Sam & Bucky, Day 12 Prompts: Torture/Made to Watch/Begging)

Not Cool (Peter & Rhodey, Day 13 Prompts: "This is gonna suck"/Burns/Cauterization)

Driven to Succeed (Peter & Happy, Day 14 Prompts: Crash Injuries/Beaten/Force)

Trip Hazard (Peter, Tony, Rhodey, Steve & Bucky, Day 15 Prompt: Delirium)

Scar. Scare? Scar. (Peter & Bruce, Day 16 Prompt: Scars)

You Game? (Peter, MJ, Ned, Flash, Betty, Shuri, Cassie, Lila, AJ & Harley, Day 17 Prompts: "Please don't move!"/Dread)

Frame-Up (Peter & Clint, Day 18 Prompts: "Now Smile for the Camera"/CPR)

Catastrophe (Peter, Sam & Bucky, Day 19 Prompts: Bitten/Bleeding)

You’re Suffocating Me (Peter & Shuri, Day 20 Prompts: Trunk/Trapped Underwater)

Stacked Odds (Peter, Tony, Sam & Bucky, Day 21 Prompt: Pressure)

I'm Your Biggest Fan! (Peter & Scott, Day 22 Prompt: Obsession)

Not Quite Sold (Peter & Bucky, Peter & Clint, Day 23 Prompt: Auction)

For the Record (Peter, Sam & Bucky, Day 24 Prompts: Self-induced Injuries to Escape/Revenge/Flashback)

In Hiding (Peter & Morgan, Peter & Cassie, Day 25 Prompt: Hiding)

It's Just A Stage I'm Going Through (Peter & Stephen, Peter & Ned, Day 26 Prompts: Trapdoor/Fallen)

Collapse (Peter/MJ, Peter & Pepper, Day 27 Prompts: Passing Out/Collapse)

In Your Dreams (Peter & Thor, Day 28 Prompts: "Good. You’re finally awake.”/Nightmare/Panic)

Mine (Peter & Steve, Day 29 Prompts: "You're Still Not Dead?"/Too Weak to Move/Overworked)

Didn’t Mean to Ghost You (Peter & Ben, Peter & Tony, Day 30 Prompts: Left for Dead/Ghosts)

Punstoppable (Peter & Tony, Peter/MJ, Peter & Avengers team, Day 31 Prompts: Hurt and Comfort/Disaster Zone/Prisoner/Trauma)

Bonus Chapter: Not Quite Sold Part 2 (Bucky & Natasha, Bucky & Steve, Febuwhump 2022 Day 20 Prompt: Caged)

Bonus Chapter: Not Quite Sold Part 3 (Peter & Tony, Febuwhump 2022 Day 27 Prompt: Shower Breakdown)

Whumptoberverse Fics (Whumptober 2020 Collection): A Civil War Fix-It that begins with Zemo kidnapping Tony and Peter in Siberia after the fight with Steve and Bucky. An attempt to consider all sides, perspectives, and mistakes made in Civil War with understanding rather than judgement. Currently being edited. 

'Til the Fight is Done (Peter & Tony, Day 1 Prompts: Waking Up Restrained/Shackled/Hanging)

What Makes A Captain (Steve & Bucky, Day 2 Prompts: "Pick Who Dies”/Collars/Kidnapped)

Not Your Sidekick (Rhodey & Sam, Day 3 Prompts: Held At Gunpoint/Manhandled)

Man in a Can (Tony & Rhodey, Day 4 Prompt: Buried Alive)

A Quiet Place (Natasha & Sam, Day 5 Prompts: On the Run/Failed Escape/Rescue)

Amendments (Tony & Bruce, Day 6 Prompts: “Get it Out”/No More/“Please…”)

Choices (Natasha & Bucky, Day 7 Prompts: Support/Enemy to Caretaker)

Dollhouse (Clint & Wanda, Day 8 Prompt: Isolation)

You're Always Spider-Man (Peter & Harley, Day 9 Prompts: "Run!"/"Take me instead")

There Will Be Blood (Peter & Bruce, Day 10 Prompts: Trail of Blood/Blood Loss)

Room 101 (Tony & Clint, Day 11 Prompts: Defiance/Struggling/Crying)

Safe Space (Rhodey & Steve, Day 12 Prompts: Broken Down/Broken Trust)

Hair is Everything (Tony & Natasha, Day 13 Prompts: Delayed Drowning/Chemical Pneumonia/Oxygen Mask)

We Didn't Start the Fire (Steve & Natasha, Day 14 Prompt: Fire)

Episode 15 AKA Mind Control (Clint & Bucky, Day 15 Prompts: Science Gone Wrong/Possession)

Budapest (Clint & Natasha, Day 16 Prompts: Forced to Beg/Hallucinations/Shoot the Hostage)

Project Cassandra (Bruce & Natasha, Day 17 Prompts: Dirty Secret/Wrongfully Accused)

We Forgot to Break Up (Tony & Steve, Day 18 Prompts: Paranoia/Panic Attacks)

Pile Up (Sam & Peter, Day 19 Prompts: Survivor's Guilt/Grief/Mourning Loved Ones)

Droney, I Have A Feeling We're Not in Queens Anymore (Peter & Wanda, Day 20 Prompts: Lost/Medieval)

Just A Little Stuck (Rhodey & Bucky, Day 21 Prompt: Chronic Pain)

Help (Sam & Tony, Day 22 Prompt: Drugged)

Mole (Peter & Natasha, Day 23 Prompts: Sleep Deprivation/Exhaustion)

On the Tip of My Tongue (Sam & Bucky, Day 24 Prompts: Blindfolds/Forced Mutism)

Original Weaknesses Series: A thirty-day writing challenge that helped me through COVID-19 and got way out of hand. Ranging from one-shots to multi-chapter fics to mini-series, these are stories where the Avengers and Guardians rescue each other from danger. OR: I just really liking writing hostage situations. 

The One Where Rhodey is Tony's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Steve's Weakness

The One Where Bruce is Natasha's Weakness

The One Where Wanda is Clint's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Natasha's Weakness

The One Where Thor is Loki's Weakness

The One Where Natasha is Clint's Weakness

The One Where Clint is Steve's Weakness (co-written with @16woodsequ)

The One Where Scott is Tony's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Thor's Weakness

The One Where Sam is Tony's Weakness

The One Where T'Challa is Shuri's Weakness (co-written with @fluencca​)

The One Where Clint is Natasha's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Stephen's Weakness

The One Where Bruce is Thor's Weakness (co-written with @onwardmeteors​)

The One Where Scott is Steve's Weakness

The One Where Peter is Thor's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Vision's Weakness

The One Where Groot is Rocket's Weakness

The One Where Tony is Bruce's Weakness

The One Where Wanda is Tony's Weakness

The One Where Brunnhilde is Carol's Weakness

The One Where Peter is Tony's Weakness

Cutting the Wire: A canon divergent retelling of 2014-2015 Avengers, as HYDRA comes after Steve to make him the new Winter Soldier.

The One Where Steve is Bucky's Weakness

The One Where Sam is Steve's Weakness

The One Where Bucky is Steve's Weakness (co-written with @usaonetwothree​)

The One Where Steve is Tony's Weakness

Heart of Stone: Currently features one Tony & Rhodey at MIT fic dealing with a stalker, Tiberius Stone, and an sequel set years later that kicks off a canon divergence from Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

The One Where Tony is Rhodey's Weakness

The One Where Clint is Tony's Weakness

The Fence and the Ambulance: Misunderstandings abound when Bucky is framed for Peter’s kidnapping, and both Tony and Steve rush to the rescue. Civil War Fix-It, canon divergent.

The One Where Peter is Bucky's Weakness

Whumping the Hawk: A collection of six horror/thriller stories focusing on Clint Barton. OR: I beat Clint up a lot in horrible and creative ways.

The Worst Thing

Dollhouse

Budapest

The One Where Natasha is Tony’s Weakness

The One Where Clint is Sam’s Weakness

The One Where Sam is Clint’s Weakness

Upcoming projects:

Team Iron Man (Current WIP): Isn’t it great to be the good guy who has never made a single mistake? How horrible and nasty are Team Cap for making poor Tony so sad and hurt. Well, at least he has Peter and Rhodey. They’re not acting weird. Don’t worry about it. Everything is perfect. This fic has been in my outline folder forever, and even though the time for it has probably passed, I think about often enough that I still want to write it. This is a Civil War Fix-It that’s intended to be a loving parody of the Irondad fandom, and a not-so-loving parody of the more extreme anti-Team Cap fics. No sides taken, no character bashing, happy ending.

Whumptoberverse Completion:

Barton Luck (Clint & Peter, Day 25 Prompts: Disorientation/Blurred Vision/Ringing Ears)

Seeing Red (Tony & Wanda, Day 26 Prompts: Migraine)

The Fine Print (Steve & Sam, Day 27 Prompts: Earthquake/Extreme Weather/Power Outage)

Untitled Wanda & Vision fic (Day 28 Prompts: Hunting Season)

Untitled Steve & Peter fic (Day 29 Prompts: Intubation/Reluctant Bedrest)

Untitled Bucky & Peter fic (Day 30 Prompts: Wound Reveal/Ignoring An Injury/Internal Organ Injury)

Untitled Tony & Bucky fic (Day 31 Prompts: Experiment/Left For Dead)

Heart of Stone Completion:

The One Where Phil is Clint’s Weakness

The One Where Peter is Tony’s Weakness

The One Where Bucky is Clint’s Weakness

The One Where Kate is Clint’s Weakness

The One Where Stephen is Tony’s Weakness

The Fence and the Ambulance Sequel to The One Where Peter is Bucky’s Weakness. When Steve and Tony fall into trouble, it’s Bucky and Peter’s turn to team up to rescue them.

[whumpdrivethru]

Hello! Can I get a Sam Wilson using his badass parescue skills to patch up Bucky after a mission gone wrong? Thank you!

Heyyy! Thank you for choosing the whump drive-thru! Enjoy!

Stitches for a Deeper Wound

Characters: Sam Wilson, Bucky Barnes, mentioned Steve Rogers and mentioned original unnamed villain. Characters are property of Marvel and not me; otherwise, I'd be pretty damn rich. Words: 1.2 k

TW: Blood, gunshot wound, death mentions, general angst, stitches, pain

Saying the mission had gone wrong was a gross understatement. 

Sam Wilson was not exactly the most optimistic person around. And with an operation as risky as this one, there were at least a million and one unpleasant outcomes plaguing his thoughts, but none of them could even so much as hold a candle to this.

Aside from the fact that a highly dangerous crime lord who was running illegal experiments on humans and was wanted by every country and their mother had just escaped their clutches and seemingly disappeared into thin air, Bucky was down, and he’d called Sam for help.

He’d called him for help.

Bucky was the very definition of the word stubborn. Requesting assistance had never really been his cup of tea, only something he’d do out of dire necessity, and in better circumstances, help meant backup. And this wasn’t it. He had a nasty habit of toughing out his injuries, but he could mostly handle himself. 

But when Sam heard that horribly ragged breathing, the weak, desperate “Help,” over his communicator, he’d feared that his worst nightmares were coming to life. Bucky may have been a pain, but Sam couldn’t lose him. 

That kind of suffering was one he could only survive once, and even then it left scars that even eons of time could not hope to heal.

Thankfully, Bucky wasn’t too far away, and Sam spotted a dark figure lying by a tree. . .with a pool of crimson around him, his uneven breaths seeming to get shallower by the moment. 

“Bucky!” he whispered curtly, rushing over to his fallen teammate. “Don’t you dare die on me, you bastard,” he snarled, trying to hide the concern in his voice that Bucky easily discerned, flashing him a weak smile on bloodied teeth. 

If he wasn’t grievously injured, Sam would have at least tried to strangle him.

“How’d he do this to you?” he asked. It wasn’t such a common occurrence that someone could beat a supersoldier, and their enemy, while formidable, didn’t possess any superpowers or extremely powerful gadgets. 

“He drugged me. The experiments he’s running, they’re insane,” he rasped out, wincing slightly as his chest rose and fell with his ragged breathing. 

“He shot you, but the bullet went straight through,” Sam attested, reaching into his backpack for anything that could help. There was a gaping hole near Bucky’s heart, but not quite at it, which was good, except the bleeding was crazy, the skin around it red and angry, muscle pierced through and torn. Sam needed to get the wound clean, having to pour some of the faint-scented cologne that he’d brought for no reason as disinfectant and a piece of his already tattered shirt as a rag. 

No matter how badly he wanted to tough it out, Bucky couldn’t hide the sharp hiss that escaped his lips. 

“Hold still,” Sam commanded through gritted teeth, applying pressure on the wound. 

He couldn’t exactly make out what his friend and absolute royal pain was saying because his weak, tormented voice was barely above a whisper, but he knew it was a swear. Definitely meant for him, but he currently didn’t have enough brain power to reply or even be slightly offended.

He pulled out a needle and thread, thanking God a hundred times over that he’d remembered, in the haste they were in, rushing to leave, unsure they’d packed exactly everything.

“What the hell were you thinking, Bucky? Going after this nutcase alone, and you knew full-well how dangerous he was. You should’ve called for backup! Is that so hard to understand?” Sam cried, exasperated, stitching up the other man’s wound. 

“Well, I didn't die. How the hell was I supposed to know he had that stupid drug? And you know I always catch bastards like him. And me getting hurt is a goddamn occupational hazard. I let him think I was dead, anyway. This isn’t the first time I get shot, Wilson. And if I had the necessary materials with me right then, I wouldn’t have even asked you to show up,” he retorted.

Raising an irritated brow at Bucky, Sam continued stitching the wound. “Listen up. You asked for my help, even being the stubborn bastard that you are, you still did. Which means you knew you screwed up. And he got away. All because you wanted to prove something stupid to yourself,” he seethed, eyes now slits and his tone dangerously calm. Oh, he was pissed at Bucky, and he was going to let the idiot know.

“I’m entitled to my own decisions. You’re not my mum, Steve!”

At that, Sam’s eyes went wide, and for a brief moment, guilt flashed across Bucky’s features. He mentally cursed himself for being so impulsive, saying the first thing that came to his mind without thinking. 

“D-don’t call me that,” Sam snapped, finally done with his stitches. 

“I - I’m sorry,” he stated, trying his hardest to sound sincere, to let down the wall of emotionlessness he’d been forcing himself to hold up for years, or whatever it was his therapist said he should do. Sure, Sam’s worrying and mother-henning was irritating on a good day, but he cared, he was Bucky’s best friend, his brother, and he was right. He’d asked him for help, relied on him. This was supposed to be a team effort. But deep down, he really didn’t want Sam to get hurt. It was part of the reason he’d make sure to go after the criminal alone. “I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Sam’s diamond-hard gaze softened. “It’s alright. Just don’t pull any of that crap again, good? Or I swear, I will give you a reason to be sorry.”

“Deal. Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night.”

Sam rolled his eyes, but he helped him up, shaking his hand, and then he didn’t even register how or when Bucky had hugged him. It was for an extremely short amount of time, but still, Bucky wasn’t really a hugger, unless you were a stray cat, which he most definitely was not. 

Still, it meant that the ice was melting just a little bit. That their disastrous team-up was finally starting to work out. 

They went back to their current shared residence, a small apartment in a quieter part of the city, so that they could come up with a better plan with more efficient execution. They still weren’t sure exactly where to start, but something told them both that they’d catch this bastard, one way or another.

He gets on your nerves without trying. He finds a way to disagree with everything you say. It feels like you’ve been arguing with him from the beginning of time. But he is your best friend, your brother, your family, the kind that teaches you that blood never mattered in the grand scheme of things, more about a fate you do not choose, simply a circumstance. So you bear whatever it is he does because you know just how far he is willing to go with you, the precarious road he’s willing to tread. You trust him with your life more than you do yourself. And if anything were to happen to him, you’d be truly lost. A friend you live, die and kill for, without hesitation. 

♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧♧

This fresh whumpy meal has been prepared by Natalia.

[thatmexisaurusrex]

How about 🏠 Cabin Fic for the Sambucky Summer Ficlets?

SamBucky Summer Ficlet Prompts

Ooh, someone else requested a Cabin Fic but I can do another one 😆 Enjoy!!

A Cabin in the Woods

"Just a little farther," said Bucky, and.

Sam.

Was pretty sure Bucky had said that an hour ago.

Or was it five minutes ago?

Sam had been hurt. He had been on a mission with Bucky to take out the Serpent Society when he got injured facing Diamondback. And Sam wouldn't say that he was dying or anything.

But he was definitely bleeding quite a bit.

Diamondback had, unfortunately, escaped, though not without Sam placing a tracker on her. Hopefully, Joaquín would be able to find her in time.

Sam had been leaning on Bucky; pressure on his wound; Bucky's arms wrapped around him as they walked through the woods toward a cabin Bucky knew as a safe house for the Howling Commandos.

Sam focused on the firm yet gentleness of Bucky's touch.

The hum of a song Sam didn't know from Bucky between the We're almost theres and the Don't worry, I've got yous.

And.

Well, fuck Sam.

There it was.

A cabin out in the middle of the woods. And Sam wouldn't like to say he was surprised it was still there, he had tried to put his trust in Bucky when he said it was still there, but Sam was definitely relieved.

"See? I told you," whispered Bucky close to Sam's ear.

"I never said I didn't believe you," Sam strained to say as Bucky gingerly helped Sam up the stairs of the cabin's front porch.

"I know," said Bucky as he opened the door, "I just wanted to hear your voice."

The cabin was dusty, but not dusty enough to be decades out of use. It even had some new looking furniture.

"One of the places you stayed when I was chasing you?" asked Sam curiously as Bucky carefully placed Sam on the couch.

"Yeah," said Bucky as he went to the cabinets in the kitchen and pulled out a first aid kit and an old bottle of whiskey, "First place I went to. Then, I started going places you could find me."

"Flirt," mumbled Sam, not all that surprised by that revelation.

"I wanted your attention," said Bucky as he walked back over, "Kind of hard if I'm off the grid completely."

Sam smiled as Bucky sat next to the couch with the first aid kit and the whiskey.

As Bucky admired the ring on Sam's hand.

The same kind of ring Bucky had on his hand.

"Going to fix me up or what?" asked Sam softly.

"I got you, Sam," whispered Bucky as he opened the first aid kit; as he ripped open Sam's shirt; as he poured whiskey onto the wound and handed it to Sam to take a swig of; as Bucky started to patch up his husband.

[samsseptember]

September  22 - Hurt/Comfort | Disaster Fic