#sam while being basically married to bucky: bucky? yeah he’s my roommate | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

allandoflimbo · 2 years ago

Text

Take It Back: His Story (5)

Sequel to Take It Back

Previous Chapter

Summary: You and Bucky. It was supposed to be a happy ever after. Your story, home, and love was near perfect. After all, you had worked so hard and suffered so much to be where you finally were. But behind the scenes, Bucky had been dealing with more baggage from the past than he had been willing to publicly share. Steve was always the second best when it came to him and Bucky. From Nat, to you, and maybe now, even someone else. It’s been seven years since Ashlyn cheated on Bucky, but nine since she first fell in love with him.

Two years after their public divorce and after starting therapy, she holds onto a dangerous mixture of jealousy and strength. With new friendships and new love on her side, she knows she should let Bucky go. But should is so hard to do when she loved as hard as she did.

A/N: I know the pacing of this up until now has been a little...strange, maybe tedious, but trust my process. This was the only way it would've worked to tie everything in together. It was a hard outline to get on paper, took many drafts of getting it just right, but this is the way it works. I apologize if the back and forth was whiplash, but trust me. It'll make sense looking back. From here on out, the timeline and pacing will be more straightforward to follow. Basically, it'll be Take It Back but from Bucky's POV, the scenes we never saw, stories we never saw, emotions we never saw, (I'm talking that year gap where Y/N and Bucky fell in love while he was still with Ashlyn) and eventually it will go into the present where the continued story will...well, continue. Trust. Also, please let me know your thoughts. I beg you to even spam me. Your words encourage me as you read. Thank you.

WARNING:

This story will contain sex; oral, m/f penetration, anal sex, dry sex, rough sex, shower sex, masturbation, mutual masturbation, porn watching, and soft sex. Very strong language, strong adult content, use of drugs/alcohol, sensitive topics like marriage trouble, illnesses (both terminal and mental), one incident of almost non-con, college frat parties shenanigans, and emotional angst.

Story will take place TWO years after Bucky and Y/N got married but will also do flashbacks to the same time line as Take It Back 1 and their college years.

Rating: Rated R. 18+ ONLY. 🔞 no minors.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Masterpage for Take It Back: His Story

After much work, and many planned events, they came to a conclusion together.

“Do you want to come inside to talk?” He can sense the slightly hesitation in Natasha’s tone, “My roommate won’t get back till tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

They had spent all of winter break together in the city trying to rekindle the romance in their relationship.

He looks over at Nat as he turns the car off. The heat is barely off for a few seconds before the cold temperature from outside already starts cooling the car again.

Bucky unlocks the car doors and they both get out.

They’ve been stalling around the inevitable conversation for a few weeks now, but it was time to finally lay it all out.

Nat opens the door to the backseat, grabs her bag, and swings it over her shoulder.

The walk to her room is quiet.

She sits down on her bed and Bucky takes a seat in her chair.

He turns to look at her, both elbows on each knee and hands clasped in front of his face.

“So…” she starts.

“Yeah.”

“We’re great together, right?”

“Of course. You make me happy.”

“You make me happy, too. And I love always being there for you just as much as you are for me.” She responds.

Bucky nods. They both look down, debating how to carefully say the next few words.

He reaches forward and takes her hand gently into his.

“You helped me in ways I can’t put into words. You still do, and I want to always have you in my life. You, Sam, and Steve, even Connor, are the best people in my life right now.”

Nat nods her head, a small smile forming on the edges of her lips.

“But we’re not in love.” She says.

Bucky shakes his head back and forth.

“No, we’re not.” he pushes a strand of her hair behind her ear, “But it is a different kind of love we have. Our friendship.”

“We can’t force it just because. Maybe the first few weeks we just had to get it out of our system. But aside from the physical—“

“Exactly.” Bucky lets out a chuckle and nods, “We’re good friends, Nat.”

Their eyes meet once more, this time their face becoming serious.

“We’re both okay with that? Staying friends?” She asks.

“I’m more than okay with that.” She runs her thumb over the back of his hand. He watches her movements closely.

“You know I’ll always be over protective of you right?” Bucky smiles as she responds, “Probably more than Steve. I’ll always want what is best for you, for all of you.”

“Thank you.” he says. She looks up at him when she feels his hand on her face. He leans forward and places a small kiss on the apple of her cheeks and then running his thumb over that same spot, “Really. Thank you for everything.”

They stay like that quietly for a few more minutes.

Bucky bites at his bottom lip and then looks away from Nat, debating if he should bring this up now.

His hand drops off her face.

“I need to say something, and maybe it’s not the best time to ask this,” He searches her eyes for a few moments, “I spoke to Steve a few weeks ago.” Nat’s eyes drift down briefly at the mention of Steve’s name and this does not go unnoticed by Bucky, “I won’t go into detail, for the sake of both your privacy and because it has nothing to do with me, so it’s not my place to get involved,”

“Bucky—“

He smiles and shushes her.

“It’s okay. But I do need to say this,” He can see what may be a glimmer of tears on Nat’s eyes. He wonders what the hell happened between them, or more importantly what it was she was thinking, “Steve is a great guy. If there’s something you need to say to him, or something you wish to work out with him or explain, you should do it. All you have to do is talk to each other.” Nat swallows thickly, “Okay?”

They stare at each other for a few more minutes, a look he’s never seen before in Nat’s eyes is there. He wonders what that is.

She eventually nods.

“Okay.”

Bucky hangs his head down, relieved.

“Okay. Good.”

They spend the next few minutes talking about mundane things like their classes and how Bucky’s Steven King binge is going.

When he leaves her room, he feels light.

It wasn’t because him and Nat broke up, but because something great came out of that room.

Understanding, respect, and a continued friendship.

Sitting back in his car, Bucky pulls out his phone and sends Steve a text:

It’s done. We agreed to stay friends. It ended well..

——

Present

“She never did, did she?” Doctor Raynor asks, “Nat. She never spoke to Steve about it.”

Bucky shakes his head back and forth.

“No. Not that I’m aware.” He says.

Raynor purses her lips and nods.

“What happened after that?”

Bucky takes lets out a deep breath as he leans forward in his seat.

“I mean, it was college. It was normal. We all stayed friends. Nat and Steve didn’t talk as much as you’d think, but I remained friends with both of them, and I included both of them for everything. As well as Sam and Connor. I continued doing my gigs during Christmas. I haven’t touched a guitar since, though. But it was just that; college.”

She types.

“How was your relationship with your father?”

Bucky bits his bottom lip as he looks down at the tips of his shoes.

White Nikes.

“It was surprisingly well,” Raynor raises a brow, “And I only say surprisingly because of judging off what we know now. But at the time, it was just as you’d expect. He was a good dad to me. Sure, we had different values, but he was my father and he treated me well. After senior year, that summer I finally took up the internship at the company.”

“What did you do there?”

“I was his assistant for four months. Come end of September, he started taking me with him to his meetings to learn the ropes. Nat and Steve applied, too. They got in but I got the classic nepotism treatment. I started getting cliental on my own by second year. Not high profile. We all worked together. George started to become a little more assertive towards me at the end of my first year. It was obvious he was trying to make me his carbon copy.”

“What was—”

“I was too broken. I was too nice,” he spits out cutting her off, “I was a pushover as well as a sensitive little punk. I was nothing like him. He was a great CEO. If there’s one thing I won’t deny until this day about George is that he was good at what he did. Our firm became the biggest and more reliable representation for the biggest cases in the city because of him. He built the name. Even more so when he and mom got involved in politics. Trying to run a senator campaign and all that. Barnes Enterprises didn’t do proceeding pro se, so even with my Juris Doctor I hadn’t gained his full confidence or respect. I don’t think I was ever truly made to run a law firm like he was. CEO’s with legal background are always preferred, like George. But a lawyer isn’t always a CEO. It’s a different Carreer path. Steve was a different story. He was good. He is good. He was even better when George start getting involved in sketchy shit.”

“James—”

“Again. I was never good enough. I’m still not.”

Doctor Raynor moves up in her own seat and looks Bucky in the eye.

“Have you ever spoken to Steve about any of this?” He looks at her bewildered.

“No.”

“Maybe you should. About all of this.” Raynor types on her laptop. “How do you think the relationship between you, Steve, and Nat influenced your future relationship with Steve?” She asks, pushing back the previous conversation for now, but hoping the new question would make him realize on his own how important it was for him to communicate with his friends.

“I’m not sure I understand what you mean.” Bucky says slowly and calculating.

“How has your relationship between you and Steve been since you and Y/N got married?”

Bucky thinks for a second, truly thinking about it, and his eyes drifting downwards.

“It’s been fine. Maybe not how it used to be, but it’s fine.”

“How so?”

Bucky groans.

“I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know what you want me to say,” his tone is almost annoyed at this point, “We’re still friends, if that’s what you’re asking. We keep in touch every once in a while. We try to.”

Raynor is unfazed by his sudden sharp temper, knowing she struck a nerve worth striking.

“Does it come easy?” She asks in a monotone.

“Sometimes, I guess. Part of it,” he clears his throat, “A lot of trust has been lost with me as a friend. He’s been nothing but good for me and time after time I just, I feel like I’ve always let him down.”

“Did you ever ask him what really happened between him and Y/N?”

Bucky scoffs, gently running his hand over his black wedding band.

“No,” he says it like it was an absurd question, "It’s in the past. Plus, most of it was forced on his part. He really wanted something that she wasn’t fully in all the way. She didn’t want it as much as he did.”

The clock on the far left quickly becomes of interest to Bucky.

“If that’s the case, do you think maybe that’s the reason things are tense now? Maybe when he found out about you and Y/N it reminded him of him and Nat. Is there a part of you that ever considered that possibility?”

He ticks his sharp jaw. His blue eyes dart back to his therapist whose eyes are starting to sink into his deepest souls.

He hated it.

“It’s possible. I never spoke to him about it. It doesn’t help that we have the same women involved in our lives.” He says it without thinking.

Dr. Raynor nods. She pushed her laptop away and leans her arms on her table, hands clapped together.

She was relaxed and trying to make this more genuine for him.

“I have two more questions for you. Was there ever a part of you that maybe became curious to know if maybe what happened with her and Steve wasn’t fully unrequited? And I don’t mean that she was okay with dating him, but maybe she was okay with more with him, deep down? At the time.” Bucky doesn’t like the questions she asks, “Maybe his emotions and feelings towards her and towards you were justified and that’s what contributes to the continuing of this lingering tension between the both of you?”

Bucky clenches his teeth and looks away from her.

“I have. But it’s not my place to ask.” He mumbles.

Sue him for not obsessing over the inappropriate idea of the past relationship between his wife and his best friend.

“You asked him that same question more than ten years ago when he was with Natasha. This is no different.”

Bucky glares at the doctor, a snarl on his lips.

“Y/N is my wife. This is different. And it won’t change anything.”

“Of course it won’t change anything between them, and it won’t brew anything, but talking about it will fortify your friendship with Steve, which would be a great step in the right direction. I think you should listen to his side of the story, too. For the sake of making peace. Closure.” Bucky doesn’t say anything to that, “as for the second question,” She clears her throat and turns her computer back to her. She types something briefly, “Ashlyn.”

There’s silence.

Bucky’s eyes hesitantly meet hers, and just like that, the look in his eyes almost convey a whole different man. It belonged to a man who had been betrayed. An ex-husband.

What was once bright and bright blue were now dark and stormy.

She continues.

“What is it that still bothers you that you’re afraid to say?” She asks quietly.

He can feel his hearth beating away rapidly in his body, and not in that good way. It was the kind that made him see fiery red and want to rip everything apart.

Bucky looks at his fingers and picks at their tips.

His licks his bottom lip and furrows his brows.

What is it that he was afraid to say?

He doesn’t realize he says it out loud.

“I love my wife very much,” he whispers gently, “The love we share is indescribable. She knows this and everyone does,” he takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes tightly together.

“Go on.”

“But the complexity of which it happened, we happened, when we both found out how we felt about the other, it was—“ he looks up and meets the doctor’s eyes. She can see the sorrow in his own, “it was inappropriate,” he moves up in the leather chair again, as if moving up was the only way she could hear him and now raising his voice, “I cheated on Ashlyn. Let that sink in. I want for one second, for that just to sink in. I cheated on her emotionally, mentally, and physically. And I’ve heard it a million times, especially by the tabloid that loves rubbing it in everyone’s faces, especially hers I’m sure. I’ve heard the retaliation sentence: yeah, but she did the same to you. If not, worst. She was a gold digger and she cheated on you, too. I’ve heard it already. Like a broken record to my ears.”

He takes a deep breath to continue.

“But here’s the thing,” his voice breaks slightly. Saying things he’s been holding in for years was making him emotional, “There is absolutely nothing pretty, nice, or justifiable about that comment; about that statement. There is nothing about that sentence that makes it better or makes what I did, or she did, okay. Whenever I would hear it, the hurt and torment that went through me was unbearable, and it also made me beyond frustrated because everyone loves rubbing Ashlyn’s face across the mud and making me the good guy.”

Raynor tries to keep her face without showing biased emotions at his words. He was surprising her.

“Before I fell in love with Y/N, I loved Ashlyn,” she can see the genuine tenderness in his face as he says it, “I loved her and she did love me. That’s what they don’t understand. It was not fake. Not the beginning. I’m not sure when it stopped but it was real.” His voice soften towards the end.

“The public, meaning my friends and family too not just the media, underestimates the love we shared. They seem to forget that she was a good woman, in a different sense that I understand than they do, because they only saw one part of it all. What they see is an unfaithful wife who wanted money, what I see is Ashlyn. My ex girlfriend, my ex-wife, the mother of my unborn baby,” the tears in his eyes are heart shattering, “It bothers me so much every time I see something awful written about her because of what she did, meanwhile I almost did the same thing and I get categorized as a good man,” he licks his lips and sits up taller, “But these are things I can’t tell anyone, because they would get the wrong idea.”

“But here’s the thing, it’s not about having the wrong idea, and it’s not about me saying I still have romantic feelings for her; it’s not, because I don’t. This is about the simple fact that everyone needs to have a reality check that they’ve only ever heard one part of a story and that they seem to forget that we were in love and that what she did to me killed me! I love Y/N so much, but in the beginning, I was consumed with guilt for so long because of it! I could’t look Ashlyn in the eye because of my cowardliness. I had moved on from her, shit I was ready to abandon her,” his voice breaks again, "and I loved her sister, but it still bothered my conscience. Meanwhile, she was sleeping around hurting me and it seemed to not even have bothered her, when we had shared the love we did for as long as it did. I don’t give it a crap if it makes me sound like a hypocrite, but her cheating on me killed me.”

“Not only my heart, but my self confidence, my trust for anyone, my feelings of capability as a man!”

He takes in a deep breath to calm himself. His voice is somehow still vibrating off the walls, even though he stopped. He sniffs and looks down once again.

“When me and Ashlyn were together, I tried my very best to try and continue to make it work between us, and people ask me why, why would you want to continue to make it work?” He looks up again until blue meets brown, and he scoffs, “Maybe because we were in love at one point? Maybe because I didn’t expect her to be cheating on me the whole time? Maybe I didn’t try hard enough? Did I do something wrong? Did me and her do something wrong? I know she messed up, but why? Why did she do that when I know she loved me? I know she did. Am I doing something wrong now? Maybe it hurts because at the time I wanted to make it work. Maybe because I knew a side of her nobody else did. Maybe it was because I was part of that relationship and they weren’t. They only ever saw a small part of it.”

“And those memories of our relationship; knowing she took that and destroyed it, took it for granted, hurts me. It changed me. I’m a hypocrite and I know it, but knowing that part of me felt like I wasn’t good enough in the beginning undid my entire morale as a man. Knowing that I felt what I did for her for so long and then slept with her sister does bother me. I was never that kind of man. But, all of this, I’m telling you - they don’t know that. And it doesn’t surprise me because they don’t know our side of our story. It’s not their fault.”

“And your biggest fear of telling it to your wife—“

“Not only is it unnecessary, but it’s because I don’t want her to get the wrong idea. I don’t have feelings for Ashlyn anymore, I stopped before our engagement, but those memories and the remembrance of what I did feel will forever stay with me.”

He wipes under his eyes after a tear manages to leak out.

“I still don’t know any of the details of her affairs or why,” his voice is even quieter than earlier, “Three years ago, when I found out she cheated on me, we had a big fight. There was screaming and yelling, I called her a whore, almost called her a worthless piece of shit and a bitch; it was on the tip of my tongue. But I did call her a whore, and I put my hand on her wrist. Then, I walked out. I had Steve hand her our divorce papers. To this girl I was once cherished. I haven’t spoken one word to her since that fight. I never asked her what the hell happened. What did we do to destroy us?”

___

Inside, the coffee shop is almost empty, minus three other people and two baristas. The weather was dark outside and it made the orange glow inside the shop captivatingly warm.

"What do you want? I'll grab it for you, you can take a seat wherever you want."

Ashlyn tells him her order and she makes her way to the window seat.

With one last look over his shoulder, he finally gives the barista is full attention, giving him their order.

He waits patiently at the cash register, two arms out in font of him, left food bouncing up and down.

He was nervous.

This girl was gorgeous and he felt something when he met her.

He starts tapping his pointer finger rhythmically on the counter. A few minutes later, the barista turns to him with a small smile.

“Here you go, sir.”

Bucky smiles back, taking both white mugs.

“Thanks so much.”

Turning back to the table against the window, his stomach flutters.

Ashlyn’s in a trance as she looks out the window, admiring the snow fall.

He can’t help the chuckle as she startles when the mug lands on the table with a soft clink.

“Did I scare you?” “A little. I was just to captivated by the prettiness of it all.” She motions in a circle with her right hand, perpendicular to the glass. She turns to the cup in front of her, giving it her full attention, “Thanks.”

“Of course.” He responds.

They they a few sips.

“I don’t think i’ve ever been in the city during a snow storm.”

“Yeah? It’s alright,” she raises a brow at his answer, “Not to crush on your New York City winter wonderland dreams or anything.”

“Why only alright?”

“I mean,” he looks out the window and smiles. He tightens his right hand around the cup, letting it warm him, “It’s beautiful. For the first few hours, especially at night. But in the morning? Unless you have a complete white canvass out your window, you’re looking at black and brown slush and a severe slipping hazard.”

Her smiles slides off slowly.

“That stinks.”

“Yeah, but like I said. The first few hours make it worth it.” His response makes her smile.

They take more sips of their hot chocolate.

“So you’re from upstate? I don’t go much.” “Really?”

“Yeah, not unless I’m going hiking. We sometimes go to the Catskills in the fall to see the foliage, and this other park up near Poughkeepsie.”

“That’s a nice area. I live a little closer though, in Hudson Valley.”

He narrows his eyes at hers and leans back in his seat.

“Let me guess; Westchester.”

Ashly lets out a laugh.

“Yep, that’s home.”

“That’s not too far.” He takes another sip of his cocoa, “I have an apartment here with my roommate Connor, but when I’m not in the city we mostly stick around the L.I. at my dad’s place.”

Ashlyn is the new to lean back now in her seat with a smile.

“Let me guess: Suffolk county.” The edges of Bucky’s lips perk up and he bites it, “What? Am I wrong?”

He shakes his head with a bigger laugh and drinks more of his cocoa.

“How about you? Are your parents in the valley, too?”

Ashlyn’s eyes drop solemnly and her finger runs over her mug. Bucky realizes his mistake immediately. He’s seen that look. He’s been on the receiving end of it before.

“No, they aren’t with us anymore. They passed away. It’s just me and my little sister.”

“I’m sorry.” “It’s fine. It’s been a few years now.”

“How much younger is she?”

“Three years.” Ashlyn’s eyes soften, “She’s gentle. I’m trying my best to be what I can for her now that they are gone.”

Bucky nods.

“You guys are close?”

Ashlyn tilts her head to the side and crosses her arms over on the table.

“We were. When she was in middle school, we were close. I did’t have many friends so when I got home, I always looked for my parents and her. In high school, since she was younger, we didn’t have the same experiences at the same time, but I always tried to include her. I fear I came off as uncaring or cold. But I was just protective. But we were always a little different, especially me,” she takes a sip, “And I don’t mean in a good way. I was very uptight, closed, and to myself. I guess it’s my own fault, partially. When mom and dad died, it got quiet between us again. It was hard on us. It was a bad car accident. It was a head-on collision-”

“I’m so sorry.” His voice was soft, caring.

She looks down at her cup and then out the window at snow still slowly falling from the sky.

She did miss them. She just never said it enough. She never liked showing her vulnerable feelings for your sake. Death made her uncomfortable. She’d rather think about the good outcomes.

Maybe I’ll see them again one day.

With Bucky Barnes in front of her, something felt right in the world, suddenly.

She jumps slightly when she feels his hand on hers. It all felt so surreal.

“My mom died right after I came back from Afghanistan. They had chased her down after they found out and I had made it out alive, and they wanted revenge on our family. It took the officials months to find her.”

She knew the story, but him telling her directly was different. They talk for a while longer before they finally decide it should be time to head home.

With the snow piling up, Ashlyn was scared it would stop the trains earlier and she had to get home to you.

Bucky walks with her to Grand Central station, holding her shopping back from Zara for her the whole time; because he offered to.

She prints out her ticket and then finally turns to Bucky to tell him goodbye.

“Thank you again, for the tour, and for the drink,” she takes the bag from him, “It was really nice meeting you.” “When can I see you again?” He doesn’t even hesitate.

Ashlyn gapes up at him and then swallows hard.

This was happening.

“Uhm.” she’s at lost for words as he waits patiently for her response.

His face falls slightly.

“I’m sorry if that was strong, I just really like you. Figured I could offer taking you out on a date, if you say yes, of course. It’s okay if you’re not interested.” He starts taking a step back.

“No, no I am,” she says hurriedly, a small chuckle escaping her mouth as she goes into her purse. She pulls out her cell phone, “What’s your number?” Bucky smiles and tells her, “I’ll send you a text on the train. Promise.”

He walks through the entrance of his apartment door when he feels his phone vibrate in his jeans pocket. He pulls it out and unlocks it.

Hey. It’s Ashlyn. Just got on the train. Let me know when you’d like to meet up. I had a great time. Thank you again bucky

“The hell are you smiling about?”

Bucky’s head shoots up towards Connor who is sitting on the couch that faces directly towards the door.

Bucky rolls his eyes as he closes the door behind him.

“This girl I just met.”

“Is she cute?” “Yeah, really cute. Sweet, too. I think you’d approve.”

_____

“It’s about time you got back!” You shout from the Kitchen as you mix your greens in your pot.

You hear the door close shut, followed by footsteps approaching the entrance to the kitchen.

“I’m sorry, I lost track of time.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad you had a good time, though. Did you at least find the shirt you wanted? Only you would go shopping when you knew we would be getting a snow storm.”

Ashlyn chuckles.

“Yeah, it was nice.” She says gently.

It’s quiet for a few more moments before you cover your pot, and turned it down to a simmer. You turn around to see her smiling, her head on her hand looking at you.

“Are you okay? You’re scaring me.” She nods.

“Yeah, I’m good.”

You squint your eyes at her.

“What happened?”

“I met this guy.”

You smile and roll your eyes.

“Should’ve known that’s what it was.”

“He is so hot, and he’s a gentleman, and my god, Y/N, it was like out of a fairytale!”

You smile again and make your way to the other side of the island, sitting down in the barstool that faces her.

“What’s his name?” There’s a twinkle in her eye.

“That’s the thing. It’s Bucky Barnes.”

You squint, your head suddenly in a swirl.

“Why does that sound familiar?”

“Because it is. You know, Bucky Barnes. George Barnes’ son, from Barnes Ent—”

“Wait, no way.” Both your brows raise as you remember how he’s literally a famous lawyer, “Ashlyn, there’s no way.” You say, smiling even more wide now.

“Yep. He looks exactly the same in person. We’re going out again.”

“That’s amazing,” you sighed resting your own head on your hand, “I wish I remembered what he looked like. I just remember the article a few years back about his mother, but that’s it. It was really sad.”

“I”ll introduce you to him. You’ll love him.”

______

Their first date is at Bucky’s apartment for dinner.

Connor was out of town for the weekend visiting his family in Michigan.

After dinner, Bucky took her hand, and asked her to join him in the middle of his kitchen for a slow dance.

As the song neared its end she turned around until she was facing him.

Their eyes met in an intense heat. Bucky swallows hard as he gently pushed her hair back.

Closing his eyes, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head.

Ashlyn feels her heart swell.

"That's our first kiss."

"Yes, it was."

He sighed contently as she wrapped her arms around his middle.

“I want to take you somewhere.” He mumbles.

“When?” “Right now.”

She pulls away from him and gives him a confused look.

“We already ate.”

He smiles.

“It’s not a restaurant,” he looks over towards the coat rack, “Come on, bring your coat. It’s not far.”

He was right. It doesn’t take longer than twenty minutes for them to get to their destination.

She shouldn’t be surprised that he’d this cheesy and unbelievably romantic, but she is.

He’s got his chin rested on her right shoulder and his arms wrapped around her torso.

“It’s beautiful.” “Still can’t believe you never saw it.”

The Christmas tree at Rockefeller.

“Yeah, well.” Is all she says. She smiles contently, allowing herself to be swayed by him.

After a few moments, she feels a tug on her waist; his hand. It’s turning her around to face him.

She’s barely faced him all the way, her hand just almost cupping the side of his neck, when he leans down and kisses her deeply. A real kiss this time.

And just like that, it starts snowing again.

____

It was the best date of her life. Like a true gentleman, after they leave Rockefeller, he drops her off at the station, staying with her until her track is called, and kissing her goodbye.

The train ride home is quiet and content, but her thoughts are anything but quiet.

She’s not sure if it’s everything happening so fast and if it was because luck was finally on her side, but she feels a sudden fear.

She’s scared that what she is going through is too good to be true, just like it was when she had her family after school.

She was terrified that she couldn’t hold onto this feeling forever; happiness.

But for some reason, she also felt empowered. She never felt that before. She never had the confidence to feel like maybe she could actually do something for herself.

For the first time in her life, she feels inclined to take life by the balls and enjoy being happy and maybe doing something for herself.

She even considers the thought of maybe finally moving out. A fresh and new start. She spent so long not wanting to move on emotionally after her parent’s death, maybe it was now time. Her only concern was you. You were younger. Your safety came first.

She would discuss it with you when she got home.

She’s texting Bucky the entire ride home, telling him how much she cares about him and he tells her he feels the same. It feels like a fairytale.

What are you doing when you get home?

Bucky asks.

I might stop by to get milk real quick. I need to check with Y/N if she needs something from the store actually

Ashly says.

Be safe. Text me when you get there.

I will.

Laying in bed, he closes his iMessage app and opens Instagram.

He finds Ashlyn and starts snooping through her photos. He only recently followed her and he hadn’t had a chance to see any of her pictures yet.

They were simple and he could tell she didn’t spend a lot of time on social media. She only had twelve posts.

Most of them were scenic; photos of a park and a beach. The others were regular candid shots of places and some of her in the photo posing. Most of them were between a year and a year and half old, no more than thirty likes on each photo. He clicks randomly on a picture of a cute border collie laying on her lap.

He reads the caption.

Was nice making a best friend here in PA! We’ll be back, pretty Mia. @miathecollie @paairbnb @y/l/n_y/n

That must be Ashlyn’s little sister. He clicks on the last @ and it takes him to your instagram page.

You’re private but he can see you in your profile picture. Now he could put a photo to the name. He doesn’t request to follow you since he hasn’t met you yet, but he knows he will eventually.

He exists out of the app, and when Ashlyn texts him that she’s in town, and eventually goodnight, he quickly falls asleep.

Next chapter

@rebloggingmyrecs @kjdara @angstsebfan @lethallyprotected @lilfuturescars @ccmarvelxx @thesneakylittleminx @empress-of-riva @death-unbecomes-you @sonicisnotsober @sebsgirl71479 @prettywhenicry4 @dhoruwolfie

#Bucky Barnes #Sebastian Stan #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #bucky x you #y/n #marvel #mcu #marvel fanfic

29 notes · View notes

bucky-at-bedtime · 4 years ago

Text

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

#stucky #stucky fics #stucky fic recs #fic rec

260 notes · View notes

buckymcbuttfacebarnes · 6 years ago

Text

roommates: simplicity is key

pairing: bucky barnes x reader [roommate AU]

words: abt 1100

summary: bucky and y/n explore the idea of being roommates (sam the king is in this one too girlies)

a/n: yall know friends 2 lovers is my fave right? idk how long this series is gonna be

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Y/N,” Sam’s voice rings out from the front of the shop, “Your boyfriend’s here.”

“Shut up, Sam,” you scoff in mock annoyance, shoving him between the shoulder blades as you pass to stand beside him. “Glad to see you’ve finally decided to grace us with your presence.”

“Where’s Liz? I want her to take my order.”

“Shut the fuck up, you know she’s not here.”

Bucky’s mouth quirks upwards into a coy little half smile, his voice is hushed when he leans in close, “I need caffeine.”

You lean in too. “I’m your guy.” It sounds cryptic, vaguely reminiscent of a dealer. It makes the both of you grin. “What do you want? Your usual? Sam will make it for you, won’t ya Sammy?”

He glares at you pointedly, “Last time I checked you worked for me.”

Only halfway true. He owned the coffee shop, which he had opened two summers ago, seemingly on a whim. You had been there from the very beginning of the whole endeavor, you’d been the one who pushed him into starting his own business.

“Work for you? We’re basically partners!”

Now this was totally true. You were technically business partners, but Sam did most of the hard work. You did all of the fun stuff, ordering the coffee, baking the muffins and brownies, tending to more front-of-house procedures.

“Plus, I get off in like—” you squint at the clock hanging crookedly (charmingly, as Sam put it) on the opposite wall. “Two minutes. Be a pal, buddy.” Your grin is met with narrowed eyes. It was really more like fifteen minutes. “And also, I don’t know how to work the new espresso machine!”

His brows raise high upon his forehead when he rolls his eyes, slow and dramatic. Silly. Typical Sam. “This the last time that excuse is gonna work, capeesh?”

When you make a face he shoves your shoulder and you pretend to stumble, it earns a loud laugh from him. Sam had always been a generous laughter. You two were alike in that way.

You turn your attention back to Bucky, who has that look on his face.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Just say it.”

He leans close and his voice is low, “You don’t like that guy?”

You hate that he says ‘that guy’ like he hasn’t known Sam for years.

You match his quietness, “If you ask me if I’m into Sam one more time, I swear I’ll kill you.”

Bucky nods, lips pursed slightly. After a pause, “So that’s a no?”

“No.”

His gaze shifts behind you, where Sam stands with his back turned, dutifully making Bucky’s coffee. They had an odd relationship. Some days they got along, other days they didn’t. For the most part, they were at odds with one another. Both thought the other was a little stupid. You thought they were both equally stupid.

“It just seems like—” leaning in closer now, arms resting atop the counter, brows furrowed, “you know….”

“Mhm…”

“Like he likes you.”

Your mouth open, but shuts when Sam places Bucky’s coffee directly between the two of you. All the while he glares pointedly at a very surprised Bucky.

“Trust me, dude, if I liked Y/N, she’d know. Don’t look surprised,” his voice is light, you can tell he is amused. He whispered loudly, “Your whispering skills ain’t as good as you think.”

It is not until Sam has made his exit that Bucky finally looks back at you, his face stony.

“You’re an idiot, you know that?” you ask (but only after a full two minutes of gut-busting laughter).

He ignores you. “Let’s go sit down.”

Bucky sits with his arms folded over his chest, slouching slightly in his chair. So very boyish of him. He smiles broadly, his annoyance with Sam already melted away as if it hadn’t even existed. There is something on his mind, you can tell. He takes tentative sips of his drink, pausing to make a sly comment about the taste of the coffee.

“Maybe he poisoned it,” you suggest. “I would.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would.”

“You’d miss me too much.”

“Oh? Just wait. Next time you come in—” you slide your thumb across your throat threateningly, “It’s curtains for you, bud.”

He laughs and his eyes crinkle at the edges. “I just won’t come in again then.”

You frown, “No, I’d miss you.”

It earns another laugh from Bucky, a funny sort of chortle and a look that basically says ‘I told you so.’

“You figure out that shit with the apartment?” He finally asks his burning question. It had been sitting in his throat like a hot coal since you’d made a funny joke about being roommates nearly seventy-two hours prior.

“I mean, yeah,” you shrug. You adopt his slouched way of sitting, legs extended long, hands tucked beneath your arms. “I’m gonna have to move.”

“Why don’t you just move to Brooklyn?”

He’d been trying to get you to move to Brooklyn for years, you knew it was just a sweet effort to bring the two of you closer together. The only thing stopping you, really, had been Natasha. Brooklyn wasn’t her cup of tea.

“You just love me so much, don’t you?”

“You know I do—”( you didn’t really know the extent of it, of course) “—So just stay here. The coffee shop is here, I’m here. What else do you need?”

You bow your head, “I just don’t want to…”

“Don’t whine, I hate that shit.”

“I hate apartment hunting.”

“Come live with me, then.”

“I hate your apartment.”

He sounds surprised, “What’s wrong with my place?”

Everything. The neighbors were loud with babies that cried. How did the Johnsons keep popping out kids like that? Who knows? His floorboards creaked and groaned, the appliances were old and gross, his bathroom...God, it was tiny beyond belief.

When you don’t answer he says, “Okay, okay. There’s a lot wrong with my place...So let’s find a new one?”

Your head snaps up, “Really?”

“Really.”

“Really, really? Or are you just trying to be supportive?”

“I mean it, I haven’t renewed my lease...” He had been considering abandoning that beat up place for a long time.

“It won’t be weird?”

“What’s weird about it?”

You make a face, “I mean c’mon, Bucky. We’ve got friends who are going off getting married and starting families…”

“That has nothing to do with us.” His eyes shine with a familiar mischief, “I mean unless you plan on getting married and poppin’ out babies within the next year, I don’t see any reason not to, doll.”

Everything was always so simple to him...he made things simple for you.

“Okay.”

The prospect of living with one another excited you both more than you cared to let on. You hide your giddiness well.

In an effort to mask his he simply grins and says, “Okay.”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #sam wilson

219 notes · View notes