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kyojirokagenuma · 8 months ago

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The Lost Twin Chapter Two

When the missing and presumed dead Beth Washington is suddenly discovered alive a month later, no one knows what to think. There's no sign of Hannah, and Beth appears to have amnesia, remembering nothing of how she survived or where she had been. Her friends are overjoyed at her miraculous survival, but Beth remains haunted by the loss of her sister and scattered, horrifying images of her lost memories. She has Sam. She has Josh. Whether she'll be able to forgive the others remains to be seen.

Then Josh convinces everyone to return to the lodge in honor of Hannah. Beth must now revisit the site of her disappearance, and confront all the madness that comes with it.

“She wasn’t supposed to die. I'm sorry! Please!”

-Emily Davis, 2:21 a.m.

-March 1st, 2014

Beth and her sister Hannah had been missing for nearly a month. The rescue effort had been called off. The only realistic hope now was to recover their remains. Forest ranger Sharon Kudrow, a young mother of two little girls herself, had put more energy into the search than anyone, but even she had given up hope of finding either girl alive. Any police presence in the area had long since faded to a trickle. No one was even confident the remains would be discovered at this rate.

It was getting dark. Almost time for Sharon to go home. She turned off her office lights and headed out towards the door. She would be the last one out.

Outside, a slender figure passed by the bulletin board, just in front of the building. She stopped, looking at the posters that had been nailed to the wall. Her hand weakly lifted, grazing over a faded piece of paper. A sniffle soon snowballed into a pained sob, looking into the eyes the familiar face staring back at her. She hadn’t seen her face since the fall.

Missing: Hannah Elizabeth Washington

The ragged woman collapsed to her knees, crying. Sharon opened the door on her way out, hearing the sounds of grief and misery as she closed it shut. She turned around, quickly spotting the woman kneeling in the deep snow, hands covering her face. She flashed a brow, and approached. When she saw the tattered state of the woman, she picked up the pace.

“Ma’am? Are you all right? Were you in an accident on the mountain?” asked Sharon, coming to the woman’s side.

She kept a safe distance for now, unsure if the woman was dangerous in any way. She looked positively awful. Her face was still concealed to her, but she could tell by the state of her clothes and her unkempt hair that she had been through something hellish. When the woman offered no response, she hesitantly knelt beside her, placing a hand on her back.

“Ma’am, you should come inside. I’ll call someone to come get you. An ambulance by the looks of it.”

The woman still said nothing, but this time she at least lifted her head and turned to Shadon, revealing her dirtied visage. It took a moment for Sharon to realize she had seen this woman before. A much cleaner version, but yes. She had seen her before. Her face was right up there on the board. Right next to her sister’s. Sharon’s eyes shot wide, her hairs on end. She glanced back up to the board to the young woman’s smiling face, then back to the sobbing woman’s kneeling before her.

“What’s your name, miss?” she asked, her heart pounding in her chest.

The freezing woman could hardly muster a reply. Her voice was frail and weak. “B-b-b-beth. Beth W-washington.”

“Oh fucking Christ, oh my god,” Sharon gaped, staring at the presumed dead woman in stark disbelief. “Come on, we need to get you inside,” she said, wrapping both arms around her to help her to her feet.

Beth’s knees were wobbly, but she managed to stand. Slowly, they made their way back to the ranger station’s door.

“How the hell did you make it out here this long? It doesn’t seem possible,” said a breathless Sharon.

Beth offered no reply. She was only focused on making it to the door. Sharon and Beth steadily climbed the steps, then the ranger reached out to turn the knob. As soon the pair got into the building, Sharon set Beth down in a chair so he could rest, then shut the door.

“I'll call the police. Do you drink coffee?”

Beth shook her head.

“How about some hot chocolate?”

Beth’s lip quivered, her eyes lighting up just a bit. “I love hot chocolate,” she finally said.

Sharon offered her a smile. “I’ll go make you some. You just get yourself warm, okay? I’ll get you a blanket.”

“O-okay.”

The first thing Sharon did was go straight to the closet to fetch Beth a warm blanket. She came back over and draped it over the poor young woman’s shoulders. Beth clutched the fabric tight, wrapping it firmly around her shivering body. Sharon went to the landline phone. There was no service up here. She picked up the receiver and dialed 911.

Beth turned, looking over her shoulder to the woman who had saved her. She was so damn cold. Her whole body hurt and ached from malnourishment.

“This is Ranger Kudrow on Blackwood Mountain. Send someone up here right away. I found Beth Washington.” she said, hardly able to believe it herself. It was more like Beth Washington had found her.

A brief pause followed while she listened to the operator.

“Yeah, okay. Good. Oh, and an ambulance. We need an ambulance for her. What? No, I know you don’t call ambulances for bodies, I found her alive. She’s sitting ten feet from me. No, no I’m not joking. Why the hell would I joke about that?”

Beth cocked her head a bit, looking curious.

“Yeah, sure. Whatever. Bye,” Sharon hung up the phone. “Well, I don’t think she believed me, but they’re sending help. It’ll be a while though. We’re pretty far from civilization up here,” she sighed, going over to the kitchen area.

Beth looked around the lodge, rising unsteadily to her feet. “Hey, what’d you say your name was?” she asked the ranger, finally starting to warm up a little.

“Sharon Kudrow. I’m the head ranger around here,” she said, preparing Beth’s hot chocolate first. “Do you like cream?”

“Definitely,” Beth nodded. “How long was I missing for? A few days?”

“What? No, almost a month.”

Beth’s eyes went wide. “A month? Holy shit.”

Sharon turned her head with a confused expression. “How could you think it’s only been a few days? I mean-.”

“I don’t remember anything,” Beth said suddenly. “It’s all a blank since that night.”

“What? Then, then where were you? Just now? Before you came in here?”

Beth shook her head. “I, I just woke up against a tree in the woods. I walked here, you found me, and that’s it. That’s all I have.”

Sharon just stared at her, saying nothing. Beth frowned.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Well, it’s pretty hard to believe, Miss Washington,” said Sharon, turning back to making her drink. “But then again, the fact you’re alive at all is pretty hard to believe. The police are gonna have a lot of questions though, so try to remember something, okay? Like, like where your sister could be? If you’re still alive, then maybe she-.”

“No, my sister’s dead,” Beth said, her face falling.

Sharon heard Beth sniffling again, and turned to see Beth sit back down, sobbing lightly into her hands. Just watching her cry made her grimace. “How do you know for sure? I mean, if you can’t remember anything, then maybe there’s a chance,” she said, trying to be hopeful.

Beth shook her head again, wiping the rears away with the blanket. “Hannah died right when we went missing. On that first night. I, I remember her falling. She fell far. Even if she survived that, if you never found her, there’s no way she could have made it. She would’ve needed help right away. She’s, she’s dead. I know she is.”

“God, I’m so sorry,” Sharon said with a sigh. “I can’t imagine what that’s like. Losing a sister like that.”

“It's the worst thing I could ever imagine,” Beth said. “I couldn’t save her. I tried, but I couldn’t do it.”

Sharon let the silence hang, unwilling to ask anything else. She had pried far enough already. She returned a few moments later with a cup of hot chocolate for her and one for Beth. She handed Beth her cup with a warm smile. “Careful, it’s hot.”

Beth nodded, holding the cup with both hands. “Thank you,” she said, before blowing on the beverage.

Sharon stepped back, taking a sip of her coffee. They sat together in quiet, listening to the howling wind rail against the building. Eventually, after a few sips of her hot chocolate, a thought came to Beth. She blinked, and then rose to her feet.

“Can I use your phone? I wanna call my brother. I want him to hear that I’m alive from me, not the police.”

“Absolutely. Go ahead,” she said, gesturing to the phone.

Beth actually managed a smile, a small bit of energy returning at last. “Thanks.”

Sharon smiled back as Beth turned, hurrying over to the phone with the blanket still wrapped around her. She picked up the phone, both nervous and excited. She dialed her brother’s number, and waited.

“Come on, please pick up, bro,” she said after it had rung a few times with no answer.

Finally, a voice. “Hello?”

Beth perked up, wearing a joyful grin. “Josh? Josh?”

“Yeah, this is Josh. Who is this?”

“It’s, it’s me, Josh! Your sister! Beth!”

There was no reply at first. Beth bit her lip. He probably didn’t even believe her.

“Is this a joke? Is this Jess doing her voice thing? Cause of you guys seriously think this is fucking funny, then-.”

“Josh, it’s not a joke. It’s me! I swear! I’m alive, okay? I’m still the ranger’s station, right now. The police are on their way.”

Beth could only wait anxiously for a response. “Josh? Please believe me.”

He would find out soon enough anyway, but she wanted him to know now.

“. . .What’s your favorite hobby? Your real one, not the what you tell the other girls.”

She spoke quickly. “Hunting. With you and Dad.”

“Holy shit, Beth? Is that really you?”

“Yes! Yes, it’s me! I’m okay!”

Joyful tears ran down Beth’s face. Sharon smiled, able to hear her brother’s incredulous voice from across the room. Her own eyes were starting to water. The poor girl sounded almost happy. For that moment at least, she had forgotten about whatever terrible fate had befallen her.

“Beth! What the fuck? You’re alive? How?”

“I, I don’t know. I don’t remember anything. It’s a blur, Josh,” she confessed, deflating a bit. “But, there is one thing I know for sure. Hannah, she’s gone, Josh.”

“Oh Christ, Beth. You don’t have to tell me,” he said, almost begging her.

Beth pressed on anyway. “She died for me, Josh. We were hanging from a cliff, and, well, I don’t remember everything, its foggy, but we couldn’t both make it. Hannah, well, she dropped herself. I watched her fall.”

Beth took a moment, for she was in tears. Josh said nothing, but she could hear his heavy, labored breaths.

“I’m alive because of her, Josh. Hannah saved me.”

“I’m so sorry, sis. I thought she was gone, but I figured you were too. This is still a good day, Beth. I, well, I have one more sister than I did yesterday.”

“Josh . . .” Beth showed a tearful smile. “So fucking cheesy.”

“This is a miracle, Beth. It’s a fucking miracle. I’m gonna call mom and dad.”

“Okay,” replied an excited Beth. “I’ll, I’ll just wait here, I guess. For the police. I love you, big brother.”

“I love you too, Beth.”

Sharon watched her hang up the phone and hurry back, looking so much more happy than she had moments before. She sat back down, taking a long sip of her hot chocolate now that it had time to cool down.

“You sound like you’ve got a great big brother,” said Sharon.

“Yeah, I do,” Beth nodded, still smiling. “If he lost us both, I can’t imagine what would happen to him.”

Then the pair heard the chopping sound of a helicopter’s propellers outside, and getting louder. They would be hearing sirens soon enough.

“Sounds like the police are here. You ready?” asked Sharon, looking at her worriedly. “This is gonna be a media shitstorm. This will make national headlines, Beth.”

Beth took a deep breath, then another long swig of her drink. “Yeah, I think so,” she finally said.

Sharon smiled, and turned to open the door and meet the police outside. Beth's eyes settled on the poster of her sister nailed to the wall. Her smile faded. It was so hard took away. She may have been safe, but Hannah was still gone. Her twin sister. Her other half.

Gone forever.

She had shared her whole life with her sister. Now she would have to live the rest of her life without her. She was only eighteen. Suddenly the world seemed so much more scary. She rose to her feet, walking over to the poster on the wall, until her Hannah’s smiling face was staring right back at her. Hannah would never leave her, for better or for worse. Beth shut her eyes tight.

“I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do without you, big sister. I’m so sorry.”

#until dawn #beth washington #josh washington #romance #sam giddings #emily davis #horror #fanfiction #bisexual #gay women #major character death

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stanfordsweater · 3 years ago

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What fics make you viscerally upset 👀

i believe i've recced most of these before, but here's a list of fics that are absolutely amazing and just as heart-wrenching, bittersweet, or disturbing. a lot of them are in line with the more creepy things that happen in canon, just taken to a more emotionally devastating place than the show ever brings us. mind the tags, take care of yourself, don’t use any of these to harm yourself if any of them make you uncomfortable (in a way you aren’t looking to feel uncomfortable, in any case)

behold, a pale horse by cherie_morte, 19k+:

AU after 8x23: When Sam fails to complete the third trial, a tear in the barrier between Earth and Hell is created and hellspawn called shadon are unleashed. The only way to bind these creatures and close the gates of Hell is for a sacrifice to be made by the man who chose his own life over completing the trials, and this time, the price is even greater. In order to correct the apocalypse he's released, Sam must kill his soulmate and live with the consequences.

After years without Dean, Sam dies on a hunt and thinks he will finally be reunited with his brother in Heaven. But when his reaper appears, it's Dean himself, and he's not as willing to reap Sam as Sam is to be reaped.

i sobbed for days after i finished this fic and i woke up from nightmares about it for a few *months* after i read it. i truly think this is the worst possible ending for sam and dean, but it’s not necessarily unhappy-- it hits a lot of my worst fears, which is why it affects me so badly. i can’t say anything else without spoiling it, but i truly think this is one of the best fics in this fandom. devastating. (would love to talk about this after you read it!!!! it drives me crazy!!!!!!!! but seriously, go in without spoiling yourself, you’ll thank me later. through tears.)

a list of typos made by god by cherie_morte, 44k+:

The summer before Sam leaves for Stanford, Dean begins to forget his relationship with Sam. Every morning he remembers less, and Sam is just waiting for the day Dean forgets him completely.

iirc this one isn’t as emotionally devastating as the last one, because it’s partially dealing with sam coming of age. it’s a really interesting look at who a teenage sam could be in a world where dean doesn’t remember the things they’ve done together, doesn’t remember their relationship. what do you do when the only person who really knows you begins to forget about you? it’s very well-written and a unique perspective on their dynamic.

fly by askance, 5k:

Sam wakes up in an unfamiliar room with Dean and finds that he can't remember anything past the moment when those angels began to fall from Heaven. He has a sneaking suspicion that something is not quite right.

a what-if variation on how dean could have saved sam at the end of season eight if the angels hadn’t been an option. this is a real horror fic, so be VERY CAREFUL of the tags!! this is such a delicious character piece. ahhh, i don’t want to spoil it for anybody, but askance does a great job bringing sam’s creeping horror to life. just read it, if you’re okay with insects-- it’s that good. (and i love the double meaning in the title, haha)

the hollow summer by deadlybride, 17k+:

Sam rescued Dean from hell, but when it was over only Dean came back to earth. Every summer they steal a few months together, but Sam can never stay. Dean's figuring out how to live with that.

hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ;~; holy shit, i don’t even know what to say-- just read this!! it’s uniquely miserable, yet there’s a strange kind of hopefulness underneath that keeps me from wanting to throw myself off a building like the first fic on this list did. (cherie_morte, if you ever see this, this is a positive review, i swear, jgfjgf) i LOVE any fic that confronts the way that sam and dean are always paying the price for whatever slice of happiness they carve out. they’re cursed. this fic is a gut-punch, and in that way it’s the most interesting version of the sam-saves-dean-from-hell trope. i loved the way different mythologies are woven in-- there’s the persephone parallels from the prompt, but there’s also some orpheus parallels later on, and it’s written in the way that liz always writes like she’s dipping cloth into dye full of atmosphere and emotions and posting the result. we’re so deep into dean’s headspace that it’s a shock when we find out what happened, so long ago, to bring them here, and there’s no way around feeling the same things that dean does, with how rich the descriptions are.

all the long years by nigeltde, 900+:

Nothing changes

unrequited love makes me want to cry. when it’s between sam and dean, that multiples itself tenfold. this is a beautiful ficlet that makes my heart turn over and ache whenever i return to it.

willing by interstitial, 13k+:

After expelling Gadreel, Sam kills himself to close the Gates of Hell. Dean copes poorly alone, and then they cope poorly together.

this one has what i’d consider a happy ending, but it fits here because it has a very sad premise. ...also i’ll plug it anywhere i can because it’s in my top five fics for this fandom. i looooove this fic, i’ve read it five times (and after posting this i’m going for a sixth!!!) i think the characterization of sam and dean is really compelling and it has a great take on hell politics and the shifting landscape with different rulers. love dean’s trauma-related mutism and the echo of sam post-season four running himself ragged to get dean back juxtaposed with dean, in this fic, doing his best to get sam back or die trying. if you love the codependency you’ll love this.

at least he died human by pinbitch, 2k+:

Dean doesn’t believe for a second that the detox can really kill Sam. That’s not the only thing Dean’s wrong about.

i’ll admit i don’t usually enjoy the dean-accidentally-kills-sam fics out there, but the fact that this one is written from dean’s pov made it interesting. i like the bits of what-if horror here, like the idea that they easily could have burned sam alive without realizing he had been resurrected by lucifer, and i loved this line from castiel’s section: The only power he’s been able to muster is just enough to preserve Sam’s body, and he’s starting to think that was a mistake. Maybe if his brother started to smell Dean would be more inclined to burn his remains. i also loved the way that cas isn’t able to identify dean’s very obvious intention to commit suicide as soon as he’s put sam to rest. because i love pain and suffereing i’d be even happier with this fic if they accidentally killed sam again without realizing he had come back to life but that’s a fic i need to write myself i guess

thinking of you by deadlybride, 1k+:

February 17, 2010. Sam struggles with his addiction.

and for a different take on sam’s detox, this is a spectacular “missing scene” from the episode where dean comes to check on sam. cw for addiction, because it felt like a very accurate take on the come down/detox. phew. loved the language around vessels, the repetitive theme of sam being unable to be filled up, and the way that the abruptness every few paragraphs feels like sam suddenly comes to awareness after blacking out.

like it was yesterday by nomelon, 4k+:

Sam can't remember a time when Dean wasn't there. Dean is always with him. Sam's whole life, there's never been anyone else.

there’s literally nothing i can say about this one without spoiling it, but god damn. the best summary for this fic is that Something Terrible Has Happened and you just need to read it, because the slow creeping realization of exactly what has happened is an experience.

#thank me for restraining myself from reccing the n****philia fics #because there's a lot in this fandom and they're all really creepy and well-written LMAO #but apparently i've never bookmarked any so you're safe for one day more #this turned into a list of sad fics rather than disturbing but behold a plae horse and fly and like it was yesterday #are definitely disturbing #at least to me #plain* horse #fic rec #wincest #and also some not wincest #.ask #there's two other fics that i wanted to rec but i know that they're in my fic rec tag so search there for the zombie sam fic #and the preseries one that i won't rec again for petty reasons #edit: what the fuck am i talking about i meant pale** horse

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