#sam insp; images

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. just dean's desperate what? i'll never get over them or this or anything. periodt.

All Hell Breaks Loose - Part Two

I don’t think I will ever be over the complete and utter shock on Dean’s face when he is whispering ‘What?' It’s like this thought never even crossed his mind. He never let himself think of someone looking out for him… Let alone Sam. 

[cagetraumasam-archive]

I was dead from the moment we said hello.

insp. x. 

[samandmaxanotherway]

i had planned forever ago to make a full fan soundtrack for AW (fic) but then never finished it/lost in interest in trying to find songs, so i figured instead that i would just share the songs tht were as insp for me while writing AW instead!! bc hey, why not lol. im just listing these in order on my playlist BUT im also gonna give context as to why these songs were insp if/when possible which will have spoilers to AW but tbh im assuming if ur traversing this blog u’ve already read it gkjhg. songs listed under the cut!!

-kira 

ok so this was being written when i was like. rlly into hadestown & i kept making connections between the story & the songs sOOOOO we’re gonna list all the hadestown songs first gkjfhg

Doubt Comes In (mostly for the scene prior to sam’s revival, where max is questioning if he’ll even get him back)

Epic II (sort of like a song to depict max’s feelings of isolation & anger toward sam growing distant from him over the years)

Wait For Me (BIG song for sam whenever max loses his brain......)

Hey, Little Songbird (this song reminds me of the scene where skunkape’s trying to convince max to side w/ him ok)

Chant (Reprise) (listened to this song w/ the mental image of everyone pulling together to make their final move (primarily whenever sam’s fighting skunkape/trying to stop the maimtron to save max) & also specifically imagined this w/ sam as orpheus, superego as eurydice & skunkape as hades so ✌)

Epic III (takes place aFTER sam gets revived & idk i associate this w/ sam confessing that he got scared of losing max & that he let it consume him to the point of it damaging their relationship & apologizing to max for kinda neglecting him)

Wait For Me (Reprise) (u know damn well this happens between sam & superego before sam goes to stop the maimtron from killing max)

ok now we’re done w/ hadestown here’s some other songs now lmaO

I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie (during the scene w/ sam & superego as sam’s fading away........idk im emo 😔)

I’d Give Anything - Tangled (sam song, specifically during the week or so when max is a monster & he misses him a lot)

Far Away - Tyga (I ASSOCIATE THis mostly with the part where sam finds out max had his brain removed, actually the pic for tht part is named after this song lmao)

I Bet My Life - Imagine Dragons (overall just a sam song, more leaning to right before he goes to skunkape’s ship to stop the maimtron)

Caraphernelia - Pierce The Veil (max song, post-breaking up w/ sam. it’s his angry break-up song basicall y gkJKHGKJGH)

Sleepwalking - Elliot Lee (also a max song, upset abt his rocky relationship w/ sam :( )

Better Than Me - Hinder (SAM SONG, lamenting abt the fact tht he realizes its mostly his fault tht him & max broke up & how he believes max deserves better than him. mostly during the week where max is mia bc Giant Monster)

Come Hang Out - AJR (this is mostly pre-AW but it kinda fits w/ sam progressively growing more distant bc he’s trying so hard to be careful)

Zombie - Damned Anthem (not really fitting for anything tbh but i DID listen to this song while writing skunkape attacking max & it WAS almost the trailer song as well so there’s that lol)

Sink or Swim - Castor Troy (i think is insp primarily bc of /scourgadow’s awesome s&m edits but i do remember listening to it on a loop while writing sam going through his ‘trial’ for the chthonic destroyer)

Main Theme - Pacific Rim (associate this a lot w/ the overall part when max is a monster)

Miracle - The Score (hhEY i’ve rbed this song on this blog before gkjfhgj. yeah this is a sam song, specifically during the week when max is a monster)

A Violent Encounter & Revived Power - Chris Baines (u already know damn well what this is for but i’ll say it anyway; whenever sammy’s scaling maxthulu. shadow of the elder god babey /j)

The Forgotten Children - Aranzazu Calleja (its the trailer sonnngggggg)

Army of One - Shelby Merry (i think i listened to this on a loop at some point, & also its a girl stinky song)

Saving Metroville - The Incredibles (put this bad boy on a loop while writing sam & stinky going up against skunkape bc it is, in my opinion, one of the hardest hitting final fight osts)

Happier - Marshmello ft. Bastille (sam song, specifically for the beginning chapter when he decides to break up w/ max bc all theyre doing is fighting....)

Trying to Save Stitch - Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has a Glitch (this is during the part when max is transforming into a monster!!!!)

[its-always-sunny-in-forks]

Birch—the first of the Celtic tree symbols—for the first moon cycle in the Ogham Tree Calendar, known by celts as Beith. A symbol of new beginnings, hope, new dawns, and the promise of what’s to come. . . 

Bella // Leah new moon era extended fic series. Instead of calling Billy, Charlie calls Harry about his Bella's depression over Edward leaving. Charlie knows that Leah went through something similar with Sam and hopes that the two girls can help heal each other. (insp). (read along playlist).

Hell’s Frozen Over

She’s dead. Charlie's heart bottomed out in his stomach as he saw Sam emerge from the woods behind his house, carrying a despondent Bella in his arms. The night’s fog cleared to make way for his footsteps up Charlie’s lawn, curling back in spirals as if it too knew to fear what was in his arms. She looked so impossibly small and vulnerable there. Charlie had seen enough crime scenes, even in the quiet town of Forks, Washington, to know how this ended. His daughter, barely 18, found dead in the woods. He jogged to meet them, holding his breath. He needed to feel her pulse, see her eyes flutter, anything but the lifeless corpse she was now.

“Bella!” He hoped she would respond to her name, to her father. He clutched her face in his hands for a moment, “Bella, honey, are you alright?”

“Charlie?” His heart bottomed out to his heels in relief. She was alive. He brushed a leaf or two away from her face. She was alive . . . but she didn’t look it. Her face was the palest he’d ever seen it. Her eyes were so hollow he got lost trying to find their life. She was shaking at a violent pace, vibrating in Sam’s arms. It gutted him.

“I’m right here baby.” Charlie had to choke back his emotions, his daughter needed him. He gestured to Sam to transfer her to his arms and he obliged. Charlie faltered for a brief moment, the last time he held her she was only a child, and then began a determined march toward his house. Anger fueled him with ferocious energy. Whoever had done this to his baby girl wouldn’t be alive for much longer.

“He’s gone,” a faint whisper through chattered teeth. Charlie looked down at his shell of a daughter as her fist clutched the front of his chief's jacket. He had a good idea which he she was referring to.

“We’re almost home now, honey.” He had no idea if his words or his voice were reaching her, her expression remained unchanged. Sam had opened the front door for them and Charlie carried her to the couch to lay her down, ignoring her feeble protests. He stopped at the hallway pantry to retrieve two quilts and piled them on top of her after removing her soaked jacket. He couldn’t bare to look at her like that. She hadn’t closed her eyes again but they might as well have been; they bored into the wall, not seeing anything. Her fingers clutched the quilt tentatively, as if her whole body might break into a million pieces if she exert too much force.

He turned to Sam who had followed them in, trying to scrub the image of his broken daughter from his brain, and cleared his thick throat. “Thank you, Sam.” His voice burned with sincerity as he clapped Sam on the shoulder. “Let’s send everyone home,” they both headed out the door. Charlie turned one more time and wished he hadn’t. Bella hadn’t moved, but it seemed with each passing minute her face got paler and the consciousness behind her eyes dimmed just a bit more. He shut the door behind him but the image was one he would not be able to shake for a long time.

 Outside, half the town and then some had gathered. Anyone out searching for Bella had gotten word of her return and was now gathered in a small crowd in his driveway. The rain ricocheted off hoods of jackets as they all looked to him, anxious for word of his daughter’s wellbeing. He was suddenly choked up with emotion for this small and lovely town he had lived in and protected for most of his life. Everyone in front of him was there out of genuine care and concern for him and his family. He braced himself with resolve and cleared his throat once more.

“Bella is alright. I can’t thank all of you enough for what you did for me and my family here tonight.” Charlie realized he couldn’t say much more than that, Bella’s condition was still in question. He glanced at the crowd as Sam took his place next to Harry Clearwater and the La Push group. With a nod from Sam, most of them rolled out. A few Forks locals followed suit, thinning out the caravan of cars parked in front of his house. Many stayed to speak with him personally, offering their help and support. He tried as best he could to keep his face on right, but he felt a headache brew as he scrunched his brow to keep his eyes dry.

He stood in front of Harry Clearwater, the last of the search party remaining and one of his closest friends. If it hadn’t been for Harry putting out the call and bringing the La Push boys up, they might not have found Bella tonight. Charlie shuddered thinking about what could have happened were that the case, remembering all the calls he’d gotten over the summer about animal sightings in the woods. Harry took his hand and pulled him in for a gruff hug. “She's going to be okay, Charlie.” Harry pat him on the back and let him go. Charlie thanked him once more before trooping up the wet porch steps to face what was left of his daughter. He hunched his shoulders against the memories of where he’d last seen a face like hers—staring back at him in the mirror all those years ago.

 Inside, the doctor was finishing his once-over of Bella who sat passively on the couch, unchanging except in position. Charlie winced before screwing up his face in the best smile he could manage as he cautiously lowered his weight on the couch next to her, scared if he disturbed her that she'd crumble to pieces. He placed a hand gently on her back before turning expectantly to the doctor.

“She's not hurt.” He heard what the doctor meant in his eyes. She’s not hurt, physically. He rose and followed the doctor to the entryway.

“Charlie, I haven’t seen a case of shock this bad in…well I haven’t. I have to be honest, I think you’re in for a long couple of days here.” He adjusted the prescription pad under his arm. “I’m writing her a prescription just in case. You don’t have to fill it, but if you find she needs it…it’s here.” He handed Charlie the folded slip. He took it, feeling numb.

“Is it true? Did they leave?” Charlie had heard the rumors churning from the crowd outside. The doctor grimaced.

“Dr. Cullen asked us not to say anything. The offer was very sudden; they had to chose immediately. Carlisle didn’t want to make a production out of leaving.”

“A little warning would have been nice,” Charlie spat the words, feeling his fists clench at his sides. He reminded himself that Dr. Gerandy was only the messenger and took a deep breath through his nose. The doctor gave him a sympathetic look.

“Yes, well, in this situation, some warning might have been called for.” He looked back toward the living room remorsefully. Charlie did not follow his stare, he didn’t want to see what he knew would be there.

One more thank you to punctuate the endless night from hell and his house and driveway were finally empty. There was nothing left out there but black rain, pounding against the windows as if to get to Bella, knowing she needed something to drown in. He started back toward the living room, not wanting to think about who else was empty. He passed by Bella, happy to see at least that her eyes were closed. Her breathing seemed even, she appeared to be asleep and for that he was glad. He knew from experience, even though he would never verbalize the vulnerability, that the pain dulled in sleep. He brushed her drying hair from her forehead. In sleep, her face almost looked normal. Almost. He could see a line where her brow furrowed, even in her sleep. He traipsed toward the kitchen and picked up the phone, dialing the familiar number.

“Hey, Billy, it’s Charlie—sorry I’m calling so—" he looked down at his watch and blinked incredulously, “—early.”

“Not at all Charlie, is Bella alright?” His voice was strained with worry. Billy loved Bella in many ways like his own daughters.

“No, she’s fine. She’s sleeping—”

“I’m so glad she’s okay Charlie, we were all so worried. You’ll let us know if you need anything okay?”

“Thanks, but that’s not why I called.” Charlie sighed. It seemed like ten years ago but it was only early evening, when the search was just beginning, that Mrs. Stanley had called him. That’s when he first heard the news. “I got a call from Mrs. Stanley, and she says that from her second-story window she can see fires out on the sea cliffs, but I didn’t really…” He didn’t really have time to do his job this evening. Nor the mental capacity. Charlie was a broken man all afternoon, not knowing if Bella was alive or dead. Some fires out in La Push were the least of his worries.

Billy chuckled, “Ah, that was our boys. They got a little over excited over the news. Cullens are gone. They’re celebrating.” His inflection grouped himself in with ‘the boys'. Charlie bristled. How could his friend be so cavalier about the loss of the best doctor in town, and the loss of his daughter’s sanity, apparently.

“Oh,” Charlie hadn’t gotten a hold of his knee-jerk anger yet, his irritation slipped into his voice. “And why are they doing that?”

“Oh, you know teenage kids. They’ll use any excuse to start a fire.” His voice let on there was more he wasn’t telling.

“Uhuh,” Charlie waited for Billy to say what he wasn’t saying.

“You know the Cullens aren’t much liked here.”

“Really?” Charlie made no illusion to hide the sarcasm in his voice now. Billy backtracked and sputtered out an apology on the boys' behalf but Charlie cut him off. He wasn’t in the mood for his friend’s patronizing act tonight. “Well don’t apologize to me, I’m surprised they got them lit at all in this weather.” They hemmed and hawed for another minute, Charlie thanked him again and hung up. He dredged back into the living room, grumbling only slightly.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice sounded wrong—hollow. Nevertheless, she was saying something. He rushed to her side.

“I’m sorry I woke you, honey.” He crouched down next to her head.

“Is something burning?” Her nose scrunched up in confusion.

“It’s nothing. Just some bonfires out on the cliffs.” He clenched his fist again. That anyone could be glad the Cullens were gone was a mystery to him.

“Bonfires?” Her voice waned in curiosity, he almost couldn’t bare this more than her not speaking at all.

“Some of the kids from the reservation being rowdy.” He frowned.

“Why?”

He looked to the floor, delaying his answer. “They’re celebrating the news.” His voice betrayed his anger. He saw the pieces connect in her head, she winced as she did.

“Because the Cullens left,” her voice was barely a whisper now. “They don’t like the Cullens in La Push—I’d forgotten about that.”

His anger flashed behind his eyes. “It’s ridiculous,” although it was only an hour before that he had sworn death on at least one of the Cullens. He looked at her, her hand clutching at her chest, eyes vacant. He did this to her.

“Bella?” He did his best to control his tone of voice. She reluctantly met his gaze. “He left you alone in the woods?”

Pain flashed in her eyes for a brief moment. “How did you know where to find me?” She asked incredulously, sitting up. She was seeming more alert by the minute, though the light wasn’t returning to her eyes.

Charlie reached into his pocket, “Your note.” He unfolded it, the paper creased where he held it in his clenched fist, checking it every five minutes to make sure it was still there. Charlie had found the note on the kitchen table when he got home from work that evening. He didn’t think too much of it at first. But after an hour, his every thought revolved around that one sentence note.

“When you didn’t come back, I called the Cullens, and no one answered,” his voice was gruff, getting lost in his remembered panic. “Then I called the hospital, and Dr. Gerandy told me that Carlisle was gone.” He didn’t add on that he sent a cruiser to the Cullens' place to make sure.

“Where did they go?”

“Didn't Edward tell you?” Her eyes flashed in pain again before she could conceal it. His burned with rage. The boy left his daughter in the woods, broke her completely, without even telling her where or why they were going.

“Carlisle took a job with a big hospital in Los Angeles. I guess they threw a lot of money at him.” He frowned. Dr. Cullen didn’t seem the type to be in it for the money. He gritted his teeth and refocused. “I want to know if Edward left you alone out there in the middle of the woods.” He practically spat the name.

She winced, shaking her head. “It was my fault. He left me right on the trail, in sight of the house… but I tried to follow him.”

His anger burned but he kept an even tone. “I’m sorry he did that to you—” before he could get the words out, she was shaking her head again, with her hands over her ears.

“I can’t talk about this anymore, Dad. I want to go to my room.”

He reached out to her, trying to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but she scrambled off the couch and upstairs in a rush. With a sigh, he rose and lurched to the kitchen phone again, calling out of work—it was nearly the time he’d be heading out the door. His feet were heavy on the stairs, and he barely kicked his shoes off before falling into bed.

The heavy stress-induced slumber would be the only undisturbed sleep he got for a long time beyond that.

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dean's huge ass smile. and relief. sam's finally here. been so long since he laid eyes on him. that hug's been cooking forever. and the road's been waiting. wait til he shows you everything he's seen, sammy. it's perfect here. well. it is now that you're here. and he can't stop touching him. can't stop looking at him or take his eyes off him for long. that's okay. take it all in, sam. i've seen this all before. but i'm just gonna stand here and stare at you. cause you're everything this place was missing. they just love each other SO FREAKING MUCH LOOK AT THEM! i did myself a dirty again just coming here to post it. i'm cryin.

15x20 - Carry On

[pastrebelling-blog]

tag dump ii

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i love how in these gifs, all but the one you can't really see 'em.. they are always angled towards one another and/or are close to each other. even in sleep. they just naturally seek each other out and it hits me in the feelings where it COUNTS, man. on the edge of the bed closest to either one's side. or close in a way by proximity. or both. because that's just how they sleep. how they orbit in one another's gravity because for so long? each other is all they had. and that just never goes away. THESE FREAKING ASSHOLES MAN. 🥺🥹😭

SPN Parallels: Sleeping!chesters

[cincinnatiburn]

introducing sam______ evans. sam is a thirty year old mayoral aide who lives in cincinnati, ohio but is originally from _______, ________. when asked to describe himself, sam says he is ______, ______,and ______. currently the role is open for auditions with a face claim of chord overstreet

without losing a piece of me, how do i get to heaven?

they say the south raises gentleman and those were words that samuel evans’ parents took to heart. from a young age, their son was taught to love god, say please and respect his elders. the older he got, the more protective over his younger siblings that he got. sam was the kind of son that constantly got praise from others to his parents and trying to image sam as anything but a parents dream was impossible.

in high school, he lettered in almost every sport and showed of his book smarts at the same time. most of the town speculated that sam evans would go on to something great and he planned to do that. while the scholarships came in, and schools like florida state and Alabama rolled of the tongues of others, sam surprised everyone and headed to ohio to attend the university of cincinnati and major in political science. after graduating with honors, sam opted to remain in cincinnati and started to get involved in the local politics scene. most of his friends are baffled by his openly conservative and republican beliefs but sam is always the first to challenge them. he may be gay but he’s still the good christian southern boy his parents raised him to be. working for the republican mayor of cincinnati has really got his friends worried as the mayor swears he’ll clean up fire street. sam is exhausted trying to justify his beliefs to his friends and to him, the only thing that matters is that he knows he would never jeopardize his own moral code for any reason.

without changing a part of me, how do i get to heaven?

coming out - people didn’t come out in the small town sam lived in. it was just fact. the churches all preached about how god hated the homosexual and it was a sin but even as sam heard that, he saw the words saying god loved him. at eighteen, just before he left home, he told both his parents he was gay and they told him they loved him all the same. moving to a more liberal place like cincinnati allowed sam the freedom to really explore his sexuality and while he’d never dream of going back to the closet, when sam heads back home, he doesn’t make his personal life a point to discuss.

sex - unlike the extreme majority of his friends, sam doesn’t believe in random hooking up and anonymous sex. sure, he’ll still go out and he’ll check some guys out, but for sam the night never ends in random sex, especially not in public places. his friends can try and give him crap for it but sam is true to himself and how he feels. he’s had sex, and he’ll have it again, but he wants sex to mean something if he’s having it.

relationships - from the start, sam has always wanted a love like his mom and dad. married more than thirty years, three kids and a beautiful life, that’s his goal. sam knows he’ll find his husband and go on to have some kids of his own. he’s in no rush to settle down though but he’s very careful in who he chooses to date and if it’s not the real deal after three or four months, he’ll end it. love exists out there and sam intends to prove even on fire street a guy can find his perfect match.

future - sam’s future summary will be written by his mun.

                 ♕ sam’s application ♕ sam’s insp ♕ sam’s mix ♕ sam’s connections ♕

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sam's nervousness. the shifting eyes in the direction of his brother and the way his body shifts towards him too so that you know his feet probably did. the flinch in his mouth. how dean's gotta back up what they did while looking at the floor til the very end. then has to force himself to swallow a boulder sized rock in the back of his throat. the clench of his jawline that gives away into a twitch. he's trying so hard not to break that stare cause he knows what'll happen if he backs down. but those eyes briefly widen before he steadies himself.

you can't tell me these boys don't understand the wrath of john winchester. and know what will happen if they provoke it. there's fear in two grown men. who have faced horrible things without a moment's hesitation. but looking at their father's anger? are instantly terrified. these BROTHERS.

1.20 DEAD MAN'S BLOOD

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// sam's face tho. the drama! the wtffff?? i will never not lol. bless him and his lil did that just happen?!?! heart.

Supernatural — Season 6 Episode 3

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sam and his 'don't make eye contact' lolol. dean loves his weird baby bro. you'dreallylovethosefingerstrusthimsammy.

2.13 | Houses of the Holy

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@ruinedmyself --these idiots. i love 'em. sfm.