#saltywind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

justsomewheretorantaboutthings · 5 years ago

Text

A Piece of Shit’s Dream

(I just found this stupid and vulgar short story I wrote sometime last year. Wanna post it here because I found it really hilarious)

I'm a piece of shit. Literally. I'm a piece of sturdy shit in Jessica's butt. As a piece of shit, I know my fate at the moment that I was formed in Jessica's bowel, that I'll end up in a toilet then be flushed down to the sewer and get mixed with all the other people's shit and pee and stuff. I'm okay with everything except the getting mixed with other shit part. If that happens, I know I won't be myself anymore. That's the most horrifying fact. Even though I'm just a regular piece of shit, I value free will very much. As a piece of shit, I won't be living forever. On the contrary, I think I'm gonna faded away pretty soon. I'll be good as long as I'm still a piece of fresh shit but if my body become too dry or break down into smaller pieces, I'm a goner. I'm not afraid of dying even if my impending doom is within a day at most but I have a dream that I want to fulfill before I'm gone. My dream is to see the sea. I'm bestowed with some knowledge that my host knows that's why I have a faint image of the sea in my mind. The vast blue collection of unimaginable amount of salty water, how facinating! I just can't stop thinking about it. I don't even understand why am I so obssessed with the sea, maybe Jessica was thinking about it when she conceived me, maybe I was made of what remained of seafood, or maybe it's just my unique trait! Anyway, I just have to see the sea before I die. Somewhere behind me, I can sense some diarrhea is coming. I think this is my chance.

'Hey, Diarrhea! Can you hear me?' 'Yeah, you piece of shit. What do you want?' 'Do you think you can do me a favor? Can you speed up a little and eject me out of the rectum real fast?' 'WHAT? Why would I do that?' 'Because I don't want to end up in the toilet. I've gotta see the sea!' 'Are you crazy? If you don't go down the sewer with all the other shit, how long do you think you are gonna last out there?' 'I know that but I don't want to be just a part of an entity just to exist for more days. I'd rather be myself for one single day and die after I see the sea.' 'Alright, you've convinced me. I'm diarhhea so I'm not even gonna make it to the sewer since we always dissolve into the water and fade the second we spray out from the ass. I'll make my last moment count by helping you fulfill your dream. Are you ready? Okay, here we go!'

As Diarrhea activates himself, the bowel squirms violently as it's eager to eject everything within it.

'I can't squeeze myself out of Jessica's anus! She must be holding us back pretty hard! Try harder!' 'Right right. I'm trying here. Just wait for several minutes, she can't hold it for that long.' 'Okay. I'll try to squeeze harder too. Wait, why is it shaking in here?' 'Oh no, it must be Jessica going to the toilet! We have to let you out before she reaches it!' 'Hrrrrggnnnn!! LEMME OUTA HERE!! YOU LITERAL STINKY ASSHOLE!! HEY! I THINK I CAN SEE THE LIGHT! I'M ALMOST THERE!' 'Good work, soldier! Let me lend you a hand! I've been save this fart in me for this vital moment! Good luck out there, you little piece of shit!' 'FAREWELL, DIARHHEA! THANK YOU FOR YOUR HEEELLLLLPPPPP--' As I yell goodbye to diarrhea, a fart explodes behind me so I have enough momentum to finally push through the tightly closed anus. I can feel myself flying. Thank god Jessica is wearing dress today, no offense but I don't want to be trapped with a pile of diarrhea in her pants. That sounds miserable. 'Ouch.' That's a tough landing. I'm now rolling on the ground and then I stop after I hit a wall. It's a far corner in a corridor where I stopped. I think I hear Jessica wailing from far away. Sorry girl, but this is what I have to do to fulfill my dream. Boy, do I feel bad about this. Lying in this dim corner, I have to come up with a plan. It's painful to admit my total lack of mobility and it's certainly not possible for me to call a taxi. First, I have no money on me. Second, there ain't no shit taxis as far as I can remember. Just like moments ago, I need someone else's help. How fortunate! Just a second after I wished for help, a fat fly lands on me.

'Hello there, Miss fly. How are you?' 'Aren't you a beautiful piece of shit? Say, sonny, what are you doing at a place like this? Shouldn't you be in some toilet like the rest of your kind usually do?' 'I can't lose myself yet. I have to see the sea.' 'To see the sea? That's a weird purpose for a piece of shit to have.' 'Yeah, I know that's uncommon. But I just have to. So can you lend me a hand?' 'Sure, it's not like I have any thing better to do with my life anyway. You know, the usual fly stuff. Flying around, annoying people and getting smashed into fly jam for doing that.' 'Thanks! Then can you help me moving around? You see I can't move even a little bit of my body by myself.' 'I'm too small to carry you. In fact, I couldn't lift you up even a single bit.' 'Aww, that's too bad.' 'Don't worry. I know a friend who can help you. But I'd like to ask a favor from you, too. I want to lay eggs in your body after everything is done.' 'I don't have a problem with that. I bet I won't even notice you doing that since I will probably already be gone by the time!' 'Deal. I'll go get my friend. Oh wait, I think I see him over there. Hey! Roachy! Come here!'

As fly calling out, I can see a mass black thing is approaching towards us. It's a huge cockraoch that is almost as big as myself.

'Howdy, Fly. Say, why are you hanging out with a piece of shit in the middle of a corridor?' 'This piece of shit wants to see the sea and I’m gonna help him. That's why we need your strength to move him around. So would you help us?' 'Sure, I guess. As long as you let me eat some shit after all this is over.' 'What? You eat shit?' 'We cockroaches would eat anything that is free.' 'Ok, I'm fine with this.' I said. 'So, where is the sea anyway? I haven't seen any place called sea in my life before.' 'It's supposed to a vast pool of salty water. Maybe we just need to head toward whichever direction that smells salty?' 'Alright, you can leave this to me. We flies have good sense of smelling.'

Thus the filthy trio begin to follow the saltist smell the fly can sense. After some journey, they end up in a kitchen of a seafood restaruant. Somehow I have a familiar feeling to this place.

'I ate at your place earlier and your food made me crapped myself! I must be compensated!'

I hear Jessica's voice. That must be it. I really was made of remains of seafood. Now let's see if we can find sea anywhere near.

'Hey! What do you think you are doing here?' We turn our head to the source of the sudden voice. It's a grey mouse who looks quite old. 'We are looking for the sea. This piece of shit demands to see it before he dies.' 'That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Anyway, you should get out of here immediately! There's a girl raising a ruckus outside and if people find out that your kinds are in the kitchen, this place is sure to be closed! And if that happens my family will lose the precious source of food! Can't you see how much damage will you cost for just being here?' 'I know but I've got too short a life to care about that.' 'Same for me and roach. We are short-lived beings too. We only care about our next meal.'

As we arguing with the grey mouse, I glance upon something blue upon the wall in the dinning area outside.

'Hey! I think I've found the sea!' 'What? Are you joking? This city is no place near the ocean!' The mouse exclaimed. 'But outside! That's definitely the sea!' 'What? You mean that painting?' 'Yes! The smell of fish, the saltywind and the vast blue! That's definitely the sea that I'm looking for! Cockroach, please roll me near to it!' 'You got it!' 'No you can't go out! People will see!'

Mouse desperately tries to stop cockroach from rolling me forward but cockroach is just too strong for a feeble old mouse to stop.

As I'm being rolled down near the sea I've been yearning. I'm finally at peace and my conciousness starts to fade. I can feel the most satisfaction that my short life could brought. The fly starts to lay egg onto half of my body and the cockroach is devouring the other half. But I don't care anymore. I think I hear Jessica yelling again. She must has seen us, a piece of shit and a fly and a cockroach and a mouse coming out of the kitchen. I don't care what's gonna happen next.

I'm not afraid of losing my myself anymore.

What a meaningful life I've had.

#writing #short story #short story writing #vulgar story #shit story

1 note · View note