#saint if u see this YES IM GOING TO BED NOW u fuckn fruit

[moonlitclearing]

i lied im still awake im like obsessed with the idea of onni smiling genuinely..... he doesnt smile very often so im just imagining were talking and i say something and he gets this fond genuine smile on his face and i notice (of course i notice, how could i not) and its perfect and i cant help but stare.. he realizes im looking and his face flushes and he asks what i want and i just laugh and lean in and tell him its nothing, i was just zoning out, but in my mind im replaying that smile over and over and wondering how i can make him do it again, preferrably to me and preferrably many many times

im also thinking about how his voice changes when he talks to me... hes always guarded but when were alone those walls drop, his voice softens and he gets a raw genuine note in his voice when he tells me he loves me.. sometimes he almost sounds reverential in the way he says it, like he cant believe that im here, that i love him the way that i do, and i bring him close and kiss the worries out of his mouth until hes laughing and tearing up and shakily saying again that he loves me