#safe sane and consensual demand for a whack upside the head

[dandelionjack]

i can’t start testosterone because being viewed as a masculine person will prevent me from embodying my self-assigned fairytale roles (the fridged girlfriend who motivates the partner to keep fighting/the lonely girl who falls in love with some shunned monstrous being/the naive protagonist of a cautionary tale folksong being led astray by a mysterious stranger) i suppose you can still identify with these archetypes if you’re some kind of waifish twink but knowing what my father looks like i’d become the opposite of my self-perception ideal. on the other hand if i don’t get top surgery soon i’m going to suffocate under the weight on my chest tragically cheesy pun intended. do you choose a story or a liveable life. i should die for something worthwhile before i’m forced to make that choice. time is running out i’m becoming a woman and it terrifies me. either i remain a girl forever frozen in time through death or i transition now and become something unknowable to myself