#safe comfortable and isolated from the world was the feel I was trying to capture

[canisalbus]

I'm sorry to send a message of sorts through your Ask tab, but I want to say that I really love your piece, " Seclusion ". First, I really love how the room and objects around Vasco and Machete look. The headrest's texturing is extremely cool. It looks beautiful. It makes sense with the era these two lived in, of course, but the design of the headrest feels much older in comparison to modern times now, and I think that's really cool, personally. It's a bit difficult to describe, but the pillows and bedding both look really soft. It feels protective, almost. Finding comfort in isolated sheets, but your characters are together. The comfort is not only furthered, I imagine, but I could see them feeling safe with and because of each other, too. They're resting in silent, cool darkness, the breathing of the other bringing them into a world of just their own, to breathe with just one another, I feel. The way you depict them here, they both look safe, so to speak? They feel so sealed away from the outside, and comfortable. Resting against one another, and the fact that they dress differently to bed, I think is really lovely. This piece is really sweet. Thank you for creating all that you do. It truthfully means a lot to see, and learn of.

.

[brighteststar707]

I don't usually message ppl off of anon but I thought it'd be fun to participate. 👉👈👀💦 Can I take ruby chocolate with Saeyoung and a fem MC and basically have some warm domestic fluff where they're trying to get used to being together? could be suggestive or not, up to you.

Amy! I'm so happy you decided to come off anon and join! Thank you for the request!

Listen... I don't know what happened here. I had an idea in my head, and suddenly it was 2k+ words. Just be warned. I tried to make it as fluffy and domestic as possible, so I hope I captured the vibes!

Slots are still open for the milestone event!

✧ Ruby Chocolate ~ Showing physical affection

Saeyoung lies in bed, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars he pasted up on the ceiling a lifetime ago. Beside him, his partner lies sleeping. She fell asleep an hour (maybe more) ago, and he has been listening to her slow, steady breaths for a while now.  

He has always had trouble sleeping. His anxiety, left over from years of having to be alert at all hours of the day, keeps him up at night. Even the reassurance that the two people he loves most are safe isn’t always enough to calm him down. Sometimes, his thoughts just keep running. It leaves him restless and antsy, desperate to get up and do something about it.

He sighs and shifts over to lie on his side. If he tried, he could just about make out his girlfriend’s form in the dark. They’re close, but not touching, but even if they were, she’d still be worlds away. It’s a strange thing to think, but he misses her. Nights like this leave him feeling like the only person in the world.

Tonight, he can’t help but watch her, the steady rising and falling of her chest. She only moved in a month ago, so having her here next to him is still a novelty. So many things are still new to them.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Saeyoung spent the first two weeks of his relationship believing that he might never get to see the future he had been dreaming up. He was wired to believe that every day might be his last, and if this mission to save Saeran was the most important one of his life, then why wouldn’t it be the one to kill him? The life he was hoping for was one he didn’t deserve, after all (though he never said this part out loud).

It’s a strange way to live, when you’re unsure if you’ll still be alive in a week. Stranger still when you’re experiencing real love for the first time. All the hesitation and awkwardness that usually come with new love were pushed aside, because he was certain his days were numbered. Why would he wait to confess to her how deeply he cares for her? Why would they not kiss when they want to? It was now or never.

The physical boundaries between them quickly eroded after they left the apartment together. There was rarely a moment in the next week where they weren’t touching . He rested his hand on her thigh as he drove for hours on end, she would curl up next to him while he was working, they’d pull each other closer as they drifted off to sleep.

It surprised him how quickly he got used to this familiarity. He had spent so much time by himself, isolated from the world, that he had never imagined being able to keep someone so close to him. They felt like extensions of each other, not made to be separated now that they had finally found one another.

It wasn’t just physical closeness, either. They bared their souls to one other and shared their secrets and fears with one another. He was open about his feelings for her, and she seemed to understand him almost better than he understood himself.

She always seemed to be able to read him so easily. It was a surprisingly comfortable feeling, to be known by her.

When he woke up in the hospital after the events that happened at Mint Eye and found her sitting by his bedside, it felt like a divine gift. He had survived this mission and been given the chance to deliver on all the promises he made. He’d actually be allowed to get more than just a few days with the person he loved. If he was lucky, he’d get a lifetime.

If the first days had felt like a whirlwind, the following months were agonizingly slow. He remembers a lot of hospital waiting rooms, frustrating conversations with doctors that never seemed to go anywhere, and painful silences in the bunker as he waited for Saeran to say something, anything.

He knew that his plan to break Saeran out of the hospital would mean a prolonged separation from his girlfriend, but he didn’t realize just how painful the distance would be. He found himself back in his office on most days, reminiscing the days where all he could do was wait for a text from her (and here he was again, still waiting on her texts).

They both knew it was worth it. Saeran’s recovery was their top priority, the first step to building up their family. It didn’t make it any easier, though. For a while, all they could manage was talking over the phone. They’d remind each other that this was the road to a future that they both wanted.  They just had to get through this part.

When he let himself fantasize about a time when they could be together again, he thought back to those early days. Hunger for closeness and the comfort that only physical touch could bring. His arm over her shoulders, her hands in his hair, the softness of her skin. He craved her.

Imagine his surprise when they finally reunited and he found himself tongue tied. He wanted to reach for her, to hug her tight and never let go, but he could barely reach out to hold her hand. The time they spent apart seemed to have manifested in a physical distance between the two of them that neither of them knew exactly how to breach. The familiarity they had built up in their days on the road was something they seemed to have lost.

When they tried to talk to each other, their sentences came out stilted. He could hear the things they were trying to say between the lines, the things they actually meant under all the pleasantries and vague comments, but it was caught in their throats. Their conversations consisted of more words unsaid than anything meaningful.

It was ridiculous to him. They were in love, had already promised each other the world, already gone through all the steps that other couples had gone through, only to land back at square one.

How had he once been able to be so emotionally vulnerable with her? Now he can barely find the words to tell her that her absence has felt like a missing limb. That he still wakes up from nightmares scared that she's hurt.

He started to worry that they were moving backwards instead of forwards. All this time apart wasn’t doing them any good. He decided that, as soon as he got Saeran’s blessing, he would ask her to move in with them. Sharing the same space again, going through the process of healing from the things they had been through together instead of apart would bridge that distance that had built up during their separation, or so he hoped.

The bunker had been empty for so long, that two extra inhabitants made it feel bustling (even when Saeran didn’t leave his room very often). He was still surprised by the sight of her just relaxing in the living room or working on something at her own desk. She was here with him, in this house that has so often felt like an isolation cell. With both her and Saeran living here with him, it had slowly turned into a home without him even realizing it.

Slowly, they started to find their way back to each other. One day, while sitting on the sofa with a book, she found him hovering at the doorway to the living room, unsure whether to enter and interrupt her or just let her enjoy her time. She smiled at him affectionately and beckoned him over to her. He joined her on the sofa (not close enough for them to touch, he thought with frustration), and smiled sheepishly.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” he said, eyes going to the book sitting forgotten on her lap.

“So you decided that hanging out at the door like a creeper was the best option?” She asks teasingly.

He doesn’t have an answer for her. He can feel the heat rising in his cheeks, as it has been doing so often since they reunited. He could have sworn he wasn’t this easily embarrassed around her before (and she’d disagree with him). He laughs bashfully and his hand shoots to the back of his neck. “I… guess?”

She shakes her head in mock disapproval, “I thought you were more discreet than that, agent.”

“So what are you reading?” If he changes the subject, maybe she’ll stop teasing him and he’ll be able to think clearly again.

“It’s an old favourite. Want to hear about it?”

“Of course.”

“Then – “ she clumsily gestures to the empty space next to her. “Come here. You’re too far away.”

He laughs properly this time. There couldn’t’ be a more apt description of their current situation. At her invitation, he shuffles over so he’s resting against her. She runs her fingers through his hair, probably trying to smooth out the stubborn bits that never seem to want to lay flat. It’s a familiar gesture, one that immediately puts him at ease.

Before he can stop it, he says, “I missed you.”

She presses a quick kiss to his hairline. “Me too.”

It got easier from then on. They’d seek each other out in each other’s spaces, and soon they were automatically making room for each other. The conversation flowed more easily, and they started to reach for each other like it was second nature.

He’d find her in the kitchen, and wrap his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. He’d laugh when she shivered at the feeling of his breath against her ear and ask her for a taste of whatever she was making.

She’d join him in his office, first pulling up a spare chair (one that had once been Vanderwoods), then slipping onto his lap at his invitation.

Like blood returning to a limb gone to sleep, they fell back into sync with each other. It felt natural, right.

If he asked her to describe what it was like to live with him after a month, she’d say he was like a clingy cat, which is a metaphor she thinks he’d appreciate if she ever told it to him.

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Eventually, he gives in and gets out of bed. He swears to himself he’ll just tinker for a few hours to settle his mind, maybe play a round of LOLOL with Yoosung if he’s still up, then go back to bed. She won’t even notice. He’ll be back in bed before morning, in time to be with her again by the time she wakes up.

In his office, he pulls out plans he had started working on for upgrades to his front gate. He has a lot more to protect in the bunker now than he ever had, and he has been overflowing with ideas on how to keep the place safe.

He isn’t even aware of how much time passes as he works, alternating between plans and little bits he already has started. In fact, he’s so focused on his work that at first, he doesn’t hear the door to his office opening.

What he does hear is the shuffling of bare feet as she enters the room, dressed in just an old t-shirt of his and a blanket pulled over her shoulders.

“Sunshine! What are you doing awake?”

“You were gone,” she replies. Her eyes are squinting against the light of his screens and her voice sounds groggy. He is hit with an ache in his chest. He woke her up after all.  

“I’m sorry,” he says, “come here.”

He holds out his arms to her and she pads across the room to join him. She settles on his lap, straddling him so they sit face to face. His hands automatically go to her waist to hold her steady. She wraps the ends of her blanket over his shoulders so they can share warmth.

“Why are you up?” She asks.

“I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d work until my mind shut off; you know?” He phrases it like a joke, but she knows there is truth under it. She knows it better than anyone. On nights where he does manage to quickly fall asleep, she tells him that he mutters incoherent sentences under his breath and can't lie still.

“Hmm,” she stifles a yawn, “what are you working on?”

“Security stuff, mostly,” he wants to explain it further, but with her so close, he finds his mind wandering from his work. He thinks instead about the warmth of her body so close to his, the way her fingers are absentmindedly tracing little shapes across his upper back over where she’s holding the blanket. How a few weeks ago it was difficult to hold each other’s hands and now they can be this close again. How he wants to be closer. 

She must notice something shift in his expression (she always does) because instead of pushing for him to explain further as she usually would, she dips her head down to press a kiss to the base of his neck. He shivers, despite the warmth.

He can’t for the life of him imagine why he ever got out of bed. She continues to press soft kisses to his neck, and his hands move from her waist to her bare thighs.

Breath warm against his skin, she says, “maybe you can continue that tomorrow, what do you think? You can explain everything to me when I’m awake enough to understand it.”

He hums shortly, not trusting his voice with much else. All he knows is that he doesn’t want her to go back to bed without him. He moves to stand up from his chair, and her legs wrap around his torso.

Together, they return to bed.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.

OK, so I'm giving a warning:

I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.

Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.

For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters sold and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)

So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)

BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.

(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)

Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.

And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.

Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.

So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is me trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.

So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.

(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)

[judjira]

apartment au

character notes !

kim dahyun - a regular, run-of-the-mill, average college student that just so happens to come from a long line of human caretakers that manage the sanctuary, a haven for supernatural creatures.

yoo jeongyeon (kokabiel) - a fallen angel, and a member of the grigori, a group of angels that willingly chose to fall from grace in order to watch over, protect, and teach humans how to live.

hirai momo (lupa) - a wandering she-wolf that lost her home, traveling from civilization to civilization, trying to find a pack to call her own.

minatozaki sana (carmilla) - a lonely vampire that distances herself from humans in order to protect them, subjecting herself to painful solitude in order to keep the people she loves safe.

myoui mina (?) - a ghost that has no recollection of her past or her true name, desperate for a love that will make her feel alive again.

chou tzuyu (barachiel) - a seraphim, a guardian angel, tasked with protecting heroic and special souls that are destined for great things.

im nayeon (mephistopheles) - a runaway devil that abandoned the fires of hell in order to live a peaceful life, all the while coming to terms with the terrible things she's done in the name of hell.

son chaeyoung (loki) - a trickster with a penchant for mischief, hiding out from spirits and deities that seek to persecute her for her tricks and mischief.

park jihyo (scathach) - an immortal demigod witch, forever searching for the soul of her one true love, a hero that captured her heart at first sight.

drabbles !

(listed in written chronological order, going down !)

groundskeeper - dajeong, fluff

a walk in the park - damo, fluff

heading home - saida, fluff

a rude summoning - mihyun, side mitzu, fluff

tzuyu's day off - datzu, fluff

a deal with the devil - dayeon, hurt and comfort

slippery business - dubchaeng, crack(?)

lost and found - dahyo, hurt and comfort

solitude (no more) - misamo, hurt and comfort

sleepless - dahyun/everyone, fluff

subway shenanigans - samotzu, fluff and humor

unexpected - dajeong, first meeting

playlists !

dahyun - that one vibe dahyun is the definition of going with the flow. think standing in the subway, waiting for the train, nodding off as music drowns out the sounds of the railway. her song is "good company" by sos !

jeongyeon - calm winds she’s a very calm individual, and she’s always likely to go with the flow and really just feel things along ! the song that speaks about her the most is “the sun is in your eyes” by jacob collier !

momo - take a break she’s also calm like jeongyeon, but her kind of calm is more secluded and isolated, really, like putting on your headphones in a café and ignoring the rest of the world. her song is “that i miss you” by vansire !

sana - relaxed night sana’s kind of calm is more somber and lonely, unfortunately because of her past, and it’s the kind of lonely that’s very yearning and longing. her song is “sex & sadness” by madi sipes & the painted blue !

mina - end of june mina is a quiet individual, and not because she wants to be, unfortunately, her vibe is very yearning that's almost accepted loneliness, but still craves companionship. her song is "i saw you in a dream" by the japanese house !

tzuyu - weary eyes tzuyu can come off as a little heavy handed, but deep down she's very soft and loving, and ultimately just wants the people she loves to be happy. her song is "pancakes for dinner" by lizzy mcalpine !

nayeon - return home nayeon, as a devil, is pretty angsty obviously, and can shut herself away from the world a lot of the time. she's very closed off and doesn't like opening up to other people, and her vibe is very noisy, to shut out the world. her song is "real love song" by nothing but thieves !

chaeyoung - coming of age chaeyoung is chill incarnate, and really just likes vibing. think standing out of the sun roof on a road trip and letting the wind hit your body. very coming of age vibes. her song is "heavy, california" by jungle !

jihyo - faerie circles jihyo's vibe is a lot quieter, more contemplative, like you're in the forest just walking and you see something magical happen, and you keep it to yourself for the rest of your life. her song is "in a week" by hozier and karen cowley !

[penzerker]

Thoughts from the ether: a Testimony

Thinking about how much I missed this site. As a 90's kid in the Pacific Northwest, I grew up through different waves of technology. I can still feel the fresh action on the L/R bumpers of my first Super Nintendo controller. I can smell the plastic of a fresh videogame or the hot reels of a recently rewound VHS.

AOL Messenger and T-9 texting would change my life in complex and likely generationally toxic ways. The comforting and yet isolating reality that was moderating an internet forum for people who believed in tales of Bigfoot, werewolves, vampires, and other cryptids when I was (maybe) 13 -- the feeling of that reality anyways-- still clings around my ribcage on days when I feel the internet has gone completely mad. I have seen such terrors here.

I am a witness- as an author, writer, and rogue scholar with an unused cultural anthropology degree -- My analysis is that the internet has been a leap that only gunpowder, Nuclear Power, and the undeniable fascination our species has with the holy trinity of Love, sex, and food can possibly compare too. Technology, by full definition, is so much more than the discovery of a new thing. It is the rituals around how we use them. How these "Objects" of ours (be that object a focus on a thought or way of thinking, a belief, or a new method for chipping arrowheads) define our lives.

I have witnessed global warming go ignored by the world's governments for my whole life. I was traumatized by the "end" of the aids crisis and survived doing all I could to pray away the "sin" of being queer (oh what shame, being so far from a god that I have no reason to believe in)// I digress, or refrain, or surrender this emotional moment to you... Anger makes me ramble, and I am tired. // The point was that ideas as "objects" directly impact our actions and paint our internal worlds. The thinking around our technology shapes everything we do, and in that way [returning to the main topic] I think the internet is "too good" at spreading ideas.

Conspiracies are real, and that sad fact has made false ones bloom here like aggressive algae. People hurt each other here faster than most in our species could ever have dreamed to do with words in ages past. We are connected now in more ways than any past philosopher could possibly have had a nightmare of let alone a forbidden dream.

In short, I think our reckless leaping into the deep end of this new technology has wrought reckless side effects too numerous to list here.

For one, the concept of time is now entirely f@cked.

A layer of reality has been peeled back. We are all the peelers and the peeled. It hurts, I think, but in some good ways. We all seem to find our joy, I guess

I will admit, there has been much good in it too. This technology gave many of us a safe refuge from the world outside that by any proper assessment is eating us, or trying it's best to. (Capitalism is a monster of an "Object" we can dive into some other time.

I guess, if I was asked to describe the internet in the future, I would say it is some kinder form of Rumor(Fama) - a strange goddess from ancient times, captured best by Ovid in book 12 of The Metamorphoses:

{{There is a place at the centre of the World, between the zones of earth, sea, and sky, at the boundary of the three worlds. From here, whatever exists is seen, however far away, and every voice reaches listening ears. Rumour lives there, choosing a house for herself on a high mountain summit, adding innumerable entrances, a thousand openings, and no doors to bar the threshold. It is open night and day: and is all of sounding bronze. All rustles with noise, echoes voices, and repeats what is heard. There is no peace within: no silence anywhere. Yet there is no clamour, only the subdued murmur of voices, like the waves of the sea, if you hear them far off, or like the sound of distant thunder when Jupiter makes the dark clouds rumble.

Crowds fill the hallways: a fickle populace comes and goes, and, mingling truth randomly with fiction, a thousand rumours wander, and confused words circulate. Of these, some fill idle ears with chatter, others carry tales, and the author adds something new to what is heard. Here is Credulity: here is rash Error, empty Delight, and alarming Fear, sudden Sedition, and Murmurings of doubtful origin. Rumour herself sees everything that happens in the heavens, throughout the ocean, and on land, and inquires about everything on earth.}}

I am a storyteller, that I can not hide. But I hope I can leave you with some hope that I think there is still enough good in us (collectively) I... think I have seen it at least. But I am spending less time on here - the internet- and I think we all need to unplug more.

Some of us need to shake the impulse to reach over to our phone in the dead of night. Speaking mostly for myself, surely.

Anyway, I have to go now.

My hope is that I have passed you by in these halls in the house of Fama, and passed along some Truth and that you find my truths joyful.

[yanderes-galore]

Yandere jill valentine in general. Sorry for the confusion!

Okay! Mostly involves Resident Evil 1 but since it's general I will be pulling what I can. I hope I got her character correct, let me know how you like it! Focusing more on Resident Evil Jill than DBD Jill.

Yandere! Jill Valentine Concept

(Resident Evil)

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior, Overprotective behavior, Obsessive behavior, Mentioned manipulation, Mentioned isolation, Mentioned thoughts of murder, Violence, Unhealthy anxiety.

- It took some time to find what her personality is but this is what was found.

- Jill's cheerful, determined, intelligent, brave, loyal, and has a good sense of justice.

- She also expresses concern towards her partners, being rather caring.

- From these traits she can be given a Yandere behavior.

- Jill's Yandere behavior is Overprotective and Obsessive for the most part. Manipulative also fits her traits. (like most Yanderes I write)

- She just wants to keep you safe in a world full of infectious viruses and danger.

- "Stay by me or at least keep a weapon handy. You need to keep yourself safe...."

- Perhaps you both operate in her S.T.A.R.S squad with Chris and the others.

- First becoming close with her in that infamous mansion filled with traps and secrets....

- Anxiety and fear eating away at the both of you, especially when Chris and Wesker disappear.

- Death fills these hallways, creatures that seem impossible to exist wandering through.

- Yet here you both are, repelling them with weapons you find along the way.

- It's understandable that she gets concerned for your well-being.

- Fearing you'll be either infected or something worse.

- "Don't leave my side for too long. That or stay with someone when I'm not here at least, alright?"

- She's not really a possessive Yandere.

- Just one that cares for you a little too much due to anxiety and personal feelings.

- Fearing that if she steps away too long you'll be mauled like all the rest.

- You should stick together... it'll keep you both at ease.

- Any sort of injury you end up with is quickly patched by Jill, too.

- Medical Spray and bandages being applied with quick precision to prevent discomfort.

- Just so you both can keep going no matter what situation you're in.

- "Be careful, I'll patch you up. Any other symptoms or injuries?"

- This also shows Jill can be obsessive.

- Often thinking about your safety to the point it captures most of her thoughts.

- She finds out she fell for you during your journey through the mansion.

- So, as someone who adores you, she does what she can to keep you in the best condition.

- Protecting you all because she cares for you.

- You take up most of her mind now.

- Even becoming what she thinks about through everything.

- It leads her to become rather obsessive about you even if she doesn't mean it.

- But, whatever keeps you alive and well is worth it in the end.

- "You hold a special place in my heart... am I really being too concerned?"

- Manipulative behavior is a result of worrying about you.

- Trying to keep you away from danger becomes her top priority, meaning she'll say and do what she can to keep you out of it.

- Until she gets rid of all the threats in the area... you shouldn't be so carefree.

- Jill trusts others around you to protect you.

- Yet she has standards on who can be around you.

- For example, Jill is comforted when Chris is tasked with watching you.

- Wesker on the other hand, or someone else she feels she can't trust... they go nowhere near you.

- Overall, Jill Valentine is a Yandere who wants to guard you and your safety.

- She'll do whatever she sees fit to keep you safe.

- Even if it means murder or isolation to keep you away from danger.

- She does it because she loves you, even if you don't feel what she's doing is healthy for her or you.

[rainieclown]

DEADLY OBSESSION

michael myers x reader - chapter one: new neighbours

you've been in the haddonfield memorial hospital for what felt like forever with ptsd from a robbery gone wrong when a new patient gets thrown in next to you. he's quiet, perfect company if it weren't for the high security around him.

tags: medication, hospital settings, this is before michael gets out of the hospital, orphan! reader btw, it's spoken about more in detail in the fic, michael being a mute for a while, he does speak in this tho, smut, first times, michael being inexperienced, creampie, biting/marking, big dick michael energy, hymen ripping btw

warnings: ptsd themes, therapy, mentions of murder and depression, eventual smut, loss of virginity, mild blood, slight breeding kink on michael's end

a quick note!

if anything related to the ptsd the reader experiences is incorrect/wrong please let me know so i can correct it and learn! i am researching this so i can to write it with the accuracy it deserves<3

three sharp knocks wake you from your nightmare, you sigh at the sight of the ceiling of your hospital room. bland, the room is so incredibly bland. "y/n, medication time!" the nurse that takes main care for you chirps happily through the door, and you let out a wheeze as you sit up and pull on a shirt. "coming." you say, voice monotone and small. opening the door, you see the nurse with a tray, but what does capture your eye is the guards standing by a door nearby. "miss burnham, what's going on there?" you quirk a brow, taking your sertraline from miss burnham as well as the glass of water. "oh it's just a new patient, don't worry." the nurse brushes your question off with a kind smile as she takes the now empty glass back. "come on, breakfast then art therapy!" she beams, gesturing for you to follow her. you glance at the door again, before leaving with miss burnham.

breakfast is bland too, no sugar in the porridge, no fruit, no juice. it's so distastefully bland that you want to push it away but you don't want to get told off for not eating by mrs finch who was the more strict nurse that worked on supervision in the more social places, most of the time anyway. miss burnham sits across from you, reading over your schedule from her clipboard. "so, after art therapy is your free period, what do you want to do then?" she asks, looking up at you. "can we watch a movie with the others?" you ask softly, and miss burnham's eyes brighten. "you want to socialise today?" she beams and you sigh, taking a sip of water. "sure." you say softly, glancing around the cafeteria. "that's amazing, that will make outstanding progress!" she smiles, resting her cold hand on yours but pulls away when you flinch. "sorry, i forget." she says softly, but you sigh. "it's alright." you say, spotting a scruffy teen who looked to be the same age as you being directed to an empty table.

miss burnham hums and turns to see what you're looking at. "oh, that's mr myers, he's your new neighbour." she says when she turns back to you. "he looks interesting." you say, observing the cuffs on his wrist. myers plops down at the table, ignoring the bowl they put in front of him. "hmm, stay away from him. he seems to be under high security." miss burnham says, turning back to look at myers. the boy's eyes flicker to yours and your breath hitches, a sense of mild panic rising in your throat. "if you're done, we can go to the yellow room to do some painting with doctor piers." burnham says softly, pulling your attention back to her. "sure.." you mumble, and follow her out the door, past myers who watches you the whole way.

doctor piers is a happy man who greets you loudly. you don't like his suffocating energy, so miss burnham sits you down in your quiet corner and gives you your sketchbook. you sit quietly and draw things from your childhood, things that make you happy, all while miss burnham actually colours in a colouring page with the pencils you use. you felt peaceful with her by your side, she was like your big sister considering she was close to your age. "ooh, i like him." miss burnham smiles, tapping her nail next to the rough sketch of snufkin from the moomins. "thanks..." you reply quietly, letting the nurse push the pencils to you so you can colour him in.

for once, you don't feel alone... don't feel isolated with your thoughts and bad memories. miss burnham is your safe place, your new family. "so, y/n. are you interested in anyone in particular that you want to befriend?" miss burnham asks, the scratching of her pencil on paper stopping as she leans forward as if the two of you were gossiping about crushes. "not really... just think it's good to try and ease myself back into being around people other than you." you shrug, putting the green pencil down to pick up a yellow one. "that's still good. do you want to try and finish the drawing of him." she asks, flipping the page carefully to the recreation of that fateful night. your breath hitches as you stare at the charcoal drawing of the man standing over your mother. "what else do you remember, if there's anything else?" burnham asks, watching you carefully.

it comes back in waves, it was supposed to be a robbery, your family was in the wrong place at the wrong time, the blood spatter, the ornament that was used as a weapon dripping with the red substance. tears fill your eyes as you let out a shuddery breath. "no." you say firmly, wanting to push the book away. "are you sure, you haven't drawn any facial features for him.. it will help the investigation a lot." your nurse reminds you, and your hand tightens on the pencil. "i don't want to!" you snap, getting up abruptly, chair screeching back. "okay, okay. deep breaths." burnham stands too, fighting the urge to gently rub your arm soothingly. "i don't want to think about it." you hiss, storming off. nurse burnham calls after you, and doctor piers looks up to see you making a run for it. "y/n, wait!" he tries, but you swerve him and run out the door.

nurse burnham can't keep up in her high heels, and you outrun her easily, making your way to your room after losing her. you're alone again, and you catch sight of myers, sat in his room just as alone as you are. the guard is talking to doctor loomis, a man who gives you the creeps. seeing an opportunity to get past, you slip into your room quickly, once again isolating yourself. in his own room, michael had spotted you through the glass on his door, and he walks up, peering into your room as best he can. "hey! back up, myers." the guard bangs his door, now without loomis's presence, but michael doesn't move. he's unfazed by the guard's aggressive nature. the noise spooked you, you looked like a deer in headlights as you stare back at him.

you seem... disturbed by something, and that upsets michael. the feeling in his chest, to grab you and hide you from the world grows at the look in your eye. michael's hand finds the door, and he yoinks it open once the guard unlocked it in an attempt to push him back into his cell. "hey! what're you-?" he cuts the guard off, knocking the man out easily. his body hits the floor as michael opens your door easily. you gasp, back hitting the corner of your wall as you tried to make yourself as small as possible. "please, don't hurt me! i didn't do anything!" you yell, and michael shakes his head as he closes your door. "leave me alone." you repeat the three words like a prayer, voice quieter as your hands grip your hair with stress. "i'm not going to hurt you." michael rasps painfully, shocked at how deep his voice had gotten in comparison to the last time he spoke.

his words don't seem to get through to you, and he grows mildly annoyed. eventually, michael sits next to you and pulls you into a tight hug, hoping it would help as he had no idea what to do. you yelp in surprise, breathing slowing with confusion as you look up at the brunette with furrowed brows. "i-.. what..?" you stumble for words, but michael doesn't say anything, his empty eyes observing you. "thank you..." you mumble, once you calm down, and michael nods. "what's your name..?" you ask quietly, and michael continues to stare before answering.

"michael." he rasps, pointing at himself. "nice to meet you, michael. i'm y/n." you reply, eyes averting from his anxiously. michael sits with you as you start thinking. more intrusive thoughts break in, and you can't help the small whimper that escapes you as you rub your forehead. michael tilts his head, observing you. "sorry... it's just..." you sigh trying to find an explanation that didn't include what you thought of. "do you ever get intrusive thoughts?" you ask, finally looking at michael. the other teen nods, and you deflate with relief, he'd understand you. "they suck, don't they?" you chuckle half-heartedly, and michael shrugs. "oh, do they not bother you as much?"

he doesn't reply, and you nod slightly. "want me to show you around? i need to take my mind of things." you suggest, getting up and looking at the boy on your floor. michael seems to think for a moment before nodding and following you. you step over the guard carefully, and gesture for michael to follow you. the click-clacking of heels makes you grab the other teen's hand as you pull him around a corner. "shh! they'll be looking for me." you can't help but smile at the make-shift game of cat and mouse. it's been a while since you got to play games. michael blinks at you, letting you lead him around. "this is the rec room, it's the best room here. if you have a free period this is the best place to go. they let you watch anything they have." you smile, creaking the door open carefully.

doctor addison spots you and rushes over. "nurse burnham is looking for you." he whisper yells and you nod. "i'm showing the new guy around so shh!" you say, putting a finger up to your mouth. "it's good to see you getting out of your comfort zone. if i see her i'll tell her you're helping doctor loomis." he winks, and you smile slightly. "thanks addison." you say, pulling michael away from the room. "who's that?" michael's deep voice makes you jump. "oh, doctor addison? he's so cool, he'll give you snacks for after hours." you smile up at him, and michael notes the personality of the doctor. easy target to begin with. "you've seen the cafeteria so let's go to the gardens next." you say, peering around a corner carefully before ducking back, your back bumping into michael's chest. "my nurse is coming, quick, we can hide in here!" you whisper yell, pulling michael into doctor addison's office.

you close the door carefully, and michael observes the room. the decor is very vintage yet comfy, it suits the doctor quite well. you press your ear to the door carefully, listening as miss burnham speaks to doctor addison. you gasp as michael pulls you from the door, hand grasping your wrist. "are you alright?" you ask carefully, looking up at the brunette who didn't seem bothered. he shrugs, simply holding you near to him. your presence stirred something in him, and he didn't know if he should kill you or hold you closer. michael spots a candle stick, and his eyes dart from it to you.

michael lets out a silent breath as he decides on the latter, tugging you into his chest. your breath hitches as you hit his large frame, and your eyes come back to him. craning his head down, michael buries his face into the crook of your neck. you make a small noise, unsure of what to do as he takes in your scent. "uh... michael?" you furrow your brows, hands raised awkwardly as you didn't know where to put them. "shh." he hushes you, hands finding your hips. "what are you-?" your question is cut off by his lips grazing your neck, and it all clicks into place.

your body froze up, michael made a silent note of this. "i- uh.." you stammer as he continues to kiss your neck. "fuck, michael. we shouldn't do this." you say softly, glancing to the door. michael hushes you as his teeth nip your skin, he was testing the waters with you. your knees felt weak as your eyes fluttered shut. it had been so long since you had got to do anything like this, since you got to feel like a teenager. your hand find's michael's fluffy hair as you move his head closer to you.

taking the small success, michael sinks his teeth into your neck fully. the feelings in his chest explode as he finally marks you, suckling the dark bruise onto your skin. you whimper at the feeling, your other hand resting on his chest. eventually, his lips move again, and they find your jaw. you hum, letting him press closer to you as his lips kiss up your your own. when your lips meet, michael's inexperience really shows, he doesn't really know what to do so you take the lead.

eventually, his lips copy your movement as his hands tighten on your hips. you hum into his mouth, fingers gently stroking his scalp as you tilt your head to deepen the kiss. it felt right, and you didn't know why. eventually, when michael pulls away, you gaze into his eyes and notice the scar over his right one. "oh, what happened?" you ask, fingertips gently grazing over the scar on his eyes. upon closer look, his iris was paler than the other, and you guessed his vision was poor from the one eye. you're not able to get a closer look as michael kisses you again. you hands cup his face as you melt into him, lips moving against his fluently. michael moves with you, and you gasp as your lower back hits the desk in the room. the other teen's strong hands lift you and plop you down so you're sitting on the hard wood of the table.

your arms wrap around michael's neck to kiss him again, and he's happy that you're slowly beginning to show interest in him. you make a small noise as michael pulls your legs around his waist, standing between them with his pelvis pressing against yours. teasingly, you shuffle your hips against him as you kiss him again. michael growls softly, grinding into you as he grasps your thighs roughly to stop your movements. "i've never done this before." you admit, keeping him close as he hums. "me neither." he shrugs, kissing you again. you feel eased by michael's lack of experience, it felt like the two of you were experimenting together and that comforts you.

eventually, michael's fingers find the waistband of your pants and you whimper as he tugs them down easily. "no underwear?" he chuckles softly, and your cheeks heat up. "some of us don't have that luxury." you mumble, averting his gaze. "it's fine." he shrugs, fingers brushing over your slit. you gasp at the feeling of him spreading you open, and can't help but move your hips against his digits. his middle finger teases your wet hole, and you whine when he collects some of it to bring into his mouth. you feel slightly embarrassed as he suckles your pleasure off his finger with no shame before moving his hand back down to rub his fingers over your slit again.

your smaller hand finds his, and you guide his fingers to your clit with a small moan. catching your meaning, michael's rough fingers start rubbing small circles over your bud. you gasp, back arching into him as his fingertips stimulate you. "fuck, michael!" you whimper, hands grasping his shirt to pull him closer. he hums at your words, moving so his thumb abused your clit whilst his fingers slowly pushed your hole open. you whine as his fingers press into you, your hymen stretching uncomfortably. "michael, please- i need you." you whimper, letting him lay you back on the desk. removing his hand from you, he pulls down his own pants, erection springing free.

you freeze slightly at his size, unsure if he'll fit. michael notes your uneasiness as rubs your outer thighs softly. you smile nervously as his tip rubs against your cunt, your hands grasping his anxiously as he slowly pushes into you. you wail as his cock rips your hymen, and michael smiles as your blood slowly smears his cock. "it hurts!" you whimper, grabbing his arms tightly with discomfort. michael shushes you, and gives you small kisses until you stop whining. once you've settled around the intrusion and your pussy adjusts to his dick, you give him the nod to say that you're ready. michael slowly pushes in so that he's fully sheathed before pulling out half way. you whimper at the feeling, pleasure slowly overtaking the dull pain you still felt.

eventually, michael finds a medium pace in you, smiling as his cock bobs through the skin of your stomach. you whimper, holding michael's arms even tighter as he fucks into you. "oh fuck..!" you yelp as his tip protrudes from your abdomen. "sh." he replies quickly as your back arches off the table. "fuck, michael- oh!" you press your hand over your mouth to muffle your moans as he speeds up. eventually, his hand moves and starts rubbing fast circles on your clit. you gasp and keen loudly behind your palm as your thighs tremble around his hips. michael grips the flesh of your outer thighs tightly as he adjusts your legs towards you at an awkward angle. despite the weird position, you moan loudly as his cock pushes deeper into you, his tip kissing your womb.

michael hums at the feeling as his hand gets tired of stimulating you, so as a substitute, he brings his hand down onto your swollen bud harshly. you wail at the sting of his slap, pleasure rolling through your body. taking that as a good sign, michael waits before slapping your clit again harder. unexpectedly, you cum on his cock as you shudder and tremble under him. your cunt squeezes michael's cock tightly, preventing him from moving. the way your gummy walls grip him as you twitch around him is too much, so michael pushes into your womb so his cum filled you up.

you gasp at the feeling of his hot seed spilling into you, and michael seems to be loving it because when you come down from your high and loosen around him slightly, he's fucking his cum into you. you can't help but let out a small noise with every thrust, whimpering when michael stops, satisfied with how deep his cum had gone. your womb drinks up his seed nicely as you let michael grab your hands to pull you up into a sitting position. slumping against him, you nuzzle into his chest, your eyes becoming droopy with exhaustion. he grins at your sated state, pulling your pants up for you. once he is dressed as well, he picks you up carefully to bring you back to your room to rest.

michael ignores the nurses who try to stop him, marching past them as he carries your sleepy form to his room instead. he didn't know much, but he did know that only armed guards as well as doctor loomis were only allowed in his room for safety reasons and it was his best bet of keeping you with him. carefully opening his door, he closes it behind him with his foot and watches as the nurses stand anxiously peering through the window. he puts you down carefully on his bed, letting you settle as he sits down. his eyes find the nurses, one of them had left, probably to get security or doctor loomis. rolling his eyes, michael moves his attention back to you. you had already dozed off, and michael looks down to your stomach. the idea of you being swollen with his child excites him, a true marking. however, his hatred for children conflicts that, and he feels slightly frustrated.

three sharp knocks on the door can be heard, and michael lazily looks back over. doctor loomis is standing there, and he looks furious, but michael will stand his ground for you.

[dancingaliensfics]

♡My Prison Pen Pal♡

Helmut Zemo x reader

Word count: 1,802

Warnings: swearing, mentions of prison and crimes and slight angst to do with his family

A/N: its finally here! I havent writen a fic in a long time so hopefully you guys like this! I tried to avoid using idioms and things like that but message me if you need anything explained or reworded as I know most people aren't native English speakers

@sorcerersofnyc

♡♡♡

His first letter came during the series finale of your favourite show. A rather inconvenient moment, you thought, so it stayed on the welcome mat until you passed through the hall on your way to bed. Picking it up, you figured you'd skim the first few lines then finish it and write a reply before work. Instead, you found yourself writing and rewriting a reply through the night. Somehow this man had managed to enthrall you with only a letter. Maybe it was the way he wrote as if he was some elegant poet whose sonnets would one day be hailed as classics. How he managed to be open and expressive, exuding a welcoming aura, and yet still seeming mysterious. Or perhaps it was simply fated by the stars that Helmut Zemo would capture your heart.

You waited anxiously for his second letter to arrive. After sending the first, you hadn't cared whether you got a response, the whole thing seemed like a bad idea to you. But your mother was insistent that you needed to meet new people and this way you wouldn't need to worry about awkward face to face conversations. Sending the first letter felt like any other chore you do in the day, done with much effort and resignment but forgotten within minutes. But the second? It felt like the most important thing you'd done in a long time. You'd even bought a first class stamp (not that it makes a difference).

You wanted to know more about this intriguing man. No, supervillain. Charged with international terrorism. Jesus christ what the fuck was wrong with you? Were you really falling in love with a supervillain after one letter? But he didn't seem evil to you. He wrote eloquently, somehow his simple and brief description of his day (he'd started reading a new psychology book, you'd have to send him some recommendations) sounded fascinating in his words.

Over time, you started to notice small things about Helmut. The way he crossed his t's, how he signed his name, but mainly that there was a romanticism to his writing. From the way he described his home, his wife, his son to his recipes for Sokovian dishes with small notes and doodles (your favourite was his shepherd's pie recipe where he helpfully noted his mother's assertion that you should always add more than you think you need). It was becoming clear to you that he wasn't the stoic and vengeful baron you expected but rather a soft, lonely and endearingly weird man who you couldn't imagine plotting to destroy the Avengers. Whilst it was his mystery that first captivated you, it was his sweet and sometimes awkward personality that convinced you to keep writing.

It took a while for Helmut to tell you about his family. You had heard on the news back when he first arrested about his motive, so you were interested to hear his perspective on his crimes. But that wasn't what you got. Instead, he told you about when he and his father used to play football when he was young and how they would play a match every time he visited, with Helmut playing against his father and son, who always wanted to play with grandfather. He told you of the songs his wife used to sing, how her voice was always loud and shaky and after years of singing somewhere over the rainbow she would still forget the lyrics and invent her own. He told you how his son was the best pianist he had ever heard. How he could play the greatest rendition of amazing grace and that he had just learnt the theme from swan lake. That he had been excited to practice it on his grandfathers grand piano the day Ultron attacked.

There was something so human about this man. His love for his family, his loss and grief, his plan to avenge his family, it was all so tragic and yet here he was sending you drawings of the flowers from his garden growing up. You wanted to hug him and yet sometimes you felt he wouldn't need it, wouldn't want it. You were wrong.

Helmut Zemo missed his family. He told you so in one of his most recent letters. He missed holding his son, brushing his wife's hair, going for long drives, waking up at 2am to comfort his son, early morning trips to the shops, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework. Everything he listed seemed so trivial, so meaningless in the grand scheme of life and yet the memories meant so much to him.

You realised then you had never pitied him before. Not that he wasn't deserving of it, just that he didn't seem to need it. But overtime you realised that what Helmut had really needed wasn't revenge or to make a world free from superhumans, it was someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Someone who would understand his pain and not judge it. Perhaps, you thought to yourself, you could be that person.

Fuck.

You couldn't think of how to cope with this. No one you knew had ever mentioned falling in love with a criminal through letters. And as hard as you tried you hadn't been able to find a single romcom with this plot line. You couldn't tell him. You imagined with his seemingly fragile state of mind receiving from basically a stranger professing their love would at best cause him to ghost you. Especially after he confided in you, shared his thoughts and memories.

So instead you continued as normal. You sent him pressed flowers and pictures of your favourite places. Eventually, he asked what looked like, and you spent an hour trying to decide whether you should send a picture of yourself or to just vaguely describe your features. After deciding to send a picture of yourself on holiday a few months before the blip, you found yourself wondering what he'd do with it. Would he throw it away as soon as he got the letter or would he keep it, tuck it away in some book to look at whilst thinking of you?

You also found yourself wondering what he looked like in the real world. You had found pictures of him online, but they didn't feel real. He was never rarely happy. The pictures pre Ultron were clearly taken by paparazzi, so you weren't surprised he rarely looked anything other than annoyed. There were a few though, ones with his wife and son, where he clearly hadn't noticed, and some from when he was much younger and seemed to enjoy the attention. Then were those taken after his arrest.

And so you continued to wonder he looked like. How he looked in the morning, with flowers in his hair or in summer with the sun lighting his face. You wondered what his hair looked like wet, if he ever scrunched his nose in disgust. You wondered what his smile was like.

Over time, you told him more about yourself. The stress of returning home after the blip to no job, no house and your friends 5 years older. Your ex was married with kids and your sister had moved abroad. It was as if you blinked and your whole life had changed. You mentioned how it was your mum who had suggested getting a pen pal, so you could talk to someone new, who was living a different life to you, although she had meant someone in a different country not jail. Since coming back you'd been isolated and stressed with starting a new job, recovering lost information and personal belongings and moving house, so you had thought it might be good to speak to someone who didn't know you, who couldn't judge you. You told Helmut how it had been good, how writing to him had helped you, how he had helped you more than he could ever know.

No, that sounded creepy. How you appreciated his letters.

Too formal. How you hadn't expected to become his friend, but you were glad to be able to say you were.

Helmut was comforting. You knew in your head that your meeting on Friday was nothing to worry about but seeing him say it felt so reassuring. Each one of his letters made you feel relaxed, feel safe. You wanted to make him feel the same. So, as a way to repay his kindness you had told him that no matter what happened, he could always trust you. And it was true. You couldn't imagine a world where you wouldn't do anything for Helmut and although you knew he would never need it, you still wanted him to know you would always care about him, even if no one else did.

Writing to him had become as easy as talking to someone you'd known all your life. You had fallen into an easy routine, you knew when to expect his letters and you knew when you'd send a reply. The routine felt so natural that you even knew what the envelope would look like, always the same off-white with a square edged flap. The address was always the same too. Except on his last letter. Which was strange.

At first, you thought Helmut had been moved to a different prison but after frantically typing the address into Google Maps you realised it was not a prison. Fuck you had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a prison. It also wasn't in Germany.

You sat still, staring at the unopened letter for a few minutes.

You looked up at the door. You thought you heard someone knock. The post had already come and you weren't expecting people. Hell, there wasn't anyone other than your parents who would visit anyway and they would have called first. Now you were sat still, staring at the front door.

"I know you're in there, the lights are on."

It was as if you were a marionette, being moved by some strange force that was slowly pulling you out of your seat and towards the door. You didn't even register that you moved until you felt the door handle on your fingertips. The cold metal caused you to stop, as if broken out of a trance. There was a sudden realisation that if you opened the door your life would never be the same. It was sickening, a mixture of dread and excitement; it reminded you of the moment before a roller coaster drops. You repeated that thought in your head. "Your life would never be the same". Your life hadn't been the same in almost a year. What would be the harm in one more big change. So you did it. You opened the door.

His smile was beautiful.

[romanticerawitch4]

ooh I have feelings on Shiv at school. like we don't know much except for how she used sex to cope even then, but I feel her position was so precarious. she hasn't learned how to be an ice queen yet and she's needy for friends (just look at inviting herself to Wila's cast party) as well as wanting to be one of the boys and say ridiculous things that Gil takes her to ask for. she'd get by on her richest girl reputation for a while and have some friends, but she'd be seen as a weird freak by the end of it (my AFAB experience at least lol)

I have so many feelings on young Shiv! In my mind she was constantly toeing the line between hyper femininity and one of the boys type persona. Like she’d wear a pretty dress to please her mother and then get it covered in mud from a fight which would please her father. I don’t think she’s ever fully been comfortable with her identity which I feel like the show highlights through her fashion choices in that half the times she’s trying to emulate her brothers and the male business world fashion and the other half of the time she’s trying to capture what she thinks a woman should wear (ex the matronly dress she wears in all the bells say) So I think this internal struggle was most present in her youth and can see it manifesting in her acting out a lot at home and it having little impact on her world which would only lead to more frustration and anger.

I think she would feel pretty lost and desperate as a kid. She doesn’t have many (if any) friends as an adult because she can’t get close to other people in any way that matters, I think she would have acquaintances that she got mostly because she was Siobhan Roy and would do just enough with them to keep them in her circle. Like I can see her bridesmaids being random people from college she was roommates with and did wine nights with and never had any deeper relationship than that. Her friendships would all be safe choices that wouldn’t challenge her or business connections she could use later. Neither of which would be very exciting or fulfilling for her which would lead to acting out to try to get the friends she actually wanted (and most likely making a fool of herself in the process).

I can definitely see her saying some things that her classmates would find…concerning to say the least, which is just the Roy curse. And I can see her being very aggressive especially as a pre-teen and teen and trying to play up her toughness to fit into the boys world, she would 100% be like an all my friends are guys because they’re less drama girl and then be bitterly upset that no girls want to be friends with her. Even with that though I do think as a teen she would have been a high achiever (trying to compete with Ken) and would be put on a pedestal by her peers like she’d be class president without ever talking to any of the other students. Overall the only Roy kid who I think wouldn’t have been bitterly lonely and isolated from their peers would be Roman while Shiv and Kendall would have struggled in their separate ways to try to make people like them in ways that weren’t pity (Kendall) or superficial (shiv)

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

A FMC x Lavinia hurt/comfort fic, where Lavinia comforts FMC or the other way around. I feel really lonely currently.. I'm going through a tough time and I kind of crave some comfort :/ Thank you and sorry for bothering you. Take care :3

Written by @blue-is-the-coolest-color

It felt good to be in the camper again. Between fluffy blankets and surrounded by random books Lavinia has picked up from libraries or bookstores that have interested her. It’s a strange collection, fairy tales and fiction, a few vegetarian cookbooks scattered about the small kitchen area, a few books about animals or fauna. A collection to capture Lavinia’s curiosities of this world.

Speak of the devil. Annisa had to move her arm quickly as the taller woman shifted next to her until she managed to snuggle up close against her, wrapping her arms around Annisa and placing her head on her chest. Annisa rolled her eyes affectionately as she put down the book she had been flipping through in favor of running her hands through Lavinia’s hair.

“You’re very affectionate tonight,” Annisa pointed out, though she really couldn’t blame Lavinia for a bit of clinginess. It had been weeks since they had been able to have a moment alone, but she could tell the ordeal with Rapunzel had caused something short of frustration to play on Lavinia. The girl was distant since she arrived at the camper, deep in thought at moments with her brows furrowed together and lips tight. Annisa had played it off as exhaustion after everything, but now she was a bit more worried as she felt Lavinia cuddle as close as possible.

“Thinking.”

“Ever articulate.”

Annisa teased as she started rubbing circles into Lavinia’s shoulder blades. Soothing the tension that stuck there and causing a soft sound very reminiscent of a purr to leave Lavinia’s lips. The two stayed like that for a moment before Lavinia gently pushed away until she was on her elbows hovering closely. Annisa could see the confusion and frustration in the other woman’s eyes as she waited patiently to see if Lavinia would deflect or if she would say what had been haunting her for the last hour and a half.

“Ranpuzel has killed innocent witches. Simply for being witches, and she wanted to kill me regardless of what it would do to the people of my kingdom. She even threatened the witchling, and yet-” Lavinia’s eyes narrowed slightly in a brief glare as if the reasoning of it pissed her off, “and your friends are really going to let all that go? Even though she’s proud of those she’s slain.”

Annisa listened patiently, not commenting as she felt Lavinia’s arms tense and relaxed with the statements, as if Lavinia was trying to keep from letting the anger consume her more than it has.

“We are not unalike.”

Lavinia admitted reluctantly, as if the statement was acid in her throat.

“We both grew up in less than ideal situations, used or thrown away, isolated, forced to struggle for years. We crawled out of it in different ways, killed people, did horrible things in the name of our own selfish justice or reasoned it in whatever way. We both-”

Lavinia trailed off hard and Annisa had to fight the urge to brush the long silver hair out of her face as it slipped from her shoulders. There’s a pain in Lavinia’s voice, on that Annisa hadn’t heard too often from the other girl before.

“Gothel,” Lavinia tried to articulate what she wanted to say, but it’s choked and Annisa feels her heart break at the sound.

“Lavinia,” Annisa pushed herself up a bit as Lavinia hastily rubbed at her eyes and tried to go back to how she was laying.

“Forget it, it’s nothing.”

“It’s not,” Annisa argued as she let her hands move to Lavinia’s face, trying to get the woman to look at her, “it’s hurting you, so it’s not nothing.”

Lavinia looked away, a bit of shame crossing her face.

“I was once a student of Gothel. There was a time, back when I was young, that I wanted to be strong and feared like her. Because then maybe I could hold on to the things that mattered to me, then maybe-” Lavinia’s eyes darkened and she tried to turn her head as to no look into Annisa’s eyes, but Annisa still saw the tears the threatened to spill over, “I was orphaned when I was very young, I couldn’t use magic, I was alone. Gothel had this power and I wanted her to teach me. She didn’t at first, but decided I was amusing and worth playing with. She’d send me on these ridiculous errands and I’d do an insane amount of magical research to try and convince her I was worth her time.

Then my magic appeared, my ice alignment made itself known and suddenly I was the only student Mother Gothel wanted to teach. She taught me spells she wouldn’t utter to the other witches in her coven. It felt like she had taken me under her wing. I would have done anything for her.”

Annisa listened quietly, horrified by the raw pain that had claimed Lavinia’s throat. She had known Rapunzel was a victim of Gothel, but hearing that Lavinia had also been a target caused her heart to ache for the woman in her arms.

“She told me about how she planned to kill the ice king and needed my help. I was important to this mission and she needed me to follow her orders to the T. I was so excited to help her, to make a real difference and to take down the Tyrant who abused his power and caused the mass slaughter of so many magical beings in the ice kingdom. The king liked to set up his own witch hunts where he’d release a witch he had captured into his private woods to hunt down and kill. Our plan was for me to get captured and to wait for Gothel who would come and stage a breakout. During the panic she would kill the king while I distracted all his guards with a permafrost spell I had read about in a book.

So I did my part, I let the king catch me and I lived in the dungeon underneath the castle. I waited for Gothel to appear. I waited weeks, starving in a dark wet cell. I was so hungry, I hadn’t felt hunger that strong since arriving at the orphanage. Eventually it was my turn to be hunted, and when they let me into those woods I decided I would kill the king myself. So I used an old spell Gothel had me test a while ago and I slaughtered almost all of the king’s men in the forest. And then I killed him and sat on the throne covered in blood and announced that the king had fallen.”

“Gothel had left, abandoned me there, then had the nerve to show up two weeks after my coronation and demand I give her magic in exchange for teaching me. We fought and I threw up the magical barrier around my kingdom using one of her spells for spite.”

“I guess that explains how you don’t age.” Annisa interrupted and then almost hit herself for such a sudden outburst, but Lavinia nodded.

“I don’t age because it’s the same spell Gothel uses to steal magic, only my people can refuse to give me their magic, they offer up their magic to keep the barriers around the kingdom, so I guess in a way I’m not giving them much of a choice.”

Lavinia sighed, balancing herself on one arm for a moment to run a hand through her hair.

“I let all my pain get the better of me, and I hurt more people because I was too afraid of losing my newfound power. I wanted to keep everything out, because that’s how everything could stay safe,” Lavinia shook her head, “I sound like a maniac.”

“Lavinia, it doesn’t matter what you did before, all that matters to me is that you’re trying to do better now,” Annisa flashed the other girl a soft smile, “what Gothel did to you was horrible, and you shouldn’t have had to suffer to feel like you weren’t alone.”

“But I always am, somehow.”

It’s so quiet and heartbreaking to hear Lavinia’s voice like this. Annisa’s smile dropped as she tried to process the hurt, pain, and anger flashing through Lavinia’s icy eyes.

“To have a chance like Rapunzel has been given. To actually be allowed to keep writing my story without having to hurt you more to do so. I’d have to bend over backwards to be given a quarter the chance at redemption that she’s been allowed after everything. Why? Because her story deemed her a hero despite her murders and crimes?”

Maybe weeks ago Annisa would have said something to defend Rapunzel, defend why she should be given chance after chance where Lavinia shouldn’t. Lavinia dropped her head back to her shoulder in frustration.

“...You’re mad because they won’t give you that chance,” Annisa commented as she wrapped her arms around Lavinia’s shoulders, keeping her in place when she felt her start to shift, “I didn’t think you cared so much about what they thought about you.”

“I don’t,” Lavinia grumbled into her shoulder, “but I know it would be easier for you if they trusted me to keep you safe at least. Then maybe you wouldn’t have to sneak around to see me.”

Annisa held the woman tighter, placing a firm kiss to her head as she felt her relax into her arms.

“They’re not all against you. Arin wants to give you a chance, and I could convince Oliver to as well. And you have me.”

“As long as I have you.”

Of course the melting queen would sneak in some sweet nothings while they layed there, Annisa couldn’t say she was surprised by the familiar affection in Lavinia’s voice.

“So you're using me as a pillow here all night? I’m supposed to be home.”

Lavinia smirked, wrapping her arms tighter.

“Stay, please?”

“Oh my,” Annisa pretended to swoon, batting her eyelashes, “did her majesty just say please? To little old me. What a blessing that has bestowed upon my unworthy ears!”

“Brat,” Lavinia laughed, a beautiful light sound that Annisa would kill to hear, “you’re not allowed to leave now, punishment for mouthing off to a queen.”

“You love when I mouth off to you.”

“Maybe.”

The smirk caused Annisa to blush, suggesting a far dirtier joke that Lavinia had opted out of saying.

“I wish I could stay here,” Annisa sighed as she looked up at the ceiling of the cabin, the little snowflake fairy lights making her smile, sinking her fingers into unbelievable soft silver hair as she felt Lavinia tilt to head, eyelashes brushing against Annisa’s neck in soft butterfly kisses, “I love being this close to you.”

Lavinia hummed her agreement as Annisa’s fingers scratched at her scalp and wandered through her hair.

“It’s certainly a treat, watching the Ice Queen melt just for me.”

“You’re the only person worth melting for.”

Annisa hated how her mind immediately flashed to a certain snowman character from a Disney movie. She couldn’t control the way the giggles shook her form. Lavinia propped herself up on her arm, trying to look bored but the soft look in her eyes betrayed her horribly as she watched Annisa laugh at a joke she didn’t understand.

“Remind me that I need you to watch a movie with me.”

Lavinia hummed and let her fingertips trace patterns into Annisa’s arm before bringing her hand up to her lips, pressing a soft kiss that caused Annisa to blush.

“Do you really have to leave now?”

“I guess I can spare five minutes.”

Five turned to an hour, but it wasn’t like Annisa was complaining.

[bakugohoex]

If I may, could I request something with the reader being Erwin's little sibling, and Levi (who's also like an older sibling to them) has to tell them what happened in Shiganshina. Just some platonic angst...

“l…levi this is some sort of joke, it has to be”

pairing: platonic!levi ackerman x platonic!female reader

cw: platonic!, mentions of death, mentions of blood, angst and language

word count: 2600+

a/n: i could’ve made it more angsty i think idk i’m not really that good at angst tbh

summary: in which you find out your adopted older brother died in shiganshina by levi, who offers you support and comfort in your crying need  

↞ back to attack on titan masterlist

The arrival of the scouts was supposed to be a joyous occasion, it was supposed to be of happiness of regaining Wall Maria. The laughter’s and cheers as Hanji spoke of the re-capture to the crowd as they passed by. Their numbers had dwindled, that was the first thing you noticed through the window in Trost. It looked like there was only a small number of individuals left and your brother had not been one of them.

Growing up in the underground you had met with Erwin’s father when you tried to steal his wallet. It hadn’t worked but he took pity of the small frail child, the way dirt covered your face, and your dull eyes gave him nothing. You remembered him grabbing your frail body and keeping you on his hip, you were only five or six, but he kept a hold of you. That’s when you left, left the horrors of murder and theft from underground and had a home. Erwin’s father had been sweet and more so his son who was only a couple years older had taken you in as his own sister.

It had been a tough life in the underground but even worse the horrors that occurred up above were much more than you had ever expected. The theories of what was beyond the walls and the death of Erwin’s father had struck to both of you. Whilst the boy you called home joined the Survey Corps you were left at home, to run around and live a normal life. You know what he had wanted, Erwin wanted you to be safe and not fight, he knew you had the ability, but the threat of your death was something he never wanted to consider.

The wind blew through your hair and you could smell the freshly baked bread through the wind. You tried to find Erwin among the crowd, wanting to congratulate him on the success but his lack of presence gave you an uneasy feeling. The repetition through your head that he was somewhere else, he’d gone into Wall Sheena, that he was telling others of the success. Your palm pressed firmly against the window as you looked out eagerly was mess with the tap across the door.

Instantly turning you let out a come in watching as Levi’s figure fell through the door. He was still in his survey corps gear and you smiled at him but the way he looked, the even more emotionless look he had made your stomach flip. “I can’t believe we re-gained maria.”

He looked down not meeting your eyes, he was hesitant to speak, to tell you what had occurred. But the look that you gave him, of hope and happiness how could he break it. How could he tell you your brother was dead.

“Y/n, sit down.” He exclaimed softly, he was trying to be nice, trying to be calmer but he knew once he told you, you’d isolate yourself and sob till your hearts content.

You raised an eyebrow in confusion, following his order as you sat at the chair around the round table. Levi sat across, dropping his gear onto the floor, it was unusual as he was much more careful, but you assumed it was out of excitement. “What’s up? I haven’t seen Erwin yet, where is h…”

“Y/n.” Levi interrupted; he finally met your gaze grabbing your fingers.

You remember the first day Erwin had told you about Levi, Levi the boy who was around the same age as you, he always had the same the glum look. The first time you encountered him was when he had joined the survey corps, you had come to see Erwin and met the boy, he gave the same look that he did too others but he growed to see you as a sister. He was always happy to see you bring little goodies you’d made, always waiting for the days you’d run around the city with him, taking him too new places you’d found out about. He loved you, the grew up without anybody and Kenny having been a deadbeat wasn’t somebody he’d call family. But with you and Erwin he felt at home and now he had to tell you the truth.

“Yes Levi.” You gleamed out; you were happy for humanity you’d regained something you’d never had expected to regain in your own years.

His grip between your fingers tightened, “Erwin, he…he went on the front line with a lot of good men, he risked it all for the chance to get to the basement and re-gain wall maria. Without him Y/n, I don’t think we’d have won this, he had told me how much he loved you, how glad he was to have a sister like you.” Tears had pricked your eyes you knew what was coming but didn’t want to admit it, “I’m sorry Y/n, he died an honourable death for the good of humanity.”

A loud sob escaped your lips, your lips trembled as your face seethed with the salty tears. “L…levi this is some sort of joke, it had to be.” You refused to admit he was dead, refused to grief you were resistant and angry. “He’s not dead, he’s a…alive.” You chocked on your words unable to feel anything. Your whole world had broken, everything you ever had gone, it had felt all like a dream. It was all over now with the true reality of being alone setting in.

You stood up anger filling you through the tears, “he’s alive.” Trying to repeat the sentence into existence was unachievable. You remember your last words to him you better not come back with another arm missing and how he chuckled before passing you a letter in case of something bad happened. You remember discarding the letter in your drawers, he would always come back. He would come back to his sister, he’d be alive and happy, even take you to wall maria himself.

The mirror on the side of the room in an instant got kicked by you leg, the way it fell and shattered under your foot. Sobs engulphed the room, you collapsed to the ground, the shards across your knees. He’s be here, he promised he’d come back, he promised. Levi’s body shifted towards you the three simple words coming from his mouth, “Y/n, I’m sorry.”

His arms around your body as he knelt beside you, moving the shards away as your body fell onto his own. Your eyes blurred with tears and a sadness washed over you, you crumbled into Levi’s rougher body against your weak form. He had seen you fight men ten times the size of you but here you were trembling in his arms. You had broken, you had lost your family and you couldn’t even say a proper goodbye to him. He had died without you there, you hadn’t seen what happened, you didn’t know if there had bene hope for him. You had lost him.

Levi stayed beside you for a while, a tight grip around your body. Hanji had tried to come in but at the sight of you had instructed herself to remove the shards away from your teary-eyed self. She knew you’d talk to her when you could and that being in Levi’s arms, you’d be safe for the time being and not make any rash decisions.

“Y/n…” Levi spoke just as Hanji left to get you some new clothes having blood from where your body had been scathed by the shards.

You didn’t speak but he was aware that you could hear him, “Erwin would want you to fight in his name, to fight for hum…”

“Levi shut up, fuck humanity, he died saving our worthless lives. You think and talk so much about humanity but what has humanity done to us, fucking nothing. He didn’t need to die…he could’ve lived and been here with me, we could’ve been a family. He was supposed to see me have my own family and he was supposed to be there for me. He shouldn’t have died, you said he died an honourable death. He didn’t, he…he died without saying goodbye.” The sobs through each word and tears that flooded your face made Levi realise the true extent of how you were feeling.

Erwin had been your family, closer than family even. He had looked after you when his father had been killed. Protected you even stopped you from joining the Scouts yourself but here you were, the truth evident. You knew your words were lies, Erwin would gladly have rested his life for humanity, but he did it without saying goodbye to you. He did it without letting you have your final moments with him, you were cynical and all you wanted was to be left alone. “Leave Levi.”

“Y/n I…” Interrupting Levi again you stood up at his kneeling body.

“Leave Levi, I wont say it again.” You had the same superiority as your brother had, the same clear attitude and even through the dull bland face you wore. He knew you needed space and time, you watched him leave before letting more sobs come from your eyes.

Moving to the drawers, the letter had been pushed into the drawers filled with papers. You didn’t want to read it, but it was his last letter in this world. It was his last words and you wanted to read it, feel what he had wanted you to feel. Sitting on the bed, you broke the red seal and opened the letter seeing his handwriting through the paper you took a sharp breath as you started to read it.

Dear Y/n,

I assume you’re reading this because I have passed, I don’t know what will come of you afterwards, but I hope you remain the same girl I met all those years ago. I remember my father having telling me about the underground and seeing your ashy face you had always been a lot to take in. But I’m glad, I’m glad you were brought into my family, that you became my little sister who could rely on me.

One of the days in the first week of you staying with us, my father had told me to take you to get some food. You had been unaware of how easy it was to get food and how you didn’t have to ration it out amongst others. You had asked so many questions about the big walls that you had thoughts were as high as castles that you’d been told about in the storybooks my father had been showing you. You were always like that, asking too many questions and learning quickly afterwards, your first day at school you had told me afterwards how you had been ahead of your class. Your face had bene filled with joy and happiness. I’m saying all of this to make you remember how far you’ve come. How you’re a fighter who has a long future ahead, you shouldn’t stay in the city, you should find your own path where you can do everything you have wanted to do since we were younger.

I have three things to tell you, and I hope you keep to these three things. Don’t grieve over me, you were always strong, stronger then most the people in the survey corps so go out there and be happy, go out there and accomplish everything you’ve wanted to do. Go fight for humanity, and I know how you feel about that, I remember your words from last night, how I shouldn’t risk it all for humanity. But I have to save us, I have to get us out of the walls, we’re caged animals who need something more. I hope you begin to realise how important it is to fight for humanity and risk it to survive the titans and past the walls.

Secondly, don’t cry over a dead man. We both knew this day would come and I know how much you’d been putting off even talking to me about this all. But I want you to know that whatever happens you shouldn’t cry. You have ignored me to many times in the years I’ve known you and for once I want you to listen to me because you’re too strong and a fighter to cry over me. I don’t want you to spend weeks alone crying I want you to remember me and take me with you but not feel guilty that you weren’t there to save me. I know what’s going to happen and I want you as my little sister to feel that what I did was honourable because at the heart of me saving humanity was me saving you.

Lastly, I love you, you were always my family and always will be. I want you to move on, have your own family or even just remain with Levi as your family. I just need you to not isolate yourself and think that because I’m gone there’s nothing else for you in this world. Because there is Y/n, you’re important to so many people and I want you to know that I will always call you my home.

Your brother,

E. Smith

Reading out the last line, you felt your tears stop falling a deep sunken breath erupt as you finally felt a lot calmer. He wanted you to be happy, to not be isolated and to not cry and you’d done everything he’d wished again. Your brain was going wild with your thoughts, you knew what you wanted to do. What you had to do and how you needed to see Levi and Hanji as soon as you could.

You ran out of the room passing those who had fought alongside Erwin as you ignored them before you spotted Levi. “Y/n.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

Levi’s face was still dull, but he put his hand to your shoulder making you feel at home. “It’s understandable…you read the letter then.” Levi remembered Erwin having mentioned a letter and here it was still grasped onto by your nimble fingers.

“I did and that’s how I know what I need to do, Erwin he died saving humanity, and I understand that, but I have nothing now except you, I…I want to join the scouts, I did the same cadet training but never joined a faction due to Erwin, I need to do this, in his name, let me…let me join.” You hadn’t met his gaze knowing tears would fall if you did. It was a hefty ask but you had had the training, you remembered it all and you wanted to fight in Erwin’s honour.

Levi signed having expected something like this from you, “Y/n…”

“If that’s truly what you believe is what Erwin would want you to do then you can join.” The voice came from behind you, Hanji stood there as both of you faced her. As the new commander of the scouts she knew Erwin might be angry at this occurring, but you were strong and had the background.

“I want to do this, Erwin spoke so highly of humanity and me, I understand now that there’s more than this world and I want to help, like you said Levi i’m doing this in his name.” It was true you had gone against Erwin’s words many years ago but reading the letter it was the right thing to do you had nobody and joining would give you a cause for being alive. For sticking with Levi, you might have lost Erwin, but you certainly weren’t loosing Levi as well. You’d protect both of you until the very end just as Erwin did, you’d risk your life for the sake of the human race.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

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[hiccanna-tidbits]

this is a genuine, curious question! what's appealing 2 u about jackunzel :^] ??

Sure, I can talk about why I ship Jackunzel!!!

@gryffindorkxdraws has some posts about why she likes Jackunzel here, here, and here, so those are a pretty good rundown of reasons to supplement mine. But I’ll make a list of my own!

Why Jackunzel Owns My Entire Soul: An Essay in Disorganized Bullet Points ~I dig the sun/moon symbolism! Like Jack was chosen by the moon and Rapunzel has the powers of the sun. It’s such a nice contrast, and it also lends itself really well to star-crossed lover-type fantasy/fairy tale AUs (which I am ALWAYS a sucker for!) ~From what little we know about Jack’s preference in girls (i.e. the slight crush he seemed to have on Tooth), Rapunzel seems like EXACTLY his type--bubbly, energetic, optimistic girls with a bit of a maternal streak. I think even the RotG director confirmed Punz is the kind of girl Jack would like! ~Jack also absolutely seems like Punzel’s type--if Flynn/Eugene is anything to go by, she’s kind of into sarcastic troublemakers with a hidden soft side XD And she also seems to like guys who are good with kids, if Eugene reading “The Adventures of Flynnigan Rider” to the younger kids at the orphanage is anything to go by! ~They both seem to be naturally pretty social people who suffered a lot from being isolated for a really long time--Jack had it worse, obviously (300 years--OUCH), but it was rough on Punz as well, growing up for 18 years with no one for company but Mother Gothel and Pascal. Jack, spending all that time with no one able to see him and only the guardians (who weren’t even really his friends from much of that time) for company, would understand that pain a lot. I feel like they’d be able to connect on a really deep and intimate level about the pain they felt at being isolated for so long, and this would give them a really strong bond that I can easily see turning into something romantic. ~They’re both just such genuinely lively and fun-loving people, and I can imagine them having a ton of fun together and just genuinely really enjoying spending time together. Like imagine the snowball fights!!! The ice-skating!!! The sledding!!! Chasing each other through the forest!!! Jack grabbing onto Punz and her wrapping her hair around a tree and swinging them around Tarzan-style!!! Like literally the entire scene where Punzel leaves her tower for the first time and is goofing off and doing Silly Shit for like an hour straight??? Like man...if Jack was there, they’d have the TIME OF THEIR LIVES together. Idk I just really love couples who I think would have a lot of fun together, it’s so pure <3 ~They’re both so loving!!! Like Rapunzel goes out of her way to be supportive to an entire tavernful of terrifying “ruffians and thugs” because they have dreams, and she’s so sweet to Flynn/Eugene no matter how many times he snarks at her and tries to alienate her!!! And Jack loves loves LOVES entertaining kids, and it genuinely makes him so happy to give them snow days :3 I just feel like they’d shower each other with love, and it’s honestly no less than they both deserve!!! ~Rapunzel especially is such an affectionate person, and I can see her doing just absolutely everything in her power to make Jack feel as seen and as loved as possible after 300 years of being alone. And god, does he NEED it, too. Like no way is this boy NOT touch-starved, and with some MAJOR self-esteem issues (although he’s good at hiding them). Rapunzel would do absolutely everything in her power to build him up and make him feel wanted and validated--and since it’s in her nature to do so, it would never feel like a burden or an effort for her. And she’d love him so much that hyping him up just comes naturally! She’s just got the kind of nurturing personality that someone as affection-starved as Jack really needs, and I think she could help him feel safe, comfortable, and loved in a way a lot of people couldn’t. ~For all the fun they’d have together, I also feel like Jack needs someone to ground him a bit and provide the Brain Cell to perhaps reign in that Unchecked Chaotic Energy of his sometimes XD Rapunzel certainly has a smart and rational side--I mean, she charted STARS as a teenager!!! She figured out how to get this stranger she captured to take her into the kingdom to see the lanterns!!! Girl can be spontaneous and goofy, sure, but she’s got smarts and kind of a mature streak that I think mesh with Jack really well. He’d never feel like she was a wet blanket stifling his fun, but she’d also have a sense of when to transition away from goofing off and focus on responsibilities (princess and guardian responsibilities in this case, I suppose?) ~On the flipside, I don’t see Rapunzel as being someone annoyed or irritated by Jack’s antics. She might like...gently scold him if he takes a prank too far, but she never finds his shenanigans to be grating and tiresome the way other people might. Rather, I think she’d be endlessly entertained by him. Like in his memory reel when he’s dicking around pretending to be a deer, she’d get a kick out of that! Jack would always be trying to make her laugh and make her smile, and Punz would love that so much about him! ~They’re both searching for a deeper meaning and a deeper sense of purpose in their lives. Rapunzel entertains herself with hobbies, but doesn’t feel like her life has really “begun” and is desperate to find out if her hunch is right and the floating lights really ARE meant for her. Jack has no idea why he was chosen by the moon or what he’s meant to do, and he’s determined to find out so he can finally have a sense of purpose. Rapunzel clearly wants a sense of purpose too, since she wants to do more with her life than pass the time with hobbies. I can definitely see them bonding over this! ~They’re both just so adventurous, and love to explore! Rapunzel is curious, and loves to read and learn, and she wants more than anything else to see the world and all it has to offer. Jack loves adventuring and flying around the globe spreading winter and fun, and he could show Punz everything she ever wanted to see. A perfect match, honestly! ~Aesthetically I LOVE the similarities!!! Like they both like to go barefoot, kinda showing their free-spirited natures. And I love how they’re both naturally brunette, but had their hair turned a different color by magic. It’s a little thing, but I think it’s a really neat parallel and it helps cement me thinking they really ARE perfect for each other in every little way! Haha XD AND they both have small green companions, and as of Ralph Breaks The Internet, they’re hoodie buddies as well!!! Not that surface-level parallels like that are actually that significant BUT I just think they’re neat XD ~While I am fond of Flynnzel/Eugenzel (still my favorite canon Disney couple!), finding out their age gap is around 8 years admittedly made me a bit uncomfy and just pushed me further into loving Jackunzel as an alternative option. I still really love Eugene as a character and adore his and Punzel’s dynamic, but these days I prefer their relationship as more of a big bro/little sis type thing. Jack I think is the best match for Rapunzel romantically, and Eugene I prefer with Elsa--or poooossibly Tooth, Astrid, or Zarina, if I read a fic that sells the pairing well enough! ~On a related note, I was into Jack x Tooth the first time I watched RotG, but after discovering Jackunzel, there was no going back--I was hooked! Rewatching the movie, Tooth strikes me more as a mom figure/”fun aunt” for Jack, and I actually prefer her with Bunnymund (I am WEAK for “the grumpy one is soft for the sunshine one” lmao)

Well, I think that just about covers it!!! I’ll add more reasons if I think of them! Thank you for the ask, and I’m always happy to answer more ship asks about CGI crossover pairings :3

Also @ the anon who asked for Jackunzel headcanons--fear not, I shall provide them!!! I just wanna make a complete list and accumulate all the ones from my various fics so it’s gonna take a while XD

[paper-n-ashes]

sparks and embers - chapter 13

Characters: Kylo Ren x Original Female Character, Poe Dameron x Original Female Character

Story Tags: Explicit (18+), Canon Compliant/Divergent (Set after TLJ), First Person POV, Love Triangle, Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Porn with Plot, Hurt/Comfort, Kylo Ren hates Poe Dameron

Chapter 13 - Exposure

Words: 5.5k

Chapter Tags/Warnings: Descriptions medical procedures

Read on AO3 or Start from the beginning

~

“Alex! You’re okay!”

“So are you!” I burst, eyes already wet with tears of relief. My gaze darted over the holoprojection of Poe’s face, his brilliant smile beaming through from lightyears away.

“You have no idea how glad I am to see you,” he grinned, leaning closer into the holo. “We’ve been trying to make this contact for weeks.”

A dazzling joy surged in my chest, so happy that my assumptions of being forgotten were baseless. “Did you complete your mission?”

“You’re talking to the best pilot in the galaxy here.” He shot me a charming wink, maintaining his smile. “Actually made it back a few days ahead of schedule.”

Tears continued to dribble out, attempting to calm myself with a shaky exhale. “I’ve been so worried.”

Poe’s expression turned earnest. “I was going to say the same thing.” His expression fell, looking down. “I didn’t want to leave you there. I’m… I’m so sorry Alex. We’re all sorry.”

“It’s alright,” I soothed. “It was the right thing to do at the time. Did you all safely make it back to the base?”

“Left just in time to avoid their tracking systems. So your sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.”

“Indeed it wasn’t,” a woman’s voice agreed, her instantly recognisable image appearing in front of me moments later.

Leia Organa.

“I’m so glad to finally put a face to the person who saved my best fighters.”

I was awestruck at the sight of the entrancing older woman, with kind yet determined eyes looking right at me. “Well… uh… They were the ones who protected me against the Death troopers. I really didn’t do anything.”

She shook her head, smiling warmly. “We all know what you did, what you’ve endured because of your selflessness.”

“What I’ve endured?”

“We have recently gained a Resistance spy within the First Order, the one who directed you to this holoprojector,” Poe started explaining. “They’ve been keeping an eye on you. Sending us intel about your condition.”

I thought of the blonde, curled hair I glimpsed a few minutes ago, not recalling ever seeing it before. Whoever it was had obviously done his reconnaissance at a distance. “The cell stay wasn’t exactly easy,” I conceded, looking sincerely to Poe. “But I’m managing better now.”

A glaring lie.

“One thing they couldn’t tell us Alex,” Leia started, her expression now troubled. “Is why exactly they’re keeping you on the Finalizer. Our spy hasn’t been able to collect any information about the subject. To me, it seems a little... bizarre you’re being forced to work for them.”

I was stuck on how to begin to formulate an answer when a commotion from behind the two figures made them turn around.

“I heard you finally made contact!” Rey’s voice excitedly cheered from somewhere in the room, her image quickly arriving into view, displaying an enthusiastic grin as she huddled in next to Leia. “Alex! I’m so glad to see you!”

I returned a warming smile, her sunny disposition difficult not to mirror.

“Oh thank the maker,” Finn heaved, sliding alongside Rey, the four figures now pressed closely into the outline of the holo, Poe seeming faintly annoyed at the intrusion. “If I had to live through one more day of Poe ranting about this stealth signal not getting through, I was gonna go insane.”

Poe was already looking to me when I glanced at his face, an unspoken understanding exchanging between us. “Well now since apparently we’re all here,” he huffed, “Can we actually get back to the issue at hand? We’ve only got a limited amount of time before this signal becomes compromised, and the hard-lock on Alex’s comm-room door overrides.”

Leia nodded in agreement and looked at me again. “Do you know why they’re holding you there Alex?”

I was weighted with a heavy dose of terror in giving my answer, my stare shooting immediately to Rey. Her smile had faded, instead she wore an expression of reassurance.

She hadn’t told them.

“I… I… uh…” I stammered, a flurry of emotions spinning in my brain. I was so sure she would have exposed me.

“It’s okay Alex,” Rey insisted, her tone calming. “I know why you’re scared. I completely understand why you kept it a secret. But we won’t harm you because of it. I promise.”

All eyes darted to Rey, each face breaking into confusion.

Poe was the only one to say what they were all thinking. “What are you talking about?”

I felt my chest begin to tighten, oxygen becoming a little harder to grasp onto. “I’m not ready,” I whispered.

Rey’s appearance was comforting, yet serious. “It’s time. You may not be ready, but sometimes we don’t get the choice.”

I inhaled deeply, scrunching my lids closed, trying to build some sort of confidence to reject the instincts and rules I had been abiding by all these years. A lifetime of keeping my gift undisclosed, hiding it away, never getting too close to anyone, had left me more attached to my secret than anything else in the galaxy. Fear had always kept it’s hold, guiding my actions, and it was pulling at me again now, trying to warn me of the danger once more. But if I didn’t tell them, Rey would be forced to.

And above anything else, I wanted Poe to hear it from me.

“I can… use the Force,” I said slowly, most likely out loud for the first time in my life. “I taught myself… how to heal others with it, when they were close to death.” There was an excruciating silence as Poe, Leia and Finn comprehended my answer, each wearing a different expression of realisation. My stare was only focused on Poe, trying to properly gauge his reaction to my admittance of lying. “I didn’t want anyone to find out, so I’d also learnt how to hide it - to prevent other force-sensitive people from feeling my energy, from hearing my thoughts.”

“Why?” Leia asked gently. “Why were you so afraid?”

“My parents were distrustful of those who were attuned to the Force after living through a time where Darth Vader wreaked havoc on the galaxy. They told me old stories of little children being taken away from their families to be trained as Jedi, only to have all of them massacred, even the younglings. They made it seem like the most dangerous thing in the world was being someone with that gift. So even as a child, when I felt the power growing within, I pushed it down, hid it away. I didn’t want to fight in any wars, and I didn’t want to be killed. I just… wanted a normal life.”

Both Rey and Leia were nodding with me as I spoke, seeming to understand my decision.

“That’s why you were on Raxus. So isolated,” Poe murmured, not looking at me.

“Yes. I kept it a secret for as long as I could, all through my training, only using this power sporadically through the years. But I was too close to being caught whilst working in a medical camp on the Inner Rim, during a skirmish the First Order instigated on a planet because of their resources. A Stormtrooper noticed me healing one of the planet’s inhabitants, one whom he was sure he’d rendered on the brink of death. He wanted to take me to his leader, claiming he would have good use for someone with my abilities. I managed to escape him and ran, giving up my job, my home, all without telling anyone where I was going. I settled on Raxus, built my clinic, rarely having to use my power, never really worrying about being caught again. Until... Poe crashed on my doorstep.”

“And you had to use it then, didn’t you?” Rey assumed, obviously a question she had been waiting to ask. I nodded.

Finn’s eyes sparkled. “I knew it! I knew there was a reason he healed so quickly.”

The death stare Rey shot to him was severe in intensity, and under any other circumstance I would have thought it was funny. But my focus was centred completely on Poe’s expression as he remained engrossed in deliberation, his eyes still not reaching back to me.

“Is this why they’re keeping you held on the Finalizer? They wish to utilize your power to heal?” Leia guessed.

“They don’t know about it.”

Each of their expressions turned to disbelief.

“How? Surely Kylo Ren would have rummaged through your mind the minute you got on that ship,” Finn burst, turning to Rey. “That’s what he did to you right?” She nodded in agreement, still looking to me for my answer.

“I was able to keep him out, like I did to you Rey,” I replied.

Rey seemed impressed, and a realisation clicked behind her eyes. “That’s why he won’t let you leave. He hasn’t figured out why."

I became uneasy, suddenly worrying about the blame I’d been placing on her. “He thinks it’s because of you, that you’ve somehow placed a block around my mind. And I... didn’t exactly correct him.”

Rey let a sly smile form on her lips. “Well that would be a valuable thing to make use of, if only it were true.”

Finn appeared dubious. “I still don’t understand why you agreed to work for them.”

“I didn’t really have a choice,” I subtly scowled. “It was that or rot in a cell until Kylo Ren managed to infiltrate my thoughts, learning of my sensitivity to the Force, leaving me in a lot worse situation.”

Finn appeared understanding of that answer. It had been Rey’s own powers that made the man obsessed with capturing her. Leia, who had seemed more troubled while we conversed of the Supreme Leader, finally spoke up again. “How long do you think you can hold yourself against… him?”

“I don’t know.” My heart thumped with anxiety, reminded of his last attempt to penetrate my barrier. Thinking about it, with Poe’s image right in front of me, made a familiar sickness bubble in my stomach. He still refused to meet my gaze, his face pained, making an ache begin to surge in my chest.

“Well we have to make some kind of plan right? To rescue her before that happens? Poe?” Finn insisted, somehow rustling Poe out from his inner turmoil.

“Right. Sure. Of course,” he agreed, only the slightest glance in my direction. I had to clench my teeth to hold back the tears wanting to form in my eyes, his indifferent response causing a wave of guilt to wash through.

Leia could sense the tense energy exchanging between us, even through the holo. “Finn, Rey, let’s start discussing our next move. Away from the holoprojector.” She looked firmly at the two, an unspoken communication. Rey shot me a look of both support and sympathy, understanding exactly why Leia was leading them away.

“Hang in there,” Finn added before standing to leave. “We’ll get you out real soon.”

I tried my best to reply with a grateful smile, but it was hard to form through the nervousness I felt at being alone with Poe after my revelation.

One by one their figures receded from the flickering blue picture, leaving Poe alone once again. I couldn’t bring myself to speak first, unsure of what to say. He felt further away than ever, his touch a memory that continued to fade.

Time was running out, the seconds ticking away as we both waited in stillness for the other to break the strained silence. When his eyes finally drifted to me again, I was wounded by the hurt in them, still acutely obvious in the artificial image.

“Why couldn’t you tell me?” he whispered. “You had all that time.”

I dipped my head, conceding. “I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” he shot with unrestrained exasperation. “Scared that I would continue to be grateful for you saving my life?”

I looked back up, stunned by his angered tone. “I didn’t want anyone to find out, let alone someone who had ties with the Resistance.”

“What did you think I would do, what the Resistance would make you do?”

“Pull me into a war I didn’t want to fight! Lead me into a life I didn’t want to lead!”

I could see his jaw tighten, an attempt in calming himself. “The fact you assume I’m the type of person that would force you into anything, let alone war, even after everything I told you, is insulting.”

“That’s so unfair,” I retaliated, my bottom lip on the edge of trembling. “I didn’t even know who you were when I decided to heal you. I chose to risk everything to keep you alive. Doesn’t that mean anything?”

Poe exhaled hard, the sound crackling in the holo. “I will always be in your debt for what you did. But you still lied to me Alex. To my face. You assumed the worst of me, of all of us. You hid the truth because you thought we would take advantage of your power, not caring about what you wanted, what you could choose.”

“You haven’t lived my life Poe,” I argued, a ferocity beginning to rise. “You haven’t lived with the same fear I have all your life.”

He stared at me through the staticky blue light, silence once again taking over. We were locked in each other’s eyes, even through all the distance separating us.

“You pushed me away because of it, didn’t you?” he asked, the sting of his tone now gone.

I didn’t have to respond for him to know my answer. Suddenly there was a loud click of the door behind me, the hard-lock releasing.

Our time was up.

“I’m sorry,” I implored, only a moment before Poe’s face was snatched from my view, the holoprojector powering down into darkness.

My throat felt tight, a new kind of shame gripping tightly. I’d always been so afraid of sharing my secret, but not for this reason. Not because it would make me a liar in the eyes of the one I longed to be reunited with so badly.

*

I stayed in the darkened comm-room long after the hard-lock was disengaged. No one came to open it. Even if they had, they would have only found my figure sitting against one of the large data configurators, stuck in a motionless trance.

I wasn’t entirely sure what kept me from crying, because there was certainly a hollow sadness sitting on my chest, yet the emotion never seemed to manifest into anything. It was possibly due to the stark realisation that my power, my use of the Force, wasn’t a secret anymore.

And nothing bad happened.

They hadn’t been afraid, judgemental, desperate to use it for their own benefit. They had wanted nothing. Rey even kept it to herself, waiting for me to expose the circumstance in my own time, supporting the decision I’d made long ago to hold the power deep within.

Alongside the sadness, there was an intense shame thumping with my heartbeat. Poe had been right, once again highlighting my selfish and distrustful nature, even to those who didn’t deserve it. He’d always been unconditionally honest, and I had given him lies in return. He was right to be offended, to feel slighted by my deceit, our whole encounter now coloured with my dishonesty.

The only comforting part of the holoprojector discussion, apart from knowing for sure Poe with how we parted, was there was a plan being formed for my rescue. There was still a chance I might make it off this ship, escaping before Kylo Ren saw through my weakening façade. He had gotten closer than ever before in the preceding morning, and it couldn’t be long until he figured out another way to tug at my emotions hard enough to unravel me completely.

My only hope was that it wasn’t my attraction to him, the way he undeniably ignited the fire inside that he continued to toy with in his endeavour to push past the veil over my mind.

*

When I slipped back through the doors of the Prestige ward I was bombarded with questions from Risha and the other staff concerning the incidents of the night, most of them somewhat impressed with my boldness. While the others thought nothing of my return, assuming that for once justice had prevailed and I’d been seen to act in self-defence, Risha was obviously astonished I wasn’t still sitting in my cell. She followed me to the isolation room, where my intubated patient still lay in critical condition, but fortunately alive.

“How did you manage to convince them to let you out?” she questioned. “I thought I’d be visiting you in that cell.”

I read over the observations, the patient’s vitals seemingly stable during my absence.

I would need to thank Irwin later.

“I didn’t have to convince them of anything. My retaliation was considered appropriate by the Supreme Leader, so he allowed my release.”

Risha physically recoiled in disbelief. “There are like, 20 things wrong with what you just said.”

“It was a surprise to me too,” I agreed, continuing to perform my own assessment of the ill man in front of me.

“Alex, I don’t think you comprehend how unusual it is for the Supreme Leader to involve himself with matters like this.”

“I think we can both agree nothing about my situation is usual.”

“I mean, that’s true.” She folded her arms, still doubtful. “But for him to punish the Colonel instead of you. That’s just…bizarre. Snoke would never have been called to make a decision like that, let alone given any care for your wellbeing.”

I stopped, giving Risha’s answer more than a few seconds of thought. “Maybe he wants to be a different type of leader.”

She snorted. “We all know Snoke was the one who seduced him to the dark side, who turned him into what he is today. You think he would cast away his teachings, suddenly show compassion?”

“You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought,” I murmured.

“Well there’s not a lot else to talk about working on this ship. All we debated in the days after Snoke’s death, and Kylo Ren’s appointment as Supreme Leader, was whether his rule would be the same or significantly worse. No one even had the slightest notion he would be… like this.”

I shrugged, walking back to the progress notes and typing my assessment out. “Maybe he thinks if I owe him one I’ll be less likely to cause anymore issues. Maybe he hopes for me to like it here so I won’t attempt an escape.”

Risha tugged at my arm, making me look to her. “Is that something you were considering?” she whispered.

I didn’t want to give any kind of verbal confirmation to that intention, knowing now the ears always listening into our conversations. I also refused to implicate this sweet person in any of my future plans, knowing it was safer to give an overly dismissive answer. “Of course not. I wouldn’t even know how if I wanted to. I’ll just keep waiting it out. I’m sure they’ll grow bored with me eventually.”

Risha certainly wasn’t convinced, but she didn’t dictate that stance. “So how are you feeling? After… you know.”

“I’m alright,” I reassured, which was a blazing lie. “Better now knowing the Colonel won’t be back on this ward again.”

“Me too,” Risha breathed, showing me a small smile. Mild irritation sizzled knowing what it took to finally have someone to act on a predator like Colonel Wynver, still wishing his punishment would have been more severe. But I had to be appreciative that Risha, and the other women who worked here, could have some comfort due to his hopefully permanent absence from their life.

*

I farewelled Risha after making sure Irwin had given her an adequate handover of the nights new admits, noticing that more beds were now filled with those who had contracted the heavily contagious illness. There was a part of me that worried about the situation I would return to at the start of my shift this evening, but I was too exhausted to fret for too long.

I made sure to pick up a meal from the mess hall before returning to my quarters, horrendously starving from a whole shift without a chance to eat. The shower I had after ravenously devouring my food was just soothing enough to put me in a better state of mind before settling under the bed sheets to sleep, even with the ache beating slowly in the background of my mind at how Poe and I had parted from our transmission.

My only hope was Rey could make him see sense in the way I had kept my power hidden, maybe make him understand how harsh the fear was that drove me to lie.

Sleep arrived effortlessly this time, only minutes passing with my eyes closed before I was pulled into slumber.

*

When I felt my eyes open again, it was obvious I was dreaming, standing on a deserted beach, the horizon a flat line against the evening sky, a lone sun close to sinking past the ocean. It felt peaceful, a melting glow spreading through my body, relishing the sunset scene. But soon I realised I’d never been to a place like this before. I’d never even stepped close to a beach in my short life.

It was then I sensed the presence with me, the strange energy hovering far behind my figure. I went to turn, to face the mystery aura, but I was chained to where I stood, my eyes still viewing the yellowed skyline, the faint sound of small waves lapping against the shore. The energy shifted, my focus trained on its movement as it edged closer, finally taking a position just beyond my right shoulder.

“You’ve been doing spectacularly well,” a familiar voice mused.

I sighed. “I wondered when you were finally going to disturb me again. You’ve been unusually quiet.”

I felt a smile cross the figures lips, although I was unsure exactly what its face would appear as.

“You seem to be managing perfectly fine without my assistance. I didn’t feel the need to intrude.”

“As opposed to back on Raxus, when I couldn’t avoid your constant warnings?” I grumbled, recalling the many interruptions the voice had made concerning my growing attachment to Poe.

The energy moved again, my eyes darting to the space beside me, still unable to turn my head to that direction. I was only able to capture the image of a hooded figure stepping into my periphery, its face almost completely hidden by darkened brown fabric. I could just make out the shape of their lips. Human. And feminine, matching the tone I had heard in my mind for almost my whole life.

“You were making poor decisions,” the hooded woman stated. “Decisions that would bring about damaging consequences.”

“Maybe if I knew the consequences you seem to be so concerned with, I would make the right choices.”

She laughed, a low breathy chuckle that was oddly musical. “That’s not how this works. I can’t interfere with your free will.”

“Can you at least tell me what ‘this’ is? Why you’re inside my head?”

I could see her lips purse, a deliberate silence between us. “It’s not time yet. You’re not ready.”

An unwelcome shiver pulsed, irritation swelling once again. “I would ask what exactly I need to be ready for, but I can assume you won’t tell me that either.”

The woman smiled again, white teeth peeking through her lips on the edge of my vision. “I’m glad you’ve come to that understanding quickly.”

I exhaled hard, growing impatient with the interference of my much-needed sleep. “Is there a reason why you’re here now, deciding to show yourself for the first time?”

“I wanted to ensure you knew you were playing your part well, in the hopes it would encourage you to stay on this path.”

I creased my eyebrows, contemplating how any of my actions in the last few weeks would have been appropriate on this journey I was apparently walking. “And I’m assuming you’ll let me know when I might divert from this destination you’ve got in mind?”

“Indeed,” she nodded, her head lifting in time to watch the sun finally fade completely past the horizon, plunging both of us into darkness. “But I have faith you won’t require my help for the foreseeable future.”

I could only hope such a notion was true, this woman’s voice always having been a horrible strain on my thoughts. But without knowing exactly what I was doing so well, I was unsure if I could keep her intrusions from appearing again. I watched with the woman as stars began to glitter through the sky, reflecting on the stilled ocean, making an even bigger vision of night envelop the landscape. A delicate breeze of wind then brushed against my skin, and she was gone, her energy fading instantly, leaving me alone on the beach once again.

The soothing power of the twinkling scene soon made an overwhelming fatigue encircle my brain, and I was unable to prevent my eyelids from drooping closed.

*

It was obvious I’d been rustling in my sleep when I awoke again hours later, sheets twisted haphazardly over my limbs. I’d finally managed a full 8 hours, feeling the most rested I’d been in days. Although waking to an impossibly long list of questions I couldn’t get answers to didn’t exactly make me feel relaxed.

I laid on my back, wishing I could will the woman’s voice back into existence, only wanting to know why and how she housed her spirit inside my mind. The spoken warnings and guidance had always been there, pestering me with advice, sometimes threatening. But I always assumed it was a form of my own conscience, born from an unknown area of my brain that battled its morals against my decision making. Knowing now it was something more than that, that it was something or someone keeping a close watch over my actions, was oddly comforting.

Maybe I hadn’t been alone all of these years.

*

My last overnight duty before returning to the day shift was chaotic to say the least. Almost all beds of the Prestige ward became filled with viral patients, a large portion of the Finalizer Command leaders now in my company. A dark humour would have mentioned to the Resistance yesterday that this sickness was probably more incapacitating than their assaults had ever been, but I honestly didn’t want to place the idea of biological warfare inside their heads.

While my intubated patient had already improved from my last visit, I was now dealing with three more who’s health was extremely critical. I had never been so appreciative for the medical droids who worked here, their ability to recognise deteriorations in vitals being much quicker than my own.

I’d been given a status report from the rest of the ship earlier in the night, which implied the other wards were in much the same position. Although, it was interesting to note the slowing occurrence between Stormtrooper personnel, their armour and helmets seeming to provide an amount of protection that the Command leaders didn’t utilise.

The Bio-med lab had assured they would have a cure and subsequent vaccine within the next couple of days, pressing us to keep as many patients alive in the meantime. Which was easier said than done. Bacta didn’t help in eradicating the virus or it’s symptoms.

Fortunately for my own health I had already been afflicted with a strain similar during an assignment to Lothal in my training days, the illness sweeping through most of our workers, spread by one of the wounded soldiers. Luckily, none of us had been struck down too harshly, and it had left most of us somewhat immune. In knowing this however, I began to feel a looming dread for the medical staff of this ship who most likely had never been exposed before. It couldn’t be long before they themselves would need to be treated, and I prayed it wouldn’t leave me as the sole doctor still well enough to keep working in the time before a cure was found.

In the morning I handed over the night’s events to the day shift, giving strict instructions for the care of the four intubated patients, offering to return if I was required to at any time. I’d been afforded a full day cycle before returning to normal working hours, a day off of sorts, but with little freedoms being afforded to me on this ship to utilise my free time, I was quite comfortable in being called back to ease the load on the Prestige staff.

No such request had been made by the time I’d taken care of my daily routine, sleeping soundly through another 8 hours, this time without the interruption of vivid dreaming. It was early evening, which was only ever evident by the chronometer in my quarters, and I’d found myself too anxious about how the ward was coping to focus on the literature I was attempting to read.

The unease eventually caused me to change into the mundane set of informal clothes the First Order had allowed, wanting to pay a visit to the ward to ease my worry. A pair of black pants hemmed tight against the outline of my legs and a grey sweater which wrapped around my torso, leaving a bow at the back. I hadn’t pulled my hair up, assuming my visit wouldn’t actually require me to do any work. I wanted to appear as casual as possible, hopefully not implying they would be desperate for my assistance.

I was about to slip around the corner of the small lobby outside my quarters, pondering over the fact I’d never seen anyone enter or exit the two other doors, when I was disrupted by the sight of General Hux making his way down the corridor. He was alone, without his usual entourage of Stormtroopers My eyes narrowed, watching him suspiciously as he closed the space between us, noting the stressed expression he wore, his porcelain cheeks slightly red.

“What have I done this time?” I prodded as he stopped in front of me.

“I’m afraid I’m not in the mood for your juvenile mockery Miss Jago,” he snapped. “Come with me, I have a task you are required for.”

I folded my arms. “This is meant to be my day off.”

“You’ll find that I don’t particularly care,” Hux grumbled. It occurred to me how unwilling he seemed to be here, most likely a stern order behind his reason for being in my presence. “You don’t have a choice in this matter. Now follow me.”

“Could you at least tell me what you’re hauling me away to do?”

He didn’t stop his exit. “You’ll find out soon enough. I’m not going to ask you again. Follow me.”

It was curiosity that made me obey his demand, beginning to step behind the irritating man as he led me to an unspecified objective. When we started veering towards a familiar turbo-lift, noting him pressing the floor I’d memorised from the previous day, my whole body pulsed with anger.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” I seethed, looking to Hux with a burning contempt.

“It was an order,” he replied sharply.

“It always is,” I fumed, leaning into the durasteel wall of the turbo-lift.

What did he want with me now?

Hux stormed ahead when the doors opened, my shorter strides barely able to keep up as we walked through the darkened hallway. With a simple wave of his hand on the security panel the blast doors opened to the room I had previously been forced into, the huge open view of endless space still taking my breath away.

Hux didn’t stop in the lounge area, instead swerving to the door at the far left, pressing a code quickly into the lock, waiting for me to enter first once it opened. I looked at Hux quizzically before moving past, taking a moment to register the scene I’d been made privy to.

My eyes scanned over Kylo Ren’s figure, now hunched into a ball underneath the sheets of his bed, a sheen of sweat noticeable on his forehead even from the doorway. He was asleep, however it didn’t appear even close to restful, his breaths loud and heaving.

“The Supreme Leader appears to be afflicted with the virus,” Hux stated in a hushed tone, still emotionless as ever. “He requires the care of a medical professional until his health returns to normal. I think you can understand the confidential nature of the task I’m giving to you.”

I nodded slowly, still stunned at what I’d walked into. “But why me? Surely there are other doctors who could do this. Ones who aren’t his hostage.”

“That is most definitely true,” Hux agreed. “But he asked for you.”

~

Next Chapter

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[giorno-plays-piano]

Numb

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: yandere, obsession, kidnapping, touch-starved reader, death of minor characters.

Words: 2121.

Summary: As a granddaughter of one of HYDRA's operatives, you are hunted down just like anyone who has something to do with the organization. You know the Soldier is coming for you.

P.S. This was influenced by the dream I saw last night and this precious ask.

________________

Backing away from a tall muscular man with a metal arm shining in the dim light, you gasped, watching him advance on you with a dark expression on his face. You knew him - he was the infamous Bucky Barnes, one of the former Assets of the organization. You had never seen him personally and only learnt about him when he escaped. That day your grandfather, one of HYDRA's operatives, was all blood and thunder as he screamed at the agents on the top of his mighty voice for the loss of one of the most useful assassins of the organization.

After that everything started falling apart. HYDRA was disintegrated after the Avengers started a witch hunt, and most people involved went into hiding. Although your grandfather, one of the leaders of the organization, did everything to protect both you and himself, you knew one day the Soldier would return. A part of you had accepted this a long time ago, knowing you would pay for everything your grandfather did. Of only your parents were still there. Maybe then you wouldn't end up in the arms of HYDRA's vile men and pay for something you had never done or agreed to.

You felt the cold wall behind your back, reaching the end of the room, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the Soldier with Beretta in his hand. Gulping down, you stared in horror at his stony expression, knowing he had no sympathy for whoever was involved with HYDRA. You would die. You would die any moment once he lifted his arm with a gun.

"Could you kiss me?" You whispered as he came closer, your body trembling like a leaf. "I have never kissed in my entire life."

The man tilted his head to the side, watching you biting your lips. He probably thought you went insane, scared to death by his sudden appearance in the safehouse you were held. Had you really gone mad?

"Please, before you shoot me." You asked in despair, tears running down your cheeks. "I want to know how the kiss feels."

You said the truth, you had never been kissed before, never been touched by a man, never loved anyone, and it was the only thing you regretted. What was it like to be kissed? Was it truly as wonderful as all the books and movies promised, making you feel butterflies in your stomach? Was it unpleasant? You'd prefer to do it with someone you loved, but you didn't have much of a choice. You'd be really lucky to get to know this feeling at all before the Soldier murdered you.

As he came so close you could feel his calm breath on your skin, you lowered your gaze, afraid to look him in his cold eyes lacking any emotion. You didn't expect him to lay his metal hand on your shoulder, making you move your head up a bit when he closed that little distance between you, touching your lips with his.

He was gentle. His touch was warm, and you felt how soft his lips were, pressing into yours as he caressed your hair tenderly. It was pleasant. Kissing felt as nice as books claimed. Never doing it before was worth regretting, indeed, if even the world's deadliest assassin's kiss brought you so much pleasure.

You didn't want it to end, but the Soldier partied from you with a soft sigh, and you closed your eyes when his arm moved from your hair to your neck. His touch was turning suffocating, and you whimpered quietly, tears streaming down again. You prayed it to end quickly. You deserved a quick death, you hoped.

As the world turned black, the last thing you heard was the Soldier's calm breathing.

____________

When you opened your eyes, it was so dark you couldn't see the ceiling as you stared into the black mass surrounding you, trying to understand what was happening. Moving your hand to your right, you looked for the light switch of a lamp on your nightstand - you asked for it in every safehouse you had been placed. It was one of the few routine things you had pleasure to have since you went in hiding.

You were always in hiding even before the Avengers learnt about HYDRA's infiltration into S.H.I.E.L.D.

As the light flicked, you stared at the room you had never been before, watching drawers and empty shelves with rising concern. There was a table and a chair to your right, and then you saw a huge metal door as if your were put in a prison cell. It didn't look like a safehouse at all.

You sensed a slight movement to your left, and your head snapped as you saw a man sitting in a chair in the corner of the room. Although the light wasn't reaching him much to let you see him properly, you remembered those long disheveled hair and piercing gaze of cold blue eyes. It was the Soldier.

Suddenly, you remembered as he broke into the last safehouse you were brought to, seemingly killing every agent who was placed there to protect you. You remembered as he kissed you before everything went black.

"If I'm dead, why are you here with me?" You whispered, watching him staring back at you as you crawled back and took a pillow in your arms, pressing it into your belly.

"You aren't dead." The man said quietly as he stood up from the chair, moving slowly to you, hiding behind the pillow as if it were a shield. "You are safe."

You didn't agree. Nowhere was safe for you, especially when you were captured by the ones hunting HYDRA down. Your grandfather made it clear - once you were taken, no one would try saving you. In fact, those who protected you before would turn against you since you'd seen too much to be left alive in the arms of Avengers. You were doomed either way.

Maybe the heroes would be kind enough to let you die quickly without much pain. A bullet in your skull would do.

"When is the Interrogation?" You asked quietly, hugging a pillow to have at least some comfort. You needed someone to snuggle against so badly, but the only one in the room was the assassin sent to murder you at one point or other. If only your parents were here. A friend. Anyone who had been kind to you once.

"There will be no interrogation." He said as he sat down on your bed close to you, his hand near your feet as you shivered, too frightened to look at the man. "No one knows you are here, princess."

You raised your eyes at him, blinking the tears away. Did he say the truth? No interrogation? You suspected you had no vital information the Avengers didn't already know, but you thought you would be tortured as most prisoners like you had been to squeeze every bit of knowledge you had. Yet if no one but the Soldier knew about you being here...

You wept, wiping the tears away with the back of your hand.

"My father used to call me that. 'My princess'." You smiled weakly, clinging to the pillow even more. You needed someone's warmth so bad.

Soldat's bared hand found yours as he caressed it gently, making you let go of your improvised kevlar. His touch was pleasant, and you thought of his kiss back then. You had never thought someone frightening like him could ever be so tender with a woman.

"They'll find me, anyway." Your whisper was barely audible. "They always did."

Was it a ghost of a smile you saw on his face?

"I am better at hiding than them." He brushed away the strands of hair out of your face, but took his arm away when he sensed you getting scared, your body getting tense again. "You will always be safe with me."

The Soldier sounded almost like a lover. That is, you thought a lover would sound like that. He didn't look like all those men you saw in the countless romcoms with heart eyes, but something in him was both unsettling and drawing you to him. Oddly, he wasn't as cold and menacing as before despite the dark glint you saw in his eyes.

You thought how miserable you had become, searching for a little warmth and love from people unable to give it anyone at all. None of the agents sent to you were willing to talk even if your grandfather didn't forbid them. All conversations felt forced, not genuine, and soon you dropped your attempts to get to know any of those people better. But you weren't allowed to leave the house on your own even before the witch hunt. You had no friends, no people who wouldn't be involved with HYDRA one way or another.

It's not safe for you, your grandfather said. Anyone out there could be an enemy of the organization, meaning yours too. Because of that, you had spent many years in pretty much total isolation, living behind the doors of your secured home where no one particularly cared about anything except your physical wellbeing. Well, it could have been much worse, you knew it, but it didn't make your life any easier. You were still a prisoner. Maybe one day your grandfather wanted you to get married to some HYDRA operative to strengthen his own position within the organization, and that's why he bothered to keep you.

Nevertheless, you knew little about the outside world and human relationships. You could only experience it through reading books and watching movies, craving for warmth so desperately you were ready to ask the first person you saw from the outside of the organization to kiss you. Ironically, he belonged to the same kind of people who guarded you all those years. Or so you thought.

"I can't live like that." You whispered, lowering your head and grasping the blanket in your hands. "This isn't life... Having no family, no friends. I'm all alone. I don't even remember the last time I hugged anyone."

"You can hug me."

Raising your eyes, you saw him watching you. The Soldier didn't try coming closer to you, apparently, giving you a choice. Why was he doing that? All of that? Why taking you here and not finishing you off like all others who had something to do with the organization? You had hard time believing the Soldat pitied you.

Yet here you were, brought God knows where, staying in one room with the man who didn't hurt you and even tried giving you some comfort. Maybe he was tricking you, but he had nothing to gain from it.

Whatever. Your life wouldn't end peacefully, anyway.

You reached to him, snuggling against Soldier's body in pathetic attempt to feel anything, throwing your arms around his waist. For a second you thought he would slap your hands away, but instead you felt him caressing your back carefully, his flesh arm touching the top of your head. You still remembered your father doing it when you were awoken by the thunder and trembled in bed. Soldier's body was as warm as his.

Squeezing your eyes shut to stop tears from falling, you hid your face in his chest, finally feeling that warmth you were searching for. As the Soldier craddled you in his arms, you felt... safe? Protected? Slowly, your body was relaxing against his as you exhaled loudly, his fingers buried in your hair.

"I can be your friend." The man said calmly, his eyes dark, but not scary. "If you don't have anyone else, you can have me."

You whimpered, your head almost crushing to his chest as you clinged to him.

"I can give you things you want to have."

"These are not things."

"Whatever you want, princess. You just have to ask." His low, husky voice should have scared you, but listening to the words you had always wanted to hear made you almost hopeful. Was he serious? Did Soldier really want to be the one close to you? You supposed the Avengers wouldn't be too happy to learn about it. Maybe that's why he hid you here.

Was he really taking pity on you?

"Could you kiss me on the forehead, please?" You mumbled and sensed him bowing his head closer as his hair brushed against your face. He then left a kiss on your forehead just as you asked him, and you finally cried, clenching his clothes to bring him even closer to you. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"You will always be safe with me." You heard him whisper above your head.

_____________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@void-hoechlin @abyssaint @heeeyitskay @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherubwrites @iheartsebastianstan

[ghostadventuresstuff]

Jay Wasley x Reader

Y/N

It had taken longer than you would have liked, but you’d finally found your dream apartment in Vegas. After spending the last two years travelling around Europe never staying in a place longer than two weeks it would be nice not living out of a suitcase and finally being able to call a place home. You’d told your work that you’d like to be located more stateside and they agreed because of how much hard work you put into assignments.

You were a paranormal photographer for a paranormal magazine, who travelled to haunted locations around the world, took photos and learnt the history of the location and hauntings which were then put into the articles within the magazine that potential investigators could look at and decide if they wanted to check the place out. It was great being able to put your degree to good use, being a history graduate meant your articles were more accurate and interesting than others. The job also allowed you to pursue your love of photography, not many people got their dream job.

The first couple of weeks in the apartment felt fine, little things happened but you put it down to that fact this was the longest you’d stayed somewhere so your body and mind were adjusting to the change. It was an old building so there was going to be the odd draft and cold spot the heating didn’t quite reach, but Vegas was going through a heatwave and certain areas of your apartment felt like you were walking into a freezer when you should have been sweating. Most people who thought they might be haunted would have been more concerned, but you had enough practice to know how to keep calm. So you go out and buy some cameras which you place around your apartment hoping to catch anything, and if the results came back negative you were overthinking cold spots.

A job in Texas took you out of Vegas for a week, and even though you could monitor the cameras from your tablet, work was a lot to handle so you put your apartment to the back of your mind. However upon returning the atmosphere in the apartment felt wrong from the second you stepped over the threshold, maybe being in a haunted building in Texas had heightened your senses. You walk into your makeshift office and log into the security system and sit back in your desk chair not quite sure what you were going to capture.

‘What the hell?’ you gasp loudly, sitting forward in the chair, staring wide-eyed at the screen.

You were checking out the camera in the hallway and after some rewinding, there was a very clear apparition floating up and down the hallway, however, you couldn’t see any facial features or clothes like most people assumed you could when seeing an apparition. This was only the first camera and the volume wasn’t even turned on. You needed to reach out to an old friend and hope he could help.

JAY

I’d just gotten back from a draining investigation when my phone pings with a message from an old friend. y/n and I went back years, their work actually helped Ghost Adventures choose a few locations to investigate where we got our best activity. We’d met at an event and hit it off, but I hadn’t seen them since they moved to Vegas due to both our jobs getting in the way. I open the message.

Y/N: Hi Jay, I need your help. My new apartment is haunted, I caught this on one of my cameras.

Attached to the message was a video, and when I squinted at the phone screen my eyes widen seeing an apparition floating down a hallway I assumed was in y/n’s apartment. Only y/n would go and get themselves a haunted home.

JAY: I’ll bring over some equipment, send me your address...this is one way to catch up

Y/N: Thanks Jay, I’ll buy you a coffee or two when it’s all over.

y/n also sends me their address and I grab my laptop which had a program I could check out any audio on, along with some equipment I needed to return to Zak but y/n was more important right now. I guess I could sleep once I knew y/n was okay.

TIMESKIP

I buzz y/n’s apartment number and the front door opens, the fact that y/n didn’t greet me or even ask who it was concerned me. I take the lift up to the second floor and quickly find y/n’s apartment which was in the corner of the building. I try the front door and it opens, this really wasn’t a good sign.

‘Err y/n, It’s Jay,’ I call out, entering the apartment.

Vegas was in a heatwave but y/n’s apartment was ice cold.

‘Jay,’ y/n says to my right, making me jump.

I hold my heart, ‘at least wait until I check out your footage before giving me a heart attack.’

y/n smiles and motions for me to follow them, ‘sorry, I’m too engrossed in the footage. There is something on each camera Jay, I think it’s the same apparition as the height matches, one spirit I can handle.’

I shake my head and follow y/n into an office. y/n points at her own computer, ‘feel free to do your thing, Jay. Can I get you a coffee?’

I nod, ‘a coffee would be great.’

y/n leaves the office and I get set up, putting my laptop down on the desk and fire it up so I can access my audio program, ‘y/n, do you know the history of this place?’ I shout.

‘Give me a second Jay,’ y/n shouts back, ‘it’s very interesting.’

I roll my eyes at how calm y/n was being. Then again with what they did for a living y/n had learnt to toughen up. I isolate the audio from the cameras and send it over to my laptop just as y/n returns holding two cups of coffee.

‘This place was built to help with the Influenza pandemic from 1918 to 1919, a lot of people died here. It then was empty for eleven years before being transformed into an asylum that didn’t have the cleanest bill of health when it came to looking after patients. It shut down before opening as an orphanage between 1940 and 1965, a handful of child deaths were reported but a lot of abuse took place here. It was then empty for fifteen years before being transitioned into a retirement home until 1990, no deaths recorded but doctors and residents didn’t feel comfortable being in the building. And then finally after binge empty for twenty-five years, it opened as apartments in 2015, and now you’re up to date Jay.’

I chuckle, ‘there really is no stopping you y/n, you like the details. I’m running the audio from the hallway camera, my program should be able to isolate anything.’

y/n comes to stand next to me and I take the coffee they offer, ‘a place with that much history of disease, death and abuse is bound to trap spirits and probably not the friendliest.’

I had to agree with y/n. Then my program tells me it’s done running analysis and y/n crouches down to be closer to the laptop so I press play and turn the volume up as loud as it would go. There is nothing for a good few minutes, then a raspy male voice comes through muttering y/n’s name before going silent once more. y/n was so engrossed in the recording when most people would freak out at such clear audio evidence. We continue to listen when after a couple of minutes the raspy voice starts muttering ‘die’, before adding y/n’s name into the mix pretty much repeating ‘die y/n’ over and over again.

y/n clicks their tongue, ‘well that’s new Jay.’

I stop the recording and clear my throat, ‘I’m going, to be honest with you y/n, that doesn’t sound friendly, especially telling you to die in your own apartment.’

y/n looks up at me and shakes their head, ‘I’m not going anywhere this place is a dream and the rents are cheap. I have you to help me right Jay? You’ll help me out with this.’

I run my fingers through my hair and sigh loudly, ‘I forgot how stubborn you are y/n. Fine, I’ll help, but I’d like to get the others in on this, that way we can communicate with the spirit better. Do you agree?’

y/n stands up and claps their hands together, ‘yay, call them Jay. Now I’m going to order us some food because I want all this footage checked out.’

Once y/n had their heart set on something there was no changing their mind. Maybe, Zak, Aaron and Billy could convince her that this apartment might not be safe. But for now, it looked like I wasn’t going anywhere, and I felt better being able to keep an eye on y/n in case they did something impulsive that annoyed the spirit unintentionally. The guys made fun of me because I had a small crush on y/n and hadn’t acted on it despite us both being single and cool around one another. Maybe this spirit could bring us closer, maybe I could man up and confess my feelings one day.

[misc-headcanons]

1st Place Prize: Full Fluff Alphabet (Law)

For @dragonprincess18 , 1st place winner of the 1000+ Followers giveaway!

Activities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

If you have an interest in medicine, he'll teach you what he knows (and even if you aren't interested, he may teach you basic first aid just as a precaution while on the seas). He'll also tell them all about his coin collection because his s/o is one of the few people he's comfortable enough around to e the gigantic fucking nerd we all know he is. He's also been meaning to learn how to cook (he's very good at boiling water for coffee or soup, but that's about it), so he'd probably want to learn together with you. I also think he's good at sketching, but doesn't do much aside from anatomical drawings; as he gets closer with you though, he might start drawing you in a more artistic sense in his spare time.

Beauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

The fact that you're with him of all people sometimes astounds him. He intentionally tries to close off his emotions and issues to others and can come across as very cold, so the fact that you love him despite that makes him grateful to have a partner who's so understanding and patient. He hasn't had that kind of warm presence around him since Corazon, and he wishes that you two could have met because of how alike you are in some ways. 

Comfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Law's got the medical knowledge to know how to handle this, plus he's experienced panic attacks before. He'd get you to an isolated spot away from everyone else and softly tell you to breathe with him until you ride through that initial "wave" of anxiety and panic. Once it's passed, he'd get you something to drink and ask if you needed anything.

Dreams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Once his business with his friends (allies) in the Straw Hats is concluded and Kaido is out of the way, he'd want to continue on to find the One Piece. He likes the idea of traveling to Raftel with you, and he'd set up a life for the two of you (as well as his crew) in some distant island for you all to come home to in between your travels across the sea. Honestly a part of him never thought he'd have the chance to live that long (with his history with Doflamingo and constant dangers following him throughout his life), so he doesn't have any specific goals in mind. He just wants to relax for a while with you beside him.

Equal - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

Mainly passive, but he'll sometimes be the dominant one. He thinks he isn't the romantic type, so when it comes to your relationship he's fine with you taking the reins. If you like things like PDA or private names, you'd have to initiate it because he's not likely to do that on his own. He's dominant mainly when he's being protective of you, especially if you're the kind of loyal partner who wants to fight alongside Law--even when he's demanding you run to safety with the rest of the crew, and is repeatedly having to Shamble you out of a fight.

Fight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Law tends to internalize his frustration and anger during an argument and will act very cold at first. As he and his partner argue more and more, he would respond shortly and curtly, and he'll get more and more upset with their stubbornness and refusal to just walk away. If you push him long enough he'll explode a bit, letting his bottled up emotions out in one angry outburst where he'll likely say something he doesn't mean. 

When it comes to forgiving his s/o, it may take a while (a day or so of avoiding them and silence, and awkwardness when they're in a room together) but in the end he'll always forgive them. He's lost enough loved ones in his life, and he doesn't want his pride to keep him from losing you as well.

Gratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Law's very aware of when his s/o is doing something for him. He's always grateful for these acts of kindness, even if they're small in the grand scheme of things (making coffee for him, setting out the medical textbooks he was meaning to read later in the day, etc) He'll have a small smile on his face when he thanks them, either by saying it out loud or being a bit more affectionate than usual.

Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

At the start of the relationship, Law is very guarded. Once you two develop more trust for each other, he'll tell you more about his past and his plans for the future. His s/o will eventually become one of his closest confidants, if not the person he shares secrets with. Even then though, he may be inclined to keep some things hidden from you just to keep you safe (eg. He may not reveal the full steps of his plan to take out Kaido, just so in case you're captured you can't be forced to reveal everything). He's a pretty strategic guy, after all--even if things tend to go off-script if say, Luffy is involved.

Inspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

Having an s/o has helped him significantly with some of his emotional issues surrounding Corazon's death. He has his nakama who he trusts completely, but being close with someone in a romantic context is new to him. It's not like he has that much real-world experience with romance and dating, since his adolescence and young adulthood has been...not ideal for that sort of thing. He's gotten better at not just freezing up in surprise whenever his s/o kisses him, and actually taking some initiative to give affection in return. Between his trust issues with new people and how cold he comes off sometimes, he's actively tried to work through those problems so he can be the partner his s/o deserves. Bepo and the rest of the crew have noticed how Law has started to smile and laugh more after he met you, and how he's a bit less wound-up when he's stressed. 

Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Law's not that jealous, but he does have his moments. He pushes those feelings down and doesn't act on them (unless someone is actively flirting with his s/o or something blatant--then, he's going to have to step in and tell them to stop going after someone completely out of their league). At most, he'll sound more curt and will want to get his s/o away from the person making him jealous as soon as possible.

Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Law's first kiss with his s/o was equal parts adorable and awkward. Aside from one or two drunken one-night encounters while traveling the seas, he doesn't have much experience in this area--and when it comes to kisses as a form of genuine romantic affection, he had NO experience until his s/o kissed his cheek one night when they were alone on the Polar Tang. He was so surprised by it that he just sort of...froze up and stared straight ahead for a while. Eventually he'd realize that he should probably return this gesture, and he would awkwardly turn around before kissing her with little-to-no-technique in mind. It's short, only a few seconds before he pulls away to gauge their reaction; judging by the sweet smile on their face at finally getting a kiss from him, he couldn't have been that terrible. His s/o immediately leaned forward to kiss him again, and it led to Law learning quite a bit in one evening about how to kiss someone.

Love Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Law wouldn't do any dramatic or grand gestures when confessing. I think it would be really obvious that he's in love with you, so it's just a matter of not revealing that you already know when he finally says it. He'd be more quiet than usual one night, going over exactly what he was going to say to you. When you ask him if he's alright, he immediately blanks on what he had planned to say and just says "...I love you."

Marriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Because of the target it might place on your back for being his spouse, he would be hesitant to propose. But over time, he would start to imagine what you'd look like with a ring on your finger, introducing yourself to people as Trafalgar ____...eventually he'd conclude that just being with him as an s/o puts you in danger, and you don't care about the danger because you care about him more.

Much like his love confession, he'd have what he wants to say planned out...but the second you look at him with those warm, kind eyes of yours and ask why he's acting so nervous, he'd just take out the ring and ask you to marry him. When you say yes, he slips the ring on your finger, holds you close, and tells you that he loves you with a small smile on his face.

Your relationship wouldn't change that much after getting married, aside from him being more openly affectionate sometimes when you're on an island together. Calling you his husband/wife/spouse always gives him a strange, almost giddy feeling in his chest the instant he says it out loud. You two are married. He's...your husband. It's an odd thing to think about, but it's odd in a good way; he's kind of surprised that he managed to find someone who he'd want to marry and who would want to marry him. His one regret is that Corazon wasn't able to meet you, and during the small ceremony on the Polar Tang, he leaves one seat empty for him.

Nicknames - What do they call their s/o?

He normally just calls you your name, or a shortened version of it, ("Jess" instead of Jessica, "Tony" instead of Anthony) when you guys are around other people. Sometimes on the Tang, he'll call you "honey" and the rest of the crew is ecstatic whenever they hear him call you that...to his slight embarrassment. They just think it's so cute to hear him call you "honey". 

On Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He tends to stare at the person he's in love with, and is just awful at saying how he feels to them. He'll have what he wants to say to them planned out in his head, and the instant he goes to open his mouth he totally blanks. There are times where he's walked up to his s/o, panicked when he actually looked at them and was distracted by how attractive they looked, and how they always make him feel vulnerable, albeit in a good way...and just looks at them in silence for a while before walking away. 

He's better at expressing his feelings in writing, so his love confession would probably include either a little written speech or bullet points of what he wants to say, or he'd give his crush a full letter and at the end, ask them to come to his room to talk privately.

PDA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

He's not big on PDA, since every time he is openly affectionate with you his crewmates can't help but remark at how cute it is to see you two together. He's also a bit of a shy guy when it comes to giving and receiving affection; if you kissed him on the cheek, he'd freeze for a second before awkwardly taking your hand or something. His PDA is more casual, like having you lean against him (or leaning against you) and taking your hand when you two are walking around. At the first sign of danger, he'll instinctively either take your hand or put an arm out in front of you.

Quirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Law's a great listener, and he remembers a lot about the people he cares about. You could mention craving something for dinner and then a few days later, and he'll write down the ingredients for it; a few days later, he and Shachi are making it for the crew's dinner and he gives you the first place. He isn't one for grand romantic gestures, but he'll do little things like that because he cares about you and likes knowing that he made you feel happy and appreciated.

Romance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

As said previously, he's not one for big, romantic, Sanji-esque gestures; he thinks that kind of over-the-top sentiment would annoy you (and it would definitely annoy him). Some of the romantic gestures he displays are a bit cliche, though, in a sweet kind of way. He'll write short notes to his s/o when he wakes up before them, just to say where he's at; he'll always write "good morning" at the top though, and sometimes will add little cute messages as well: "You looked like you were dreaming about something nice, so I didn't want to wake you", "It's cold out and I already wish I was back in bed with you", etc. 

Support - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He's absolutely helping his s/o reach their goals, no matter what they are. A lot of his help comes in the form of advice and constructive criticism when he thinks something isn't a good idea; it's usually said a bit bluntly, but it's not meant to be an insult. He's saying these things from a genuine place, but he doesn't realize how cold and blunt he can sound sometimes.

Thrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

With how chaotic life as a pirate captain (and a Supernova...and a former Warlord, lol) can be, he enjoys the little routines he has with his crew and his s/o. Waking up in the morning, going to bed at night, eating meals with you, Bepo, Shachi, Penguin, Ikkaku, the whole family...he treasures it not despite how mundane it is, but because of how mundane it is.

Understanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He's an intuitive guy...at times. When you're upset about something, he can tell that you are in fact upset, but he tends not to know why you are. Even if you two previously had an argument over him being too protective, and you're a bit more sulky a few days later, he'd actually wonder what you might be upset about. Similar to Luffy, he's equal parts observant and ignorant sometimes.

Value - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

His relationship is one of THE most important things to them. Prior to meeting his nakama and falling in love with his s/o, he had almost lost hope in his ability to actually feel love at all--familial, platonic, or romantic. When he became the captain of the Heart Pirates, he realized that he could love again. He realized it again when he met his s/o. And he would sacrifice anything if it meant he could keep them safe.

Wild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He LOVES. LOOOOVES seeing you wear his clothes. He’ll be looking for his hat, see you in bed wearing it just for fun, and he feels a stereotypically romantic fluttering in his chest. It’s such a romantic cliche, so he tries to hide how much it affects him...he’s not that good at hiding it, though.

XOXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He's more affectionate in private, compared to when there are people watching; though if he's on the Polar Tang with his crew, he doesn't mind being affectionate either (though he gets a little embarrassed when they talk about how sweet it is to see him being cute with you). He likes leaning on you when you're sitting together (or when you lean on him), having you rest on his lap while he reads a book or something, having his hand on yours or on your thigh or shoulder...his PDA is very casual.

Yearning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He tries to "logic" his way out of missing them, if that makes sense. He'll remind himself that it'll only be a few more weeks until he gets to safely see you again, and that he's had to wait longer to see you--he can wait a little longer. He'll also try not to think of how much he misses you too often, but it still always manages to enter his mind. 

Zeal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Law would absolutely kill for his s/o (and probably has, if the Marines or other enemies have ever tried to hurt them). And as for the farthest he'd go...If he had to make a decision that meant either his s/o and crew or say, Luffy and the Straw Hats? If he was pushed into a corner and absolutely could NOT find a way to save them both, he'd choose his s/o and his nakama.