#saeyoung x lila

[marshmallowprotection]

OOUGH I TRIED TO GET THEM BEFORE IT PASSED BUT HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KAIT!!! have seven and his sweeties goofing off with multiples of his glasses because these are party people who will make the party part slap. but lila and saeray are the main event and i hope these scribbles are a.) able to be parsed and b.) something that brings you joy... i hope your birthday has been great! 🎉 🎊🥳 —Submission

OH MY GOD SKELLY THEY'RE ALL SO GOOFY I ADORE THEM I'M GONNA PUT THESE ON MY FRIDGE

Judas, Saeyoung and Minji would make the best party, ever. I think it'd be cheesy and personalized. Minji would make the best treats to taste, Judas would distract me with a shopping trip, and we'd come home to Saeyoung tangled in a box of streamers with Saeran. Sobs. But, Saeray and Lila are so. precious. THEY'RE JUST SO SMALL AND SQUISHY. I'M GONNA PINCH THEIR CHEEKS THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

[kingdomzeldaquest]

Lila’s Nightmare - Mystic Messenger Zen X MC

Zen is a soldier stationed in Lila’s town. After an impeding attack on the town threatens to separate them, Zen will do what he can to take her home with him. 

Story taken from the song from the musical Miss Saigon - Kim’s Nightmare 

Zen nervously tapped his foot as the Captain wrote out the papers he so desperately needed. The city was going to fall soon and the troops that were stationed there were soon going to be pulled out.

The Captain finally spoke as he pushed over a pile of papers across the table, “Sorry, sergeant, as things degenerate, all I'm giving her is her emigration papers, without the wait. Sign here.”

Frustration hit Zen and he brought his hand down onto the table, “That's not good enough!” He knew just the papers alone wouldn’t be enough to get her out safely right now.

Sighing at his frustration, the Captain took back the papers. Working quickly, he subtly added a few more pages to the documents, “This will get her on board the carrier. You're declaring that you will marry her when you get back to the states?” Zen nodded, of course he was going to marry her. She was the love of his life, “Sign here.” He didn’t have time for another outburst from Zen.

As Zen signed the papers, a soldier came up behind the Captain. He glanced at Zen before speaking again, “By order of the old man, the embassy will close according to plan.” He spoke loud enough for both the Captain and Zen to hear.

The Captain nodded at the soldier before addressing Zen, “I'll stretch a couple rules to issue her pass. That's it, you're ready.” Zen nodded again, taking what he needed before turning and leaving, “Nice ass.” The Captain mumbled to himself before shouting, “Who's next?”

When another soldier came back to the Captain, complaining that it was taking too long, the Captain was beginning to get frustrated, “By order of the old man we're processing the gooks as fast as we can. I mean Vietnamese, hey don't get me wrong, can't leave these looks for the Cong - right?”

Finally Zen had made it back to her small place where Lila was waiting for him. They had only spent a few months together, ever since Zen was stationed in the city after being deployed for war. It was love at first sight for Zen. She was a few years younger than him, but she was scared and alone and it reminded Zen of himself only a few short years ago.

After getting to know each other, Zen swore he would protect her, and right now that meant getting her out of the country.

She was quick to her feet at the sight of her white haired lover, throwing her arms around his tall frame as soon as she reached him.

He looked up as he embraced her, only to see the clock behind her, “Christ, I am due at the embassy. No time to lose.” He had only come back on his way to the embassy to tell her he was successful in getting the papers to take her with him.

“I don't want you to leave me today.” Lila didn’t let him go as she tried to hold him tighter. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t scared. Everything was going to hell outside and she didn’t like when Zen wasn’t here to keep her safe.

Prying her arms from around him, albeit reluctantly, Zen held her by her shoulders, “Well at least Uncle Sam bought our honeymoon cruise.” He offered her his dashing smile to try and comfort her.

Lila shook her head, grabbing his biceps as she looked up at him with pleading eyes, “If you're going I don't want to stay.”

Zen dropped one arm and pulled out his gun, “Look I'm leaving my gun.” He took one of her hands and placed the handle in her small delicate fingers, “We got time. Stay and pack.”

As much as she didn’t want to, Lila relented, “Well I will do whatever you say.”

“We'll get plenty of word when the VC attack.” Zen tried to reassure her as he kissed her forehead, “I want you in that bed waiting when I get back.” He pointed to the bed behind her, before kissing her once again, this time on her lips, before leaving.

Things quickly went from bad to worse outside the embassy once Zen got there.

“Sorry, sergeant, we must accelerate. State department says we evacuate. The word is, we must be out by dawn.” Jaehee told him when the gates closed on the embassy.

Zen wasn’t expecting this. He was told they had time! “But my girl is out there!”

Jihyun put his hand on Zen’s chest to hold him back from running to the gate, “Sorry, sergeant, it's straight from Washington. No one leaves the grounds now, not anyone. As fast as we load the planes, we're gone.”

“Okay! Keep quiet! don't shout!” Saeyoung tried to silence the crowd as they let through the few refugees that they could. He knew they could take more, but they were running out of time and the people were panicking. “The Ambassador won't leave till everyone's out. The choppers're on their way, there's room for you all!”

“They're climbing over the wall!” Across from him Yoosung shouted, “Get back! Get back! I tell you, don't shout. The Ambassador won't leave till everyone's out.”

An order suddenly came from over the crowd, “The Ambassador just sent an order to freeze!”

“That's it! No more Vietnamese!” Saeran shouted, closing the final gate, “Get in!”

Lila tried her best to push through the crowd that had amassed outside the embassy. She couldn't stand to wait alone, and left for the embassy not long after Zen. It was then that she got the news that they were evacuating. She knew Zen wouldn’t have time to come back for her.

“I'm the wife of a soldier, please let me through!” She shouted over the crowd, hoping anyone might be able to help her. “Help me, who must I pay? Tell me what I must do!” She began to plead to nothing as she tried to shove through the panicking crowd.

“Let me out!” Zen demanded as he tried to get out of the embassy building, “I have got to go back to my bride!”

“Dammit sergeant not now!” Jumin shouted, too preoccupied with loading the choppers instead of turning to punch Zen. As much as he wanted to.

“Listen, someone! My husband is waiting inside!” Lila cried out again. She was being pushed and shoved around now as she fell into the crowd. She wasn’t sure which way was out and which way way the embassy but she figured she might be getting closer to the gate.

Zen had made his way to a phone, and was calling Lila. Hoping he could explain the situation, and maybe say goodbye. Even though he swore to himself he would be back for her soon if he couldn’t get to her today. “Please Lila. Hear the phone. I can't get there. Please be home.” He pleaded aloud as the phone continued to ring, with no one picking up.

With one final shove, Lila found herself pushed out to the side of the crowd, the gate still far to the other side of the crowd. “Please Zen. No one sees. I am lost here. Find me please.” He had always managed to appear just in time to save her in the past. He was her knight. Lila didn’t know what she would do without him.

Zen hit the wall as he called again, “Please, get me through, I don't care how. Don't take my love away, not now.”

Trying for the gate again, Lila was stuck once again, “Oh, Zen. I can't get free. Still I'm with you. Wait for me.”

Slamming the phone down after another failed attempt, Zen finally managed to make his way outside the building. He saw the crowd and began to look through it. If she wasn’t home, maybe she was here. He desperately tried to spot her, even though the back of his mind was telling him that she wasn’t here, “Oh Lila. Please get free. I am with you. Wait for me.”

Jaehee came up behind him, grabbing his arm as she tugged him back towards the building, “Sorry sergeant, inside the Embassy! We are pulling out now and there will be no more reprieves.”

“I got till the old man leaves!” Zen snapped at her, ripping his arm from her grip.

“Zen, don't be an ass.” Jumin finally spoke directly to Zen, his strength much more than Jaehee’s as he pulled him towards the helicopters, “The Ambassador is leaving now!” He shouted and the crowd heard.

The citizens trying to claw through the gate wailed out as they began to bargain with the soldiers to help them escape.

“Take me with you!”

“Take my children!”

“I have a letter, here!”

“I helped the CIA!”

“They’ll kill who they find here! Don't leave us behind here!”

“I've a wife who left already!”

“I have an aunt in New York!”

“I have gold, I can pay!”

“There is no one to find here! They have left us behind here!”

Lila’s pleads were lost among the crowds desperation, “I must get in there, listen, anyone!” She pulled out Zen’s gun, in hope to convince them that her story was true, “Please tell my husband... look! I have his gun!”

The man beside Lila shoved her roughly to get past her, “Out of my way, if that's all that you've got!”

“If I am here when they come, I'll be shot!” Another shouted over the chaos.

Zen was struggling against Jumin’s grip, “Let me go, Jumin, I can't leave her! Why in the world should I be saved instead of her?”

Behind them, the crowd continued to cry in desperation, “They'll kill who they find here! Don't leave us behind here!”

Jumin resisted the urge to hit him again, “It's not you, it's the war that's cruel. And if some dreams get smashed, perhaps it's best they were.” Zen’s struggles began to fail, as well as his ability to stand.

“There is no one to find here! They have left us behind here!”

Grabbing Zen to face him directly, Jumin continued to ignore the crowd, “Wake up, my friend, your mercy trip has failed. There's nothing you can do, that ship has sailed. She's not the only one we'll have betrayed.” Taking advantage of his weak state, Jumin dragged Zen up to the roof of the embassy, where the last of the helicopters were leaving.

“Get to the roof, or else we are betrayed!” Someone in the crowd called, noticing the few helicopters that remained.

Lila however, had lost hope, seeing the last of the helicopters take off, “Oh, Zen. I still believe. The heart of you is here with me. My heart, against all odds holds still.”

Zen watched as the ground became further away, Jumin holding him in place, as the helicopter took off. Flying over the city, Zen could see the attack had begun on the city. People were screaming and crying as the city fell.

[marshmallowprotection]

hello hello!! it is i, once again!! so here's a fun little thing for you: do you have any little headcanons or drabbles or anything, really, rattling around in your head that you would like to share but haven't yet had the chance to? like any little character thought that you don't think is big enough to post on its own or something, this is your free space to toss it out, no bigger context or work needed

-embroidery anon

(i thought of this because i just put together something really small for one of my stories and feel like celebrating the ideas of things. all the stuff we don't mention that becomes part of something larger later <3)

God. There are a lot of things I'd love to write or work on! Sometimes, I just don't have the spark to work on it, or I don't think it'd get love in the way I'd love it. My head is filled with prompts all the time! So, the answer to this is, where do I even begin? This is about to be so long, I swear to God.

I have so many thoughts about my Obey Me x Mystic Messenger crossover that I'm working on in the background of other stories right now.

There's a lot of character development and analysis that I would love to do for that but I just haven't got the chance to do it yet. I don't want to just write the main story, there's a part of me that wants to write things that are happening to other characters in the meantime.

Like, I would love to explore Saeyoung’s faith. I want to see what happens when he is presented with Lucifer, given that’s who he named himself after. Even without the crossover, I think it would be really interesting to explore that part of his faith in a way that helps my own religious trauma.

There is a part of me that wants to do a deep exploration of character sexuality and gender expressions, too.

I would love to sink my teeth into the concept of Saeyoung’s gender fluidity. It's something that a lot of people have talked about over the years, but I have never put in my thoughts and feelings about it in a way that would allow me to truly explore his character the way I want to and share my interpretation.

Another concept I want to work with is my personal take on Jumin being asexual. There is a lot to that specific headcanon of mine and I would love to go into detail one of these days. I just haven't had the energy to replay Jumin’s route lately!

I haven't really talked about that in a long time, unfortunately. It's something I feel passionate about when it comes to his character, but it can be a hard time talking about it because there are a lot of acephobes out there that pop into my posts. Which, hey, if anyone reading this is acephobic, get out of here, you are unwanted by my demisexual ass. <3

I don’t get to write Yoosung or Zen enough. I feel like there's potential for me to explore their characters a lot better but I just haven't found the right concept that I want to work with them on. There's a part of me that wants to flesh out Yoosung in my Cowboy universe. I just haven't put together the pieces yet but once I do, we're going to finally have me riding about him properly in a story that is all his own. Maybe I’ll get to Zen someday… 

He, unfortunately, always winds up as the best friend to the Readers in my stories. But that's kind of how I see him so it's hard for me to write about him in any other way.

God, I think the thing that is on the back burner most of the time are CMC-driven stories.

One story I want to write is centered around my Poly Trio since they fall behind Saeran and Lila so often! Judas and Saeyoung have this dynamic that bounces between enemies to reluctant friends to lovers that makes me feel some kind of way. There's a part of me that really wants to explore their dynamic quite often. I think about the time just before Minji appears a lot.

Like, Judas is an informant who has been working to get revenge on his ex-boyfriend who used and abused him for years after scooping him up off the streets as a teenager. He almost got what he wanted, to kill him in cold blood, but they put a hit on his head and his only choice was to sell himself to the Agency Saeyoung works for to save his skin momentary. The agency wants his information and then they want Saeyoung and Vanderwood to kill him. The cat and mouse that shapes them sends me sometimes.

Minji is the sunshine between them. She is their guiding light who guides them back to happiness after bathing in sin, but I want badly to write about that time between she appears in the apartment just to see Saeyoung and Judas bite each other's heads off.

I have even more ideas for Saeran and Lila, but I typically tend to scratch that itch when I have it. Besides, you're asking for those things that I think about but never wind up doing no matter how much I want to do it.

Unsurprisingly, there are so many things that I still haven't written for Ray, Suit Saeran, GE Saeran, VAE Ray, VAE Suit Saeran, Unknown, or SE Saeran. I don't think I can fit everything that I've ever wanted to write about when it comes to that character but I certainly can't do it in a single post.

There are a lot of little things that I would love to write about when it comes to each and every one of them. Sometimes, though, the concepts that I have are so little that it would just turn into a post that looks a little bit like: 

“Ray is the little spoon. Send Post.”

[marshmallowprotection]

If lila wasn’t shipped with saeran, who would you ship her with (if you would ship her with anyone)

I've asked for this a couple of times. There's a whole scenario where Seven pines after her in a reality where Minji and Judas don't exist. There is a scenario I've wrote before where I swapped my ships, meaning Seven x Lila & Minji x Saeran x Judas just for kicks. I think there's definitely a lot of potential that you can play around with in those scenarios.

I suppose if you're talking about who I think she would pair with well if she was not paired with Saeran. I think from a personality standard and knowing what she's like, she's most compatible with Jumin or Zen. She's actually close friends with Jumin in most timelines, she just enjoys talking to him and he's so levelheaded. He always listens to what she has to say and she's not used to people taking her voice seriously so it's kind of a big deal. She understands his sense of humor and think it's hilarious when he pokes fun at Zen sometimes. Within reason. Though, they do have differing opinions when it comes to politics and personal beliefs. Lila is very empathetic and is always willing to put others first. She would do her best to listen to anyone that needs to be heard no matter who they are. I think that's why she would notice that Jumin beeds someone to hear his voice. I also just think the idea of their style differences makes me chuckle. She's a sweet lolita and tends to be bubblegum and smiles, and Jumin is all business and class. They seem like polar opposites. Though, I think he would appreciate that she puts so much work into her style. God, and she would make Elizabeth cute bows and accessories. Though, I know that she would have such a hard time with the publicity and all the eyes on her back. She's not so great at being a public figure or being in the public eye. She can mask that when she's wearing the right outfit and presenting herself in a certain manner but really at the end of the day she has a hard time showing up side of herself. It might help her to come out of her shell with Jumin. I think it's an interesting Dynamic and it would be fun to play around with.

I think Zen is a possibility simply because she would play into that fantasy that she has. She is a total princess. She's kind of been waiting for someone to sweep her off her feet for a very long time and I have the feeling Zen would understand that feeling very well. They also relate on a lot of levels believe it or not. Lila struggles with body dysmorphia and has a hard time looking at herself if she's not wearing the right outfit. Zen knows that feeling himself because he's taken gears to learn how to love himself and even now he still has complications with that. So, I just know that they would have a lot in common when it comes to talking to each other so I think a relationship could be built off of that. I also know that he would totally appreciate her dedication to her fashion even if it's not exactly something that he's into. He totally thinks she's cute. I think he would motivate her to really follow her passion and dedicate herself more to modeling. Because, she does run a Blog where she talks about her outfits and her adventures. She often shares her outfits and her coordinates and it helps her build her body confidence. So, I could kind of Imagine them being a modeling power couple. God, Lila doing some Shiro Lolita with Zen is actually really enticing for some reason that I don't know. It's possible that he would just make her laugh and I think she needs that sometimes.

I've never really been able to imagine her with Jaehee or Yoosung. I think Vanderwood is a good wildcard. I've hinted at her appreciating them aesthetically before, and Vanderwood is kind of soft around her and Minji, to be honest with you, so there's that. Something that you don't expect so I think that's just very interesting. Seven is okay sometimes but I feel like he has a little too much in common with her older sister and that's why I never really delve too deeply into how they would be in a relationship if they had one in any reality.

So, if anyone was curious about a specific relationship Dynamic that she might have in an alternate universe where she's not dating Saeran, I'd be willing to explore that. But, at the end of the day, she's with Saeran always.

[marshmallowprotection]

I read your tag about what if lila was shipped with saeyoung instead and it was so cute. i want to see him dressed like a lolita too! do you have any more headcanons on how it would go? 👁️ And what if Saeran was with Minji and Judas. What would that be like? I feel like Minji and Saeran would have a fun time cooking together. But its hard to imagine how Judas and Saeran bonding looks like.

I think I’ve talked about it before, but it’s definitely been a while since I’ve had the thought on my mind. So, let’s consider the possibility here and play around with the timeline and see what would happen if we swapped around the MCs in their relationships. 

Now, I suppose would be smarter to start with Judas since he is involved with Saeyoung much earlier than Lila meets Unknown, or Ray, it just depends on the timeline. Judas, as we all know, is a former informant and would take power by gaining secrets using his body or his promises to get what he’d wanted. He was fixated on revenge and destroying his ex-boyfriend who was to become the next head of a Mafia ring.  

 He spiraled wildly out of control until he fucked up one day. He made a mistake and took down the wrong guy, and it landed a hit on his head. They saw him as a nuisance until he proved himself angry and crafty, and he knew he was rightly fucked. He made a deal with Saeyoung’s agency to trade his secrets for some kind of protection, but we all know the agency wanted his secrets and then they were going to kill him. 

Judas actually met Minji one evening and escorted her home when she walked int the wrong side of town and that was what helped Saeyoung vet Minji when she appeared in the apartment. Now, if we were to say that instead of making one mistake, he meets Rika at some point and she wants him for his powers of true coercision. She sees his anger and righteous fury and loves it. He could make a good boy who deceives others for the cult. It’s hard to trick him, but I think if he offered to help him kill his Ex, he’d take it, and she’d trick the trickster because of his weakness. 

That puts him interacting with Unknown very often. Judas loves to flirt and play around with others for fun. He, like Lila, tends to prefer fashion that is princely in nature and we all know how Unknown feels about fancy clothes and pretty folks. That’s a weakness. I imagine he and Unknown could both bond over revenge in a rather easy way. It’s possible there is tension between the two of them over a lot of power. Trust me, this is the only way that it’d work. They’re both angry and they’re both determined to destroy everyone that hurt them. 

I can see them having this love-hate relationship where they argue a lot and it turns into I-hate-you-but-I-want-to-kiss-you tension. However, they both have a lot of vulnerabilities. They both have mother issues. They both want to be seen and noticed. They both craved to be loved. It’s easy for them to use each other to cope. Unknown would give Judas hell over the small height difference that they have and assert himself and Judas would bite back. 

Now, if Unknown changed his mind at the last second with what he wanted in an assistant, and he took Minji instead... well, that just means that he’s picked Ms. Sunshine incarnate. Minji has a big heart and she knows nothing of suffering and misery. All she knows is that she wants to keep striving towards her dreams of being a baker. It’s odd with them because Minji is taller than Unknown is but he’d had a way of making her uneasy. 

She might have questioned why she was helping him break into an apartment and he got the upper hand on her by surprise. She’s a lot stronger than he is so he didn’t get the slip-on her that’d be messy. She wouldn’t know how to act with him biting and being so patronizing at first. Yet, she’d help him because she can see that she’s got no choice. She decides to get to know him and understand Mint Eye better so she can see why he is the way he is. 

I imagine Minji would be forced to spend a lot of time making sure that Unknown ate something other than liquid sugar. She’s hopeless at hacking. That’s what he would settle for. He would tell her what to do and she wouldn’t fight him but she would try to pick him apart piece by piece until Lila because she isn’t entirely in danger of being hurt. 

Let’s see, her cheery optimism that doesn’t die bothers Unknown. She would do these kind things to him and he would be so fucking lost, man. His heart would pound wildly for some reason when she ruffled his hair and did things for him with no prompting needed on his end. I imagine that he finds that the longer that he’s around Minji, the more he feels like he has a partner that he can trust. That is until Judas starts pushing in. 

Rika wants Unknown to get someone in that apartment right now. So, she pushes Judas to work with him and his new assistant to find out who would be best for this situation. Judas remembers helping Minji and flirts with her quite a bit, and Unknown warns him that she’s his. Judas is going to keep pushing his buttons and he’s going to keep pushing at Minji. It’s going to be tense and Minji is going to find herself working with these two guys, trying to protect the next person that winds up in the apartment she was meant to walk into—

And at the same time, she’s finding more and more that she’s got feelings for the two guys that she’s working with. Unknown is angry but when he has nightmares at night and needs comfort, he shows her that he’s got a heart. Judas helped her in the past and she trusts him, even if she’s lost in his hatred. Her kindness in the face of cruelty is to be admired. 

 I imagine this relationship is one where all parties have feelings for each other but are pretty torn and confused about how to bring the pieces together. In the end, if they’re able to be saved from Mint Eye, I can imagine that SE Saeran will have the most fun just devoting his time in the kitchen helping Minji and being her assistant, hilariously. She just makes him feel safe and warm. Who wouldn’t feel safe when their tall girlfriend scoops them up and dotes on them? Now, it would be harder with Judas. 

I know that they’re going to have sassy banter and they’re going to be snarky, even catty. Their relationship is one where both parties keep pushing the other to their limits, and then they wind up kissing. It just works for some reason that I can’t explain. Judas can be very... high-maintenance but that doesn’t mean that Saeran can’t bite back. 

Can you imagine their cuddle pile? Minji is in the middle and both of the guys are curled up next to her and it’s kinda cute, wtf. 

Now on the flip side, let’s talk about what would be going on with Lila. We all know that Lila more or less left home after she had a big blow-up with her sister, who misunderstood just how much their mother was bullying Lila after she had moved away. It was a big spat. She left because she needed to... not be near the family anymore. She’s hurt and upset but she just wants to be as far as she can get from home. So, this is the first place her hand landed on the map and she went with it. 

She’s insecure, and the only time that she feels like she can be herself is when she’s in Coordinate. If she’s not wearing a cute dress, then she’s looking at the ground and clutching onto the ends of her sleeves. She’s quiet, but she will say things if she has to. She’s also a painter that gets lost in her thoughts, I would call her paintings a blend of Rococo style and Impressionism if that makes any sense. The objects on the canvas feel Rococo but the style itself on the board is Impressionist. 

Let’s say that she wasn’t the object of Ray or Unknown’s infatuation in this AU of yours. I think that Judas would pick her from the crowd and Minji would have given the idea to go and pick someone quiet and easy to manipulate, even if she didn’t say it like that, she gave him the idea. Judas takes it upon himself to bug her phone by tricking her and saves Unknown and Minji the trouble of getting her to open some phishing email. 

She winds up in the apartment, just as confused as everyone else is and she realizes that she got tricked. She just wanted to help someone because she’s a selfless type. She’s lucky if she doesn’t have a panic attack from that happening, but that aside, I think Seven would realize really fast that she’s just a girl who’s from overseas who got tricked because she didn’t think things through. Her use of Korean is a little messy, too, which sort of helped the fact that it was easy to trick her. 

You can Seven felt drawn to her the minute that he started looking into her past and her social media. After all, how can he not find a girl that spends her free time sewing and crafting outfits delightful? He can see that she’s hiding behind a mask just as he is from the start. She’s rather polite to him but he knows that it’s lovely to hear her laugh. She always humors his jokes and pranks for some reason that he can’t understand but it isn’t long before Lila sounds a bit sad whenever she talks to him late at night. 

He means to say, how can she be so polite and straightforward on the chat, and yet, he’s got her laughing so hard she’s crying on the phone? 

He probably won't get the answer until he’s locked in that apartment with her and there’s nowhere for him to go but the corner. Lila clearly is barely holding herself together but she’s biting her tongue and her fears to make sure that Seven feels like she doesn’t blame him because she doesn’t. She’s kind of blaming Rika for asking for a fucking bomb. Who asks for a fucking bomb? 

It isn’t until Lila breaks down in front of him and admits why she feels so happy and at peace with Saeyoung, and it’s because his jokester mask reminds her of her big sister. Her sister is always smiling and laughing, but there’s a pain in her heart that she’s hiding. Whenever Lila talks to Seven now, she thinks about how much she misses her sister but at the same time, she thinks about how much pain Seven must be in. She saw him hear that everyone had lied to him and he had been hiding so much for the sake of everyone around him. 

She’s able to confront him about lying about who he is. She tells him that he can’t hide behind a mask. That won’t make anyone happy, and it won’t make him happy. It’s what she failed to say in the past, and now she finally has the power to confront this problem head-on. She cares about Seven because he makes her laugh and forget about everything, but she also cares about those moments they have had where he whispers his fears to her and she listens to him say it all in the dead of night. 

Seven has to admit that she’s right. He’s not happy, but he wants to be happy and nobody has ever told him that he has the right to fight for his happiness if he wants it. He tried to break her by saying that she’s hiding behind her own mask of some polite princess, and Seven pushes her outside of her bubble and all of a sudden, she’s been tested. She finds herself standing taller and looking people in the eyes, without fear anymore. 

They push each other to bring out the good inside of themselves that they’ve been hiding because they were too scared to be themselves. 

I can see Saeyoung and Lila as this couple that tests each other. He pushes her buttons and makes her believe in herself. She pushes him to be himself, and not once fear that. They’re supportive. Saeyoung gets to explore his gender identity more with Lila and boy, does he not mind being called she/her, or they/them, he isn’t picky, but there’s something about being able to dress up and be doted on in this fashion that makes Saeyoung feel good. 

I HC him as NB/GenderFluid, have to throw that in there. I just want Lila to playfully call Saeyoung her girlfriend when they’re dressed up together and that redhead to turn into a mushy mess. I think there’s potential with the two of them to get along really well, I just never think of them in a romantic way because I’d fear that people would assume that Lila is projecting onto Saeyoung kind of like Yoosung does with RIka. 

Oh, boy. I said too damn much. 

[marshmallowprotection]

What would Lila do if Saeyoung also had it bad for her? In any route, whether Saeran was okay with it or not?

Hm, that’s a good question, anon. Normally, I pair off Saeyoung with one of my other MCs like Minji or Judas, or I pair him off with a friend’s MC when I’m writing with Lila and Saeran, rather than leave him alone without a partner at all. Lila’s relationship with Saeyoung in the regular canon that I write with is very BrOTP like they're close and they get along like a brother and sister would. Saeyoung and Lila vibe on a lot of fashion and aesthetic levels and she can trust him with quite a bit of information. 

When she’s with him, she thinks about her sister and their somewhat strained relationship. It’s somber at times but she likes to hang out with Saeyoung. He’s someone that can make her laugh without even trying. They’ve always had this natural friendship chemistry between the two of them. I don’t think Lila has ever thought him in a romantic sense. She just sort of took to him as a friend and that seemingly was that. 

Now, if Saeyoung wasn’t with anyone in any of the routes and she wound up with Saeran like she always does, she might not ever even notice or realize that he has stronger feelings for her then being close friends. Like I mentioned, she is kind of oblivious when she doesn’t have feelings for another person in that sense, you know? 

Saeyoung is a person that would sacrifice his own happiness for the sake of the people that he loves. Even if he loved Lila, be it through her going through his route as a friend, or getting to know each other during her time at Magenta when she chatted so amicably with him over the phone about nonsense just for the sake of talking late into the night for the company? Once he saw that she had feelings for Saeran and/or that Saeran had feelings for her, he would step back and out of the way immediately. 

Saeran and Lila would likely be the people that he cares the most about and to see them happy, being happy and together, then that is the best thing that he can ask for, honestly. It may hurt him and he may feel a tinge in his chest when he thinks about what could have been but he’ll kick himself for feeling that way when she and Saeran are so happy together. 

It doesn’t matter if he’s hurting. 

If Saeran is happy... if Lila is happy... then he’s happy. He’s the last person to ever want to be selfish. He’ll put their own happiness before his own and he will accept the fact that Lila only sees him as a friend, or as a brother if it means that she will happy. Seeing Saeran’s eyes so filled with life and joy after seeing him go through so much pain? That’s also worth it. He’ll never get in the middle of that, he would not allow himself to do such a thing. 

Lila may not even notice it, but it’s possible that Saeran would see the way that his brother looked at her if only for a split second. It would probably strike up his own nerves. He always feared that Lila would love Saeyoung and not him, that fear is palpable. She’s close with his brother already but even so, he still fears that one day she will realize that his brother is better than him. 

It might cause a lot of tension between the two of the brothers if it came down to something like that. It isn’t something that would make them fight or anything like that, but it would be something that would have to be addressed otherwise there would be a lot of awkward tension and uncertainty between the two of them. As Saeran and Saeyoung need to keep a dialogue between each other after, you know, everything that happened. 

Saeran quietly drowning in his insecurity. Saeyoung’s guilt for loving someone that loves his brother. Lila not even noticing that this is the issue between the two of them until someone points it out for her because while she would notice that something is wrong, she may not understand or she may misconstrue what the issue is. 

I think ultimately when it comes to it, she would not know what to do with herself if Saeyoung loved her like that. She might be stunned for a while and unsure of what to do with herself. She’s never had anyone love her before Saeran, and before that even happened, she had only ever been in one relationship and it was pretty abusive, to say the least. Lila’s never had a lot of confidence or self-worth. The only time she’s ever felt beautiful is when she’s in coordinate, and having Saeran love her is a lot, but having someone or someone(s) also have that feeling... 

It’s a lot to bear, honestly. It’s angst material, for sure, but it could have a positive outlook as well if I sat down and considered it more. 

[marshmallowprotection]

Lila and Saeyoung start to realize their feelings and grasp whats going on well after Saerans figured it out and fully accepted it, so when they both start acting awkward about it he's the one that brings it up over breakfast or something. "Could you both just kiss and make up already, you're obviously miserable avoiding each other like this."

They have that conversation one night after Lila has finally broken down and admitted that she's realized her feelings for Saeyoung. She couldn't avoid it forever and when the boys cornered her so she had to be honest about what was bothering her so much? All of the shame and guilt was she was hiding is laid out on the table and that's when Saeyoung is honest about his feelings as well in regards to Lila for the first time. She realized that she loved him when he smiled at her so broadly, and she felt so greedy and dirty for loving anyone apart from Ray and Saeran. Saeyoung knew he loved her when she dropped every thing to make sure that he had a great day, and he felt ashamed for being in love with his brother's girlfriend.

Once they've admitted it, there is no going back from this and they both realize that. The air is tense and awkward as hell that night as they talk about it. They air out every thing they have been feeling all at once. It just can't stop once it starts and that's the truth.

Saeran sits quietly, Lila clutching onto his sleeve like a lifeline of support. She keeps apologizing to him for this over and over again. She hasn't even done anything. She still feels ashamed of herself. Saeyoung takes the blame for all of her grief, and after it grows quiet, the truth on the table, the boy excuses himself from the room as not to get between Saeran and Lila again.

Saeran is honest with Lila that he isn't upset which shocks her greatly and she fears he's lying with her for her sake. However, he holds her for the entire night until the morning because she needs him and he won't leave her for this. She is his heart and she is his everything. He's there by her side. He can't do a lot about Saeyoung but he can help her cope with this. Ray is better at this mushy stuff but he loves this woman and he can do this. They kiss, there's a lot of reassurance.

She has the same talk with Ray later that week when he comes back out for the first time in a while. He's more delicate but he does not blame her for her feelings she cannot control her heart. He is just happy that she loves him no matter what. There's a lot of of tactial support, hugs, hand holding, the works for Ray and Lila. They come out of this feeling like their relationship is still cemented in the stars. Saeran, Ray, and Lila, that is. It's a lot of work but they are there for Lila like she was there for them.

Saeyoung spends a lot of time out of the home and he's always avoiding Lila like the plague. He tries to push her away for her own sake because he refuses to hurt her or make her feel like she owes him. She is happy with Saeran. Her feelings for him will go away someday and she will keep living happily with his brother which is what he wants. He may never love again but he's okay with that. She was the one. But, he's happy to give that up. Saeran's happiness is more important. It hurts him to ignore her when she calls. It hurts him when they pass each other and don't say anything like two ships in the night time.

Lila hurts without him around. His friendship was so important to her this entire time and now she doesn't even have that to have. She misses spending time with him. She misses his input on what she's working on. She misses having a friend to get tea with on the weekends. She hates it so much. He's just trying to go out with Yoosung or Zen to hide away from this. Lila stops trying but it's obvious she wants to reach out. It's obvious to the RFA that something is wrong when the normal banter is gone away. Saeyoung doesn't joke when she's online. He just goes mute or logs off. Vice versa. Lila leaves if he comes in or she goes quiet.

It's tense.

It's awkward.

It's hard.

Espeically when they poured their hearts out to each other that night and they said how much they meant to each other and then their bond turned to dust. It hurts. Saeran and Ray can see they are suffering for this and it's exhausting. Ray tries to help but it doesn't work very well when he tries to talk to Saeyoung about it. Lila just tells Ray that she'll get over this soon enough and he won't have to worry about this. Same with Saeyoung.

Saeran calls bullshit. He's got no patience and after like a week and some change, he cannot stand the tension anymore. He can't even get breakfast without Saeyoung walking into the room and Lila's soft laughter dies down to nothing. They don't look at each other and they just try to hide but Saeran just sighs, irritated. He presses his fist against the edge of the counter, "Could you both just kiss and make up already, you're obviously miserable avoiding each other like this."

Saeyoung and Lila both stiffen at this because Saeran hasn't ever been like this before. He hasn't ever said anything like that. It's very surprising to hear him so bluntly tell them to make up like that. They share a look and it is the first time they've really tried to see each other in days. Lila looks down and Saeyoung looks away from her.

"I'm tired of this bullshit. I'm not angry. I'm not mad. I love Lila. I want her to be happy. She sees something in you, God forbid anyone ever know how that's possible, and she loves you for some reason. I'm not mad that you love her, brother. I don't think anyone could ever hate Lila. So, could you two stop fucking acting like you don't care about each other and kiss or something? I'd rather that happen then have to sit here and have to go out and eat breakfast at one of the RFA's houses because you two won't get over yourselves."

Saeran lays the hard truths on them and keeps going off for a while until the message kicks. Saeyoung rests his hand against Lila's and she looks back at him, and then at Saeran as if making sure that it was okay. He just nodded, still irritated. "Just kiss the bastard. Do what you need to do before I actually lose my mind. I'm not the boss of you. You can love whoever you want."

And they kiss, its sort of awkward and like a baby deer taking his first steps to walk in the spring, but there is a spark of sorts that cannot be denied in that little kiss that only lasts a half a second but it feels like forever to the people involved. Lila is left looking up at Saeyoung with wide, uncertain eyes and Saeyoung is left looking like that deer. Yet, nevertheless, Lila tentatively reaches for his hand and holds it in her own.

And that's the start of something very new and very intriguing. Dbdkjfiejd I'm actually kind of invested in this AU now, it's got a lot of potential for support and love that every body needs.

[marshmallowprotection]

“Have you seen Saeran?”

“I haven’t seen him since earlier this afternoon. He hasn’t answered any of my texts, I thought that he might be out with you. He wasn’t in the greenhouse when I checked but I could look again. He usually tells me if he’s going to step out like this.”

Although they were no longer bound in fear of their father or the agency coming after them, that didn’t life that mean was without stress or worries. Life had many curveballs to deal with and they weren’t always pretty or fun. Saeran had been in better spirits but that relative peace and comfort still could get to him.

He may have let go of much of the pain that held him down, it still affected him and the way that he interacted with the world at large. There was no denying it and even though his panic attacks and episodes of confusion were few and far between. 

Him not saying a word to Lila wasn’t a good thing. 

Saeyoung knew that unease in her eyes. He patted her shoulder in a small attempt to reassure her from anything worse for wear. It wasn’t like they had life or death threats anything. That wasn’t something that they had to worry about in this life of freedom. They’d had their K-Drama level adventure and they had their fill of it. 

“I’ll go check outside,” he said, gently. “You check the rest of the house and if we still can’t find him, then we’ll let the others know and then we’ll send out the dogs after him, okay?” 

She couldn’t crack a smile at his attempt at a joke but she appreciated that he was trying his best. Saeyoung always was, even if he had no clue sometimes when it came to calming down his brother in the midst of a fire but he’d always let her know that he appreciated everything she did. 

Sometimes, Saeyoung acted like she knew what she was doing all the time as if she’d trained for it, but she never did. She just took a deep breath and walked in the room knowing that she would handle anything that was happening as best as she could and if she made a mistake? 

Saeran would forgive her and they could make a system for it in the future if it were to happen again. That’s just how they’d settled into their relationship in the first place. It may have started between some messy circumstance but they’d made the best of that and kept walking forward. 

Which is why whenever he didn’t answer her or tell her what was up, she knew that something wasn’t right. She decided that she’d do a sweep of the house to be sure that he wasn’t just holed up playing Animal Crossing again, she caught him playing late one evening and he hid it from her because—

Gosh darnit, that dork was working on breeding flowers to give her again. Which was really sweet, but not at two in the morning when he was supposed to be in bed when she got home from hanging out with Jaehee. He’d always laughed it off whenever she scolded him because it sounded so silly when she did it. 

It was as simply as him saying, “So, this is what you look like when you’re mad? Huh?” She’d bap him on the shoulder with a huff on her lips whenever he teased her like that but it was sweet in his own way. It was just another thing to add to her list of reasons why she loved him.

She knew that she shouldn’t expect anything less than that level of attitude. 

With Ray and Saeran together, it was a perfect harmony of confidence and sincerity that made him his own person. Though there were moments where it felt like those personalities flooded to the surface, she knew that they weren’t gone as they existed in her Saeran, or Saeray, as Saeyoung had playfully joked once. 

They weren’t gone. 

Who they were created the man that she loved very dearly. She loved him, all of him, no matter who she was speaking with. That fact would never ever change as long as she drew a breath in her body. Perhaps that would be tested soon, as she stopped at the last room at the end of the hall. It was her work room that she had separately from the bedroom.

Saeran had insisted that if he and Saeyoung had their own space in the house, meaning that Saeyoung had the basement to tinker on his gadgets and toys as he wanted, and Saeran had the greenhouse to tend to whenever he needed to work on his hobby, then she deserved her own space to be able to sew or paint to her heart’s content. 

Saeran never often came into the space when she wasn’t in there, but it was just slightly ajar. She always shut it. She gently opened the door and peered into the dark room with a frown on her face. It was obvious that someone had come into the room but she didn’t see anyone. “Saeran?” 

“...!” 

There was a gentle thud to her right, so she switched on the light with a soft flick of her wrist and paused, turning to look at the figure that was huddled tightly in the corner. He was looking at her but this was this unreadable confusion and fear in his eyes. 

“I wasn’t sure where you went and...” Lila paused. 

She was surprised to see him tucked away in the nook that she’d set up for herself on the floor. To be fair, it was a cozy area because she’d tucked away all her spare blankets and plush that she’d brought over from her childhood room to decorate the space. 

It reminded her of the way that Ray used to look at her whenever Saeran got far too overwhelmed with his anger back at Magenta. He wouldn’t know who she was for a long moment, nor where he was or what had been going on while he was gone. 

Clearly, something wasn’t right. 

Nor was the fact that he’d been crying. So, something had happened but she didn’t know what exactly happened. He rubbed at his eyes but he never stopped looking at her as if he were waiting for her to lash out. She’d seen the way that he flinched.

It was subtle. 

She had done the same thing when she was a child and her mother yelled at her for the hundredth time for not coming home right after she finished school. It was just something that you learned to do over time when you thought that you were going to get hurt by an adult. 

It had been a while since something like this happened, so she wasn’t sure if he had something trigger a flashback or worse. 

She stayed where she was in the doorway but sank down to her knees to show that she wasn’t going to move or do something rash. She’d never touch him or make a move without him letting her know that it was okay. “Are you okay?” she tried, softly. 

No response.

“Did something happen?” 

His voice was a bit too quiet to pick apart. “...”

Those weak sniffles were still evident in his throat this time. There was no recognition in his eyes, either. There was just that fear that she saw and that broke her heart. She wouldn’t let it show, not for his sake, no, it wasn’t the time to focus on herself. 

He wasn’t okay and she needed to work to figure out the source of this problem. She couldn’t leave him, but at the same time, she needed to let Saeyoung know that she had found him. Lila cursed herself for leaving her phone on the table as she went to look for him. 

She hadn’t thought that she would have to, and this is what she got for letting herself not carry that thing like another limb like she had done when they were together. Lila looked at him once more, deciding to test the waters once more to see if she could discern more. 

“Wait here,” she said, making sure that her voice didn’t raise too high. The last thing Lila wanted was to set him off the way that memories of his mother hit him hard. She needed Saeyoung. “I need to go and find Saeyoung, okay? I’ll be right back with him so don’t go anywhere.” 

Lila wasn’t getting anywhere with him like this, and she knew that if she at least had Saeyoung, they could work together to discern the problem. She rose from the ground and just as she went to step from the doorway, his quiet voice spoke loud enough that she heard him. 

“You know Saeyoung-hyung?” 

Lila stopped, and she looked back. There was something about his tone that seemed different. It was much more soft, more withdrawn. She looked at him, the wide eyed expression on his face and the way that his fingers had clutched tightly to the pillow in his lap. 

“Yes,” she responded. Okay, so he knew who Saeyoung was. That was a good step to knowing where who he was, if he was not Saeran. “Saeyoung is my good friend. He’s just downstairs right now. Were you looking for him?” 

He nodded his head, a bit too quickly. “Yeah... I got... scared,” he looked down at the floor again. It didn’t seem like he could meet her eyes. “I couldn’t find Hyung. Where is he? Is he okay? I need him. He said he— He said he would come and find me but—” 

Lila gently shushed him as the whimpers grew. “Do you want me to go get him for you? I promise I’ll only be gone a minute.”

His eyes widened and he furiously shook his head over and over. The huge fear returned to his eyes as he looked around the room that didn’t remind him of anything that he knew. “No, no, no, no. Please, please don’t leave me alone, Noona. Please. What if mom finds out that— that we’re not home? It’s so late— she’s gonna be so mad, Noona, where’s Saeyoung?”

Mom? 

Wait...

Could it be?

“Okay, I won’t leave. I promise. Saeyoung will find us in a few minutes, we were just looking for you,” she reassured him. Lila took a seat back on the ground this time in front of him but still making sure to ensure that he had enough space to feel safe and comfortable. Relief flooded his features but he grew silent not long after that. 

“...”

He kept his eyes trained on the ground as his fingers tugged at the fabric of the pillow that he pulled at. His eyes would flicker to his wrists and ankles now and again like he was searching for something binding him that couldn’t he found or seen. 

“Hey,” she changed her tone, smiling at him with a friendly look in her eyes. “Can I ask you something, if that’s okay with you? While we wait for Saeyoung to find us?”

He bit at his lower lip but nodded, seeming okay with her question. 

“How old are you?” 

He paused for a moment as if he were trying to think of his age. The nervous pull of his hands let her know that he was uneasy. He lifted his head just enough that she could catch a glimpse of his mint eyes again. “Um... I don’t... I don’t... I don’t know,” he said, quietly. “Hyung was the one that counted. I think... maybe... nine?” 

Okay, so it wasn’t Saeran.

It was a member of his system that she hadn’t met, or known about. As far as she knew, Saeran didn’t know about anyone else, either. It had been quiet for a while... so, he hadn’t really thought about as he started going to therapy again as he needed. 

“And, is your name Saeran?” 

He shook his head. 

A solid no.

She opened her mouth to ask him if he would like to share it with her but she heard the sounds of footsteps from the other end of the hall. She nodded at him when he mouthed his brother’s name, and he looked so much more at ease as the redhead entered the room. “Hyung!” he breathed in relief. 

Lila caught him by the arm and gave him a look, “Saeyoung, we’ve been waiting for you. Why don’t you take a seat?”

Saeyoung seemed puzzled by her statement but he knew that she would let him know what was going on if he didn’t figure it out on his own. He plopped down next to her against the carpet and much to his surprise, it took only a second for the child to sling his arms around him. 

“I thought you were gone forever,” he whimpered. “You said that you’d come back but I couldn’t find you.” 

The redhead stiffened, the very clear memories of those years washing over him like the back of his hand. 

He sucked in a breath and gladly returned the hug as it became appear that his brother wasn’t going to let go of him any time soon. “I’m right here. Hyung isn’t going anywhere.” he told him, gently. “You must have gotten a little lost looking for me, huh?”

The child nodded. 

“It’s okay. You found me, and you’re alright,” Saeyoung loosened the tension in his back as he smoothed down his hair. “What got you so upset? Did you miss me that much?” 

He whispered something that Lila couldn’t hear but Saeyoung did. The redhead breathed in deeply. “You don’t need to worry about Mom right now, okay? She’s asleep and we’re staying a special place where she can never find us. She’s not good at hide and seek, remember?” 

The child slowly nodded his head. He hung on Saeyoung’s every word like it was a lifeline. It seemed like he would believe his brother if he told him that pigs could fly. Granted, Saeyoung knew how to tell a really compelling story, it didn’t take long for him to reason with him that they were safe. 

Though, it was hard for her to know that this one had no memories of her, but only Saeyoung. It made sense. She was just glad that he knew Saeyoung and trusted him because he needed someone and even if that someone couldn’t be her, she wanted it to be someone he knew. 

She just stayed out of the way as Saeyoung handled everything he could, and she silently thanked him for being the saint that he was. Though, after a few minutes had passed, he kept glancing in her direction as if he were trying to see if he could figure out who she was, as if it were some mystery. 

Saeyoung caught onto that very quickly. “Curious about our friend, huh? Don’t worry. She’s really nice. She was really worried when we couldn’t find you so if you get scared again and you can’t find me, you can trust Lila, okay? This is her room, but I’m sure she’d love to share it with you.”

Lila brushed aside a loose strand of her hand from her face as she offered him a smile and a wave. “Of course, I would. You can always come in here if you feel upset. That’s what I would do if I was scared. Free feel to play with anything that you want, okay?

Those distressed tears that he had in his eyes were long but gone. He offered her a polite smile, it was a bit shy compared to the ones that Saeran shared but it was definitely an attempt on his part to show that he appreciated that gesture from her.

If she had been a scared kid, she would have gone to a space that felt like it was made for her, too. 

That quiet voice was still feather light and hard to hear but the quiet room made sure that it was audible. “Thank you, Noona.” 

Saeyoung nodded. It seemed that he wasn’t as upset as he was, so now they could focus on calming him down and ensuring that he felt safe until Saeran had the time to return from whatever triggered him to step away from the front in the first place. “Since we’re not home, what do you say about ice cream for dinner?” 

Those wide eyes lit up again. “Really?!” he nearly squeaked, but covered his mouth as if to stop himself from being too loud. “Really? Can we, Saeyoung-Hyung? Can we?” 

“Of course,” he said, looking back over at Lila. “You don’t mind if Lila comes with us, too, do you?” 

“She’s not gonna eat my half, is she?” a pout came across his face, and the two of them laughed a little. 

“Absolutely not,” Lila promised. “You get the biggest half.” 

[marshmallowprotection]

Thirty-two was a long way away from the twenty-two that had seen him down a path that would change his life forever. 

To think that ten years ago, he was alone in a dark cellar working until his fingers bled every day without a say in things, compared to now when it was his choice to do anything that he wanted to do every day, was a drastic comparison. It was not the same life. It wasn’t even in the same breath and yet, it was his life and his experience. 

If you asked Saeran if he would choose to change anything in his life, he was in a place to tell you that he wouldn’t change anything. There were many tears in his life but he had accepted that it had been out of his control and nothing that he could fight against. 

Everybody made a choice for him. Saeyoung, Jihyun, and even Rika. It wasn’t until someone believed in him that he started to question everything that he’d ever been told and decided that it would be his choice what he would do onward with his life.

It was his decision to decide what he wanted with his life, and he could say that he was happy with his choice. Every morning that he woke up, he knew that it would be a day where he could expect a few things but he wouldn’t know what all would happen. 

The mystery was less of a fear now and more of a luxury. 

To stare into the unknown and be happy with it. He never would have guessed that would be a factor in his life, but hey, there was a lot he never expected that he was okay with now that he might not have been in the past.

And as he looked out at the backyard of their little house, his forearms resting against the railing, he could see the expansive sea of flowers and the delicate cornucopia of nature’s bounty. There was freedom as far as the eye could see and the blue sky overhead reminded him of that fact.

He felt a presence slide next to him, though, he didn’t bother to look. He knew that it was Saeyoung. His brother paid no mind to anything, just followed his line of sight until he found what Saeran was staring at. “I’m surprised you’re not out there with them,” he said, chuckling. 

Saeyoung was referring to the pair hidden in that sea of flora just a bit out of sight but not enough that you could see them. Lila was tending to the garden but she had paused in her work the instance that the three-year-old at her side gave an insistent tug to the leg of her skirt. 

Though not within earshot, they could tell the toddler wanted to help. 

She merely smiled and sank to her knees, helping the little girl tip over the water tin with her support. The faintest sound of her laughter echoed in the air, as did Lila’s. “Good job,” she cooed. "Aren’t you a good helper, Nari. Thank you. You’ll have to tell your daddy you want to help him next time, okay?”

“M’kay, mama.” 

Saeran glanced at his brother, “Sometimes, I like to watch the moment instead of being in it. I don’t know, it helps everything feel more like it’s real... like it’s a tangible memory that I can touch. It’s kind of like a photo. Sometimes, my life just doesn’t feel real. I mean, does it feel real to you that we can be here and not worry about dying?” 

Saeyoung shook his head. He clapped a hand against Saeran’s shoulder, “It gets to me sometimes, too. But, that’s life. I’m happy with where we are now, Saeran. This is real and I promise that neither of us is going to wake up back there ever again. So, why don’t you go ahead and be with them? I’ll make sure to save your pies from the oven when they’re done.” 

“...I have my doubts about that,” Saeran gave him a look, but he chuckled. He stepped back from the edge and went out to join the other half of his little family with his head held high and his eyes to the sky. Saeyoung could say that he’d never seen Saeran happier than these moments. 

He deserved them. 

He deserved to be happy with his loved ones. They both had known so much pain and now that it was over, life could flourish and things would be okay. Even if they had their moments where it seemed like the happiness might be ripped away at any second. 

“This is no dream, Saeran,” Saeyoung said, quietly. “This is definitely the future I want for you. Please, never lose sight of what you want in life. I hope that you’re always happy.” 

The color faded from the scene. 

Just as quickly as that feeling washed over Saeran, he felt his eyes snap open and his mint eyes rested squarely on a wall in front of himself. He lifted his head up to look around and found himself looking down at Lila, still very much twenty-one years old, and holding onto him as her life depended on it.

Only a dream, he thought. 

He felt his head slump back against the pillow with an audible thud. Why had he had that dream? 

But, why had it felt like a goodbye?

[marshmallowprotection]

Lawn mowers are vegetarian roombas

[marshmallowprotection]

It wasn’t often that it was the two of them alone. 

Life just wasn’t how it used to be, but that wasn’t a bad thing. All that time together felt more like they had been alone. In a way, that wasn’t wrong, he was lost in his anger and vengeance, and she was caught up in her jealousy and the twisted means of protection. 

Faraway was the time spent alone in that room. Suffocating and isolating four walls even though they were merely a few feet apart back then. Now, it actually felt like they were together in the same room. Sure, things were a little different than they once were, but he wasn’t upset about it. 

Although it hadn’t been his choice to turn away from that life, he was... okay that someone had dragged him out when they did. Had they not done that, he would have not been able to go on living after seeing the blood on his hands. Her blood on his hands. 

Sometimes, it felt like his hands were still coated in that sticky ember, but when he looked or scrubbed, it wasn’t there. It just felt like it was. He supposed that it was the price of living. It was only a blessing that Lila hadn’t died back then, he’d not take her commitment for granted. 

Not now, not ever. 

It was hard to say, but, he felt grateful that he was alive. 

“You know, I can’t remember the last time that they all left the bunker at the same time,” her voice caught his attention, and when he turned to face her, her forehead bumped against his. Rather than pull away, her hand tentatively raised to brush his cheek. 

“He thinks we need a babysitter,” Saeran snorted. It was a bitter sound, but not as bitter as it might’ve been in the past. There was always one of them around no matter what happened, be it Minji, Judas, or Saeyoung. It went without them having to say it. They might have trusted their recovery, but what they probably didn’t trust was an episode. 

As if he’d ever lash out and hurt her, or vice versa. 

Still, ridiculous as those idiots were, he knew that they meant well. Just like how they meant well whenever they filled the house with the sounds of laughter that felt grating against his eardrums. He wasn’t used to that sound, nor was he used to being around so many people. 

“Coming from the man who’s girlfriend holds him by the hood of his jacket when he’s too excited, I don’t think he has much room to talk,” she countered. Leaning forward to meet him, she brushed her lips against his. There was just the faintest taste of strawberry balm faded away after hours of wear and tear. 

“I don’t want to think about whatever those idiots are doing,” he corrected her train of thought on the spot. He lifted his hand to brush against the edge of her short curls. She was often ashamed of them, and looked away whenever eyes would linger on her for too long. 

She couldn’t hide anymore. 

Something that she’d long done even before he’d known her the way that he had. It seemed ridiculous that one of the worries that she had while they were kept apart was that he’d be disinterested in her because she hacked her hair away in the midst of a breakdown. 

It was just hair, but, he understood that to Lila, it was a part of her identity. It was something that helped her feel tangible, real, and alive. It wasn’t petty, or some stupid thing like that. 

Taking that away had been a self-punishment. Just as he had done to himself by clawing at his arms when he found himself in a trance of anger or a memory that would not go away. They both had a lot to work on and see through, but even if they were... a mess, at least they were a mess together. 

“Oh?” she asked. “What were you thinking of, then?

The glimmer in her eyes sparkled with something dangerously unspoken. She was daring him to try something. Saeran would give her credit for one thing, she was incorrigible and no matter what happened or how tired she was, that part of her personality stayed the same. 

He opened his mouth to respond but the heavy door lock from the the other side of the room clattered open as if someone had kicked it. He took one look in the direction and narrowed his eyes, already exasperated by what he saw. 

His idiot brother carrying Judas without a care in the world as Minji chatted to him as if that was something normal to do with your partner(s) only to call out when they made eye contact. “Don’t worry, kids, we’re home—!” 

Of course, Saeyoung probably didn’t expect to see Saeran or Lila that close to each other and he literally dropped Judas with open hands as he pressed those hands to his mouth, “Oh my God, we interrupted their date night! Quick, abort mission, we need to go back outside!” 

Judas hit the floor with a thud, and gasped, glaring at the redhead as he hit his leg hard. “You asshole, you dropped the baby!” 

Saeyoung snapped his head back down and cocked his head, “When did we get a baby?” 

“I’m the baby!” he growled, his blue eyes narrowed. “If you want to cart me around like a rag doll, the least you could do is treat me with some respect and care, I am a delight! I am your boyfriend! I am the best thing you have apart from Minji!” 

Minji had hobbled over next to him, but not to help him, she was too busy laughing. She couldn’t stop laughing, to be specific, she clutched at her sides and wheezed, unable to believe her boyfriends were doing this right now once again. Knowing them, this happened seven times already. 

“This house is a fucking nightmare,” he grumbled. 

“At least, they forget about us this time,” Lila supplied with a reassuring smile, meant to make him feel somewhat better. He wouldn’t lie and say that he it did nothing, because it did at least remind him that someone knew that this mess was not normal. 

He wasn’t in the mood to stick around this time. 

“You wanna head out and get some ice cream until they collect themselves?” 

“You read my mind.”

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I have all these headcanons about what GE Saeran can do after he escapes Mint Eye. I particularly want him to see lots of disney childhood movies as well as Ghibli movies. I feel like he would love them. AndI want him to rediscover his childhood. And not only through movies but also through sweets. There are so many sweets I want to eat with him and make with him. Do you also have any headcanons on what sort of things Lila and Saeran can do together? How about Saeran and Saeyoung? I want to make him 18 birthcakes for each birthday he went without one. Each will be a different flavor. But go big or go home right?

God knows that I’ve thought about this a hundred times. I’ve got so many things that I’ve considered that I haven’t even had the time to think about everything I’d like to see. I did talk about some of the things that I wanted in the AE, but this is beyond that. I’ve also gone over it in discussing what Saeran himself wants to be able to do! 

He’s got a lot of freedom now. He’s overwhelmed with the amount of freedom that he has and it’s going to hard for him to try new things at first. He’ll have to start small instead of going big. It’s better for his anxiety and worries, even if he thinks that he’s okay, the pain and grief that lingers on him is going to take a lot longer than a day to go away. 

So, it would be likely for him to work on accepting that he can pick what he wants to do. He’s going to spend a lot of time asking his MC what they want to do because he’s used to someone pushing him around. It would be important for them to take him by the hand and insist that he pick. That’s important to his path of recovery. 

Like, for example, I’ll use Lila as the MC in question just because that’s how I love to do it but imagine yourself or your MC if you want. She would love to be able to help him try new things. Like, he’s got a lot of hobbies that he might want to explore. He’s a creative type, she might extend to him some drawing lessons and some painting tutorials. She is a painter, you know, even though she doesn’t talk about it often. She knows that he loves the expression and he made his own emojis as well as designing the chatroom from the bottom up to copy Seven. It was no easy feat. 

I mostly just want to imagine her poking fun at him to see if he can sit still long enough for her to draw. He’d get his revenge by making her do the same for him. It’s not a thing that either of them rushes to do to get better, it’s about having fun and doing something together. 

She loves video games! I always see her introducing him to Animal Crossing so he can make his own town and explore that. She thinks that it would be fun for him to play around like that. Because it’s easy to pick up and put down when you need something to do. I imagine he’s also a nut for puzzle games so there’s a lot of potential in playing those as well. 

There’s so much baking in this house. I actually want Saeran to be able to do that with others in the RFA as well, Jumin and Jaehee in particular. But, I’d be pressed to admit that I find it cute when he gets serious in the kitchen and Lila just has to stare at him because she’s not seen him mean business since Suit Saeran was around. She likes that he’s more confident. She’ll get him back for being a bit a brat by slathering his face in the batter. Don’t worry, she gets a kiss as punishment. 

Movie nights! Cuddling! Picnics! Beach trips! Ice cream! Don’t get me started cause I won’t shut up. 

With Saeyoung, I could also go on about that forever given the fact that there is a lot the boys can do. They need to learn who they are together again and who they are apart because they’re different from the children that they used to be in the past. I imagine the first birthday that they get to have together is rather... ah, emotional. I think Lila will take it a bit too serious, and the others will have to deal with a very determined and forward girl who has never been this brazen but her BOYS DESERVE THE BEST. 

Does that mean all the sweets you can think of? Does that mean she’s been up for 36 hours working on decorating and making sure that all the details are in their place? Yes. She’ll sleep when she’s dead. Don’t worry about it, the guys look stunned and happy. The RFA coming together for all of them and letting them know that they’re both free and that they have a family that cares about them and wants to be there for them. 

I imagine the boys spend a lot of time trying to talk. It’s always... awkward, though, given that they both meet dead-ends. I imagine if they’re working on something together then it’s easy to talk, be it in the kitchen or because Saeyoung wants input on another robot that he’s making for fun because he has too much free time on his hands. 

Just imagine them laughing and actually talking without any problems from the doorway. Have you? I have. Lila has seen it, she walks away because she’s gonna cry. 

Like, I’m open to many fluffy scenarios and I CAN’T ANSWER IT ALL HERE.

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Petunia

Assistant Lila AU!

Link: AO3

Pairing: Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s)

Description: Unknown always wanted to have his own assistant. One that is bathed in wisteria and petunias, covering their throat until they suffocate or give in. There are some things that he can’t do by showing his face and that’s where someone who was very much his equal in sense of the word would be able to help him achieve the goals of Paradise. He’s got his eyes set on somebody and surely, with her, the success of Mint Eye is ensured.

Based on the Prologue’s Bad Ending. A standalone fic that can read without reading any of the other stories in the series.

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight (NEW! Final Chapter!)

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Happy Birthday Choi Boys!

“Don’t you think they’re starting to suspect that something is up?” 

“Honestly, Lila, you’re overthinking. I doubt either of them has any clue or idea of what we’re up to. Saeyoung would have already gone and alluded to the fact that he knew something was up if he knew. He’s not really slick when it comes to stuff like this.” 

“Minji’s right, darling.” Judas rested a hand against Lila’s shoulder to comfort her woes. “You’re worried over nothing.” 

She had been the one most concerned when Minji and Judas raised the idea to her and the rest of the RFA as a big event. It hadn’t seemed like a good idea in her opinion but after everyone had reassured her that it would be a great way to help the brothers think better of their lives from now on. 

They did deserve to have a good birthday for once, after all. This was the first time that they were together to celebrate their birthday in such a long time. They hadn’t even been able to celebrate it when they were children. 

It was a constant reminder that their existence was a bad thing to their parents and how their existence was nothing but a burden. That couldn’t have been further from the truth of reality, however, but they very likely still believed that notion. 

Which was why Minji and Judas decided that they should have a surprise party for them! The other RFA members had been jazzed with the idea, and even Vanderwood would more or less on board for the turn of events. While that sounded like a good idea and anyone would have normally loved to do something big for their partner—

This was odd, for Lila, personally. 

It had been weeks past it the year prior when Mint Eye had been taken down, and when Saeran and Lila were brought to safety. Recovery was going to take a while but compared to the last year, things were much different now. Thinking about it now, it felt like the world had been spun on its head for well, forever. 

It had been three years since she had first met Ray… no, no, Ray was hardly around anymore. She had enough to think about right now. The thought of him made her feel teary-eyed even now. Three years since she had been pulled into Mint Eye and a year since she and Unknown had coerced Minji into going to the apartment. 

She was far from the person that she used to be. 

Her world revolved around Saeran, though, and as long as she had known him, she knew one thing for certain. He did not like surprises. He liked to know what was happening because he did not have a say in his life at all back at that place. She hadn’t either, but he had long gone through that. It didn’t just start at that place. It started in his childhood when he was bound and trapped in a tiny room with no windows like a caged bird. 

She never dared surprise him. 

God, she had done that once to Ray and he had bawled into her arms for hours about how he did not deserve something like that. 

She learned to always ask him before she did anything and ask consent for everything for his comfort. She continued to do the same with the persecutor Saeran, eventually who she knew to be Unknown, and now just… 

Just Saeran. 

It has been so crucial that they communicate in such a way. He would lash out or get lost in a set of thoughts and memories that he couldn’t easily get out of. 

It had grown to a point where she could just tell what he needed from looking at him, or from the way he clutched at her wrist. It was how they became so powerful in the first place. Being able to just know what the other wanted from the smallest detail. 

Unknown and Wisteria, they had only needed to look at each other to know what they needed to do, and then it would happen.  Granted, those specific things had been less than grand but the sentiment still stood. She wanted to always ask him before she did anything sudden and he would do the same for her these days. 

Saeran had realized that he had hurt her long ago, and still held a lot of guilt that she was manipulated so he would obey the Savior. That was in the past, now, she tried to remind herself as Minji and Judas chatted with the rest of the RFA over text. 

She wasn’t Wisteria. 

She was Lila again. 

She was living with Saeran and his brother, alongside Minji and Judas. 

They were not in Mint Eye and they were working on doing something normal. She wasn’t a bratty princess trying to protect her loved one, she was just Lila, a girl in love with her boyfriend. She dug her nails into the pad of her palms and smiled at the pair. 

This wouldn’t hurt Saeran, she thought. Saeran would realize that they had so many people that cared about them now. If he got overwhelmed she would protect him. She was so desperate to see him smile again that she was willing to work on herself some more again. 

Building a relationship with the RFA from scratch after such a long time and after all of the things that she and Saeran did—

She could do it, yeah. She would do it. It was a matter of baby steps in the first direction, after all, that was what they had to do. This year was the first step in reclaiming her life with Saeran and it would start with celebrating their birthday. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “You’re right. I want to make sure that we make this about Saeran too and no offense, you guys just don’t know his taste.” 

Minji laughed. She pulled Lila into a hug and waited until the girl softened in her grasp. “Yeah, that’s right. I don’t know what he likes to be honest with you. He’s given me a few hints when we’ve made dinner but I’m still stumped. You’re a saint, Lila. This would be a lot harder without you here to help us out. I’m glad you’re with us.” 

Lila’s cheeks began to burn hotly. She didn’t know how to respond to something like that. 

She had never been all that great at compliments or having friends so having Minji around was also sort of a new experience. She felt guilty for dragging her into this life but Minji always made no qualms or complaints about it. 

Lila was grateful. 

She knew that Saeran was too, even if he doesn’t say it often. 

“Oh… thank you.” she murmured. 

“Ladies, ladies,” Judas broke their little love fest with a cough. “We only have a few days to put this all together so we need to focus. Now, I’ve made a game plan with the others so we need to go over this list and ensure that everything is taken care of. Minji, you’re going to be helping Jaehee with the baking, I know you’re both great at that.” 

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

“Alright, so, I think it would look the best if you hung that right over—”

Yoosung glanced back over his shoulder at Minji as he adjusted where he was holding the streamer against the wall, “Here?” he asked. 

“Yeah! Exactly, that’s perfect Yoosung,” Minji said. 

She rubbed her hands together and nodded, taking a good look at the setup that they had put together in such a short amount of time. Yoosung had been a really big help and Zen had been as well. They had offered to help her and Vanderwood set things up while Judas and Lila kept the boys distracted and out of the bunker for a day. 

It was working smoothly. 

"Oops." 

"Oops?! If I didn't catch you, you would have cracked your head open!" 

"...They don't pay me enough for this."

"Vanderwood, you're getting paid?" 

"..."

Well, almost. 

Minji glanced over her shoulder to see where Yoosung had fallen from his stoop only to be caught by Zen. She sighed at the sight of them and gestured at Vanderwood to take the lead so that she could finish the cake. She didn't have Saeran to help her out. They often cooked together and it was perfect with his incredibly steady hands but he couldn't make his cake! 

This was going to work out or she was going to pull her hair out. Tucking her curls back into a ponytail, she glanced at the cooling rack and felt relief when the layers were cool to the touch. 

Now, she could pull out her buttercream and start working on building this thing for real with just a few hours to spare. She was going for a mesh of what they both liked here, rustic elements, flowers, and constellations iced in the sides while she pinned the molded flowers she made with Lila the night prior to save time. 

Things were going… as well as they could be. 

As long as the boys didn’t destroy anything, it would be fine. 

Perhaps, they were going a little bit overboard but why shouldn’t they? This was the brothers they were talking about, and they deserved to have a really good day. Minji could not imagine what it was like to live through such pain in your life. When she was growing up, her parents were good to her and they were good to her little sibling. 

She grew up, no worries, she may not have gotten what she wanted all the time, but she had all the love and warmth that she could have ever wanted. 

Minji knew love and support, that was why she was so cheerful with others. She wanted to see the bright side and she wanted to help others find it. It was a simple dream, but a dream nonetheless and for Saeyoung, she would do anything and everything to ensure it. She could remember the moment she realizes she was falling for him. 

His laugh. 

His indomitable laugh on the phone when they spoke into the late hours of the night had been when she realized it was too late for her not to fall for him. He made her smile and she could tell that he was smiling through the phone when they talked. 

Judas had been her rock when Saeyoung tried to push them away. He held her hand and supported her feelings. He had been there from the start, pushing for her to take a chance on the redhead even though she knew that he felt the same way about him. Judas was selfless. That was why she cared about him as well through it. 

But, Minji knew that Judas was a good guy. 

He had saved her all those months prior when she almost was taken. She had loved those blue eyes of his from that moment onward. It just didn’t click until they were in tight quarters, trying to cope and learn how to get Saeyoung to open up to them. 

Even now, when she thought about how fast she found herself falling for that man, it was a little unbelievable but love was love. It could happen slowly or it could happen all at once. She was happy with her choices and basking it in. She had an even bigger family now and it had just as much warmth that she could feed into it. 

Spending her days with Judas and Saeyoung… even Saeran and Lila. The rest of the RFA as well and all was right in the world. Nobody was struggling anymore, and everyone was in a better space. Zen’s career had really taken off, Yoosung was doing better in school, Jumin had found himself a new assistant and even Vanderwood was around more often. 

She and Jaehee had taken up a business together, so that was where she spent a good chunk of her day. She would always be baking and come home smelling of sweetness. The boys would oftentimes come to visit during the day for a snack. It was usually just an excuse to watch Minji work or to steal a kiss before the other kid. 

Friendly competition from the boys was nothing new. 

Saeran would come by and help bake sometimes, as well. His company was well-enjoyed. He was doing better, and Minji was glad that he felt comfortable. He and Lila both were a little… skittish around Minji at times. She knew that they felt guilty for their actions in the past but she knew that it was not entirely their fault, and she had forgiven them. 

Why be angry when they had been manipulated and hurt? 

Minji wanted to keep living her life, and to do that, she smiled and helped everyone come together instead of fall apart. 

All and all, a far cry from living in an apartment with a bomb in it last year to where she was at this very moment. She smiled, pastry bag in hand as she glanced into the other room to see Vanderwood going at Yoosung and Zen for making a mess. She held back the laugh that tickled at the back of her throat and looked back down at her task. 

“It’s a never dull moment,” she said. 

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

“Darling, look at me,” Judas purred. “Look at you, you’re red in the face. You aren’t warm now, are you? I’d hate to think that you’re getting sick on your birthday… unless you want me to play nurse for you! I happen to have a skirt just for this occasion.” 

He had Saeyoung’s face in his hands as he fawned over him with such glee. There was nowhere for the redhead to go and he could only have eyes for Judas right at that moment. Saeyoung felt his heart begin to speed up. 

He raised a hand to brush against the one that was cupping his cheeks and held it firmer in place. “You know I like to play the nurse,” Saeyoung countered, voice as cool as he could muster. “I look far better in that skirt.”

“Oh? But, darling, it’s your birthday. Should I get to dote on you?” Judas replied, “I think you’ve earned the option to be spoiled.” 

“That’s not how this game works for us,” Saeyoung quickly told him. There was a burning tinge on his cheeks that he couldn’t hide. It nearly rivaled his hair shade. “You know better than to start something like that!” 

He was never all that great at being able to hide what he was really feeling from Judas. Even when they were first getting to know each other all those months ago, Judas knew how to pry under his mask and pull out a glimmer of the real Saeyoung underneath. Be it from how he was used to pulling intel out of people or the fact that he had a hard time not getting overly invested in others—

What it was, Saeyoung thought, he could at least do without the teasing. 

“Oh, I’ll finish it, darling. that’s—”

“Disgusting.” Saeran finished. 

His brow was set into a line. Those two had been going at it for some time and right in front of his ice cream! Lila couldn’t hide the little laugh that escaped her lips. She reached over and pressed her hand to his cheek to direct his attention back in her direction. “Hey, don’t mind them, I’m here with you, after all.” 

“I wish that were the only option.” 

“Saeran!” Saeyoung whined, his hand on his hip as he watched as his brother rolled his eyes at him. Only taking a harder bite out of the Popsicle in his maw. “C’mon, you have to be a little nice today, after all, it’s our day!” 

“Tch,” he didn’t respond. 

Judas pat Saeyoung’s shoulder out of sympathy. “There, there. What makes him happy is different from what makes you happy.”

Judas could remember the first moment that he spent with this man and how fun it had been. He had been trying to flirt with him and then Saeyoung flat out shut him down with the reddest cheeks that he had ever seen. It was clear to him that he liked it, but he needed some time to sort out of those of his to know what he could be excited by someone flirting with him. 

He should have known that he would fall hard for someone with golden eyes and a mischievous smile on his lips. 

It had been months since that time. 

A year could really change you. 

He wasn’t living the way he used to be, either, to be fair about things. He didn’t have his super cushy apartment but he did gain something that he didn’t have. A family. He had his own little family with Saeyoung, Minji, Saeran, and Lila. He hadn’t had a family in such a long time so he was sort of happy to have it. 

His first one hadn’t been so great. 

But, this one? 

This one was everything that he wanted and more. 

Who would have thought that an informant that clawed his way to the top to take down everybody that had ever crossed him would be able to live without eyes and a target on his back? He certainly didn’t think one year ago that he would be spending a day out like this with one of his partners just shopping. 

He never thought that he would be able to let himself fall in love ever again, but as they say, a hopeless romantic will fall hard over and over again when things are right. Judas was just happy that both Minji and Saeyoung were absolute sweethearts. He just kept falling into their arms and sighing in a contented way. 

Some may call him a drama queen, but he would gladly take that title because showing those that he loved them with the strongest acts was simply his love language. 

He leaned over and took a bite out of what little ice cream that was in Saeyoung’s hands, having already finished his own piece and wanting a taste of something strawberry and his boyfriend’s lips instead. His boyfriend stuttered and pouted at his actions, but he paid that no mind. 

“Just like getting a secondhand kiss is what makes me happy,” Judas said. 

Saeyoung just stared at him for a moment before he recanted his blush and leaned over to kiss Judas instead. Which left the raven-haired man with his own crimson cheeks. He returned the kiss and paid the reaction no mind. This was normal for them. A game of cat and mouse where one would push the other and see how far it could go.

Even when they were in public. 

Even when Saeran was clearly irritated with both of them. 

He had nothing to worry about though, Lila would always do them a solid and get him to focus on her instead. 

“You shouldn’t rile me up this early,” Saeyoung warned him in a low voice against his lips. “You don’t know what you’re playing with.” 

“Fire,” Judas responded. “I love playing with fire. You know that I would gladly walk right into your bright flames to get a taste. Now, that was just a taste of your birthday present, okay? You don’t get anything else until we’re with Minji!” 

✿✿✿✿✿✿✿✿

“Surprise!” 

Saeyoung stared at the scene in front of him with surprise in his eyes. 

He knew that they were planning something but he never suspected that they would go through a party. Everyone was here, and they were here for his sake, for his brother’s sake. He was overjoyed to feel as though his family was finally together once again. 

This was all that he ever wanted. 

A family. 

He couldn’t help but look at Saeran to see how he was reacting to this. He had said that he couldn’t care less about celebrating. Saeyoung understood that. He still didn’t want him to feel left out when it was his day too. His way of being happy was just as important. His fingers were shaking just a bit at his side but Lila grasped them tightly. 

She gave him a nudge and he looked at her, and she smiled. 

“I know you said you weren’t big on celebrations, I’m not either, but… you deserve to have at least one party somewhere in there,” she said, quietly. “We don’t have to stay long, okay? If you’re overwhelmed we can come back in a bit.”

He slowly but surely shook his head. “You were in on this, too, weren’t you?” 

She smiled, a bit sheepishly. Lila had been caught red-handed. Saeyoung didn’t expect her to be involved since she knew how much Saeran didn’t want a party but… it was good to see that she was trying to help him. 

“...Thank you,” he mumbled. “I guess, since you went to the trouble, I might as hell stay for a little while.” 

Saeyoung took the time to chuck his arms around Saeran’s shoulders and clap him on the back for his attitude. Saeran didn’t try to shrug him away so that was a good sign. “That’s the spirit, baby brother! I knew you would come around.” 

That was a sign that made him want to cry. Saeran had come such a far way since last year, and so had he. He knew it just from looking at the faces of each and every person in that room. From Yoosung, to Zen, to Jaehee, to Jumin, to Minji, to Judas, to Saeran, to Lila, and hell, even to Vanderwood. That one was a surprise. 

His little family had grown exponentially. To think that he had been alone for such a long time and now, he had all of these people with him that loved him. 

It felt… unbelievable. 

But, this was everything and it was perfect. 

If he could have one wish, it would mean nothing, as he already everything that he wanted. When he looked at his loved ones, he knew, this was everything that he always wanted. 

He couldn’t stop the smile that was on his face, not even as he let go of his brother and allowed Minji to throw her arms around him with a sweet laugh in his ears. This was, a happy birthday, and he would hope that the rest to come would be just as good.

[marshmallowprotection]

Wedding HC (1)

Obviously, I need to write down the blurbs and elaborate on the vision in my head so I'll add a part 2 tomorrow and reblog this. But, I really love finding looks and outfits that match the feeling of everything so... here's the first half with the looks I've compiled. The feels and the aesethic will come tomorrow when my brain is back to functioning.

SaeLila

Poly Trio

[marshmallowprotection]

How would the choi household (your ocs and the twins, maybe Vanderwood if you hc that) react if they watched the Steven universe movie without knowing ahead of time what was going to happen? Some of them had gotten into the show so they were all watching it, but then they saw there was a movie and they jumped in. Specifically wondering how Saeran would handle Spinels situation, and what everyone else would do to help (or try)?

Lila is really the only one in that house that consistently watches cartoons no matter what they are and she sort of roped Seven into doing that because he was the most willing to sit around and watch with her for the most part, literally no matter what it is because that’s their friendship. 

That’s just one of those things that they use to bond, but eventually, she wraps Saeran into it as well because he can’t say no to those big puppy dog eyes and honestly, he is curious why she’s invested, and if she’s wrapped his brother into it then it must be interesting. 

Minji mainly watches a lot of cheesy rom-coms but she’s not going to not join in when people are sprawled on the couch like that and not find out what the hub-bub s about. Judas isn’t going to not to cram himself into a cuddle party when he sees one. Vanderwood pops by every now and again so it isn’t really a stretch to think that they’re there sometimes. 

I think if it’s something that Lila puts merit in, Saeran would want to know more from the start. She paints a pretty picture of a story about learning to grow and move beyond past trauma as well as continuing to try and find your place in the world when you were given a purpose only to find freedom instead along the way. I sort of feel like he would enjoy the arcs of Lapis and Jasper the most as they spend a good chunk of the story learning from things that they couldn’t control and finding a sense of purpose. 

Spinel would be another thing entirely because he would be reminded of how he was always looking towards V and towards Rika and mainly towards Saeyoung for that matter. It’s mostly a reminder of his brother and how he left one day and made a new life for himself seemingly and never looked back. He’s come a long way from hating his brother but this would bring back those old memories and sit uncomfortably with him. 

I think towards the end of the film, Drift Away would probably break him in more ways than one. The tipping point and climax for Spinel are what really shakes him up a lot. Spinel was left behind, and however, a complicated figure that Pink Diamond is, she had her reasons for doing that but... Saeran can’t help but really relate to Spinel’s grief. He was there... waiting for his brother to come back and he never did. 

Years and years of it. 

He wouldn’t say anything, but Lila would notice the way that he became tense and more and more pulled into the story itself, noting that his hands were just a bit tighter in her grasps. It wouldn’t click until the end, and Saeran wouldn’t have even noticed it, but a few tears might have escaped him. Seeing an arc play out that more or less paralleled his own circumstances? 

Seeing it work out? 

Not perfect, not fixed, but... on the path to healing? Because someone had faith in Spinel and continued to reach out and get her a chance to grow and become a better person not for the sake of others but for herself and her wounded heart on the inside. How can he not think about his own life? How can he not think of Lila and how she helped him get a damn grip on himself? 

She would frown, “Saeran, are you okay?” 

“...S’nothing,” he muttered. 

It would likely put him into a bittersweet headspace. I think Saeyoung would understand what was up just because he’s always in tune and watching his brother. It would likely turn into one of those nights where both of them really need to talk again. They don’t really talk about it anymore, it’s more or less, water in the wind. But, it’s not like they can do that to heal fully or anything. 

Saeran tries to wall himself off when he gets like this but Lila would not let him get out of that room when she knows he’s upset. But, she’s not going to force him to stay if he’s going to have an episode. It would linger for a few days and everyone would take turns trying to cheer him up. 

Lila is always by his side so she makes sure that he’s doing what he needs to do. Minji spends time baking with Saeran and they try out a few new recipes together and it’s just nice to settle into that. Judas is always there to insist that Saeran practice some self-care, this man begrudgingly letting Judas paw at his nails to make him shut up. Vanderwood doesn’t bother Saeran, but if he wants to go and destroy some stuff, Vandy has him covered. 

Saeyoung would give his brother some space but after everyone spent some time with him, he would find his brother sitting outside underneath the afternoon sun, only to sit down next to him and offer him some ice cream like they used to do when they were kids. 

“...I never wanted to leave you behind,” Saeyoung says, quietly. “I know that’s what you’re upset about.”

“I know,” Saeran says, simply. “I just... I can’t turn off the way that I feel even if I know it’s not right.” 

“I... yeah, I get it, that’s why I wanted to give you some space in case it was bad this time,” he replied, looking down at his lap. “I hope you know that I love you, Saeran, you’re my brother and I’m never going to leave you behind. Not again. Not anymore.”

Saeran would be quiet, and they would take some more about it but he doesn’t like to get sappy for long periods of time. He would scowl and shake his worry of but deep down when nobody’s looking, he would have a small smile because he remembers that he has a family that cares about him, and his life isn’t in that bad space anymore. 

This reminder was a good thing, even if it hurt. 

“Tch... shut up, you don’t have to get all emotional. I’m fine.” 

“I know, Saeran. I know.”