#sadnessruns:001

[owedfavors]

there's a philosophical discussion to be had here — the path of which una does not intend to take them down. ( what, after all, is the moral distinction between initiating and allowing? ) instead, she merely suggests, ❛ and if they are merely getting their space legs under them, doesn't it seem like you should be helping, rather than deriving amusement from their efforts? ❜

“That’s exactly it.” Erica knew she was probably in for a lecture, it was part of being the ship’s jokester. She looked back to the console and tapped in a few commands, turning the ship a few degrees and then looking back to Una. “It’s not like I try to cause or provoke anything. Most of the time they’re just getting their space legs under them.”

[galaxyraised]

STARTER CALL   ⇾   @sadnessruns​.   

throat clears loudly as she comes to a stop behind him,   “hey,  mushroom boy.  didn’t anyone ever tell you not to touch shit that doesn’t belong to you?”

[crimsonsunsets]

@sadnessruns​ asked: ❛ i hate what i’ve become. ❜ (hologram stamets @ hologram pike perhaps ! )

Time creeps by when he is awake. There are no sights to explore, no people for him to talk, only gawkers and the same walls that had greeted him when he was created. Christopher Pike had been a man who appreciated the same sunrise everyday for eighteen years when he was growing up and when he left for the stars, longed for the familiar sight of home during his quiet moments. It was all gone now, protons held him up these days, not the promise of a new adventure. 

“Can we really hate?” Head tilts to the side, thoughtful. He feels trapped in this glass house. No emotion has felt real since he last saw Spock; not what he felt on Talos, and nothing he has felt since this version of him was created. “I feel... nothing.”

short angst starters • accepting

[storiescrafted-a]

@sadnessruns​:  liz & lucas.

“i’m sorry,”   she begins,  one son in her arms,  the other at her side as they stand outside lucas and david’s place.  she’s holding herself together as best as she’s able   (   but being around lucas makes it so much easier to let herself fall apart   ).   “i should’ve called first but,  uh,  i was hoping the boys could spend time with huck and i could get some lucas time?”   she bites her lip,  voice breaking as she looks at him with tears in her eyes,   “it’s just not a good day,”

[cptnbatel]

marie does not argue further as she falls into step half a stride behind, little though she likes to prove a burden by derailing a near stranger's time off. ultimately, it's not marie's choice to make, and she had offered the lieutenant an out. besides, the last thing she needs is to sit alone on a ship that is not her own, surrounded by a crew that does not know her — not personally, at least. ❛ that is assuming he loses interest in his paperwork. ❜ her humor is earnest, if dry. there is no bite, either, to her tone as she adds, ❛ eavesdropping is generally considered rude. ❜

"Hey, I don't mind keeping you company." Her eyebrows raised a bit at Batel's suggestion, smiling a bit at her. "Pretty sure most everyone else is still on shift anyway." Erica turned to look at Batel, humming softly. She started out of the transporter room, turning down the hallway with the practiced ease of the familiar halls. "You know, I overheard the captain talking to M'Benga, sounds like he has something delicious planned for you tonight. He always goes all out for special guests."

[pathlit]

❛ consider, mister stamets, all that will happen between this moment and tomorrow afternoon. ❜ even the wide vastness of space, a pain to traverse by any normal means of propulsion, did not slow their lives. it did not stay the forward march of war, nor keep sheltered those on the crux of battle beyond any help of reach.

any help besides discovery, that was.

❛ do you want those lives on your hands? ❜

He huffed as he pushed himself up, sitting against the wall. Weary eyes closed for a moment, breathing still heavy. One eye open, he looked up at Lorca. Overnight wasn't enough time to recover, his stamina was being pushed to the edge. He was tired, gods, was he tired. There was no choice or even an illusion of choice in being useful. Maybe this was a mistake. "Tomorrow afternoon." He could at least try to negotiate, but he doubted he could.

[owedfavors]

❛ I cannot condone using the ensigns for your own entertainment, lieutenant. ❜ a neutral statement, carrying no bite. it lingers, elusive, between seriousness and humor, nature uncertain. una, however, is fully aware of the irony. lieutenant spock is not the only member of the crew who could tell stories about his first day. erica ortegas herself had been fortunate that her disposition made her a poor match for una's usual style of evaluation.

She laughed at Una’s response, head tilting to the side a bit. “For what it’s worth, even if I did tell them, you’d scare them straight very quickly.” Brown eyes flicked up and down, watching Una for a reaction, though she knew all of Una’s reactions were highly calculated from being around her so much. “It’s funnier to watch them run away from you with their tails between their legs.”

[owedfavors]

❛ I see... you intend to argue that if you merely take advantage of what already is, and therefore cannot be held accountable. do I understand correctly? ❜ una's tone betrays nothing, as so often it does. the words might carry judgment or amusement and none would ever know the difference.

False and playful shock ran over Erica’s face. “Why Commander that would make me a bad officer!” She gasped dramatically as if she was in a corny historical drama movie upon finding out about a scandal. “I don’t use them for my own entertainment, they just so happen to be very entertaining.”

[owedfavors]

she does know her, for better or worse. ortegas had proven one of those people who made her stamp upon the ship swiftly, in a way that to una, who shaped things so subtly that no one realized she was doing it, was nearly dizzying. her eyebrow quirks, and she remarks wryly, ❛ telling them not to fear me would be being a bad influence. ❜

not only because it would be a deliberate undermining of the ship’s executive officer, but also because it would set the ensigns up for a host of trouble when they ran afoul of her in earnest.

“Telling ensigns things? Oh, you know me, I’m only a bad influence,” Erica smirked as she spoke, looking at Una with mischievously sparkling eyes. She looked back down to the console for a moment, making sure the ship was still flying as it was supposed to have been, which of course it still was, she wasn’t a bad pilot after all. “I never tell them anything.”

[owedfavors]

once, una would never have permitted this, idle conversation while on the bridge. once, she had veered too hard towards insisting upon strict professionalism from all. the years have softened her, taught her the meaning of balance, and now, when there is truly nothing to do but hold their course steady, so long as their jobs are done no less diligently, she offers no complaint.

she does not laugh, for all one threatens to bubble up in her throat. ❛ just don't tell the ensigns. ❜

“Well, you are.” Erica flashed her signature smile at Una, knowing it was a comfort to most crew members to see someone so light-hearted about the bridge. She tilted her head a bit, eyes flicking down to her station to make sure everything was okay before back to Una, a habit of the job. “You seem scary, but that’s only if you’re an ensign or if someone is on your bad side. Thankfully for me, I am neither of those.”

[cptnbatel]

there are certainly worse options than taking out his emotions on paperwork, but marie finds herself torn between the thought that perhaps she ought to intervene and the desire to leave him to his own devices, to buy them both time. ❛ well, it wouldn't be fair to make you take the fall for failing to delay me, but it's also not fair to make you entertain me. ❜ especially in her off hours when the lieutenant ought to be free to spend her time as she sees fit.

❛ so, I will mosey my way to captain pike's ready room by way of your port galley, and make sure to take my time. but you are not obligated to keep me company. ❜

"He..." A breath in and a breath out, Erica sighed softly. "Maybe a little bit." It wasn't her fault the captain was so up to his ass in work, he did that to himself. She did, however, feel bad about having to divert Batel like this. "It wasn't my idea, he just is in one of those moods. Gods know he won't tell any of us about it. Taking out his anger or whatever it is on paperwork is better than other options though."

[owedfavors]

her eyebrow quirks as she glances in the lieutenant's direction. una's expression carries no suspicion, but an edge of humor plays about the corner of her lips. ❛ good company is not a description usually attributed to me. ❜ she can think of half a dozen other descriptions — those that would be offered by ensigns she terrified with her relentlessly high expectations, by department heads whose demands for resources she had summarily dismissed and refused to take to the captain. then again, the bridge crew knew her better than most, admittedly.

“I suppose so.” She shifted in her seat, knowing Pike trusted her, and by extension, Una probably did as well. Thinking back on the old XO, he realized that Una, as usual, made a good point. The old XO she had been thinking of had previously been a science officer, and probably only had basic pilot training. “As far as it goes with you sitting here, I can’t complain. You’re good company.”

[cptnbatel]

❛ I'm getting the feeling the favor wasn't please bring her to my ready room so much as it was please delay her as long as possible. ❜ of course, he could have just told her if she had arrived at a bad time. she would have delayed; it was not as though she was lacking in business of her own to attend to. ( it was not as though either of them were ever lacking in work to attend to. ) outwardly, she chooses to find humor in it, words accompanied by a smile that fades into a captain's sternness as she adds, ❛ you can tell it to me straight, lieutenant. ❜

"Well, I wouldn't call this a wagon since a wagon usually is more than one person," Erica lit up with a smile as she spoke, raising her eyebrows at Batel. "And I just got off shift and he asked for it as a favor." A favor between friends, it was never a bad thing, especially when it came to personal and private things. Plus, Erica was friendly and very discrete when she needed to be, never a bad person to have on the crew. "Must've been a long trip, I know he's probably making you something delicious but we could stop by the bar for a drink before if you want. You know how he gets into his work."

[owedfavors]

of all things about which una is usually content to speculate, she often leaves human nature to those more qualified. at this, however, she quirks an eyebrow. ❛ some might see being left alone as a sign that they are trusted. ❜ trusted to do their job without needing supervision, and by extension, una adds to herself, some first officers might consider themselves doing the helmsman a favor.

not that ortegas’s evaluation is not equally, or even more, plausible. ❛ though, people do have a tendency to dismiss, or underestimate and undervalue, what they have not experienced themselves. ❜ a point in ortegas’s favor, power gone to the head and the helm seeming insignificant. una shrugs.

owedfavors​:

a good question,  and for a moment una purses her lips in consideration.  she gives little other  indication that she’s thinking about the question:  fingers still tap intermittently upon the console,  gaze continues to take in the data that flashes there.  nothing important,  not on a quiet day.  nothing that really requires more from her than passing awareness ( which, at this point, is close to a sixth sense ). at least, she shrugs and glances up at their helmsman. ❛ you’re sitting in what used to be my seat. maybe I just got used to sitting at the front of the bridge. ❜ she has spent plenty of time at the helm — of enterprise and of several vessels before her.

she quirks an eyebrow then. ❛ it does not bother you, does it? if it would make you happier, I could go loom ominously over spock’s shoulder for a while. ❜  she glances over her shoulder at the lieutenant as she speaks, and sure enough, he turns to give her a look, eyebrow perfectly raised. she allows herself a momentary smile, then turns her attention back first to erica and then to the console before her.

“I wouldn’t say it bothers me, just on my old ship the XO didn’t even pay me a glance when I was flying the ship,” Erica said, tilting her head slightly as she looked at Una. She respected Una, in fact working with her so regularly made that respect grow, some first officers saw themselves above the rest of the crew, but Una seemed to see herself on equal footing for the most part from how she interacted with Erica. At least, that was what she had hoped, but she knew there was a distinct level of professionalism and rank involved as well. “I guess some XOs just let the power get to their head.”

[ @owedfavors​ ]

[cptnbatel]

there is always something, some looming prospect of concern. captains’ minds are never fully at ease, a reality marie had learned far too swiftly and far too severely. in comparison to the war that had plagued her first year in command, she supposes none of the rest should matter so much.

❛ so he sends me the welcome wagon, ❜ she remarks with an air of humor. ❛ he doesn't remember that I can find my own way around the ship, huh? not that I don’t appreciate it, ❜ — it needs acknowledgment, that enterprise’s helmsman finds herself playing guide, of all things. — ❛ but it's just got to be a bit outside your usual job description. ❜

[ @cptnbatel liked for a starter from Ortegas ]

Erica was not one to be intimidated, in fact, she preferred to be the one intimidating others. She was also more observant than people tended to notice, the constant meetings with the Cayuga within her realm of knowledge. She hummed in the transporter room, rocking on the balls of her feet as Chief Kyle beamed Batel on to their ship. "Mornin' sir, Captain Pike is dealing with some paperwork, so he asked me to escort you to his ready room." Not showing it on her face, the Starfleet face as she liked to put it, Ortegas smiled at Batel.

[pathlit]

❛ doctor culber is welcome to try. ❜ somehow, gabriel does not find the prospect too worrying. though he would not be surprised if the good doctor were to take the next opportunity he could to give gabriel a piece of his mind. in that, he and stamets were well-matched.

more inconvenience than anything else. an annoyance, even. as is the lieutenant's lack of resiliency. ❛ frankly, we don't seem to have much choice. ❜ if the man can scarcely stand, they can scarcely expect him to navigate them through the network. discovery does not need another close encounter with a star. ❛ until tomorrow. ❜ scarcely any leniency, but they're at war, and finally they can do something about it. they did not come this far to sit around on their asses and wait.

[ @pathlit liked for P. Stamets ]

One foot, two foot. Stop. A heavy breath escaped his lips. "You know, Hugh's gonna kill you," Paul huffed, fist pressed against the wall. He was exhausted and overworked. Looking up at the captain, Stamets' notably pale face was far paler than usual. "Can we stop?" He furrowed his brows as he felt his legs collapse under him, face pressed on the cold floor of the ship. "Fuck."