#sad/angsty batcat feels time

[theift]

sad sel starter call

[dayas]

1,3,20 and 25 for the writing ask, I wanna know it all!

First off, I wanna say thank you for giving me this ask because now I have something to think about instead of just being in a sad cloud ❤️ it’s nice to have a little break 💞

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it.

Not to expose myself but I have like 5 WIPS 😂

War Of Hearts (jiara reincarnation au), a not so secret combination Dimya fic (flower shop + mob au), an angsty gotham/the batman (fc wise djdjsjsn) BatCat one shot (selina meeting bruce after he left in a slightly unexpected way), and I’m trying to draft/spin ideas for a POTC Klonnie au (calypso and davy jones’ story). With WOH, I’m filling in the second chapter which is taking FOREVER (sorry y’all), but I’m actually super excited for it to drop! With the work entirely, I definitely love all the little hints and breadcrumbs. It’s gonna start coming together more in the second chapter and I’m super pumped to see what y’all think! I’m on Chapter 1 of the Dimya Fic and searching for my inspiration but I know how it’s gonna go and that makes me happy. I love the combo aspect of the fic and how it’s a mashup, plus there’s some not so subtle underlying themes that I think are cool to explore! With BatCat, I wrote some yesterday! It’s a songfic and I love that about it, but also just the angst and flashbacks included, I think it’ll be really cool! And for the Klonnie fic, I haven’t even started 😭 Someone was basically like ‘write this!’ so I was like ‘okay!’ but I don’t know them that well yet writing wise so I need to explore 😂 tbh it’s just a concept that I really, really love and I have some ideas for the melody that goes along with it. Unsure if it’ll be a multi chap or a realllyyy long one shot once it drops but I’m thrilled either way! The technical “fifth” wip is for everybody who asked me when Kie would find out JJ is Sarah’s bf’s friend so watch out for that 👀 y’all ask, I answer 😂

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

GOD! THIS! Okay okay okay I’ve ALWAYS wanted to write a Jiara break up scene but there’s SO MUCH WORK THAT GOES INTO THAT LIKE THE SET UP AND THEN BUILDING INTO AN EXPLOSION SO here’s a no context, cliche, dramatic af breakup scene for jiara thank you for giving me the freedom to write this 😂

“We need to talk.”

That alone stops what she’s doing. JJ and Kiara don’t usually ‘talk’. They can have serious conversations, but they tend to reserve getting deep for when they’re either really really high, or the issue around them has to be resolved. They’re not in high school anymore, but old habits die hard. Still, she shakes off the pause, drying another dish as she says,

“About?”

“... stuff.”

“Stuff. Real eloquent there, JJ.”

His eyes are practically heating the soapy water up themselves. The kitchen at the Chateau isn’t exactly prime real estate as far as cleanliness goes, but since they’re around here more often than not, Kie decided to make an effort to spruce it up a little bit and dragged JJ into it.

Something’s wrong. He’s fiddling with his rings underneath the water at a faster pace than normal, leaning heavily against the lip of the sink.

“Dude, are you okay?”

Her voice is soft as she dries her hands off, coming up to him and slipping her arms around his chest, cheek pressed into his back. He tenses underneath her, shrugging her off and backing away.

“JJ,” Kiara’s voice is concerned now, “What’s going on?”

“Weneedtobreakup.”

His sentence is a blur that knocks into her, rattling around her brain as it spins like a top. As all tops do, the spinning eventually stops, leaving her with the capacity to space out the miniature word flood that left his mouth a few seconds ago.

We need to break up.

“What?” Kie says, panic creeping into her system, “Why?” She begins to think of what could have gone wrong, what could have prompted this.

“It’s not you, it’s — ”

“If you try to feed me one of your bullshit lines that worked on the ghosts of hookups past, don’t.”

He has the decency to shut up then and there, turning instead to lean back against the cabinets, hands gripping the edge of another counter.

“Is this about what my cousin said?”

A few weeks ago, they’d been invited to a formal family gathering on her mother’s side. Some crazy expensive week in Hawaii. Well, Kiara had been invited, and she brought JJ for two reasons. One, he’s her best friend which legally obligated him to help her out in a spot. Two, they were getting pretty serious (or so she thought), and she couldn’t hide in the OBX forever, so why not kill two birds with one stone? At an extremely over the top event, one of Kie’s drunk cousins approached JJ and started spewing some nonsense. Kiara intervened, of course, but later, she remembers, another one approached. Completely sober. She hadn’t been paying attention to that conversation, occasionally glancing over to make sure JJ wasn’t floundering. He’d been restless the entire night and a few days afterwards. But when they’d come back home, all was well. Or, again, so she’d thought.

She should’ve just chucked the damn stone at herself.

He grimaces, and it’s to her horror that she realizes it’s true.

“What the fuck did she say?”

Her voice is low and dangerous, a tiny sliver of a hint as to what’s hiding behind her eyes.

“Doesn’t matter,” JJ shrugs, eyes everywhere but her.

“Of course it fucking matters, JJ! What did she say?”

“Nothing!”

“That’s a lie.”

“I already told you it doesn’t matter.”

“If it doesn’t matter then just tell me!”

“Fine!”

They are two powder kegs on the verge of an explosion. Kiara lit the spark, jumping the gun to shouting. He followed, and and now they’re at a precipice.

“You really wanna know what she said? Fine. She said that I’ll never be good enough for you, and you know what? She’s right.”

They tilt on the edge, still caught in the middle, unsure of where to fall.

“No. She’s not.” How can he even say that, let alone believe it? Kie isn’t always a fan of the cheesy, but it’s a cold hard fact that the man standing before her is one of the best things in her life.

“She is, Kie. You know she is. You’re not a Kook, but your family... they can give you so much more than I can. Opportunities and shit, the chance to get out of here. What do I have going for me?”

“Everything! You know I don’t want any of that bullshit or the baggage that comes with it — I want you.”

“I’m not gonna be enough. One day you’re gonna look up and realize that you want out of this place. Or I’m gonna look up and realize I turned into my dad.”

A bitter laugh leaves him, slicing them both to ribbons in the process.

“You’re not him, J. You’re not your dad and you never will be your dad.”

“You don’t know that! I don’t know that!”

They step closer at the same time, spark relit on the fuse to destroy them.

“JJ — ”

“No, Kiara. We can’t keep doing this. I’m stuck, and I’m not dragging you down with me.”

“You’re not dragging me down if I want to be here!”

Four more feet and they are two steps away from each other. They’re both tired, oh so tired, yet neither one is willing to give up the fight for their cause. The frustration builds, coiling tightly around them as JJ steps forward and shouts,

“I’m gonna ruin your life!”

“Then ruin it!”

Kie’s scream is passionate, every emotion inside of her escaping in those three words as she steps up to meet him.

“Ruin my life, JJ Maybank. Because I’d rather be in ashes with you than anywhere with anyone else.”

He takes one look at her and the pause between them could stop a train. Then, his head ducks down and his lips crash against hers. She reciprocates, sinking both hands into his hair. He picks her up and she wraps her arms around his waist as he sets her against the counter. Dishes crash onto the floor but neither of them are even remotely half assed to care. His lips attach to her neck and she exhales sharply.

“Stay,” Kiara whispers. And she wishes he did. If she would have been controlling their story, they would have taken this to Big John’s room and the breakup talks would cease. But she put everything in his hands, as he’s making the decision here. So when she tells him to ruin her life, she watches him grapple with himself. For a second, she sees his head tilt ever so slightly forward. He reels himself back in a second later, and the fire in his eyes burns out.

“I’m sorry,” JJ whispers, shaking his head and backing away from her.

“JJ,” Kiara calls after him, “JJ!” She’s immobilized, feet stuck to the floor.

This isn’t happening. This is not happening.

Something inside her breaks and she runs, tearing through the house. He’s already on his bike as she gets to the front porch, and curse him, he looks back. He puts the helmet in his hands on (she bought him that for his birthday — “You’re not getting fucked up on my watch. Put the damn helmet on.”) and drives away.

Kiara doesn’t know what happens next. When her faculties return her knees are scraped up, blood trickling down. She’s still on the porch and her face is wet, cheeks marred by liquid pooling in her eyes. Someone is crying, loudly, like their heart was ripped from their chest. No, she thinks, like someone else’s heart was ripped from their chest, someone the person crying loved. Because if her own heart was ripped out, she would not be able to feel. What Kiara wouldn’t give to not feel a goddamn thing right now.

She calls Sarah. Her friend comes and picks her up, and they go to her place. Kie can’t bear to be in the Chateau or her own room. Sarah’s is devoid of memories, for the most part. She explains what happened through her tears as her friend holds her, gently carding her fingers through her hair comfortingly. They light up, and then get a little tipsy and Kiara doesn’t know if it’s better or for worse. But it’s something. She’s reminded of after the Phantom went down, that night on the beach when she discovered the freedom to be. In this moment, Kiara’s free to be something. Anything. Whatever she wants. But the one thing she wants removed himself from her life, so she settles for being a mess instead. Sarah settles in with her when they’re all worn out, falling asleep quickly. Kiara’s vaguely aware that the person next to her is not who she wants it to be, that this is wrong in the sense that someone else should be here. She’s too cold, unraveled.

“Stay,” she whispers, but this time to herself. If she can stay for tonight, she can stay for tomorrow, and the day after that until she eventually finds her way back to who she is without him in her life. She’s not the same Kiara as she was this morning. She’ll be a different Kiara when she wakes up tomorrow. The Kiara she is wraps her arms around herself to keep whatever’s left from pouring out. She will do what he refused to. When the morning comes, she will face the world. While the moon is out, she is free to dream.

She dreams one last dream of him.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

Okay LOOK 😂 there’s so much I wanna say on this but it would be so spoiler-y BUT for War Of Hearts, do some scanning! There’s a lot to unpack there, some obvious, some not! It becomes more evident in the chapters to come. I wish I could say more and I totally would if all of it was published 😭😭😭 OOO but I do enjoy referencing my works in other works (literally did that in the mini scene above lmao) so there’s a good chance that I riff off of previous concepts or something else across the stories/one shots that I write! There’s so many references I throw in too. For example, the ‘I hope you care to be recalled to life’ part in It Wasn’t Special Til I Met you is from A Tale Of Two Cities. I definitely love exploring concepts in my work, which I guess is why it kind of reads as flowery when I dig into it 😂

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

To me, I really love when I’m able to come up with good dialogue or a good scene and I’m like ‘OOO YES THIS IS IT!” It’s super fun to explore the underlying themes and symbolism in pieces; I totally love and live for weaving stuff together like Blues Clues 😂 I also adore dropping references to various works or songs because people will catch them and be like ‘wait is that xyz?’ and I’m like ‘yeah! yes it is! you get it!’ And that’s just a wonderful feeling 😊🥰

That’s all for me! Thanks for asking!

[littlehollyleaf]

Shipping questions! What was your first ship, and what fandom is it from? Explain why do/don’t ship AkuRoku (or any other Kingdom Hearts ship)? Is there a ship that you used to ship, but don’t anymore?

Hehe, my first ship was Sonic the Hedgehog/Sally Squirrel from THIS VERY SPECIFIC version of Sonic. After seasons of flirting (as much as animated characters in kids TV really do ‘flirting’) they finally kissed in dramatic fashion at the climax of the finale and tbh I don’t think ANY pairing endgame has EVER been as satisfying as that moment was to little 8/9 year old me!

I DO ship AkuRoku... but, like, lowkey, because there’s age issues there. So mostly I think of them as best friends with the potential to grow into more as Roxas gets older? I guess... kinda like I was ‘shipping’ BatCat in Gotham when they were both underage kids, but not really shipping? Just thinking their relationship was sweet and later feeling happy about them exploring the idea of romance together as they got older... AkuRoku is also SUPER ANGSTY, what with Roxas ending up kinda ‘dead’ and there was that whole part in KH2 where Roxas and him fight each other... and then Axel turns his back on his organisation because of his feelings for Roxas (feelings he thinks he’s not even supposed to be capable of because Nobodies aren’t meant to feel!), then even going as far as sacrificing himself for Sora (even though Sora isn’t even actually Roxas!). Like, oh man - there’s so much intense emotion involved in Axel and Roxas’ relationship it’s INTOXICATING :) Very VERY EAGER to see what happens between Axel’s human self Lea and Roxas (who is obviously inevitably COMING BACK RIGHT??)

As to a ship I no longer ship... I... can’t really think of a ship I would say I’ve actively stopped shipping. Obviously as I’ve moved away from fandoms there are ships I don’t focus on anymore but... if I were to return to those fandoms I’m pretty sure the same ships would still be my ships....

Um, I remember I did used to really enjoy Willow/Oz back when I was watching Buffy and was sad they broke up (to the point of actually being kinda indifferent to Willow/Tara at the time). THAT is probably not really true anymore... though it’s not like either pairing was ever much of a Big Deal to me or has been since... I feel like if I rewatched the show, however, I would be MUCH more invested in Willow/Tara instead now. Because looking back I can see and appreciate how it was really a deeper/stronger and more loving relationship. So... yeah okay, Willow/Oz - a ship I don’t ship anymore, let’s call it!