#runaway Baudelaire au

[snicketverse-fic-finder]

Hi! I saw your comment, and I will definitely be checking out your blog!! :))) Are there any fics you would reccomend starting with? (They can be about anything haha)

Also omg a fellow Loveless and Radio Silence fan yayyy :D

Hi! Thanks for the ask!! :) (it’s good finding another fan!) Here are some of the fics I’ve read that I recommend starting with! :)

This entire series is amazing!! Very in-character and hilarious! It follows the Baudelaires and the Quagmires living together post-canon! :)

Word Count of entire series: 17k

Word Count of fic linked: 5k

🗣️Main characters: Violet Baudelaire🔧, Klaus Baudelaire📖,Sunny Baudelaire🍳, Beatrice II👶, Isadora Quagmire🖋️, Duncan Quagmire📰 and Quigley Quagmire🗺️.

Fic Type:

Found Family

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

Multichapter 📚

Set: Post-Canon⌛️

Rating: Gen ✅

***

‘AIIWY’ is one of my personal favourites 💜! It’s brought actual tears to my eyes. No joke, have had to put my phone down to process/pos

Word Count: 18k (Still updates)

🗣️Main Characters: Olivia Caliban, Jacquelin Scieszka and the Quagmire triplets

💘Main Ship: Olivia/Jacquelin

Fic Type:

Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Fluff and Angst

❤️‍🩹👩‍👩‍👧‍👦🧸🖤

Multichapter 📚

Set: Post-Canon⌛️

Summary: "Olivia?"

She looks up in surprise, "Sorry, is everything alright?"

"Yes, better than alright! But... are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she smiles fondly, "Promise,"

She is okay. Her wounds have healed, and without them, she might never have escaped that organization with her fiancée, never met these children, her children, never to be snatched away again. They had been burned down to their lowest, until they built each other back up from the ground. And she would do it all over again, if it meant to be where she was now.

Or

Jacquelyn, Olivia, and the Quagmires get the home that they deserve.

***

Book!Quagmires and Netflix!Quagmires are siblings. It’s hilarious. It’s queer. It’s more chaotic than you can imagine. It’s more that what any of us can ask for.

Word Count: 57k (Completed✅)

🗣️Main Characters: Book!Quagmire triplets and Netflix!Quagmire triplets (named Regina, Lewis and Carroll)

💘Main ships: Violet/Isadora 💜🖤, Klaus/Duncan 💙💚, Violet/Quigley💜💜, Regina/Carmelita💛🩷

Fic Type: Multichapter 📚

Set: During canon 🕰️

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: ‘It's not often you see an asoue AU in the perspective of the Quagmires story. It's not often either you see the Quagmires as sixtuplets. This, my friends, is going to be very fucking chaotic.’

[The author who wrote the sixtuplets au also wrote a fic ‘The Quagmire-Baudelaire’ switch which I already made a post about+HIGHLY recommend!] [Word Count: 95k]{Completed✅} The author is @weirdthoughtsandideas

***

A unique and haunting oneshot

Word count: 3k

🗣️Main Character: Friday Caliban

Fic type:

Angst with a happy ending and Found Family

🖤+🙂 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦

One-shot 📕

Set: Post-Canon⌛️

Also by this author is the Runaway Baudelaire AU which I’ve already made a post about. It’s an exciting, dramatic and emotional fic!!

Word Count: 138k Fic Type: Canon- divergence, angst, hurt/comfort and Found Family

(By @unfortunate-stranger-losers )

***

Violet and Quigley reunite unexpectedly (with a twist)

Word Count: 2k

🗣️Main Character: Violet Baudelaire

Fic Type:

Angst and Hurt/Comfort

🖤❤️‍🩹

One-shot

Set: Post-Canon⌛️

***

AU where Klaus dies after ‘ The End’ and time-travels back to ‘ The Austere Academy’! It’s really interesting and vivid! Also the characterisation is perfect!

Word Count: 12k (Still updates)

🗣️Main character: Klaus Baudelaire

💘Main ship: Klaus/ Duncan

Fic Type:

Fix-it, Canon-divergence, Time-travel, Falling in love, angst

🛠️🔀🕰️💘🖤

Multichapter 📚

Set: During canon🕰️

(By @cygninae )

***

Enjoy reading!! Feel free to ask for more recs as there are a lot of amazing fics I haven’t mentioned yet! :)

Also, if anyone wants to add to this list you can via reblogging with links or by commenting! :)

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Upcoming Runaway Baudelaires spoilers without context

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Hey 👋 Do you have any asoue fic recommendations? 📚

Literally any asoue fic by @unfortunate-stranger-losers. So many iconic fics there, we have Six Baudelaires, the Stranger Things AU, Runaway Bauds...

There's a Violet Snicket AU by @vfdbaudelairefile13

@margueritegracq Wrote an AU where Violet and Sunny were in the mansion during the fire and escaped with their parents, while Klaus ends up with Count Olaf together with Isadora and Duncan.

Honestly, there's so many more, back in 2019 people produced so much great content that I have a hard time remembering it all, cause I consumed like 10 chapters of 10 different fics every day (cause back then everyone posted a chapter every day, there was posting schedules and... augh <3)

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

The Losers Club - Stranger Things AU

The children of Derry start disappearing into thin air, including Georgie Denbrough and, most recently, Eddie Kaspbrak. While looking for their lost friend, a group of boys run into a mysterious runaway girl with a numbered tattoo and a connection to the missing kids. What the boys don’t realize is that this girl is more powerful than they believe...

“We have a lot of rules in our party, but the most important is ‘Friends don't lie.’ Never ever. No matter what.”

{The Losers Club in A Series of Unfortunate Events} || {The Party in IT} || {The Monster Hunting Squad in IT} || {The Party in A Series of Unfortunate Events} || {The Baudelaire Orphans in Stranger Things} || {The Baudelaire Orphans in IT}

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - Runaway Baudelaires AU

[ao3]

Duncan and Isadora both stared down at his hands, and then Duncan started to cry, followed quickly by his sister.

“Besides,” Violet added, hoping to lighten the mood, “I’d rather you be in here than dying in a shack.”

“Yeah.” Isadora nodded, smiling slightly as tears rolled down her cheeks. “Yeah, I- I would’ve done the same- the same thing-”

“Quigley would’ve done the same, too.” Duncan muttered.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Thirty-Nine - Laboheme

They sat in a near-empty room, with only a woman sleeping in the bed against the far wall for company whenever doctors came in and out. They did routine examinations while Violet spat out a fake story about a neighbor being angry that they were climbing in his tree, and how their parents would be along to pay the bill quite soon, don’t worry. Duncan was pretty nervous and uncomfortable most of the time, especially as they had him change into a hospital gown and kept having to touch and mess with his wound. So Isadora held one hand and Violet held another, while Klaus and Sunny sat beside him and rambled on about some book or another to distract him. If there weren’t doctors in, though, and Duncan did not need distracting, then Klaus would pull a book from his bag and read for them, while Sunny waddled around the room trying to get used to walking on her own, Isadora sketched out some poetry ideas, bouncing them off her brother, and Violet played with their last telegram, doodling on the edges or just staring at it.

At one point, the Volunteers Fighting Disease came in, singing to try to cheer them up, and the children were incredibly amused by the fact that they were not at all recognized as “those kids we shared a busride with.” They were so amused that when the Volunteers left, they all burst into laughter, almost doubling over, and not stopping until the next doctor came in. 

When the last doctor left and Duncan was settled in bed, flipping through the newspaper that was provided for him and using Klaus’s pencil to scratch out inconsistencies, Violet leaned over to Isadora and said, “We’ll be back in a few minutes. I saw arrows to the library, it’s a few floors up but not too far. Locks shouldn’t be hard to pick.” 

Isadora bit her lip and bounced her leg. “Are you sure?” 

“We’ll be fine. Just… if anyone comes in, you still have your weapons.” 

Isadora smiled slightly, and then whispered, “I took the dagger that stabbed Duncan and stuck it in my bag. I’m gonna wash it off and use it to cut someone’s hand off.” 

“Great idea.” Violet beamed. “We’ll see you in a few minutes.” 

They made their way to the library of records, and Violet knelt by the locks, narrowing her eyes. “Ugh.” 

“Ugh?” Klaus asked, gently placing Sunny onto the ground. “That’s not a good sound.” 

“Tis not, brother dear.” Violet rolled her eyes, shooting him a look. “These are way more complicated than our ordinary-enough pin-tumbler locks. We shoulda found someone with keys and swiped em.” 

“Do you think you can get in?” 

“It could take some time.” 

Sunny walked over, looked up at the lock, and then said, “Bite.” 

“No, you’re not biting the locks, Sunny-girl.” 

Sunny shook her head, and bit the edge of her finger. “Bite.” 

“I don’t follow.” 

“I think,” Klaus said, sitting by Sunny, his eyes wide, “She’s offering to bite something small to function as a key.” 

“That… may not be a bad idea.” Violet considered. She reached into her bag, muttering, and then pulled out her bag of hairpins. “So first you-” 

“Gotit.” Sunny shrugged, and started biting and twisting the pins, peering into the keyholes as she worked. 

“Cool.” Violet shrugged and stood up, smiling over at Klaus. “Our baby sister’s a free lockpick-maker.” 

“You don’t think she’ll hurt herself?” 

“She’ll be fine.” 

Sunny nodded as she handed Violet a lockpick, and Violet knelt down. Within a few minutes, the door was swinging open. 

“Fuck yeah.” Violet grinned. Klaus lifted Sunny as she shouldered her bag, and she walked inside, flicking on a lightswitch. Ahead of them were rows upon rows of filing cabinets, stretching out as far as the eye could see. 

“Hmm.” Sunny growled in displeasure, narrowing her eyes. “How are we gonna find the file in here?” 

Klaus moved to the first cabinet, and ran his hand over an AA-AC label. “It looks alphabetical. So we should check under ‘Baudelaire.’” 

Violet nodded, and after she tied her hair back and did a quick look-over of the cabinets, she directed them down the rows, until they reached AX-BA. She grabbed the right drawer, huffing to find it was locked, but thankfully this one was much easier to pick. When she got it open, Klaus used his free hand to flip through quickly, but he shook his head once he reached the end. 

“No Baudelaire.” 

“Maybe the next drawer?” 

“No. See, this is ‘Baz.’” Klaus shook his head. 

Violet paused. “Maybe it’s misspelled. B-U-Delaire.” 

“Budelaire.” Sunny giggled. 

“We can check.” Klaus shrugged. 

Violet moved down the cabinets, scanning the B labels, and when she found the BU-CA, she once again picked it open, and Klaus flipped through. 

“No.” he shook his head. 

“Are you sure?” 

“We go from ‘Buccaneer’ to ‘Byers.’ No room for ‘Budelaire.” 

Violet bit her lip. “Let’s check VFD.” 

As they headed down the rows, looking for the V files, Sunny whispered, “Vi? D’nouf?” “What if someone already took the files?” 

“Nobody saw that telegram but the guy at the counter, and you’d think he’d mention if he’d been able to give it to someone else.” Violet whispered, tugging on her ribbon. “Lemony never saw it, and the senders didn’t seem to be going anywhere.” 

“Cep?” “What if someone intercepted it?” 

“We’ll have to hope they didn’t.” Violet said. She glanced back at her sister and said, “This was important to Lemony, so it has to be important to us. I’ll open every filing cabinet in this room if I have to.” 

Sunny nodded, though Klaus bit his lip and glanced at the ground, unsure of how productive this was going to be. 

Violet found two entire drawers labelled VF, and she picked both, before tossing them open. Klaus put Sunny on the ground and flipped through the tops, reading out loud. “VFD- 1485 Columbia Road. VFD- 667 Dark Avenue. VFD- Anwhistle Aquatics. Bats in the Train Station. Building Committee. Curdled- we’ve gotten past ‘b.’” 

“Keep going.” Violet insisted. 

Klaus sighed. “Denouement, Hotel. Doyle, Vincent Francis. Dressing, Lois. Frogg-Drifter, Violetta. Hypnotists in the Office. Items, Museum of. Lachrymose, Ivan. Leeches in the Lake. Lions in the Mountains. Little Snicket Lad-” 

Violet pulled the file out and flipped it open, and then shook her head. “Just the sheet music with some notes. Not seeing anything good.” 

Klaus sighed and moved onto the next drawer. “Medusoid Mycelium. Orion Observatory. Prufrock Prep. SS Prospero. Schism, Discussions of - there’s like three files here.” 

“Hand em over. Might make for interesting reading.” Violet said. Klaus shrugged and handed her the files, and she shoved them into her bag, barely fitting it in. “What else?” 

“A bunch of investigative reports from an E Snicket- do we know one?” 

“Probably a relative of Lemony’s. Here, I’ll shove that in your bag. Keep going.” 

There’s not much else. I see Stain’d-by-the-Sea, Reports of; Sugar Bowl; Surgeons in the Theater; Valorous Farms; Volunteer Feline Detectives; Winnipeg, Duchy of; World is Quiet Here… another World is Quiet Here, and Zombies in the Snow. No Baudelaire.” 

“Or Budelaire?” Sunny giggled, for some reason thinking that was the funniest thing in the world. 

Violet groaned, finishing zipping up Klaus’s bag, and she tugged on her ribbon harder. “There’s gotta be a place. Maybe F for File.” 

“Seriously, Violet? Everything here is a file.” 

“Well, what do you suggest, oh wise one?” 

Sunny gave them incredulous looks. “Snicket.” 

Violet and Klaus gave her a look, and then Klaus slapped his forehead. “Duh.” 

“Come on.” Violet tossed him his bag, and Klaus threw it over his shoulder and then picked up Sunny as they raced back to the S cabinets. She ran her hands over the metal, watching the SW-SZ turn to SS-SV, then SO-SR… 

“Here!” Violet called. She raced to the SN drawer, and then again unlocked it quickly, tossed it open, and stepped back for Klaus to file through. He dropped Sunny, flipped a few files, and then beamed over at her as he found the SNI and triumphantly lifted a file, labelled: SNICKET BAUDELAIRE, ⅔.

“Fuck, yes!” Violet knelt on the ground, bouncing with excitement. Klaus knelt beside her, and Sunny peered over his arm as he flipped it open. 

He narrowed his eyes, a little confused as he started spreading papers. “What are these? I don’t see anything to do with our parents here.” 

Violet looked over, and then narrowed her eyes. Happy she still had her hair tied back, she pointed to a clipped newspaper article. “Read that for me, while I sort through these?” 

“Capture of the Remains of the Inhumane Society.” Klaus read. He skimmed, and then said, “Not much info. Some people who were in a terrorist organization went on the run and were finally caught.” 

“When?” 

“Uh… like thirty years ago.” 

“Date?” 

Klaus told her. 

Violet turned to him. “Open your commonplace book, make a note.” 

He shrugged and nodded, and as he started writing, Violet picked up an article. “Murder! Count and Countess found dead in mysterious circumstances at the Opera- well, alright, we can guess what this is.”

Sunny, not paying much attention, picked up a scrap and waved it in front of Klaus. “Whazzit?” 

“That’s some kind of poem, I think.” Klaus once again skimmed. “About making poison from bird bones.” 

“A profile on ‘Armstrong Feint.’” Violet said. “We have an underline here- base of operations in Clusterous Forest.” 

“Clusterous Forest?” Klaus echoed, and then lifted another paper. “What about this?” 

“What’s it say, dingus?” 

“It’s a transcript of an environmental society meeting about protecting some seaweed forest.” 

“What are you seeing?” 

Klaus scanned and recited interesting things that came to him. “Some are arguing that it’s a marvel of science as it’s landlocked, meaning the seaweed grows outside the ocean. But others are arguing that its existence is dangerous to the local wildlife, as birds will land on the seaweed and get stuck and die of starvation.” 

“Scout!” Sunny called. “Dead birds!” 

“Dead bird skeletons make poison.” Violet said, as Klaus started writing as many notes as he could. “This Armstrong Feint was in the Clusterous Forest, with a lotta dead birds…” she scanned the profile again. “Guess who was in charge of the Inhumane Society?” 

“So the Inhumane Society has poison? What does that have to do with us?” 

“Gimme the poem.” Violet took the paper and scanned it. “Klaus, it’s not about making poison. It’s about making poison darts.” 

Klaus’s eyes widened. “What?” 

“Whazzit?” Sunny asked, more confused than her brother. 

“Gimme the date of that arrest again, quick.” Violet said, shoving the papers back into the file and tying her ribbon around it to keep it closed. 

Klaus gave it to her, nodding; he was thinking the same thing. 

“That’d be when our parents were about sixteen.” Violet said. “And guess what.” She held up the paper she’d grabbed. “That capture was after the opera. Where our parents-” 

“You think-” 

“Lemony was trying to build a case. To frame this society.” Violet said, her eyes sparkling. She tossed the file at Klaus, who quickly flipped open his bag, shoving it inside as tight as he could. “They had poison darts. At least a couple were active during the Opera. If he can blame them-” 

“Then our parents are free.” Klaus breathed. 

They stared at each other a long time, and then Sunny asked, “Laboheme?” “What does this have to do with our parents?” 

Violet and Klaus froze. In their moment of euphoria, they’d forgotten that Sunny had not been told about their parents’ crime. Had not even guessed, as they had, what had probably happened. 

“Um…” Violet began. 

How would they explain that to her? What they’d just pieced together in their heads? How did one tell an infant that Lemony was trying to frame criminals for a murder that their parents committed? 

“Laboheme?” Sunny asked, more insistently. 

“The- the Opera…” Klaus bit his lip, glancing to Violet. “Um… it- it seems that- what happened at the Opera…” 

“Yes,” said a dark, sickeningly sweet voice behind them. “Tell her what happened at the Opera.” 

Violet’s head shot up, and then Klaus’s, his arm instinctively reaching out to grab Sunny and yank her closer to him. They stared up at Esme, who was smiling down at them in a cruel way. 

“Tell your baby sister,” she said, “What your parents have done.” 

Violet took a deep breath, then whipped a knife out of her pocket, and said, “Klaus, Sunny, run.” 

She didn’t have to ask twice. Violet jumped to her feet, throwing the knife at Esme’s chest, but unfortunately Violet giving her siblings forewarning also served to tell Esme something was going to happen, and she managed to leap out of the way. Violet quickly took off after her siblings, digging into her pocket for another knife. 

They raced down a few aisles, before ducking down behind a row of cabinets. “How did she-” Klaus began. 

“Firetruck. We left the firetruck-” 

“But that wouldn’t tell them-” 

“Unless they talked to the counter guy-” 

“Shit.” 

“Okay.” Violet took a breath. “We need to get to Duncan and Isadora and get out of- duck!” 

She pushed Klaus down, just as something flew over their heads. Violet turned to see one of Esme’s shoes, knives replacing the heels, landing against the side of a cabinet and sticking. 

“Oh, I see,” Violet nodded, as she pushed Klaus and Sunny ahead of her, turning to stick her tongue out at Esme as the woman started running after them. “More knives. Guess what, though?” she pushed Klaus and Sunny to the left, then ran to the heel, ripped it out of the cabinet, and said, “I got this now!” 

She pushed Klaus and Sunny down an aisle as Esme raced past, and then whispered, “Think she’s got the door blocked?” 

“I’d assume so.” 

“There’s gotta be a window. We can shimmy out and get Duncan and Isadora. Run to the left, side of the building should be that way.” 

Klaus nodded, and Sunny leaned against him, whimpering slightly. They started running, as Violet stayed behind her siblings, glancing back to see if Esme was behind them. 

After only a moment though, she let out a shout of surprise, as a row of filing cabinets, just beside them, came crashing down. Violet pushed Klaus aside, spotting Esme at the end of the toppled cabinets, and then said, “Alright, Klaus, officially? We’re on an A Flat.” 

He nodded, and took off running. They maneuvered through aisles, hearing more crashing behind them, and Violet waved the stiletto heel in her hands, trying to get used to the weight. “I dunno how accurately I can throw this.” 

“Vi, can we get out of here and then discuss that?” 

“Right, yeah.” 

Sunny shrieked, and Klaus quickly hauled Violet beside him as a filing cabinet fell right where she’d been standing. Violet then said, “Okay, F minor-” “Nobody talk!” -and they pushed on. 

“Come on, dears!” they heard Esme call, and Violet gripped the knife-shoe tighter. “We just want to have some fun!” 

At fun, another aisle started crashing. Klaus whimpered, the noise overstimulating him quite a bit, and Violet put her arm around him and kept pushing them forward. 

“Don’t you want to see Mummy and Daddy again?” 

Violet blinked away tears, and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw a wall up ahead. She raced them forwards and then ran them down until they found a window. Violet opened it, as Klaus threw the Sunnybag onto the ground and started strapping their sister into it. He slid it onto his back, whispered for his sister to hold on, and Violet helped him slide down onto the side of the outer wall. He slid slightly, and Violet turned, watching another row of cabinets start to topple. “She’s getting close.” 

“Then hurry out!” 

She glanced down. There wasn’t room for her to go beside him, and he wouldn’t get down far enough for her to start for quite some time. 

“New plan.” Violet said. 

“What?” 

Violet shrugged her bag off and tossed it out the window. 

“What?” 

“I’ll circle around so Esme doesn’t see where you got out.” 

“Violet-” 

“If I don’t meet you in the Quagmires’ room, run somewhere, get out. I’ll find you, I promise.” 

Before Klaus could argue more, Violet shut the window, and then called, “Klaus, go for the door! I’ll hold her off!” and took off running. 

She didn’t stick around to hear if Klaus yelled at her or if Sunny made a noise of protest, because another row of filing cabinets came tumbling down, and Violet ducked down an aisle, breathing deeply. 

“Well, well, well.” she heard Esme say, a little distantly, “Looks like our little Snicket is all alone.” 

Violet shut her eyes and gripped her jacket with one hand and the knife shoe with the other. 

“Come along, darling. Don’t you want to say goodbye to your mother?” 

Violet shook slightly as she edged her way down the aisle, trying to soften her footsteps. 

“Your Mother’s dying to see you, you know! All three of you!” 

Another row fell down, this one closer to the door. Violet breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that Esme had clearly taken her bait. She backed up a little, trying to keep her head low and her steps quiet. 

And then she felt an arm on her shoulder. 

She screamed and whipped around, swinging the knife heel. She jumped with surprise as she saw that Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender leap back, the heel cutting across their arm. They let out a gasp, and Violet took off running. Fuck, how many of them were there? Fuck, fuck, fuck… 

She kept moving, the files blurring around her, ignoring how close or far the cabinets were toppling, trying to still the beating panic in her heart and not look down at the blood on the knife heel… 

She turned a bend and saw Esme at the end of the aisle, knocking down another row. Violet stepped back, throwing back her arm in preparation to toss the shoe. Esme turned, a flicker of surprise in her eyes. 

Then Violet was grabbed from behind again, and this time the weapon was knocked from her hand. 

“Well, well, well,” Olaf whispered, as Violet screamed and tried to struggle away, “What have we here?” 

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Forty-Six - Klaus stars a Fire

Violet stumbled around the House of Freaks’ Caravan. “We should go out.” 

“The carnival’s almost empty, they’ll see us.” 

“They have to be out there.” 

“Mani.” “Calm down, we can search when it gets dark.” 

“We shouldn’t have just- we should go look- Klaus, if he gets Isadora and-” 

“I know.” Klaus bounced Sunny on his lap and shut his eyes. “I know. But we’re no use to them if we get captured. You said so yourself-” 

“I can’t let them get hurt because of us again.” 

“I… I know.” Klaus shook. “When they suggested going into the operating room instead of us I almost said no, but they were right, it was better strategy. We just-” 

Violet held up a hand to shush him, and they heard footsteps heading for the caravan door. Violet grabbed her knife hesitantly, while Klaus reached for a smokebomb. 

The door opened, and Isadora stumbled in, her arm around Duncan, who was hugging himself and shaking. She kicked the door shut, and Violet instantly ran forwards, going to Duncan’s other side and putting an arm around him. She helped Isadora sit him down, and watched as he curled up, putting his head in his lap. Klaus put Sunny on the ground and raced over, sitting beside him and hugging him. Sunny, for her part, ran to Isadora and hugged her legs. 

“What happened? Are you okay?” Violet asked. 

“I- we-” Isadora stuttered. 

Violet quickly sat her down, too, and pulled off her jacket, throwing it over Isadora’s shoulders. “What did he do? Did he catch you?” 

“Tort.” Sunny said. “Slow down, they’re scared.” 

Violet took a deep breath, then nodded, sitting between Isadora and Duncan. She lifted Sunny to her lap, and then said, “Okay. Take your time. We’re here, and we can- do we need to guard the door, at least? Can you tell us that? Cause I-” 

“He has Quigley.” Duncan said. 

Everyone fell silent. 

“Wh-what?” Violet said. 

“He has Quigley.” Duncan said. Slowly, he uncurled himself, and showed them a small, purple notebook clasped in his hands. “He has Quigley.” 

He pulled the commonplace book back to him, and Klaus hugged him tighter. “Are you sure?” 

Duncan nodded, tears brimming on the edge of his eyes. “This is his book. He would’ve had it with him when- when the fire- it’s the only thing he would’ve-” 

He shook hard again and leaned up against Klaus. 

Violet turned to Isadora, who was staring at the table. Finally, she spoke. “She- Esme. She came to us. Told us that- that they have Quigley. They have our brother.” she hugged herself, pulling Violet’s jacket over her. “They- they’re hurting him. They’re hurting him because of us.” 

“Isa-” 

“She…” Isadora shut her eyes, and then stared down at the ground. “She said she’ll give him back if we push you into the lion pit.” 

Violet shuddered, and Sunny curled up against her, breathing deep. Klaus blinked over at her. 

Isadora ran a hand through her hair, then turned to Violet, a question in her eyes. “Esme says you saw him.” 

“What?” 

“When you were captured. She says you- you saw him.” 

“I… I don’t…” Violet thought hard. “I was drugged out of my mind, we’re lucky I can remember anything, I…” 

“Was he the boy?” Isadora asked. “The boy who helped you? You said- you said there was a kid-” 

“I… it’s possible.” Violet shut her eyes. “I didn’t get a good look and I was super high, I… I guess he kinda did sound like Duncan, but that’s about the voice most boys your age have.” 

“What happened to him? Tell us everything, please. What do you remember about him?” 

Violet shut her eyes, and Sunny grabbed her hand, squeezing it a little. “I- he tried to help me. Olaf was… he was… talking about…” she shuddered again. “And he grabbed me and then the boy- he ran at Olaf, pushed him down. He couldn’t- he couldn’t get very far, he was also chained to something…” Isadora let out a cry. “But… he pushed Olaf, I was on the ground. I… everything is so blurry right now, but I remember being confused and hearing everyone screaming and… Olaf cut him. I remember that. He cut his arm.” 

“He cut his arm?” 

“I- I think so? I was dragged out before anything else happened- I don’t know…” Violet shuddered. “I don’t even know if it was Quigley.” 

“It… it probably was.” Duncan mumbled, pressing himself against Klaus as much as he could and trying to stop the tears. “He- he would do something like that. He-” 

“They have him. They have Quigley. He’s here. He’s here somewhere.” Isadora started crying, too, rocking back-and-forth. “She- she- she said if we do anything- if we try and stop her- she’ll hurt him. She’ll hurt him like she already has- she’ll hurt him if we do anything and she wants us to kill you- she- God, what are we supposed to do?”

“Okay, take a moment.” Klaus said. He held out a hand for Isadora to take, stretching across the table, and he said, “Okay, so we need to find our parents and Quigley and get out as fast as possible. If Esme knows we’re here, we don’t have a lot of time.” 

“If we do anything, she’ll hurt Quigley.” Isadora shivered. 

“Not if we get him out first.” Violet said. She also grabbed Isadora’s hand, and then said, “Okay, here’s what’s happening. We’re going out and searching now- I know it’s dark, and we shouldn’t search in the dark, but we’ll figure it out.” 

She stood up and started tying back her hair, and Isadora straightened in her seat, her eyes full of hope at the sight. Sunny crawled onto Duncan’s lap as he looked over, too, and Klaus carefully unwrapped his arm from his friend, standing up and walking to Violet, who was pacing. 

“We can cross Lulu’s tent off the list. We’ll check all the tents, and then figure out how to search the caravans- the other employees will be sleeping so we’ll have to be super careful.” 

Klaus leaned against the outer wall, and then jumped. “Did you guys hear something?”  

They shook their heads, though Isadora looked a little panicked. Violet went to the wall, listening carefully, and then said, “Think it’s just the wind. Okay, so, we’ll have to tie the caravan to the car, but I’m thinking we do that after our families are out. Hide them in the caravan while we connect.” 

“While we connect.” Klaus nodded, still leaning against the wall and narrowing his eyes. 

“Okay.” Violet clapped, before returning to the table, reaching for her sketch of the carnival. She drew an X over Lulu’s tent. “We need to figure out what’s most likely and go there first. We’ll have to hurry, and we will need weapons on us at all times. We have no idea who’s guarding them or who could spot us moving through the carnival, and we will not be caught off-guard again.” 

“What if someone finds us?” Duncan asked, shivering and hugging Sunny to him. 

“Then death. Instantly.” Violet said. “We don’t have the time for mercy or bargaining.” 

The Quagmires slowly nodded, and Sunny absent-mindedly bit her finger. 

“What’s most important is we never split up again, that keeps leading to disaster. Is that understo- Klaus, for fuck’s sake.” 

The Quagmires jumped and turned, to see that Klaus was no longer in the caravan, and the door was swinging open. 

Klaus had opened the door as quietly as possible, and then stepped out, silently moving his way to the ground and then to the back of the caravan. He was not surprised in the slightest to see Lulu there, muttering as she tied a rope to the edge, the other connected to Olaf’s car. The thought had occurred to him when Violet had said it, and as his eyes followed the rope, twisting and turning and tying together, something dark sparked within him. 

“The devil’s tongue knot.” he said, and Lulu almost jumped out of her skin, her eyes widening in terror as she gasped and looked up at him. “Good plan. Almost always holds.” 

“I- who-” 

Klaus raised an eyebrow. “Let me guess. Olaf said he needed a spare caravan, and you think it’d be fine to just let your employees sleep in the cold, probably without telling them first.” 

Lulu gaped at him a moment, and then straightened herself, trying to look intimidating. “The freaks will not, please, be around for long. They can sleep in their tent until they are fed to lions, please. Who are you?” 

“I bet Olaf wants the caravan for easier transportation of his prisoners.” Klaus said, clenching his fist. “I’m assuming he had them in the trunk before, but now he wants them split up. And there’s three of them, and while I think they could probably fit in that trunk, it’d be a tight squeeze. Not that he cares about their comfort.” 

“Who are you, please? What are you doing in Madame Lulu’s carnival, please?” 

“Oh, you can drop the act, Lulu.” Klaus rolled his eyes, before crossing his arms. “We ran the same scam. We know how you’re working. And, honestly, at least our Mother had the sense to not play the mystical foreigner trope, we just pretended she was possessed.” 

“Your-” her eyes widened, and then her false accent dropped. “You’re one of the Baudelaire children.” 

“Ding, ding, ding.” Klaus said, imitating the ringing of a bell. “Give the girl a prize. She’s finally used her brain.” 

He reached into his jacket pocket, and pulled out a knife, pointing it right at Lulu. “Let’s take a walk.” 

She stepped backwards, just as the door slammed open again. “Klaus!” Violet whisper-shouted. “Klaus, what the hell were we saying about splitting-” 

Her eyes fell on Klaus’s knife, and she stiffened. 

“I’d get everyone out.” Klaus said to her, keeping his eyes locked on Lulu. “We have something to discuss with Madame Lulu. Except I am tired of calling her that,” his voice broke slightly, “So can she please tell me what to call her, lest I call her nothing but ‘bitch.’”

The woman stared at the knife, and then said, “O-Olivia.” 

“Olivia, cool.” Klaus said, as Violet hesitantly descended the stairs, gesturing for the Quagmires to follow her. Duncan stepped out, carrying Sunny in his shaky arms, with Isadora trailing behind him. “Cool. Now…” he took a threatening step forwards, and Lulu stepped back. Klaus moved under the rope connecting the caravan and car, and continued walking backwards with her. 

“Where-?” Olivia began. 

Klaus honestly didn’t know; he felt like he was on autopilot. “I just have some questions for you, Olivia. There are some things I’d like an answer for.” he said. He heard the others rush to stand behind him, confusion and fear radiating off of them. “Like, first of all, why you think it’s okay to exploit people’s insecurities and then refuse to even give them the dignity of payment.” 

“I-” 

“And then, to top it off, let a dickhole of a man feed them to lions for entertainment value.” 

“I- they’re not-” 

Klaus continued pushing her backwards, twirling the knife threateningly in his hands, as they walked closer to the looming, broken rollercoaster. “They’re not what? Human? You wanna know what makes a human, Olivia? Empathy. Maybe try that sometime.” 

Olivia opened her mouth wide, and Klaus quickly said, “Scream and you get stabbed.” 

She shut her mouth. 

“Another question,” Klaus cocked his head. “Why do you think it’s okay to tell a monster where to find children, scared children who you know he’s planning to torture and murder? Why do you think it’s okay to hide their tortured and injured parents and a lost, scared kid in your carnival?” 

“Klaus…” Violet whispered, glancing towards the other caravans. “Just ask her where our parents and Quigley are, and let’s go.” 

“Yes, I’d like to know that.” Klaus said. “But, I do have one more question for her.” 

“I- I don’t know where your parents are! I let the troupe hide them-” 

“I think you’re lying to us.” Klaus said, and then he reached forwards and pushed her farther, past the tents, and she skidded across dirt. “But you can tell us where they are in a moment. I just have one thing to ask you first.” 

“Klaus-” Duncan began. 

“Count Olaf found us because he found out that Lemony was sending messages to our parents.” Klaus said, and he twirled the knife again. “They found out they were in contact, and so killed Lemony and drew us there.” 

Violet stiffened, the same thought that had been filtering into Klaus’s mind from their arrival suddenly pummeling her. 

That was about when they heard a roar, and jumped, realizing just where Klaus had taken them, whether he knew it or not. Sunny whimpered, and Isadora put one hand on Violet’s arm and one on Duncan’s, as they looked to see, just a few feet behind Lulu, a freshly-dug lion pit. They could hear the creatures pacing and growling, probably upset at having been awoken. 

“I- I don’t-” 

“So tell me,” Klaus said, and he stepped even closer, his knuckles white around the knife’s handle. “How did he find out Lemony was talking to us?” 

Sunny let out a small cry, and Violet started to shake- with fury or fear, they couldn’t quite tell. 

“I- I just-” 

“I bet you intercepted a telegram, decoded it, figured out who it was for, and dangled it in front of your crush.” Klaus’s voice went very, very dark, and he pushed her again. She was now on the edge of the lion pit, and seemed keenly aware of this, as she started sputtering, trying to say something. “I bet you knew the best present for him would be people he could torture like a sadistic bastard, keep them in physical and mental anguish and throw three kids into a world of pain on their own.” 

“I just…” Olivia finally said, her voice small, “I give the people what they want.” 

“No.” Klaus shook his head. “You’re just a coward, Olivia, a coward who will burn the world to keep herself safe.” 

He turned, then, looking to the others. Isadora was looking at Olivia in shock, and then she said, “Where’s our brother?” 

“I- I cannot tell you-” 

“Can’t or won’t?” Duncan snapped. 

“Please, I promise, I don’t know. I just told the henchpeople to tell me where to draw crowds away from if lots of people arrive, they wander around themselves, I don’t know-” 

“But you let them keep our brother here.” Duncan said. 

“Renny.” Sunny said. “And our parents.” 

“And you told him where to find our parents, by telling them who they had to kill.” 

“I didn’t-” 

“Don’t tell us you didn’t know!” Klaus’s voice broke again. “Don’t tell us, because you did! You knew what you were doing and you did it anyway!” 

“Please, I just did what I was asked.” 

“You were asked to do horrible things, and you did them. And you’re a horrible person.” Klaus said. “The way you treat your employees, the way you throw everyone under the bus to keep yourself afloat��� you…” 

He turned again, and locked eyes with Violet. Violet shuddered once more, before holding herself very still. And then she nodded. 

Klaus turned back to Lulu, staring at her teary eyes, and then said, “You killed our dad.” 

And then he threw his knife into her, causing her to stumble and fall backwards. 

Klaus immediately ran back to the others, and Violet clutched them all into a group hug as the roars and screams hit them. Then, after a second, Violet dragged them out behind a tent, as they started hearing caravan doors slam open, people start shouting. Rushing. 

“Klaus, what do we do?” Violet asked. 

Klaus sank to the ground, staring at the bloodied knife in his hands. 

“Klaus!” 

Klaus looked up, blinking away tears. Violet put her hands on his shoulders, breathing slowly. He caught on, and breathed along with her, slowing himself down to avoid panic. He glanced to the others; Duncan was curled around Sunny, the two of them covering their ears, and Isadora hugged them both. 

“What did I do?” 

Violet shut her eyes. “We can talk about that later. Klaus, they’re going to know we’re here.” 

Klaus bit his lip, and then said, “Then we get them out of the carnival. Away from us.” 

She widened her eyes at him. “You’re not suggesting G-sharp-minor.” 

“Do we have another choice?” 

“Wh-” Isadora asked, and they turned, worried they’d see that she was scared of them, or hate them. After all, they’d failed to get information out of Lulu and just put them all at risk. But she just gave them a look, one that said she understood. 

She cleared her throat, and then said, “What’s G-sharp-minor?” 

Klaus shuddered, and Violet pulled her bag out. She reached past the Baudelaire file, shuddering as if she touched the most precious thing in the world, and then she pulled out a box of matches. 

“Burn it all.” she said. 

“Olaf will get in his car, but they’ll take off fast.” Klaus looked down at the ground. “We may not be able to hit him.” 

“Esme said…” Duncan shivered. “Esme said they were going to burn a VFD Headquarters.” 

Violet’s eyes lighted. “The stain.” 

“What?” 

“There was a map in… in a tent.” Klaus said. “We know where the headquarters are. Mount Fraught.” 

“Where the Snow Scouts hike every False Spring?” 

“It’s not False Spring yet.” 

“But I bet there are Snow Scouts nearby.” Violet said. “And I’m sure we can convince them to start out early.” 

They looked to each other, and Klaus whispered, “So. Ready to set some shit on fire?” 

They nodded, and Violet struck her match.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Fifty-One - And prate about an Elephant

When everyone had calmed down, Violet managed to come up with a schedule for guard duty, where two would watch the surrounding area while the others slept. Klaus insisted on going first, and Violet was pretty sure he suspected that she’d try to stay overtime. Duncan sat with him, and Violet fell asleep still hearing them mumble something to each other. Isadora had spread out enough blankets to wrap her and Quigley up, staying against him even as he kicked and turned a little, clearly not sleeping well. Sunny stayed curled beside Violet, though she slept perhaps least of the group, sitting up every now and again to watch the horizon and wait for her father to arrive. Besides, well, it was daytime, and Sunny wasn’t used to sleeping in bright light. 

After a few hours, Klaus awoke Violet for her watch, but when Duncan moved towards his siblings, Quigley sat up, rubbing his eyes. 

“I’m already awake, I might as well.” 

“Are you sure? You’ve just been through a lot-” 

“So have you. I’ll watch, you sleep, I’ll wake Isadora up in a bit.” 

Duncan hesitated and then nodded. He helped his brother up, and then they touched their foreheads together a moment, just feeling each other. Then Duncan took his place beside Isadora, and Quigley wandered over to sit by Violet. 

They were silent for a long while, listening for any sounds of approaching strangers. Quigley bounced his leg, playing with his zipper, and Violet twirled her ribbon over her hands, sometimes pulling back her hair and thinking of how to build an invention to make it easier to see through snow. 

She turned after about an hour, her eyes scanning over her siblings. Sunny had finally succumbed to exhaustion, snoozing beside Klaus, who was only moderately pushing against her in his sleep. Duncan and Isadora were hugging each other, and after waiting a moment to ensure they were also asleep, she turned to Quigley and whispered, “It was you, right?” 

“Hmm?” he asked, staring into the distance. 

“In the Hospital. You were in the cellar with us, weren’t you?” 

Quigley shut his eyes, and then hugged himself. “Yeah.” 

She gave him a quick look, scanning over his face, and then said, “I’m… sorry you had to go through that.” 

“I’m sorry that happened to you.” Quigley said back. 

“Why did he even take you?” 

“Wanted to kill my siblings and use me for my family fortune.” Quigley said. He glanced back at his siblings, and then said quietly, “I thought they’d killed Duncan for a while. They told me… but I didn’t know if I believed it, if I could… and then I saw him and Isadora in the cave and…” he shuddered. “I was just so relieved I couldn’t speak for a moment, and… and they were there…” 

“I get that.” Violet nodded. She scooted a little closer to him. “When I saw- when I saw my parents in there, heard them, I almost forgot I’d been kidnapped, I just knew they were there.” 

Quigley nodded, hugging his knees. 

They were silent another moment, and then Violet slid her hand over Quigley’s. He flinched, turning to her, and she said, “Thank you.” 

“For what?” 

“You know.” 

“I-it’s what any decent person would’ve done.” 

“But he hurt you. You knew he would, and you did it anyway.” 

“I…” 

She sighed, running her hand over his, and then she said quietly, “Can I see?” 

“You… you probably don’t want-” 

“Can I see?” she said, more insistently. 

Slowly, he nodded, and reached for his left arm, pulling on the sleeve a little. Violet reached over, pushing it back as far as it would go, and staring down at the massive scar still left over from a few days before. 

“It’s… it doesn’t really hurt that much right now.” Quigley tried. 

Violet kept staring down. Then she used her free hand to pull out her ribbon, and she quickly tied back her hair. “We’ve got a first aid kit in the Sunnyb- in Klaus’s bag. We can probably-” 

“It’s fine, really.” 

“I doubt they gave you any first aid, we should at least-” 

“Look, it healed and it’s probably not infected, we’re fine.” 

“There’s gotta be something I can do.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, I’ll help.” 

“Really, it’s fine, we should focus on guarding. It doesn’t hurt, I’ll be fine, promise.” 

“You better be telling me the truth.” Violet and Quigley both looked up, realizing their faces were rather close together. Quigley froze, his cheeks going red, and Violet said quietly. “Seriously. Promise it’s okay for now?” 

“I promise.” Quigley said quietly. 

Violet smiled a little, then pulled away slightly and looked back down at his arm. She flinched a little at the scar, pulling his sleeve down for him. “There, now you’re not cold.” 

“It’s really not that cold.” 

“That’s cause it’s almost False Spring, the weather gets unusually warm before going-” 

“-back to cold, yeah.” 

“We better be out of here before it ends.” 

“Well, your father said to wait til I ran out of food… I don’t think he thought you’d all be here, though- fuck, I left my bag-” 

“We’ve got plenty of food.” 

“I’m… I’m just worried.” 

“Who did you say he was running from?” 

“Two people… a man with a beard but no hair, and this woman with hair but no beard. They had this… aura of menace, I guess. Bertrand just said they were dangerous arsonists. And that we shouldn’t go near them.” 

Violet considered, running through a list of people her parents had pointed out to her as bad. “I don’t think they mentioned them, but we were a bit, well, busy on the run. And they didn’t want us to be worried all the time.” She sighed. “Sucks that we are now.” 

“Hopefully we can find some way out soon.” Quigley said. 

Violet hesitated, and then reached for her bag. “Actually, at the hospital, we found this-” 

“Wait.” 

She froze, her hand just over the flap. “What?” 

He held out a hand, and she heard it, too; distant, echoey footsteps. Someone was coming. 

“Get your siblings up, duck behind that fallen beam.” she instructed. He nodded, leaping over the ash to race to his triplets. Violet slung her bag over her shoulder and quickly shook her siblings awake. Almost immediately, Klaus caught the look in her eye and jumped up, grabbing his bag as she picked up Sunny. He gathered their blankets in his arms as they raced off, the Quagmires just a little behind, a little more tired. 

Once they were down, Quigley said, “Someone’s coming. It could be Bertrand.” 

“Or it could be Olaf.” Violet said. “Or one of the other arsonists.” 

“Woh?” Sunny asked. “How do we know who it is?” 

“If we look, we risk exposing our position.” Violet said. 

“If we hide, we risk letting our dad think we’re not here.” Klaus added. 

“Did we ever go over this potential situation?” Violet asked, running a hand through her hair, pulling out the ribbon and stuffing it into her pocket. “What do we do?” 

“Is there a code?” Quigley asked. 

“What?” 

“A code. That you have for each other.” 

“We change our codes at every hideout, and it’s mainly knocking patterns.” Violet muttered. “We won’t have anything for right now.” 

“You could wait to hear his voice.” Isadora said. 

“What if he’s being threatened, though?” Klaus said. “Or if someone imitates his voice? Violet can imitate voices pretty well, maybe Olaf found someone…” 

“Maybe you can get him to say something only you’d know.” Duncan said. 

“Like what?” 

“I don’t know.” Duncan bit his lip. He rocked back-and-forth, and said, “I mean, we… we used Jabberwocky when we found Quigley. The car song we all know.” 

“Yeah, we used the poem.” Isadora nodded. 

“The…” Violet shut her eyes, and then grabbed Klaus’s hand tightly. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 

“I think so.” 

Sunny nodded. 

They heard a clatter; someone had reached the remains of the headquarters, tripped over something. They were here. 

Now or never. 

Violet squeezed Klaus’s hand, and then shouted, loud as she could, her voice breaking, “It was six men of Indoostan!” 

There was a deathly silence, as only the wind blew through the ash, silence falling over them. 

Violet took a breath, and then choked out, tears springing to her eyes, “To learning much inclined!” 

Still silence. They thought they might’ve heard footsteps edging closer, but they might’ve imagined it. 

Violet started to cry, so Klaus put an arm around her and called, “Who went to see the elephant, though all of them were blind!” 

Sunny grabbed onto Violet’s coat, as tears also came to her, and she cried out, sounding out the words as best she remembered, “That each, by ob-ser-vation!” 

They sat, gripping each other’s hands, as the Quagmires watched them carefully, occasionally glancing towards the wall, as if they could see through it and find out who was coming. 

Then, quietly, only just barely heard above the wind, a soft whisper.

“Might satisfy his mind…” 

Violet leapt to her feet and jumped out from behind the pillar, staring in complete shock. She immediately dropped her bag to the ground, and took off running.

“Poppa!” 

Klaus lifted Sunny and took off after her, barely a blur as they all ran to their dad. The Quagmires jumped to their feet, and watched as Violet tackled her father, the two of them falling to the ground; Bertrand, however, recovered quickly enough to break her fall, before sitting up and clutching her close, only removing one arm for a few moments, enough to pull Klaus and Sunny in as well. Klaus dropped to his knees, pressing his head in his father’s shoulder and pulling up against him as tight as he could, while Sunny leapt forward and buried herself in her dad’s tattered shirt, starting to wail and cling to him. Violet, meanwhile, started shaking and sobbing, barely keeping her arms around her father as she was wracked with a storm of tears. 

“Dada! Poppa!” Sunny wailed. 

“Dad! You’re here! Daddy, you’re here!” Klaus cried. 

Bertrand didn’t speak for a long while, just pulling his kids closer and hugging them tight, tying and failing to keep from crying with them. The Quagmires carefully stepped forwards, watching, and then Isadora sat on the edge of the fallen pillar, and her siblings joined her, grabbing each other’s hands. 

Violet continued to sob uncontrollably, and Klaus soon joined her, and eventually Bertrand pulled away, putting one hand on a cheek of each of his children, while Sunny continued to cling to him. He scanned them quickly, eyes darting to every bruise or scar, before he said, “Are you okay?” 

“Dad.” Klaus just leaned into his hand, reaching up his own to hold it still against his face. “Dad.” Violet didn’t even speak, she just kept crying, staring over at him. 

Bertrand pulled them back into a hug quickly, whispering, “I’m here, I’m okay. We’re going to be okay.” 

“Poppa…” Sunny cried. 

He pulled away again, slowly lifting her up. Sunny smiled and blinked away tears as he looked at her and said, “Sunny, my baby, you’re a toddler now.” 

“Big!” Sunny nodded. 

He placed her down, and while she grabbed onto his leg, as if letting him go would make him vanish, he glanced up, catching sight of the Quagmires, and his face flickered a moment, before understanding hit him. “Quigley, you found them! You’re okay?” 

Quigley nodded, grabbing Isadora’s arm and leaning onto her shoulder. He could wait his turn for a hug, the Baudelaire children had been waiting long enough. 

Violet kept crying, and Bertrand turned away from the Quagmires to wipe her tears. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay, I’m here. Nothing’s going to happen to you again.” his voice broke a little. “Did they hurt you?” 

“Poppa…” was all she croaked out. 

Bertrand glanced between all his children. “I- I only just got away, I- I don’t think I was followed, so we-” 

“Are you hurt?” Klaus asked. “Do you need first aid?” 

“No, I- I should be…” he shivered. “What about you-?” 

“We’re fine. We’re fine. You’re here.” Klaus said. 

Sunny beamed, then looked over at Klaus, her face shining. “Happy Birthday.” she said. 

Klaus continued to weep, and the Baudelaires embraced each other again.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

hey so i realized i forgot to pitch the runaway bauds au to anyone outside of the discord so here it is 

in this au, beatrice and bertrand end up on the run instead of lemony; long story short, their involvement in the opera night is leaked to the public

lemony works to clear their names- bit difficult, considering they’re guilty af- while the pair live a life on the lam

and on the lam, they still end up with their three kids 

violet, klaus and sunny are raised to run first and foremost. they’re very good at disguise and self-defense, and they’ve been warned extensively against law enforcement or, worse, vfd 

then olaf manages to capture the family. violet, klaus and sunny escape, but unfortunately not fast enough; olaf now knows they exist 

he holds beatrice and bertrand hostage until he can kidnap the kids and use them as way to torture his old enemies 

what he doesn’t count on, though, is violet, klaus and sunny being really good at evading capture

instead of guardians, they bounce between safehouses at first, trying to lay low until their parents escape. when they realize that their parents are very truly stuck, they decide to break them out themselves

and now nobody can help olaf, cause these kids are very fucking determined

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist} 

Chapter One - Prologue

“Why are we always running?” 

Beatrice and Bertrand always knew this question would come. It was inevitable, what with their situation, their way of life, one their children would always notice wasn’t considered normal. But still, it took three attempts before they finally answered. 

First came when Violet was five. Old enough to notice that everybody else had permanent houses, permanent cities, who moved only rarely and were impressed that she couldn’t even remember how many places they’d lived. When she asked, while little Klaus was stumbling around the room trying to find a book for their father to read to him, Beatrice just forced a smile and told her that she’d explain when she was older.

Second was when Violet was six. She was older, she’d thought, so she should know now. And it was after she had come home from the playground with her mother, crying because the other kids wouldn’t let the new girl play with her. She was always the new girl. Would she never have anyone to play with? When she asked Bertrand, he fell silent and asked her if she wanted to practice her lockpicking. That distracted her as well as cheered her up immensely; she was very good at picking all sorts of locks, and loved finding out how they worked. 

Finally, third, came from Klaus. And when their youngest asked, their little five-year-old confused that he couldn’t get a library card if he didn’t live in town, while his seven-year-old sister looked up behind him, begging with her eyes for them to finally explain, they realized they couldn’t delay it any longer. 

Beatrice held out her arms, and Klaus ran up to her, stumbling over his own feet and blinking behind his new glasses, leaping onto her lap and curling up against her chest, already clinging to her arm. He was definitely more of a cuddler than Violet, who preferred to only occasionally give hugs and would rather just wave or blow kisses from across the room to show affection. Still, Violet went over to Bertrand, sitting on his lap so he wouldn’t feel left out and wrapping and unwrapping a ribbon around her hand. 

Beatrice glanced around the room a moment; they were in a small hotel, for the next two weeks before they could catch the train. This was a relatively safe city, but it still made her uneasy. She didn’t like staying so close to anything VFD-related for long. But if they caught this train, they might have a month or two before moving again. 

“Mama?” Klaus glanced up at her. “Are you gonna answer?” 

Beatrice and Bertrand shared a very sad look. No sense delaying it longer. 

“Well…” Beatrice muttered, running her hands through Klaus’s hair as he snuggled against her again. “You see… it’s not a very happy story.” 

“Tha’s okay.” 

Beatrice held out her other arm, and Bertrand grabbed and squeezed her hand. It’s okay, he was clearly saying. We’ll do it together. Like everything else. 

She had to hold back tears- don’t let them see you cry, Bea, don’t let them see you cry- and managed to say, her voice breaking only a little, “Mommy and Daddy did something very bad.” 

Violet looked over at her, surprise in her eyes. Beatrice didn’t dare look down at Klaus; he hadn’t moved from her grasp, but she was sure he was also shocked. They’d never imagined their parents could do something bad, something so bad it would ruin their lives before they even began. Not that they understood their lives were so horrible yet; this was all they knew. 

“We, um…” she took a deep breath, and then glanced at Bertrand. He nodded. 

“You know those kids a few towns back who were a part of those Scouts?” Bertrand said. “Where they gathered together and learned things at the same time?” 

“Yeah, like a club.” Violet nodded. 

Bertrand sighed. “You see, there are some of those for adults, and not all of them are good. Some of them are very bad, and make you think doing bad things are okay, and the only good thing you can do is stay in the group.” 

“That sounds scary.” Violet said. 

“It… it is.” Bertrand said. “And when Mommy and Daddy were… were about your age, our parents gave us to a group like that, because they didn’t know it was bad. They were told it was… was a good thing to give their kids up. But we’d never do that, okay?” He looked very seriously at both his children. “We learned better, and we’ll never let anyone take you away.” 

Klaus and Violet nodded seriously. They couldn’t even imagine a parent giving up their child. It was unbelievable to them. 

“We grew up there.” Beatrice said. “And they made us do bad things and think they were good. And one of those things… we tried to leave, and that bad thing was revealed.” 

“You know how the police are supposed to help people, but we always tell you not to talk to them unless it’s an absolute emergency?” Bertrand said. “It’s because they’re looking for us.” 

“Why can’t you just explain you didn’t know it was bad?” Violet asked, tilting her head. “Wouldn’t they believe you?” 

“I’m afraid not, baby.” Beatrice said. She let go of Bertrand and wrapped her arm around Klaus, hugging him as best she could. “Our group is secret, and keeps themselves very secret, so nobody knows about them, and if we try to tell people, they won’t believe us.” 

“And we… it’s still our fault.” Bertrand said. “No matter what we were told, we should’ve known what we did was bad. We were told that… that it was a bad thing, unless our group asked it of us. We should’ve realized how contradictory that was.” 

Klaus looked up at him. “What does ‘con-tra-dic-to-ry’ mean?” 

Bertrand smiled a little. “Logically opposite, inconsistent, impossible to connect.” 

“Oh.” 

“And if we turn ourselves in,” Bertrand said, glancing at the ground, “Then our enemies will find and hurt us. And, even worse… they could find you.” 

“And we want you to know,” Beatrice said, very slowly, “That no matter what Mommy and Daddy have done, we will never do anything to hurt you, ever. We’re running so the people who want to hurt us, and the group that hurt us, can never find us or you.” 

“But we might be able to stop someday.” Bertrand said. “We have a…” he and Beatrice shared a look. How were they supposed to explain his relationship to them? “A very close friend. He’s working on getting our enemies locked up for the bad things they did, and…” 

“And getting us in a good enough place that we can find somewhere to live safely.” Beatrice said, and she ran her hand through Klaus’s hair again. “Or… or at the very least, you can be safe. Even if we’re not, the most important thing is that nothing happens to you.” 

They’d considered that for a very long time. That they might have to turn themselves in. For what they’d done. For the blood on their hands. They would do that if they could, they knew; it was deserved. They’d killed people, they deserved the consequences. But Violet and Klaus didn’t. They didn’t deserve any hurt, any of the horrible things that could happen to them because of what their parents did. If all went well, Lemony could clear their names. But if he could only get the Firestarters locked up, get VFD off their backs for long enough… Lemony would take care of their children. They knew he would. 

“It’s very hard to tell you this.” Bertrand said, remembering that he’d been told it was important to be emotionally open to your children so that they understood, and by God, did he need them to understand. “You know how hard it is to admit you did something bad to someone you love.” 

Violet nodded slowly, thinking hard. She knew what it was like to admit that she’d pushed Klaus down, or broken something that didn’t belong to them. Even Klaus knew what it was like to confess that he’d ripped a book on accident or stolen extra food on purpose. Of course, none of that was as bad as murder, but it was the worst thing they could probably think of. Enough to at least understand how their parents felt. 

“But we do have to tell you.” Beatrice said. “We just wanted to wait until you were old enough to understand a little. We’ll explain more as you get older, and can understand everything. Is that okay?” 

Violet and Klaus were silent a moment, and even though they knew it was unlikely, Beatrice and Bertrand both felt a fleeting moment of panic that their children didn’t understand, and were angry, and were going to yell and scream and hate them- or worse, run away and end up right in the arms of people who could hurt them. 

Then Klaus nodded. “Okay.” he said.

Violet nodded, too, getting back to work on wrapping and unwrapping her ribbon. “Okay.” 

Their parents shared a very significant look, one full of sadness, yet relief. 

“So, we have to keep moving until things are safe.” Beatrice finished. “And I’m very sorry. That’s also why you get to learn so many things-” 

“Like math?” Klaus asked. 

“Well, no, everyone should know math.” Beatrice said, forcing herself to laugh a little. “We mean like… stuff other kids don’t know. Like lockpicking, and self-defense-” 

“And codes?” Violet asked. 

Beatrice bit her lip. “Yes. And codes.” She took a deep breath. “We can’t answer all of your questions right now. But we will, we promise. We can’t hide this from you while we keep you on the run with us. But do you have any questions? We’ll try to answer whichever ones we can.” 

Violet and Klaus shared a look, considering, while Beatrice and Bertrand met each other’s frightened gaze. 

Then Violet asked, “What was the bad group called? So we don’t accidentally join?” 

Klaus nodded his agreement that yes, that was a good question. Beatrice sighed, thankful they hadn’t asked for more specifics on their parents’ crime. 

“It was called the Volunteer Fire Department,” Bertrand said, “But they call themselves VFD. They use those initials as a code.” 

“There are two different parts of the group.” Beatrice said. “Some of them work to stop fires and preserve knowledge, and some of them start fires and work to gather material possessions. But they both make their members do whatever they want, and convince them that they can never leave.” 

“Both of them will try to hurt you, if they find out you exist.” Bertrand said. “And we’re very sorry about that, and we don’t want to scare you. But we also want you to know what to stay away from, and what is dangerous, so that you don’t end up with them, thinking they’re safe.” 

“Okay.” Violet nodded. “Tha’ makes sense.” 

“Can we go to the library now?” Klaus asked. “I wanna finish that book on tide pools.” 

Beatrice smiled, and once again had to remind herself not to cry. “Yes, of course.” she said. “Do you want me to read it to you, or do you think you can do it yourself?” 

“I think I can.” Klaus nodded seriously. He felt very grown-up, now that his parents had told him a secret. Which reminded Beatrice-

“Oh, and one more thing.” she said. “You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? We don’t want to get caught.” 

Violet and Klaus nodded, even smiling a little, excited to be trusted so much. 

They got up to get their bags to go to the library, and both Beatrice and Bertrand tried not to cry. 

Beatrice and Bertrand rarely contacted Lemony back. They felt bad about it, but when they went on the run, they all agreed it was best. They would send him something inconspicuous when they were to stay in a town for long enough for him to send a report back. Sometimes a message, if they could risk it- Violet learned Sebald quickly. Klaus has finally managed to scale a building. Thank you for the coats, they were useful. Violet’s recent invention was so magnificent, you would be impressed. Klaus can recite Beowulf in the original Old English, you’d love to hear it. We miss you. 

She has your eyes. 

They weren’t to be in this town long- only until the boat could ferry them across the harbor in a few days, but they knew they had to risk it. 

Violet was upstairs, working on making a portable toaster so they could cook food without setting a campfire. Klaus was downstairs, reading some books they’d stolen from the library, which they would return before they left, something about the life of one historian or another. They were growing up so fast. Too fast. 

Beatrice had grown even more nervous since they sent the message, and every time Bertrand came back from the post office, shaking his head that there had been no reply, she got even more concerned. 

They were both terrified, but they’d felt this terror before. On the island, when Beatrice realized why she was so nauseous when she was no longer at sea. Several months later, when they were hidden in the basement of an old house Lemony could visit, and he and Bertrand had to help her by themselves. When they were swiping food from the store, and she was shoving bags into her coat while Bertrand distracted the cashier with how cute Violet was, and she was feeling dizzy, and she, with shaking hands, also stole a test from beside the counter. Months after that, when they were in the woods and Bertrand had to zip Violet into the tent so she couldn’t wander off while he used his little medical knowledge because they couldn’t get to a hospital even if it would’ve been safe for them to. The several weeks when their infant son needed help to breathe, and kept getting sick, and all those nights they couldn’t sleep because they were terrified he’d slip away and stop moving forever while they weren’t looking. 

But it had been a long time, and the terror returned like a gutpunch. 

Finally, while Violet invented and Klaus read, Bertrand returned from the post office with a telegram. He and Beatrice sat on the couch to decode it, and smiled a little when the message read something that wasn’t angry, or judgmental, or even sad. 

If you name them after our chaperone, so help me God… 

Bertrand laughed, and Beatrice laughed. And then they cried. 

“One day,” they promised each other, “One day soon, they’ll all be safe. They won’t have to run. They won’t have to hide. Maybe this one won’t even grow up on the run.” 

They knew that was a promise they couldn’t keep, but they were content with pretending.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

so. anons 

do you now understand why my reaction to y’all asking about lemony was 

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Thirty-Three - We begin the hunt for the Bastard

“Esmé will have alerted Olaf to where we are by now, so the city’s not safe.” Violet said. 

They still sat on the dusty floor of the nursery, but this time they were all at full attention. They’d slept in the old master bedroom, taking turns keeping watch and spreading themselves out on the bed, Sunny curled up on a pillow and unaware that she was not to be awoken for a watch. Now, though, it was time to plan, and as Violet had wandered her way back to the nursery, almost in a trance whenever the music box was played, they’d decided to figure everything out there. 

“Klaus, map me.” Violet said. 

Klaus reached into his bag, handing out a map of the city they’d managed to grab upon entering the other day. He spread it out, and as Violet dropped coins onto the sides to weigh it down, he started charting the surrounding area. 

“If we’re going to find Olaf and not get caught,” Klaus said, “We need to figure out where he���s going to be, beat him there, and then kill him before he can kill us.” 

“Sounds good.” Isadora nodded. 

“Lousy Lane is here,” he said, “But Olaf won’t think we’d go back there, and VFD could be swarming the place.” 

“Could we get VFD’s help?” Duncan asked. “I know they suck, but they seem to hate Olaf, too. Maybe we could make a temporary alliance.” 

“You’re forgetting, dear Duncan,” Violet said, “That they don’t know we exist, they hate our parents, and you two are definitely targets for them. Any association with them will not end well.” 

“I guess.” Duncan said, considering. 

“But,” Klaus said carefully, staring at the corner of the map, “Duncan may have just given me an idea.” 

“What?” 

“How about he head this way?” 

He then pointed to a spot, several miles outside the city, literally marked VFD. 

“Seriously, Klaus?”  Violet asked. 

“They have their headquarters on a fucking map?” Isadora asked. 

“It’s probably not a headquarters,” Violet sighed, “But an outpost of some kind. They’re idiotic, but not that obvious.” 

“But,” Klaus said, “There are no surrounding towns. Looks like an isolated spot. So anything that happens there- well, we can be sure Olaf can’t run and hide.” 

“Neither could we.” 

“Which is why we get there first.” 

“Lure him there.” Isadora suggested. “Make sure he knows where we’re going and get there first. Then set a trap.” 

“And boom! He’s a dead son of a bitch.” Duncan said. 

“And likely he’ll bring our parents with him.” Klaus said. “Once they’re out, they can take care of you two.” 

“Could be risky.” Violet said. 

“Losi,” Sunny said, which meant, “And where’s the fun if there is no risk?” 

“This isn’t fun, Sunny,” Klaus said, “We have to go rescue our parents and kill Count Olaf.” 

“Yeye.” Sunny nodded. “Exactly; sounds like a blast.” 

“Listen to Sunny, Klaus,” Violet said, “Manhunts are fun. And oh…” she shook her head and smiled, “Will it be satisfying to stab that bastard.” 

“Kill!” Sunny agreed cheerily. 

“So, how do we make sure he follows us?” Isadora asked. 

“Easy. We go out in the fucking open, and he’ll spot us. He always seems to.” 

“So we just… don’t make an effort?” 

“Hell, we’ll find a bus station near Dark Avenue. Get to the city that way.” Violet said. “But make sure he doesn’t catch up to us until we’re on the bus. Everyone have your weapons?” 

Duncan and Isadora nodded, putting a hand on their knives. Sunny bit her finger, smiling and nodding as well. 

“Yeah, Sunny, you are staying the Sunnybag.” Violet ordered, and Sunny flipped her off. “Klaus, you stick with her. Quagmires, hand on one of us at all times unless we have to fight. We move off now.” 

They nodded, and stood up. Violet, though she just told everyone to leave, stopped a moment, looking back at the nursery. Then, slowly, she lifted the music box, and slid it into her bag. 

Nobody else said anything. 

When they left the house, the Baudelaires walked backwards for a bit, so they could look up at the mansion. It was still standing, and the outside didn’t quite look as rough as the inside. 

It might’ve been a nice place to live. 

“The bus station’s this way.” Duncan said, glancing at the map. He wasn’t quite as good as Quigley would’ve been, but he could figure out where the bus was from their position. 

“We haven’t been spotted yet.” Klaus said. 

“It’s no loss if we’re not. Just means it’ll take longer for him to catch up.” Violet whispered. “That’s fi- and boom goes the dynamite.” 

“What?” 

Violet gestured with her head, and Klaus looked over to see, in a doorway of a post office, that Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender, a confused look on their face, was staring right at them. 

“We run in five.” Violet said calmly, as she reached out and grabbed Duncan’s hand. “One, two…” 

The Henchperson slowly stepped out of the doorway, and Klaus said, “Five.” 

He grabbed onto Isadora, and the Baudelaires took off running, dragging their friends behind them as they rounded the bend. “Keep going, he needs to think we’re afraid or he’ll get suspicious.” Violet muttered as Duncan let out a startled noise, and Sunny helpfully let out a cry, just so the Henchperson knew which direction they were going in. They seemed to be a slow runner, so Violet even paused a second after rounding the second bend, just to make sure the Henchperson saw them enter the bus station. 

She raced up to the ticket counter, passed Duncan’s hand to Klaus’s, and reached into her pocket, slamming as much money as she could grab in front of the woman. “Five tickets to VFD, four children and one baby.” 

“Nota!” Sunny called. 

“Sorry, four children and one toddler. She’s been getting better at walking.” 

The ticket person glanced at the money, at a chart on the side and said, “You’re just in time, that bus is about to leave.” 

“Yeah, we hoped so.” Violet said. She pushed the money at the ticket salesperson and said, “Keep all the change and if someone comes by asking for us, tell them which bus we went on, but give them the wrong directions to the bus station.” 

The salesperson opened their mouth to question, looked down at the handful of cash, and then shrugged and nodded, handing over the tickets. “Station thirteen.” 

Violet directed Klaus to follow her and ran towards their station. Klaus trailed quickly behind her, Sunny still on his chest and with one hand gripping to each Quagmire. Isadora and Duncan kept their heads down, clinging to Klaus and trying not to be noticed by the crowd moving to and fro buses, muttering or laughing to themselves and not noticing the panicked, dirty group of children rushing for station thirteen. 

They reached the bus just after the last man in line boarded, and Violet raced in, throwing her tickets at the driver, waving at him, and then turning around, eyes darting between seats. She finally dragged her group over to the back seat, large enough for them all to squeeze into, and they settled down, breathing hard, shoving their bags off and glancing to each other to make sure they’d all made it.

Isadora was nearest to the window when the bus finally left the station, and she peered out, whispering, “Yeah, that Henchperson’s heading this way. Won’t make it in time, but they’ll know which bus we took.” 

“Good.” Violet says. “Gives us quite a bit of time, especially since they seem to be alone. Must be a scout ahead.” 

Isadora sighed and turned back, kicking her legs as Duncan leaned onto Klaus’s shoulder. Klaus jumped, and Duncan, not even noticing, muttered, “I’m going back to sleep. Wake me up when we get there.” 

“Srac,” Sunny said, which meant something like, “It might be a long drive.” 

“Good. Long nap.” Duncan said. He yawned, grabbing Klaus’s arm and curling up some more. 

Isadora smiled, and said, “What, Duncan, we’re not going to do the song?” 

Violet took a quick break from watching the roads pass by out the bus window to turn in confusion. “The what?” 

“We- when we were on long car trips, we’d do a song.” Isadora giggled. “Cause Quigley used to be scared of long car rides and Mother wanted him to stop crying all the damn time so we made a game of it…” 

She fell silent, staring down at her hands, and Violet shared a quick look with her siblings. Singing on a crowded bus would draw attention to them, and they already had Olaf’s attention, they didn’t need anyone else’s. It would probably be a bad idea. 

Klaus shrugged, and Sunny giggled, and Violet smiled over at Isadora. “How does it go?” 

“What?” 

“The song. How’s it go?” 

Isadora’s face lit up, and Duncan sat up a little, rubbing his eyes and smiling. She kicked her legs a little, and then sang, “Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, did gyre and gimble in the wabe!” 

Duncan smiled and sang the next line softly. “All mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe.” 

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!” 

“Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch…” 

When the bus stopped, and the driver called for departers at VFD, Violet looked out the window in confusion, signalled to the others to stay put, and then wandered down the aisle, over to the driver. 

“Where is it?” she asked. “This is just empty space.” 

“It’s over there.” the driver pointed out the window, and Violet squinted, seeing what looked like a dot on the horizon. “I don’t go any closer. That Council of Elders freaks me out.” 

Violet didn’t remember shit about a ‘Council of Elders’ in VFD, so she assumed that meant either this VFD was coincidentally named, or some weird shit had gone down in the cult since her parents left. She sighed, reached into her bag, and pulled out another fistful of cash. 

“You drop us off closer and then abandon us and you get this as a tip.” 

He considered, then shrugged. “So long as I don’t get burned at the stake.” 

“Won’t happen.” Violet assured him, shoved the money into his hands, and then walked back to the backseat. 

She glanced over the group; Duncan had fallen asleep on Klaus’s shoulder, and Klaus had fallen asleep on Isadora’s, while she stared out the window and bounced a snoring Sunny on her knee. She sat back as the bus started again, and said, “We’re almost there. We should wake them up.” 

Isadora nodded, and then absent-mindedly fixed Sunny’s ponytail. “What do we do when we get there?” 

“We find an abandoned building, wait for Olaf to come, and kill him.” Violet said simply. “Once Olaf is dead, we’ll either interrogate the troupe or search the town to find where he stashed our parents. We have weapons, we can set traps-” 

“What if he escapes?” 

“That’s a possibility, not gonna lie. We can also find an escape vehicle in case we have to retreat. We won’t split up, so that he can’t corner any of us. Sunny’s getting a bit big for her bag, but we can either extend the straps or make sure someone’s holding her at all times.” 

“What if he captures someone?” Isadora turned to Violet, pleading with her eyes. “What if he gets Duncan? I won’t let him take my brother away.” 

Violet took a deep breath, and took Isadora’s hand. 

“That won’t happen.” she promised. “If he takes someone, it’s kill on sight.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.” Violet said. “Keep your knife on you at all times.” 

Isadora nodded, and then moved to wake up Klaus. 

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

Did the Baudelaire parents train their kids in combat or something in runaways?

oh HELL fuckin yeah they do. 

Violet is INCREDIBLY well-trained in lots of different combat forms, mainly because she’s a quick learner in those regards. She’s also pretty useful with throwing knives and smokebombs she made herself.

This is probably the AU where Klaus is at his most competent in a fight, and even now he’s not great. But he can throw a decent punch, get out of a hold, and use weapons pretty decently. 

Sunny can and WILL bite through anything.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Thirty-Six - One Last Telegram

Sunny kept driving while Klaus knelt by Duncan, waiting until they were far enough away from the town to even talk to them about removing the dagger. The blade, it seemed, had hit his shoulder and fallen a bit before finding its place to stick. They’d managed to get Duncan’s shirt off enough to bandage the blood above the blade, but removing the knife altogether was going to be a challenge. 

“He won’t bleed much in the wound itself,” Klaus explained to them, grabbing one of Duncan’s hands to squeeze it, “because the knife is working as a plug. That strip of fabric Violet got me is blocking the bit it swiped but we still need to-” 

“Why does this matter?” Isadora wailed. Now that Duncan was a little bandaged, she could hug him more, though she still couldn’t do more than just hold him up a little, her arm around him as she pressed her brother to her chest and laid a jacket over him to keep him a little warm in the night air. She hadn’t stopped crying at all. 

“I need to explain what I’m doing.” Klaus said, glancing at Violet, who was curled up and nodding along to whatever he said. “In case this happens again-” 

“It can’t. We’re not letting this happen again!” 

“I know, Isadora, I know, but you need to know how this is going. If I explain it, it won’t be as scary. Duncan, are you listening?” 

Duncan nodded numbly. Honestly, he was disassociating quite a bit, his mind elsewhere to distract from the tight bandage above the goddamn dagger stuck in his shoulder. 

“And Sunny, you okay up there? Do you need Violet to take over?” 

“Ohkee!” Sunny called. “I’m alright, just help Duncan!” 

Klaus sighed and scooted closer to the Quagmires. He squeezed Duncan’s hand again, putting a hand on his cheek. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to take care of this.” Only after Duncan finally nodded did Klaus look up at the sobbing Isadora. He moved his free hand from Duncan’s cheek to her shoulder. “We’re going to be okay. Violet?” 

“Yeah?” Violet asked, crawling forwards as the truck bounced over a rock. 

“Help Isa.” 

Violet nodded, brushing Isadora’s hair out of her face for her. “Isa, I promise, we’re going to take care of him. We know first aid, he is going to be okay.” 

Isadora took several deep breaths, trying her best to calm down. When she was finally able to speak again, she said, “Duncan, does it hurt?” 

It took Duncan a moment to process her question. “It’s really warm. Really hot.” 

“That’s not great, I won’t lie.” Klaus said. He put a hand on Duncan’s cheek again, and then said, “Isa, you’re going to have to let him go a little, so I can get the knife out without hurting him. I’m going to need your help, and Violet’s, but you’re going to have to let him go.” 

Isadora took a deep breath and then nodded, slowly letting Klaus lift Duncan off her. 

“Duncan, lay on your stomach, and let us know if anything hurts.” 

Duncan nodded numbly, and Klaus slowly laid him down, before squatting in front of him and putting his hands on his shoulder, just above the blade. 

“Violet, I need gloves. Those’ll be in your bag.” 

Violet nodded and dug into her bag. She finally found the small box of gloves in the first aid kit, and handed them over. Klaus put on the gloves and said, “Now, Isadora, how much blood do you think he’s lost?” 

“What the fuck, Klaus?” Isadora shouted. 

“Humans can lose a pint of blood without severe effects,” Klaus recited, “But two pints could lead to shock. Do you think he’s in shock?” 

“I-I’m fine.” Duncan muttered. “I just… I’m tired.” 

“Stay awake, Duncan.” Klaus said, his face falling for just a second in panic, before he fixed his expression and put a hand over Duncan’s. “It doesn’t seem to have hit an artery, because you’re still alive right now.” 

“Klaus, little less blunt please.” Violet said, scooting back to Isadora and putting an arm around her. 

Klaus nodded and reached into his bag, finding a small cloth. He placed it on his lap and moved to the side closer to the knife, and then said, “Girls, I need you to keep him calm. I am going to pull the knife out and apply pressure to the wound for a few minutes. As soon as that’s done, we need to reposition Duncan so his shoulder is elevated slightly above his heart, to stop blood loss from occurring so fast. Isadora, that’s where your big sister hugs will work.” 

“I’m actually six minutes younger.” Isadora muttered, though she and Violet moved over to her brother. Violet put her hands on Duncan’s arm, rubbing him to calm him down, while Isadora sat in front of her triplet and said, “It’s going to be okay.” 

Klaus took a deep breath, and then grabbed the handle of the dagger. “Duncan, I’m taking it out. Stay calm.” 

Duncan nodded, and Klaus counted to three and then slowly edged the knife out. Duncan let out a panicked shout, and Isadora quickly grabbed his hand as Klaus tossed the knife to the corner of the trunk and pressed the cloth to the wound, trying to stop the blood as fast as possible. 

“When he’s elevated, I can try cleaning the wound,” Klaus said, “I should have enough water and there should be some salt in the Sunnybag, but we haven’t got antibiotic ointment, we ran out of that right before the beach.” 

Violet shut her eyes. “The beach seems so long ago.” 

“And I will not be able to close the wound.” Klaus said. “In case the cleaning doesn’t work, if we close the wound it’ll trap bacteria into it. We need to find somewhere with the medications we'll need.” 

“How soon do we need to do that?” Isadora asked. 

“Usually, if you’re not sure of a knife wound’s stability,” Klaus recited, remembering a book his mother had given him, “It’s usually recommended, actually, to wait seventy-two hours before closing. But even leaving it open, we’re gonna need some kind of ointment. Violet, I’m gonna need another bandage.” 

“Blood ribbon?” 

“Won’t be long enough.” 

Violet nodded and reached into her bag, pulling out the torn shirt from the last bandage, ripping it more. 

“So, we’re going to need to get someplace with ointment or medication.” Isadora said. 

Klaus nodded, and then looked up. “And it looks like we have quite some time before reaching a building, so this is the best we have right now.” 

Isadora bit her lip, and then said, “It’s better than nothing.” 

Sunny got tired after a few hours, so Violet took over driving. Isadora sat in the back with Duncan for a bit, but after her brother fell asleep, she eventually left Klaus and Sunny in charge of making sure he didn’t wake up or his bandages didn’t get removed, and scooted to the shotgun seat. She glanced back on occasion, seeing Klaus laying beside her triplet and staring up at the sky while Sunny snored inbetween them, but mainly she stared out the window as the sky darkened and then grew bright again. 

After a while, Violet said, “I’m sorry. This… this wasn’t supposed to happen-” 

“Yeah, I sure hope it wasn’t.�� Isadora said, a slight chuckle in her voice. Surprised, Violet turned to her, and Isadora said, “Listen. We knew what we were signing up for. It’s better than whatever Olaf would do to us if we weren’t running.” 

“But-” 

“I’m mad, Violet, but not at you. You’re protecting us, this isn’t your fault.” Isadora said. “I’m… I wanna find who stabbed him and cut their arm off, though.” 

“Unless it’s Olaf, who I want to get to kill,” Violet smiled slightly, “You got dibs.” 

“Valid.” Isadora sighed. 

They fell silent until the car ride ended, which was unfortunately within the hour. Violet noticed the low tank of gas and parked them at the first building that came into view- a short convenience stop entitled the Last Chance General Store. 

Sunny yawned and sat up, blearily blinking her eyes, before calling, “Uhyiah?” “Why’re we stopping?” 

“Out of gas.” Violet said, as she climbed out, making her way into the trunk of the car as Klaus and Duncan sat up, almost bumping into each other with how close they’d ended up. “Plus, we might be able to get some ointment at the convenience store. Klaus, do you know what you’ll need?” 

He nodded, glancing over at Duncan and then quickly glancing away before his face could get too red. 

“You guys can probably freshen up in the bathroom while we do this.” Violet said. “Make sure your bags are with you. Klaus and I’ll talk to the owner. If you get out before we’re done, just swipe some food.” 

“We’re still not super good at that.” Duncan said. 

“Lucky for you, we can be a good distraction. Also, you’ll have Sunny with you.” Violet shrugged. “Come on, let’s move out.” 

Duncan nodded and sat up, flinching at a sudden pain in his shoulder. Klaus threw his arm around to steady him, and Isadora, finally making her way over, said, “Duncan, do you need help?” 

“I- I should be fine- I just…. fuck.” 

“It’s okay, it’s not going to heal overnight. You got sliced and stabbed.” Klaus said. 

Duncan groaned, as Klaus helped him off the back of the firetruck. “I’m going to have to be super careful with those throwing knives.” 

“Pretty much, yeah.” 

Violet scanned the signs outside the store, not seeing much interesting, and said, “Okay, come on, let’s go in. Isadora, help Duncan if he needs it, and take Sunny- there ya go. See you in a minute.” 

She held open the door a moment, watching her friends and baby sister rush in and duck down an aisle, looking for the restroom, and then she and Klaus ran to the counter, where a man was dusting something. Without looking up, he said, “Is that you, Lou?” 

“Nope.” Violet said. “But we have some requests.” 

Klaus flipped open his commonplace book, where he’d quickly jotted what he’d need. “Which aisle would have the antibiotic ointment?” 

The man blinked over at them. “Do I know you?” 

Violet sighed. “We’re customers, we need- what is it, Klaus?”

“Antibiotic ointment, cloth bandages, mild soap-” 

“Oh, we need gas, too.” Violet added. 

The man behind the counter sighed. “Well, we ain’t got any of that, kid. We got sticky bandages, though.” 

“That’s… not gonna help.” Klaus said. 

“What about gas?” Violet asked. “If we can get somewhere else-” 

“We don’t have a lot of gas, and prices just went up.” the man shrugged. 

“Does anyone get free gas?” Violet asked, and then hesitantly, “Any… volunteers of any kind?” 

The man, not even look phased, nodded. “Yeah, those Volunteers Fighting Disease come by everyday for their free gas. But they only get it because they’re doing such good work at Heimlich Hospital.” 

Violet and Klaus shared a look, and then Klaus said, “Did you say, ‘hospital’?” 

“Yeah, Heimlich Hospital. VFD goes there every day.” 

“VFD, huh?” Violet asked. “How secretive are they?” 

“Pfft, ‘secrets.’ I don’t know any of their names, but I know they’re a good, honest folk.” 

“Do they ever use codes?” 

The man looked confused. “Codes? Not unless ‘codes’ is the new teen slang for ‘endless repetitive songs.’ Why?” 

Violet and Klaus shared another look, and another silent conversation. Then Klaus said, “We might have some relatives there. Perhaps we could meet up with them when they arrive.” 

“Well, they should be here in only a few minutes-” 

“Sounds good.” Violet nodded, smiling. “Thank you so much for your help, where is the bathroom?” 

“Right by the telegram machine.” 

Violet shut her eyes, and Klaus smiled awkwardly. “Telegrams. Cool.” 

His sister smiled slightly, grabbing his hand. “Y-yes.” she sighed, and brushed a hair out of her face. “I suppose there’s no use for the rhyme.” 

“Come on.” Klaus tried to hide the slight crack in his voice as he smiled back at her, swinging their arms. “Maybe our Lemony-man sent us a last telegram.” 

“To here? Not likely, buddy.” 

The man squinted at them. “Did you say his name was ‘Lemony’?” 

Violet snapped to attention, whipping her head to stare at him, and Klaus said, “No way.” 

“Is that the Volunteer you’re waiting for?” 

Violet took a deep breath. “Um, you could say that. He’s- he’s my father.” 

“He’s our father.” Klaus nodded. 

“Ah, then I can finally get ridda this.” the man reached below the counter, and pulled out a piece of paper. “Maybe when the van stops by-” 

“We’ll take it.” Violet said, grabbing it from him. “Thanks so much. When did this arrive?” 

“God, months ago.” the man rolled his eyes. “Your ol’ dad stopped by, asked a bunch of weird questions about the Library of Records at the hospital, and then sent a telegram. He said to hold any responses for him til he got back, but here we are.” 

“Library of Records?” Klaus asked. 

“Hell if I know.” the man shrugged. “Where the hell has your father been? Why didn’t he come back sooner?” 

Violet swallowed. “He’s been very busy.”

“Well, glad you finally picked it up. Was about to throw that shit away.” 

“Thank you, you’ve been a great help.” Violet said. She and Klaus smiled and waved, and then raced to the bathroom. 

As they arrived, they saw Isadora open the door, holding it as Duncan and Sunny left, the latter clutching onto one of Duncan’s fingers in order to keep her balance as she walked. They’d freshened up as best they could, but they still didn’t really look clean or well, and Isadora quickly said, “Yeah, I dunno how to replace bandages, Klaus, can-” 

“Lemon-Man sent us a telegram.” Violet said, so fast they could barely hear her. 

Sunny’s eyes lit with excitement, and she started squealing. She released Duncan’s hand in order to clap and bounce, and she cheered, “Ebag?” “So he’s still alive?” 

Klaus sighed and shook his head. “No, Sunny, this telegram is from months ago, and it’s to him, Violet, he didn’t send us-” 

“He might as well have.” Violet said. She sat on the floor, and Sunny quickly scampered onto her lap. Klaus sat beside her as Violet laid the telegram on the floor, and Isadora and Duncan quickly completed the circle, sitting down and looking over. 

RU BLF WL MLG GSRMP BLF ZIV HZUV GSVM DSB WLM'G BLF XLNV SVIV HGLK DV XZM KILGVXG BLF HGLK BLF ZIV HGROO LFI UIRVMW VEVM ZUGVI DSZG SZKKVMVW ZMW ZUGVI ZOO GSRH GRNV HGLK RU BLF XSLLHV GL XLNV DV DROO DVOXLNV BLF HGLK SLDVEVI RU BLF WL MLG DV DROO HGROO ZHHRHG BLF DRGS GSV HKORGGRMT LU GSV YZFWVOZRIV UROV HGLK QFHG GL XOZIRUB LMV-GSRIW RH GL YV HVMG GL GSV OZHG HZUV KOZXV ZMW LMV-GSRIW GL GSV ORYIZIB LU IVXLIWH ULI BLF GL KRXP FK DSROV DV DROO PVVK GSV OZHG GSRIW SVIV HGLK DV KILNRHV DV DROO WL ZMBGSRMT GL SVOK BLFI UZNROB HGLK MLYLWB WVHVIEVH GL TILD FK LM GSV IFM HGLK

“That looks like nonsense.” Duncan said. “Gibberish.”

“It’s code.” Violet said. “Mother and Father were really good at these, but we don’t even know which code they're using.” 

“Do you see any number signs, or just letters?” Klaus asked. “That could narrow it down.” 

“No numbers.” Isadora said, scanning it quickly. 

“How about,” Duncan suggested, “We see who it’s from?” 

“That is also coded.” Violet said, pointing to the FROM box. 

“But no numbers,” Klaus said, “Means we can rule out A1Z26. How many words are there?” 

Violet, the engineer of the group, was the best at math and numbers, so she quickly counted. “Are we counting hyphens as one word or two?”

“One.” 

“Then one-hundred seventeen.” 

“Could be Sebald.” 

“Ni.” Sunny shook her head, and then said, “Yllas,” meaning, “Sebald is words inbetween words, not gibberish.” 

“You’re right, Sunny.” Klaus said. 

“Lemme see.” Duncan swiveled the paper towards him. 

“Careful.” Isadora said, quickly throwing an arm around him. 

“I’m fine.” Duncan flinched. “It just stings a little.” 

“A little?” Isadora raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay, it hurts a lot, but only when I move.” 

“That’s not good!” 

“It’ll feel worse if you get infected.” Klaus said, scooting beside Duncan and looking down at the message. “What do you know about codes?” 

“We used to do codes for fun cause we stole codebooks from our parents’ study.” Duncan paused. “You think that was VFD shit?” 

“Most definitely, but we can talk about that later.” Violet said. 

“Well, here’s what I’m thinking.” Duncan said. “You look for common letters- or!” his eyes lit up. “A common word.” 

“What?” 

“Unless this is Vigenere- in which case, we’re fucked, I hate that shit,” Duncan explained, “The same word will be spelled the same multiple times- for example, ‘the’ will have the same three letters. And on telegrams, what’s the most common word?” 

Klaus and Isadora shrugged, but Violet said, “‘Stop’ is used instead of a period.” 

“So we look for four letter words that are the same, and start there.” Duncan said. Klaus pulled a pencil from his pocket and leaned over. After a moment, he said, “I’m seeing three- no, there’s four- there’s a lot of ‘HGLK’” 

“Circle all of them.” Violet directed. Klaus nodded, and Duncan and Isadora helped by pointing out where they spotted an HGLK. 

“HGLK…” Violet shut her eyes pulling out a ribbon. “Klaus, what-” 

“Atbash.” Klaus said quickly. “That’s an atbash.” 

“Atwha?” Sunny asked. 

“Yeah, which one was that?” Isadora asked. 

As Klaus pulled out his commonplace book and started furiously writing out a translation, Violet said, “The atbash cipher is a substitution cipher, taking the alphabet and mapping it in reverse. So A is Z, B is Y, et cetera. So when you write… say you’re writing ‘Quagmire.’ Opposite the letter Q is ‘J’, and opposite U is ‘F’, and eventually your name would be spelled…” 

She paused, trying to think, but Duncan quickly said, “J-F-Z-T-N-R-I-V.” 

“Yes.” Violet nodded. “That seems right.” 

“I think we’re on the right track.” Klaus said, writing as fast as he could. 

“What’s the message?” Isadora asked. 

“Well, I haven’t processed any of it yet.” Klaus admitted, without looking up from the telegram. “I’m just going word-by-word, just gimme a minute.” 

“Klaus is the best decoder in the family.” Violet said. 

“Ours was Quigley.” Isadora sighed. “He was way too good at it.” 

They were silent as Klaus completed his translation, and then tossed the pen down. “Okay… we ready to see what they said to Lemony?” 

Violet grabbed Sunny’s small hand and squeezed it, nodding. 

Klaus adjusted his glasses, and read aloud, 

IF YOU DO NOT THINK YOU ARE SAFE THEN WHY DON'T YOU COME HERE STOP WE CAN PROTECT YOU STOP YOU ARE STILL OUR FRIEND EVEN AFTER WHAT HAPPENED AND AFTER ALL THIS TIME STOP IF YOU CHOOSE TO COME WE WILL WELCOME YOU STOP HOWEVER IF YOU DO NOT WE WILL STILL ASSIST YOU WITH THE SPLITTING OF THE BAUDELAIRE FILE STOP JUST TO CLARIFY ONE-THIRD IS TO BE SENT TO THE LAST SAFE PLACE AND ONE-THIRD TO THE LIBRARY OF RECORDS FOR YOU TO PICK UP WHILE WE WILL KEEP THE LAST THIRD HERE STOP WE PROMISE WE WILL DO ANYTHING TO HELP YOUR FAMILY STOP NOBODY DESERVES TO GROW UP ON THE RUN STOP

As Klaus finished speaking, they all stared at each other, a heavy feeling spreading through the group. 

“Baudelaire File?” Violet asked. “What’s that?” 

“Who was he talking to?” Isadora took the telegram, flipping it around and picking up Klaus’s pencil. 

“Algernon?” Sunny asked. “What’s the Last Safe Place or Library of Records?” 

“The Library of Records is at the Heimlich Hospital.” Violet said, turning. “If he never got this message, he never picked it up.” 

“Which means it’s still there.” Klaus said. 

“Okay, this answers nothing.” Isadora sighed, putting down the telegram. “The message was sent from a ‘Black Cat Coffee.’ Anyone know where that is?” 

Not processing Isadora’s words for a moment, Violet said, “And if it’s still there-” 

“Then our ride-” 

Violet clapped her hands together and said, “Well, aren’t things finally looking up for us?” 

The Bearded Man swung open the door and smiled. “Hello! Fellow Volunteers?” 

The five children stood there, wearing their biggest smiles. “Yes.” Violet said sweetly. “Don’t you remember?” 

He didn’t respond, only saying, “Come on in, brothers and sisters! We’re headed right off to Heimlich Hospital!”

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Thirty-Five - We lost our opportunity for “Home Alone”, thanks Jacques

Violet sat at the edge of their map, sketching while she talked. “Beatrice and Bertrand faked their deaths with Lemony’s help. He snuck them out of the city.” 

“No.” Jacques shook his head. “No, Lemony was investigated at that time-” 

“And he was smarter than you little shits.” Violet shrugged. 

“Beatrice and Bertrand would’ve gone to our organization for protection.” 

“Likely.” Violet rolled her eyes. 

“They’ve been on the run the last fifteen years.” Klaus said. “And ended up with us.” 

“Then Olaf found-” Violet shut her eyes a moment, taking a deep breath. 

Isadora, noticing her discomfort, picked up. “Olaf found they were in contact with Lemony. That’s… how he died.” 

Jacques didn’t say anything. 

“He faked a telegram and summoned them to Lemony’s place,” Duncan said, “And then kidnapped their parents.” 

“We escaped.” Violet muttered, reaching into her ponytail and pulling her ribbon out of her hair, wrapping it around her fingers. “Olaf’s been following us, killing anyone near us. We had to take Duncan and Isadora because they caught his attention and- and we can’t let anything happen to them.” 

“We can’t keep running this time.” Klaus said. 

“Kill.” Sunny nodded. 

Klaus shut his eyes, and translated. “We have to kill Olaf before he can kill us and our parents.” 

“Children…” Jacques said. “This is very serious. You should’ve gone to the authorities-” 

“The police will arrest our parents and VFD sucks.” Violet said. “We are on our own. Olaf killed your brother, don’t you want him dead?” 

Jacques stared at the paper beneath him. “All I know is Lemony died in a fire at Valorous Farms Dairy.” 

“Because Olaf killed him to get to us.” Violet said. 

Jacques sighed. “I can’t say I didn’t suspect… but I- I heard he may be heading this way, so I came to investigate rumors he was involved with the recent Paltryville riots.” 

“Well, he is heading this way, we’re here and he’ll come for us.” Violet said. 

Duncan hesitated, before pulling his commonplace book out. “Did you say Paltryville riots?” 

“Yes.” 

“Would… that include the death of Georgina Orwell?” 

Violet and Klaus stiffened, and Jacques said, “How do you know about that?” 

“Um.” Isadora said. 

“Bitch.” Sunny sighed. 

“Jacques, just leave Olaf alone, let us handle him or help us kill him.” Violet said. 

“Violet, you cannot just kill him.” Jacques said. “We can have the authorities handle this. Justice will be served.” 

“Justice is watching him die.” Violet said. 

“Mr Jacques, with all due respect,” Klaus said, “You weren’t there. He told our parents he was going to torture and kill us in front of them. He will if he gets a hold of us. He needs to die, and so does everyone helping him.” 

“Children, we can figure this out.” Jacques said. “Listen, we’ll just go to headquarters-” 

Within an instant, Violet’s knife was in her hands again, pointed directly at him. “Call VFD here and Olaf will be the least of your worries.” 

“Violet!” Jacques sighed. “Listen, I just think…” he looked pointedly at the Quagmires. “If you go to our organization, you might find… several good things.” 

“VFD stays out of this.” Violet hissed. “We kill Olaf, we find where he stashed our parents, and then we leave. We get the Quagmires somewhere safe and then go back on the run until we figure out something to do, and you will not tell your organization shit because we have knives and a very angry disposition.” 

“Frater,” Sunny said, which meant something like, “Also, Lemony wouldn’t want you to.” 

“Children-” 

“This is not open for discussion.” Violet said sharply. “The last time someone contacted VFD, two men died- Sebald and Montgomery.” 

Jacques shut his eyes. “May I… speak to the Quagmires privately?” 

“No, you may not.” Isadora said. 

“We’re not splitting up for any extended amount of time.” Duncan said. 

“And also, we should get going.” Violet said. “We’re going to set a trap in the second floor. Will you join us or are you going to hang out down here and mope?” 

Jacques sighed and sat back. Then, finally, he said, “You really are just like your parents. Beatrice was just as stubborn, Lemony also wouldn’t let anyone get a word in edgewise, and you’ve got that spark in your eyes that Bertrand had when he had a plan.” 

“And it’s a good plan.” Violet said, hiding a smile. “We’re going up.” 

“Call us if you need us, Uncle Jacques.” Klaus said, picking up Sunny. 

Jacques mostly kept to himself on the first floor of the firehouse, so the children quietly got to work on the second floor. They brought the map up with them, and eventually managed to drag the rulebook from the shelf and to the top of the firepole to toss down if need be. Duncan boarded the windows, Violet and Isadora marked several floorboards that would be easy to break, and Sunny banged on an empty beer bottle with a spoon and sang a rather repetitive song she’d written herself. While that was going on, Klaus went over their supplies, muttering and trying to find something good to set them up with. 

“I think if we put a tripwire under the door-” Klaus began. 

“We’re using the rulebook for the firepole, Klaus.” Violet reminded him. 

“I know, I know, but we could probably use the force of gravity, put a rock on a high shelf-” 

“Do you have a rock?” 

“Violet,” Klaus sighed, “There are rocks outside.” 

“We could attach Sunny to the wire,” Duncan laughed slightly, picking her up as she cheered and dropped her spoon, “And have her bite his head off.” 

Sunny growled and giggled and waved her arms. 

“Not risking it, but good backup plan.” Violet snorted. “Have you got the windows?” 

“I think so. I’m not great with a hammer but I got the boards up.” 

“It’s just slamming it into a nail, Duncan, don’t be an idiot.” Isadora said. 

“Listen, I have no motor skills or upper body strength.” 

“Have you considered not being a weak-ass bitch?” 

Violet laughed. “Alright, it’s getting late. I’ll take first watch, the rest of you chill.” 

“We can’t chill, we’re committing premeditated murder in self defense.” Duncan whined, giving her pleading eyes, which caused her to laugh quite a bit. 

“Let’s just lure him here now and throw a knife at his head.” Isadora said. 

“We don’t even know if he’s here yet.” Klaus reminded her. “And if we’re all tired-” 

“Yeah, yeah, we’ve got the drill.” Isadora sighed. She found her bag, digging out her blanket. “Maybe we could strangle him with this.” 

“A rope would be better. Maybe we should’ve saved the one from Dark Avenue.” Violet said. 

As she sat beside the rulebook, looking down the hole, Sunny turned her. “Woc?” she asked. “Are we sure we can trust Jacques?” 

“Absolutely not, so the guard on watch has to make sure he doesn’t do anything idiotic.” Violet said. “If he comes up here make sure he doesn’t drag anyone off by the ankles.” 

Duncan curled against the wall, smiling as Klaus sat beside him and leaning his head on his shoulder, settling Sunny on his lap. “I feel bad for him. Like, he must’ve been in there for a while.” 

“Lemony was abducted as an infant, so, yeah.” Violet nodded. 

“Why do you think he wanted to talk to us?” Isadora asked. 

“You’re easier targets.” Klaus shrugged. “Two of you, less experience on the run, more prone to be friendly to the cult.” 

“As if.” Isadora snorted. 

“That’s enough chatter.” Violet sighed. “Everyone shut up and go to sleep.” 

“Sing?” Sunny asked, looking up from Duncan’s lap as she grabbed his jacket and wrapped it over her like a blanket. 

“Guard probably shouldn’t sing. Won’t help the guarding.” Violet said. 

“I can sing, though.” Duncan giggled, wrapping his arms around Sunny and leaning more onto Klaus. “Our Father loved this one- It was such a fine spring day, down Lou’siana way, with fragrance divine…” 

“And such magnificent regalia,” Isadora sang along gently, wrapping her own blanket around her._ “Oh, so fine, Azalea.” _

“Oh, what a lovely sight, in red, pink and white! Can’t help but believe…” 

“That nothing evil can assail you, so naïve, Azalea…” 

Violet sat at the edge of the hole and kicked her feet, hitting against the pole every now and again. She heard Jacques writing something down below, and the fading voices of the others slowly drifting off to sleep, but she kept herself focused on her watch. 

Just keep an eye out, Vi. Keep them safe. 

Violet knew she should’ve waken someone else up for a watch, but instead she sat by the hole for a while, enjoying the silence. Eventually she laid down on the floor, staring at the ceiling and trying not to fall asleep. 

She failed pretty fast, but thankfully she was awoken by a door slamming. 

As soon as she recognized the sound, she sat up straight, her hair flying into her face. She quickly tied it back, peering down the hole and listening. No noises. And no movements. Likely someone had gone outside. Probably Jacques… fuck. 

She ran to the other children, quickly pushing them and darting between sleeping bodies until they all sat up, groaning. 

“We have a situation.” she muttered. “Jacques has left the building.” 

Klaus glanced around. “What time is it? Why didn’t-” 

“Jacques has left the building.” Violet hissed. 

Duncan turned to the nearest window, froze, and said, “I’m starting to see the downsides of boarding up the windows.” 

Sunny gave him a look, crawled over to the firepole, and immediately slid down. 

“Fucking- Sunny!” Violet shouted. 

She groaned, and Duncan jumped to his feet. “You get the bags, we’ll get Sunny.” he said quickly. 

Isadora and Klaus quickly nodded, and Violet ran to the pole, sliding down and running as soon as her feet hit the ground, her eyes darting around the room. She finally spotted Sunny crawling on a dusty, creaky chair in order to peer out the window. 

Violet slid to a stop beside her, and Sunny only blankly looked up and said, “Issi.” “Jacques is just standing outside. I think he’s just chilling.” 

“Sunny, for fuck’s sake, what did we say about splitting up?” Violet hissed. 

Sunny shrugged, as Duncan ran to the window and checked the outside. “Yeah. He’s just standing there- do you think he’s sending a message? Waiting for something?” 

“Ughe,” Sunny shrugged. “Maybe he’s just being a weirdo.” 

Violet peered into the dark. “Maybe he’s trying to guard. May- shut up.” 

They quieted, just as Klaus and Isadora slid down the firepole. Duncan gestured for them to be quiet, as Violet put her hands on Sunny’s shoulders and squinted. Another figure was emerging from the darkness, and Jacques started heading towards, holding his arms up. She caught a few muffled words- “remember… friends… do good again…” 

“He’s talking to someone.” Violet muttered. “I’m gonna hazard a guess, he’s doing something really stupid and trying to talk Olaf down.” 

“Fuck.” Isadora said. “We’re not ready.” 

“I was hoping for the element of surprise,” Violet muttered, “But we can still-” 

“He’s going to get himself killed.” Klaus muttered, his eyes wide. He stepped forwards towards the door, and Violet grabbed his arm and yanked him back. “Violet!” 

“I’m not letting you die because of his stupidity!” 

“We can’t just let someone else die for us- we can’t let Lemony’s brother-” 

“He made his choice.” Viole hissed. “We just need to do our best to kill Olaf before anything happens to us. We-” 

“Shh!” Klaus suddenly leapt forward and grabbed Violet’s shoulders, ducking her down. Duncan quickly grabbed Sunny and knelt down beside them, while Isadora backed up against the wall. 

At that, Klaus gestured to a far, stained window behind the bar. Outside was another figure, walking carefully, clearly straining to hear a sound inside. 

Isadora sunk to the floor, her face going pale as she shook slightly. Duncan crawled beside her, grabbing her hand, while the Baudelaires shared a look, as they heard shouting begin outside. 

“They’re surrounding the house.” Klaus gestured. “If we go out to attack, one of them could grab us.” 

Violet paused, and then signed, “Side door leads to the firetruck. We could get there and drive over him.” 

“They’ll hear the door open.” 

“We’ll have to run.” 

“What if they jump over the fence?” 

“We have knives, idiot.” 

Klaus nodded, and Violet shot him an encouraging smile before reaching over and squeezing his wrist. She turned to Sunny, who was hugging Duncan in an attempt to comfort him. Violet gave her a thumbs up, and then gestured to the sidedoor. Sunny’s eyes widened in realization, and then she beamed. 

Both of the older Baudelaires crawled over to the Quagmires, and Violet pointed to the door, and then to Isadora’s bag pocket that held the throwing knives. Then she held up three fingers, then two. The Quagmires nodded, but just as she lowered her finger to one… 

They jumped as they heard the sound a shot- a harpoon gun, firing off. They heard a gasp and a shout, and Klaus let out a cry. Instantly, Violet grabbed his arm, hauled him up, and shouted for them all to move. 

They were at the door in a matter of seconds, and Duncan curled around Sunny as Violet burst the door open and took off for the truck. They heard shouts, running footsteps towards the source of the noise… they likely had a few seconds before they found the broken boards and found their way into the fence… 

“Throw Sunny into the driver’s seat!” Violet called, and Duncan gave her a quizzical look. “Just do it and then jump in the back!” 

Duncan sighed and tossed the toddler, watching as she grabbed the window of the truck, hoisted herself through, and thumped onto the seat. 

Violet heard something whish behind her, and ducked Isadora down as a dart flew over their heads. They raced to the back of the truck as more things flew their way. Klaus occasionally glanced back to the driver’s seat, where they saw lights start up. Just as they reached the back of the truck, the engine began, and Violet leapt up, almost hitting the hose, and lifted Klaus in first, waiting until she was sure he was ducking against the wall before helping Isadora up. She then reached down for Duncan, who was trying to climb up himself as Sunny started shouting back for everyone to grab onto something. 

And just as Violet grabbed Duncan’s arm, starting to lift him, there was another whish, from the other direction, the one Violet hadn’t been expecting anything from. And in a flash, Duncan let out a piercing, pained shriek that made Violet’’s blood run cold. 

“No!” Isadora hurled herself forwards, just as Sunny hit the gas. 

The firetruck burst forwards, as Isadora and Violet gripped Duncan and hauled him up. Violet’s eyes darted upwards, just in time to see a figure atop the fence, trying to crawl over, reaching to grab another weapon. 

No, no, no… 

Isadora was screaming, and Violet whipped around as Isadora and Klaus pulled Duncan to the back of the trunk, trying to stop him from shouting so much. The car shook as Sunny burst through the fence, and Violet could hear shouts of people running away from it. 

“Roundabout!” Sunny called. “We’re facing away from Olaf, I could turn around though!” 

Violet glanced towards her sister, and then down at Duncan. Klaus’s panicked, shaking voice was telling Isadora to keep him down, and Isadora put her hands on Duncan’s back, tears already streaming down her face. Duncan, for his part, was doing his best to stay calm when he had a large, sharp dagger jutting out of his shoulder. 

“I- I don’t think it hit an artery-” 

“Could it have? Klaus, could it have-” 

“Shut up! I need to- to focus! Duncan, stay calm, we’re going to save you, just- just-” 

Violet shut her eyes, and then called to Sunny, “Keep driving! We need to get him somewhere safe!” 

Sunny didn’t question, and the truck drove off into the night. 

Violet gave herself a moment to process. Harpoon gun- Jacques was dead. She was sure of that. Olaf had shot him, and he or one of his henchpeople had just injured Duncan. Duncan… Duncan was going to need help. 

Sunny was… not the best driver of the group, and the truck swerved between streets, almost hitting mailboxes and porches. Klaus was struggling to help Duncan in such conditions, saying something about laying down, try not to move, Isadora _hold him in place, _Violet I need a bandage, everyone stay calm. 

It was a bit hard to stay calm, though, as the truck sped forwards.

[unfortunate-stranger-losers]

All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

{ao3} {tumblr} {masterlist}

Chapter Forty-Eight - Quigley’s Escape

Bertrand did manage to get the door shut right as the caravan started tumbling, so at least they wouldn’t fall out of that. But neither of them were in the mood to celebrate that, because both of them were absolutely horrified. 

“Beatrice!” Bertrand screamed, racing as best he could to the window. He looked through just before the caravan got out of sight of the car; it was still speeding along. “Beatrice!” 

Quigley screamed, and as the caravan wheel hit a rock, it jolted, and he fell, sliding down the floor and landing with a thump against the wall. He let out a cry, and Bertrand managed to pull himself out of his fear for a moment to race to his side, pulling him to his feet. 

“What do we do? What do we do?” Quigley asked. 

Bertrand tried to breathe slow, but it was a bit hard with everything going on. Beatrice, his Beatrice, his wife… she was still there, she was still there, she- she cut the rope- she- 

“We have to get out of here.” Bertrand finally said. He looked down at Quigley’s terrified eyes, and knew he had to pull himself together, keep it stable just for a while, just keep anything more from happening to him. He took a deep breath, and then looked around the caravan. It had a table, several cupboards… 

“Hammocks. Get the hammocks.” he said. 

Quigley nodded and raced to the hammocks, jumping to knock them down. Bertrand ran to the cupboards and threw them open, grabbing whatever sticky food he could find. He shoved it all into a pot and grabbed the nearest utensil- some kind of spatula, but he didn’t have time to complain or even find something else- and he started stirring it all together. 

Quigley got the hammocks down, and called, “What now?” 

“We need to tie them into a drag chute. Do you know what a drag chute is?” 

Quigley nodded. “But I can’t-” 

“Then pour this.” He handed the pot to Quigley. “It’s sticky. It won’t stop the wheels, but it’ll slow us until the drag chute is ready. Pour them out that window, back there, the way we’re falling.” 

Quigley nodded and ran to the window, managing to push it open and pulling himself up to pour out of it. Bertrand started tying as fast as he could, remembering the knot that Violet had excitedly taught him how to make when she was seven and going through her pirate phase. It was supposed to be sturdy, and by God did he hope it was. 

He ran to the other window, and reached through, ignoring a glass shard that scratched against his arm. He tied one end to the side, and then another, and gathered the middle in his arms. “I’m going to throw it out! Once it’s out, grab whatever you think might be useful, and we’re going to jump out this window!” 

“Is that safe?” 

“It’s safer than being here!” 

Bertrand tossed the chute, and then grabbed a nearby box- a chess set, looked like- and started pounding at the glass shards still remaining in the frame, trying to get as many of them out of the car as possible without them hitting the chute. 

After a moment, he tossed the set to the floor, and then ran to Quigley, who had a bundle of items he’d hastily grabbed in his arms. Bertrand glanced towards the kitchen, and quickly grabbed whatever food jars he could find, before saying, “We’re as slow as we’re going to get. We’re going to jump on three. Are you ready?” 

“If we wait until we’re ready,” Quigley shook, “We’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.” 

Bertrand gave him a sad smile. “One… two… three!” 

They ran and leapt at the window, Quigley first. They both fell onto the dirt ground, rolling slightly as they hit. Bertrand felt pain jolt throughout his body, but as he sat up, he was thankful to see that they’d gotten out just in time, as the caravan immediately skidded off the edge of a path, falling down a cliff. 

He turned, rushing over to Quigley, who was curled up around what he’d grabbed. He knelt beside him, dropping the food and helping him sit up. 

“Are you okay? What hurts?” 

“Everything… but, like, what’s new?” Quigley groaned. He huddled against his items, before turning to Bertrand with teary eyes. 

“It’s going to be okay.” Bertrand said. He glanced around, and said, “We’re in the Mortmain Mountains. We can…”

“What about Beatrice?” Quigley asked, shaking. “She’s still-” 

“I know. I know.” Bertrand tried to keep his voice from breaking as he put his hands on the boy’s shoulders. “But she knew what- she knew what she was doing. What’s important is we get you safe.” 

“N-no! We all need to be safe! I’m not more important than you!” 

Bertrand bit his lip. “But you’re our responsibility now, which means we do have to put you first. You’re here because of us, and we won’t let anything more happen to you.” He sighed, and then scooted back. “What did you grab?” 

Quigley hesitantly dropped his items onto the ground, scanning them. “Two coats, a sweatshirt, a knife, a ukulele and… I think this is a handmirror.” 

“Okay.” Bertrand sat down, eying the items. Carefully, he took the sweatshirt, folding it and tying the sleeves together into a handle. “This can function as a bag for a short trek. I have some food, get a coat on. You may have noticed it’s cold.” 

“Where are we again?” 

“The Mortmain Mountains. I’d guess Mount Fraught.” Bertrand narrowed his eyes. “There’s- the only thing close by is a VFD Headquarters, which would be about a day’s travel on foot.” 

“I thought you said we shouldn’t go there.” 

“No, but they’ll have food and supplies.” Bertrand said. “Either I’ll sneak in and get some, or you pose as a neophyte and get what we need. Once we have supplies, we can probably find a way out. Once we’re out, we can find the children, get you all somewhere safe, and…” 

He looked over, and his face fell slightly. He was finally getting a good look at Quigley, and it wasn’t good. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“How long have you had a black eye?” 

Quigley looked at the ground. ‘That… that was yesterday. After the hospital.” 

A fury rose in Bertrand, but he pushed it down. He leaned forwards and hugged Quigley close to him, and Quigley swiftly pressed himself as close to the man as he could, clinging to him tight. 

“You were very brave.” Bertrand said. “You still are. You’re a brave young boy, you know that?” 

“I- I-” 

“And we can’t thank you enough, for trying to save our Violet.” Bertrand pulled away, trying not to cry, and instead wiping a tear from Quigley’s cheek. “You have been so brave, every step on these horrible… these unfortunate events.” 

Quigley took a breath, and then smiled a little. “My- my parents used to say, that sometimes what- what might seem like a series of unfortunate events may, in fact, be the first steps of a journey.” 

Bertrand smiled sadly. “Our instructors used to tell us that. It might be one of the few things they got right. Just keep your chin up, okay?” 

He slowly picked himself up, before gathering the items in his makeshift bag. He and Quigley threw on coats, and then Bertrand held his hand as they started down the slope. 

They walked through most of the day, until the sky was starting to grow dark in the evening air. They weren’t planning on stopping to sleep, as they knew they needed to get there as quickly as possible, but Quigley interrupted their long silence with a question. 

“Can you say the poem again?” 

Bertrand smiled. “Tell you what. I’ll say the poem again if you sing yours.” 

Quigley gripped his hand tighter, shivering as snow blew into his face. “It’s- it’s just a song we used to sing on long car trips.” 

“It’s Lewis Carroll.” 

“Yeah, when Isadora was a baby that’s all that would calm her down, reciting Carroll stuff. Or so Mother said.” 

“Well, let’s hear it.” 

Quigley brightened a little, then sang under his breath as they kept going. 

They eventually reached a frozen stream, as the sun was setting, and Bertrand started following that, knowing that the headquarters would be at the center of where the streams met. Quigley swung their arms, brightening up a little as they moved along. 

“One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back!” 

Bertrand stopped, then, holding up a hand. “Do you hear anything?” 

Quigley stopped, too, instantly stiffening. He thought. “Some kind of buzz. Maybe snow gnats. They live in the Mortmain Mountains and tend to sting for no reason at all.” 

Bertrand smiled. “You read a lot about the mountains?” 

“No, but it was the only interesting book I found in Dr Montgomery’s library while I was waiting for Jacques.” Quigley said. “It also had secret codes for a VFD headquarters, would that be important?” 

Bertrand stopped, and then turned and stared at him in shock. “It absolutely would. How did you expect to get in?”

“Oh, I just thought we were going to go through a window.” 

Bertrand opened his mouth to respond, and then stopped again. “The sound’s getting closer. And… slower.” 

Quigley listened, too. “It doesn’t sound like bugs now. Running footsteps, slowing to a walk- I bet they’re walking on sticks or rough snow patches. Maybe it’s someone who can help?” 

Bertrand shook his head. “As much as I’d like that, I don’t think there’s anyone in these hills who could help. Unless it’s False Spring already.” 

“Not for a few days, I don’t think. But then again, I’m not sure if I’ve got the date correct.” 

Bertrand squeezed his hand, peering over the snowy ground. Then, quietly, he said, “Quigley?” 

“Yes?” 

“Stay behind me.” 

Quigley unquestioningly obeyed, though he did press himself against Bertrand's side in a kind-of hug. He whimpered slightly, and Bertrand tried to steady himself as best he could. 

Then two figures emerged around the bend in the path, and stopped, staring at them. 

“Well,” said a man with a beard but no hair, “This is a surprise.” 

“Would you look who it is?” said a woman with hair but no beard. 

Bertrand stared in rapt horror, and then he said, “Run.” 

Quigley grabbed his arm, and Bertrand leapt across the stream, dragging him across the snow. They heard a sharp whistle, and Bertrand cursed, pushing Quigley into a mess of trees. 

“What’s going on? What-” 

“They have eagles. They’re sending the eagles after us.” 

“Eagles?” 

“Big ones. Listen to me.” Bertrand knelt by him, putting hands on his shoulders. “If those two-” 

“Who are they?” 

“Arsonists. Terrible ones. You cannot go near them, do you understand?” Quigley nodded. “Okay. If they’re here, VFD Headquarters has already burnt. Meaning they won’t expect us to go there. It’s at the center of the mountains, but if you can find a cave with a-” 

“Vertical Flame Diversion?” 

“Yes, use that. I will meet you there.” 

“You’re-” 

Bertrand shushed him, then grabbed his arm and dragged him into a bush. They held still as they heard a bird call, and then a swooping above them. 

“I am going to direct them away from you.” Bertrand said. “But I have the knife, so I’ll at least have a bit of a defense. You need to get to the headquarters. Wait there for me.” he waited a moment to see if the eagles had passed, and then pulled them back out. He shrugged off the makeshift bag and handed it to Quigley. “There’s food there. Wait until you run out, if I’m not there by then, assume the worst and find your way into a town, go to the police.” 

“I don’t want to leave you, too!” Quigley cried. 

Bertrand bit his lip, and then gave Quigley a quick hug. “I don’t want too, either. But you need to be safe. Please, please promise me you will get to those headquarters and won’t turn back for me.” 

Quigley took a deep breath. “Only if you promise you won’t die.” 

Bertrand tried very hard not to cry, but nodded. “Promise. Now go.” 

Quigley already had tears streaming down his face, but he nodded as well, and then he took off, and Bertrand ran in the opposite direction.