#rue.text

[thomasthetankengine]

every time a drug-related poll goes around i keep seeing posts that are like "ew why are the dirty addicts calling people uncool for not doing drugs what is this a dare ad" and it drives me insane. like part of me does want to understand n stuff bc peer pressure is a real phenomenon and 'coolness' was one of the reasons i took up drug abuse, i but like

equally we need to remember that addicts are oppressed for being addicts, and that the oppressed have the right to make fun of their oppressors. idk but after being shit on for years for being a drug addict, constantly dealing w people disregarding my capacity for making decisions, physical violence in quite a few cases, im kinda just done with having to be on my very best behavior to show any discontent with the way things are

especially when i see soooo many posts around here making fun of neurotypicals and cishets. like you guys know the value of mocking an oppressor. so why cant we laugh a little

important addition that i have to put on my posts any time i talk about drug addiction: i am not encouraging anyone to do drugs i am just talking about my experiences as a drug addict. if you take this post as encouraging you to do drugs, you are reading it wrong and should do some personal evaluation of your own biases, preferably without me, i am not here to help you grow i am just saying what i want to say.

[thomasthetankengine]

when my sister was in prison, the vast majority of letters we tried to send were returned bc they contained arbitrary topics that were "not allowed." she tried to write about being a trans woman, about her health, about the conditions, and they were never received. once, it took her 2 months to communicate to us that she wanted us to write to another inmate who recently lost his brother and needed comfort. when we wrote back to her, our letters were returned. my niece, her kid, tried to send her her current speedrun record for paper mario. it was returned bc they thought the numbers were code for something. at least phone calls were more open; i recorded every single one so i could make sure i caught everything she wanted to say but wasnt allowed to in writing. the prison was hard on my sister particularly, as the whole system is with transfems

it affected everyone. my sisters been out for some time now, and she talks for so long and writes even longer. my foster parents and sister in law still record all their phone calls. my niece talks less about sexuality and gender, and reiterates so many times the topic of conversation. when i write, i bury meaning and controversy deeply, between endless lines of prose in hopes that maybe the wrong people dont see it and itll reach the audience that needs it

but its traumatic, censorship is a traumatic thing. i hope no one has to experience it, the gut-wrenching sensation of baring your soul and getting it crumpled by men with power because your words are deemed dangerous to their abusive system, the horrors of not being able to say hello to a loved one because your misspellings were seen as a secret code.

with this trauma in mind, i see talk of criticism of written/drawn cp as "censorship" and i am left horrified. my sister was isolated from society, most of her communication censored, and my whole family bears the scars; we have no faith in the government that silenced her. and some people think criticism is the same as that censorship? that the tool of my familys trauma is comparable to your stupid porn being deleted? if it is censorship, why do you not weep? why are you not destroyed mentally and emotionally? why do you laugh, how do you laugh, when censorship is something that has crushed us by the millions? our trauma is nothing to you, it is a buzzword, something to accuse and feel good about when inmates and their families have spent years, lifetimes in suffering because of it?

[thomasthetankengine]

im rue of the new york rail system, doer of my damn best! its promo hour, if you wanna follow go right ahead hell yeah

[thomasthetankengine]

got jumpscared by a normal post with a terrible op on the dash . i thought they quit tumblr but ig not

[thomasthetankengine]

everyone on this site whos ever said "schizophrenia only sets in at about your early twenties" owes me at least 50 dollars tbh

[thomasthetankengine]

tumblr "lesbian elder" butches that are never older than 25: baggy loose clothes arent masc. flowers arent masc. open toed shoes arent masc. bright colors arent masc unless theyre boy colors i mean masc colors. any fashion style that isnt mine isnt masc unless its in a black n white photo of a lesbian and if it is then you arent matching the look right so its still not masc.

butches in real life: hey hows it goin

[thomasthetankengine]

i wish dying/shaving your hair wasnt treated as the pinnacle of lgbt expression

[thomasthetankengine]

i wish emojis and stickers from discord transferred into other social sites. i need to bocca on tumblr

[thomasthetankengine]

if i had a nickel for every time i wrote something that had the message of "god is dead/dying at the hands of capitalism/fascism, but they can always return if we try" i would have a lot of nickels

[thomasthetankengine]

the liberal "totally not a zionist" will go on and on and on about how we must criticize hamas but the moment someone criticizes joe biden or the democratic party their message becomes 'but then trump will win!!! be nice to this geriatric or the usa will be a dictatorship' there is no logic behind them only violent racism and islamophobia

[thomasthetankengine]

heyyyyyyy its ramadan give your local schizotistic muslim a follow please

[thomasthetankengine]

i hit a low in my "i hate my job" mood and opened indeed for the first time in a while and i was greeted by the sight of The Perfect Job. on one hand i shouldnt be impulsive but on the other hand its The Perfect Job

[thomasthetankengine]

got an absolutely insane anon on a half-dead shared sideblog of mine where they spent several paragraphs ripping into the way my best friend types bc they couldnt identify the dialect . and then in their continuation they said they thought the way fae altered you/your pronouns was a cool neopronoun

like listen here pal you do not get to be invasive, racist, and ableist in my inbox to my friend and then try to use our heavily repressed dialect for your pronouns

[thomasthetankengine]

i cant fucking open tumblr without having a manic episode so bad i have to ask my dad to lock my knives

[thomasthetankengine]

"the average family only needs 1 hour to finish the fafsa, and that includes finding important documents!" that is a lie made to give false hope

[thomasthetankengine]

after dealing with the pitfalls of cheap headphones breaking for multiple years straight i had decided to spend money on 80 dollar headphones, only for them to not be loud enough and i have to constantly troubleshoot. in conclusion headphones are a scam and boot theory lied