#rubedokin

[fictionkinfessions]

Finished Windblume!! (so SPOILERS for anyone who hasnt finished it yet)

And wow!

FUCK RHINEDOTTIR!

MA'AM YOU DON'T GET TO PRETEND ALBEDO'S THE ONLY CHILD YOU MADE THAT "SURVIVED."

YOU DONT GET TO TRY AND ACT LIKE EVERYONE BEFORE HIM DIED. LIKE THE REST OF US WERE SOME WEIRD HOMONCULI EQUIVALENT TO A MISCARIAGE.

YOU FUCKING THREW. ME. AWAY. OF YOUR OWN VOLITION! YOU FED ME TO YOUR STUPID FUCKING DRAGON. WHILE I WAS ALIVE AND FULLY CONSCIOUS. AND JUST HOPED I'D DIE AND NEVER TURN UP AGAIN. WHY? SO YOU COULD CONCEAL YOUR LIES???

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TO CALL YOURSELF A MOTHER! YOU SHOULD BE LUCKY IT SEEMS ALICE DIDNT FUCKIGN KNOW WHAT YOU DID BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM HER EVER BEING OKAY WITH YOU THROWING OUT A LIVING BREATHING BABY. (even if I dont remember us ever being children, the event visuals clearly show we WERE infants at one time within canon.)

IM SO FUCKING MAD! IM PISSED! THAT THIS WOMAN IS GOING AROUND ACTING LIKE ALBEDO'S HER LITTLE MIRACLE CHILD AND SHES SO LUCKY TO HAVE THIS ONE LITTLE THING WHEN SHE COULD HAVE HAD AT LEAST TWO! WHO FUCKING KNOWS HOW MANY LIVING BABIES RHINE THREW OUT BEFORE ME IN CANON.

I'm not looking forward to how the fandoms gonna pretend she didnt say this! Or at least not fucking recognize what shes implying!

Bitch you dont get to PRETEND I NEVER EXISTED! Or that you didnt THROW ME OUT LIKE TRASH BECAUSE I WASNT "GOOD ENOUGH" FOR YOU! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER THROWS OUT HER CHILD FOR THAT REASON? I WASNT CLOSE ENOUGH TO PERFECT? WHAT MADE ALBEDO DIFFERENT? HE'S NOT PERFECT EITHER BUT YOU FUCKING KEPT HIM! WAS DURIN JUST FULL THAT NIGHT? CANT FEED HIM TWO BABIES?

GOD I FUCKING HATE YOU! I HATED YOU BEFORE BUT OH MY FUCKING GOD I DIDNT THINK CANON WOULD MAKE YOU THIS BAD! I THOUGHT MY OWN TIMELINE WOULD BE WORSE, BUT NO. CANON IS!!! YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED! THE OTHER MAGES SHOULD HATE YOU! YOU DONT DESERVE FRIENDS. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE CALLED A MOTHER. YOU DONT DESERVE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHATEVER MISERABLE FATE IS COMING FOR YOU. DEATH ISNT EVEN GOOD ENOUGH TO ATONE FOR THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE DONE AND THE LIES YOU'RE SPEWING. Luckly Celestia already made sure death isnt a fucking option for you. I'd say you're the only Khaenri'ahn that fucking deserves it.

GOD I fucking HOPE I HOPE I come back in the future. I hope that I turn up and everyone sees how much of a shit person you fucking are, Rhinedottir. Albedo seems to know at least! I want Alice to know! You're closest friend! I want her view of you to shatter so hard she'll hunt you down herself! Because there is NO FUCKING WAY She'd ever be okay with this! Not with how quickly she'll jump to adopting anyone in need of a good mother! Because CELESTIA KNOWS YOU'RE NOT ONE. I hope that if you EVER get a chance to apologize in canon, you'll take it. And nobody around will accept it, even if it's straight to me. Because you don't deserve forgiveness. I want you to lose everything. And it still wont be good enough.

Fuck you fuck you fuck you. I hope you're fucking miserable in this life if you're out there because you don't deserve SHIT and Karma's a fucking BITCH.

~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟ Who genuinely didn't think his hatred of Rhinedottir could get WORSE but has been proven oh so very wrong.

🫘

[bytemycupcakes]

I literally cannot describe this in any way other than

Im a Subject Two/Rubedo kinnie and have been longing for Festering Desire for DAYS

Mihoyo bring it back I want it so bad.

Ft. My Rubedo design (Still in the works, Ive only been drawing him as a chibi so far)

(Do not tag as kin/me/id)

[bravocat]

rubedokin i wwent to a con ttoday anf i saw a shulk keychain nd i insstantly thought of U ....

 rllly wanted to buy it omfg bbut i had no more money akkgkhkhlhlkk

[fictionkinfessions]

Fandom stop stealing my trauma to give it to Albedo and scaramouche challenge.

Literally neither of these two are traumatized in canon. Albedo isnt abandoned or abused by Rhinedottir. And Scaramouche isnt trapped under Ei's thumb for eternity.

Stop it.

if you wanna explorer those themes Im RIGHT HERE. Canotically abandoned and abused and stuck in the role I was originally made for for eternity. I have no freedom. Thats literally the whole reason I attacked Albedo, fucking JEALOUSY. Scara and Albedo are free. And have been for so long. And they were never mistreated to begin with.

Give me my trauma back, because its MINE not THEIRS.

~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟

P.S because I dont trust Scara kins (sorry if youre a good one): I AM TALKING ABOUT CANON. IF YOUR TL IS DIFFERENT THATS YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS. CANON SCARA ISNT TRAUMATIZED BY EI. SUCK IT UP, YOUR TRAUMA MEMS ARE NONCANON. THEY DO NOT HAVE TO BE CANON TO BE VALID, OKAY? OKAY. (Ive had too many scara kins be assholes abt this so no Im not gonna be nice, again sorry if youre a good one)

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm beginning to wonder if my Sucrose is out there.. I'm sure theres a few who do remember me in general, but how many will remember our friendship? Our bonding over our shared traumas. Me letting down my walls for the first time just to comfort her after a nightmare.. Or me shoving my little babies(foxes) into her arms when she started making herself anxious..

I wonder if she's out there. If she remembers our promise to never leave eachothers side. That we would never abandon eachother the way others abandoned us..

I hope. If she does remember that. That she's not holding it against me right now. Because Im not there. I swear Sucrose, I'd be right by your side right now if I could. I hope she's okay. That she feels safe and has friends who love her and wouldn't leave her hanging this go around.

I miss you, Sucrose. I hope you're okay.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

Life hack to basically never miss siblings from your kin lives: Have a sibling irl that tends to match every single kin sibling even tho he doesnt kin but if he DID he'd probably kin all ur kin siblings.

Its not 100% foolproof obviously but every time I talk to my irl brother I see a little bit of one of my kin siblings. Ayaka, Albedo, Barzum, ect. I almost never miss any of them. It feels like theyre here with me (As with me as being a state over can be ofc lol)

Ofc it helps even more when one of his favorite characters is Ayaka (and is even decking his car out in sakura petals!) and has agreed with me that he acts near exactly like Albedo. He sees the similarities, he just isnt a kinnie (yet /j)

I still miss my kin siblings on occasion, its inevitable when I know theyre not really here, but having a close sibling irl has certainly helped in my years of kinning.

If my kin siblings are out there, I hope you know not to worry about me. I am in good hands until the day we find eachother. Do not fret. And I certainly hope you are in a similar boat (Whether it be an irl sibling, or a friend you've "adopted" as one, I simply wish that you dont lie awake at night missing me with all your being.)

~Kamisato Ayato, Rubedo/Subject Two, and Baizli Soleil 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

The very first thing he taught me was to not trust the Fatui. The VERY FIRST THING.

Surely I couldn't have dated Tartaglia. I couldnt just turn around and ignore the first thing Albedo taught me. The very lesson that got me my newfound life.

I could never. I- Albedo would be so dissapointed. For as silly as I portrayed it last time I talked about this- I still think Albedo would turn the tables and be protective, a reversal of when I protected him from Aether. But. Theres an open possibility for him to be mad at me too. For him to see why Rhinedottir threw me away. Perhaps he would throw me away to. I don't want to lose the family I tried so hard to feel like I earned.

I've been so stressed thinking about that possibility that I cant genuinely figure out if this is a genuine timeline thing, or if it's just my delusions about Tartaglia trying to infect this kinshift.

I don't know what to do. I keep looking at the small amount of Chibedo content pretending Albedo is me. I keep feeling like I'm sneaking around behind Albedos back, that he'd kick me out if he ever found out what I was doing. I feel like a straight edge teen getting their first taste of romantic rebellion.

And I have no idea how to feel about it. No idea if I'm just overthinking it or if these are emotional mems. I don't want to believe Albedo would abandon me over something so.. trivial. But- But I'm so sure he didnt care about me as much as I did him. What if he was just looking for a reason to get rid of me. What if he saw my flaws so obviously that he regretted taking me in immediately.

I keep remembering that he was Rhinedottirs perfect creation. It's not hard to believe he could see me like she did. And how am I supposed to trust his intentions when he was undoubtedly her favorite.

What if he didn't see me like a person? Just like she did.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

A friend sent me a comic of Klee finding me on the mountain and Im crying ;-;

Klee, I dont remember you much quite yet but I miss you. You're terrifying and far too hyper for my liking but also if anything ever happened to you I'd have to go batshit again.

You're the best little sister anyone could ask for and I'm grateful that Albedo was willing to share, and even use you as a teaching device for me. (Afterall who's better at teaching one to be themself than a child who hardly listens to authority?)

I hold you gentle. As far away from me as possible. Which is right up against my chest because youre a cuddler and I cant fight it.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

We are literally refered to as brothers several times in canon (granted via extended logic), why the FUCK are people shipping us.

You people are fucking DISGUSTING.

I guess people are just too stupid to extend that direct brother comparison, huh? If Albedo and Durin can be called brothers than Albedo and I should also be called brothers as we're CLOSER in relation than him and Durin! I.e. I am a "beta test" for Albedos existance for lack of better comparison, while Durin is just another random creation of Rhinedottirs. Albedos signature sword calls ALL of Rhine's creations Albedos brothers (While no names are mentioned in the sword lore, it is clearly a message from Rhine to Albedo considering the sword looks exactly like him and the lore literally only makes sense in that context). Why the fuck would you ship ANY of us. Fuck this fandom.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

The way you treated me haunted me for centuries. Even through the memory loss of being comatose for most of that time. Your words would echo in my head during panic attacks. You were the worst thing retated to my existance.

So why. Why do I struggle so much to hate you. Why do I have to fight back the part of me that still seeks your validation and affection. Why do I still want to call you mother.

I should hate you. I DO hate you. You were the worst to me. You FED ME TO A DRAGON. So why in the world do I look at how you treated my replacement and wish that were me. Why do I still want your attention. Why do I still try to love you.

Youre the worst, Rhinedottir. I hope youre suffering right now. But. I care about you. I hope your day was good.

I wish my programming didnt seem to follow me to this life. Why couldnt that part of me be broken, huh?

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

Didnt think I'd get a mem from weighing myself but okay??

Shout out to Tartaglia, picking me up for the first time and immediately getting concerned about my weight, insists he cooks me food, and I have to break his little heart by telling him I dont even have a stomach. I just weigh this much normally.

I let him cook anyway cause he was apparenly very excited to find an excuse to cook me dinner 😭

Im sorry hun, I can barely taste food to begin with- (Gotta love being broken, half my senses dont work properly lol) The sentiment was very sweet though.

~Subject Two/Rubedo 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

Me: [learns what a baby is] | Me: ..... [picks up snow fox] Baby :) | Albedo: No- | Me: Yes.

I'm sorry Albedo but every fox on the mountain is now my child and you simply have to accept that you are an uncle to dozens of foxes.

(Its okay I only really kept like 2 after moving off the mountain. But I do still love every single fox on Dragonspine, they kept me company for quite some time.)

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

P.S. I just finished watching Encanto again so Im thinking of me and my foxes like Bruno and his rats. Do with that what you will.

[fictionkinfessions]

New Owl House ep spoilers

When you realize that Hunter seeing the ex-golden guard masks in the new ep is eerily remenicent of your Subject Two mem of seeing Rhinedottirs destroyed homonculi and now youre just thrown into ANGSTY qkinning. As if normal qkinning wasnt enough lol.

But man. If I had a nickel for every artificial blonde boy that is confronted with (technical) remains of his predecessors that I (possibly) kinned Id have two nickels which isnt a lot but its weird that its happened twice

~Rubedo/Subject Two and Possible Hunter Owl House? 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

Sometimes I hate having to pretend fanart of Albedo is fanart of me. It makes me feel guilty. Or like I never moved on from that period of my life.

But what the fuck am I supposed to do? People rarely draw me, and corrupted Albedo art is ESSENTIALLY depicting how I was even alive.

I don't exactly have much of a choice you know? Hope you dont mind Albedo, but I still have to use your face.

At least I dont have to pretend to be an Albedo kinnie for acceptance from sourcemates, right? I at least have that going for me.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

What was he thinking when he finally took me in?

We had mostly ignored eachother for months, he only stumbled upon me a handful of times that I know of.

When that cicin mage was trying to convince me my newly obtained vision was a call from the Tsaritsa- Was that the tipping point? Or perhaps he had been looking for me far before that.

I left many marks on the mountain, I had a passtime of drawing in the snow. Nowhere near Albedos ability, but stickfigures can convey alot of emotion. So that could have tipped him over. Or perhaps he knew how often I'd sit above the entrance of his lab, pretending we were hanging out. Theres so many possibilities that I cant answer when he decided to bring me in.

All I know is he silently dragged me away from the Cicin mage. And when I asked what he was doing, he only explained that the Fatui were bad people, that I shouldnt be talking to them when I know so little of the world.

Whatever the reason was, he knew I couldnt just be a hermit on the mountain, and Im deeply grateful that the change happened. Getting to have a proper life was so much nicer than living with the foxes (Though I will always love my little babies 💕). Getting to learn whatever I had interest in was fun. Having a family in him and Klee, and being able to feel such deep emotion when either of them got hurt- Well it wasnt fun or particularly enjoyable but it was an experience, one I do not hate.

I may never know why Albedo decided to take me in, but I got a proper life because of it. And I will forever be grateful to him for that.

He is truly, the best brother one could ever ask for.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯♟

[fictionkinfessions]

Hey remember when I said "I hope these Tartaglia/Rubedo hypotheticals dont bite me in the ass"?

Theyre biting me in the ass. Im suffering.

~Rubedo/Subject Two 🕯️♟