#rrl02sd53

[simgrump]

❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

tw drugs

Dax chose to walk his friend home, just to be safe. He knew he was going to get in trouble when he went home, no matter if he texted his parents or not. If he could just explain to them it was to make sure Jesus was okay, they’d probably understand. But the piece of it he couldn’t tell them was because Jesus had a bad trip. They’d never let him out of the house again if they knew that bit of the story. 

It felt bad, keeping things from them. But they wouldn’t understand. Not this. Or maybe it was that they would and they’d try to get him help. He didn’t want it. Didn’t need it. He was using Bubbles, yes, but he was safe about it. Not like Jesus. And if he was going to start selling Bubbles to kids at his school... His parents could never find that part out. He’d be more than grounded for life, they might agree to send him to juvie or something. 

All these thoughts spiraled through his head as he made his way home, looking at the stars and the moon and wishing he just knew the right way to handle this all. He knew what his parents would say, to stop using Bubbles. To not sell. But he was already in too deep. There was no backing out of it now. Sad thing was, he didn’t think he wanted to, either. 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

“Where have you been?” Allan demanded. Dax didn’t even have time to get in the door. His Dad must have seen him coming from up the street and came outside to meet him on the porch. Dax thought it was so the rest of the family didn’t have to hear the argument that was about to happen. Maybe his sisters were asleep and he didn’t want to wake them up. No matter the reason, Dax knew he was in for it. 

“Jesus wasn’t feeling good,” Dax understated. “So I walked him home.” 

“And do you know how to text? Call? Let us know where you are?” Allan growled, disappointment and anger in his face. “Dax, we’ve been over this. You can’t stay out this late and you certainly can’t do it without letting us know. Even a text would have been better than worrying your mother over this.” 

“Okay,” Dax said with a shrug, but Allan wasn’t done with him. 

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[simgrump]

❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

tw drugs

Once they were sure Jesus was going to be okay, Lester left, not wanting to be grounded by his parents for being out after dark. Dax knew the same fate awaited him, but he didn’t think it was a good idea to leave Jesus by himself just yet. He was still a little groggy and thought maybe he should make sure his friend made it home safe. 

“Maybe we should focus on selling Bubbles instead of using them,” Dax said, but every part of him hated that idea. He loved the high that Bubbles got him, loved just melting away all the cares and worries in the world and now with Nathaniel being diagnosed with autism, there were a whole new set of worries that kept him up at night. He needed that relief, even if it was fleeting for the moment. 

“Man, was I really that bad?” Jesus asked, scratching the back of his head. 

“We couldn’t wake you up, dude,” Dax told him. “Lester almost called an ambulance.” 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

One thing the specialist was quick to remind Eris about was taking time for herself when she could. Being a parent to a child of autism took almost 24/7 attention, so the moments when she could slip away and do something for herself were few and far between. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t find them. 

Her beetle farm was one of those moments. While Allan was inside playing with the kids, Eris slipped outside to attend to the farm, making sure they had plenty of food and she could collect the nuggets for biofuel to power some of the environmentally friendly appliances she had around the house. It was relaxing taking care of the beetle farm and it was one of the ways she could be quiet and alone with her thoughts. 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

Since Nathaniel didn’t want her playing dolls with him, Eris sat back on a stool and watched her son play quietly with the toys. She texted her specialist to get some encouragement on what she should do, whether she should remind her son that sharing was a necessity or respect his wishes to play alone. She was still getting used to moments like these were words couldn’t be exchanged to find out what was going on with him. 

It was the hardest part, she thought. That lack of talking and lack of typical communication. She had to find his communication in different ways and she’d take what she could get, but it was still difficult learning what those ways were. She’d thought she’d mastered parenting with her three other kids, but it took Nathaniel’s autism to really test those parenting skills. 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

Nathaniel and Eris were in the girls’ room playing with the dolls when he had an unusual outburst. Eris tried to play along with him, but suddenly he grabbed the doll away from her and wouldn’t let her pick up another one to continue playing. She sat there for a moment, watching him play and took a deep breath before she attempted to communicate with him. 

“Nathaniel, honey, do you not want Mommy to play dolls with you?” she asked, keeping the question simple. It wasn’t a why don’t you want this, it wasn’t a question that needed a long response either. It was a yes or no question, something the specialist coached Eris to try and ask whenever she could. 

A grunt was the response she got and Eris licked her lips. “Can you tell Mommy ‘no’ then?” 

“No,” Nathaniel said and it was a small win, because it still meant she wasn’t allowed to play dolls with him, but at least he was using his words. 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

Nathaniel’s outbursts ranged from mild and tepid to full on meltdowns and on his worst days, he’d wind up on the floor screaming and hitting his fists against the floorboards. It was a learning curve for all of them, how to handle it when these outbursts came about. Patience was the key and remembering that he was learning himself as much as they were learning about him as well. 

Eris especially was getting used to the outbursts, as she was usually the one taking care of him when they happened. Allan helped, of course, but Nathaniel usually listened to Eris more than anyone else. He was definitely a Momma’s boy and while it was tiring on the bad days, she reminded herself that she was proud to be Nathaniel’s mother. 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

As Nathaniel’s birthday came around, the family had gotten into the mind that they would be embracing his new normal, rather than condeming or fearing it. Nathaniel was still a good kid, a sweet kid, but as he was getting older he did have his outbursts and didn’t like change or to be told no on certain things. Of all her children, Nathaniel was proving to be the one with some of the more difficult moments to try and work through. 

Things were just different for him. He was quiet, barely spoke. He liked to make noises rather than form words or complete sentences. He didn’t like change. He didn’t like to make eye contact the way other kids did and Eris was still getting used to that. Thinking that her son didn’t love her the way her other kids did. The specialist they were working with was quick to assure her that he did in fact love her. Expression was going to be hard for him, but the fact that he trusted his family was a good sign of love. 

Life Stage Update: Child (Nathaniel)

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[simgrump]

❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

“Dax, we’re relying on you to be more grown up than you’re acting tonight,” Allan told him and Dax sighed, because that was a low blow. He’d been responsible to his friends tonight, but couldn’t tell his parents why. To them, he was just out there being a hooligan, he suppsoed. “We need you to help with the family and...-” 

“Well what if I don’t want to?” Dax sassed back at him. He didn’t really mean the words. He loved his family, he really did. But tonight he didn’t like being chastised about not acting grown up. He was dealing with things that felt really grown up to him. 

Allan looked taken aback by the words and Dax almost took back the comment as soon as he saw the look on his Dad’s face. But they were out there now and Allan just melted into a look of disappointment. Stern disappointment. “That’d be a real shame if you don’t want to be a part of this family anymore. I think it’s a pretty good one.” 

“Dad...” Dax started, but Allan was done with it. He stepped aside and jutted a thumb towards the door. 

“Go inside. At least let your Mom know you’re home.” 

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❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

“Go get a water from the ice cream stand,” Dax ordered and Lester stared at him blankly for a minute. “Just do it,” Dax said before he could question him and Lester got up to go do as he was told. Dax watched his retreating back for a moment before he looked back down at Jesus. One of his oldest friends and he leaned down, shaking his shoulder again. 

“Jesus, man, you gotta wake up,” he tried again, giving him a violent shake, which at least earned him a moan. Dax took that as a good sign and waited until Lester came back with the cup of water. 

“I didn’t know if you wanted a straw or...?” Lester started and Dax just grabbed the cup of water from him before throwing it in Jesus’s face. 

It did the trick. His friend spluttered at the sudden frigid temperature and sat up, shaking his head, squeezing his eyes shut. He looked around at them for a moment before he eyed the now empty cup in Dax’s hand. “What the fuck, dude?” 

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[simgrump]

❦ Szalinski Household, Day Fifty-Three ❦

tw drugs

“I got here as soon as I could,” Dax said, finding Lester and Jesus sitting on a bench on the boardwalk. He frowned, because Jesus looked completely out of it and Lester looked on the verge of panic. “What’s wrong?” he asked, already suspecting the answer. 

“I can’t get him to wake up,” Lester said, slapping at Jesus’s face slightly and only getting a mild reaction out of him. Dax swallowed hard, coming over to try and squeeze his friend’s shoulder, but there was little response to that as well. 

“What’d he take?” Dax asked. 

“Just Bubbles, man, that’s all we did,” Lester shook his head, standing up and pacing alongside the railing. “You think I should call an ambulance? We’ve never had a bad trip before.” Calling an ambulance was the worst thing they could do in the moment. It would end their time with Bubbles and selling for Don Lothario before it even began. Dax stood there for a moment and Lester pleaded, “Dax?” 

“Let me think for a minute.” 

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