#rough but whateverr

[yellowvixen]

two old gay kings

[d0llcuries]

CURIOSITY

pairing(s): orion pax x fem!cybertronian!reader

summary: you caught him red-handed! fortunately for him, he doesn't seem to mind at all.

author's note: the way nobody asked for this LMAOO. whateverr

orion wasn’t supposed to be here.

the hall of records in iacon wasn’t a place for mechs like him—too quiet, too controlled. it was nothing like the mines, where everything was loud and constantly breaking down. his frame wasn’t built for the delicate silence that lingered in the air. it was all too clean, too refined. he was just a miner—rough around the edges, marked by the press of hard labor, the grit of his life below ground still clinging to him like an afterthought. here, it was still, like even the air was afraid to move, and orion, with his dirt-covered plating and rough edges, felt out of place by just breathing in it.

it hummed with the weight of millennia-old history, each data strip stacked with a kind of knowledge he’d never needed before, never cared to learn. and yet, here he was, stepping into a space where the glow of the archive lights felt like a spotlight aimed straight at his back. it felt wrong to be here. but he was.

he had to be. the others were counting on him. counting on this risk, this stupid, reckless chance he’d taken because no one else would. because he was the only one dumb enough to think sneaking into the archives could make a difference, that he might actually find something useful buried in all these ancient records. something to change things for them. help the miners, help the mechs who spent their whole lives breaking their frames for endless crates of energon. give them a way out of the dirt and the darkness, show the rest of cybertron that those born without a cog were just as worthy and special as those who could transform.

now, he didn’t exactly have a plan, but he figured he’d know what to when the opportunity to do something presented itself. that was the kind of logic he lived by: act first, figure it out later. it hadn’t killed him yet.

but then he saw her, and everything else fell apart.

she was standing by one of the consoles, a mech built for this kind of space—quiet, composed, her movements deliberate. smooth lines and soft curves. she blended into the room like she was part of it, but orion couldn’t stop looking. it was like the stillness bent around her, and she was the only thing real in the room.

his processor lagged, cycling through useless thoughts about how different she was from anything he’d seen before. how calm she was, how she seemed to belong here, where he didn’t. and, for a moment, he almost forgot why he came. he was staring, no point in denying it, and that’s when she spoke.

“you’re not supposed to be here.”

his frame stilled, optics shifting from the corridor back to her—leaned up against the console, her posture relaxed in a way that made him second-guess his decision to leave. “uh… not exactly, no.”

“and you are here because…?”

he scratched the back of his neck, shifting his weight. “i figured it wouldn’t hurt to look around. you know, expand my knowledge and all that.”

“right.” her voice stayed even, neutral, though the faintest twitch of her mouth gave her away. “because miners always come to the archives to ‘expand their knowledge.’”

he laughed under his breath, the sound short and awkward. “well, we’re full of surprises.”

“clearly.” she tilted her head slightly, optics lingering on him a second longer than necessary. “you must be very curious.”

he shrugged, stepping closer. “i like to think i’m a mech of many interests.”

she raised a brow, almost teasing now. “you take interest in sneaking into places you don’t belong?”

he smiled a little, trying to keep his voice casual. “just a little.”

she hummed in understanding and everything remained silent for a while.

“you gonna turn me in?”

her optics flickered down, back up again, and something about the way she looked at him made the wires in his chest feel tighter, more constricted. “you really thought i would just let you walk out of here without saying anything?”

“i was hoping for something along those lines, yeah,” he said with a small grin.

she studied him for a moment, her gaze steady but unreadable. then, with the faintest tilt of her head, she asked, “and what do i get out of that?”

he blinked, not expecting that question either. “what do you want?”

her lips quirked, not quite a smile, but close. “now that depends on the offer.”

“the offer?” his voice dropped slightly, a playful edge slipping into his tone. “what makes you think i’m in a position to offer anything?”

“you’re the one sneaking around in a restricted area,” she countered, her optics narrowing just slightly, the amusement clear now in her voice. “seems like you’re the one who needs something from me.”

he exhaled, leaning in just a little, close enough that the air between them felt charged. “maybe i’m just here for the conversation.”

“mm.” her gaze flicked down briefly, then back up to meet his. “you must be terribly bored to come all this way for that.”

“not bored,” he said quickly, almost too quickly, and then laughed at himself. “just… curious. like i said.”

her optics lingered on him, and this time, there was no question in the way they softened, even if her expression remained cool. “you could’ve come during normal hours, you know.”

“where’s the fun in that?” his grin widened slightly. “besides, it’s quieter this way. fewer interruptions.”

the corner of her mouth lifted just enough to be considered a smile. “so you like the quiet?”

he shrugged again, trying to keep things light despite the way her gaze seemed to make his processor stall. “sometimes. depends on the company.”

…

“so,” she continued after a beat, her voice back to that easy, cool lilt, “what do you plan to do with your ‘expanded knowledge’ now?”

orion blinked, his processor stuttering again. “uh…”

she smiled then, fully this time, and it hit him like a shock to his circuits. “that’s what i thought.”

he laughed, more out of nerves than anything, but he couldn’t help the way his own smile lingered. “guess i’ll have to figure that out.”

“i guess you will.” her voice was soft now, her optics still holding his, and for a moment, neither of them moved.

then, without another word, she turned back toward the console, like nothing had happened, like the entire conversation hadn’t left his spark thrumming in his chest. “you should go,” she said casually, though there was something warmer in her tone now, something almost amused. “before i change my mind.”

orion straightened, forcing a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “right. i, uh… yeah. i’ll go.”

but as he took a step toward the door, he hesitated, glancing back over his shoulder. “unless, of course… you want me to stick around.”

“another time, maybe.”

he nodded, more to himself than to her, and turned to leave. “i’ll hold you to that.”

as he slipped out into the hallway, he couldn’t help but feel lighter, his spark still humming with the unspoken tension that hung in the air between them. maybe he’d have to find an excuse to sneak in again.

[soombee]

🫂 ｡ﾟ⊹ you’ve built a home in my heart — 01. microwaved strawberries...?

:: u got up at 2 am to get some snacks at the convenience store down the street. for your inconvenience, you quietly opened the door to meet a peculiar sight, someone trying to sleep on the floor across the hallway because their roommate has their gf over .. ?

warnings ⚠️ none !!

word count : 700 / 0.7k words !!

incheon, 2:53 am

“ahh im so hungry,” you grab your keys and wallet from your vanity, “i wonder what seven eleven has rn..”

this hunger pierced through your stomach, it was a craving that refused to be ignored, demanding immediate attention. you walked over to the living area to find hyunjin laying on his stomach, watching a new episode of the kdrama he’s been binging throughout the week.

“oh yeah, which filling did u want in the riceball?” you remembered his reply under your tweet

“salmon or tempura’s good, thank u love” he muttered, still focusing on the tv screen

— the nickname “love” sure is a charming term of endearment, especially coming from your childhood bsf.

“do u want me to go with u? its like pitch black outside” the blond shifted his attention onto you

“no, ill be fine, thank u tho”

“alright then, be safe” he reverted his attention back to the screen, “i dont wanna sleep hungry tonight” he says in a teasing tone

“whateverr, dont blame me if u see a bite out of your onigiri” your giggles filled the room.

you turned the doorknob and walked over to the elevator. as u neared your destination, a flicker of movement caught the corner of your eye and your curiosity piqued. you stopped in your tracks and turned toward the source of the movement. and there they were, sprawled across the rough carpet flooring of the hallway, was an uncomfy stranger, his features softened by the dim glow of the hallway lights.

“what the..” you mumbled with confusion mixed with concern, “are you alright?” you voiced, extending a hand in an offer of assistance. he blinked up at you, a mixture of exhaustion and horror reflected in his eyes.

“oh, shit, i didnt think anyone would be awake rn,” he quickly sat up, “my bad, im not homeless or anything. my roomate js has his gf over and i did not wanna third wheel..” the handsome stranger explained with weariness

a moment of silence passed between you two. in that fleeting moment, you made a decision fueled by empathy and a tinge of adventure. “well, how about.. ” you proposed, a smile creeping upon your lips. “instead of the rough, ugly floor, you sleep at my place tonight? im sure my roommate wouldnt mind”

“forreal??” his tired eyes looked up at yours.

“duh, i cant let you sleep out here, what if u get abducted??” you couldn’t let his pretty face touch the dirty ground..

“alright then, where are you going rn?” he took your hand as support to stand up, he was quite tall..

“just the store down the street, wanna come with?” now you looked up at his head.

“yeah, my treat tho, as a thank you”

4:42 am

“oohh wait” riki rummages thru the tote bag 7eleven gave you, he pulls out the pack of strawberries he bought. he approached the microwave, “do you want some?” he turned around to ask you

“depends, what are u gonna do with thrm?” you tilted your head in confusion

riki places the strawberries in a bowl and washes them thoroughly. “microwave them” you squinted your eyes and let your eyebrows frown

“microwaved strawberries…?” you were star struck, he left you speechless

“yup” with a smile, he carefully placed the bowl of red strawberries inside and set the timer. as the microwave hummed to life, riki leaned against the counter, eagerly waiting for the warm strawberries that awaited him. the soft whirring grew louder, and he watched through the transparent window, gently warming the strawberries and releasing their sweet fragrance.

“at least try it before u judge me” riki turned around with a bowl of microwaved strawberries placed in his hands, “come try some”

you got up and walked over to him. u stood in front of the microwave, the bowl of freshly microwaved strawberries in rikis palms, and skepticism + excitement settled within u. u took a strawberry from the bowl and bit a piece off, a burst of unexpected flavors met your mouth. the warmth intensified the strawberry’s sweetness and released an enchanting aroma, it almost smelled like your perfume. it was definitely a delightful surprise.

m.list || next

taglist :: @aernx 🫶

[girlkissermiah]

about me!! 🐚💓

(don’t just dm me to start an inappropriate conversation actually ttm first)

my name is miah <3

i go by she/her

i’m single & im 19

lesbian and a switch !!!

i loveee the beachhhh and don’t worry i’m not as innocent as i look sweetheart 💗

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

some things i'm into!! 𐙚 ‧₊˚

- degradation/humiliation

- guided masturbation 

- orgasm denial/edging/ruining

- begging to cum

- being rough/leaving marks

- calling me pet names such as 'good girl, baby, angel' whateverr

- telling me i'm doing so good/doing a good job or that your proud of me/praise in general

- being possessive and overprotective

- bdsm/tied up

- overstimulation/forced to keep going/cumming over and over

- eye contact/forcing me to look at them

- pulling me in and holding me down when i think it's to much

- vibrator torture

enjoy loves!! 𐙚 ‧₊˚

[rorys-letters]

Entry 1 !!

I wanted to start making a Digital diary so this is it!!! it was supposed to be a daily thing but whateverr

This is rly long so sorry abt that </3

cw: talk of sh, depression, su1cidal thoughts

i though i would do these entries like daily and its the tenth so i guess not but even so i thin its better this way, its less pressure yk. Anyways it has been ROUGH out here it rly is a struggle but whateverrr.I don't really know how i'm supposed to do this but i gues ill figure it out eventually. okay so i've been trying to get clean for like at least four-ish months i think, and its been so hard and ive always known it was a problem but yk with addiction yo always think you have it under control, even when you don't and I think i realised it was a genuine problem not bc it was sh but bc i couldnt stop for a day and i think that like woke me up kinda, and two weeks ago i was on winter break right and it was so lonley and i hated it soo much bc it was busy and i felt useless as if i hadn't been in an episode since decemeber, and on new years it was like as bed as it gets usually, and i felt like that until like the 3rd or 4th, and obviously i sh bc how else am i gonna cope if i wasn't getting clean, then on the 5th i guess things were really put into perspective and i tried to get clean like properly, and every single time i try to do that its always hardest in the first 3 days-ish, then it gets easier, then harder again depending on period, naturally i relapsed on the 7th, and since then its been hard again, bc im trying so hard not to and it makes me feel ugly and i hate it when people see them because it always gets so awkward, esp worse if don't know them bc the last thing i need is for another person to know, i think i've only told like 4 people about it and i only talk to two of them regularly, not even about sh, or anything abt my depression which isn't healthy ik but what's a girl to do if she's emotionally avoidant. Anyway i had a close call on the 9th and I'm really scared she saw the c*ts bc thats not fun even though i'd been trying to minimise scarring which worked pretty well since they're quite faint for 1 week but at the time they were still scabbed. And now that they're faint I can't help byt want to cut again. and it feels so useless staying clean bc I'm almost always reliant on something to self-medicated, sometimes I stop eating, sometimes i sh, and sometimes i drink rly obscene amounts of caffeine, and if im not doing any of those consistently im stuck in an episode which i am in one anyway but they make it easier yk. I think recently I've been really sensitive, more so than usual, my mom told me to wake up and i started crying about how badly i wanted to sleep, even though I know that she means well, and my english teacher said something about how relying on something to help you feel better (it was like shopping addictions an whatnot) makes the person week, which only made me feel worse because I'm trying SO HARD just to be normal, and not do something so basic and its so hard and saying something alot less worse than sh is weak then what is sh to her, obviously i wouldn't confind in her but knowing that someone could see me as weak is like gut-wrenching in a sense and i'm not quite sure why.

i started hating talking to ppl and week-ends make me feel worse about everything, my grades are fine but i know they could be better, and it reminds me of how i've had people tell me i have so much potential (around december while i was in an episode) and i was doing so bad mentally at the time it only made me feel worse, because i don't need you telling me i've got so much potential if you don't even know how hard everything feels, let alone know how much I want to die but 'm still dong work, and passing classes. I think at the time I would always think about how much I needed to be dead, and by the week before the break i didn't think i'd reach the end of it, by the beginning of the break I was convinced I wouldn't make it to new-years, then I didn't think i'd make it to attend school, and i felt so ashamed when i came back because how am i supposed to tell my teachers that i was so su1cidal i didn't think it would matter if i did my homeworks, and i sometimes wish i told them that, it would make so many things easier, I wouldn't have to tell my mom that i want to die because that's just cruel, i wouldn't have to tell my friends bout it, and maybe school work would get easier.

When it gets bad like this. i always watch "It's Kind of a Funny Story" because I feel i need to be locked-up, like the thoughts are so consuming I can't take it, even if i'm not institutionalised i need to be medicated i don't care about side-effects, i don't care about reliance, sh is sm worse than controlled meds, and the worst part is my psychiatrist might have been genuinely considering giving me anti-depressants, but my mom is worried about the side-effects. I stopped going to her because i dreaded it so much, it only made me feel worse because we never really talked how i wanted, i was scared yes, but i think it could've gone so much better if she focused on the depression side, bc she said i had mdd (clinical depression) and gad (anxiety), but she only focused on the gad part of it, and she had me see why my thoughts are irrational, but i knew that they were, i knew that they weren't true my problem is that i wanted to k1ill myself. whatever

I think something that scares me a lot is the effects of prolonged depression on the brain, i think knowing what happens chemically helps me understand better but i only end up feeling worse, i know that memory is heavily impacted, and i've been so scared of forgetting, but i already did, i couldn't tell you what happened most of my life, i just can't remember a lot, and i don't remember well anymore, it takes so much longer and it makes it so much harder to keep up.

I also read that it impacts neural connections, like how neurons work to connect to each other in the brain, which is essentially like critical thinking and making connections to new ideas, and i find that really scary, like r u seriously telling me i'm so depressed i physically can't think right? what the hell!

Also I think i feel really guilty for being depressed because i don't know why i am, i know i have no reason to be and i'm so thankful for the life i have, i guess i just don't know why i'm not dead, like this isn't me but i'm alive and i feel like i'm useless, i'm not helping anyone by being here and i don';t want to be here either so why can't i go?

A lot of the time when i feel like this i listen to Part of the Band by the 1975 and i don't know why but it helps me feel something, sometimes i feel worse and other times better, but i just watched it and its a mix of both, sometimes i wish i wasn't so messed up for no reason. I feel like i'm rotting from the inside out, im decaying infornt of my own eyes and no one can do anything about it, not even myself, especially not myself. It feels futile trying to get better because i have nothing to live for, i don't even know what i'm saying anymore. I', just so tired all the time, and im so pissy its frustrating and unfair of me because people only want to help and i hate taht i won't let them, even when it's what i want most. I'm so like lethargic at this point and it can't be normal. I think what i hate most is people not taking me seriously, or misunderstanding me, it makes it harder for me to reach out. and i feel like i lost all of my communication skills because i feel so much and i just can't articulate it, i don't know if it's me deteriorating or if these feelings are indescribable. I really hope writing this make it easier, i just might but i don't know anymore.

jan 10 2025

-rory

[21andbad]

February 9:

Kpop literally takes over my life OF COURSE , also excited about what song to use for my vlog, maybe sistar’ holiday? I also love kpop fashion and colour. Aso lol at the photos caitlynn’s edits like its 2008, like the nice HD photo I sent her and then she ruins the quality hahah, whatever. I also had that moment where I say my standards are too high but do nothing to change them LOL also the tommy overalls i love are sold out in my size :( sigh*

from sss:

*me all excited*: guess what i ordered online :))))

mehg: what?

me: a musubi maker !

mehg: allan how was i supposed to guess that as if we’ve been talking about this

—

lmao i legitimiateky cried cause I was so excited and actually wanted her to guess it right lol

- 

oh yeah today savi told me the story about annalise and its so sad to what happened to her, my heart breaks..

HOLY FUCK WAIT HOLD ON TONIGHT WAS THE NIGHT I WENT OUT WITH my GIRLS, we went to the ax night, mehgan thought it was meet meat ax, not meet me at ax, but yeah uhm we went to kiu and i treated abby to dinner and we got james as our server, super fucking awkward, saying she looked nice and security shit and whateverr, fucking awkward, funny, someone had their windshield wipers up in an underground parking lot, and yeah after, OH YEAH HORRUBLE FUCKING WEATHER, and mehgan wasn’t gonna go but we picked her up and haha no choice and then ate zsa zsa came, it was a snowstorm but fuck it i’ll just drive slow and yeah we went to fly and then WE HAD A FUCKING BLAST, loved the kpop, mehgan fucking killed me, someone unbuttoned my fucking shrit and everything was just fucking hilarious and we left at a certain time but yes, had a fucking blast with my girls <3

-

Friday, the usual, class then lunch with emerald and she was ahving a rough day with her stuff with her t4 and stuff but i still love her ha, and yeah so funny she was like facetiming her grandma to like take a pic of her SIN and it was so funny watching and omfg caitlynn texted me saying to lie to investigaors and shit so I fucking called her and lmao she said it was a joke i hate her, but yeah she told me whats hpanening with her and krystal and it just makes me sad :( sigh I just wish the best for the both of them and want caitlynn to focus on her and jaylen man ugh heartbreaking but yeah, after class I just did homework for a bit or whatever, no I went home and gymmed quick and napped and then it was snowing but i still wanna fucking party and go to this ax event lol and yeah got alana then decided to get mehg after and then went to abby’s and ooooh ate zsa zsa is coming, we went to kiu and lol our server james was os fucking awkard, i said hi to tracy but she doens’t rmeember me lolbut whatever, went to town on dinner ! good good yum yum yummmz, andyeah went to fly afterwards, it was dead but got bumpin’ and i went with the right people <3 i danced with a guy that took off my shirt lOL and i had a blast with mybaddies <3 such agood time with my girlss heheheh, hotties and stuff but hwtaveer, i loved ax haham i said hi to brendan as well lol

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