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pjdredful · 6 years ago

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The AV Club

Chapter 7

"So what are you going to do about that Tony guy?" I have no idea. I don't like the idea of taking him up on his offer to help me. It will be hard to trust him when he's been lying his pants off since day one. I shrug and rest my head against the warm glass of the window. I can tell that Mo is trying to keep my mind off the fact that we're almost to my house so I give the thought my full attention.

"He says he can help me but how do I know he's not just trying to use me. Or that he even knows what he's talking about?" I shake my head more firmly. No. I don't want his help at all. "I think we should stick with what we know and my mom's journal. We're got a few years of research and the internet what more do we really need?"

The underworld can't be that big and bad can it? I mean we can hold our own when we need to and maybe I'll learn how to control my…ability or whatever by myself. My gaze shifts to Lirae in the seat next to me who looks thoughtful before nodding. "Well I don't think we should trust the guy. What do we really know about him? Is he even a therapist for real or is that just a cover to get close to you?"

Huh. Well now I feel really weirded out. It never even crossed my mind that he wasn't a real therapist. Not that I had plans to continue being his patient now and I never really told him anything in the first place but I still feel all kinds of violated. "I don't know. If he's not, he's really working the long game pretty hard. He's not the only therapist in the office and he sees other people."

Mo pipes up from the driver's seat as we roll to a stop at a light a few blocks from my street. "Well if he's the real deal he'll have a digital footprint somewhere. I can spend some time digging around tonight." I nod my agreement at that. It's a good idea. Even if I never speak to him again it's good to know who's out there that knows about me and this stuff. "Not much else we can do other than follow him around for a few days but that'd be a little hard considering he knows what you look like and we all have school."

The car lurches forward as the light turns green and I frown. Man. I was totally thinking about Nancy Drew'ing it and following him around. "I might actually have that covered." I give Lirae a raised brow and she shrugs lightly. "What? I know a guy who could do it for cheap." I roll my eyes and snort because Lirae always knows a person who can do something shady. Wait. That includes me too. Hm. Well that will teach me to throw stones from my crystal manse. My stomach sinks a little when I see my dad's truck in the driveway. Mo parks at the curb, his engine idling roughly and loudly.

"Dude you gotta get that shit fixed its embarrassing." Mo just flips Lirae off as she slides out of the car after me. The car could be held together with duct tape and prayers and only roll downhill but Mo would still love it. It's not actually that far off from my description and I make a mental note to ask Jo-lynn for the name of our mechanic. Just in case Mo needs it. I take the steps up to the porch heavily and sigh. I warm hand slips in to mine and I stop at the doormat. "Hey, it's gonna be okay Evie. You know that right?"

I turn my back on the house, preferring not to look at it for the moment. Lirae tugs my hand lightly and moves to stand in front of me. Well. This is a much better view anyway. "Yeah I know. I'm still kind of butthurt but you're right, they love me." I tug Lirae closer and touch my forehead to hers. "Thanks for walking me to the door but you know nothing would have happened to me from the car to here, right?" Lirae gives me a slightly guilty look when I call her out on it. I've let it go for the past few days but ever since my beacon status became active and especially after that thing with the weird fox guy this morning I haven't been alone except to pee. And even then one of the boys or Lirae was standing just outside the door waiting for me. That could get old fast.

Lirae leans in and kisses me, trapping my lip between her teeth playfully for a second. "Maybe I just wanted to scandalize your dad a little bit." Oh. Well. If that's the case then probably it's not so bad then. I chuckle and cup her face for another kiss. I'm thoroughly enjoying the softness of her full lips and the scent of her shampoo as her soft long curls blow around us in the wind. I'm enjoying it a little too much for Mo's liking because he honks the horn impatiently. Oops. Kinda forgot he was her ride home.

We both turn to give him irritated looks but I take a step back with a sigh. "Guess we'll have to talk about that some more later."

"We are definitely talking about that later. So tomorrow I'm gonna go see my guy about Tony. You should come with me." Probably I'd go anywhere she asked me to but I just nod and steal one last kiss. Lirae pulls away gives my hand one last squeeze before lightly bouncing down the stairs and jogging to the car. I watch them pull away before turning back to the house. I might as well get it over with. A few steps in the door I can hear hushed voices go silent and my step mom pokes her head out of the kitchen.

"I thought I heard the door." She makes her way out of the kitchen toward me. Jo-lynn stops just short of hugging me and arranges a lock of my hair awkwardly as if it's the only gesture she thinks will be safe. "I'm glad you're back, are you hungry? I wasn't sure if you'd be back tonight but I made pesto tortellini and chicken…just in case." That's my favorite dish and she made it special for me. I feel like an utter pill for not realizing, or not wanting to realize how much she really cares about me before. I don't know I'm hugging her until Jo-lynn gives a surprised but pleased exclamation. "Oh, honey, if I had known you liked it that much I would have made it for you special before."

The joke doesn't keep her from hugging me back, or stop her from sniffling just a little but it does make me clear my throat and step back a little. "I'm starving." My stomach gives a loud growl as proof and she chuckles, poking my belly with a finger.

"You could use with some feeding. You're gone two days and you look like a stick. Come sit down and eat, your dad hasn't had dinner yet either." She leads me in to the kitchen where my dad is sitting at the table looking tired and busted as he's reaching over for the garlic bread. "Frank! You can't wait five minutes? Evie, honey go wash your hands. Honestly Frank I can't leave you alone for a second."

My dad's shoulders sink and he leans back in his chair with a grunt. "I was just making sure it was warm." That is the worst excuse ever. I chuckle as I drop my bag on the floor and wash my hands in the kitchen sink. At least he doesn't sound angry, just playfully annoyed. "You don't hurry kiddo I'm eating your serving too." Well. I can't let that happen. It's pesto tortellini.

"Dunno if you're fast enough old man." I steal his fork right out of his hand as I sit down at the table across from my stepmom at my dad's right side. He half chuckles at that and takes his fork back with a jerk. It’s familiar. Safe. And I am so freaking relieved about it. I really didn’t want to get into any deep discussions and I for sure don’t want to fight with them. Either of them. Maybe taking the weekend to stay at the clubhouse was the best thing I could have done. For all of us.

"You hear the mouth on this kid?" Jo-lynn doesn't even bother to hide her happy grin as she watches us playing at the table.

"Hm. You'd think she was a Rossi or something." We both give her identical mock offended stares before dissolving in to laughter. Jo-lynn piles a shallow pasta bowl high and my stomach growls again. Oh God. It smells so good. My dad holds out his hand expectantly when she's done placing a side of bread artfully on the plate but she passes it across to me. "What? You could use with skipping a meal everyone once in a while, if Evie doesn't eat, her stomach will keep us up all night."

"Hey!" There's another round of chuckles but we settle down and dig in. I take a slow bite, savoring it before I just suck it all in to my face like a Hoover vacuum. Oh. God. It's so good. My eyes cross and I hum in appreciation the same time my dad does. Probably Jo-lynn could die of happiness right now the way she's looking at us. I'll say this for Jo, she is an amazing cook, and not so bad of a mom either.

About halfway through my ENORMUS plate of tortellini my dad clears his throat and starts shifting in his seat. Uh oh. I knew it couldn't be so easy as joking fun times like we'd all just forget about the argument. I take a deep breath and lean back in my seat a little. Maybe if I keep chewing I won't have to do any talking. I think he might be just as uncomfortable as I am because my dad makes a frustrated grunting sound and scratches at his jaw. Jo-lynn watches him subtly for a second before smiling a bit at me.

"Evie, your dad wants to tell you something. Go on Frank." The last is a little more direct and I stop my chewing and look at my dad. He looks like he wants to be anywhere but here right now. I know the feeling.

"It's just that um, I'm glad you're back kid. House wasn't the same without you."

I put my fork down slowly and straighten my back. "You mean because you didn't get woken up by my nightmares or the police?" I don't say it with an attitude because I know that my life and my particular circumstances are no peach to deal with. It might hurt to hear him say it but I can't blame him for feeling that way. Even I feel that way about myself sometimes. My dad rests his forearms on the table and looks at me fully for the first time in I don't know how long.

"I'm sorry I said those things, Peanut. I was just really mad because…well because I'm scared that I will lose you like I lost your mom." He hasn't called me Peanut since he put mom away. I look at my silverware, playing with my setting as I nod once.

"That's a valid fear I guess." I hate to admit it but I could end up like my mom. It's kind of terrifying to think about so I try not to dwell on it but it keeps popping up in the back of my mind. If I had a Guardian it would be okay but the only one available is Tony and well. That's just not an option right now.

"No damn it, no it is not. You're not your mom, Evie. You might look like her and you might have her great big heart but you've got my stubborn streak. You're stronger than she was, and you're stronger than I am now. We can do this, we can get you all the help you want and need. It doesn't…" He trails off and I look up at him struggling to articulate something difficult. "I don't have to make the same mistakes I did with your mother."

I think my heart breaks a little hearing him admit that. Jo-lynn rests a hand on his arm reassuringly, letting him know she's here for him. Just like she always has been. Like she's always been here for both of us. "I think that you did the best you could then, Dad. And I think you're doing a pretty dang good job with what ya got going on right now. But..." He quirks his mouth in to a half grin and nods his head.

"But probably I could still try harder." I nod at that accepting his implied apology and acknowledging that he could be more present in my life. I know he loves me, and I've never doubted that but he drifted after mom. I missed him and he's been here the entire time. The sound of Jo-lynn blowing her nose and sniffling through tears makes us both shift uncomfortably. Look. We're a passionate people but we're not big on deep expressions of love here. “It’s not that I didn’t want you to have your mom’s stuff Evie. I just…I wasn’t ready for you to have it.”

I lower my head a little and shrug at that. I want to be angry. I want to be really angry. I just don’t have it in me right now. “That doesn’t make it okay for me, Dad. There are things I need to know. That I haven’t been able to understand and no one can explain it to me better than mom could. Keeping things a secret from me isn’t helping me. Or any of us.” I know I have to get back to reading her journal. Especially since I pitched a fit about it and all. It’s just that maybe like my dad, I’m just not ready to read it yet. “Maybe probably I could have tried not to throw a tantrum about it though.” He gives me a slow grin that I return knowing that while we’re not one hundred percent okay right this second, we’re gonna be.

"You two. Peas in a pod. Eat your dinner it's getting cold." She blows her nose again and I stab a tortellini ruthlessly and shove it in my mouth. Alright. That wasn't so bad. A little heartbreaking but not terrible. And my dad called me Peanut and wants to be there for me. There's just one problem. I'm eventually going to have to get around to telling him and Jo-lynn what's really happening. I chew meditatively for a few minutes before Jo-lynn composes herself enough to derail my thought train entirely. "Honey now that you've you know, come out, there are going to have to be some new rules about girls staying over."

The tortellini gets stuck in my throat when I suck in a surprised breath and I have to cough a few times to clear it. Uh. Why are we talking about this? What's happening right now? I look at my dad in a panic as he continues to shovel food in to his mouth as if Jo-lynn didn't just refer to the idea of me getting down with a girl during a sleepover. He stops to slap a big beefy hand on my back a few times to unstick the tortellini in my throat then goes back to eating. I continue to stare at him until he looks at me.

"Well don't look at me. You're never coming home knocked up, that's good enough for me."

"Frank!" Oh God. Oh. My. God. I can’t handle this. Where is that earth rending portal to another universe when you need it? I tap the ground tentatively hopeful at my feet with the toe of my shoe. Nope. Still solid. Damn I'm stuck here. "This is serious, don't you care about your daughter's dating habits?" Oh well. I don't date so that's not really an issue is it? Although now maybe that will be changing since I have this unnamed…thing…with Lirae.

My dad sighs and grunts before turning to look at me, fork in one hand, beer in the other. "Look kid, my advice to you is pretty much the same. No means no, and if someone doesn't like it ya kick 'em right in the crotchular area. Or you know maybe…" He makes a vague boob gesture then frowns as the idea fully hits him. "You know maybe we just don't do the whole dating thing at all until you're 35."

My stepmom sighs and swats at his shoulder with the back of her hand. "Tsk. Frank. She's doesn't have to be a spinster because she's gay."

"OKAY!" I clear my throat and push my plate away a little trying to interrupt the flow of this particular conversation. "How about we just say I don't do anything that you wouldn't allow me to do with a boy and leave it at that? Please?" Thank God none of my friends are here to see this. Orson would find my discomfort entirely too entertaining. My dad just shrugs, I think he's just relieved he's not likely to be a grandfather any time soon. Jo-lynn considers then gives me a slight nod.

"You know you can talk to us about anything. Your father and I are not like our parents were. We're a little more hip with the times. You can tell us about girls…"

"No! No, thank you. Um. That's great and I'm glad but I'm good. We don't need to do that. Like. Ever. Please." Please God let's not do that. My dad reaches over and pats Jo-lynn's arm lightly as if to say there there, we've done enough needling for one night.

"Pass the bread please." And just like that we move on to something much more important. Food. Guess I didn't need that inter-dimensional rift to hell after all.

#my writing #the av club story #dredful tales

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