#rosaeau

[maginoire-blog]

It’s a Match!

You and Insoo ( @rosaeau )  have liked each other. [ SEND A MESSAGE ]

so do I have to be witty to get this free date? 🧐🧐 or can we just be honest here  i’m cute. you’re cute. i want a date. you want a date. soooooo what’s the hold up? 😇

[tuwam]

@rosaeau }

it’s not cold this time. that’s the first thing she notices. it’s not cold to where she can blame the numbness on her fingers. rub them together to keep herself occupied. it’s not cold and she’s can’t quite find anything to keep herself occupied. the phone does a good job of giving her weight to focus on, the voice on the line pressed so close to her ear that the words make her shudder. but she’s drifting - nothing to really ground her.

not the way the trees rustle around her. not the sound of gravel, rough and scraped against her sneakers. it’s been a while since she’d worn these. it’s been a while since she used them but in the past month that’s all she’d done. run and run and run until her body was on fire. until her chest burned and she was forced to see the stars above as she laid. in grass, in gravel, away from thoughts that plagued her during the day.

she’s been running. circles around the neighborhood near her house, daring only occasionally to run too far. far enough to where her father would call and ask where she was going. far enough to where her phone would beep and she’d ignore it. like today, where she muted everything that wasn’t jamie, sam or seungho. muted and went about the concrete until even her feet were on fire.

she finds herself back in that same playground, back against the wood chips, back in the same tiredness. the one that doesn’t come from lack of sleep or too much activity. the kind she can’t just sleep off and keeps her wide awake.

the more she stares up at the sky, the more she wishes to dip inside of it. to slide until she’s gone. but she can’t. she can’t really do anything. about her situation, about where she is, figuratively and literally. she hears the voice through the phone telling her to breathe and she finds her chest expanding again.

“i’m fine.” she repeats.

[grmrper-a]

@rosaeau summoned death for a starter.

The library, row after row of books with erect spines standing proud in a declaration of what they carry, and what feels like miles of shelves stand in glory. This is a place Haru can call home, this is a place his soul can find solitude. Even he quivers under the humbling magnitude of human knowledge.

And in between busy students and proud books, he sees red lips and fast fingers. Determined, that’s what she looks like to him. 

She walks. 

He follows. 

And between them a shelf disguises him.

He watches her carefully and finds her all the more fascinating. She looks unbothered and bothered simultaneously, or perhaps, it is just Haru’s inability to read her.

And finally, his disguise finds an end, the two of them stand, face to face. His heart makes a jump, and startled, he lets his books fall to the ground. But Haru is not phased by this. Instead, he stares into her eyes. They are attention-grabbing, but not entirely present.

He has been caught, red-handed.

[intuwam]

takeabreak.

@rosaeau }

take a break.

jongin’s heard it before. memorized the phrase even when he can’t hear it. even when the music is too loud, like now. when the music’s blasting through the practice room and baekhyun’s too tired to yell. too tired to do much but sit down across from the mirror and watch. smile every now and then, make silly motions with his hands but never join in. not when jongin’s going as fast as he is now. and never when he used to go as hard in the past.

but he can see the words, see them when he catches baekhyun’s gaze in the mirror.

he’s heard it so many times before. seen it so many times before that the smile he offers is automatic. it’s a reassurance. i can keep going. i’m not tired. i’m fine. all the above. it’s become something of a default in the profession they have. they’ve all mastered it. the smile that their perfectionism gets behind to keep them going. the smile that most of them know not to combat. to just let run it’s course. 

nowadays though, when baekhyun says take a break, it’s not as reserved. it’s not knowing that it won’t reach jongin. because nowadays it’s started to reach. because instead of sitting and watching jongin run himself through, he’ll move. from the couch, through the music and jongin’s motions, until his hand’s on the younger’s shoulder. on his arm, on anything he can grasp. to pull him down, sit him down and cool the blood boiling under his skin.

that’d been the idea at first. to have someone who could calm the younger members, him and sehun mostly, always driven to practicing until they couldn’t breathe. baekhyun’s long found ways of making jongin relax until he’s falling flat against the cool floor. out of breath and thankful in ways he couldn’t quite express.

see nowadays, when jongin smiles his smile, it’s less driven, less determined. it’s a tad playful. from wherever baekhyun sits in the room. from where he begins, perched from the couch in the back, to closer on the practice floor, a few feet from where jongin dances. jongin just smiles, moves a little lazy now, and gaze a little fixed. a little gentle.

he can’t help if baekhyun pulls that out of him. won’t help now that he’s noticed it.

instead he’ll keep moving, watching as baekhyun busies himself for a bit. will keep moving even though he knows after a while he really can’t look at anything but the older male. watch how his head leans back, how he shakes off the fatigue that starts to slip in. how his eyes get a little droopy and the way he watches jongin starts to get a little hooded, a little low. in how he looks after the day’s over, traces of makeup from a schedule still on his face, mainly eyeliner and shadow. in simple clothing but a t-shirt that’s hanging off his shoulder. 

how gorgeous it is. how distracting the thought it. how distracting baekhyun is.

how jongin’s trying so hard to focus on something other than baekhyun’s neck when he leans back to let out his first real sigh of the evening - seriously this isn’t fair.

and baekhyun must know, because when his eyes open and jongin can take his eyes of his neck, off the dip of that shirt to his chest, he’s smiling. knowingly. jongin’s blush means more than the time he’s spent dancing and sweating.

it’s not fair. but baekhyun doesn’t mean, spreads his arms atop his legs but that’s it. watches jongin and waits. waits for the song to hit this run-through before he’s reaching one arm forward. and jongin would be lying if he said he used any strength at all to resist the pull. the tug that has him falling backward and into the older’s arms. into a hold that takes seconds to have jongin sinking into it. sinking though he’s silent for a few minutes, flitting quietly with his phone to stop the next song from blasting. silent as his breaths fill the air first, a cool down playlist seconds after.

it’s really not fair.

‘you practice so hard, someone would walk in and think you’re a trainee.’

baekhyun’s voice is light. gentle, like how his fingers start to card through jongin’s hair. he’s sweaty and his hair’s matted on his forehead but that doesn’t stop the elder. couldn’t stop him really. this is too routine for it to stop, jongin’s expressed how he likes it far too much for it to stop. even with the strength sapped from him, he leans back further just to feel the tip of the other’s fingers against his forehead. cool, soothing, contrasting the warm tingle he gets each time baekhyun speaks.

“i would hope i don’t look as wild as a trainee when I practice.”

jongin’s voice is low. just as gentle, but quieter. always falling into a daze when someone pulls him out of a practice session. it’s not bad - it’s like coming down from a high only to be floating. floating and focusing on little things. not what he was practicing for, not what he needs to work on or anything that’ll attack him the minute he walks out these doors. but simpler things. like how close baekhyun’s lips are to him when he talks. just how low his voice gets when it’s just the two of them. how shy jongin feels for wanting to scoot closer and closer but how he does it anyway. and baekhyun accepts.

how he always accepts.

‘our jongin?’ his chest thumps. ‘dancing as wild as a trainee? couldn’t let that happen.’

he knows baekhyun is teasing him. jongin knows that he has a tendency to do so. knows it’s evolved a bit from what’s on-stage though. knows that if he were to open his eyes, look up from where his head has found comfort on the elder’s chest, he would see exactly what makes this different from the stage. from the time with all the other members stuck in practice, from any other day when jongin needs to relax and needs a friend. 

one look and he’d know. 

so he smiles instead, too unstable to face it. knowing a glance up would have him melting through the floor and unsure if baekhyun would catch him. would he?

‘what was that?’ “what?” ‘would i what?’

catch me. hold me. love me.

jongin swallows. is sure baekhyun can feel is shudder through his body with how close they are.

he doesn’t want to break that. doesn’t want to risk baekhyun’s warmth moving, his hands leaving, his voice getting further and further. he doesn’t want to. so he shakes his head.

“nothing hyung.”

brushes it off.

‘relax jongin, take a nap.’ “don’t let my head hit the floor.” ‘i wouldn’t dream of it.’

and holds onto what he has.

[gwyynbleidd-a]

07 ( from my yeoreum / to literally anyone you want to use for this )

〈   @rosaeau︰ source ︰ accepting  〉

    ↳   07:  inspired

          An assortment of teas brewing filled the air they inhaled in the tea shop. Each flavor just barely touched their tongue, distracting them from enjoying their own mug. In an abstract way, it almost felt as if they were stealing from other customers just by breathing in. Their eyes closed and they reclined against the back of their seat to take in the moment of calm. Idly, their fingers drummed against the hot porcelain, it’s temperature – and that of the beverage slowly cooling down inside – not so much as phasing the dragon, even in their human form. Being in repose was always when they began to feel a certain itch, an urge to take a souvenir that would serve as a reminder of how relaxed they were in the comforts of this little business.          Observant eyes opened, slowly, taking in their surroundings with purpose this time. What would be the perfect token? Nothing belonging to a customer, as that would surely be tied to them. Something shiny, preferably. ‘Perhaps an item on display?’ they thought, eyeing a beautiful but small potted plant beside the register. It was by no means something that glimmered the way gold did, but it would have to do. Assuming no one would be remotely like them, Minseo rose to their feet and left their tea temporarily to make for the counter holding their prize.          “Excuse me, ma’am?” Their voice spoke to the presumed owner with a soft cadence, feigning innocence and a nonthreatening demeanor, “You wouldn’t happen to have almond milk, would you? It’s just that I’m a–” A swift and imperceptible flick of their disguised tail struck the nearest patron’s leg as they walked behind them. Quickly tumbling down onto the floor, his plate of pastries shattering into pieces around him. Minseo jumped, playing the part of a startled young woman staring at the mess at her feet, even daring to add a breathy gasp for a dramatic effect. All the while, her pilfering hand waited for the opportune moment to swipe her target off the counter top.

[illusionariesarchive-blog]

🙇

meme: send 🙇 and i’ll reply with a muse of yours i’m curious about / status: not accepting

i already mentioned this, but your writing is gorgeous and so evocative that i loved reading the information you do have up for your muses!! DANNA’s in particular really gripped me immediately and i wanted to know more about her and her story! i also loved the way you wrote about SCARLET; you can really feel her age and exhaustion. and HYOMI’s is just beautiful like part of that just hit me deep inside and uh, i love these ladies so much already!! 

[mllekim]

will be moving this blog to my multi! will turn her into an oc idol--for personal reasons. hmu @rosaeau if you want to keep writing, thx!

[redemptioninterlude]

It was only ever meant to be a bakery, and yet it felt a little bit like a slice of heaven, a piece of salvation in an otherwise fucked up existence.

Putting on an apron, a smile, smoothing the white linen shirt to prepare the collar, the dark brown apron that fit around her shoulders, her waist. All of it felt like an armour meant to ward off the world at large, the relief that they were meant to be able to provide to those that came through the door. It meant that regardless of her own personal thoughts and feelings in the moment, that they could make it better with just a little bit of that baker’s magic. Or at least, that was what she liked to imagine, even if she only really helped out front, with hardly any help provided save the prep that they underwent in those 6 am sessions that lasted up until the open sign flickered to life out front.

It was nice to allow herself that kind of break, shoulders easing forwards, arms braced against the counter as she looked over her shoulder to the flour-smudged magician in the back, a fainter smile on her face. Thankful that the girl took her in to help out here in the first place, remembering herself at the time as being desperate for a job, any job, at the time. And now? A dash of stability did wonders for a human being, the door opening, and with it, her spine furling back to straight, that winning smile, grateful nods offered up in all directions. “Thank you, thank you~ Can I help you?” with cheerfulness that never quite felt forced here, a sigh slipping out, the end of it, caught within the cavern of her mouth as she turned to start on the coffee machine, making herself a cup so that she could wonder towards the back where Joyeon secluded herself presently.

“Long day... you want one?” Offering it up first, before she even took a sip, wanting to be helpful, as always, her long hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail to keep it out of the way as she worked. Reaching over to help with the packaging of cookies, pralines, the kind of sweets whose names she only ever learned ever since she’d picked up working here, tying up the ribbons around the end of the boxes, knowing they’d be shipped out later to customers who offered up their own take home experience, leaning forwards against the counter, flour dusting at her elbows. “How you feeling?”

 plotted starter with @rosaeau // joyeon 

( this is so so so late but i’m finally free from work! )

[tuwam]

trial and error.

@rosaeau

alternatively, snippets of taeyang failing to ask out his crush and his crush just, doing it better.

'you’re pacing.’ “i’m not.” he is. taeyang always paces, it’s a habit. like chattering teeth, biting nails, stuttering when he’s nervous. he does the stuttering rather often actually but it falls into other things as well. because he gets nervous often, he’s usually a nervous wreck because of one person in general, the very reason he’s pacing when he should be doing his rounds. ( see: no patients were harmed in the soothing of his stress. )

‘you are. what’s wrong?’ suji likes to gossip, but in the same regard she likes to make sure her interns aren’t completely useless. gives her more work and gossip that makes her have a headache and gives her migraines. taeyang considers telling her, considers saving himself the embarrassment. ‘it’s that barista isn’t it?’ too late. because of course everyone and their grandmother knows about his monumental crush and that he’s done - nothing about it.

but what is he to do.

‘ask the man out stop being a chicken.’

not that. “definitely not that.” ‘you’ve been pining for almost two years tae.’ as if to drive the words home she’s shoving a bundle of towels and disinfectant to stock the next room. it’s like a hit to the chest, a pang to his chest at exactly how long he’s harbored a crush and has done - nothing about it. 

‘it’s kind of sad.’ said at the end of their shift when taeyang’s phone is snug in his hand, wondering, hovering over the words to type out. and once again everyone and their grandmother are watching. “i’m waiting for the right time?” he’s lying but his fingers are shaking over the sentence, halfway typed and halfway to the send button. ‘yeah okay, when he holds a green light over his head that says you’re free to ask me out let me know.’

unlikely.

‘just be bold, stop waiting!’ will he be bold? he types out the words, will you go on a date with me, sees them bold and glaring and so unlike him on the screen. sees the silly emoji he’d sent just an hour earlier when hyunshik told taeyang to let him work and ordered him to continue working. he thinks about the timing, about sending the message and the response. thinks about what he’s afraid of most. thinks about how bold he can be, running on three cups of triple espresso shots and a double shift. thinks about how he might never show up to the shop again if he sends this message, regardless of the response.

he thinks about himself as a bold person and decide that it’s....

very unlikely.

he ignores the groans as he grabs his jacket and instead heads to the shop to make his nightly routine visit.

‘i don’t think i’ve ever seen hyunshik tolerate someone as much as he does you.’

the words catch his off-guard. and of course taeyang’s a mess, almost spilling his drink of his hands, hands that nearly drop the drink as the words travel. of course, joowon makes it his job to get taeyang as flustered and distressed as possible. the male enjoys it, probably because hyunshik makes his world miserable, joowon’s words by the way.

“what are you talking about?” joowon’s in the middle of smiling his dimpled smile at another customer over the machine. probably a girl. but he does glance at taeyang, with a look he’s too familiar with. it’s the are you serious look and really taeyang is serious, he has no idea what joowon is talking about. he knows he’s tolerated but - "hyung tolerates you guys too doesn’t he?”

‘he sure as hell doesn’t bring us coffee when we’re tired. or take leisurely walks with us down the street at midnight. hi my name’s taeyang and i like long walks along han river.’ “shut-up.” he contemplates actually throwing the drink, thinks hyunshik might be rubbing off him. but then he remembers the time put in making it and ends up holding it even closer. holding it up to hold the blush taking over his features because really - joowon is insufferable. ‘you guys may as well date. you both enjoy long walks on the han river. color me confused as to why you aren’t.’ color taeyang confused as to why he didn’t throw the drink. or why he’s still standing here, listening to joowon talk as if they were the only ones in the shop, as if the girls waiting on their coffee weren’t enjoying it and giggling at each word. or why everyone is so invested i the state of his nonexistent love life and his private midnight walks with hyunshik. they were routine! they’d happened one day and just kept happening but he sees no point in correcting it, as joowon is grinning so wide from behind that godforsaken machine. “you’re enjoying this far too much.” ‘you’re pretty cute - aside from the fact that i’ve never seen you with a good night’s rest and out of your work clothes.’ “sue me, i’m a nurse’s assistant.” ‘hm. maybe try coming here out of your work clothes. wear something a little more you - have hyunshik drop his coffee.’

unlikely.

taeyang isn’t aware he’s said it out loud until he catches the look joowon gives him from over the machine, no longer the dimpled smile, but a rather deep frown. it makes taeyang fidget. he hasn’t entertained the thought, hasn’t had time to really come here outside of heading to work, classes take up a lot of time and when he does come he’s bundled or thrown something on before going to study or going to head home. he hasn’t had time to dress himself for a while, not that it’d matter. 

would it matter? him coming in one of his favorite fall sweaters, colorful t-shirts for the spring. it’s been a while since he’d felt the need to dress for his mood, dress at all really. but hyunshik seeing him in something different, hyunshik actually reacting to it - taeyang can’t imagine that. can’t imagine how much more confident he might be in his regular clothes, as opposed to worn out in his work uniform. ‘i see you’re considering my proposal. maybe even try a crop-top i heard it’s in style these days.’ that effectively causes taeyang to snap out his daze and instead of dropping his drink he’s choking on it. doing all he can to stop the prospect - the idea from getting any further into his head because god no. god forbid.  ‘stop harassing him joowon, you have three specialties to make.’ as if to make things worse, joowon is hopping to work, saluting hyunshik and taeyang is trying to look like nothing happened. “sorry i was distracting him hyung.” ‘it’s fine. don’t drink so fast next time, you could’ve choked.’ taeyang’s nodding fast, lifting the cup to cover his own embarrassment and ignoring the looks joowon sends him yet again, from behind that damned machine.

‘i’ve never seen you this - meticulous.’ “it’s my only day off, i’m trying to tidy up.” ‘tidy up my ass you’re trying to pick an outfit.’

taeyang’s sister just - refuses to let him live a peaceful life. she’s calculating even from the video screen he’s got perched on the nightstand. jinyoung is nestled in her arms, both of them watching taeyang flit about to organize his closet. that’s what he’s doing and no one can tell him otherwise.

‘do you have a date?’ “no.”

taeyang’s busy matching colors on himself, his sister knowing becoming the last of his worries.

‘i don’t know tae, you’re so excited for him, how do you know he’s the same?’ taeyang turns over from where the yellow striped shirt is placed against his stomach. ‘obviously you haven’t done anything for this long because you were unsure? do you know if he likes you at all? he’s pretty aloof from what you’ve told me?’

“‘his co-worker said, he tolerates me more.” ‘i tolerate you the most, i wouldn’t date you.’

taeyang is shrugging, so quick that the shirt rises, brushes against skin and the nerves he already feels start to creep back in. he’s thought about this, about the prospect of getting rejected, in fact it’s the only concern he’s had. how to approach if it happens, how he’s had nothing to base his confidence in asking on, just gut and encouragement from others.

if it fails well they can catch him hibernating for the next few years.

‘tan sweater silly. it hangs off the shoulder. light blue jeans, fix the belt and you’re set. a regular hipster pining after the cute barista working by his school.’ “shut up.”

his sister’s about as insufferable as joowon.

‘good luck, tell me how it goes.’

she means well though.

‘someone’s looking snazzy.’ “is hyung working today?” ‘you know he is you have his schedule memorized.’

taeyang prevents any retort that can come next when hyunshik is walking out the back door. he’d done all this, built up all his nerves, dressed nice and he was the one now nervous and feeling like the task was harder than intended.

‘can i write my number on your chai latte cutie?’ taeyang’s going to strangle joowon, but seems hyunshik’s already ordering him to attend to the floor, saving taeyang from further embarrassment. it’s chilly in the shop and he can feel it on his shoulder blades, feels a hell of a lot more exposed when he’s standing before hyunshik. especially when he wants to look into those eyes and he thinks he might combust.

“ah hyung -” hyunshik looks up and taeyang abandons all thoughts of getting this done in one go. “I gave joowon my cup so he’ll just put it in there if that’s okay?” ‘that’s fine, i thought you might be taking it to go.’ “no, i’m dining in if that’s alright, it’s my day off.” ‘taeyang-ah, you don’t have to ask me to dine-in.’

true. 

instead taeyang smiles his usual one, sheepish and with his head a little ducked.

joowon brings the mug to the table with a sly grin and taeyang nearly kicks him away. this is something that’s a little routine too, when taeyang gets a break during a shift and he can come over and place his head on the table, moan and groan about work and revel in the fact that hyunshik lets him, sometimes sits beside him and listens to him. especially when they don’t have customers like today and hyunshik takes a seat while joowon flits back and forth on the floor. taeyang enjoys this, the small talk, the talks that he doesn’t have to dwell on afterward. but he will anyway because they’re with hyunshik.

but he thinks, as he sits and watches hyunshik. how he watches joowon, making sure he doesn’t have to do damage control. how hyunshik’s started to lean comfortably against the chair rather than stand leaned against the table. hyunshik who has opened up more than taeyang would ever guess, or hope. all he’s ever asked for was maybe a smile, an acknowledgement. never this. it’s welcomed though. hyunshik’s handsome profile, the way his lips curl into mischief at joowon’s struggle, how taeyang is too fond of the rough and soft edges he’s managed to see.

and he fears that. fears losing that by overstepping boundaries. by asking. 

it makes him all the more aware of the mug he’s using, of the plan he’s concocted.

so he finishes a little slower, slow enough for hyunshik to excuse himself to tackle the afternoon rush. slow enough for joowon to be on the floor when taeyang gets up, and for him to be almost certain that joowon will be the one picking up the mug.

‘you’re leaving already?’ joowon looks skeptical, eyes darting towards the empty mug on the table. but taeyang is all smiles after spending the day with hyunsik, even without the titles or the plan or anything. just the time, the smiles and small words. that’s good. “mhm, just came to see hyung!”

he leaves a little more content than he thought he’d be, mission thoroughly unaccomplished.

he leaves the empty mug, with i like you scrawled in the bottom, to be picked up instead not by his crush but by a rather puzzled joowon.

taeyang’s content. he’s warded off all questions, particularly suji, his sister and joowon who nearly breaks the mug when he waves it around the next time they meet. he’s content and in his favorite hoodie, warm with the thought of getting to help hyunshik close up shop again and walk home. he hasn’t been able to spend much time with the elder, other than the time spent that wonderful day taeyang’s plan fell through.

he’s content.

so the words certainly, catch him off guard. hyunshik coming to him, normally, not any less or any more than usually. just normal and asking,

‘wanna go out sometime?’

[maginoire-blog]

"Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?" ( Insoo to Ara - yes i found my own pick up line )

cheesy pick up lines.

“Who said you were one of my first wishes to begin with?” The blonde’s quick to quip back at his response, a grin plastered across her face as she teased him. “Why wouldn’t my first wish be to become a millionaire? Unless this is you officially claiming your status as my sugar daddy.”

[tuwam]

comfort.

‘are you okay hanna?’ jamie asks, with snickers that she can’t keep in from across the table. “no.” and as she says it, hanna’s feels another itch at her skin, causing her head to fall promptly back on the desk.

[ the soulmate au where once you meet your soulmate, it’s physically uncomfortable to be apart from them for too long. ft. minna @rosaeau​ ]

rewind to a few months ago.

hanna didn’t need a damn tutor. she was a good student, no matter what her english professor said. she mentions that she has dreams of entering the new york fashion scene and her father jumps at the chance to flaunt his money.

“it’s a bad idea pop.” they’re at the kitchen table when he suggests the idea, his ridiculous money themed apron on while his mother makes sure he doesn’t burn another pancake that he tries to flip. hanna’s father is - a joke. to her and her mother. a joke that her mother can’t seem to get enough of and while he almost lands the pancake on her face both of them are laughing. hanna for a few seconds before she returns to her previous statement. “i don’t need a tutor.”

while he looks like he might cave, her mother is the one to grab the skillet handle and fix hanna with a look. her dad’s easy to persuade, her mother, not so much. for the life of her, hanna sits there and tries to figure out how the two of them can possibly match. her father, gambling addict, tycoon owner whose about as silly as they come when he steps out of his world with flashing lights. her mother, stubborn, hard-working and caring less about money unless it’s to keep her going, keep her free. her mother’s stubborn but her father’s persistent. 

she watches them wrestle for the skillet before her mother’s expertly flipping one. naturally, it’s the one thing she doesn’t get about soulmates. she’s heard so much about it, and is told she’s lucky to be able to see it up close. it’s unpredictable and apparently the talk of the world.

soulmates. not in the way people write them in stories, dreams them up when they talk about how they wish romance to be. actual soulmates, destined to be by something that humans can’t quite comprehend. because each story is different, all everyone knows is once you know you know. by something less cheesy than a spark in a kiss or a tug on the heart. something physical, almost biological.

hanna doesn’t know the details, she just knows her parents had that experience and now they’re never apart. it’s cute, but she’s trying to win a case here, so she’s boring holes into her father’s resolve.

‘you’re not paying attention in classes hanna.’ “noted. still don’t need a tutor.” ‘you don’t care about anything that’s not fashion hanna.’ “noted. but i don’t need a tutor.”

‘at least try it out seol.’ a tough blow. a low blow. hanna regards her father with a glare before she’s grabbing her things to head to her first class. 

hurray for econ.

‘he used your name?’ hanna’s only solace from these troubles are jamie. jamie who is greeting her outside of class with a chocolate mocha and hanna could kiss her. could, but she’s too busy sipping at the drink and relishing it all. the joy and wonders of a mocha on a hot day.  “he knows I won’t say no.” the decision to go by hanna came from the time spent with her mother, just a little joke about the flowers she’d put on her designs when she was younger. she’s far past the flower-dazzle stage but the name stuck.  ‘okay but, you don’t study for english, they’re not wrong.’ “whose side are you even on these days, the disrespect.” ‘just try it out, it might be good? if not i’ll learn it just to tutor you.’ “your lover boy might be mad but just to humor myself, i will.”

jamie makes a motion, maybe to fight the lover boy comment but hanna is too busy dashing up the library stairs.

the thing is, she knows she’s not paying enough attention to her english class. simply because when she’d expressed her interest in the new york market, she meant learning a bit for her visit there. learning the essentials and not the fundamentals of the language. of course her father is who he is, a renown businessman and if there was one thing he drove home it was that she should never half-ass anything. family drawings in elementary school - have hers at the top. golf carts races with her family - first place. if she wanted to be in fashion, she had to conquer. she had to explain to him why couture houses just - wasn’t a possibility in this day and age.

the rest was very much doable. her competitive streak comes from him no doubt. but, she wasn’t to blame if she just wasn’t that into her english class as she was her other classes. the business classes were a necessity and well the fashion classes were just that. long before she realized she was failing even vocabulary quizzes because of lack of studying, and they were so far into the grammar components she couldn’t catch up.

it was frustrating but she’d be damned if she let anyone else know that.

aside from jamie hanna had accumulated something of a reputation on their campus. other than the reputation that came with her father’s empire, she was simply known for being a socialite. being at parties but never interacting with people, just shining in diamonds she just had to bat her lashes to get. for that, hanna just liked to try new designs around the masses, she didn’t even enjoy the parties, but the image must be maintained for the goal ahead. really, most of her time is spent with jamie. when people sit and gossip to one another, whether about her or the newest soulmate phenomenon, she’s never a part of it.

only now she hears the giggling behind her when jamie finds a spot for them to set up shop. hanna’s econ books thrown around while jamie tosses her english book atop them all.

'apparently, sam’s friends. joon and ahyeon?’ hanna makes a hum that she’s listening, though her eyes show she’s contemplating opening this damned book. ‘they’re soulmates and he’s having a hard time stopping them from killing each other.’ “huh?” when she does look up jamie is engrossed in her phone, as usual, and hanna gets revenge by dropping her huge ethics book on top of her pile. jamie’s jump in her seat and scandalized look is just the reaction she’d expected. ‘he won’t say rather- he says he doesn’t know why. they’re antsier than usual.’ “makes you wonder if it’s all really a good thing? or if the match up is legit.”

‘well, it worked for your parents.’ 

another hum.

“i suppose.”

hanna just doesn’t enjoy the thought of having no control, can’t really fathom how her mother handled it. but it’s not something she needs to think about - and it’s joon and ahyeon’s problem not her own. she has english to pretend to study so that jamie will give her sketchbook back.

if there’s one thing hanna loves more than anything (and jamie) it’s being right.

‘it could’ve have been all bad.’ see it’s been a week and some days since her father committed to getting her tutors. she’s had to try a tutor each day and hanna’s damn near ready to rip her hair out.

it’s been, a wild few days. and jamie’s expression shows she’s enjoying the insufferable stories more than she should. if it weren’t for the vanilla bean that’s before her, hanna might actually forego the entire story. but she’d been right, this was a bad idea.

day one.

hanna’s on-time. tired from studying all night for her art history class, fingers patched from an accident with her sewing machine. granted, she wasn’t in the best mood from the beginning. she’s on-time though, her books and pencil case laid out neatly on the cafe table. a cafe table of all places.

he comes, and it’s a guy because he’s announcing his presence before he even sits down. there’s nothing really wrong with him, he’s a little loud, a few minutes late but hanna’s always a little too punctual so it’s understandable. what she remembers is that he dressed nice and she’s sure she has a business class with him.

'okay let’s get right to it shall we?’ he’s the asshat who talks too much because he wants everyone to know that he knows too much and wants too much. in short, greedy. ‘let’s test your knowledge of english first alright?’ his name is minhyun and hanna had never wanted a death note faster in her twenty two years of living.

because the test was the problem. not his perfectly combed up hair, or his perfect teeth, or the tailored suit he always fucking wears to class because he has to be that business major. hell his accent wasn’t even the problem. it was the test - with questions specifically tailored to her understanding of business and her father. as well as a reading comprehension that was simply a list of his achievements. the nerve.

“do you just want to cut a deal with my dad?” ‘what? no - what?’ his english was surprisingly good here. ‘however, if it were possible, could you slide him the resume?’ when her coffee arrived she was sure to pour it all over that damned exam and leave.

( jamie promptly laughed at this one because ‘hanna you didn’t’ and hanna took one more sip before saying ‘yes i did’. )

day two.

they meet in the student courtyard, hanna taking the time to attempt to sunbathe and lower her blood pressure. it as a nice day which meant crop tops and athletic leggings, seeing as she’d just come from a run. something to clear her mind before this english tutoring completely consumed her. hopefully the heat would do it first.

here’s the thing. hanna works out, has to work out if maybe one day she has to model her pieces for someone. technically she’s always modeling her pieces, plus her mother is a workout buff so she’s always at the gym. her figure is exceptional though it’s hidden behind her fashion.

so, she’s not confused when she feels eyes on her. they’re college students but apparently some of the male students are as shameless as ever. no one could be as shameless as minhyun so she’s ready to give a proper scolding, when she recognizes the face.

well not at first. but she should’ve.

“unless you plan on never having kids, i’d look away.” a cough and the male standing above her is tumbling apologies. ‘i’m your tutor, seolhyun-ssi.’ which is weird because few people call her by her full name. hanna is curling her legs under her before gesturing out for him because what. the. fuck?

the test was fine. the test was actually alright, aside from the outdated questions that she’s sure she’s seen somewhere before. no the test wasn’t the problem, the fact that they were outdoors wasn’t, and certainly not that he called her by her name. the problem was that he couldn’t keep his eyes off her while she took the test, or while she spoke. it’s one look, one particular look before hanna remembers.

“don’t you work for my father?” ( it’s at this point in the story that jamie yells out a ‘nooooo’ ) ‘ah, so you remember me?’ she remembers him, remembers his long-standing crush on her and him bothering her each time she went to visit one of the hotels. it was creepy. this was creepier. “uh-huh. two minutes before I call my father’s guards.” he was off like a light.

hanna was exasperated.

the next one, a girl her age who apparently was korean-american. a girl who spent half the time just swapping instagram feeds and asking for pictures and tours of hanna’s closet. it hit a limit when hanna caught her taking pictures of her designs. she’d almost broken her phone - instead she factory reset it. she’d accepted the praise her mother had given her and the high five jamie had given her when she heard.

the one after that - an older woman because yes that was the problem age. an older woman who aside from being entirely too punctual was going on and on about the history of english and it’s arrival into korea. then she proceeded to discuss why english was important and should be studied before she addressed that hanna was not studying english and was studying fashion and why that was bad. yeah, when that tirade started, hanna just up and left.

It doesn’t help that the one for the next day had ended up rescheduling and hanna – didn’t have it in her to accept nor decline, she just didn’t have the energy to deal with another joke.

she was tired of playing tutor roulette.

‘just drop english.’ Is jamie’s final answer after hanna’s given her the full rundown of her week, head lowered until her forehead’s almost touching the top of her drink. “my father wouldn’t let me dare.” It’s her ego too, her ego that won’t let her just give up on it and while Jamie knows, she’d rather hanna sit in her own stubbornness than tell her about it. she does however, offer a comforting hand to ruffle hanna’s hair like she always does giving hanna time to jolt up from her miserable position and fix her hair with a pout.

‘try this last one out, if they’re that bad than I promise I’ll save you from your misery and tutor you myself.’ “deal.”

they meet in the library. jamie’s been a dear and promised hanna another refill of the vanilla bean she’d gratefully placed on the table, as long as she clears this session. clear meaning she doesn’t leave early though hanna is looking at the clock for the minute reason she needs to book it out. jamie is sitting a table away and watching intently and hanna, hanna is sitting rather miserably, chin on the table, eyes on her watch, and fingers playing with the drink that’s currently keeping her alive.

please be late please be late please be late.

‘kim seolhyun?’ she looks up, dreading the sense of déjà vu that’s about to come over her because what. she notices a few things, he’s very tall, very on-time, and very unlike the image she’s been ready to torment her. he’s in a button-up and he’s already sitting across from her as he starts to pull things out his bag. ‘I’m bang minsoo your tutor.’ he’s tall, tall to the point where if she were standing she’d still have to view him from this angle. well she is watching him from a weird angle and he’s still pulling things out his bag. It’s a normal bag too, his clothes, normal too. he’s – normal. aside from exceptionally soft looking hair but who cares about that.

“you’re on time.” ‘I am.’ “you’re dressed normal.” ‘as are most college students.’ it’s then that she realizes he’s all about finished taking out all of his things, now scattered neatly across the table and she’s aware of the things she doesn’t have spread out. ‘now are you ready?’ “for what?”

‘I’ve reviewed your class syllabus and I’m planning on at least getting you prepared for your coming quiz, then we can start with fundamentals and such.’ he’s flipping through papers, books and hanna’s suddenly sitting a lot straighter than before. she also doesn’t take her eyes off how concentrated he seems to be. concentrated but – calm. It’s strange. ‘seolhyun-ssi?’ “huh?” she takes her eyes off Jamie, who’s busy throwing signals from behind his ear. questions probably but hanna can’t quite make them out because her tutor – minsoo is looking dead at her. ‘are you ready to begin?’ he doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that she has no paper as he’s already slid his materials over to her. he’s just waiting. “hanna.” ‘pardon?’ “hanna, I go by hanna.” ‘alright then hanna, lets begin.’ “yeah sure.”

‘that just about does it. review these concepts tonight and your oral exam should go fine. review some right after I leave though.’ “you’re leaving?” hanna’s almost embarrassed at the words, because they come out so easily and she’s still looking at the words he’s underlining when she says it. ‘your session’s up, and - I do have class.’ she’s even more embarrassed to say she’s having a good time because god her father won’t let her live it down. “okay, thank you. next week we’re meeting here right?” ‘ideally it would depend on if you pass tomorrow but yes here is fine.’

she understood concepts that she’d normally drown her teacher out. minsoo was patient and well he wasn’t speaking on overwhelming amount of english so she could follow. It’s probably why she’d been able to follow along, and probably why she didn’t notice the time pass, she does notice minsoo getting up – probably because it’s so abrupt and she’s sorting through her thoughts, but it makes her shift in her seat. even more so when jamie bounds over and fixes her with a stare – one she can’t quite read. hanna shifts even more, a strange shudder taking over as she immediately grabs for her drink.

‘okay so?’ “well – I didn’t throw my drink on him.” ‘I noticed.’

“okay he wasn’t too bad, I still want my drink.” ‘did you mean he wasn’t bad looking?’ “absolutely not, lead me to overpriced coffee!”

and if hanna sticks closer to Jamie during the walk there, neither of them complain.

of course she has to tell her father to stop looking for another tutor. It’s at the end of the next day, after studying thoroughly and doing not so bad on her oral exam the morning after their tutor session. he’s in the study, normally where he doesn’t like being bothered, but there’s her mom, lounging on the chair while he flits back and forth between bank books and the laptop. how they spend so much time together is beyond her. she pops in and eyes are on her.

“hey, just wanted to say I’ll be keeping this tutor.” ‘he’s cute isn’t he?’ is the first thing her mother says and hanna quite literally falls from where she’d been planning to stick her head in and right out. “shameless.” ‘didn’t hear a no.’

‘that’s great dear, it was getting hard to not do a full screening on the next one and scare them away.’ “yeah yeah thanks.” hanna’s composing herself, rubbing at her shoulders to relieve her goosebumps. her mother catches this immediately and looks up from her book, eyes calculating. ‘are you cold hun?’ her father looks up, more concern in his eyes than anything. the drama queen. “yeah, do you guys have the air on?” they share a look – the strange telepathy that they always do. ‘no – but darling you’re in a long-sleeved shirt.’ “I could be getting sick. I’ll take something.”

as it turns out, she’s not getting sick. that was evident after the hoard of medication she’d taken and the lack of actual flu or cold symptoms. couldn’t be allergies as hanna has none, and there’s no bug going around school.

she just feels.

antsy.

she keeps shivering whether she’s in her clothes or not, itching and shaking even under cold water.

the morning after the conversation with her parents she’d bundled up fiercely the next day, making sure she would sweat out whatever cold would hit her. when it seemed like the fabric of her clothes was just making things worse, she opted for shorter sleeves and lighter, softer clothing. something to take away the itch that’s making her body shake.

‘maybe you’re allergic to something.’ Is jamie’s rationing. “my allergies would’ve been shown up.” is hanna’s answer.

she considers her diet, though she’s relatively a healthy person, she makes a log of what she could’ve eaten to cause it. but again, she has no food allergies either, she’s relatively healthy and it doesn’t feel like a food issue. even if her stomach does start to twist and turn now and then, it’s not the sick feeling from eating something bad – and hanna would know she’s had food poisoning.

she gets chills, has goosebumps she can’t really see. Her stomach twists no matter how much ginger tea she drinks and she’s at the point of wanting to jump out her own skin. It’s led to her being quite irritable too. rolling her eyes when her teacher asks her a question she knows hanna doesn’t know the answer to, snapping at someone near her parking space on her way to class.

‘could be your period babe.’ “my period was two weeks ago.”

and it’s not that either. It’s not the emotion that double over before her period, it’s not the stabs in her stomach that start coming early, or the cravings she’ll likely have. It’s none of that and this is the first time hanna’s wished that it was, at least then she would know what to do. because right now she wants to shed her own skin, feels like she’s growing in and out of it at the same time. feels like she’s itching something but never quite scratching it, like she needs something soothing but the burn isn’t painful it’s just – uncomfortable.

“do I need to see a doctor?” it’s a week into this when she mentions it to her parents. a week of her arriving irritable to school, practically clinging to jamie and saying nothing but groaning each time she feels a pull she doesn’t understand. like her skin was rubber and something was trying to call her back, pulling her thin but not ripping just – stretching. hanna was in agony and her mother now sat on the edge of the couch, running her hand through her hair while her father observed her. she’d told them her symptoms but she’s all but realized how crazy she must sound. ‘describe it again seol.’ hanna groans into the pillow but her mother’s touch is – distracting, helps her focus. “feels like I’m being tugged in several directions, everything is subtle but at the same time it’s overwhelming. It’s like if someone pressed needles against you but just the tip so you didn’t feel the pain. It’s terrible.” If anything, she would get bonus points in creative writing for her descriptions. If her teacher could see her now. Hanna wishes no one could see her, wishes she could all but melt into the couch. ‘do you know when it started?’ “I don’t know last week sometime?”

all these questions and all hanna wants to do is bury further away from it all. 

‘we’ll get you to a doctor this afternoon, are you still going to class?’ she wants to say no, wants to stay right where she is until later this afternoon, instead she drags herself up and to her room. If she were more attentive, she might’ve noticed the look her parents share as she heads to get ready.

jamie is ready with a chamomile tea, a hint of ginger and a hug for Hanna when she walks out of her class. she makes no comment on how hanna left early and just smothers her in a hug, a hug that hanna can’t be bothered to wiggle out of. she focuses on the fact that it’s jamie and not that her body feels like it wants to be somewhere else but can’t figure itself out. instead they head to the library, jamie sending worried glances each time hanna shakes her shoulders or holds her head.

“please not headaches.” she doesn’t have time to think because as the headache grows there’s a figure before them both. it’s of course her tutor, though it was almost hard to tell because of the mask he’s sporting. ‘sorry, I’m a bit late.’ truthfully hanna hadn’t noticed. she’s more concerned at how he sounds as bad as she feels. ‘ready to start?’ “are you feeling okay?” is the first thing hanna asks, jamie having left her side so they can start. ‘nothing too bad, wore a mask in case it’s contagious but I don’t think so.’ “i’d take anything over whatever is hitting me right now.” she swears she gets a smile at the comment, but they’re launching into problems right away.

for the past week, the discomfort that hanna’s felt has been relentless. it started in small bursts but began to last the entire day, hence why she’d begged her parents to see a doctor today. as minsoo starts to finish reading her homework for the week, she’s suddenly aware that she’s feeling better. much better. his mask is off too. she’s grateful because truthfully, hanna didn’t think she could get through this session with that same pain that’s been plaguing her. she’s also relieved that he seems to be feeling better. she has half a mind to text her parents that all are good but he’s getting up, things packed already and her lips move with an urgency new to her.

“hey, can I get your number, in case I feel under the weather again and actually can’t show up?” minsoo’s giving it though, without question or complaint and hanna’s waving the phone as she waves him off. ‘you look like you’re feeling better.’ “thank god, or he might’ve asked for different pupil.” ‘mmmmm, I doubt that.’

hanna shrugs though, making sure to send a quick message to him.

to: 💥 minsoo [ hanna! ✌️ ] from: 💥 minsoo [ 👌 ]

when she arrives home, her mother is questioning her instantly.

“i just feel better? not sure, but my tutor session went well!” just to bring the mood up because she can see her parents are visibly concerned. ‘but hanna, you were in pretty bad shape.’ “maybe I just needed to flush out a bad bug, I feel fine!”

hanna’s in the same predicament, though it feels worse than before. the symptoms double over within half the time from before and she’s cuddled under her covers trying every possible position to ease the discomfort.

‘hanna I’m really worried.’ jamie’s voice rings on the other end of the line. “don’t worry, I really think it needs to run it’s course.” whatever it is.

whe doesn’t miss tutoring this week, though she can tell from minsoo’s hair, a little shaggy on the edges, that he’s dealing with his own things too. things that seem to disappear during their session, a reason why she makes it a goal to not miss them, no matter how bad she feels. It’s not exactly pain anyway, it’s just discomfort.

body-shaking discomfort.

she continues her routine. suffering for a week but managing to make her tutoring sessions just because she can. and they always make her feel better in that moment, a reason why she thinks it might just be stress.

two more weeks pass and hanna’s sure it’s not just a bad bug. because the intervals are shorter where she feels discomfort. It goes from a few days to one day to a few hours. it gets bad that she’s in her bed staring at her phone.

to: 💥 minsoo [ hey, it’s hanna! I might not make our session tomorrow, I’m really not feeling well. 😷😷😷😷 ] from:💥 minsoo [ I hope I didn’t give you what I caught, it’s not exactly fun ] to: 💥 minsoo [ don’t think what I have is contagious ] from:💥 minsoo [ how so? ]

and hanna hadn’t planned on discussing this, talking past her update but, she indulges.

to: 💥 minsoo [ feels like my insides being stretched ] from: 💥 minsoo [ ouch, in every direction and nowhere at all ] to: 💥 minsoo [ YES ] from: 💥 minsoo [ sorry I might’ve given it to you ] to: 💥 minsoo [ hm, I likely gave it to you ] from: 💥 minsoo [ either way, I hope you feel better ] to: 💥 minsoo [ if you find any remedies tell me!!!!! ] from: 💥  [ sure thing. ]

and for good measure.

to: 💥 minsoo [ goodnight! ]

she feels worse after missing their session. much worse. to the point where she’s pacing around her room, stepping in place, doing anything to try and ease her body and it’s confusion. it’s restless and it’s making hanna’s head spin. when her parents ask she just says she doesn’t know. when she asks the doctors they just say they don’t know.

because yeah that gives her hope.

“seriously I have no idea what it is.” hanna’s panting now, having resorted to running to let off some steam. she’s on the phone with minsoo, who despite his own afflictions has been a good comfort for her during it all. ‘me neither, needless to say, I keep worrying my sister.’ “my parents are surprisingly calm, though I know they’re worried.” they haven’t kept off her case, in a good way though. They check up on her and give her food without her needing to ask, she’s just been unable to feel reprieve from anything really. minsoo had laughed when she told him how her father hovered by the door ready to get her anything. “I’ll have fun trying to explain this sick note to my professors.” not that she minds, maybe she needed the break. running like this, and watching minsoo’s face change as he talks, as she cools down and listens, isn’t too bad.

‘hanna.’ “hm?” ‘you’ve been walking a while where are you?’ “uhm, don’t know. Why?” ‘it looks familiar…’ for a second it looks like he’s leaning into the screen and then there’s a flurry of movement, then laughter. ‘you’re nearing my neighborhood, how’d you manage that?’ “who knows. didn’t realize I was walking that far.” ‘I’ll come down.’ before she can say that he doesn’t have to, or that he’s not feeling well, she sees his figure approaching from the end of the street. funny enough, he looks like he ran. “you didn’t run here did you….” ‘I needed the exercise. I feel better already.’ and though he’s joking, catching his breath hanna’s been feeling immensely better since a little after her run. enough that she can smile fully at him, even laugh at his words.

he walks with her for the rest of her cool down. a cool down that she feels like she doesn’t even need because everything’s settled right now. It could be, and hanna considers it, the calm of the night, maybe she needed a good run. maybe she needed a change in environment, in pace. whatever it is, it’s working. has her joking with minsoo and feeling like herself, feeling that she’s missed their sessions all too much.

‘is that true?’ she doesn’t realize she’s spoken the words until she meets minsoo’s eyes on her. and she’s suddenly very aware of how close they’re walking together. hanna doesn’t move though, instead she just laughs and averts her eyes. “I miss them, they were the highlight of my week.” which isn’t a lie, even if she tries to put sarcasm in her tone. really, english tutoring as the highlight of her week? it was true whether she denied it or not. she suddenly didn’t mind if he knew or not. ‘it’s definitely been the best part of my few weeks.’

they walk a bit more, night closes in a bit more and they lose track of time. to where her father’s messaging her and hanna almost dreads having to go back, having to end the peace. but she’s feeling better so there’s a plus.

“I have to head home before my father sends a search party.” and – as if he knows. as if her eyes reveal everything without knowing, minsoo’s speaking up as she turns. ‘I’ll walk you.’ she doesn’t object. not when he sticks just as close, not when they pass the gates to her compound and he’s at the door, past the door and they’re laughing in the study.

‘you’re feeling better.’ Is what her mother says first. they’re both at the door, her father’s arm wrapped snug around his mother’s waist, his eyes on minsoo. “hey, sorry i’m late. i ran into minsoo? guess we both just needed a run.” ‘both? minsoo I wasn’t aware you weren’t feeling well either.’ ‘I’m fine ma’am, i was worried I’d given whatever I had to hanna but I’m glad that’s not the case.’ ‘i’m glad too. hanna do try to answer your phone more often, your father gets restless.’ “please, he’d be up the roof if it was you.” to which hanna’s father, the joke of her life, quite literally picks her mother up bridal style as he announces his love. hanna notices minsoo’s confusion and realizes she’s never told him, though she’s never in a position to tell anyone. “my parents are a soulmate match. for them they can’t spend too much time apart of they get restless, it’s wild. you’d think my mother was going through menopause.” ‘hanna!’ though her mother’s words have no bite while she’s literally being hugged tight by her husband, even after he’s set her back on her feet. ‘is it painful?’ are minsoo’s first words. unsurprising because most people have tons of questions when they hear about it. minsoo never seemed the curious type though, but hanna leans back and watches as her parents perk up at the opportunity to talk about their love.

‘at first it was unbearable? because we didn’t know what was going on or how to tell the cause. with ours it’s hard to tell but overtime the pull quite literally leads you to them because you’re in agony.’ ‘the pull?’ minsoo looks thoroughly interested and hanna – for whatever, maybe the aftereffects of this nonexistent flu, finds it cute. ‘hard to describe, the body literally cannot stand the distance for too long. after a while it becomes easier to withstand distance, the discomfort is there but not as strong the more time we spend together afterwards, and the more we deal with it. hanna’s father is just a baby. Hanna takes after him I suppose, she’s been moping about this house you’d think she was having period pains.’ “mom!” minsoo, the traitor, finds it his job to laugh and hanna quite literally thinks about knocking him out the couch. Until he smiles her way saying stupid things like: ‘glad you’re feeling better now.’

hanna’s floored because she’s got an urge in that moment. and it makes her want to shove everyone away, and yet, pull one person close.

abort mission.

she’s shooing everyone out, minsoo particularly.

‘he can’t go home by himself this late.’ “HUH?” the one time her father wants to be lenient about a boy.

the one time.

‘it’s fine I can call a taxi.’ ‘nonsense, we have a guest room down here.’

after much preparation hanna’s closing the door after bidding him a good night and a small apology. she sees her parents from atop the stairs and marches past them and their smug grins to her room.

‘he’s what?’ “downstairs in the guest room.” ‘wow, third base already.’ “like you haven’t slept over at sam’s.” ‘touche.’

just then hanna’s phone vibrates and she’s looking at the screen and nearly dropping her phone.

from: 💥 minsoo

“he’s texting me, jamie. jamie minsoo’s texting me why’s he texting me he’s downstairs what’s going on?” ‘well I suppose we won’t know the answer to that unless you read it and text back now would we?’

touche.

from: 💥 minsoo [ thanks for letting me spend the night. forgot to say so earlier. ]

“why’s he thanking me, he should thank my parents.” ‘idiot – does he have your parents on speed dial, no he has your cute ass.’

to: 💥 minsoo [ it’s no problem! I hadn’t realized how late it was, hope you don’t mind. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ hope you’re not secretly a thief either. sorry about my lovey-dovey high school parents ]

From: 💥 minsoo [ don’t mind at all. It was nice of them. and they’re nice too, obviously very in love. i’ve seen soulmate pairs before but they’re – refreshing. ]

‘oho, soulmate talk.’ “I’m gonna hang up.” ‘fine, hang up and talk to your loverboy.’

hanna chokes.

to: 💥 minsoo [ are they? I thought they’d be a bit much. you never seemed like you’d be interested in that. from: 💥 minsoo [ soulmate lore and stuff? you never asked. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ i’m sorry among all the agony and english suffering I forgot to ask about soulmate lore with you. ] from: 💥 minsoo [ what do you think of it then? ]

In that moment, hanna has to take a break because a headache’s coming. She almost groans at the feeling and jamie picks up immediately.

‘I’m going to assume he didn’t say anything bad, you okay?’ “yeah I might turn in, not feeling good again.” ‘okay, call me if you need anything alright?’ “okay bye bye.” sealed with extra loud lip smacks and kiss noises because of course.

from: 💥 minsoo [ you okay? ] to: 💥 minsoo [ yeah, headache. maybe I’ve been up too long. ] from: 💥 minsoo [ not good, you should take a nap ] to: 💥 minsoo [ but! soulmate! lore! ] from: 💥 minsoo [ someone’s excited. ] to: 💥 minsoo [ I can talk all night about it, since I have first hand encounters ] from: 💥 minsoo [ I’ll be up all night, can’t seem to sleep ] to: 💥 minsoo [ I’ll be down in five ]

and for some reason he doesn’t protest. so hanna wraps herself in her blanket and slinks her way downstairs to the guest room, praying to the gods that her parents don’t wake up. or even if they do, they don’t ask.

they talk all night. hanna’s headache that was calling her to bed nowhere to be found. minsoo’s restlessness lulled into alertness and attention he gives her the entire night, both splayed over the living room couch. he tells her about his doubts and beliefs in the soulmate theory, his experiences both good and bad. he tells about couples he’s seen fail and couples he’s seen prosper, talks about how hopeful hanna’s parents can make people. hanna talks about her fears with it, her reservations and also her fascination when she looks at her parents. they talk and they talk until they can’t fight sleep and it’s the easiest sleep they’ve had in weeks, though neither admit. they just fall into one another.

that’s how hanna wakes up. with her head between her arms, placed firmly on the edge of the couch and minsoo’s chest directly in front of her. she doesn’t move though, relishing in the best sleep she’s had in weeks. in fact, it’s the sound coming from the kitchen that wakes her. it’s a glimpse of her father peeking over the couch and her making eye contact that has her shrieking and bounding for her room.

when she’s showered and changed and sent jamie a promise text to tell her everything, she joins her family. minsoo is up and looking so well-rested that he hasn’t quite fixed his hair yet. it’s cute ad insufferable, hanna wants to crawl back upstairs. but she quite literally feels her headache disappear when he waves a good morning and she waves back, turning to glare at her parents before they can say anything. of course, her mother isn’t phased.

‘you both slept well.’ “good morning and good bye mother.” ‘I made breakfast.’ “to go, I have class and minsoo has to get home.” ‘I’ll take---’ “I’ll drive him thank you father.”

hanna’s grabbing the keys, the kimbap and literally rushing minsoo out the door before her parents can trap them any further.

easily, thankfully, they fall into conversation as if they hadn’t fallen asleep earlier. hanna offers to drive minsoo to campus and the top-down on her car makes his hair more of a statement when they arrive. so much so that she’s laughing and he’s puzzled.

‘you’ve been laughing for fifteen minutes, earlier I was worried we’d crash.’ “yikes, your faith in my driving skills. here hold on.” without prompt, without warning really, hanna’s leaning over to fix the strands of hair that have gone wild. not like she couldn’t just tell him because now he’s this close and hanna thinks she can’t breathe but this is the easiest it’s been to breathe in weeks. and that’s scary. terrifying.

‘hanna!’ thank god for jamie. because hanna, jumps back and is hopping out the car to greet her friend. thank god for jamie but oh god jamie, jamie doesn’t spare one single glance moving from hanna to minsoo and her eyebrows doing that thing that makes hanna want to run. ‘thanks for the ride.’ Is all minsoo says, a smile on his face after he bows to jamie and waves himself off. hanna’s got about two seconds of leeway and she’s considering running, instead she calls after minsoo, practically bounds after him. “can I walk with you, I barely know your classes.” she half expects him to deny her, instead he’s nodding. and hanna for now will say it’s just to avoid getting grilled.

except that it becomes a routine. and hanna hadn’t planned that. hadn’t planned on getting used to the feeling of walking with minsoo to classes and him eventually walking her to hers. after one morning where he doesn’t and she does so bad on her english exam he’s waiting outside with vanilla bean and she’s forgetting all about it.

seriously what kind of warlock is he, hanna’s been trying to figure it out. she’s so caught off-guard that jamie’s managed to pull her out her daze with a fry to her face.

‘maybe you just like him.’ “pardon.” ‘you literally suffer when he’s not around, you like him.’ hanna takes a careful sip of her drink, letting jamie mull over her words. when she doesn’t, hanna swallow. “nah.”

jamie groans.

she does enjoy the company he brings though. the feeling of him walking beside her to class, to tutoring, even home that’s become more routine. it’s always the leaving part that hanna can’t quite get over, always makes her rub her hands together as if she’s collecting static, settling herself. she thinks nothing of it though, glad to be free of whatever plagued her in the earlier months.

except that the bug comes back.

at the worst of times in her opinion. it’s midterm season and while she’s enjoyed the help he’s given her, thoroughly enjoyed his presence around her, how they’ve started grabbing coffee together and even eating out when tutoring lasts too late, they need to study. hanna doesn’t want to disrupt minsoo’s study schedule and respects the request to take their tutoring out of midterm week. that also means, he’s busy studying that he’s not around to walk her to classes, and it’s not like hanna’s been dependent on it, that’ silly. but she feels it, feels it more apparent than she thought she would from the week before midterms start, into the beginning of the exam week.

‘maybe it’s because you guys just spend so much time together.’ Is jamie’s answer. Though hanna can tell jamie’s beginning to worry, about a lot really. hanna doesn’t get attachments like this, and the fact that it’s becoming so apparent and so troublesome that it’s affecting her environment. jamie’s worried but doesn’t want her worry to affect hanna. hanna appreciate it, so she wants to get to the bottom of this.

‘you could just miss him.’ is the solution her mother offers, still perched in the couch in the study, a book on soulmates in her hand. it’s plausible, even if it’s only been a few days since she’d seen him, it’s very plausible. hanna takes a look at the book in her mother’s hand and ignores how her stomach churns at the title. ignores what that might mean for her.

because to hanna that was dependence bordering on insanity. for her, for minsoo, whom she barely knew. sure she knew the little things, like his favorite color nowadays, how simple he liked his wardrobe, how tall she’d have to stand on the top of her toes to reach his height. how he likes his coffee and which classes he dreads and why, his little ticks when he doesn’t understand things and just how endearing it is that he can not understand things. the look on his face or the color on his face when she points out that she thinks it is endearing. she knows these little things, has saved them for the moments when she’s stuck in a long day and she knows they can still walk home together.

she knows that but it’s not enough to need. it shouldn’t be.

but hanna counts all that she knows, all she’s beginning to adore and she’s getting frightened.

scared as she is, she doesn’t get to hold it in for long. it’s the middle of midterm week and she’s sure she’s going to fail her english midterm tomorrow because she can’t fucking focus. for the life of her, her body itches and the covers aren’t helping but she’s wrapped in them anyway. she doesn’t want to call anyone, ask anyone, she just wants the feeling gone.

as if on cue her phone vibrates.

from: 💥minsoo [ you doing okay? ] to: 💥minsoo [ guess ] from: 💥minsoo [ exam stress? ] to: 💥minsoo [ nope, worse ] from: 💥minsoo [ penny for your thoughts ] to: 💥minsoo [ I’ll give you a million if you come by ] from: 💥minsoo [ on my way ]

and hanna doesn’t wait. she’s downstairs and meeting him outside the door.

they walk and they walk and they walk until they come across a playground. hanna on the swings and minsoo sitting quite literally in front of where she stops.

‘any reason you chose swings?’ “any reason you’re sitting there?”

touche.

she steps back, as far back as she can before the swing is pressed into her back and minsoo is a few feet in front of her. and she stays there, stays there and watches him. he sits absently, fingers idle in the woodchips, night just moving around him. around his shoulders, around his hands, his silhouette.

hanna looks for strings first.

she feels the first tug but sees none. it’s not like the swing is pressing into her back, it’s the opposite. something pulling. with the tug comes the itch, the shudder. and it’s not the cold. she sees no strings though, nothing buzzing around minsoo. but she sees him shudder, sees him look up instantly in her direction.

when their eyes meet hanna allows herself to sit and walk forward until her feet kick lightly against his own.

she moves back again, as far back as the swing will let her. and waits. without a word, waiting for something in the moonlight around him to shift. like how tides just follow the pull of the moon, she waits for it. then her skin starts to crawl and his eyes haven’t left hers, so she sits and moves forward again. this time his hand is on the swing when her feet kick at his. stopping, holding.

‘you’re a glutton for punishment.’ “I was testing my theory.” ‘which is?’

hanna bites at her lip. even the sting she feels couldn’t quite compare to the feeling, the calm that settles over her each time she swings back over to him.

“you know how – you can only go so far on the swing, until you’re yanked back.” ‘i’m aware.’ “that’s what it’s like with you. like pulling tight of a band until it’s released back.” ‘and it’s like it was never pulled in the first place.’ “right-!! you know?” ‘well since it’s a soulmate thing, the other person feels the same you know.’

hanna’s suddenly very shy and very grateful for how dark it is.

“so do you – how do you feel?” ‘how do you feel?’ “scared as hell. excited. better than I felt earlier.” ‘I’m about the same. not as scared, curious. willing.’

the last one has hanna’s head snapping up, minsoo who’d been looking elsewhere, maybe for a pull of the tides too, fixes his eyes back on her.

“willing to – what?” ‘well, I’m here.’ “you’re helpful.”

but hanna’s smiling as she says it. smiling and playing with the chips below her feet.

‘hey, fate picked me.’ “well - i’d pick you.”

oh boy is she glad it’s dark as hell outside.

“how long did you know, I can’t believe you two knew.” ‘i can’t believe you took so long to figure it out.’

hanna is, staring quite scandalized at her parents, while minsoo sits not bothered in the slightest, at the kitchen counter. they’d talked, but upon deciding that hanna does need to sleep to attempt to pass her exam, that she head home. minsoo of course had walked her, her parents had of course been up when they arrived.

‘admittedly your mother was in denial so you take after her.’ if it weren’t for the skillet she was focusing on, hanna was sure her father would have a spoon shaped mark on his face. “i wasn’t in denial.” minsoo makes something that sounds like a snort and hanna is betrayed. ‘jamie even asked me outside your class if i’d give you time to figure it out.’ “wow is this why sam’s friends were ready to kill each other, how long have you known.” ‘since the first night your parents let me stay here.’ “i am surrounded by traitors.” ‘i’m wondering if he should still tutor you.’

if she weren’t starving, hanna would’ve gone right to bed. but minsoo took the blanket and is offering a more comfortable spot curled up beside him. and pancakes. comfort and pancakes and minsoo seem like the better option. and when hanna’s close to falling asleep, head on his shoulder and stomach full, she thinks it might be the forever option.

fast forward to present day.

‘are you okay hanna?’ jamie asks, with snickers that she can’t keep in from across the table. “no.” and as she says it, hanna’s feels another itch at her skin, causing her head to fall promptly back on the desk. 

“a vacation with his sister, why.” ‘yes, the nerve of your boyfriend, spending time with his family.’ “he said he’d be back today.” ‘yes, he said sometime this afternoon, it’s one.’

hanna is close to drowning herself in this damn vanilla bean when she hears a chime, and already feels the ache start to subside. already feels a smile curling, though she’s a bit peeved.

“i’m the glutton for punishment.” ‘i missed you too.’ and she’s pouting, even when he hands her a souvenir, up until the kiss pressed to the top of her head. up until all of the ache disappears and she’s engulfed in arms for the remainder of their time at the cafe. engulfed in the very feeling that makes her feel like, the wait doesn’t hold a candle to the reward. and it never will.

[tuwam]

2bin.

rapper beenzino discharges from military service and is met with a tearful reunion with longtime girlfriend yubin, ex-member of jyp’s statement group the wonder girls. ( @rosaeau )

full story below!

“you said you wouldn’t cry.” ‘i’m not. i didn’t. shouldn’t you be spoiling me now?’ “shouldn’t you be spoiling me?” ‘i’m the distressed girlfriend here.’

the same girlfriend whose arms having left his waist, and butt hasn’t left his lap. but he’s not complaining, in fact he’s cheesing a little too much. he has been since he walked out those doors and met his family, friends and yubin who definitely had a few tears glimmering through. but that’s not the point. the point is that he’s back and she’s here and sungbin wouldn’t have it any other way. couldn’t dream of it.

“you missed me.” ‘i missed access to your clothes.’ “you can wear them without me.” ‘not the point.’

he makes no point in asking her exactly what the point is. he knows, he gets it. gets that sometimes she’ll complain about how his hoodie smells like sweat after a show but she’ll wear it the entire time he’s off on tour. knows how yubin likes the be upfront on everything but the things that he has no trouble saying. that’s why they work so well together. that’s why he can’t quite get his hands off her either now that he’s home. she fits, slips right into arms as she’s done all those nights all they had was the television to keep them awake. movie nights that turned into sleepover with neither complaining when they woke up curled around one another.

neither complaining when time and duties seemed to have other plans for their relationship.

they adapted.

which is why they’re here now. with yubin dabbing at her face and sungbin pressing kisses anywhere she’ll let him. with his colleague driving and his mother promising a feast when they get back. with the voices of the people dearest to him in his ears from the front and the back of the van and the feeling of the person most dear in his arms again.

the feeling of thinking - knowing that he wants it this way not just for a while. not to get the initial solitude off of him. but forever. 

‘sungbin-ah, let’s hope you can still hold your own.’ ‘we’ve got to steal him before yubin hides him for a year.’ one kiss for the glare she gives them. “yeah yeah you’re on.” another for the one she gives him. a smile for the attempt she makes to wiggle from his hold but ultimately staying still. ‘terrible.’

a couple closed kisses to the side of her head, to the hand that’s still holding his jacket tight, like he might go away again. he kisses that a few times, and kisses one part in particular.

“love you too.”

yeah, forever sounds good.

[tuwam]

“Wanna go out sometime?” ( hyunshik & taeyang B) )

@rosaeau for taeyang! B| )

taeyang’s used to this. he’s used to being a little winded around hyunshik, breathless and weightless at the same time. at some point he’d hoped the feeling would pass, thought that it would and the crush would give him space to breathe. the more time he spent with the older, the more he found that wasn’t the case.

and before he didn’t mind. didn’t mind how he tripped over himself as he tried to explain things. like always waiting for the other at the end of his shift, or rushing over when he has a break just to stay. he didn’t mind that he looked like desperation because he was content, could feel his heart soften with every conversation they had and any second spent together. taeyang was more than satisfied with this. more than okay with the crush becoming a gentle ache, a assuring pressure that he’s still capable of things like this.

and he thinks, he’s sure - he’s learned to articulate himself better. as they became friends it became easier, necessary. because people learn sooner or later crush aside taeyang is clumsy, he’s earnest, and in constant appreciation of everything around him. that’s him. it becomes less of him being clumsy because hyunshik is looking his way and more so because he’s just always tripping over his feet. less of him being earnest to see the male and just earnest to see a friend, giddy to get the last cup of hot chocolate before the shop closes.

it becomes him and he becomes comfortable.

naturally, slowly, it dims down, the crush. taeyang’s thinks he’d muted it. so the fact that the ease they’ve switched to can be so easily broken with one phrase, should be an indicator that it’s less of a dim and more of a simmer.

of course.

and right now that simmer is becoming a burning reminder. and now taeyang’s trying to compensate for the short-circuiting that hyunshik’s caused. because in the beginning there’d been eager, almost naive hope that in the end he was glad for the friendship. in the end he stopped wrecking his mind about things like what could be. he’s had more than his fair share of friends give their two cents about how he should be, how he should act, when it comes to the elder.

so when the words leave hyunshik’s lips, taeyang’s naturally a little confused, feels his chest lurch forward with all that’s remained buried low. growing, waiting. far too ecstatic. because the words could mean anything. and they’re a little abrupt, because he’d been waiting for hyunshik to finish up, sipping on a chai tea and kicking around in the stool to stretch his legs. he’d been fiddling with his phone, talking about a new exhibit that opened up in between each sip. the same sips that cease when he hears the question and almost chokes, the same legs that bang into the counter when he looks up and sees hyunshik across from him.

not that close but far too close for what’s going on right now.

“do I - want to go to the exhibit you mean? with you? i didn’t think this kind of art was your thing - it’s all sculptures and abstract modern three-dimensional things - i mean of course i’d want to go with you hyung! ....or maybe you didn’t mean with me?.......excuse me but - are you -----------”

a pause.

“......are you asking me on a date?”

for the first time, taeyang acts on everything he’s let burn inside him.

[maginoire-blog]

"I'll cook you dinner, if you cook me breakfast." ( Insoo & Ara - ok i am done 😔 )

cheesy pick up lines.

Normally, Ara was prepared to combat his words with an even wittier phrase or tactic. However, this one catches her off guard was one reason and one reason only: the words held more truth than she had expected. She’d already made a habit of making him breakfast, making mental notes of what he liked and how well he liked it cooked. So for Insoo to verbalize what had already become a reality had her more flustered than she had expected. Ara accepted life as it was, but when it was laid out in front of her in such a way, it often left her tongue-tied. However, in order to keep up her usual banter, she tilted her head to let golden tresses fall across her shoulder. “Oh -- what? I’ve already been doing that for another guy. Looks a lot like you, talks a lot like you too. Now that I think about it, you have a twin or somethin’?”

[maginoire-blog]

"I know this is going to sound cheesy, but I think you're the gratest." ( Insoo & Ara )

cheesy pick up lines.

Ara swiftly grabs a napkin to dab at the corners of her lips when he almost makes her choke on the mouthful of pizza she’s working on. Once she was sure she wasn’t going to die, she turns her attention to him with a response at the ready. “Wait -- but that does mean you think we brie-long together?!” She’s not as charismatic as he was when it came to pick-up lines, so she’s already doubled over in the local restaurant, laughing at her own joke. 

[maginoire-blog]

"Thank god I'm wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle." ( Insoo & Ara )

cheesy pick up lines.

She looked over at the man clad in winter gear with a laugh. Ara was always ready to play along with whatever smooth line he sent her way, so what better way to do so than stroking her own ego in the process? “Oh come on, maybe you’re just weak!” She pulled off her own gloves, the winter air kissing her skin, before placing her hands on her cheeks. With eyes wide, she immediately made a face of pain, coupled with an over-exaggerated “Ow!” Shaking her hands as if to cool them off, she nodded seriously in his direction. “Looks like you’re right,” Her lips finally twitched up into a grin, dropping her little act. “Thank god you’re wearing gloves.”