#rolipops angst party

[cimmanonrowl]

In the right time, maybe.

Prologue | Chapter Navigation

Pairing: dbf!aaron hotchner x bfd!reader

Theme: angst

Contents: pure angst, age gap, older guy x young woman relationship, forbidden love.

A harsh slap landed on your cheek.

For all you know, you’d seen that one coming— yet the impact of your mother’s palm forced your head to the side. It made your eyes well, your ears ringing with the pain. Your knees were already bruised from the long contact with the cold marble floor. Never in your life have you thought of kneeling to someone but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Not when you had finally gathered the courage to face your parents, not when you’re one step closer to your freedom.

“Break up with that scum,” your mother repeated through gritted teeth, her voice sharp, cutting through the air like a knife. “Cut this nonsense right now, and for once listen to me!”

“I am not breaking up with Aaron,” your voice trembled as you let out a shaky breath. You refused to let the tears fall. No, you will not cry in front of them. “I love him, Mom.”

Your mother’s expression twisted with disgust, her hand still trembling from the force of the slap. “Don’t make me laugh, silly girl. You don’t know what love is,” she spat. “You’re just a child! You can’t see it, but that man was just using you!”

Your heart pounded against your chest, the words cutting deep, but you knew she was wrong. Aaron wasn’t like that. No, he isn’t like that— he wasn’t using you, he loved you. You felt it in the softness of his touch, in every whispered word he spoke. You knew she was lying because you perfectly remember how his gaze cradled you, as if you were the most precious thing in his life.

“You’re wrong, Mom,” you said firmly, shaking your head and blinking away the tears in your eyes.

Your mother barked an insulting laugh. “I’m wrong? And what do you know about love, huh? What do you know about love that you know I’m wrong?”

“And I suppose you do?”

The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. 

Then there was a pause, and someone’s strangled sob reverberating in the spacious living room you soon recognized as your own. There was no mistaking the pain in your chest. This is too much to bear. It’s too painful to handle. The tears you had been fighting finally spilled over. While your mother’s eyes widened in shock, a dangerous flicker of rage sparking in them.

“And what the hell does that mean?”

“You don’t know what love is—” you swallowed the bile in your throat, tears streaming down your cheeks, heaving to take a deep breath. “You and Dad… we’re not like you. You don’t laugh with each other, you don’t talk... you go to bed angry! You shout at each other! But not Aaron, Mommy… Aaron never let me feel sad. He always tells me he loves me… even when I hurt him…”

With trembling voice, you reasoned out. With the pain in your chest, you took in the disgust and anger in your parents’ faces. It took you all the courage to not back down. Not this time. You reminded yourself of the years you spent too long bending to their will, suffocating under the weight of their expectations. But you weren’t going to let them take this away from you—not Aaron, not the love that had given you the strength to finally stand up for yourself.

“He’s too old for you,” for the first time that evening, your father finally spoke. The coldness seeping in his voice was punctuated with authority that always made you feel small and powerless. “You will end this… this foolishness with Aaron, and you will do it tonight.”

You could feel your resolve wavering under his intense gaze, but you forced yourself to stay strong. “I can’t do that,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. But even as the words left your lips, you felt the weight of them settle in the room like a stone. “I won’t do that., Daddy. I’m sorry.”

“Do you even hear yourself?” your mother hissed, her voice rising with each word. “Do you hear how ridiculous you sound? You’re throwing away everything—for what? For a man who’s old enough to be your father?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you argued still. “Not to me. I’m legal age. I can make decisions for myself. And I know you don’t understand, but I do. Aaron loves me. He’s not using me, he’s not—”

Your mother cut you off with a sharp gesture, her hand slicing through the air. You almost flinched with the thought that she was going to slap you again. 

“Stop it! Stop saying that nonsense! Do you think he’s going to stay with you? You think he’s going to give up his bachelor life for a girl like you?” she let out a mocking laugh. “You’re nothing to him, sweetheart, don’t you see that? You’re just a… a distraction. A pretty little thing he can toss aside when he’s bored!”

But no amount of hateful words would shake your belief in Aaron. “You’re wrong, Mom,” you repeated, more firmly this time. “You don’t know him like I do. He loves m–”

“He will leave you when he’s had his fill of your innocence.”

“No, he won’t!”

“And how sure are you?”

“He’s my best friend. He’s supposed to look after you and look at what he’s done.”

You turned to your father, eyes rimmed red from all the tears. “And what did he do exactly, Daddy?”

“He took advantage of you! You– he turned you into this! He knew you were fucking naive!”

That ruptured right through your soul; the insinuation that you didn’t know what you were doing, as if that alone was reason enough to end things. That Aaron was too old for you. And he took advantage of you because in their eyes, you’ve always been the catered, spoiled little kid.

“I’m not! Don’t talk about him like that, Dad!”

“I will talk to him the way I please!” he spat angrily. “I will kill that man, just so you wait!”

“But Daddy, I love him!” you cried, the words bursting out of you with desperation you couldn’t hold back any longer. Tears ran down your cheeks in hot, angry streams. “I love him, Daddy. Please, listen to me…”

“Love?” your mother crossed her arms, the word dripping with disdain. “You think this is love? You’re too young to even understand what love is. This is disgusting. Do you really think he’ll still want you when you’re not this naive little girl anymore? When the thrill is gone?”

Your tears came faster now, uncontrollable, as you looked up at her, your heart breaking not just from the pain of the slap, but from the realization that she could be so cruel, so dismissive of your feelings. They were not even trying to hear you out.

“He’s not like that…” you sobbed, your voice breaking. “He’s not using me. He loves me, too! Why can’t you see that?”

“Because it’s not love!” your mother snapped, her voice rising again, shrill with frustration and something else— fear, maybe, or desperation. “It’s not real, and it’s not going to last. You’re going to ruin your life over this stupidity!”

It almost sounded like she’s trying to convince herself more than you.

Your father stepped forward, his shadow falling over as he towered above you, his expression cold, unyielding. “This ends tonight,” he said, his voice low but firm. “You’re not seeing him anymore. We’ll make sure of it.”

Panic surged through you at his words, the finality of them. You crawled closer, your hands clasping together in a desperate plea. “You can’t do that, Daddy! Don’t do this to me, please.”

You glanced at your mother, but she just looked away, her expression hardening as she steeled herself against your pleas. “We’re doing what’s best for you, even if you hate us for it.”

“I don’t hate you,” your voice cracked as you knelt before them, your tears falling freely now. “I just… I love him, Mommy. Why is that so wrong?”

“Because it is,” your father said, his tone leaving no room for argument. “This is over. You’ll thank us someday when you’ve forgotten all about him, and when you marry someone your age- from a proper and respectable family.”

But you knew, deep in your heart, that you would never forget. The love you felt for Aaron was real, and it consumed you in a way you couldn’t explain. He caused this chaos you willingly embraced. And as you knelt there, trembling with the weight of their words, you felt more trapped and alone than you ever had in your life.

The tears kept flowing, but they didn’t seem to soften your parents’ resolve. 

You looked up at your father, your vision blurred by tears. “And if I don’t?” you whispered, fear gnawing at the edges of your defiance.

“You really have no idea what you’re doing, do you?” your mother interjected. “Do you understand the uproar this will cause? The disgrace you’ll bring to this family? To our name?”

“Why do I have to care about them? This is about me!”

“You stupid girl!”

You knew what she was talking about. The standing of your family in the society. You were part of the elite, the upper crust, where every action, every decision, was scrutinized under a microscope. You were expected to be perfect, to uphold the family’s reputation, to follow the path that had been laid out for you since birth. A path that did not include falling in love with your father’s best friend.

“I can’t, Dad…” you whispered, barely audible. “I won’t.”

“Then I will make sure you never see him again,” your father said, each word heavy with threat. “You won’t have a choice.”

“W-what will you do, Dad?”

“I will pull every string I could land my hands on and send him away,” you knew your father was a man of his word. “I will send him to Iraq, to Pakistan, to fucking Iran if I have to, and get him killed there. You think I can’t do that?”

You bowed your head, your tears falling silently onto the marble floor. You knew that nothing you said would change their minds. They had made their decision, and you were powerless to fight it.

But even as you rose shakily to your feet, the sting of your mother’s slap still lingering, you couldn’t stop thinking of Aaron. His face, his voice, the way he held you in your sleep, the way his eyes crinkle at the corner with his lame jokes, how he works hard to fulfill his promises, and all the mornings you’d feel him kiss your forehead as he thought you were still asleep. You’d never forget the way he made you feel alive and seen in a way no one else ever had.

And those memories lingered after seven years had passed.

The hospital air was sterile and cold, and the heavy smell of antiseptic was making the throbbing in your head more palpable. You stepped out of your father’s hospital room, your heart heavy with the weight of seeing him so frail, so unlike the powerful man he once was. The beeping machines, the rushed footsteps echoing outside in the hallways—it all felt surreal, like you were moving through a bad dream you couldn’t wake up from.

Your attention drifted to your phone when you felt if buzz in your hand, pulling you back to reality. It was a text from your boyfriend. You hesitated for a moment before opening it, hoping it was some kind of reassurance. But as you read his words, your heart sank even more.

I’m sorry, babe. Work is crazy right now. I can’t get away.

You swallowed hard, feeling the familiar sting of disappointment. You’ve been through this with him before, always the same excuses, the same apologies that left you feeling emptier each time. 

With a sharp sigh, you dialed his number, the phone pressed to your ear as you stepped away from the room, needing space, needing air.

“This is important,” you said as soon as he answered, your voice strained. “My father’s in the hospital. He’s… he’s not doing well. I need you here.”

There was a pause on the other end, and you could almost hear him weighing his options, trying to decide how to soften yet another blow. “I know, and I’m sorry,” he finally said, his tone frustratingly calm. “But I’ve got this big project—”

“A project?” you cut him off, incredulous. “My father might be dying, just so you know. And you’re telling me you’re too busy with a project?”

“It’s not just a project, it’s—look, I’ll come as soon as I can, okay? Just… not right now.”

“What the fuck does that mean? Get your ass on the very first flight tomorrow morning and meet me here.”

“I can’t do that, babe. I’m sorry…” he apologized, his voice dripping with softness that only made you even more nauseated. “I’ll come visit once my schedule is clear, okay?”

The frustration heightened in your chest, tightening around your heart. “Are you serious right now?” you repeated, your voice trembling. “We’re talking about my father. This is the man who raised me. And I’m here alone, trying to hold it together, and you can’t even show up? Are you fucking serious?”

“I said I’ll come later!” He snapped, his patience clearly wearing thin. Well, he’s not known for his patience, anyway. “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?”

“Because it is a big deal!” you shouted, the words echoing down the empty corridor. “You’re supposed to be my boyfriend. You’re supposed to care about what I’m going through!”

“Just because you’re frustrated doesn’t mean you can pour it down on me. It’s not fair, babe.”

“What the fuck did you just say?!”

There was a heavy silence on the other end, the kind that tells you you’ve crossed a line. “I’m sorry,” he finally said, his voice cold now. You just know he didn’t even mean his apology. “But I can’t drop everything in a snap. We’ll talk about this later. Bye, I love you.”

Before you could even respond, or register the words he said, the call ended. You stared at the screen, your hand trembling with the urge to throw the phone across the hall. But you didn’t. Instead, you took a deep breath (the way someone taught you in the past), closed your eyes, and tried to steady yourself. Even when you feel like the whole world was crumbling beneath your feet.

When you opened your eyes, though, you saw that someone standing a few feet away, watching you. He appeared like a product of your feeble imagination. But you felt your throat tighten, your heart skipping a beat as you recognized who it really was.

Aaron.

Seven years have passed since that night, since the conversation you had with your parents, and the last time you ever saw him. Seven years of trying to forget, to move on, to build a life that didn’t revolve around him. You tried for your life to go on. And for some time, you did well. You could even say your parents were happy with your decisions… for once.

But now, with him standing there in the stark hospital hallway, all the memories came rushing back, overwhelming you with waves of emotions you were not prepared to face.

He looked different now. The years have etched lines into his face, and there was a hardness in his expression that wasn’t there before. His eyes, once so warm when they looked at you, are colder now, distant. And as he stepped closer, you could feel the tension radiating off him, like he didn’t care about your existence.

“Hey,” even his voice was different, it carried an edge and coldness that you don’t remember hearing before. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Your heart clenched at the tone. “Aaron...” you finally managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper. “Ah, yes, I just landed last night. What... what are you doing here?”

He shrugged, probably as politely as he could, his eyes flicking to your phone, still clenched in your hand. “Heard about your father,” he said, his tone flat. “Thought I’d come to check on him. He’s an old… friend, after all.”

“Of course…” you cleared your throat. “That’s so nice of you.”

“Not like it’s the first time he’s been in the hospital, though, right?”

The comment stung, and you flinched, feeling the bitterness behind his words. “It’s different this time,” you struggled to keep your voice steady. “He’s not doing well, and I—”

“And you what?” Aaron interrupted, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Needed someone to lean on? Thought your boyfriend would be here for that.”

The bitterness in his tone is impossible to miss now, and it cut through you like a knife. You felt a surge of defensiveness rise up, mingled with shame. “He’s just busy,” the words sounded hollow even to your own ears as you defended him. “He’s got work—”

“Work?” Aaron repeated, his voice laced with disbelief. “Your father’s in the hospital, and he can’t even bother to show up?”

The harshness of his words made you wince, but you couldn’t deny the truth in them. So, instead, you looked down, unable to meet his eyes. “He said he’d come later,” you mumbled, feeling the familiar weight of disappointment settle in your chest.

“Right,” Aaron muttered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Later. Sure.”

You ignored that. “And my mom… she’s coming later, too. She was on a cruise… so...”

You wanted to defend your boyfriend, to explain, but the words won’t come out. Because deep down, you know Aaron was right. And standing here, in front of the man you once loved, the man who was always there for you without a single beat of hesitation, it felt like the weight of your choices was crashing down on you all at once.

Maybe your life didn’t go on better than you hoped.

Than you made yourself believe.

“Aaron, I…” you started, but your voice faltered as you looked up at him, seeing the anger in his eyes, the hurt that he was trying so hard to mask. “Aren’t you busy? You still… you still work with the Beareu, I assume?”

He watched you with piercing eyes. “We just finished a case,” he admitted, his voice softer now, though still tinged with bitterness. “But when I heard about your dad… I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“T-thanks. Did you hear that I wa–”

“I’m not here for you.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and you had to force yourself to stay upright, to not let him see how deeply they affected you. “Of course,” you whispered, your throat tight with embarrassment. “But… thank you for coming. For checking on him.”

Aaron nodded and didn’t say anything else.

But there was so much you wanted to say, so many things you wish you could go back and change, and the wall between you was built too high, too thick. While Aaron stood there, his expression guarded, you realized that the man you once knew was no longer the same. 

The years have changed him, hardened him in ways you never imagined.

“I’ll go check on him. Excuse me,” he said, the words carrying a finality that leaves no room for anything more. 

Without waiting for a response, he walked past you and entered your father’s room, his footsteps echoing down the corridor, leaving you standing outside alone. Aaron never left you by yourself. The weight of everything unsaid pressed down on you is like a crushing burden.

You looked over your shoulder and watched him disappear. That was when everything hit you. The man you loved may still be there; the same kind and loving man who was more than willing to go out of his way for the people he cares about… but he’s different now, distant in a way that feels irreversible. 

And as the tears you’ve been holding back finally spilled over, you wondered if maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you that some things really are better left in the past. That you will heal— in the right time, maybe.

Note: The next chapters may contain r18+ scenes and proper tags will be administered accordingly. But even if this is not fully a smut fic, I don't want to see any minor, please.

PS., Do me a favor and listen to Taylor Swift's 'But Daddy I Love Him' for the sake of me causing havoc. This was also inspired by 'The Notebook' if you guys saw the reference. Also, this one is dedicated to @thatlittlered. I'm not sure they remember me (But I do!) And this might not be a-100k fic as you requested but you did inspire me to write with this theme, so thank you!

As always, I appreciate every like, reblog, and replies! Hope everyone's good and hydrated! Drink your water! xx

Tag list: @downbad4reid, @roseydoesypoesy, @pastelpinkflowerlife, @justyourusualash, @hotchsmutrecs, @msfreedom, @birdysaturne, @gghostwriter, @mrs-ssa-hotch, @fore45fore, @actualdeemon, @diksy1112, @jethro-mcgee-tony, @hotchnerbau, @iniyalovesall, @222hwilsss, @balariie, @oliviabbb, @ncis0mrs0gibbs, @jasonswhitetuftofhair, @m4pl

[cimmanonrowl]

In the right time, maybe.

Have you ever screwed your life so bad your only choice is to run away from it? After almost getting yourself kicked out of law school, with a scandal that nearly ruined your good name in society— nothing ever came close to the disgrace of falling in love with your father’s best friend.

When everyone wanted to tear your worlds apart, you decided to take the downfall and tear Aaron Hotchner into pieces instead, in the silent hope that one day you will be together. That, in the right time, maybe.

Pairing: dbf!aaron hotchner x bfd!reader

Contents: age gap, older guy x young woman relationship, angst, fluff, smut, dad’s best friend!aaron hotchner, forbidden love.

Chapter Navigation ⋆ ★

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Note: Some chapters may contain r18+ scenes and proper tags will be administered accordingly. But even if this is not fully a smut fic, I don't want to see any minor, please. I will delete this blog for good if I see one.

[cimmanonrowl]

But baby, I’m so sorry. I don’t think that I’ll ever memorize this route. ‘Cause I am lost, but not in you.

Yes, I am lost, but not in you.

This was supposedly Aaron x reader but I realized the lyrics suit Spence more and I was like, fuck it.